Doctor Who (1963) s25e11 Episode Script

Now welcome, folks, and I’m sure you’d like to know, We’re at the start of one big circus show.
There are acts that are cool and acts that will amaze, Some acts that are scary and some acts will daze.
Acts of all kind, you can count on that From folks that fly to disappearing There’s lots of surprises for the family At the Greatest Show in the Galaxy So many strange surprises I’m prepared to bet Whatever you’ve seen before, you ain’t seen nothing yet.
- Professor? - Yes.
Where’s my nitro-nine? Isn’t it in your rucksack? Yes, it was my rucksack.
Interesting question.
Things don’t just vanish.
No.
What's that peculiar noise? What peculiar noise? I don't hear any peculiar How extraordinary! It’s materialized inside the TARDIS.
Just the kind of ting you’d expect to see in this part of the Galaxy.
Was that just as you’d expect too, Professor? Not entirely.
Yes, it’s Festival Time at the Psychic Circus: the Greatest Show in the Galaxy! So why not come along and have the time of your life with the non-stop action of its glittering circus ring? I just don’t believe it.
Junk mail.
We used to get mounds of the stuff through the letter-box.
And now you’re being bombarded with it inside the TARDIS.
Junk mail gets everywhere.
Whether you want to watch or compete, there’s a great time for you on the planet Segonax.
The planet has easy access via our special polyportable landing base Ace, I thought you’d have been interested in going to the circus.
Nah.
Kids stuff.
I went once.
They didn’t even have any tigers.
It was naff and it was boring.
Apart from the clowns, of course.
You found them funny? No, creepy.
I do think you’re being unfair.
Many of the acts require a great deal of skill and courage.
You should appreciate that.
Anyway, I rather fancy entering the Festival talent contest myself.
Oh no, not the spoons again.
Scared? What? Scared to come to the Psychic Circus? No.
Scared to take part? No.
Course not.
Well, if you are, then go ahead, ignore me.
I quite understand.
I don’t believe it, Junk mail that talks back.
Shall we throw it away then and forget about it? After all, I’m sure the Psychic Circus isn’t scary at all.
It’s just a device to get us to go.
OK, you win, junkbox.
I’m not scared of anything.
Come on, we can’t give up now.
They’ll catch us, I know it.
They’ll catch us and drag us back to the Circus.
Bellboy, please.
You promised.
You know it’s down to us now.
We’re the only ones left to fight.
Come on! Flowerchild, look, your kites, your beautiful kites.
So this is Segonax? Not quite the green and pleasant land we've led to expect.
Still! I’ve heard good reports of the friendliness of the natives.
I don't see where’s this landing base, Professor.
Oh, I expect that’s for those not fortunate enough to possess a TARDIS.
So now where? Ask for directions Over there.
Good afternoon.
I'm the Doctor and this is my friend Ace.
What sort of costume do you call that? I don’t understand.
And hers is no better.
We don’t want your type round here.
And what type might that be? Weirdos.
You can tell them at a glance, you know.
Friendly natives, eh, Professor? Let's not be hasty.
There’s no choice.
No.
The kites will track us forever.
One of us must get there.
I want you to have this.
I’ll wait here a while.
Then I’ll take the long route.
That should draw them after me.
No silly risks now.
Come on, go on.
Got've lost them.
I thought not.
Come on kites.
Find me.
Do we really have to eat this muck? It’s elementary diplomacy.
She apparently thinks we are a pair of undesirable intergalactic hippies.
We have to convince her that we are nice, clean-living people who eat lots of fresh fruit and pay our way.
Paying good money for this muck is daylight robbery.
Do you expect me to finish this? Every last bite.
After all, we want the charming lady to tell us how to find this Circus, don’t we? Delicious, madam, quite delicious.
Come on, over here! It’s me, Bellboy! That’s who you’re looking for, isn’t it? Where you are ***** for? Come on.
More? Er, no.
It was delicious but extremely filling.
I am sure you will have gathered, dear lady, that we are not the sort of hobbledehoys and vagabonds you take such exception to.
Indeed, as I said when I am known as the Doctor.
Some people’ll call themselves anything.
Be that as it may, madam, we would appreciate your help.
We are looking for Here comes another one of your lot! Look at that ace bike, Professor! Need a hand? I reckon it could be a stuck valve.
Get lost! It’s a great bike.
Go on your way before I get angry Well, if you don’t want to save yourself some time it’s up to you.
Course, it could be a valve spring.
I thought I told you to get lost! Or I’ll do something horrible to your ears.
Suit yourself.
And I hope your big end goes.
He’ll be going there.
They all go there.
Go where? The Psychic Circus.
All the riff-raff go there.
Infernal Extraterrestrials like him.
Monopods from Lelex.
Doctors.
I don’t understand.
You’re saying he’s going to the Circus? Of Course.
Anybody who’s up to no good goes there.
We locals wouldn’t touch it with a bargepole.
Is it far, this, er, appalling spectacle? Miles and miles.
Why do you think that lout over there has got that noisy monstrosity polluting the countryside.
Here, you aren’t thinking of going there, are you? No, no, the very idea.
But if you could just excuse me.
Ace, any chance of a lift, do you think? Worth a try, I suppose.
He doesn’t look after that bike, you know.
If he’d let me Yes, yes, Ace, never mind.
Let’s just concentrate on getting a lift to the Circus, shall we? Excuse me, if you’re going to the Circus, I wondered if you might give us a lift and Do you want me doing something unpleasant to your face? Not really.
No one rides with me! For I am Nord, the Vandal of the Roads.
Hold tight, please.
Well, there's nothing lke a nice walk in the countryside.
And this is nothing like a nice walk in the countryside.
Well it could be worse, we could be carrying that heavy rucksack of yours.
Yeah, what about my rucksack, what's it to do with Look out! He seemed to be in rather a hurry.
Looking for customers.
Well, I wouldn’t be too chuffed if I kept getting visitors like Nord the Vandal, I suppose.
That’s true.
But then you’d hardly expect a hard case like him to be going to a circus anyway.
Perhaps he got conned Like I was.
Something evil has happened here.
I can feel it.
To do with the Circus? Who knows Doctor, look.
I was probably the first person to have visited that valley for several millennia at the very least.
So something like this, which to the ordinary dull old stop-at-home might seem quite extraordinary, is just run-of the-mill as far, as I’m concerned.
Still, since you’ve never Captain.
Greetings.
I am the Doctor.
And this is my friend Ace.
And I am Captain Cook, the eminent intergalactic explorer.
You have no doubt heard of me.
And I am Mags.
Hey, Whiteface! Whiteface! Where do I apply for the part at the gig for the Psychic Circus? Mmmm, delicious.
My own special blend, of course.
I take it everywhere.
I bet you’ll never guess the blend, Doctor.
Well, I could be wrong, of course, but isn’t it from the Groz Valley on Melagophon? Good, very good, Doctor.
I'll give you a hand! ‘Were you ever on Melagophon, Doctor? The Frozen Pits of Overod are worth seeing, of course, though much overrated I feel.
All right for the trainee explorer but old hands like myself need something a bit more exotic.
Why come here then? - Sorry, old boy? - I said, why bother to come here? Well, I’m told the Psychic Circus is quite an interesting little show, particularly at this time when everybody turns up to compete in the Festival.
Besides, she wanted to come.
You always travel together? Of late, yes.
I found her on the planet Vulpana.
Between you and me, old boy, she’s rather an unusual little specimen.
Of what? That would be telling, old boy, wouldn’t it? How about yours? I don’t think of Ace as a specimen of anything.
Keep your shirt on, doctor.
After all, everything’s a specimen of something.
Even that robot head over there.
What do you reckon, Professor? I imagine it was buried for some good reason.
Well, maybe we’ll find out what that reason was, Eh, Professor? Quick! Help, Captain.
Remarkable! Don't often see one like that, do you? I've seen ones like that often enough, thank you very much! - Do something! - I've got it! Well, well.
More tea, perhaps? Excuse me.
You can’t lie down there, you know.
At last.
Where’s the girl? She should have reached there by now.
If she has, she’ll regret it.
Is there no end to you weirdos? It’s obviously some sort of shrine.
I saw one much like this on Dioscuros once.
Shrine or not.
I can’t help feeling there’s something sinister here.
I wonder that you manage to explore anything.
Everything seems to alarm you.
Not everything.
But I trust my instincts.
As you may recall, they are not always wrong.
Oh, come on, Professor.
Let's explore.
I agree with your young "friend".
Let’s explore.
Hey, look at this! Well, well, well, isn't it quite something! Wonder if it still goes.
- Yes.
- Ace, I wouldn't Any more fares, please? Any more fares? No standing inside Hold tight please Eh, I see.
Steady on, old chap.
Fares please Hold on tight Ding ding! You’ve got it wrong, old boy.
He’s paying the fares, not me.
Any more fares? I would like a ticket, actually.
I’d like a there and back, off-peak, weekend break, supersaver, senior citizen, bi-monthly season with optional luggage facilities and a free cup of coffee in a plastic cup, a crocodile sandwitch and make it snappy, you metallic moron! If I might take a look.
.
at that ticket machine of yours? Ah yes.
Just the ticket.
What have you done? Not nearly enough.
We need him! He'll have to be punished.
Morgana.
Flowerchild Flowerchild Where is she? He still thinks she may have escaped.
Listen, Bellboy Save your breath.
Take him back into the ring.
He knows what’s waiting there.
No no.
What if a visitor arrives now? If they come, they come.
The trail's fully gone.
Sight's like this are every day.
Some people just can’t bear to be proved wrong.
He’d have let tin-head do you in.
Let us not bear grudges.
He can’t help being a pompous, selfish, selfsatisfied meddler.
Mags might be OK if he wasn’t around.
If a little odd.
Doctor, look! You like that? Yes.
Well, if there’s no keeper then the finder has it.
Ace! What do you reckon happened here, Professor? Were the people in this bus attacked on their way to the Circus? Presumably.
Over attacked them, destroyed them and wrecked their bus.
So the evil you felt, was that the bus conductor? Yes, I think so.
Anyway, whoever left him on guard's gone now Perhaps they went millennia ago.
So it’s got nothing to do with the Circus being scary? I’m afraid I think not.
That was all just good publicity.
Pity.
Might have made more interesting.
Are we still going there? Oh yes.
I feel in just the right mood.
And, after two brushes with death in one day, I rather hoped you might be too.
If you say so, Doctor.
Doctor, eh? So you can remember It's like one of my trips to Hello, young man! Just arrived from the landing port? That's right! Oh, you've no idea what a relief for me is to see such a nice, respectable young man! After the riff-raff I usually have to deal with.
Can I help you at all? Yes please! Could you tell me the way to the Psychic Circus? The show's is about to start.
I've seen enough already.
Greetings, my good woman.
This is the Psychic Circus, isn’t it? Yes, that’s right.
Sounds like things are going well.
Come on, Mags.
But But what? You can’t go in just now, you see.
There’s a speciality act being rehearsed and All the better, my dear.
You don’t understand.
Thank you, my good fellow! Not as far as we feared, look.
I still think clowns are creepy.
Nonsense.
Listen! They're having a good time in there! Don’t you hear it? Hear what? That screaming.
I can't hear anything.
I was sure I heard I think you’re just making excuses, Ace, because you don’t like circuses.
No, no, it’s not that.
Well, are we going in or aren’t we?