Top Gear (2002) s27e00 Episode Script
Nepal Special
1 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Lovely! Lovely! Hello! Season's greetings, and welcome to a Top Gear Christmas special.
We thought, "It's Christmas.
Surely the producers are going to treat us? "Supercars around the Caribbean, a pair of Cuban heels for Chris?" But no.
They decided we'd be exploring urban transport.
See, with more and more of the world's population living in cities, they decided it was vitally important that we found the ultimate tough city car.
So they gave us each six grand and told us to buy the best second-hand example we could find.
But, obviously, they didn't send us to London, Paris or New York.
No, that would have been far too simple, Paddy.
They sent us and our city cars to one of the toughest landscapes on Earth.
Massive mountains, giant gorges, properly scary roads.
No, no, not Bolton.
They sent us to a place called Kathmandu in Nepal.
CHRIS: Nepal.
An ancient, mystical land.
A land that's home to the world's highest peaks, and now also to a very important Top Gear test.
We'd been told to meet in the heart of Nepal's capital, Kathmandu.
A million people crammed into a valley in the Himalayan foothills, it is one of the most densely populated and congested cities anywhere on the planet.
The perfect place, then, to introduce our ultimate city cars.
And what do you want for the perfect city car? You want the Peugeot 106 Rallye.
This little beauty cost me three-and-a-half grand, which, considering this is a classic hot hatch, that's a bit of a bargain.
It's 100 brake horsepower, 1,300 engine - doesn't sound a lot, but trust me, this car's about as light as an empty bag of crisps.
It's nippy, it's agile.
It's everything you want from the ultimate city car.
HORN TOOTS What a place HORN TOOTS What is? Apologies, Kathmandu.
Come on! No Yes.
The Renault 4 what a beauty, Paddy! Come on! This is the ultimate city car.
It's simple, it's tough, it's perfect.
I mean, the world's now crazy for little SUVs, you know, - hatchbacks that are a bit raised up.
- Yeah.
This was doing that back in the '60s with elegant simplicity.
- I mean, look at it.
It's a beauty.
- Listen It's a lovely little car.
It's got a bit of personality, but people can walk faster than this car round the city.
Normally, at this point, I climb into the terrible decision you've made.
- Howeverwow! - Yes.
I've done very well.
I had sleepless nights over those, reading about them in Performance Car magazine.
So was I, when I was a young lad.
How much was this? - Five grand.
- What?! HORN TOOTS - It's a classic.
- Hang on Hi, Paddy! City car.
What's that? - It's the Hulas Mustang.
- What? - I've never heard of one.
- You wouldn't.
All you need to know - that is built in Nepal.
Excuse me.
Let me consult the oracle.
What is it? I've no idea.
It doesn't look like any Mustang I've seen before.
I've gone for a local beer.
You wouldn't go to Nepal - and drink Carling, would you? - Well, he would.
So I've gone for a Nepalese city car.
And this is it.
Six grand.
What engine? I'm a bit sketchy on details, to be honest with you.
- Don't ask me about the engine.
- And it's a four-wheel drive? - What's the engine? - I don't know! - You're the bloody oracle! I didn't even know the thing existed until five minutes ago.
- Look at this in here.
- What is this? - You'll like this.
- Come in here.
He's got the same decor as your living room.
- Cheek! - Look at that! - Looks like my nan's house.
- Chris Harris's curtains! - I've got the god of engineering here as well.
There's a god of engineering? Bishwakarma, I think he's called.
He's going to look after me all the way round.
Who have you got? I've got Mr Dreyfus from Renault, who commissioned that car in 1956.
- A genius.
- Do you know old this car is? - How old's this? - What do you reckon? How old this car? - 15 years.
No, I'd say 25.
It's a 2011 model.
BOTH: What?! - And it's done - 2011?! It's done 352,000 miles.
So this car is getting anywhere.
You know when you finally see a car that really suits its driver? Oh, yeah.
Hey, look at that! That's steel.
Hello.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Challenge.
- What have we got? "You and your city cars will now undertake the ultimate commute - "from Kathmandu to the Forbidden City of Lo Manthang.
" - Wow.
- PADDY WHISTLES Ohh.
You don't seem thrilled about that.
No, I am.
I'm quietly confident.
- You better set off now! - I think the two of us will be I'm trying to show solidarity to my fellow French city car driver.
- No, I like your car.
- I'm trying to be nice.
- It's just a bit slow.
We can be nice on this show The Forbidden City of Lo Manthang is one of the world's most isolated settlements.
To reach this tiny mountain kingdom, perched high on the Tibetan Plateau, our ultimate commute would be a battle up treacherous ancient roads, through the towering landscapes of the mighty Himalayas to the very roof of the world.
But first, we'd have to escape Kathmandu.
HORN TOOTS A little bit, uh, chaotic round these parts.
This is tight.
This is tighter than Chris Harris'swallet.
It's mayhem.
Absolute mayhem.
I hate to say it, Fred, but that does not look like the ideal wheels for round here.
What, and yours does? A left-hand-drive Renault 4? Let's test this turning circle.
This is a workout.
Come on, get round.
Oh, where are you going, son? Every single bit of space is being used - selling something, polishing something, making something.
Ohh It is dense, this place.
But not as dense as the man in the Peugeot.
Oh, this is a bit bumpy.
Ohh! Going on here? PADDY'S WHEELS SPIN Oh, dear, oh, dear, Patrick.
Yes, after just ten minutes on the road, McGuinness was stuck already.
You've beached it, you colossal helmet! - We need the Mustang.
- What, to push you, or to? - To push me, yeah! What else is it going to do? - It'll go straight into - the back of your car! - No, it won't, if he does it slowly.
But the 106 getting stuck Here we go! To the rescue.
.
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did at least give us the chance to see exactly what Flintoff's Mustang was made of.
Is it on? CLANG! Jesus! Fred! You know you said your car was four-wheel drive? Only the back wheels are spinning.
CHRIS GUFFAWS Rumbled! - Did you hear that? - What? - You know he said his was four-wheel drive? - Yeah? Only the back wheels are moving.
Still, whoever had sold Fred his two-wheel drive four-by-four had at least been kind enough to throw in a tow rope.
Keep going! And with the Renault then showing how to do things properly CHRIS LAUGHS That's embarrassing.
You see, you buy the right car, you get things done.
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the next thing to do was leave Kathmandu behind, pick up the highway and start our trek west.
MUSIC: Have Love, Will Travel by The Sonics # Have love # Whoa, babe, I will travel I said, if you need loving then Now, being low to the ground isn't a problem most of the times, but some of the roads in Nepal can be a little bit bumpy.
If it wasn't for that .
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not a problem.
It's driving all right.
It's driving like it was when it was new.
When it comes to city cars, I love French cars, and the Renault 4 is Well, it's the ultimate little billy goat of a car.
It has got some really quirky engineering solutions as well.
One of them was to try and put the gearbox in front of the engine to give you better weight distribution.
That's why this lever is so high up - because it's a rod that goes straight over the top of the engine block.
It also means the exhaust comes through the inner front wing on the nearside.
So those that know, never lean on a Renault 4 that side when it's hot, cos you'll get a scorched bottom.
And, apparently, those that don't know anything buy themselves a Hulas Mustang.
I would talk you through the car's capabilities, but I'm not even going to try and blag this.
I don't know.
I found out back there, when I was towing Paddy out, it's only a two-wheel drive.
I thought it was a four-by-four.
Its 0 to 60 - no idea.
Don't know if it could even get to 60mph.
This car isn't about that.
This car is about getting round the country, getting around the cities.
It is quirky.
It's different.
It looks like a cross between an old Defender, a Jeep Wrangler .
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and me nan's front room.
THUD! Oh BLEEP! Ohh! Man, that took me by surprise.
That is some drop down there.
Oh, that is some drop! We were on to the notorious Prithvi Highway, one of the busiest roads in Nepal.
Look at the road! It's bonkers! HORN BLARES An endless stream of cars, bikes, buses and heavily laden trucks, known locally as "the messengers of death".
These big trucks are the only thing on the road that really intimidates me.
They just look like they could squash you.
I don't think they'd think twice, either, about it.
These are lethal, these roads.
Lethal! - Look at this fella on his side! - Look at that one there.
- Oh, my word - HORNS BLARE And despite the obvious dangers, the traffic never stops fighting for position on a road that barely clings to the hillside for over 100 tortuous miles.
Where's he going? What are you doing? Nice - overtaking on a bend.
Jesus! HORN BLARES Ooh It's an ambulance, that.
An ambulance! Dear God, this iscrazy.
I may be in the ultimate city car, but on these roads, I think I'd sooner be in that tank of Flintoff's.
But then again, maybe not.
GEARS GRIND AND CLANK Go on, get in! There we go.
Flint's being done by a bus.
Look at this.
HORN TOOTS HORN TOOTS HORN BLARES What a BLEEP idiot! Did you see that? He pulled out and then, when he couldn't make it, he just tried to run me off the road.
HORN TOOTS He's flashing me.
- What does he want me to do? - This motorcyclist coming the other way - - he hasn't got many options.
- Look at this bike coming the other way! HORN BLARES Oh, my God! HE LAUGHS - Oh - GEARS CRUNCH - Waggle it.
- ENGINE REVS No.
GEARS CRUNCH AND ENGINE REVS Oh, good overtake, this.
HORN BLARES Jesus! I completely forgot about the roads and how dangerous they are.
All my energy's focused on this gearbox.
Look at me hands! The Mustang kept rolling on, though, and after hours of hard driving, the Prithvi Highway finally relented.
Look at that view ahead, lads.
I mean, that's pretty dramatic.
The colours are coming out.
You get that sort of honey glaze, don't you, as the sun comes down.
It's beautiful.
We were approaching Pokhara, gateway to the Himalayas, where the next stage of our journey would begin.
And the next morning, keen for us to join him and his Mustang in the Nepalese spirit of the journey, Flintoff had got up early and been to see the tailor.
You all right, lads? Yeah.
You know what? It feels very comfortable, this, but it were a little bit small.
I've had to make a couple of adjustments on the sleeves.
How's yours, Chris? Very happy, Fred, I have to say.
Thank you.
Initially, I was a bit sceptical.
Thought I looked a bit ridiculous.
But now, sitting in here, it feels good on, it's breathing well.
Look at your seat covers as well.
Well, my vinyl seat covers were a bit ropey.
They were the only thing I didn't like about the interior, so in some ways, you've actually completed the Renault 4.
With the seat covers in my car, I looked in the rear-view mirror and I could just see me eyes.
HE LAUGHS Leaving the Pokhara Valley behind, we would soon be turning north and starting our climb into the Himalayas.
Our next goal was Jomsom, a town deep in the Annapurna mountain range.
From there, we'd be able to make a push up to the Tibetan Plateau and Lo Manthang itself.
We were now at the start of big country.
It's just beautiful.
I can see now why so many people come over.
I'm not condoning students having gap years - for me, go and get a job - but there is a massive attraction.
Have a look behind us.
Look at the view down there on the left.
It looks fantastic.
And for the first time since we arrived .
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the road was finally French hatchback friendly.
Oh, nice.
Now we're rallying.
CLUNK! Whoo! This is Renault 4 country.
Just the right frequency of bumps.
Soaks them up brilliantly.
For a suspension design that's 50 years old, it's superb! You know it's amazing how you don't see CLUNK! Ow! CLUNK! Oh, BLEEP hang on.
HE LAUGHS - CLUNK! - Ooh.
I think the two Frenchies might start struggling.
CLUNK! Oh, man! CLUNK! Oh! It's bouncy! Wey-oh! Wey-oh! - CLUNK! - Oh, God, that was a big hit.
God! Damn it! HE GASPS - CLUNK! - Oh - Oh.
- I hit that so hard my bonnet came up.
- I've just got to stop for a minute.
- We're not stopping, we're moving.
Just keep moving, Chris.
Keep going forward.
Can you explain - .
.
something to me? - Yeah.
For the first time in this entire journey, your car has had a couple of little bumps and bangs, and we have to stop.
Minewe keep going.
My damper's gone.
Push down on that, and watch the way that suspension moves up and down on that side.
Right? Now do it on that one.
- You're making excuses, Chris.
There's nowt with it.
- Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: "Press that, Fred, it's terrible!" - Have you seen the state of my car? - I'm just giving an update.
We've had to stop Let me have a wee, and then we'll get up to the Forbidden City with this clown.
This is a classic car.
I want to look after it.
The front-left's taken a beating.
- I'm not being funny, Chris.
Why did you bring it? - Let's stop - I'm not stopping.
You whinge about your car.
"It's a classic French car.
" There's no point in waiting for it to break and then you stop.
If you maintain the vehicle, you keep going.
Which, once he'd stopped whingeing, is exactly what we did.
Come on, Pad.
I'm just going to keep going.
Keep powering through.
Flintoff's going to do me.
I know he is.
Oh, go on, Paddy.
I'll commentate on what I'm seeing here.
Every time Paddy has to slow down for a lump in the road, Fred uses the bumpier route round him to get in front of him on the road.
It's quite funny.
They're engaged in one of the most infantile races you could imagine, and it will end only one way.
All I remember here is, I'm in a city car and, yeah, the going's a bit rough, but it's doing it no problem.
CLANG! Oh, BLEEP! Oh You all right, Pad? RATTLING No, mate, you've got to keep going.
You said we can't stop.
We can't stop, can we? We've got to keep going.
Shut up, you prick! - Do you know what? All because he wanted to get past you - Yeah.
- You risked your car.
- I was in front of him! No, you just risked your car just to be at the front.
Paddy McRae had ripped off an anti-roll bar underneath the car and there was only one way to get at it.
- I reckon jack this side up - Yeah.
- .
.
then push it over.
- What are you doing? - I'm just seeing how heavy it is.
- Put it on its side and we can rip it off.
- It's not your Renault.
- We're not going to turn this over.
- We are.
So we raided the lounge in the back of the Hulas to make a suitably cushioned landing, and with McGuinness on side Help? .
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we rounded up some local muscle.
SPEAKING IN OWN LANGUAGE Are you ready? - Here we go.
- Rock it.
Rock it.
- It's going.
- OK.
- This time ALL STRAIN Go on, boys.
Go on, go on, go on.
Go on, go on.
- Go on.
- Hold on.
Hold it there for me.
Don't move, please.
- There we go.
- There you go.
- Get the old - Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you, gentlemen.
- Thank you.
No wonder these pants are falling - it's all the weight I'm losing with this manual labour.
Bend that in.
Are you pulling it off? Tell you what HORN BEEPS .
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it's going to need a bit of looking at, innit? Go on, Chris.
- Here we go.
- Oh! Not the end of the world.
Do they have many of these in Nepal? It'll still run without that on.
- Try and push it back over? - Yeah.
Come on.
I reckon you could do it on your own, Fred.
I might just stand back and watch.
- It's going.
- One more.
- Yes, Fred.
- That's going to be a bang now.
Good work.
That's not too bad.
Just a bit of a wheel arch, pull that out.
That's a good job, that is.
- I can't believe you're pulling your face.
- It's rubbing on the tyre.
- Pull it out, then.
- There you go.
- Like that? - Good job.
Right, can we get on now? Now you've wasted three hours of our time.
Actually, we couldn't.
The repairs to the Peugeot had cost us valuable daylight, and forced us to find the next place we could to stop for the night.
The next morning, our first job was to fuel up, and it's fair to say we weren't feeling totally match fit.
PADDY GROANS CREAKING Eventually.
Have you seen anything like this in your life before? Where's the petrol? Where do you put your diesel in? There? That's where I put it in? No, it's not.
PADDY LAUGHS Yeah, you just fill that up, Fred.
He is BLEEP hot on the cars, this lad.
- Where is it, then? - In a Land Rover, you roll the seat forward and the tank's underneath, and you fill it up there.
That's the top of the tank there, isn't it? - Why can't you just take that bung out there? - I've found it! THEY LAUGH Right, diesel.
Let's get it going.
PUMP WHIRS Are you going to fill up, or not? - What? - I can't fill up till you've filled up.
- Well - .
.
I've been trying to fill up.
- Why can't you? - Why can't I? - Yeah.
- Can you see the plastic gloves? I've looked everywhere.
Just fill up the bloody car.
There's no gloves.
I have to have the plastic gloves.
I've cut me arm.
Oh, you BLEEP! - Jesus Christ! - What's he done? - Yeah, Lurch had a bit of a - Right.
- FREDDIE LAUGHS - Oh, BLEEP! Oh, is it funny, Chris? It's not in my car, mate, so it is funny.
- Jesus! - What did I tell you about them plastic gloves? They'd have come in handy there, wouldn't they? Thank you.
There you go.
- Drive it out of the way, dickhead.
- No need for that.
Very bad manners.
It was going to be a long day.
But if we were going to avoid another rough night, we'd have to reach Jomsom through another 60 miles of gruelling mountain roads.
Slow and steady wins the race.
We were going to need all the help we could get, but thankfully, in the next village, we came across just the thing.
Hello, look at this.
As luck would have it, we'd found ourselves in Nepal on the one day of the year given over to celebrating the god of engineering.
What's this here? MAN SPEAKS SOFTLY WHISPERS: What's happening? They're praying.
They're blessing their cars.
Bishwakarma? - Yeah.
- I've got him on my dashboard.
- Have you? - You know the fella? The picture? - So now it makes sense? - Yeah.
And that's the reason why your car is the one that's not broken? I reckon we should get them blessed.
Can you bless our cars? Yeah? Please? Bonnets up.
Oi, Paddy, get your bonnet up.
We're going to bless the cars then, hopefully, your car might do another mile.
Ooh, that's hot.
That's hot! You don't get that in Halfords, do you? A DIY bless-your-car kit.
Lovely touch.
Put that on there.
On that.
Please bless my car and get me safely round Nepal to the Forbidden City.
Just blessing you as well.
Cos I want you to stay safe on these roads.
Yeah? Stay safe.
To Bishwakarma .
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a bit of coconut milk.
I think he's responding to me.
- He is, look.
- You knobhead.
There should be more of this, blessing things like this.
Jesus Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
No, you took me by surprise, but that's all right.
Christ! How do you crack this, then? Can I put them in me car? I just want to get rid of the smell of the diesel.
- You can, but be careful, cos you'll be up like a Roman candle.
- Really? - Here, take three.
- Cheers, mate.
Fingers crossed.
With Lord Bishwakarma now well onside, we got back on the road.
Look at that! That isterrifying water.
But disappointingly Oh, no.
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it soon became obvious Oh, no.
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that the Peugeot 106 Rallye really wasn't his thing.
When's the blessings when you need it? - Are you stuck, Paddy? - Stuck! Fred, get that Mustang down here, son.
HORN BEEPS It's just as well I brought this.
If I'd have brought another daft city car, we'd be getting nowhere.
- Are you on? - Go! Go! Go! Go on, Paddy, here we go.
Tell you what, that Mustang, this is not a problem.
With Jomsom still a long way ahead of us, we pressed on up the gorge.
Tell you what, Paddy, it's about to get really bumpy up here.
It can't get any worse, can it? I think it just might be.
And with the Hulas already pulling the weight of the Peugeot CLANG! LOW RUMBLING .
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our hopes were now pinned on the Renault somehow making it the rest of the way under its own steam.
Come on, Renault 4.
But we were at the tail end of monsoon season This is horrendous.
.
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and overnight rains had left the roads in a treacherous state.
Come on, Chris, keep moving.
Keep moving, Chris! Come on, old girl.
Come on, old girl.
Come on, old girl.
Come on, you amazing little car.
Out of interest, which part of "city car" does this have anything to do with? But then things got even tougher.
Boys! Boys, just hold up a second here.
We've got to cross this river.
Have you seen what's going on to your right, Fred? I'm not crossing that bit, Chris.
That's a bit too deep, that.
Oh, my Up-up-up! Paddy, thoughts on this? Not a problem for your Renault, that.
All right.
In for a penny In for a penny GRINDING Oh, dear.
Spot of bother? Slight technical there, boys.
Could someone get back here quite quickly, please? The things I do for you.
- I can't get out here, Fred.
- Where shall I connect it? - It's underneath the front right.
- Well, get out and show me! - Why am I getting wet feet? - I can't get back in.
- You, go away! - I'm just watching the job.
Tell you what.
- We'll sort this out.
- I'm just We? You're stood on the sill of your car.
What's the "we" part? Right, it's coming in quite fast now.
I can't believe he's not got out.
Come on, Chris.
I tell you what.
This is beyond the call of duty, this.
I'm down in the river.
With the drowning Renault pulled to safety by the mighty Hulas Great work, Fred.
.
.
McGuinness went next with his own approach.
Right.
ENGINE REVS CLANKING CHRIS LAUGHS Bit of a technical! I'm coming back for you, Paddy.
Lovely stuff.
I don't want to add insult to injury, but have you not got a raincoat? Shut up.
And with the drowning Peugeot pulled to safety by the mighty Hulas I think I'm better off just staying attached.
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we could finally crack on towards Jomsom.
I'll tell you what - the Hulas is coming into its own.
It's not flash, it's not fancy, it's not fast.
It's just a good, honest workhorse.
CHRIS GUFFAWS His four-by-four's stuck, and it's still going! This is the adventure I've always wanted.
I'm in a Renault 4 in Nepal, surrounded by massive four-by-fours.
It could end at any minute, and I might need assistance, but for now, I'm revelling in a little car doing things it shouldn't do.
It's magnificent! I tell you what.
There's a lot of people been behind me on this road behind me going, "My God, that Peugeot's doing well.
" FREDDIE LAUGHS PADDY GASPS AND GROANS That's not good.
This is not city living.
HE GROANS The next morning, we'd made it to Jomsom .
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a city 9,000 feet high, sheltered by some of the world's tallest peaks, in one of the most remote regions of Nepal.
We'd reached our final staging post and with the climb to Lo Manthang now looming ahead of us, talk had turned to supplies for the journey.
You know I always bring my own provisions, but I'm struggling at the minute, cos all's I've got - I've got a pack - Caramacs! - No.
Keep going.
- Melted Galaxys.
- No.
- Come on, enlighten us.
Enlighten us.
- Pink wafers.
- You brought pink wafers with you? - A packet of pink wafers.
- Oh, my God! - It's not going to get us up the - mountains, though, that, is it? - Do you reckon Sir Edmund Hillary, - before he attempted to climb Mount Everest, said, "I want a pink wafer"? - He'd have done it quicker.
A sugar rush.
We need to stock up on provisions.
Get what you want.
Knock yourself out.
So, while Harris and Flintoff headed to the camping shop, I took charge of rations.
Glass cleaner.
Very important.
Ooh? Ah Yes.
Yes.
The elbow pads.
Need them.
Toothpaste, please.
Oh, what's this? That does look tempting.
Right.
Crampons.
I don't think we'll have any use for crampons, Chris.
- Why not? - Could do with some chairs.
Oh, I've always wanted some of these mountaineering specs.
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's have a look.
- I could conquer worlds in those.
So, you've got everything? Oh, you're cooking the chicken? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give that a Yeah.
That's it! People go on about slow cookers and rotisseries - that's how you cook a chicken.
These are tents.
But you know what Paddy's like, Mariah Carey.
- We should probably get him a big one.
- Oh, God! Bit of chicken juice in me eye there.
I'll just I'll stand over here while you're cutting that up.
Ooh! Yeah.
That's how I like it, medium rare, with the chicken.
Lovely stuff.
And with supplies sorted, next, I headed over to the camping shop to show the lads what they had to look forward to.
Paddy, your plan is, if we run out of food, we're going to eat - sanitary towels? - I've got you some chicken.
- What's that there? - That's a chicken.
- That's a chicken? - Yeah.
I've had it chopped up in the shop for you.
Three tents.
Two small tents, one big tent.
Do you think this constitutes being prepared? Cos all I read is stories about people dying through being, I quote, unprepared.
We've got toothpaste, sanitary towels, and chicken.
That's pretty prepared.
I'm not convinced, myself.
I think we've bought the wrong gear.
We've got drawn into it by McGuinness, as usual.
He has never been anywhere.
He's never camped anywhere.
- Oh! - Oh, here we go.
A challenge.
"As cities grow in the future, we're going to need to car share.
"To prove how good your city cars are at car pooling, "you'll now each give three commuters a lift to work "at the Muktinath Temple.
" - The what? - Muktinath Temple.
Sitting above us at 12,500ft, Muktinath Temple is one of the world's highest.
And to test how our cars cope with passengers on the daily grind, we would now have to reach it with a carful of local commuters.
And since he was basically driving a bus, Flintoff took the squad of heavily laden sherpas - Do you carry that up mountains? - Yeah, yeah.
- Really? - Best game.
Yeah.
.
.
McGuinness had the Jomsom branch of the WI Let me help you with this.
Let me help you with this, ladies.
Oh, God, it's heavy.
.
.
while I had the worrying responsibility of driving three holy men.
There we go.
After you.
With everyone on board, it was time to hit the road.
Almost.
DRUMMING AND SINGING She's lovely.
Hey-hey! Look at this.
A big procession of something.
- Love that.
- Let's have a go.
We got this.
It's like the dab, innit? Fred! And once the local parade was safely out of the way, then it was time to hit the road.
I've always suspected these bandanas are worn by idiots that want to look cool and they're actually not very comfortable.
You know what? The suspicion has proved correct.
It's coming off.
A terrible thing.
Now on our way to Muktinath, talk amongst our Nepalese car-sharers quickly turned to the national obsession.
- Do you like cricket? - Yeah.
- You like cricket? - Yeah.
Who is your favourite player? Tendulkar? Kohli? Did you recognise Mr Flintoff? - So the guy driving the car behind - Flintoff! .
.
is Freddie Flintoff.
Are you a batter or a bowler? - Bowler? - Yeah.
- You're fast? - Yeah.
- I tried to be fast.
- Yeah.
All-rounder? Yeah.
But for bowlingnot quick.
Medium pace.
I agree, medium pace.
Yeah.
But forget Test Match Special, because the Peugeot was flying.
Wey-hey! Hey? Now it comes into its own, this car.
Yes! - It's a sports car.
- Yeah, sports car.
- Very fast car.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the S1.
They do an S2, which is a 1.
6 engine.
This is only 1.
3, but this is the one you want.
This is the nippy one.
Oh, she loves it.
She loves the stats, eh? Stick with me, girls.
Yes.
Now we're cruising, boys.
Now we're cruising.
PADDY CHUCKLES They like their speed, these girls.
They like their speed.
Yay! While France's finest scampered on ahead, Flintoff was showing off his local wheels.
- The car - The car.
.
.
is made by Hulas.
A Nepalese company.
Company.
Yeah.
- Have you heard of it? - No.
Still, at least it was proving reliable.
Oh, his car's broke.
HISSING It's overheated, lads.
What's happening, Chris? The old TU engine has overheated.
Is that cos you were driving like a berk again? This is the first time I've been able to show what this car can do, really.
- What, nothing? - Fingers While we waited for the Peugeot to cool off, I nipped out for a comfort break.
But with my back turned, the temptation of the Rallye was to prove too much for one of our fellow car-sharers.
FREDDIE LAUGHS ENGINE REVS Yes.
Now this is brilliant.
- Where's the car? - The holy man's gone for a joy ride.
The holy man said he'd never driven a Rallye.
He'd driven an XSi, but he wanted to experience the lightweight, higher-revving model.
Is he a good driver? Is he a good driver? You don't know.
- He's not a clue! - These holy men are loose.
- I bet he's driving it better than Paddy did.
- Yeah.
It's good this, running, 3,000 metres up.
COUGHS Slow down! Paddy, tell him he's got a high lift camshaft that comes on about five.
Eventually, McGuinness caught up with his Peugeot, and we got back on the road to Muktinath Temple .
.
which was quite scenic.
Look to the right.
Wow.
Oh, my word, look at that! Oh, look at this! And as we climbed up out of the valley, we came across something even more remarkable.
- Road - Ohh! - Very good.
- Tarmac roads? - Yeah.
Oh, feel the Feel the silence.
ENGINE ROARS There he goes.
McGuinness.
In the 106.
HE LAUGHS You can't begrudge him a go in that.
He's suffered the off-road for days.
Come on! This is what this car was built for, girls! Whoo! Now, well beyond 12,000ft, we were gradually closing in on the temple.
But then, with just a mile to go Ah.
What's McGuinness doing? Pull in.
- Why have we stopped? - Pull in.
Handbrake BLEEP! - You all right? - Yeah.
What's up? Gentlemen! CHRIS GASPS Bit warm? Good news.
The golden girls in the back of me car say I'm not too far away, so I thought, as we're here, - we could have a little gentlemen's race.
- Right.
Classic rally stage, this.
Peugeot versus Renault versus big, weird Nepalese tank thing.
But I know this one's a little bit quicker - I'm going to give you a 30-second head start.
So, ultimate commuter car-share bragging rights would now be decided by a one-mile hill climb, finishing at the top of the road in the temple car park.
Are you all set? Three, two, one, go! Lightning.
Wow! Bye! Come on, the Renault.
Right.
Oh, we've got a lead.
We're ahead of the Hulas.
Come on.
This is not what this car was designed for.
I'm just going to get a little bit more ventilation in the front of the car.
Oh, look at that.
Peugeot badge has gone.
Oh, me door's open! We're dropping the Hulas.
His door's come open.
Right, ladies, hold on to your Ps.
There you are.
That's a Peugeot badge there.
What? FREDDIE LAUGHS Shut the door! Let's do it! We've got to catch them! Yes, exactly! - Very good.
- Oh, he's never going to catch us, boys.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh! ENGINE REVS Tight bend there, that's OK.
No sign of Paddy yet.
I can't see McGuinness.
Come on, the Hulas! HORN BEEPS There's Flintoff! Get round this lad.
HE LAUGHS Whoa-ho! Oh, I can see Harris.
HORN BEEPS - Come on! - Come on! - This is Peugeot versus Renault.
- Come on! Come on! Oh, he's trying to block me off.
Oh, that's very rude.
Oh, classic! Classic! Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Yeah! Paddy's called the race.
I've got all his kit in the back.
I've got Chris's kit in the back.
I've got the camping equipment.
I've got the Sherpa gear, I've got the Sherpas.
Forget Flintoff's excuses.
HORN BEEPS Victory went to the 106.
The Peugeot has not let us down! And with the other two bringing up the rear Where's the finish line? .
.
we finally had our commuters safely delivered.
Your tomatoes Before heading on, we decided to make the short, steep trek up to the temple itself .
.
keen to experience the spiritual cleansing power of Muktinath's legendary 108 taps.
I think what happens is, the water comes down a waterfall, and in the temple, it's divided off into these taps, and you go under every one to be blessed.
- What, we have to walk through 108 taps? - 108 taps.
In fact, Muktinath is one of the most sacred sites in all of Nepal - That's a solid bell, that is.
- BELL CLANGS .
.
something that was completely lost on McGuinness.
I realise we're in a really holy place, and everything else, but there is something about, when I hear that noise, I instantly want to get to the bar for lasties.
You're comparing a holy shrine to a Wetherspoons? No, no, I never said that.
I said, whenever I hear a bell.
Despite having the world's most uncultured man with us, amazingly, they let us in.
And after a quick change, we were ready to let the ice-cold cleansing begin.
BELL CLANGS Oh, it's fresh, lads.
Ohh! Oh-ho! PADDY SHIVERS PADDY MUTTERS HE GASPS Now, while McGuinness was out to set some sort of lap record HE GASPS HE YELLS .
.
Flintoff was keen to get us the full temple experience.
Om Namah Shivaya.
- Om? - Namah Shivaya.
BOTH: Om Namah Shivaya.
ALL: Om Namah Shivaya.
- That's it.
Soak it up.
- Om Namah Shivaya! This is doing you good.
Om Namah Shivaya.
I'm far from warm, mate.
You're nearly there, son.
Come on, get rid of the last sins.
- That's it, lovely stuff.
- Om Namah Shivaya.
PADDY LAUGHS - Om Namah Shivaya.
- HE LAUGHS Spirits cleansed, it was time to make our way back down the valley, where straight away, Flintoff got stuck into a bit ofuncleansing.
Here we go, Paddy.
Oh, BLEEP! HE SPITS Dirty bastard! We were now heading to the bottom of the vast Kali Gandaki Gorge.
Miles from anywhere, our next job was to find somewhere to camp for the night, and for some reason, Sir Ranulph McGuinness insisted on picking the site.
This is nice, innit? What did I tell you? I'll find us a nice flat spot.
This is the worst camp spot I've ever seen.
I-I don't camp that much, but what you want is a dry, even, non-rocky surface.
- What we've got is a sodden, uneven rocky surface.
- Mm.
Just three men in a riverbed doing a bit of camping, hey? Goodnight.
- Why have they carpeted the roof? - Insulation.
One thing with that car, though, on the tarmac today, it wasn't really enjoying it on the corners cos it's so top-heavy.
But as soon as you get off road, I reckon that thing's virtually unstoppable.
Two-wheel drive but four-by-four capabilities.
- HE LAUGHS - Hey? The moment you say the word capabilities, you sound like a Vauxhall salesman.
- I've had a terrifying thought.
- Hmm? In the event of the 106 breaking down - who gets? - Oh, God! - We've got to get that car round.
- Yeah, we have.
- We really have.
Mission Keep The 106 Going Whatever.
The next morning, at last, the Forbidden City was edging within reach, just a tantalising 40 miles to the north.
But every inch of our ascent to Lo Manthang would now be a battle against power-sapping altitude, relentless inclines and whatever the road ahead would become.
This might have been the home stretch, but it was going to be the hardest.
Paddy, what are you wearing? It's cos the roads are so dusty.
Did you not pack one? You look like a CBeebies version of Bane.
I'll take that.
I think today's going to be a grueller, lads.
I think we're going to be climbing all day.
I really want to get these three cars to that finishing line.
I want to get them to Lo Manthang in one piece.
Let's just stick together and help each other out today.
And so, determined to reach our goal together, we began the long climb It's much steeper than I thought.
.
.
with no idea how the cars would cope.
- Are you all right, Chris? - I am crawling now.
ENGINE REVS Get the Hulas up here.
The Hulas will have to push me to push you.
He won't push both of us.
Come on, Fred, give it a whirl.
Let's try both of us.
OK? CRASH! Oh! Here we go.
Pushing two cars.
We're off! # Do-do-do, come on and do the conga Do-do-do SMASH! Jesus! HE LAUGHS FREDDIE LAUGHS What have you done to me window? I thought I'd let a bit of air in for you.
HE LAUGHS And those are the results of the spirit of adventure.
You are an idiot.
How How has that happened? Oh, no.
- Hey, it were working, though.
- No, it wasn't.
You were pushing us then.
I stopped because your back window went through.
You only stopped cos of the back window.
- Come on, give it another go.
- Give it another go? Ow! Ooh.
Oh, come on, man! Harris is not going to be happy! Amazingly, the world's slowest pile-up had kept the convoy moving Lovely bit of teamwork, lads.
.
.
but as we climbed higher, what was most amazing of all was the little 106 just kept getting better.
Go on, Peugeot! Go on, the 106.
Go on, go on! Whoo! That's how you get up a hill! Here it comes, the Hulas.
We just keep climbing and climbing.
Harris has got no chance.
- This is sketchy as hell.
- How are you getting on, Chris? Go on, the Renault.
Come on.
Come on! Keep going, Chris.
Come on! WHEELS SPIN - Oh - Do you want me to come back, Chris? Yeah, it's not happening, boys.
I just haven't got enough power.
You're definitely going to need a tug off Flintoff.
Which, thanks to the Renault's increasingly iffy handbrake I'm really not enjoying this now.
.
.
and the hammering the Hulas had been taking GRINDING Wow.
.
.
was getting more and more difficult.
- Paddy! - What? Do you fancy getting in here and doing the clutch? My handbrake's knackered, so I've got to keep my left foot on the brake.
What do you reckon? - In for it? - Yeah.
- What's going on here? - I'm doing the clutch.
Chris, you're putting your life in our two hands.
You could not be in a safer place, son.
Whoa! HE SIGHS - Right - Across - That's first.
- Yeah.
- Right.
Are you going to let off the clutch? - Yeah.
Are you? Are you? - Are you in gear? - Yeah.
You ready? Oh, God.
- What gear are you in there? - First.
- Are you sure? - Over and down.
- Put it in neutral.
Lads, how do we feel that went? ENGINE STARTS There she goes.
Right.
- Good work, boys.
She started.
- Right, that's in first.
Yes, baby.
Here we go.
This is the way.
A bit of me doesn't like being towed because it feels like failure.
But this isn't a race, so therefore, I can allow them to help me.
Having picked up the Renault Come on, the 106.
.
.
we got back to the ascent.
Jeez, look at that.
And before long, the road threw up its next challenge.
This bit's a bit tricky, boys.
Seriously tricky.
Hard.
This is tough going.
Oh, that's high.
Oh, now, come on.
That is ridiculous.
Seriously, boys, this is This isfrightening up here.
Jesus.
Oh, that's too much.
I mean, literally, there was just enough room to get the car through.
And if it was tight for the Peugeot Come on.
.
.
then getting the Hulas through would be a big ask.
I quite want this to end now.
Come on.
CLANKING Come on.
Come on, Harris.
Come on, Harris, get through now, son.
Come on, Harris.
That was unpleasant.
Thank you, Paddy.
Good work, boys.
Good work.
I know it's all fun and a laugh and that, but this is proper.
This is One mistake and you're gone.
In my case, one mistake from me and we're both gone.
But the road wasn't finished with us yet.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! What?! We are so close to the edge here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That is juststupid.
- Are you ready, Chris? - As I'll ever be.
Ohh! Wow! Oh, my Lord! What are we doing this for? This is ridiculous.
I'm not even going to lie about this and try and style it out.
Me heart's pounding.
I'm driving up a waterfall.
Agh! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! It's done it! Yes! Yes, it's done it! Come on.
Come on, come round.
Bring it round.
What I would do for a better turning circle right now.
WHEELS SPIN Oh, God.
Ohh! Agh! Oh, God.
What's round the corner there, Paddy? What's round the corner? Just give me a minute.
Yes! Yes! Yes, come on! - Come on, the Hulas.
- Come on, come on! Jeez, this is bonkers! This is daft.
For the first time in my working life, having done lots of silly things in cars, I just want to send my .
.
my kids a message, cos I'm quite scared.
We'd made it up the pass, and with the road flattening out, the Hulas had earned itself a break.
So with the Renault cut loose again, together we kept rolling on towards Lo Manthang.
That's got to be one of the most hair-raising experiences I've ever had, that.
Have you driven anything like that before, Chris? No, never.
Never, ever, ever.
I didn't even know roads like this existed, never mind us driving on them.
Considering we're in city cars, I don't know how we've got this far.
This Forbidden City had better be good, that's all I'm saying.
Our respite from the ascent would prove to be short-lived, though.
Come on, Renault 4.
As we crossed into the next valley, the road had started to climb again.
Fred, I can't believe I'm saying this, but please can you give me a push? Come on, Harris.
Oh, God! This is getting stupid now.
I can't go anywhere.
Go on, Harris.
Push through.
That's literally all I've got.
I think the engine's dying.
I'll just keep pushing, Chris.
We'll get it round.
I'm over this now.
Desperate to get this Renault and Harris round.
Can't push him all day.
I'm going to ruin his car.
CLANKING AND GRINDING Fred, hook me up and just tow me.
This is ridiculous.
It's just destroying the back of my car.
All right, I'll get the ropes out, mate.
You want to back round here and I'll just pull up a bit further up? CLANK! Whoa, whoa! Paddy! What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?! What the hell?! CLANKING - Fred? - I thought you was in it.
What are you doing? Oh, come on.
So the handbrake's been sticky all the time.
I had it in gear.
I couldn't get in it in time.
- Rock behind the tyre? - No, I was on the handbrake.
It wasn't that steep where I was.
Let's try and push it over.
Tell you what, it's coming out here, Chris.
Look at this.
- OK, that's oil from the engine.
- Come on.
- Or coolant or something.
Ready? - Yeah.
- Do we have to bump it? - Yeah.
- Go on.
What about if we put something under? Oh, Jesus.
- That's a Fanta.
- A splash of Fanta.
That's all right.
- Get the Hulas and just drag it over.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- There you go, about there will do.
- Paddy! The rope! Put them round the pillars? No.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to go through, over the roof, and down through there and into the cabin.
- OK? Go.
- Yeah, go on.
- I've no idea what this is going to do.
- Go! - Go, go, go! Go! METAL SCREECHES Yeah, yeah! Oh, that's not looking good, pal.
How much have we lost? That's not even half a litre, is it? I think we'll give it a go, boys.
Crank it over and pump the throttle at the same time.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Might need a while to get some fuel through it.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS - You can hear it, can't you? - You can smell the fuel a bit now.
We're getting some fuel in.
Go again, Fred.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Keep going, Fred.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Now there's fuel in there now.
Go.
Now give it a start.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Crank her, Fred.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS And again.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS She's going to go.
I know she's going to go.
She's going to go.
- Listen.
- She's going to - I don't think she is, pal.
Chris, I hate to be the one to do this, but I think we have to call it.
It's gone.
- If we just keep cranking it - No.
It's a shame, cos I've grown very fond of this car.
I think we all have.
I know how much it means to you, but you appreciate that's what we have to do? Yeah, but, you know, when you have a companion for a journey, you're pretty reluctant to let them go, aren't you? So this was it.
After five days of punishment .
.
and now just ten miles short of the finish Bit more.
.
.
the Renault 4's journey was done.
Stick a rock behind t'tyre.
- I've learned that now.
- Yeah.
- Come on, Chris, get in.
Got to look on the positives, Chris.
Just think how far that Renault's come.
It wasn't designed for this.
It was designed to nip to the boulangerie in France.
In the countryside.
Not up the mountains of Nepal.
You should be proud.
Just a bit gutted, Fred.
Just thought it would make it.
- It gave everything it had.
- Yeah.
- It's left nothing.
- Better to have loved and lost, eh, Fred? - Oh God.
GEARS GRIND Course.
And that is an amazing end to a life.
Just imagine if your life was an MOT failure, - and then a quick trip to the knacker's yard.
- I agree.
That has ended its life halfway up a Himalayan mountain.
MUSIC: Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf See, you're coming round to it now, aren't you? I am.
I'm looking on the positive side.
You're seeing it as it should be, I reckon.
And everything I'm saying has been tempered by a new-found respect I've got for you.
I had no idea - what a wrestling match this was.
- It is.
GEARS GRIND It's an absolute dog to drive.
It's as much a workout as a drive, isn't it? - Can I let you into a little secret as well? - Yes, Fred.
You know you put all that faith in towing, letting me tow you? Yeah.
You were good at that.
It's the first time I've done it in my life.
We've got to be near now.
We've got to be! - We've got to be close.
- We have to.
I mean, there is nothing up here.
And then Oh, I can see Look at that over there.
- Why's he going there? - I don't know.
We'll just follow him.
Look at that! .
.
we finally found our prize.
- Wow.
- That must be it.
- That must be it.
- That's Lo Manthang? That's pretty spectacular if it is.
A city in the middle of all this mountain range.
Well, we've got the city cars.
Let's go down to the Forbidden City.
Come on.
Wait till they get a load of us! Come on, Peugeot! You ready? - Are you ready, Chris? - Fred! - Come on, Chris! HE LAUGHS Whoa, whoa! Ho-ho! They do not make this place accessible, do they?! This might be it, boys.
This might be our moment.
I think we're here! The Forbidden City of Lo Manthang.
Come on, we're going through the arches.
- That - Go on, the Hulas! - .
.
was a long drive.
- We're in, Chris.
- That was a long drive.
- We're in.
I'm high-fiving you in my car! Give me one back.
Yes, Paddy! This medieval walled settlement is home to less than 1,000 people, its narrow streets closed to foreign visitors until just 28 years ago.
Even today, its remote location means few travellers ever venture to its gates.
This is cool.
This is cool.
And now our finish line lay just a few hundred yards away at a festival in the main square.
Gone to town here.
They've got the ticker tape parade in.
We'd reached the end of the ultimate commute.
Boys, I can't believe we've done it.
Well, almost.
Oh, hang on a minute.
Dear God, this is tight.
How are you going to get this through there? Come on, Chris, breathe in.
Turns out we had one more test to overcome.
- How the hell? - Oh, no.
- No, no.
- This is tight, boys.
I'm going to have to come out and have another run at it.
The main square was on the other side of a narrow gateway I know what I'm going to do.
I'm going to back it in.
.
.
and only a true city car would be able to pass through to reach it.
Hard round.
Come on.
That's it.
Stop.
Stop, stop.
You're going to hit this beam! What beam? I didn't see that.
This wing mirror - I have to kick this wing mirror off.
Let it bend back.
The 106 had just about squeaked through.
Hard round now.
Give it all the lock now.
But for the Hulas, things were looking tight.
Could do with some power steering.
Come in, come in! - Fred.
- Yeah? - Not a chance, mate.
- I want to get in the square.
- You can't go back.
- If I go forward, I get a bit of room, I can do it.
- There's no chance.
- Really? I swear to God, cos there's a bit you haven't seen, which I didn't see.
See them two red pillars in there? It goes narrower.
I started in Kathmandu.
And I'm four foot from finishing.
I am not staying here when the finish line is there.
Watch and learn, Harris.
I've never met anyone as stubborn in my life.
Oh, ho! Here we go! - Oh, that's just ridiculous.
- What? He's not? I'm through! - No, you're not.
- Finish line.
Technically, Fred, you're not in.
I'm in.
I'm in.
I'm in.
He wasn't.
The simple truth was the Hulas had finally met an obstacle it couldn't overcome.
Come on, Fred.
I'm coming.
In the five days since leaving Kathmandu, our cars had covered the most arduous miles of their lives.
They'd suffered breakdowns and failures.
But working together, they'd claimed victories we had no right to expect of them.
- It's done it! - Wow! - Amazing little car! In the end, the journey had proved too much for some.
But we'd come to Nepal to find the ultimate city car.
Yeah! Yeah! Wow.
And, ultimately, the Forbidden City had made its choice.
- We've done it! - That was amazing.
That was amazing.
- Yeah! - That was a great effort.
Look at this! Wonderful! - Thank you.
- Thank you.
Namaste.
Oh, look at that! He's crowned the winner.
- It's got the gold scarf on it, Chris! - On that, Paddy, I'll give it you.
- Peugeot wins.
- You can't argue with the man.
We thought, "It's Christmas.
Surely the producers are going to treat us? "Supercars around the Caribbean, a pair of Cuban heels for Chris?" But no.
They decided we'd be exploring urban transport.
See, with more and more of the world's population living in cities, they decided it was vitally important that we found the ultimate tough city car.
So they gave us each six grand and told us to buy the best second-hand example we could find.
But, obviously, they didn't send us to London, Paris or New York.
No, that would have been far too simple, Paddy.
They sent us and our city cars to one of the toughest landscapes on Earth.
Massive mountains, giant gorges, properly scary roads.
No, no, not Bolton.
They sent us to a place called Kathmandu in Nepal.
CHRIS: Nepal.
An ancient, mystical land.
A land that's home to the world's highest peaks, and now also to a very important Top Gear test.
We'd been told to meet in the heart of Nepal's capital, Kathmandu.
A million people crammed into a valley in the Himalayan foothills, it is one of the most densely populated and congested cities anywhere on the planet.
The perfect place, then, to introduce our ultimate city cars.
And what do you want for the perfect city car? You want the Peugeot 106 Rallye.
This little beauty cost me three-and-a-half grand, which, considering this is a classic hot hatch, that's a bit of a bargain.
It's 100 brake horsepower, 1,300 engine - doesn't sound a lot, but trust me, this car's about as light as an empty bag of crisps.
It's nippy, it's agile.
It's everything you want from the ultimate city car.
HORN TOOTS What a place HORN TOOTS What is? Apologies, Kathmandu.
Come on! No Yes.
The Renault 4 what a beauty, Paddy! Come on! This is the ultimate city car.
It's simple, it's tough, it's perfect.
I mean, the world's now crazy for little SUVs, you know, - hatchbacks that are a bit raised up.
- Yeah.
This was doing that back in the '60s with elegant simplicity.
- I mean, look at it.
It's a beauty.
- Listen It's a lovely little car.
It's got a bit of personality, but people can walk faster than this car round the city.
Normally, at this point, I climb into the terrible decision you've made.
- Howeverwow! - Yes.
I've done very well.
I had sleepless nights over those, reading about them in Performance Car magazine.
So was I, when I was a young lad.
How much was this? - Five grand.
- What?! HORN TOOTS - It's a classic.
- Hang on Hi, Paddy! City car.
What's that? - It's the Hulas Mustang.
- What? - I've never heard of one.
- You wouldn't.
All you need to know - that is built in Nepal.
Excuse me.
Let me consult the oracle.
What is it? I've no idea.
It doesn't look like any Mustang I've seen before.
I've gone for a local beer.
You wouldn't go to Nepal - and drink Carling, would you? - Well, he would.
So I've gone for a Nepalese city car.
And this is it.
Six grand.
What engine? I'm a bit sketchy on details, to be honest with you.
- Don't ask me about the engine.
- And it's a four-wheel drive? - What's the engine? - I don't know! - You're the bloody oracle! I didn't even know the thing existed until five minutes ago.
- Look at this in here.
- What is this? - You'll like this.
- Come in here.
He's got the same decor as your living room.
- Cheek! - Look at that! - Looks like my nan's house.
- Chris Harris's curtains! - I've got the god of engineering here as well.
There's a god of engineering? Bishwakarma, I think he's called.
He's going to look after me all the way round.
Who have you got? I've got Mr Dreyfus from Renault, who commissioned that car in 1956.
- A genius.
- Do you know old this car is? - How old's this? - What do you reckon? How old this car? - 15 years.
No, I'd say 25.
It's a 2011 model.
BOTH: What?! - And it's done - 2011?! It's done 352,000 miles.
So this car is getting anywhere.
You know when you finally see a car that really suits its driver? Oh, yeah.
Hey, look at that! That's steel.
Hello.
Thank you.
Thank you.
- Challenge.
- What have we got? "You and your city cars will now undertake the ultimate commute - "from Kathmandu to the Forbidden City of Lo Manthang.
" - Wow.
- PADDY WHISTLES Ohh.
You don't seem thrilled about that.
No, I am.
I'm quietly confident.
- You better set off now! - I think the two of us will be I'm trying to show solidarity to my fellow French city car driver.
- No, I like your car.
- I'm trying to be nice.
- It's just a bit slow.
We can be nice on this show The Forbidden City of Lo Manthang is one of the world's most isolated settlements.
To reach this tiny mountain kingdom, perched high on the Tibetan Plateau, our ultimate commute would be a battle up treacherous ancient roads, through the towering landscapes of the mighty Himalayas to the very roof of the world.
But first, we'd have to escape Kathmandu.
HORN TOOTS A little bit, uh, chaotic round these parts.
This is tight.
This is tighter than Chris Harris'swallet.
It's mayhem.
Absolute mayhem.
I hate to say it, Fred, but that does not look like the ideal wheels for round here.
What, and yours does? A left-hand-drive Renault 4? Let's test this turning circle.
This is a workout.
Come on, get round.
Oh, where are you going, son? Every single bit of space is being used - selling something, polishing something, making something.
Ohh It is dense, this place.
But not as dense as the man in the Peugeot.
Oh, this is a bit bumpy.
Ohh! Going on here? PADDY'S WHEELS SPIN Oh, dear, oh, dear, Patrick.
Yes, after just ten minutes on the road, McGuinness was stuck already.
You've beached it, you colossal helmet! - We need the Mustang.
- What, to push you, or to? - To push me, yeah! What else is it going to do? - It'll go straight into - the back of your car! - No, it won't, if he does it slowly.
But the 106 getting stuck Here we go! To the rescue.
.
.
did at least give us the chance to see exactly what Flintoff's Mustang was made of.
Is it on? CLANG! Jesus! Fred! You know you said your car was four-wheel drive? Only the back wheels are spinning.
CHRIS GUFFAWS Rumbled! - Did you hear that? - What? - You know he said his was four-wheel drive? - Yeah? Only the back wheels are moving.
Still, whoever had sold Fred his two-wheel drive four-by-four had at least been kind enough to throw in a tow rope.
Keep going! And with the Renault then showing how to do things properly CHRIS LAUGHS That's embarrassing.
You see, you buy the right car, you get things done.
.
.
the next thing to do was leave Kathmandu behind, pick up the highway and start our trek west.
MUSIC: Have Love, Will Travel by The Sonics # Have love # Whoa, babe, I will travel I said, if you need loving then Now, being low to the ground isn't a problem most of the times, but some of the roads in Nepal can be a little bit bumpy.
If it wasn't for that .
.
not a problem.
It's driving all right.
It's driving like it was when it was new.
When it comes to city cars, I love French cars, and the Renault 4 is Well, it's the ultimate little billy goat of a car.
It has got some really quirky engineering solutions as well.
One of them was to try and put the gearbox in front of the engine to give you better weight distribution.
That's why this lever is so high up - because it's a rod that goes straight over the top of the engine block.
It also means the exhaust comes through the inner front wing on the nearside.
So those that know, never lean on a Renault 4 that side when it's hot, cos you'll get a scorched bottom.
And, apparently, those that don't know anything buy themselves a Hulas Mustang.
I would talk you through the car's capabilities, but I'm not even going to try and blag this.
I don't know.
I found out back there, when I was towing Paddy out, it's only a two-wheel drive.
I thought it was a four-by-four.
Its 0 to 60 - no idea.
Don't know if it could even get to 60mph.
This car isn't about that.
This car is about getting round the country, getting around the cities.
It is quirky.
It's different.
It looks like a cross between an old Defender, a Jeep Wrangler .
.
and me nan's front room.
THUD! Oh BLEEP! Ohh! Man, that took me by surprise.
That is some drop down there.
Oh, that is some drop! We were on to the notorious Prithvi Highway, one of the busiest roads in Nepal.
Look at the road! It's bonkers! HORN BLARES An endless stream of cars, bikes, buses and heavily laden trucks, known locally as "the messengers of death".
These big trucks are the only thing on the road that really intimidates me.
They just look like they could squash you.
I don't think they'd think twice, either, about it.
These are lethal, these roads.
Lethal! - Look at this fella on his side! - Look at that one there.
- Oh, my word - HORNS BLARE And despite the obvious dangers, the traffic never stops fighting for position on a road that barely clings to the hillside for over 100 tortuous miles.
Where's he going? What are you doing? Nice - overtaking on a bend.
Jesus! HORN BLARES Ooh It's an ambulance, that.
An ambulance! Dear God, this iscrazy.
I may be in the ultimate city car, but on these roads, I think I'd sooner be in that tank of Flintoff's.
But then again, maybe not.
GEARS GRIND AND CLANK Go on, get in! There we go.
Flint's being done by a bus.
Look at this.
HORN TOOTS HORN TOOTS HORN BLARES What a BLEEP idiot! Did you see that? He pulled out and then, when he couldn't make it, he just tried to run me off the road.
HORN TOOTS He's flashing me.
- What does he want me to do? - This motorcyclist coming the other way - - he hasn't got many options.
- Look at this bike coming the other way! HORN BLARES Oh, my God! HE LAUGHS - Oh - GEARS CRUNCH - Waggle it.
- ENGINE REVS No.
GEARS CRUNCH AND ENGINE REVS Oh, good overtake, this.
HORN BLARES Jesus! I completely forgot about the roads and how dangerous they are.
All my energy's focused on this gearbox.
Look at me hands! The Mustang kept rolling on, though, and after hours of hard driving, the Prithvi Highway finally relented.
Look at that view ahead, lads.
I mean, that's pretty dramatic.
The colours are coming out.
You get that sort of honey glaze, don't you, as the sun comes down.
It's beautiful.
We were approaching Pokhara, gateway to the Himalayas, where the next stage of our journey would begin.
And the next morning, keen for us to join him and his Mustang in the Nepalese spirit of the journey, Flintoff had got up early and been to see the tailor.
You all right, lads? Yeah.
You know what? It feels very comfortable, this, but it were a little bit small.
I've had to make a couple of adjustments on the sleeves.
How's yours, Chris? Very happy, Fred, I have to say.
Thank you.
Initially, I was a bit sceptical.
Thought I looked a bit ridiculous.
But now, sitting in here, it feels good on, it's breathing well.
Look at your seat covers as well.
Well, my vinyl seat covers were a bit ropey.
They were the only thing I didn't like about the interior, so in some ways, you've actually completed the Renault 4.
With the seat covers in my car, I looked in the rear-view mirror and I could just see me eyes.
HE LAUGHS Leaving the Pokhara Valley behind, we would soon be turning north and starting our climb into the Himalayas.
Our next goal was Jomsom, a town deep in the Annapurna mountain range.
From there, we'd be able to make a push up to the Tibetan Plateau and Lo Manthang itself.
We were now at the start of big country.
It's just beautiful.
I can see now why so many people come over.
I'm not condoning students having gap years - for me, go and get a job - but there is a massive attraction.
Have a look behind us.
Look at the view down there on the left.
It looks fantastic.
And for the first time since we arrived .
.
the road was finally French hatchback friendly.
Oh, nice.
Now we're rallying.
CLUNK! Whoo! This is Renault 4 country.
Just the right frequency of bumps.
Soaks them up brilliantly.
For a suspension design that's 50 years old, it's superb! You know it's amazing how you don't see CLUNK! Ow! CLUNK! Oh, BLEEP hang on.
HE LAUGHS - CLUNK! - Ooh.
I think the two Frenchies might start struggling.
CLUNK! Oh, man! CLUNK! Oh! It's bouncy! Wey-oh! Wey-oh! - CLUNK! - Oh, God, that was a big hit.
God! Damn it! HE GASPS - CLUNK! - Oh - Oh.
- I hit that so hard my bonnet came up.
- I've just got to stop for a minute.
- We're not stopping, we're moving.
Just keep moving, Chris.
Keep going forward.
Can you explain - .
.
something to me? - Yeah.
For the first time in this entire journey, your car has had a couple of little bumps and bangs, and we have to stop.
Minewe keep going.
My damper's gone.
Push down on that, and watch the way that suspension moves up and down on that side.
Right? Now do it on that one.
- You're making excuses, Chris.
There's nowt with it.
- Exactly.
That's what I'm saying.
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: "Press that, Fred, it's terrible!" - Have you seen the state of my car? - I'm just giving an update.
We've had to stop Let me have a wee, and then we'll get up to the Forbidden City with this clown.
This is a classic car.
I want to look after it.
The front-left's taken a beating.
- I'm not being funny, Chris.
Why did you bring it? - Let's stop - I'm not stopping.
You whinge about your car.
"It's a classic French car.
" There's no point in waiting for it to break and then you stop.
If you maintain the vehicle, you keep going.
Which, once he'd stopped whingeing, is exactly what we did.
Come on, Pad.
I'm just going to keep going.
Keep powering through.
Flintoff's going to do me.
I know he is.
Oh, go on, Paddy.
I'll commentate on what I'm seeing here.
Every time Paddy has to slow down for a lump in the road, Fred uses the bumpier route round him to get in front of him on the road.
It's quite funny.
They're engaged in one of the most infantile races you could imagine, and it will end only one way.
All I remember here is, I'm in a city car and, yeah, the going's a bit rough, but it's doing it no problem.
CLANG! Oh, BLEEP! Oh You all right, Pad? RATTLING No, mate, you've got to keep going.
You said we can't stop.
We can't stop, can we? We've got to keep going.
Shut up, you prick! - Do you know what? All because he wanted to get past you - Yeah.
- You risked your car.
- I was in front of him! No, you just risked your car just to be at the front.
Paddy McRae had ripped off an anti-roll bar underneath the car and there was only one way to get at it.
- I reckon jack this side up - Yeah.
- .
.
then push it over.
- What are you doing? - I'm just seeing how heavy it is.
- Put it on its side and we can rip it off.
- It's not your Renault.
- We're not going to turn this over.
- We are.
So we raided the lounge in the back of the Hulas to make a suitably cushioned landing, and with McGuinness on side Help? .
.
we rounded up some local muscle.
SPEAKING IN OWN LANGUAGE Are you ready? - Here we go.
- Rock it.
Rock it.
- It's going.
- OK.
- This time ALL STRAIN Go on, boys.
Go on, go on, go on.
Go on, go on.
- Go on.
- Hold on.
Hold it there for me.
Don't move, please.
- There we go.
- There you go.
- Get the old - Thank you, thank you.
- Thank you, gentlemen.
- Thank you.
No wonder these pants are falling - it's all the weight I'm losing with this manual labour.
Bend that in.
Are you pulling it off? Tell you what HORN BEEPS .
.
it's going to need a bit of looking at, innit? Go on, Chris.
- Here we go.
- Oh! Not the end of the world.
Do they have many of these in Nepal? It'll still run without that on.
- Try and push it back over? - Yeah.
Come on.
I reckon you could do it on your own, Fred.
I might just stand back and watch.
- It's going.
- One more.
- Yes, Fred.
- That's going to be a bang now.
Good work.
That's not too bad.
Just a bit of a wheel arch, pull that out.
That's a good job, that is.
- I can't believe you're pulling your face.
- It's rubbing on the tyre.
- Pull it out, then.
- There you go.
- Like that? - Good job.
Right, can we get on now? Now you've wasted three hours of our time.
Actually, we couldn't.
The repairs to the Peugeot had cost us valuable daylight, and forced us to find the next place we could to stop for the night.
The next morning, our first job was to fuel up, and it's fair to say we weren't feeling totally match fit.
PADDY GROANS CREAKING Eventually.
Have you seen anything like this in your life before? Where's the petrol? Where do you put your diesel in? There? That's where I put it in? No, it's not.
PADDY LAUGHS Yeah, you just fill that up, Fred.
He is BLEEP hot on the cars, this lad.
- Where is it, then? - In a Land Rover, you roll the seat forward and the tank's underneath, and you fill it up there.
That's the top of the tank there, isn't it? - Why can't you just take that bung out there? - I've found it! THEY LAUGH Right, diesel.
Let's get it going.
PUMP WHIRS Are you going to fill up, or not? - What? - I can't fill up till you've filled up.
- Well - .
.
I've been trying to fill up.
- Why can't you? - Why can't I? - Yeah.
- Can you see the plastic gloves? I've looked everywhere.
Just fill up the bloody car.
There's no gloves.
I have to have the plastic gloves.
I've cut me arm.
Oh, you BLEEP! - Jesus Christ! - What's he done? - Yeah, Lurch had a bit of a - Right.
- FREDDIE LAUGHS - Oh, BLEEP! Oh, is it funny, Chris? It's not in my car, mate, so it is funny.
- Jesus! - What did I tell you about them plastic gloves? They'd have come in handy there, wouldn't they? Thank you.
There you go.
- Drive it out of the way, dickhead.
- No need for that.
Very bad manners.
It was going to be a long day.
But if we were going to avoid another rough night, we'd have to reach Jomsom through another 60 miles of gruelling mountain roads.
Slow and steady wins the race.
We were going to need all the help we could get, but thankfully, in the next village, we came across just the thing.
Hello, look at this.
As luck would have it, we'd found ourselves in Nepal on the one day of the year given over to celebrating the god of engineering.
What's this here? MAN SPEAKS SOFTLY WHISPERS: What's happening? They're praying.
They're blessing their cars.
Bishwakarma? - Yeah.
- I've got him on my dashboard.
- Have you? - You know the fella? The picture? - So now it makes sense? - Yeah.
And that's the reason why your car is the one that's not broken? I reckon we should get them blessed.
Can you bless our cars? Yeah? Please? Bonnets up.
Oi, Paddy, get your bonnet up.
We're going to bless the cars then, hopefully, your car might do another mile.
Ooh, that's hot.
That's hot! You don't get that in Halfords, do you? A DIY bless-your-car kit.
Lovely touch.
Put that on there.
On that.
Please bless my car and get me safely round Nepal to the Forbidden City.
Just blessing you as well.
Cos I want you to stay safe on these roads.
Yeah? Stay safe.
To Bishwakarma .
.
a bit of coconut milk.
I think he's responding to me.
- He is, look.
- You knobhead.
There should be more of this, blessing things like this.
Jesus Oh, yeah.
I'm sorry.
It's all right.
No, you took me by surprise, but that's all right.
Christ! How do you crack this, then? Can I put them in me car? I just want to get rid of the smell of the diesel.
- You can, but be careful, cos you'll be up like a Roman candle.
- Really? - Here, take three.
- Cheers, mate.
Fingers crossed.
With Lord Bishwakarma now well onside, we got back on the road.
Look at that! That isterrifying water.
But disappointingly Oh, no.
.
.
it soon became obvious Oh, no.
.
.
that the Peugeot 106 Rallye really wasn't his thing.
When's the blessings when you need it? - Are you stuck, Paddy? - Stuck! Fred, get that Mustang down here, son.
HORN BEEPS It's just as well I brought this.
If I'd have brought another daft city car, we'd be getting nowhere.
- Are you on? - Go! Go! Go! Go on, Paddy, here we go.
Tell you what, that Mustang, this is not a problem.
With Jomsom still a long way ahead of us, we pressed on up the gorge.
Tell you what, Paddy, it's about to get really bumpy up here.
It can't get any worse, can it? I think it just might be.
And with the Hulas already pulling the weight of the Peugeot CLANG! LOW RUMBLING .
.
our hopes were now pinned on the Renault somehow making it the rest of the way under its own steam.
Come on, Renault 4.
But we were at the tail end of monsoon season This is horrendous.
.
.
and overnight rains had left the roads in a treacherous state.
Come on, Chris, keep moving.
Keep moving, Chris! Come on, old girl.
Come on, old girl.
Come on, old girl.
Come on, you amazing little car.
Out of interest, which part of "city car" does this have anything to do with? But then things got even tougher.
Boys! Boys, just hold up a second here.
We've got to cross this river.
Have you seen what's going on to your right, Fred? I'm not crossing that bit, Chris.
That's a bit too deep, that.
Oh, my Up-up-up! Paddy, thoughts on this? Not a problem for your Renault, that.
All right.
In for a penny In for a penny GRINDING Oh, dear.
Spot of bother? Slight technical there, boys.
Could someone get back here quite quickly, please? The things I do for you.
- I can't get out here, Fred.
- Where shall I connect it? - It's underneath the front right.
- Well, get out and show me! - Why am I getting wet feet? - I can't get back in.
- You, go away! - I'm just watching the job.
Tell you what.
- We'll sort this out.
- I'm just We? You're stood on the sill of your car.
What's the "we" part? Right, it's coming in quite fast now.
I can't believe he's not got out.
Come on, Chris.
I tell you what.
This is beyond the call of duty, this.
I'm down in the river.
With the drowning Renault pulled to safety by the mighty Hulas Great work, Fred.
.
.
McGuinness went next with his own approach.
Right.
ENGINE REVS CLANKING CHRIS LAUGHS Bit of a technical! I'm coming back for you, Paddy.
Lovely stuff.
I don't want to add insult to injury, but have you not got a raincoat? Shut up.
And with the drowning Peugeot pulled to safety by the mighty Hulas I think I'm better off just staying attached.
.
.
we could finally crack on towards Jomsom.
I'll tell you what - the Hulas is coming into its own.
It's not flash, it's not fancy, it's not fast.
It's just a good, honest workhorse.
CHRIS GUFFAWS His four-by-four's stuck, and it's still going! This is the adventure I've always wanted.
I'm in a Renault 4 in Nepal, surrounded by massive four-by-fours.
It could end at any minute, and I might need assistance, but for now, I'm revelling in a little car doing things it shouldn't do.
It's magnificent! I tell you what.
There's a lot of people been behind me on this road behind me going, "My God, that Peugeot's doing well.
" FREDDIE LAUGHS PADDY GASPS AND GROANS That's not good.
This is not city living.
HE GROANS The next morning, we'd made it to Jomsom .
.
a city 9,000 feet high, sheltered by some of the world's tallest peaks, in one of the most remote regions of Nepal.
We'd reached our final staging post and with the climb to Lo Manthang now looming ahead of us, talk had turned to supplies for the journey.
You know I always bring my own provisions, but I'm struggling at the minute, cos all's I've got - I've got a pack - Caramacs! - No.
Keep going.
- Melted Galaxys.
- No.
- Come on, enlighten us.
Enlighten us.
- Pink wafers.
- You brought pink wafers with you? - A packet of pink wafers.
- Oh, my God! - It's not going to get us up the - mountains, though, that, is it? - Do you reckon Sir Edmund Hillary, - before he attempted to climb Mount Everest, said, "I want a pink wafer"? - He'd have done it quicker.
A sugar rush.
We need to stock up on provisions.
Get what you want.
Knock yourself out.
So, while Harris and Flintoff headed to the camping shop, I took charge of rations.
Glass cleaner.
Very important.
Ooh? Ah Yes.
Yes.
The elbow pads.
Need them.
Toothpaste, please.
Oh, what's this? That does look tempting.
Right.
Crampons.
I don't think we'll have any use for crampons, Chris.
- Why not? - Could do with some chairs.
Oh, I've always wanted some of these mountaineering specs.
- Oh, yeah.
- Let's have a look.
- I could conquer worlds in those.
So, you've got everything? Oh, you're cooking the chicken? Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Give that a Yeah.
That's it! People go on about slow cookers and rotisseries - that's how you cook a chicken.
These are tents.
But you know what Paddy's like, Mariah Carey.
- We should probably get him a big one.
- Oh, God! Bit of chicken juice in me eye there.
I'll just I'll stand over here while you're cutting that up.
Ooh! Yeah.
That's how I like it, medium rare, with the chicken.
Lovely stuff.
And with supplies sorted, next, I headed over to the camping shop to show the lads what they had to look forward to.
Paddy, your plan is, if we run out of food, we're going to eat - sanitary towels? - I've got you some chicken.
- What's that there? - That's a chicken.
- That's a chicken? - Yeah.
I've had it chopped up in the shop for you.
Three tents.
Two small tents, one big tent.
Do you think this constitutes being prepared? Cos all I read is stories about people dying through being, I quote, unprepared.
We've got toothpaste, sanitary towels, and chicken.
That's pretty prepared.
I'm not convinced, myself.
I think we've bought the wrong gear.
We've got drawn into it by McGuinness, as usual.
He has never been anywhere.
He's never camped anywhere.
- Oh! - Oh, here we go.
A challenge.
"As cities grow in the future, we're going to need to car share.
"To prove how good your city cars are at car pooling, "you'll now each give three commuters a lift to work "at the Muktinath Temple.
" - The what? - Muktinath Temple.
Sitting above us at 12,500ft, Muktinath Temple is one of the world's highest.
And to test how our cars cope with passengers on the daily grind, we would now have to reach it with a carful of local commuters.
And since he was basically driving a bus, Flintoff took the squad of heavily laden sherpas - Do you carry that up mountains? - Yeah, yeah.
- Really? - Best game.
Yeah.
.
.
McGuinness had the Jomsom branch of the WI Let me help you with this.
Let me help you with this, ladies.
Oh, God, it's heavy.
.
.
while I had the worrying responsibility of driving three holy men.
There we go.
After you.
With everyone on board, it was time to hit the road.
Almost.
DRUMMING AND SINGING She's lovely.
Hey-hey! Look at this.
A big procession of something.
- Love that.
- Let's have a go.
We got this.
It's like the dab, innit? Fred! And once the local parade was safely out of the way, then it was time to hit the road.
I've always suspected these bandanas are worn by idiots that want to look cool and they're actually not very comfortable.
You know what? The suspicion has proved correct.
It's coming off.
A terrible thing.
Now on our way to Muktinath, talk amongst our Nepalese car-sharers quickly turned to the national obsession.
- Do you like cricket? - Yeah.
- You like cricket? - Yeah.
Who is your favourite player? Tendulkar? Kohli? Did you recognise Mr Flintoff? - So the guy driving the car behind - Flintoff! .
.
is Freddie Flintoff.
Are you a batter or a bowler? - Bowler? - Yeah.
- You're fast? - Yeah.
- I tried to be fast.
- Yeah.
All-rounder? Yeah.
But for bowlingnot quick.
Medium pace.
I agree, medium pace.
Yeah.
But forget Test Match Special, because the Peugeot was flying.
Wey-hey! Hey? Now it comes into its own, this car.
Yes! - It's a sports car.
- Yeah, sports car.
- Very fast car.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the S1.
They do an S2, which is a 1.
6 engine.
This is only 1.
3, but this is the one you want.
This is the nippy one.
Oh, she loves it.
She loves the stats, eh? Stick with me, girls.
Yes.
Now we're cruising, boys.
Now we're cruising.
PADDY CHUCKLES They like their speed, these girls.
They like their speed.
Yay! While France's finest scampered on ahead, Flintoff was showing off his local wheels.
- The car - The car.
.
.
is made by Hulas.
A Nepalese company.
Company.
Yeah.
- Have you heard of it? - No.
Still, at least it was proving reliable.
Oh, his car's broke.
HISSING It's overheated, lads.
What's happening, Chris? The old TU engine has overheated.
Is that cos you were driving like a berk again? This is the first time I've been able to show what this car can do, really.
- What, nothing? - Fingers While we waited for the Peugeot to cool off, I nipped out for a comfort break.
But with my back turned, the temptation of the Rallye was to prove too much for one of our fellow car-sharers.
FREDDIE LAUGHS ENGINE REVS Yes.
Now this is brilliant.
- Where's the car? - The holy man's gone for a joy ride.
The holy man said he'd never driven a Rallye.
He'd driven an XSi, but he wanted to experience the lightweight, higher-revving model.
Is he a good driver? Is he a good driver? You don't know.
- He's not a clue! - These holy men are loose.
- I bet he's driving it better than Paddy did.
- Yeah.
It's good this, running, 3,000 metres up.
COUGHS Slow down! Paddy, tell him he's got a high lift camshaft that comes on about five.
Eventually, McGuinness caught up with his Peugeot, and we got back on the road to Muktinath Temple .
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which was quite scenic.
Look to the right.
Wow.
Oh, my word, look at that! Oh, look at this! And as we climbed up out of the valley, we came across something even more remarkable.
- Road - Ohh! - Very good.
- Tarmac roads? - Yeah.
Oh, feel the Feel the silence.
ENGINE ROARS There he goes.
McGuinness.
In the 106.
HE LAUGHS You can't begrudge him a go in that.
He's suffered the off-road for days.
Come on! This is what this car was built for, girls! Whoo! Now, well beyond 12,000ft, we were gradually closing in on the temple.
But then, with just a mile to go Ah.
What's McGuinness doing? Pull in.
- Why have we stopped? - Pull in.
Handbrake BLEEP! - You all right? - Yeah.
What's up? Gentlemen! CHRIS GASPS Bit warm? Good news.
The golden girls in the back of me car say I'm not too far away, so I thought, as we're here, - we could have a little gentlemen's race.
- Right.
Classic rally stage, this.
Peugeot versus Renault versus big, weird Nepalese tank thing.
But I know this one's a little bit quicker - I'm going to give you a 30-second head start.
So, ultimate commuter car-share bragging rights would now be decided by a one-mile hill climb, finishing at the top of the road in the temple car park.
Are you all set? Three, two, one, go! Lightning.
Wow! Bye! Come on, the Renault.
Right.
Oh, we've got a lead.
We're ahead of the Hulas.
Come on.
This is not what this car was designed for.
I'm just going to get a little bit more ventilation in the front of the car.
Oh, look at that.
Peugeot badge has gone.
Oh, me door's open! We're dropping the Hulas.
His door's come open.
Right, ladies, hold on to your Ps.
There you are.
That's a Peugeot badge there.
What? FREDDIE LAUGHS Shut the door! Let's do it! We've got to catch them! Yes, exactly! - Very good.
- Oh, he's never going to catch us, boys.
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh! ENGINE REVS Tight bend there, that's OK.
No sign of Paddy yet.
I can't see McGuinness.
Come on, the Hulas! HORN BEEPS There's Flintoff! Get round this lad.
HE LAUGHS Whoa-ho! Oh, I can see Harris.
HORN BEEPS - Come on! - Come on! - This is Peugeot versus Renault.
- Come on! Come on! Oh, he's trying to block me off.
Oh, that's very rude.
Oh, classic! Classic! Yeah! Whoo! Whoo! Yeah! Paddy's called the race.
I've got all his kit in the back.
I've got Chris's kit in the back.
I've got the camping equipment.
I've got the Sherpa gear, I've got the Sherpas.
Forget Flintoff's excuses.
HORN BEEPS Victory went to the 106.
The Peugeot has not let us down! And with the other two bringing up the rear Where's the finish line? .
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we finally had our commuters safely delivered.
Your tomatoes Before heading on, we decided to make the short, steep trek up to the temple itself .
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keen to experience the spiritual cleansing power of Muktinath's legendary 108 taps.
I think what happens is, the water comes down a waterfall, and in the temple, it's divided off into these taps, and you go under every one to be blessed.
- What, we have to walk through 108 taps? - 108 taps.
In fact, Muktinath is one of the most sacred sites in all of Nepal - That's a solid bell, that is.
- BELL CLANGS .
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something that was completely lost on McGuinness.
I realise we're in a really holy place, and everything else, but there is something about, when I hear that noise, I instantly want to get to the bar for lasties.
You're comparing a holy shrine to a Wetherspoons? No, no, I never said that.
I said, whenever I hear a bell.
Despite having the world's most uncultured man with us, amazingly, they let us in.
And after a quick change, we were ready to let the ice-cold cleansing begin.
BELL CLANGS Oh, it's fresh, lads.
Ohh! Oh-ho! PADDY SHIVERS PADDY MUTTERS HE GASPS Now, while McGuinness was out to set some sort of lap record HE GASPS HE YELLS .
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Flintoff was keen to get us the full temple experience.
Om Namah Shivaya.
- Om? - Namah Shivaya.
BOTH: Om Namah Shivaya.
ALL: Om Namah Shivaya.
- That's it.
Soak it up.
- Om Namah Shivaya! This is doing you good.
Om Namah Shivaya.
I'm far from warm, mate.
You're nearly there, son.
Come on, get rid of the last sins.
- That's it, lovely stuff.
- Om Namah Shivaya.
PADDY LAUGHS - Om Namah Shivaya.
- HE LAUGHS Spirits cleansed, it was time to make our way back down the valley, where straight away, Flintoff got stuck into a bit ofuncleansing.
Here we go, Paddy.
Oh, BLEEP! HE SPITS Dirty bastard! We were now heading to the bottom of the vast Kali Gandaki Gorge.
Miles from anywhere, our next job was to find somewhere to camp for the night, and for some reason, Sir Ranulph McGuinness insisted on picking the site.
This is nice, innit? What did I tell you? I'll find us a nice flat spot.
This is the worst camp spot I've ever seen.
I-I don't camp that much, but what you want is a dry, even, non-rocky surface.
- What we've got is a sodden, uneven rocky surface.
- Mm.
Just three men in a riverbed doing a bit of camping, hey? Goodnight.
- Why have they carpeted the roof? - Insulation.
One thing with that car, though, on the tarmac today, it wasn't really enjoying it on the corners cos it's so top-heavy.
But as soon as you get off road, I reckon that thing's virtually unstoppable.
Two-wheel drive but four-by-four capabilities.
- HE LAUGHS - Hey? The moment you say the word capabilities, you sound like a Vauxhall salesman.
- I've had a terrifying thought.
- Hmm? In the event of the 106 breaking down - who gets? - Oh, God! - We've got to get that car round.
- Yeah, we have.
- We really have.
Mission Keep The 106 Going Whatever.
The next morning, at last, the Forbidden City was edging within reach, just a tantalising 40 miles to the north.
But every inch of our ascent to Lo Manthang would now be a battle against power-sapping altitude, relentless inclines and whatever the road ahead would become.
This might have been the home stretch, but it was going to be the hardest.
Paddy, what are you wearing? It's cos the roads are so dusty.
Did you not pack one? You look like a CBeebies version of Bane.
I'll take that.
I think today's going to be a grueller, lads.
I think we're going to be climbing all day.
I really want to get these three cars to that finishing line.
I want to get them to Lo Manthang in one piece.
Let's just stick together and help each other out today.
And so, determined to reach our goal together, we began the long climb It's much steeper than I thought.
.
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with no idea how the cars would cope.
- Are you all right, Chris? - I am crawling now.
ENGINE REVS Get the Hulas up here.
The Hulas will have to push me to push you.
He won't push both of us.
Come on, Fred, give it a whirl.
Let's try both of us.
OK? CRASH! Oh! Here we go.
Pushing two cars.
We're off! # Do-do-do, come on and do the conga Do-do-do SMASH! Jesus! HE LAUGHS FREDDIE LAUGHS What have you done to me window? I thought I'd let a bit of air in for you.
HE LAUGHS And those are the results of the spirit of adventure.
You are an idiot.
How How has that happened? Oh, no.
- Hey, it were working, though.
- No, it wasn't.
You were pushing us then.
I stopped because your back window went through.
You only stopped cos of the back window.
- Come on, give it another go.
- Give it another go? Ow! Ooh.
Oh, come on, man! Harris is not going to be happy! Amazingly, the world's slowest pile-up had kept the convoy moving Lovely bit of teamwork, lads.
.
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but as we climbed higher, what was most amazing of all was the little 106 just kept getting better.
Go on, Peugeot! Go on, the 106.
Go on, go on! Whoo! That's how you get up a hill! Here it comes, the Hulas.
We just keep climbing and climbing.
Harris has got no chance.
- This is sketchy as hell.
- How are you getting on, Chris? Go on, the Renault.
Come on.
Come on! Keep going, Chris.
Come on! WHEELS SPIN - Oh - Do you want me to come back, Chris? Yeah, it's not happening, boys.
I just haven't got enough power.
You're definitely going to need a tug off Flintoff.
Which, thanks to the Renault's increasingly iffy handbrake I'm really not enjoying this now.
.
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and the hammering the Hulas had been taking GRINDING Wow.
.
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was getting more and more difficult.
- Paddy! - What? Do you fancy getting in here and doing the clutch? My handbrake's knackered, so I've got to keep my left foot on the brake.
What do you reckon? - In for it? - Yeah.
- What's going on here? - I'm doing the clutch.
Chris, you're putting your life in our two hands.
You could not be in a safer place, son.
Whoa! HE SIGHS - Right - Across - That's first.
- Yeah.
- Right.
Are you going to let off the clutch? - Yeah.
Are you? Are you? - Are you in gear? - Yeah.
You ready? Oh, God.
- What gear are you in there? - First.
- Are you sure? - Over and down.
- Put it in neutral.
Lads, how do we feel that went? ENGINE STARTS There she goes.
Right.
- Good work, boys.
She started.
- Right, that's in first.
Yes, baby.
Here we go.
This is the way.
A bit of me doesn't like being towed because it feels like failure.
But this isn't a race, so therefore, I can allow them to help me.
Having picked up the Renault Come on, the 106.
.
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we got back to the ascent.
Jeez, look at that.
And before long, the road threw up its next challenge.
This bit's a bit tricky, boys.
Seriously tricky.
Hard.
This is tough going.
Oh, that's high.
Oh, now, come on.
That is ridiculous.
Seriously, boys, this is This isfrightening up here.
Jesus.
Oh, that's too much.
I mean, literally, there was just enough room to get the car through.
And if it was tight for the Peugeot Come on.
.
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then getting the Hulas through would be a big ask.
I quite want this to end now.
Come on.
CLANKING Come on.
Come on, Harris.
Come on, Harris, get through now, son.
Come on, Harris.
That was unpleasant.
Thank you, Paddy.
Good work, boys.
Good work.
I know it's all fun and a laugh and that, but this is proper.
This is One mistake and you're gone.
In my case, one mistake from me and we're both gone.
But the road wasn't finished with us yet.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no! What?! We are so close to the edge here.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That is juststupid.
- Are you ready, Chris? - As I'll ever be.
Ohh! Wow! Oh, my Lord! What are we doing this for? This is ridiculous.
I'm not even going to lie about this and try and style it out.
Me heart's pounding.
I'm driving up a waterfall.
Agh! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Whoa! It's done it! Yes! Yes, it's done it! Come on.
Come on, come round.
Bring it round.
What I would do for a better turning circle right now.
WHEELS SPIN Oh, God.
Ohh! Agh! Oh, God.
What's round the corner there, Paddy? What's round the corner? Just give me a minute.
Yes! Yes! Yes, come on! - Come on, the Hulas.
- Come on, come on! Jeez, this is bonkers! This is daft.
For the first time in my working life, having done lots of silly things in cars, I just want to send my .
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my kids a message, cos I'm quite scared.
We'd made it up the pass, and with the road flattening out, the Hulas had earned itself a break.
So with the Renault cut loose again, together we kept rolling on towards Lo Manthang.
That's got to be one of the most hair-raising experiences I've ever had, that.
Have you driven anything like that before, Chris? No, never.
Never, ever, ever.
I didn't even know roads like this existed, never mind us driving on them.
Considering we're in city cars, I don't know how we've got this far.
This Forbidden City had better be good, that's all I'm saying.
Our respite from the ascent would prove to be short-lived, though.
Come on, Renault 4.
As we crossed into the next valley, the road had started to climb again.
Fred, I can't believe I'm saying this, but please can you give me a push? Come on, Harris.
Oh, God! This is getting stupid now.
I can't go anywhere.
Go on, Harris.
Push through.
That's literally all I've got.
I think the engine's dying.
I'll just keep pushing, Chris.
We'll get it round.
I'm over this now.
Desperate to get this Renault and Harris round.
Can't push him all day.
I'm going to ruin his car.
CLANKING AND GRINDING Fred, hook me up and just tow me.
This is ridiculous.
It's just destroying the back of my car.
All right, I'll get the ropes out, mate.
You want to back round here and I'll just pull up a bit further up? CLANK! Whoa, whoa! Paddy! What the hell? What the hell? What the hell?! What the hell?! CLANKING - Fred? - I thought you was in it.
What are you doing? Oh, come on.
So the handbrake's been sticky all the time.
I had it in gear.
I couldn't get in it in time.
- Rock behind the tyre? - No, I was on the handbrake.
It wasn't that steep where I was.
Let's try and push it over.
Tell you what, it's coming out here, Chris.
Look at this.
- OK, that's oil from the engine.
- Come on.
- Or coolant or something.
Ready? - Yeah.
- Do we have to bump it? - Yeah.
- Go on.
What about if we put something under? Oh, Jesus.
- That's a Fanta.
- A splash of Fanta.
That's all right.
- Get the Hulas and just drag it over.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- There you go, about there will do.
- Paddy! The rope! Put them round the pillars? No.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to go through, over the roof, and down through there and into the cabin.
- OK? Go.
- Yeah, go on.
- I've no idea what this is going to do.
- Go! - Go, go, go! Go! METAL SCREECHES Yeah, yeah! Oh, that's not looking good, pal.
How much have we lost? That's not even half a litre, is it? I think we'll give it a go, boys.
Crank it over and pump the throttle at the same time.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Might need a while to get some fuel through it.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS - You can hear it, can't you? - You can smell the fuel a bit now.
We're getting some fuel in.
Go again, Fred.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Keep going, Fred.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Now there's fuel in there now.
Go.
Now give it a start.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS Crank her, Fred.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS And again.
ENGINE SPLUTTERS She's going to go.
I know she's going to go.
She's going to go.
- Listen.
- She's going to - I don't think she is, pal.
Chris, I hate to be the one to do this, but I think we have to call it.
It's gone.
- If we just keep cranking it - No.
It's a shame, cos I've grown very fond of this car.
I think we all have.
I know how much it means to you, but you appreciate that's what we have to do? Yeah, but, you know, when you have a companion for a journey, you're pretty reluctant to let them go, aren't you? So this was it.
After five days of punishment .
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and now just ten miles short of the finish Bit more.
.
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the Renault 4's journey was done.
Stick a rock behind t'tyre.
- I've learned that now.
- Yeah.
- Come on, Chris, get in.
Got to look on the positives, Chris.
Just think how far that Renault's come.
It wasn't designed for this.
It was designed to nip to the boulangerie in France.
In the countryside.
Not up the mountains of Nepal.
You should be proud.
Just a bit gutted, Fred.
Just thought it would make it.
- It gave everything it had.
- Yeah.
- It's left nothing.
- Better to have loved and lost, eh, Fred? - Oh God.
GEARS GRIND Course.
And that is an amazing end to a life.
Just imagine if your life was an MOT failure, - and then a quick trip to the knacker's yard.
- I agree.
That has ended its life halfway up a Himalayan mountain.
MUSIC: Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien by Edith Piaf See, you're coming round to it now, aren't you? I am.
I'm looking on the positive side.
You're seeing it as it should be, I reckon.
And everything I'm saying has been tempered by a new-found respect I've got for you.
I had no idea - what a wrestling match this was.
- It is.
GEARS GRIND It's an absolute dog to drive.
It's as much a workout as a drive, isn't it? - Can I let you into a little secret as well? - Yes, Fred.
You know you put all that faith in towing, letting me tow you? Yeah.
You were good at that.
It's the first time I've done it in my life.
We've got to be near now.
We've got to be! - We've got to be close.
- We have to.
I mean, there is nothing up here.
And then Oh, I can see Look at that over there.
- Why's he going there? - I don't know.
We'll just follow him.
Look at that! .
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we finally found our prize.
- Wow.
- That must be it.
- That must be it.
- That's Lo Manthang? That's pretty spectacular if it is.
A city in the middle of all this mountain range.
Well, we've got the city cars.
Let's go down to the Forbidden City.
Come on.
Wait till they get a load of us! Come on, Peugeot! You ready? - Are you ready, Chris? - Fred! - Come on, Chris! HE LAUGHS Whoa, whoa! Ho-ho! They do not make this place accessible, do they?! This might be it, boys.
This might be our moment.
I think we're here! The Forbidden City of Lo Manthang.
Come on, we're going through the arches.
- That - Go on, the Hulas! - .
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was a long drive.
- We're in, Chris.
- That was a long drive.
- We're in.
I'm high-fiving you in my car! Give me one back.
Yes, Paddy! This medieval walled settlement is home to less than 1,000 people, its narrow streets closed to foreign visitors until just 28 years ago.
Even today, its remote location means few travellers ever venture to its gates.
This is cool.
This is cool.
And now our finish line lay just a few hundred yards away at a festival in the main square.
Gone to town here.
They've got the ticker tape parade in.
We'd reached the end of the ultimate commute.
Boys, I can't believe we've done it.
Well, almost.
Oh, hang on a minute.
Dear God, this is tight.
How are you going to get this through there? Come on, Chris, breathe in.
Turns out we had one more test to overcome.
- How the hell? - Oh, no.
- No, no.
- This is tight, boys.
I'm going to have to come out and have another run at it.
The main square was on the other side of a narrow gateway I know what I'm going to do.
I'm going to back it in.
.
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and only a true city car would be able to pass through to reach it.
Hard round.
Come on.
That's it.
Stop.
Stop, stop.
You're going to hit this beam! What beam? I didn't see that.
This wing mirror - I have to kick this wing mirror off.
Let it bend back.
The 106 had just about squeaked through.
Hard round now.
Give it all the lock now.
But for the Hulas, things were looking tight.
Could do with some power steering.
Come in, come in! - Fred.
- Yeah? - Not a chance, mate.
- I want to get in the square.
- You can't go back.
- If I go forward, I get a bit of room, I can do it.
- There's no chance.
- Really? I swear to God, cos there's a bit you haven't seen, which I didn't see.
See them two red pillars in there? It goes narrower.
I started in Kathmandu.
And I'm four foot from finishing.
I am not staying here when the finish line is there.
Watch and learn, Harris.
I've never met anyone as stubborn in my life.
Oh, ho! Here we go! - Oh, that's just ridiculous.
- What? He's not? I'm through! - No, you're not.
- Finish line.
Technically, Fred, you're not in.
I'm in.
I'm in.
I'm in.
He wasn't.
The simple truth was the Hulas had finally met an obstacle it couldn't overcome.
Come on, Fred.
I'm coming.
In the five days since leaving Kathmandu, our cars had covered the most arduous miles of their lives.
They'd suffered breakdowns and failures.
But working together, they'd claimed victories we had no right to expect of them.
- It's done it! - Wow! - Amazing little car! In the end, the journey had proved too much for some.
But we'd come to Nepal to find the ultimate city car.
Yeah! Yeah! Wow.
And, ultimately, the Forbidden City had made its choice.
- We've done it! - That was amazing.
That was amazing.
- Yeah! - That was a great effort.
Look at this! Wonderful! - Thank you.
- Thank you.
Namaste.
Oh, look at that! He's crowned the winner.
- It's got the gold scarf on it, Chris! - On that, Paddy, I'll give it you.
- Peugeot wins.
- You can't argue with the man.