Celebrity Juice (2008) s20e04 Episode Script
Tom Odell, Olly Murs, Gabrielle, Will Mellor
1 Hi, I'm Keith Lemon, check out my sweet-arse titles, you're probably thinking what the fuck is going on? But, don't worry, it's just another over-elaborate metaphor for how totally rad this show is! Look, there's Holly Willoughboozy firing space lasers from her massive tits! There's Fearne Cotton, riding a giant cock-shaped spaceship, Gino D'Acampo still on fucking holiday! Here we are, taking a selfie, online presence! We made it to the studio just in time for the best show on telly! What's that telly show on telly? It's Celebrity Juice on telly! Not in 3D.
I fucking wish it was, though! # Pop, pop, pop music Pop, pop, pop music Hoorah! Welcome to a Celebrity Juice pop special! Let's meet our team captains.
First up, it's Fearne Cotton! AUDIENCE CHEER Fearne, who's on your team? On my left is soul sensation, Gabrielle! Give me a little more time And, on my right, it is the brilliant, Tom Odell! Gabrielle, dreams can come true! And Tom Odell, which is an aspirin or something that my mum takes when she's got a bad stomach! Have you got a poorly stomach? Then you should take Tomodell! OK, let's meet our other team captain, it's Holly Willoughby! AUDIENCE CHEERS Who is on your team, Holly Willoughboozy? On my right, he is pop royalty, it's Will Mellor! And, on my left, my heart skips a beat, it's pop superstar, Olly Murs! My heart skip, skips a beat Tom, welcome to Celebrity Juice.
This is your first time on Celebrity Juice.
First time! You've had an amazing career, you've won a Brit award Yes.
.
.
number one album.
You're about to release your third album, here in physical format! First copy! That's ace! Yes, this is exclusive.
Here it is on vinyl, Jubilee Road.
I have to ask you, what's the message? Love and a bit of humour! That's kind of the slogan though, isn't it really? Yeah, looking at the cover, what do you think the message is? Erm, I'd murder an orange! Cos you love oranges, don't you? I love oranges! You love oranges, we've got some pictures of you with some oranges.
These are your photos! There's an orange there.
You must be writing a song there by your piano? We've got another one.
There you are, look, admiring it there with a blonde Teen Wolf! There, I love you.
Love to the orange! That's strange, I never noticed how much I liked oranges.
To welcome you here, I've got you an orange.
Here it is, and if you feel like you wanna get passionate with the orange, as a favour, I've tunnelled a little hole in it.
And you know what, I wanted to try it first to see if it were That's why it's such a small hole! That was just, like, the end though! Right, yeah.
We believe you.
AUDIENCE GROANS Orange juice.
You can still use that! Yeah, I wouldn't touch it.
Take that on tour with you.
What have you That's That's just a bit of jizzum! AUDIENCE LAUGH I wanna talk about some of your inspirations, cos apparently, your main inspiration for getting into music in the beginning was Will Mellor? It was! Will Mellor.
What?! What?! What does it feel like, being in the room with one of your idols? We met in the make-up room.
Oh, did you? Yeah, and you were very charming.
It's nice to be nice to your fans, innit? You remember his music videos, don't you, Tom Odell? I just listened to them on the CDs.
Did you? You never saw the videos? Ah! I wanna see it! You wanna see it? Yeah, I'd love to see it, come on.
I can't, because we do this to him every time.
Yeah, there's no point, it's boring.
Hold on.
Are we gonna do the thing where I pretend that we haven't got the clip but we have got the clip, actually? It's too expensive now, cos we showed it so many times! Of course we've got the clip.
Have a look at this, Tom Odell! # Even though I try # I can tell myself I'll get over you # Cos you're on my mind No matter what I do! AUDIENCE CHEERS My heart skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skips a beat! Olly Murs! AUDIENCE CHEERS I've missed you.
I've missed you too! It's been so long.
It's great to be back.
Good to be on the show.
You know, every time you come on Celebrity Juice, we always have a kiss, don't we? AUDIENCE LAUGHS Gentle, though, just gentle! # Dreams can come true Look at me babe # I'm with you # You know you've got to have hope You know you've got to be strong # Dreams can come true # Look at me babe I'm with you # You know you've got to have hope You know you've got To be strong THEY LAUGH We always have a kiss, don't we? We always have a kiss! It's good to be here, thanks for that.
It's lovely having you here.
How does it feel to be on the panel with Will? Do you know what, I love Will.
He's one of your heroes, isn't he? He's one of my heroes! When you were born, and it was on radio, one of his songs, you were like, when I grow up, I wanna be like I wanna be like Will Mellor.
I do.
It was never on the fucking radio.
I have here, your new single, Moves.
Come on! Thanks, mate! It's purple in colouration.
Is it true that it's with Snoop Doggy Dog? Snoop Doggy Dog, yeah.
Is it? Yeah, I've got a song with Snoop.
Why do you think that Snoop Dog teamed up with you? Did he know who you were? Do you think he was like with his posse, and he's like that, "Man, motherfucker, I want some of that Olly Murs shit, man!" I really hope that's how it went down! It didn't go down that way, unfortunately! Also, this year, you were the captain of the England team for Soccer Aid 2018? Yes! Of course, loved it! And you won? We did win.
It was amazing.
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Thank you! There you are, winning! You get really sort of excited, don't you, when you win things? Cos I think in the dressing room, you took the award back.
I did, yeah.
And then you fucked it, didn't you? There you are, fucking it.
And then, he fucked Mark Wright! Look at this! This is him fucking Mark Wright! THEY LAUGH Tom, you'd better look away here.
Look at this picture, don't get jealous! Oh, wow! Wow! There he is with your orange.
It wasn't me, it was you! You dirty piglet! Hey, dreams can come true, it's Gabrielle! AUDIENCE CHEERS Gabrielle, apparently, you're a big Juice fan? No, completely.
Are you? I told everybody, and I'm not lying, I haven't made it until I've come on this show! # Dreams can come true # Look at me babe I'm with you You know you've got to have You've got a new album out as well? That's right.
The first album in 11 years.
Here it is! 11 years?! It's called Under My Skin.
That's right.
What's the message? Oh, my God, it's about life, empowerment No, that sounds like the synopsis! The message? The message is to love yourself! Like pleasurising yourself? No, not about that.
Gabrielle, 11 years, what have you been doing? I have been touring.
Yes.
And the school run, really boring.
How far away is the fucking school for the kids? Move closer to the school! 11 years! No, I'm close enough, but yeah! You've had some quite iconic looks in your career.
First one is when you were the Virgin Mary! There you are, the Virgin Mary.
Oh, my god! That's back in the day, dreams can come true! Yeah? Yes! That was from the Matrix, when you were in The Matrix! Yeah! And the next one is the Sainsbury's bag for life! Oh, my god! What's wrong with my outfit! I love that! Hey, it's Will Mellor! AUDIENCE CHEERS I tell you what, huge congratulations, Will, because you've just starred in the most watched drama for ten years, the BBC's phenomenal The Bodyguard.
Well done, everyone! Congratulations! He's talking bollocks, I haven't been, I'm not even in The Bodyguard! You're not in The Bodyguard? No, I'm not in The Bodyguard! Oh, sorry, sorry.
But, we have got big news, you've just been cast, the lead role, in the new Star Wars film! Yes! STAR WARS THEME SONG PLAYS When's that filming? You know I'm not in Star Wars, why are you Hey, I tell you what, congratulations, you've just done the third series of No Offence! That's true! Yes, currently on Channel 4! So, when Noah built the Ark Fucking hell! .
.
what happens when he builds the fence? It's not called Noah .
.
fence! No fence? It's not about someone called Noah building a fence! Yeah, with Noah's Ark, then he built a fence around it?! No, no! They let the animals in two by two? No! It's called What's it called? .
.
No Offence! You've fucking lost me, I'm telling you! It says No Offence? It's called No Of-fucking-fence! It's cos you saying it's Noah Fence, it's not Noah Fence! You said it's called No Offence! No Offence! That's what I said, No Offence! Right, it's about a bloke who builds a fucking fence, called Noah! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS I tell you what, here's something we can congratulate him on.
This is great news.
It's a pop special and the reason is because Will is here and he is officially relaunching his pop career! Yes! AUDIENCE CHEERS AUDIENCE CHANT: Will! Will! It says here that you're kick-starting your relaunch by releasing a Greatest Hits album.
I've got some of the hits here.
Will Mellor Gold, The Ultimate Collection! It's got all the hits on.
When I Need You, No Matter What I Do THEY LAUGH I tell you what I'm gonna do to help relaunch your kick-start thing, I wanna create a bit of a buzz for you, get the word out there, yeah? Thanks! So, earlier today, to help you, we did this.
It's to promote your new album.
Thanks! # Even though I try # I tell myself # I'll get over you # Cos you're on my mind No matter what I do # When I need love # I hold out my hands # And I touch love I never knew there Was so much love THEY APPLAUD Thank you! I tell you what else I've done, I know people are desperate to get hold of the album.
Yeah.
So, I've set up a stall down the road.
For every album you sell, you'll receive £12.
99 and a point for your team! So, I've got to sell them for 13 quid? Yeah.
I've got no fucking chance! Olly, will you help him? 100%, I'll help! Come on, Olly, I need his help! We've got a stall down the road, we're going to follow you.
Good luck! On your journey, back to the top of the charts.
Will and Olly, everyone! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Gabrielle, you're a big fan of chocolate, aren't you? Apparently, you've said you'd give up sex before chocolate? Well, it's not hard to do.
It is if I'm around.
So, what I've done, as a thank you for coming on, I've bought you a big bar of it.
Ooh, a big bar of it.
But, there is a problem, I accidentally left it on the top shelf, over there, as you can see.
What?! So, it's slightly # Out of reach # So, let's play # Out of reach # Hello and welcome to Out of Reach.
As we can see, we have some chocolate up there that Gabrielle so desires, on the top shelf! If you can retrieve that, you'll get the chocolate, but not only that, a point for your team! HE GASPS OK.
Oh, my god! You've got ten seconds to do so! Here we go, ten seconds! One, two, three, four, five! # Out of reach, so far I never had your heart KLAXON SOUNDS Oh! That's a liberty! I'll give you another chance, you get another ten seconds.
Get your teammates to help you! Shall we do, like, one of those fireman things? Oh, yeah, you can sit in our hands! Ten seconds on the clock, starting now! # Look at my heart I have seen it fall apart # And now I'm ready To rise again Got it, got it! Yes! # Dreams can come true # Look at me babe I'm with you Dreams can come true! # You know you've got to have hope You know you've got To be strong.
I can't believe we did that! And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! THE AUDIENCE APPLAUD AND CHEER Holly, we're gonna find out what your teammates are up to, we're going outside now, live, outside.
Let's have a look.
Let's have a look.
Hello? Hi, Keith.
Oh, wow! Olly, what's the atmosphere like out there? Oh my god, it is so exciting.
I mean, the energy here is incredible.
We're really, really pumped.
I mean, Will's ready, we've got the CDs.
It looks crazy.
Have you sold any yet? We haven't! But, we believe we can achieve.
Get your CDs! Yep, get your CDs! We've got someone! Here he is! Welcome.
This is a great moment! How much are they? £12.
99, what a bargain that is.
It's not £13, it's not £13.
01.
It's £12.
99 for you, sir.
I tell you what I've got, I've got a £10 here, and that's all I've got.
You can fuck off, £10?! No, bollocks! Come here, come here.
What? Will, we've not fucking sold anything.
We need to sell at least fucking one.
That's one point for the team! Yeah, give us a tenner.
Now, listen, tell your friends, we're here for one night only, Will Mellor Gold.
Two great songs on there.
That's the one! It's gold, yeah?! Gold! Remember that! Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, sir.
What's your name, anyway? Daniel.
Where you from, Daniel? Essex.
Essex, wa-hey! Yeah, great.
'Well done, lads!' Yes! And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! We're going to an ad break.
I'm off for a poo, I'll see you in two! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Coming up after the break Hoorah! Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! Here, Fearne, Fearne.
Yeah? You're a busy man.
Have you ever been walking down the street carrying things, your hands are full, you drop something, you can't use your hands cos they're full, so you pick something up with your tongue? Oh, that's a curveball.
No, no, I haven't done that! You've never done that? No, I am a busy guy though.
You are a busy guy.
Well, if you've never done that, let's play 'Welcome to the House of Tongue!' # Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the house of fun.
How do.
Welcome to the House Of Tongue.
This game is so simple.
Basically, I'm gonna put an item in the circle, our panellists will come up and pick up the item using only their tongues, then will deposit the item in this bowl for a point for their team.
First up, it's Tom and Gabrielle! # Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age Music legends, there you go! No! Yes! What is it? Yeah, come on.
Apple core! Ooh, that's close! Just tongues? Yes, only tongues.
Flip it over, and then double end it! That's really good advice.
You take the mouth and I'll KLAXON SOUNDS There's the klaxon.
Quick! Off you go! All right, ah! Oh my God, what?! Pop special for popstars! OK, tongues only, only tongues! There you go, steady does it.
Oh, come on, Tom! Oh, yes, oh, they're doing it.
Tongues only.
Tongues only.
Yes! Next up, it's Holly and Fearne! Oh, God! You might see my bum! How small's this item gonna be? Otherwise I'm gonna flash my arse! An olive! Are you taking the mick? No, it's just a bit of fun on a Thursday night, a point for your team.
You'll like it, it's good! Great.
You'll go on the klaxon? Yeah! Are you ready? Oh, God! KLAXON SOUNDS There you go! My nose is gonna get very much in the way here! AUDIENCE CHEERS Oh! That was so good.
Come on! That was so nearly there! Bit more effort, you'll get there! Hi, you're watching ITV2, Holly and Fearne using their tongues to pick up an olive! There they are.
Tongues! Tongues! Tongues! Tongues! Slowly! Yes! Of all my ten years on Celebrity Juice, that is the sexiest thing I've ever seen! I tell you what, for all you 16-year-old boys whose parents have gone out on the pop, get some tissues.
Here's an action replay, A gift from me to you! # I kissed a girl and I liked it# Oh, look at that! Dreams can come true! Oh, my word! Oh, look at that! Well, I'm not moving away from this platform! Right.
Next up, it's Olly Murs and Will! # Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the house of fun This one's serious cos this one's for double points! So, it won't be as easy.
It might not be as easy.
Get down! Is it We gotta get low then? Oh, no, seriously! Oh! All right, you two.
Here we go! Oh, man! Oh, no-no-no! What is it? I can't see it! No-no-no! Oh, fuck off! No-no-no! Double points! No way! That's fucking disgusting.
It's a clean one, fresh out of the wrapper! Seriously, you could breathe that in and get in your throat! Will, put your tongue in.
Stick my tongue in?! Go on the klaxon! What end are you taking? KLAXON SOUNDS Oh, there you go! You're watching Celebrity Juice on ITV2, the BAFTA winning show! Yeah! Will Mellor and Olly Murs picking up a rubber johnnie with their tongue! For a point for their team! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes! AUDIENCE CHEERS That's not right, is it? Will and Olly! Here's an action replay! # Be a little bit wiser baby Get it on get it on Look at that, like two lizards! # Cos tonight is the night When two become one.
That's disgraceful! And, the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! Now, we know this is a pop special cos we've got lots of pop artists on the show, especially Will there, we know you've got super skills, but do any of you have any secret skills? Yeah? I tell you what, let's find out, as we play Hello! And welcome to UK and Eire's Got Even More Secret Skills, I'm your host, Keith Lemon.
In this round, our panellists will come up onto the stage and perform a secret skill.
They will read it off the monitor, perhaps they'll win a point and get the golden shower! First up, proving they have even more secret skills, it's Tom Odell! Here he is, yeah.
He's a young lad, Tom, what's your name and where do you come from? It's Tom, I'm from Chichester.
Oh, were ready.
Go out there, give it your best shot! Show us you've got secret skills! Why is there a sheep out there? Go on, find out! There you go! Read the monitor, Tom.
There you go.
I can't wait, I can't wait! Can't wait! Great! You look great! You look great! Let's go.
Ready! This is the end of my career, right here.
Oh, God! HE YODELS # I heard that your dreams came true # Guess she gave you things I didn't give to yodelayheehoo # Old friend why are you So shy-a-la-ai Ain't like you to hold back Or hide from the lie-hi-hi-hies.
I love it! # Never mind I'll find Someone like you-ooh I wish nothing but the best For you too-loo-del-oo-del-ooh Wow! Tom Yodel! I loved it! They loved it! They loved it! Let's see what our adjudicators say, have you indeed got even more secret skills? You have got secret skills! That's a point for your team! Tom Yodel in the hizzy! Well done! Next up, proving they have even more secret skills, it's Will Mellor! Will, what's your name and where do you come from? Hello, I'm Will Mellor, I'm from Stockport in Manchester.
What are you hoping happens after this? I'm just hoping that I can, once I've done this, I'll feel No one's bothered.
It doesn't matter.
Go on.
Get out there.
Will Mellor, everyone! What's your secret skill? You've got to do it with your teeth! What the fuck am I doing? Thumbs up, here we go! Removing their tights, that's what you just said! With my teeth? I'll rip my teeth out! Where is the model? # I'm your Private dancer A dancer for money # Do what you want me to do # I'm your private dancer A dancer for money # Any old music will do AUDIENCE CHEERS # I'm your private dancer # Dancer for money Do what you want me to do Stay down! # I'm your private dancer Dancer for money Any old music will do.
Watch my fucking teeth! # A dancer for money Do what you want me to Yes! I tell you what, EG, you got your That's EG, our Japanese businessman.
Hello, mate.
HE SPEAKS JAPANESE Nice to meet you, mate.
You really got your funk on there! HE SPEAKS JAPANESE I won't take the piss.
Just show us those moves! Will, let's find out if you do indeed have even more secret skills! I had my finger up his arse! Right up his arse! Let's see what they're saying.
It's a point for your team.
You have got secret skills, AND you've got the golden shower! Yes! # I'm your private dancer Dancer for money Do what you want me to do Just a private dancer Our last secret skill of the night, will be performed by Olly, Will and Fearne! AUDIENCE CHEERS You're a singing group.
You've got secret skills, yeah? We can do many things.
Yeah.
Well, get out there.
Good luck! Thank you.
Can't wait.
Good luck.
Just read off the monitor! Oh, fuck off! AUDIENCE SCREAMS MUSIC: 'Pony' by Ginuwine Woo-hoo! KEITH LAUGHS AUDIENCE WHISTLES It's great! AUDIENCE SCREAMS Oh, I'm gonna see something quite different! I'm gonna stand this side.
I didn't wanna see full front.
AUDIENCE WHISTLES It's a golden shower! Yeah! # Yeah you and me We can ride on a star If you stay with me, girl Olly, Will and Fearne Cotton and their secret skills! And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! If you stay by my side We can rule the world! We are going to an ad break.
See you in three! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Coming up after the break Without using his hands or teeth! No! Hello and welcome back to Celebrity Juice! AUDIENCE CHEERS It's all to play for in our final round.
It's the buzzer round! Buzz in if you know the answer.
If you don't know the answer, be a chancer, buzz in anyway! Holly, what's your buzzer this week? 'Holly's team, going to the jungle, equal pay.
' Fearne, what's your buzzer this week? 'Fearne's team, smell my fingers.
' OK, first question, what did Simon Cowell reportedly pull out of recently? 'Fearne's team, get fucking back on your end' Fearne's team? Wasn't he meant to be best man, and then he couldn't be arsed? That's correct! He was best man at a wedding.
For a bonus point, who stepped in at the wedding to take Simon Cowell's place? 'Holly's team, going to the jungle, equal pay.
' Holly's team.
Louis Walsh, he normally 'Fearne's team, get the fuck out of my face.
' That is so close.
Bradley Walsh! That's correct, Fearne! No way! Bradley Walsh, from The Chase? Point for Will Mellor if he does an impression of a washing machine! WILL MAKES SWISHING SOUNDS Point for the first team to put their feet up on the desk! Oh! Holly's team That was Holly's team! Why does Will Mellor have sadness in his eyes? 'Fearne's team, get me a pint.
' Is he watching one of his music videos? No, let's have a look! He's just been to a bukkake party! A point for Olly if he can down this glass of water without using his hands or teeth! It's only water.
It's all right.
He's good at this! Really?! Wow! No! Oh, my god! A point! Amazing, wow! AUDIENCE CHEERS A point for whoever eats a banana in the sexiest way! Give it to Holly.
I'm not doing it.
I don't like them.
A point for your team, who eats a banana the sexiest way! I'm just not a fan! One skin, two skin, three skin, and the last bit! Fuck it, Holly's getting the point! I thought we were all having a go! What's Tom Odell about to eat here? 'Fearne's team.
Oh, I'd fucking shag that.
' A big, fat orange! Let's have a look.
No, it's Tom Odell! THEY LAUGH Who's this twat? 'Holly's team, going to jungle, equal pay.
' He knew before the photo had even come up! It's me.
Let's have a look! There he is! There he is! Who's this twat? 'Fearne's team.
Look at the fucking state of that.
' Fearne's team.
I'm gonna Wild guess, Will.
Let's have a look.
That's correct! It was Halloween, it was Halloween! Hey, who's this twat? 'Fearne's team, I can't see a fucking' Fucking hell fire! Is it Will? Let's have a look.
No, it's Fearne Cotton! LAUGHTER With my arms! My arms look amazing there! KLAXON Oh, there's the klaxon.
That's the end of the buzzer round, the end of this week's Celebrity Juice! I can tell you that the winning team is is Holly's team! THEY CHEER I was Keith Lemon.
if I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through window.
Let's dance! # If I could make you mine If I could make you mine # I would make us shine, Shine, shine forever # If I could be your feather Be your feather # I would find a way To fall into your heart # I would make you mine # I would make us shine I would make us shine, Shine, shine forever.
I fucking wish it was, though! # Pop, pop, pop music Pop, pop, pop music Hoorah! Welcome to a Celebrity Juice pop special! Let's meet our team captains.
First up, it's Fearne Cotton! AUDIENCE CHEER Fearne, who's on your team? On my left is soul sensation, Gabrielle! Give me a little more time And, on my right, it is the brilliant, Tom Odell! Gabrielle, dreams can come true! And Tom Odell, which is an aspirin or something that my mum takes when she's got a bad stomach! Have you got a poorly stomach? Then you should take Tomodell! OK, let's meet our other team captain, it's Holly Willoughby! AUDIENCE CHEERS Who is on your team, Holly Willoughboozy? On my right, he is pop royalty, it's Will Mellor! And, on my left, my heart skips a beat, it's pop superstar, Olly Murs! My heart skip, skips a beat Tom, welcome to Celebrity Juice.
This is your first time on Celebrity Juice.
First time! You've had an amazing career, you've won a Brit award Yes.
.
.
number one album.
You're about to release your third album, here in physical format! First copy! That's ace! Yes, this is exclusive.
Here it is on vinyl, Jubilee Road.
I have to ask you, what's the message? Love and a bit of humour! That's kind of the slogan though, isn't it really? Yeah, looking at the cover, what do you think the message is? Erm, I'd murder an orange! Cos you love oranges, don't you? I love oranges! You love oranges, we've got some pictures of you with some oranges.
These are your photos! There's an orange there.
You must be writing a song there by your piano? We've got another one.
There you are, look, admiring it there with a blonde Teen Wolf! There, I love you.
Love to the orange! That's strange, I never noticed how much I liked oranges.
To welcome you here, I've got you an orange.
Here it is, and if you feel like you wanna get passionate with the orange, as a favour, I've tunnelled a little hole in it.
And you know what, I wanted to try it first to see if it were That's why it's such a small hole! That was just, like, the end though! Right, yeah.
We believe you.
AUDIENCE GROANS Orange juice.
You can still use that! Yeah, I wouldn't touch it.
Take that on tour with you.
What have you That's That's just a bit of jizzum! AUDIENCE LAUGH I wanna talk about some of your inspirations, cos apparently, your main inspiration for getting into music in the beginning was Will Mellor? It was! Will Mellor.
What?! What?! What does it feel like, being in the room with one of your idols? We met in the make-up room.
Oh, did you? Yeah, and you were very charming.
It's nice to be nice to your fans, innit? You remember his music videos, don't you, Tom Odell? I just listened to them on the CDs.
Did you? You never saw the videos? Ah! I wanna see it! You wanna see it? Yeah, I'd love to see it, come on.
I can't, because we do this to him every time.
Yeah, there's no point, it's boring.
Hold on.
Are we gonna do the thing where I pretend that we haven't got the clip but we have got the clip, actually? It's too expensive now, cos we showed it so many times! Of course we've got the clip.
Have a look at this, Tom Odell! # Even though I try # I can tell myself I'll get over you # Cos you're on my mind No matter what I do! AUDIENCE CHEERS My heart skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skip, skips a beat! Olly Murs! AUDIENCE CHEERS I've missed you.
I've missed you too! It's been so long.
It's great to be back.
Good to be on the show.
You know, every time you come on Celebrity Juice, we always have a kiss, don't we? AUDIENCE LAUGHS Gentle, though, just gentle! # Dreams can come true Look at me babe # I'm with you # You know you've got to have hope You know you've got to be strong # Dreams can come true # Look at me babe I'm with you # You know you've got to have hope You know you've got To be strong THEY LAUGH We always have a kiss, don't we? We always have a kiss! It's good to be here, thanks for that.
It's lovely having you here.
How does it feel to be on the panel with Will? Do you know what, I love Will.
He's one of your heroes, isn't he? He's one of my heroes! When you were born, and it was on radio, one of his songs, you were like, when I grow up, I wanna be like I wanna be like Will Mellor.
I do.
It was never on the fucking radio.
I have here, your new single, Moves.
Come on! Thanks, mate! It's purple in colouration.
Is it true that it's with Snoop Doggy Dog? Snoop Doggy Dog, yeah.
Is it? Yeah, I've got a song with Snoop.
Why do you think that Snoop Dog teamed up with you? Did he know who you were? Do you think he was like with his posse, and he's like that, "Man, motherfucker, I want some of that Olly Murs shit, man!" I really hope that's how it went down! It didn't go down that way, unfortunately! Also, this year, you were the captain of the England team for Soccer Aid 2018? Yes! Of course, loved it! And you won? We did win.
It was amazing.
AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Thank you! There you are, winning! You get really sort of excited, don't you, when you win things? Cos I think in the dressing room, you took the award back.
I did, yeah.
And then you fucked it, didn't you? There you are, fucking it.
And then, he fucked Mark Wright! Look at this! This is him fucking Mark Wright! THEY LAUGH Tom, you'd better look away here.
Look at this picture, don't get jealous! Oh, wow! Wow! There he is with your orange.
It wasn't me, it was you! You dirty piglet! Hey, dreams can come true, it's Gabrielle! AUDIENCE CHEERS Gabrielle, apparently, you're a big Juice fan? No, completely.
Are you? I told everybody, and I'm not lying, I haven't made it until I've come on this show! # Dreams can come true # Look at me babe I'm with you You know you've got to have You've got a new album out as well? That's right.
The first album in 11 years.
Here it is! 11 years?! It's called Under My Skin.
That's right.
What's the message? Oh, my God, it's about life, empowerment No, that sounds like the synopsis! The message? The message is to love yourself! Like pleasurising yourself? No, not about that.
Gabrielle, 11 years, what have you been doing? I have been touring.
Yes.
And the school run, really boring.
How far away is the fucking school for the kids? Move closer to the school! 11 years! No, I'm close enough, but yeah! You've had some quite iconic looks in your career.
First one is when you were the Virgin Mary! There you are, the Virgin Mary.
Oh, my god! That's back in the day, dreams can come true! Yeah? Yes! That was from the Matrix, when you were in The Matrix! Yeah! And the next one is the Sainsbury's bag for life! Oh, my god! What's wrong with my outfit! I love that! Hey, it's Will Mellor! AUDIENCE CHEERS I tell you what, huge congratulations, Will, because you've just starred in the most watched drama for ten years, the BBC's phenomenal The Bodyguard.
Well done, everyone! Congratulations! He's talking bollocks, I haven't been, I'm not even in The Bodyguard! You're not in The Bodyguard? No, I'm not in The Bodyguard! Oh, sorry, sorry.
But, we have got big news, you've just been cast, the lead role, in the new Star Wars film! Yes! STAR WARS THEME SONG PLAYS When's that filming? You know I'm not in Star Wars, why are you Hey, I tell you what, congratulations, you've just done the third series of No Offence! That's true! Yes, currently on Channel 4! So, when Noah built the Ark Fucking hell! .
.
what happens when he builds the fence? It's not called Noah .
.
fence! No fence? It's not about someone called Noah building a fence! Yeah, with Noah's Ark, then he built a fence around it?! No, no! They let the animals in two by two? No! It's called What's it called? .
.
No Offence! You've fucking lost me, I'm telling you! It says No Offence? It's called No Of-fucking-fence! It's cos you saying it's Noah Fence, it's not Noah Fence! You said it's called No Offence! No Offence! That's what I said, No Offence! Right, it's about a bloke who builds a fucking fence, called Noah! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS I tell you what, here's something we can congratulate him on.
This is great news.
It's a pop special and the reason is because Will is here and he is officially relaunching his pop career! Yes! AUDIENCE CHEERS AUDIENCE CHANT: Will! Will! It says here that you're kick-starting your relaunch by releasing a Greatest Hits album.
I've got some of the hits here.
Will Mellor Gold, The Ultimate Collection! It's got all the hits on.
When I Need You, No Matter What I Do THEY LAUGH I tell you what I'm gonna do to help relaunch your kick-start thing, I wanna create a bit of a buzz for you, get the word out there, yeah? Thanks! So, earlier today, to help you, we did this.
It's to promote your new album.
Thanks! # Even though I try # I tell myself # I'll get over you # Cos you're on my mind No matter what I do # When I need love # I hold out my hands # And I touch love I never knew there Was so much love THEY APPLAUD Thank you! I tell you what else I've done, I know people are desperate to get hold of the album.
Yeah.
So, I've set up a stall down the road.
For every album you sell, you'll receive £12.
99 and a point for your team! So, I've got to sell them for 13 quid? Yeah.
I've got no fucking chance! Olly, will you help him? 100%, I'll help! Come on, Olly, I need his help! We've got a stall down the road, we're going to follow you.
Good luck! On your journey, back to the top of the charts.
Will and Olly, everyone! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Gabrielle, you're a big fan of chocolate, aren't you? Apparently, you've said you'd give up sex before chocolate? Well, it's not hard to do.
It is if I'm around.
So, what I've done, as a thank you for coming on, I've bought you a big bar of it.
Ooh, a big bar of it.
But, there is a problem, I accidentally left it on the top shelf, over there, as you can see.
What?! So, it's slightly # Out of reach # So, let's play # Out of reach # Hello and welcome to Out of Reach.
As we can see, we have some chocolate up there that Gabrielle so desires, on the top shelf! If you can retrieve that, you'll get the chocolate, but not only that, a point for your team! HE GASPS OK.
Oh, my god! You've got ten seconds to do so! Here we go, ten seconds! One, two, three, four, five! # Out of reach, so far I never had your heart KLAXON SOUNDS Oh! That's a liberty! I'll give you another chance, you get another ten seconds.
Get your teammates to help you! Shall we do, like, one of those fireman things? Oh, yeah, you can sit in our hands! Ten seconds on the clock, starting now! # Look at my heart I have seen it fall apart # And now I'm ready To rise again Got it, got it! Yes! # Dreams can come true # Look at me babe I'm with you Dreams can come true! # You know you've got to have hope You know you've got To be strong.
I can't believe we did that! And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! THE AUDIENCE APPLAUD AND CHEER Holly, we're gonna find out what your teammates are up to, we're going outside now, live, outside.
Let's have a look.
Let's have a look.
Hello? Hi, Keith.
Oh, wow! Olly, what's the atmosphere like out there? Oh my god, it is so exciting.
I mean, the energy here is incredible.
We're really, really pumped.
I mean, Will's ready, we've got the CDs.
It looks crazy.
Have you sold any yet? We haven't! But, we believe we can achieve.
Get your CDs! Yep, get your CDs! We've got someone! Here he is! Welcome.
This is a great moment! How much are they? £12.
99, what a bargain that is.
It's not £13, it's not £13.
01.
It's £12.
99 for you, sir.
I tell you what I've got, I've got a £10 here, and that's all I've got.
You can fuck off, £10?! No, bollocks! Come here, come here.
What? Will, we've not fucking sold anything.
We need to sell at least fucking one.
That's one point for the team! Yeah, give us a tenner.
Now, listen, tell your friends, we're here for one night only, Will Mellor Gold.
Two great songs on there.
That's the one! It's gold, yeah?! Gold! Remember that! Thank you very much.
Thank you very much, sir.
What's your name, anyway? Daniel.
Where you from, Daniel? Essex.
Essex, wa-hey! Yeah, great.
'Well done, lads!' Yes! And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! We're going to an ad break.
I'm off for a poo, I'll see you in two! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Coming up after the break Hoorah! Welcome back to Celebrity Juice! Here, Fearne, Fearne.
Yeah? You're a busy man.
Have you ever been walking down the street carrying things, your hands are full, you drop something, you can't use your hands cos they're full, so you pick something up with your tongue? Oh, that's a curveball.
No, no, I haven't done that! You've never done that? No, I am a busy guy though.
You are a busy guy.
Well, if you've never done that, let's play 'Welcome to the House of Tongue!' # Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the house of fun.
How do.
Welcome to the House Of Tongue.
This game is so simple.
Basically, I'm gonna put an item in the circle, our panellists will come up and pick up the item using only their tongues, then will deposit the item in this bowl for a point for their team.
First up, it's Tom and Gabrielle! # Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age Music legends, there you go! No! Yes! What is it? Yeah, come on.
Apple core! Ooh, that's close! Just tongues? Yes, only tongues.
Flip it over, and then double end it! That's really good advice.
You take the mouth and I'll KLAXON SOUNDS There's the klaxon.
Quick! Off you go! All right, ah! Oh my God, what?! Pop special for popstars! OK, tongues only, only tongues! There you go, steady does it.
Oh, come on, Tom! Oh, yes, oh, they're doing it.
Tongues only.
Tongues only.
Yes! Next up, it's Holly and Fearne! Oh, God! You might see my bum! How small's this item gonna be? Otherwise I'm gonna flash my arse! An olive! Are you taking the mick? No, it's just a bit of fun on a Thursday night, a point for your team.
You'll like it, it's good! Great.
You'll go on the klaxon? Yeah! Are you ready? Oh, God! KLAXON SOUNDS There you go! My nose is gonna get very much in the way here! AUDIENCE CHEERS Oh! That was so good.
Come on! That was so nearly there! Bit more effort, you'll get there! Hi, you're watching ITV2, Holly and Fearne using their tongues to pick up an olive! There they are.
Tongues! Tongues! Tongues! Tongues! Slowly! Yes! Of all my ten years on Celebrity Juice, that is the sexiest thing I've ever seen! I tell you what, for all you 16-year-old boys whose parents have gone out on the pop, get some tissues.
Here's an action replay, A gift from me to you! # I kissed a girl and I liked it# Oh, look at that! Dreams can come true! Oh, my word! Oh, look at that! Well, I'm not moving away from this platform! Right.
Next up, it's Olly Murs and Will! # Welcome to the house of fun Now I've come of age Welcome to the house of fun This one's serious cos this one's for double points! So, it won't be as easy.
It might not be as easy.
Get down! Is it We gotta get low then? Oh, no, seriously! Oh! All right, you two.
Here we go! Oh, man! Oh, no-no-no! What is it? I can't see it! No-no-no! Oh, fuck off! No-no-no! Double points! No way! That's fucking disgusting.
It's a clean one, fresh out of the wrapper! Seriously, you could breathe that in and get in your throat! Will, put your tongue in.
Stick my tongue in?! Go on the klaxon! What end are you taking? KLAXON SOUNDS Oh, there you go! You're watching Celebrity Juice on ITV2, the BAFTA winning show! Yeah! Will Mellor and Olly Murs picking up a rubber johnnie with their tongue! For a point for their team! Yes, yes, yes, yes! Yes! AUDIENCE CHEERS That's not right, is it? Will and Olly! Here's an action replay! # Be a little bit wiser baby Get it on get it on Look at that, like two lizards! # Cos tonight is the night When two become one.
That's disgraceful! And, the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! Now, we know this is a pop special cos we've got lots of pop artists on the show, especially Will there, we know you've got super skills, but do any of you have any secret skills? Yeah? I tell you what, let's find out, as we play Hello! And welcome to UK and Eire's Got Even More Secret Skills, I'm your host, Keith Lemon.
In this round, our panellists will come up onto the stage and perform a secret skill.
They will read it off the monitor, perhaps they'll win a point and get the golden shower! First up, proving they have even more secret skills, it's Tom Odell! Here he is, yeah.
He's a young lad, Tom, what's your name and where do you come from? It's Tom, I'm from Chichester.
Oh, were ready.
Go out there, give it your best shot! Show us you've got secret skills! Why is there a sheep out there? Go on, find out! There you go! Read the monitor, Tom.
There you go.
I can't wait, I can't wait! Can't wait! Great! You look great! You look great! Let's go.
Ready! This is the end of my career, right here.
Oh, God! HE YODELS # I heard that your dreams came true # Guess she gave you things I didn't give to yodelayheehoo # Old friend why are you So shy-a-la-ai Ain't like you to hold back Or hide from the lie-hi-hi-hies.
I love it! # Never mind I'll find Someone like you-ooh I wish nothing but the best For you too-loo-del-oo-del-ooh Wow! Tom Yodel! I loved it! They loved it! They loved it! Let's see what our adjudicators say, have you indeed got even more secret skills? You have got secret skills! That's a point for your team! Tom Yodel in the hizzy! Well done! Next up, proving they have even more secret skills, it's Will Mellor! Will, what's your name and where do you come from? Hello, I'm Will Mellor, I'm from Stockport in Manchester.
What are you hoping happens after this? I'm just hoping that I can, once I've done this, I'll feel No one's bothered.
It doesn't matter.
Go on.
Get out there.
Will Mellor, everyone! What's your secret skill? You've got to do it with your teeth! What the fuck am I doing? Thumbs up, here we go! Removing their tights, that's what you just said! With my teeth? I'll rip my teeth out! Where is the model? # I'm your Private dancer A dancer for money # Do what you want me to do # I'm your private dancer A dancer for money # Any old music will do AUDIENCE CHEERS # I'm your private dancer # Dancer for money Do what you want me to do Stay down! # I'm your private dancer Dancer for money Any old music will do.
Watch my fucking teeth! # A dancer for money Do what you want me to Yes! I tell you what, EG, you got your That's EG, our Japanese businessman.
Hello, mate.
HE SPEAKS JAPANESE Nice to meet you, mate.
You really got your funk on there! HE SPEAKS JAPANESE I won't take the piss.
Just show us those moves! Will, let's find out if you do indeed have even more secret skills! I had my finger up his arse! Right up his arse! Let's see what they're saying.
It's a point for your team.
You have got secret skills, AND you've got the golden shower! Yes! # I'm your private dancer Dancer for money Do what you want me to do Just a private dancer Our last secret skill of the night, will be performed by Olly, Will and Fearne! AUDIENCE CHEERS You're a singing group.
You've got secret skills, yeah? We can do many things.
Yeah.
Well, get out there.
Good luck! Thank you.
Can't wait.
Good luck.
Just read off the monitor! Oh, fuck off! AUDIENCE SCREAMS MUSIC: 'Pony' by Ginuwine Woo-hoo! KEITH LAUGHS AUDIENCE WHISTLES It's great! AUDIENCE SCREAMS Oh, I'm gonna see something quite different! I'm gonna stand this side.
I didn't wanna see full front.
AUDIENCE WHISTLES It's a golden shower! Yeah! # Yeah you and me We can ride on a star If you stay with me, girl Olly, Will and Fearne Cotton and their secret skills! And the scores at the end of that round are Sha-ting! If you stay by my side We can rule the world! We are going to an ad break.
See you in three! AUDIENCE APPLAUDS Coming up after the break Without using his hands or teeth! No! Hello and welcome back to Celebrity Juice! AUDIENCE CHEERS It's all to play for in our final round.
It's the buzzer round! Buzz in if you know the answer.
If you don't know the answer, be a chancer, buzz in anyway! Holly, what's your buzzer this week? 'Holly's team, going to the jungle, equal pay.
' Fearne, what's your buzzer this week? 'Fearne's team, smell my fingers.
' OK, first question, what did Simon Cowell reportedly pull out of recently? 'Fearne's team, get fucking back on your end' Fearne's team? Wasn't he meant to be best man, and then he couldn't be arsed? That's correct! He was best man at a wedding.
For a bonus point, who stepped in at the wedding to take Simon Cowell's place? 'Holly's team, going to the jungle, equal pay.
' Holly's team.
Louis Walsh, he normally 'Fearne's team, get the fuck out of my face.
' That is so close.
Bradley Walsh! That's correct, Fearne! No way! Bradley Walsh, from The Chase? Point for Will Mellor if he does an impression of a washing machine! WILL MAKES SWISHING SOUNDS Point for the first team to put their feet up on the desk! Oh! Holly's team That was Holly's team! Why does Will Mellor have sadness in his eyes? 'Fearne's team, get me a pint.
' Is he watching one of his music videos? No, let's have a look! He's just been to a bukkake party! A point for Olly if he can down this glass of water without using his hands or teeth! It's only water.
It's all right.
He's good at this! Really?! Wow! No! Oh, my god! A point! Amazing, wow! AUDIENCE CHEERS A point for whoever eats a banana in the sexiest way! Give it to Holly.
I'm not doing it.
I don't like them.
A point for your team, who eats a banana the sexiest way! I'm just not a fan! One skin, two skin, three skin, and the last bit! Fuck it, Holly's getting the point! I thought we were all having a go! What's Tom Odell about to eat here? 'Fearne's team.
Oh, I'd fucking shag that.
' A big, fat orange! Let's have a look.
No, it's Tom Odell! THEY LAUGH Who's this twat? 'Holly's team, going to jungle, equal pay.
' He knew before the photo had even come up! It's me.
Let's have a look! There he is! There he is! Who's this twat? 'Fearne's team.
Look at the fucking state of that.
' Fearne's team.
I'm gonna Wild guess, Will.
Let's have a look.
That's correct! It was Halloween, it was Halloween! Hey, who's this twat? 'Fearne's team, I can't see a fucking' Fucking hell fire! Is it Will? Let's have a look.
No, it's Fearne Cotton! LAUGHTER With my arms! My arms look amazing there! KLAXON Oh, there's the klaxon.
That's the end of the buzzer round, the end of this week's Celebrity Juice! I can tell you that the winning team is is Holly's team! THEY CHEER I was Keith Lemon.
if I don't see you through the week, I'll see you through window.
Let's dance! # If I could make you mine If I could make you mine # I would make us shine, Shine, shine forever # If I could be your feather Be your feather # I would find a way To fall into your heart # I would make you mine # I would make us shine I would make us shine, Shine, shine forever.