Arthur (1996) s22e04 Episode Script
Muffy's Car Campaign/Truth or Poll
1
PBS KIDS OPENS
WORLDS OF POSSIBILITIES
FOR ALL CHILDREN
THANKS TO PBS STATIONS
AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU.
Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪
Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪
(laughing)
And I say hey ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen to your
heart, listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪
Get together
and make things better ♪
By working together ♪
It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪
And I say hey ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
Hey!
Hey, D.W.!
Hey!
Whoa
(crash)
(laughing,
talking in background)
I'm throwing it back.
BINKY:
I'm going under.
Oh, houseguests are fine.
Until you can't get them
to leave.
When that happens,
I give a subtle hint.
Ready for a trip
to the Sugar Bowl?
First scoop is on me!
(cheers, laughing)
Or a not-so-subtle hint.
Attention swimmers!
Bailey is standing by
to escort you home.
♪
Please proceed
to the nearest exit.
(grunts)
(laughing)
And if that doesn't work
(beeps)
(water gurgling, kids murmuring)
BINKY:
Hey!
What's the big idea?
Towels are in the pool house!
Try not to drip on the rug.
Bye!
Oh, it's not easy being
the perfect hostess.
But I manage.
FRANCINE:
"Muffy's House Guests."
Whoa!
Sorry!
There she goes!
There who goes?
(ringing bell)
(gasps)
Can you believe it?
Oh, my gosh!
Where's she going?
BRAIN:
She's going to land
any second now.
♪
The rare, endangered
peregrine falcon,
home at last!
You have guests, Muffy.
Huh?
I don't remember inviting
you over.
Not us, them.
(screams)
What are those filthy things
doing?
Nesting!
Well, they can't
nest there.
That's right
outside my window.
Go away!
Shoo! Shoo!
Pretty soon you'll have
four falcons on your roof.
There are two eggs
in that nest.
When do you think
they'll hatch?
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe a month.
A month?!
(gasps):
No way.
Bailey!
Yes, Miss Muffy?
Do you see that nest?
BAILEY:
Ah, yes.
Peregrine falcons.
Fascinating.
Disgusting.
Get rid of them.
Um, Miss Muffy
They're
an endangered species.
You can't touch them.
Oh, I'm not going
to touch them.
Bailey is.
(beeps)
Hello? Is this the Department
of Wildlife Rescue
and Rehabilitation?
Put them someplace better,
Bailey.
Like a tree.
(gasps):
Falcons don't live in trees.
What kind of ridiculous birds
don't live in trees?
Chickens.
Penguins.
Flamingos.
You're missing
my point!
BAILEY:
Falcons migrate
after they hatch.
So if you're patient
(engine revving)
Daddy!
What's the problem,
Muffykins?
MUFFY:
See that horrible nest?
We must get rid of it!
Sure thing.
Bailey, you'll find nets
in the garage.
I really don't think
that's advisable
Muffy, no!
Have you no shame?
My house, my rules!
Those poor, helpless
BRAIN:
Stop!
The federal government
has just confirmed
it's illegal to touch the nest
of a peregrine falcon.
Oh, we'll see about that.
♪
(falcon squawking)
Stop looking at me, birds!
(squawking)
Hm!
(squawking)
There!
Try and see through that!
(screeching)
(screams)
(whimpering)
Morning!
I got no sleep,
thanks to
those noisy birds!
(both gasp)
What just fell on my head?
Don't worry.
My mom says it's good luck
if a bird poops on you.
What?
(screaming)
Get it off!
Hang on.
Those are eggshells.
The chicks must be
hatching.
Wait till Mr. Ratburn hears
about this.
MR. RATBURN:
People with binoculars,
please share
so everyone can see.
Now the second chick
is hatching.
Stay on the driveway, please!
Oh, do not wipe your shoes
on our grass, George.
We cleaned it
just this morning.
Binky!
Get out of there!
Those tulips are
imported!
An amazing exclusive.
Elwood City's first-ever
newly hatched falcons.
The news is here?
This is getting ridiculous.
Daddy!
Ooh, look,
they're feeding!
Isn't regurgitation marvelous?
Daddy!
Those awful birds are
endangering our lawn!
Do something!
ED:
Coming, sweetums.
Time to sell some cars!
♪
Oh!
Welcome to the Crosswire Motors
Bird-stravaganza!
Crosswire's prices are
cheap, cheep, cheep!
Daddy!
You said you'd make
the falcons go away!
Today!
No, sweetums,
I said tomorrow.
Cheap!
But you said it yesterday!
Muffin,
yesterday was yesterday.
Tomorrow is tomorrow.
And today.
Crosswire Motors has
high-flying deals!
It's like Granddaddy Crosswire
always said,
if you want something done,
do it yourself.
(falcons squawking)
MR. RATBURN:
Falcon essays are due
tomorrow.
(kids groan)
MUFFY:
Just tie it
to the top of the car.
(gasps)
(falcons tweeting)
What bird wouldn't love
a glamorous swimming pool?
BRAIN:
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm giving the falcons
a brand-new home.
But why on the car?
Because as soon
as they're inside,
Bailey will drive them
to the park,
which is a much better place
for birds.
And before you say it,
we're not breaking the law
if we don't touch the nest.
They're taking care
of their babies.
They're not going to leave
their nest.
Want to bet?
Watch this.
Here, falcons-falcons!
Come see your new home!
I wouldn't
do that
(screeching)
(screaming)
(Muffy whimpering,
falcon screeching)
(yelling)
(Muffy crying)
BAILEY:
Miss Muffy!
Are you all right?
(crying)
You got mud
on your knee socks.
That never happens
Hm!
♪
Thank you, Bailey.
Since when are you so afraid
of birds?
Afraid of birds?
Me?
Ha!
Crosswires scoff
at fear!
I just don't like them.
I especially don't like them
outside my window.
But why?
They're not bothering you.
Well, ever since
(sighs):
Okay.
When I turned four,
we went to the Mother Goose
Happy Time Pizza Parlor.
("Pop Goes the Weasel" playing)
When do I get cake,
Daddy?
Right now, Muffin!
Look!
Honky honky birthday!
Honky honky day!
BOTH:
A Mother Goosey hug
for you,
honk, honk, honk.
Then we'll send you
on your way!
Honk! Honk! Honky Day!
Honk! Honk! Honky Day!
(honking)
(screaming)
ED:
Muffykins!
Wait!
(in normal voice):
Well, they're not
going to tip us.
Ever since then,
wings and beaks just scare me.
Sounds like a textbook case
of ornithophobia.
Which means
you're scared of birds.
Duh.
Phobias are fascinating,
actually.
And often quite easy to cure.
How?
Familiarity.
You learn about
the thing you fear,
and the fear goes away.
We could start right now.
You can use my
ultra-high-quality binoculars.
Well
if they're
ultra-high-quality.
(chirping)
BRAIN:
Go ahead.
Just look out
the window.
What if the falcons break
through?
They won't.
Besides, only the babies are
home right now.
See?
MUFFY:
Their parents
leave them alone?
BRAIN:
Sometimes,
just for a minute or two.
They're so fuzzy
and wiggly.
Kind of cute, actually.
For birds.
(chirping continues)
Look,
the mom's coming back.
(Muffy squeals)
Don't you want to see
how she feeds them?
(gasps)
Well, that's kind of ew
But also kind of whoa!
What's she doing?!
BRAIN:
She's probably just going
to get more food.
Focus on the cute
babies.
Cute babies.
(shakily):
Hi, cute babies.
Is that a raccoon?
I thought they only
came out at night.
They occasionally day-hunt,
if there's food nearby.
Oh, no, you don't!
Leave those chicks
alone!
♪
Yeah, raccoon,
I'm talking to you!
(chirps)
Go, Muffy!
You'll make a real birder
someday.
I might.
I also might ask Bailey
to find my shoe.
Muffy says
today's the day.
She's been watching
those chicks
for six weeks straight.
Think she has anything special
planned?
(gasps)
ED:
Welcome to
Muffy's Migratory
Emporium!
Binocular rentals, five bucks.
Where will the falcons go
after their chicks fly off?
Possibly to Costa Rica.
Actually, I believe their
migration route will go south
to Tierra del Fuego.
Ooh, look.
It's happening!
(gasps)
Oh, wow.
BRAIN:
They're up and away!
SUE ELLEN:
Look at them go!
(falcons screeching,
crowd cheering)
(sniffling):
Fare-thee-well,
Chester and Fester.
Chester and Fester?
(quietly):
Don't ask.
I bet you'll miss them.
A little.
But
I made them
a Picturegram account, see?
Chester and Fester.
(giggles)
Why? So the birds
can post selfies
from Tierra del Fuego?
No, smarty,
so my fellow birders
can update me
on their progress.
Who are these other birds
you have here?
Oh, the bluebirds,
Azure and Aqua.
And this is Feathers,
the canary I might adopt.
Canaries, of course,
are the only birds
with exclusively
yellow feathers,
and you know how I love
(squawking)
KIDS:
And now, a word from us kids!
My name is Keian,
and today,
we're visiting
an art exhibition.
Muffy, she had a nest
of a falcon living on her roof,
and she wanted it off,
because she was afraid of it.
LUCY:
The idea of this exhibit
is to help people think about
how all of the animals
in our neighborhood matter.
KEIAN:
This gallery is at
Rhode Island School of Design.
LUCY:
My name is Lucy.
Most people call me
Dr. Lucy,
and I take care of animals.
KEIAN:
It's all about making us aware
of animals,
so we're not afraid of,
disgusted by,
or just ignoring animals
in general.
LUCY:
Can you name an animal
that's right here,
in your neighborhood,
that you just saw recently?
A robin bird?
LUCY:
A robin bird, good.
Raccoons.
LUCY:
Raccoons, excellent.
Rats.
LUCY:
Rats, very good.
How can we live
in balance with these animals?
I think people
should just
leave animals alone.
When I say "leave them alone,"
we should leave them alone,
not in a bad way,
but in a good way.
LUCY:
We can leave animals alone
by giving them respect
and space to live,
and that's what this exhibit
is all about.
So this is a piece
I want you to look at.
GIRL:
At day, all the humans come
at the park,
but at night, all the coyotes
like to come out.
LUCY:
So we get to meet the artist.
Her name is Esmé.
ESMÉ:
It means humans and animals
can live in the same world
but also have their own space.
I think that Muffy saw
this kind of bird.
It's a peregrine falcon.
This is the artist,
Peter Green.
GIRL 2:
How did you get up that high?
I was in a window.
I stayed very quiet
and very hidden,
so she could take care
of her babies
without anybody bothering her
at all.
I would like to see
what kind of art you make.
♪
KEIAN:
Every animal is part of nature.
And humans are animals, and
they're also part of nature.
Well, that's the point.
We're animals!
♪
KIDS:
And now, back to "Arthur"!
MAN:
Beet Burger commercial audition,
take one.
Now?
(over-enunciating):
This Beet Bur-ger is
beet-a-rific!
(hissing, device beeps)
This Beet Burger
is beet-a-rific!
(giggling):
Does anybody actually
believe that?
(hissing, device beeps)
This beet is uh
It's
um
We're auditioning
for a commercial.
They want an average kid.
And who's more average than me?
(device beeps)
(clearing throat)
Before I perform,
I would like to do
a vocal warm-up.
Ahem.
"A noise annoys a noisy oyster."
(hissing)
My turn!
Wish me luck!
BUSTER:
"Binky Can't Always Get
What He Wants"
MR. RATBURN:
"Cat Adoption Talent Show."
Very readable.
And the acronym pops!
Nice work,
gentlemen.
Maria, you'll be
the cat wrangler.
Come with me.
(stammering):
Oh, good.
I love cats.
The cat carriers can go
on these tables.
At the appropriate times,
you'll bring a cat onstage
and show it to the audience.
(stammering):
And then someone will adopt it?
That's the plan.
BINKY (breathlessly):
Sorry!
Am I late?
I was pretending
to like beets
for this commercial thingy.
You're not late at all.
You're early, in fact.
You'll be playing music
during the show
to keep the energy up
and to get those cats adopted.
Now, my introduction
goes, like
(in announcer voice):
Ladies and gentlemen!
(playing soft tune)
The Cat Adoption Talent Show is
proud to introduce
(in normal voice):
More energy, Binky.
More pizzazz.
(playing jazzier tune)
Excellent.
Nice and peppy!
(in announcer voice):
Nigel Ratburn!
Thank you!
So much applause!
It sounds like thunder!
(in normal voice):
Laugh, laugh, laugh,
and that's
when you stop playing.
Got it.
(phone ringing)
Is that me?
Hello?
Yes, this is Nigel.
So when
do you hear about
(stammering):
the commercial?
Pretty soon!
I'm so excited,
my ears are sweating.
Well, I'm excited
about being
(stammering):
the cat wrangler.
Oh, yeah?
I love cats.
Have you read
the Magic Cat books?
Nope.
Lighting girl is allergic
to cats
Oh, they're great.
They're about
a magic cat
Maria,
I have to run
a quick errand.
If the people
from the shelter arrive,
have them place the cat carriers
on the tables.
(roaring)
That's "Yes"
in cat language.
Is it okay if I go check
on the commercial?
Fine, just be back
in an hour.
One cheesy-franky for me, Rafi.
So who got the commercial?
FRANCINE:
Don't know.
And Muffy's been talking to them
for ten minutes.
Oh, I bet she got it.
FRANCINE:
Yeah.
She's done commercials
before.
MUFFY:
Despite my superior
credentials,
I was fourth on their list.
Francine was third.
Sue Ellen was second.
Brain, sorry,
you were number nine.
Still, top ten!
What about me?
They said you have
an "earthy" quality
that reminds them
of beets.
(groans):
I knew I wouldn't get it!
No, they liked it!
You got the part!
(kids congratulating
Binky)
Me?
Are you sure?
Wow.
This changes everything.
This beet burger is
beet-a-rific.
(commercial fanfare playing)
(people murmuring excitedly)
SUE ELLEN:
So earthy!
ED:
Would you prefer
the Slingshot XL
or the Sports Rocket 9000?
I'll take both.
Spoken like a true star.
I am pleased to present to you
the Nobel Prize for Acting
in an Advertisement.
(cheers and applause)
BINKY:
I am honored!
(Rafi clears throat)
And hungry.
There's no time to eat.
They need you on set.
Now?
Can't I have one bite?
One.
Though as your manager,
I'd advise against it.
The camera adds
ten pounds.
Why are you suddenly
his manager?
Because without me,
those jackals making the
commercial will eat him alive.
(gulping)
Just like that.
Let's go.
♪
(people talking in background)
Wow.
Someday, they'll say,
"This is where it all started
for Binky Barnes!"
Hey, Clipboard!
I have a star here
in need of a dressing room.
Ah, Binky.
Your fitting is at 5:00 p.m.
We shoot at 6:00,
finish by 9:00.
Tonight?
I can't!
I'm playing clarinet
in the Cat
Is there a problem?
No!
No, no, no,
no problem.
(laughs
nervously)
Would you excuse us?
Cat Adoption is not going
to make us
you famous.
You have to cancel.
Hey, you're my manager,
you do it!
No.
This is your problem,
and you have half an hour
to fix it.
Go! Hurry!
(groans)
♪
(cats meowing)
(breathlessly):
Have you seen Mr. Ratburn?
I have to talk to him.
Congratulations
on the commercial.
How'd you find out?
Muffy's press release.
"Crosswire Talent Agency Inks
Major Commercial Gig."
Wow!
I know.
Her headshot is amazing.
(phone ringing)
Oh, hi, Muffy!
Sure.
(stammering):
Hang on.
MUFFY (on phone):
Why are you there?
The costume
fitting is here!
I had to run
all the way over,
and I can't find Mr. Ratburn!
(whispering):
They're talking
about replacing you!
I'm sending Bailey!
(groans)
You seem troubled.
(stammers):
Do you want to pet
One-Eyed Cornelius
for magic cat luck?
Uh, no.
His loss.
(laughing):
Ow, ow, ow, let go.
(practicing)
Be sure to check
all the ropes.
Ah, Binky.
Have you met the cats?
Oh, um
about tonight
(phone rings, kids gasp)
This infernal thing
again!
Hello?
What do you mean
you can't help tonight?
(gasps)
You made a commitment.
I expect you to keep it.
Well, it's inconsiderate
of you to cancel like this.
My concessionaire just quit
on me
one hour before the show.
Can you believe that?
Well, actually
The lighting girl is allergic
to cats,
the sign is upside down
Gentlemen!
And now no concessions.
If one more thing goes wrong,
I swear my head will explode.
I can't play music
for you tonight.
(gasps)
Thanks, Bailey!
A real live limo!
I could get used to this.
(people cheering outside)
Look, it's Binky!
You're a star!
Smile for your fans!
(cheering, Binky gasps)
You promised, Binky.
You promised!
(cheering fades into distance)
♪
(brakes squeak)
(breathlessly):
I'm here!
Muffy?
Why is Sue Ellen wearing
my costume?
You blew it, kid--
you missed the fitting.
But I'm here now!
My client will not stand
for this!
Muffy,
can you fix this?
I didn't mean
to be late.
Sorry, no time for you now,
but let's do lunch!
(phone button beeps)
If we don't get
guaranteed residuals,
then Sue Ellen walks!
But
(groans)
(engine starting)
Hey!
But!
(thunder rumbling)
Oh.
♪
(splashing)
(meows)
One-eyed Cornelius
likes you.
Go away.
MR. RATBURN:
Binky!
What about
your commercial?
That fell through,
and I
Apology accepted--
we're starting now!
Remember, we're trying to get
at least ten
of these cats adopted,
so energy!
Pizzazz!
MR. RATBURN:
Ladies and gentlemen!
The Cat Adoption Talent Show
is proud to introduce
Nigel Ratburn!
(audience applauds lightly)
(playing slow tune)
Thank you
for that warm welcome.
(laughing nervously):
So much applause,
it sounds like
thunder.
(audience member coughing)
(softly):
Energy, Binky!
Pizzazz!
(continues playing slowly)
(plays discordant note,
grumbling)
(groaning)
Juggling isn't easy,
but what is easy
is adopting a cat
Find Maria during intermission,
and she'll help you fill out
the forms.
(audience murmuring)
(meowing)
(stammering):
You're ruining it!
Your music is
so depressing,
not a single cat has been
adopted!
I can't help it.
My only chance at fame is gone.
(stammering):
Snap out of it.
These cats need homes.
(meowing)
You again?
Get off me.
Wait!
This is just like
in the Magic Cat books.
They're covering you
with a healing
(stammering):
Magic Cat Blanket.
This actually does
make me feel better.
See?
Magic!
Yes!
Now, they've helped you.
Don't you want to help them?
(Binky imitates cat's roar)
(cats meowing)
(gasping, applause)
(gasps)
Truly magical.
But you know
who's also magical?
Mittens here.
Would anyone like to take
Mittens home?
Anyone?
(clarinet playing upbeat tune)
He is a playful
and lively cat
with a mischievous
and loving streak.
Who wants to bring
this scamp home?
You!
Thank you!
(Buster panting)
(audience murmurs excitedly)
Goodbye, Willikers!
(stammers):
Enjoy your new home!
Wow!
17 cats were adopted
tonight.
Your playing really made
the difference.
I'm glad I was able to help.
Especially because
I get to keep Cornelius.
Though I'm sorry
I lost the commercial.
Being a superstar
would've been awesome.
Maybe not.
(panting):
I'm sweating to death in this!
(groans):
Now I can't get up!
Can someone help me?
Hello?
BUSTER:
To watch more "Arthur"
and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,
visit pbskids.org.
You can find "Arthur" books
and lots of other books, too,
at your local library.
♪
PBS KIDS OPENS
WORLDS OF POSSIBILITIES
FOR ALL CHILDREN
THANKS TO PBS STATIONS
AND VIEWERS LIKE YOU.
Every day when you're
walking down the street ♪
Everybody that you meet
has an original point of view ♪
(laughing)
And I say hey ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
You got to listen to your
heart, listen to the beat ♪
Listen to the rhythm,
the rhythm of the street ♪
Open up your eyes,
open up your ears ♪
Get together
and make things better ♪
By working together ♪
It's a simple message,
and it comes from the heart ♪
Believe in yourself,
for that's the place to start ♪
And I say hey ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
If we could learn
to work and play ♪
And get along
with each other ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
Hey!
What a wonderful
kind of day ♪
Hey!
Hey, D.W.!
Hey!
Whoa
(crash)
(laughing,
talking in background)
I'm throwing it back.
BINKY:
I'm going under.
Oh, houseguests are fine.
Until you can't get them
to leave.
When that happens,
I give a subtle hint.
Ready for a trip
to the Sugar Bowl?
First scoop is on me!
(cheers, laughing)
Or a not-so-subtle hint.
Attention swimmers!
Bailey is standing by
to escort you home.
♪
Please proceed
to the nearest exit.
(grunts)
(laughing)
And if that doesn't work
(beeps)
(water gurgling, kids murmuring)
BINKY:
Hey!
What's the big idea?
Towels are in the pool house!
Try not to drip on the rug.
Bye!
Oh, it's not easy being
the perfect hostess.
But I manage.
FRANCINE:
"Muffy's House Guests."
Whoa!
Sorry!
There she goes!
There who goes?
(ringing bell)
(gasps)
Can you believe it?
Oh, my gosh!
Where's she going?
BRAIN:
She's going to land
any second now.
♪
The rare, endangered
peregrine falcon,
home at last!
You have guests, Muffy.
Huh?
I don't remember inviting
you over.
Not us, them.
(screams)
What are those filthy things
doing?
Nesting!
Well, they can't
nest there.
That's right
outside my window.
Go away!
Shoo! Shoo!
Pretty soon you'll have
four falcons on your roof.
There are two eggs
in that nest.
When do you think
they'll hatch?
Maybe tomorrow.
Maybe a month.
A month?!
(gasps):
No way.
Bailey!
Yes, Miss Muffy?
Do you see that nest?
BAILEY:
Ah, yes.
Peregrine falcons.
Fascinating.
Disgusting.
Get rid of them.
Um, Miss Muffy
They're
an endangered species.
You can't touch them.
Oh, I'm not going
to touch them.
Bailey is.
(beeps)
Hello? Is this the Department
of Wildlife Rescue
and Rehabilitation?
Put them someplace better,
Bailey.
Like a tree.
(gasps):
Falcons don't live in trees.
What kind of ridiculous birds
don't live in trees?
Chickens.
Penguins.
Flamingos.
You're missing
my point!
BAILEY:
Falcons migrate
after they hatch.
So if you're patient
(engine revving)
Daddy!
What's the problem,
Muffykins?
MUFFY:
See that horrible nest?
We must get rid of it!
Sure thing.
Bailey, you'll find nets
in the garage.
I really don't think
that's advisable
Muffy, no!
Have you no shame?
My house, my rules!
Those poor, helpless
BRAIN:
Stop!
The federal government
has just confirmed
it's illegal to touch the nest
of a peregrine falcon.
Oh, we'll see about that.
♪
(falcon squawking)
Stop looking at me, birds!
(squawking)
Hm!
(squawking)
There!
Try and see through that!
(screeching)
(screams)
(whimpering)
Morning!
I got no sleep,
thanks to
those noisy birds!
(both gasp)
What just fell on my head?
Don't worry.
My mom says it's good luck
if a bird poops on you.
What?
(screaming)
Get it off!
Hang on.
Those are eggshells.
The chicks must be
hatching.
Wait till Mr. Ratburn hears
about this.
MR. RATBURN:
People with binoculars,
please share
so everyone can see.
Now the second chick
is hatching.
Stay on the driveway, please!
Oh, do not wipe your shoes
on our grass, George.
We cleaned it
just this morning.
Binky!
Get out of there!
Those tulips are
imported!
An amazing exclusive.
Elwood City's first-ever
newly hatched falcons.
The news is here?
This is getting ridiculous.
Daddy!
Ooh, look,
they're feeding!
Isn't regurgitation marvelous?
Daddy!
Those awful birds are
endangering our lawn!
Do something!
ED:
Coming, sweetums.
Time to sell some cars!
♪
Oh!
Welcome to the Crosswire Motors
Bird-stravaganza!
Crosswire's prices are
cheap, cheep, cheep!
Daddy!
You said you'd make
the falcons go away!
Today!
No, sweetums,
I said tomorrow.
Cheap!
But you said it yesterday!
Muffin,
yesterday was yesterday.
Tomorrow is tomorrow.
And today.
Crosswire Motors has
high-flying deals!
It's like Granddaddy Crosswire
always said,
if you want something done,
do it yourself.
(falcons squawking)
MR. RATBURN:
Falcon essays are due
tomorrow.
(kids groan)
MUFFY:
Just tie it
to the top of the car.
(gasps)
(falcons tweeting)
What bird wouldn't love
a glamorous swimming pool?
BRAIN:
What are you doing?
Oh, I'm giving the falcons
a brand-new home.
But why on the car?
Because as soon
as they're inside,
Bailey will drive them
to the park,
which is a much better place
for birds.
And before you say it,
we're not breaking the law
if we don't touch the nest.
They're taking care
of their babies.
They're not going to leave
their nest.
Want to bet?
Watch this.
Here, falcons-falcons!
Come see your new home!
I wouldn't
do that
(screeching)
(screaming)
(Muffy whimpering,
falcon screeching)
(yelling)
(Muffy crying)
BAILEY:
Miss Muffy!
Are you all right?
(crying)
You got mud
on your knee socks.
That never happens
Hm!
♪
Thank you, Bailey.
Since when are you so afraid
of birds?
Afraid of birds?
Me?
Ha!
Crosswires scoff
at fear!
I just don't like them.
I especially don't like them
outside my window.
But why?
They're not bothering you.
Well, ever since
(sighs):
Okay.
When I turned four,
we went to the Mother Goose
Happy Time Pizza Parlor.
("Pop Goes the Weasel" playing)
When do I get cake,
Daddy?
Right now, Muffin!
Look!
Honky honky birthday!
Honky honky day!
BOTH:
A Mother Goosey hug
for you,
honk, honk, honk.
Then we'll send you
on your way!
Honk! Honk! Honky Day!
Honk! Honk! Honky Day!
(honking)
(screaming)
ED:
Muffykins!
Wait!
(in normal voice):
Well, they're not
going to tip us.
Ever since then,
wings and beaks just scare me.
Sounds like a textbook case
of ornithophobia.
Which means
you're scared of birds.
Duh.
Phobias are fascinating,
actually.
And often quite easy to cure.
How?
Familiarity.
You learn about
the thing you fear,
and the fear goes away.
We could start right now.
You can use my
ultra-high-quality binoculars.
Well
if they're
ultra-high-quality.
(chirping)
BRAIN:
Go ahead.
Just look out
the window.
What if the falcons break
through?
They won't.
Besides, only the babies are
home right now.
See?
MUFFY:
Their parents
leave them alone?
BRAIN:
Sometimes,
just for a minute or two.
They're so fuzzy
and wiggly.
Kind of cute, actually.
For birds.
(chirping continues)
Look,
the mom's coming back.
(Muffy squeals)
Don't you want to see
how she feeds them?
(gasps)
Well, that's kind of ew
But also kind of whoa!
What's she doing?!
BRAIN:
She's probably just going
to get more food.
Focus on the cute
babies.
Cute babies.
(shakily):
Hi, cute babies.
Is that a raccoon?
I thought they only
came out at night.
They occasionally day-hunt,
if there's food nearby.
Oh, no, you don't!
Leave those chicks
alone!
♪
Yeah, raccoon,
I'm talking to you!
(chirps)
Go, Muffy!
You'll make a real birder
someday.
I might.
I also might ask Bailey
to find my shoe.
Muffy says
today's the day.
She's been watching
those chicks
for six weeks straight.
Think she has anything special
planned?
(gasps)
ED:
Welcome to
Muffy's Migratory
Emporium!
Binocular rentals, five bucks.
Where will the falcons go
after their chicks fly off?
Possibly to Costa Rica.
Actually, I believe their
migration route will go south
to Tierra del Fuego.
Ooh, look.
It's happening!
(gasps)
Oh, wow.
BRAIN:
They're up and away!
SUE ELLEN:
Look at them go!
(falcons screeching,
crowd cheering)
(sniffling):
Fare-thee-well,
Chester and Fester.
Chester and Fester?
(quietly):
Don't ask.
I bet you'll miss them.
A little.
But
I made them
a Picturegram account, see?
Chester and Fester.
(giggles)
Why? So the birds
can post selfies
from Tierra del Fuego?
No, smarty,
so my fellow birders
can update me
on their progress.
Who are these other birds
you have here?
Oh, the bluebirds,
Azure and Aqua.
And this is Feathers,
the canary I might adopt.
Canaries, of course,
are the only birds
with exclusively
yellow feathers,
and you know how I love
(squawking)
KIDS:
And now, a word from us kids!
My name is Keian,
and today,
we're visiting
an art exhibition.
Muffy, she had a nest
of a falcon living on her roof,
and she wanted it off,
because she was afraid of it.
LUCY:
The idea of this exhibit
is to help people think about
how all of the animals
in our neighborhood matter.
KEIAN:
This gallery is at
Rhode Island School of Design.
LUCY:
My name is Lucy.
Most people call me
Dr. Lucy,
and I take care of animals.
KEIAN:
It's all about making us aware
of animals,
so we're not afraid of,
disgusted by,
or just ignoring animals
in general.
LUCY:
Can you name an animal
that's right here,
in your neighborhood,
that you just saw recently?
A robin bird?
LUCY:
A robin bird, good.
Raccoons.
LUCY:
Raccoons, excellent.
Rats.
LUCY:
Rats, very good.
How can we live
in balance with these animals?
I think people
should just
leave animals alone.
When I say "leave them alone,"
we should leave them alone,
not in a bad way,
but in a good way.
LUCY:
We can leave animals alone
by giving them respect
and space to live,
and that's what this exhibit
is all about.
So this is a piece
I want you to look at.
GIRL:
At day, all the humans come
at the park,
but at night, all the coyotes
like to come out.
LUCY:
So we get to meet the artist.
Her name is Esmé.
ESMÉ:
It means humans and animals
can live in the same world
but also have their own space.
I think that Muffy saw
this kind of bird.
It's a peregrine falcon.
This is the artist,
Peter Green.
GIRL 2:
How did you get up that high?
I was in a window.
I stayed very quiet
and very hidden,
so she could take care
of her babies
without anybody bothering her
at all.
I would like to see
what kind of art you make.
♪
KEIAN:
Every animal is part of nature.
And humans are animals, and
they're also part of nature.
Well, that's the point.
We're animals!
♪
KIDS:
And now, back to "Arthur"!
MAN:
Beet Burger commercial audition,
take one.
Now?
(over-enunciating):
This Beet Bur-ger is
beet-a-rific!
(hissing, device beeps)
This Beet Burger
is beet-a-rific!
(giggling):
Does anybody actually
believe that?
(hissing, device beeps)
This beet is uh
It's
um
We're auditioning
for a commercial.
They want an average kid.
And who's more average than me?
(device beeps)
(clearing throat)
Before I perform,
I would like to do
a vocal warm-up.
Ahem.
"A noise annoys a noisy oyster."
(hissing)
My turn!
Wish me luck!
BUSTER:
"Binky Can't Always Get
What He Wants"
MR. RATBURN:
"Cat Adoption Talent Show."
Very readable.
And the acronym pops!
Nice work,
gentlemen.
Maria, you'll be
the cat wrangler.
Come with me.
(stammering):
Oh, good.
I love cats.
The cat carriers can go
on these tables.
At the appropriate times,
you'll bring a cat onstage
and show it to the audience.
(stammering):
And then someone will adopt it?
That's the plan.
BINKY (breathlessly):
Sorry!
Am I late?
I was pretending
to like beets
for this commercial thingy.
You're not late at all.
You're early, in fact.
You'll be playing music
during the show
to keep the energy up
and to get those cats adopted.
Now, my introduction
goes, like
(in announcer voice):
Ladies and gentlemen!
(playing soft tune)
The Cat Adoption Talent Show is
proud to introduce
(in normal voice):
More energy, Binky.
More pizzazz.
(playing jazzier tune)
Excellent.
Nice and peppy!
(in announcer voice):
Nigel Ratburn!
Thank you!
So much applause!
It sounds like thunder!
(in normal voice):
Laugh, laugh, laugh,
and that's
when you stop playing.
Got it.
(phone ringing)
Is that me?
Hello?
Yes, this is Nigel.
So when
do you hear about
(stammering):
the commercial?
Pretty soon!
I'm so excited,
my ears are sweating.
Well, I'm excited
about being
(stammering):
the cat wrangler.
Oh, yeah?
I love cats.
Have you read
the Magic Cat books?
Nope.
Lighting girl is allergic
to cats
Oh, they're great.
They're about
a magic cat
Maria,
I have to run
a quick errand.
If the people
from the shelter arrive,
have them place the cat carriers
on the tables.
(roaring)
That's "Yes"
in cat language.
Is it okay if I go check
on the commercial?
Fine, just be back
in an hour.
One cheesy-franky for me, Rafi.
So who got the commercial?
FRANCINE:
Don't know.
And Muffy's been talking to them
for ten minutes.
Oh, I bet she got it.
FRANCINE:
Yeah.
She's done commercials
before.
MUFFY:
Despite my superior
credentials,
I was fourth on their list.
Francine was third.
Sue Ellen was second.
Brain, sorry,
you were number nine.
Still, top ten!
What about me?
They said you have
an "earthy" quality
that reminds them
of beets.
(groans):
I knew I wouldn't get it!
No, they liked it!
You got the part!
(kids congratulating
Binky)
Me?
Are you sure?
Wow.
This changes everything.
This beet burger is
beet-a-rific.
(commercial fanfare playing)
(people murmuring excitedly)
SUE ELLEN:
So earthy!
ED:
Would you prefer
the Slingshot XL
or the Sports Rocket 9000?
I'll take both.
Spoken like a true star.
I am pleased to present to you
the Nobel Prize for Acting
in an Advertisement.
(cheers and applause)
BINKY:
I am honored!
(Rafi clears throat)
And hungry.
There's no time to eat.
They need you on set.
Now?
Can't I have one bite?
One.
Though as your manager,
I'd advise against it.
The camera adds
ten pounds.
Why are you suddenly
his manager?
Because without me,
those jackals making the
commercial will eat him alive.
(gulping)
Just like that.
Let's go.
♪
(people talking in background)
Wow.
Someday, they'll say,
"This is where it all started
for Binky Barnes!"
Hey, Clipboard!
I have a star here
in need of a dressing room.
Ah, Binky.
Your fitting is at 5:00 p.m.
We shoot at 6:00,
finish by 9:00.
Tonight?
I can't!
I'm playing clarinet
in the Cat
Is there a problem?
No!
No, no, no,
no problem.
(laughs
nervously)
Would you excuse us?
Cat Adoption is not going
to make us
you famous.
You have to cancel.
Hey, you're my manager,
you do it!
No.
This is your problem,
and you have half an hour
to fix it.
Go! Hurry!
(groans)
♪
(cats meowing)
(breathlessly):
Have you seen Mr. Ratburn?
I have to talk to him.
Congratulations
on the commercial.
How'd you find out?
Muffy's press release.
"Crosswire Talent Agency Inks
Major Commercial Gig."
Wow!
I know.
Her headshot is amazing.
(phone ringing)
Oh, hi, Muffy!
Sure.
(stammering):
Hang on.
MUFFY (on phone):
Why are you there?
The costume
fitting is here!
I had to run
all the way over,
and I can't find Mr. Ratburn!
(whispering):
They're talking
about replacing you!
I'm sending Bailey!
(groans)
You seem troubled.
(stammers):
Do you want to pet
One-Eyed Cornelius
for magic cat luck?
Uh, no.
His loss.
(laughing):
Ow, ow, ow, let go.
(practicing)
Be sure to check
all the ropes.
Ah, Binky.
Have you met the cats?
Oh, um
about tonight
(phone rings, kids gasp)
This infernal thing
again!
Hello?
What do you mean
you can't help tonight?
(gasps)
You made a commitment.
I expect you to keep it.
Well, it's inconsiderate
of you to cancel like this.
My concessionaire just quit
on me
one hour before the show.
Can you believe that?
Well, actually
The lighting girl is allergic
to cats,
the sign is upside down
Gentlemen!
And now no concessions.
If one more thing goes wrong,
I swear my head will explode.
I can't play music
for you tonight.
(gasps)
Thanks, Bailey!
A real live limo!
I could get used to this.
(people cheering outside)
Look, it's Binky!
You're a star!
Smile for your fans!
(cheering, Binky gasps)
You promised, Binky.
You promised!
(cheering fades into distance)
♪
(brakes squeak)
(breathlessly):
I'm here!
Muffy?
Why is Sue Ellen wearing
my costume?
You blew it, kid--
you missed the fitting.
But I'm here now!
My client will not stand
for this!
Muffy,
can you fix this?
I didn't mean
to be late.
Sorry, no time for you now,
but let's do lunch!
(phone button beeps)
If we don't get
guaranteed residuals,
then Sue Ellen walks!
But
(groans)
(engine starting)
Hey!
But!
(thunder rumbling)
Oh.
♪
(splashing)
(meows)
One-eyed Cornelius
likes you.
Go away.
MR. RATBURN:
Binky!
What about
your commercial?
That fell through,
and I
Apology accepted--
we're starting now!
Remember, we're trying to get
at least ten
of these cats adopted,
so energy!
Pizzazz!
MR. RATBURN:
Ladies and gentlemen!
The Cat Adoption Talent Show
is proud to introduce
Nigel Ratburn!
(audience applauds lightly)
(playing slow tune)
Thank you
for that warm welcome.
(laughing nervously):
So much applause,
it sounds like
thunder.
(audience member coughing)
(softly):
Energy, Binky!
Pizzazz!
(continues playing slowly)
(plays discordant note,
grumbling)
(groaning)
Juggling isn't easy,
but what is easy
is adopting a cat
Find Maria during intermission,
and she'll help you fill out
the forms.
(audience murmuring)
(meowing)
(stammering):
You're ruining it!
Your music is
so depressing,
not a single cat has been
adopted!
I can't help it.
My only chance at fame is gone.
(stammering):
Snap out of it.
These cats need homes.
(meowing)
You again?
Get off me.
Wait!
This is just like
in the Magic Cat books.
They're covering you
with a healing
(stammering):
Magic Cat Blanket.
This actually does
make me feel better.
See?
Magic!
Yes!
Now, they've helped you.
Don't you want to help them?
(Binky imitates cat's roar)
(cats meowing)
(gasping, applause)
(gasps)
Truly magical.
But you know
who's also magical?
Mittens here.
Would anyone like to take
Mittens home?
Anyone?
(clarinet playing upbeat tune)
He is a playful
and lively cat
with a mischievous
and loving streak.
Who wants to bring
this scamp home?
You!
Thank you!
(Buster panting)
(audience murmurs excitedly)
Goodbye, Willikers!
(stammers):
Enjoy your new home!
Wow!
17 cats were adopted
tonight.
Your playing really made
the difference.
I'm glad I was able to help.
Especially because
I get to keep Cornelius.
Though I'm sorry
I lost the commercial.
Being a superstar
would've been awesome.
Maybe not.
(panting):
I'm sweating to death in this!
(groans):
Now I can't get up!
Can someone help me?
Hello?
BUSTER:
To watch more "Arthur"
and play games with all
the Elwood City friends,
visit pbskids.org.
You can find "Arthur" books
and lots of other books, too,
at your local library.
♪