Doctor Who (1963) s23e05 Episode Script

Members of the court, we have just witnessed a typical glorious escapade of the Doctor.
Madam! I ask that the court protect me from the abuse of the Brickyard here.
How pathetic and juvenile are your attempts at humour.
Gentlemen, may I remind you this is a court of law? Not a debating society for maladjusted, psychotic sociopaths.
You will both conduct yourselves in an orderly manner and show proper respect for the judicial procedure.
I hope I make myself very clear.
And, Doctor, the prosecuting counsel's title is the Valeyard.
Not the brickyard, backyard, knacker's yard or any other kind of yard.
Again, do I make myself clear? Piercingly and irrefutably so, madam.
Proceed.
As I was saying, we have just witnessed a sequence in the Doctor's history which illustrated perfectly his almost gleeful pleasure in interfering in the development of alien life forms.
-I object! -Sit down and shut up! Thank you, Sagacity.
Sagacity? You sycophant.
Since when has that been a form of address used in a Gallifreyan court of law? I'm simply showing respect to our learned inquisitor.
An attitude I much approve.
Well, you would, wouldn't you? Sagacity! Doctor! Continue.
I should now like to present the Doctor's next frightening adventure.
In fact, the one in which he was engaged when removed from time and brought to this court.
-Doctor? -What about the box? The box? And the fact that Earth was two light years away from its original position? That is not relevant to this segment of evidence.
It was relevant enough to be bleeped from the Matrix record.
The Valeyard is quite right.
That is a matter for the High Council to adjudicate upon.
It is not the business of this trial.
If we may see, from the Doctor's arrival on the planet Thoros Beta.
fourth year, seventh month, third day.
Whoa, far out.
Are you quite sure this is the planet you aimed for? Mm-hmm.
Fancy a swim? In that goo? No thanks.
It's a pretty colour.
It's certainly an amazing one.
For a sea, that is.
Is that this planet's moon? That's its twin planet, Thoros Alpha.
Come along, then.
-I'll just fetch my galoshes.
-So much fuss over a little water.
No, but pink water.
Are you frightened it might clash with what you're wearing? No, I'm more concerned I might clash with what lives in it.
Oh, you aren't gonna come to any harm.
It's quite safe.
As long as you don't hang about.
Are you really offering this inconsequential silliness as evidence? The Doctor has a point.
Surely we could join this segment at a more relevant place.
My apologies for wasting the court's time, Sagacity.
I can't get over how weird this place is.
Yes, I suppose it is.
Difficult to believe there's any industry here.
Yet this was manufactured here somewhere.
It appears to be multi-functional.
Varying field of energy projection.
Quite advanced.
Doctor! It's more advanced than I thought.
It seems it can liquefy as well as stun.
Are you sure that thing was made here? Peri, a Warlord of Thordon wouldn't use his dying words to lie to us.
Remember what he said.
''Thoros Beta.
Send more beings that kill.
'' Beings that kill wasn't the only thing he had on his mind.
Dirty old Warlord.
Glad we left that place when we did.
The thing is, how did a bunch of skull-crackers like the Warlords come to own such a device? Does it really matter how they blow each other to bits? Matter? Of course it matters.
An advanced culture manipulating the destinies of a less-developed civilisation? If that's what's going on here, it's got to be stopped.
-By us? -Who else is there? Who else is there? Your very words condemn you, Doctor.
-Show your arrogance.
-Sorry? You feel only you have the right to meddle.
Anyone else with that ambition, according to you, should be stopped.
Well, you'll soon discover I made the right decision.
You know, I've never seen a tide go out so quickly.
-Do you think it's to do with that? -I shouldn't think so.
There must be some sort of mechanical tide control.
Aha! And I wouldn't be at all surprised if it was housed in here.
Well, why would they want to control the tide? Well Why not? Come on.
Do you think this wise, Doctor? My dear girl, if I stopped to question the wisdom of my actions, I'd never have left Gallifrey.
Sometimes I wish you hadn't.
Doctor, look.
Another death, Doctor? The CD phaser discharged accidentally.
Re-run the struggle.
See for yourselves.
No need.
There are clearer examples of your guilt to come.
Why did it attack us? I don't know.
Perhaps it was because of that.
Look, Doctor, I know how you hate me stating the obvious, but don't you think we should get away from here? That klaxon's bound to attract someone's attention.
Mmm, yeah.
Just a moment.
This is incredible.
Such sophistication.
Well, what is it? As I suspected, a device for extracting energy from the sea.
Something your planet had the technology to do long before its fossil fuels ran out, but they didn't bother.
This is just an auxiliary console, though.
The main control room must be somewhere else.
That thing must have been brighter than it looked.
Oh, I doubt if that could even tie its own shoelaces.
It may have operated this console, but it certainly didn't build it.
-Oh, dear.
-Yes.
Oh, dear.
-Murderers.
-That thing attacked us.
The Raak was not programmed to attack.
You must have threatened him.
Fetch a stretcher.
All we did was land here.
-Where is your submersible? -Further along the shore.
You are part of Crozier's new group? Oh, yes.
Yes, of course.
Absolutely.
There will have to be an inquiry about this death.
-We will help in any way we can.
-The Raak was proud of his upgrading.
Happy to be in service to the Mentors.
I'm sure he was.
It's a pity he lost his head and decided to attack us.
It was an accident.
Take him to the dissection lab.
There must have been a regression.
They'll want to know why.
You will come with us.
We will take you to Crozier's laboratory.
When he has verified your identities, you will be released.
Oh, absolutely.
Security is very important.
-I'm glad you agree.
-Yeah.
If you don't mind? No.
Of course.
Can't be too careful.
Very good.
Absolutely right.
Let us pacify the brain of this barbarian.
You must wait.
Crozier cannot be disturbed.
Oh.
What a pity, huh? Yes.
Can't wait to see good old Crozier.
Old? He is young for a man of science.
Perhaps you should describe Crozier for me.
Crozier.
Well Youngish.
Look, shouldn't we attend to the Raak first? Why? He is dead.
Well, I think it just winked at Peri.
-Oh, cheek.
-No accounting for alien taste.
-He is dead.
-Not necessarily.
Look, may I examine him? You can trust me, I am a doctor.
Like Crozier? Yes, just like young Crozier.
Nurse, could you prepare to apply the skedaddle test? Are you sure that's wise? Come round here.
I think the alternative could be much worse.
Hold that, will you? Right.
Ready to apply the test, sister? More than ready, Doctor.
On the count of three, then.
One, two, three.
Let them go.
There's nothing down there.
Only the Lukoser.
We'll wait here for a minute and then pick up their bodies.
What's that? Bone.
From some animal I don't recognise.
Snapped off.
Sharp, jagged edges.
Doctor, let's go back to the Tardis, huh? What's that? Indeed.
There.
-It's a man.
-Alone.
Doctor, he's chained.
-Are you okay? -Yes, yes, I am now.
It also explains how the tooth marks come to be on this.
What is he? Looks like a man, acts like a wolf.
Lycanthropy? But how? Good boy.
Nice dog.
Nice man.
Can you help us? We're wondering if you Be careful! Help me Doctor, he's crying.
Help me No one following.
Yet that is.
We must go back.
He asked for help.
-Not yet.
-He said, ''Help me.
'' Doctor, what's going on here? Sea monsters upgraded to operate machinery.
A wolf-man who begged for help.
Let's find out.
Not yet.
I have a feeling there are more important considerations first.
Who could keep a creature in such torment? Who indeed? Someone's coming.
-Did you? -I did.
That explains the CD phaser sales to Thordon.
Sil would sell anything from bows and arrows to planet disintegrators.
Why is he here? And those others like him? Well, they live here.
Thoros Beta's Sil's home planet.
Didn't you know? Only because you didn't tell me, Doctor.
Didn't I? You know I'd never want to come within light years of that creep again.
Last time he tried to turn me into a bird woman.
How could I forget? It cost me a fortune in birdseed.
I want out.
And I mean it.
Come on.
Mustn't lose track of your friend Sil.
Do you relish danger, Doctor? -Not particularly.
-Yet you seem to court it so obviously.
Well, even a nervous Time Lord must appear to act with competence at all times.
At the risk of his companion's life? And his own sometimes.
Already the unfortunate Peri has survived a struggle with the Raak, escaped from the guards.
And who, Doctor, was sent to examine the wolf-man? Well Who went into danger first? Well, she just happened to be the nearest.
Your assistant, as usual.
Sagacity, I have calculated on a random Matrix sample that the Doctor's companions have been placed in danger twice as often as the Doctor.
Well, there have been many companions but only one me.
What is the point you're attempting to make, Valeyard? That you remember such information when judgement is considered on taking the Doctor's life and all future regenerations.
It is noted.
This is the most ridiculous, preposterous travesty of a trial since the so-called witches of Doctor! You have been warned about your behaviour.
Let us proceed.
Must you bring your lunch in here? I do not wish to miss a moment of your infinite capacity to generate profit for Thoros Beta, Magnificence.
Marsh minnow, Magnificence? This Thordon world.
The Krontep warriors have succeeded in subduing the massed hordes of the Tonkonp Empire.
We must negotiate with the Krontep King.
Usual contracts, development loans.
Some limited scientific advance.
What is the position regarding King Yrcanos? He is still being persuaded by Crozier to cooperate happily.
I think that is the word.
Blood.
Death.
Terror.
Kill.
Increase the PULD pulse immediately.
-Why is the pacification not working? -It will.
I'll add a few more mills of power.
Yrcanos is a barbarian king.
He knows only one thing, how to fight.
Therefore he is fighting our attempts to give him peace and tranquillity.
Scum.
The more stupid the subject, the longer it takes.
Now, Matrona, the ganglions, as you noticed, have not recovered from the lesions.
Yes, but why detach both junctions of the You are forbidden! What happened? An accident? No, sir.
Murder.
In the event of a major discovery, their lease from the Thordonians will be for 30 years at a royalty rate of 40 percent to us.
That should keep you in marsh minnows for a while, Sil.
How lovely, Magnificence.
-They weren't hanging about.
-Neither did they look very pleased.
Well, perhaps they've had some bad news.
Hmm.
What is next on the agenda? Ah! Oh, my head.
It will soon pass.
The pressure gets worse each time.
Something must be done or soon you will be called Magnificence.
Long may that day be postponed, great Kiv.
You must not enter the sacred Commerce Room while profit is in progress.
-There's trouble.
-Concerning what? -My hopes of saving him.
-Show more respect to the Magnificence! -What has happened? -The Raak is dead.
-Killed by intruders.
-They claimed he attacked them.
Then manufacture another one.
That's not easily done, nor is it the point of my concern.
-The Raak was not aggressive.
-So? If the Raak, unprovoked, did attack, then he might revert genetically.
Until I know, until I can question the strangers in detail, I cannot guarantee the success of your transference, my lord.
You must relieve my suffering! We have hopes the radical treatment will succeed this time, my lord.
So much depends on the life of Lord Kiv.
The making of mega-wealth, the funding for your work.
I must know that success will be certain.
You said that last time! Where are these strangers? Escaped.
I've sent every bearer and guard searching after them.
I trust this is not an excuse for delay, Mr Crozier.
You know if the experiment on my person is unsuccessful, you will die.
I accept that.
Take charge, Sil.
I will be dead as that Raak if I wait for them to find the intruders.
At once, before I perish! Then where will you be, eh? Dead.
No, worse than that.
Poor.
Oh, my head.
Urgh! Urgh! -He's alive.
-Not necessarily.
Hmm.
-Aha.
-What is it? A brain impulse there.
Oh.
I see.
Well, we can't have that.
Doctor.
How nice to see a familiar face again.
Doctor and Ah, yes, your revoltingly ugly assistant.
Age has not improved you since Varos.
From you, that's a compliment.
What can we do for you, Sil? Tell us why you had to kill our most promising experiment.
The Raak.
-It attacked us.
-I doubt that very much.
Doctor, we have the means to instil cooperation.
There's the technology to alter how brains think.
Would you like to try the helmet on for size? Not just now, thanks.
But I insist, Doctor.
Our warrior king must have completed his advancement cycle.
You must replace him.
So we may coax the truth from your devious brain.
-I am sufficiently advanced already -Silence! Or you will be obliterated.
Now, the Raak didn't attack you, did he? Yes, it did.
Can you use the helmet to extract the truth of what happened? I've never tried.
It could be fatal, used as a means of interrogation.
The Doctor won't mind donating his sanity to the advancement of science, will you, Doctor?