King of the Hill s01e09 Episode Script
4E10 - Peggy the Boggle Champ
[Theme music.]
PEGGY: Now, Minh, the game of Boggle is really quite simple.
The goal is to make words out of these 25 letter cubes.
[Cubes rattling.]
Bametomyam.
It's gotta be a real word, honey.
Yes.
Bametomyam.
Thai spicy noodle soup.
Tasty and delicious.
I tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday, playing that Boggle.
It's a beautiful day.
She ought to be outside, hanging my laundry.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday! And Saturday.
It's the 9th Annual Dallas Mower Expo.
Be there, as the biggest names in mowers unveil the latest grass-cutting technology.
Thrill to the spectacle of the Snapper Precision-Mowing Team! See King Mulch take on a Texas-sized pile of twigs! Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold! Don't miss the Dallas Mower Expo! Be there! PEGGY: "Pad Thai" doesn't count, Minh.
I guess I win again.
Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don't know could fill a dictionary.
The Elks are having a Boggle tournament to raise bail money for their treasurer.
Maybe you should enter.
Me? Oh, fish.
I just play for fun.
Minh, you owe me $13.
Thank you for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill.
Maybe next week I teach you mahjong.
Bring your checkbook! Hank, I'm thinking of entering a Boggle tournament over at the Elks.
Boggle? Boy, the Elks will do anything for a dollar.
Are they still playing that game where the cow's gotta drop dung in a square? Boggle is nothing like Cow Bingo, Hank.
Boggle is a game of wits.
Now, Cow Bingo is a game of strategy.
[Boggle cubes rattling.]
Hoo-yeah! All right, Peggy, I replaced my watch battery, ate a Cinnabon and bought a P-trap.
I can't kill any more time.
Let's go.
Shh, Hank.
It is only Round 5.
[Sighs.]
"Impatient.
" Okay, that's time.
Pencils down.
Let's tote 'em up.
I hope you don't mind, but I only used words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.
[Grunting.]
[Snoring.]
Oh, little sick boy.
Would you like me to find your name in the next Boggle? Okay.
Hoo-yeah! Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.
I guess that's why they call her your better half.
Who calls her that? They.
And I hope that your leg gets better real soon Zachary Quinn Jr.
[Crowd hooting.]
MAN: How does she do it? LUANNE: Oh, my goodness! Congratulations! BOBBY: You won, Mom! Looks like someone is gonna have to clear some room on his trophy shelf.
HANK: Hey, easy, Peggy.
That's my MVP trophy.
Mom's trophy is bigger than yours.
Oh, pooh.
I don't care about the trophy.
The real honor is getting to represent Arlen in the State Boggle Championship.
You're going to State? That is so exciting! Just like when Uncle Hank went to State for high school football.
Oh, yeah.
It's exactly like that, Luanne.
PEGGY: Oh, well, it might not be football, but there are over 200 competitors and you're allowed to bring a coach.
You wanna be my coach? A Boggle coach? What would I do? You don't have to do anything.
You just have to be there.
Unless you want me to go off to Dallas by myself.
Dallas? I don't want you going to Dallas at all! That place is crawling with crackheads and debutantes! Half of them play for the Cowboys.
Come on, Hank.
It's just for the weekend.
We'll be back on Sunday.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Guess who's going to the mower show? If you guess right, you can come with me.
It's you.
Right? Did I win? Am I going? Boy, how'd you manage to swing that with Peggy? She don't like mowers like we like mowers.
Simple.
I found a Boggle tournament in Dallas to keep her busy, while we have some real fun.
Check it out, man.
Talk about road trip.
The Big D Motel, man.
You're talking about "The biggest names in mowers and clippers! Be there!" Man, it's gonna be fun.
[Horn honking.]
Let's go, Peggy! We gotta get to Dallas before the gangs wake up! PEGGY: Hank! Shh! It's 4:00 a.
m.
Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy? I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep and then write a paper on it.
In a minute, honey.
Now, it is very important that we know we can trust you two.
Now, no parties while we're gone.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
[Yawning.]
On behalf of the Arlen Boggle Boosters I'd like to present you with this jacket.
Good luck, Peggy! W-l-N! I promise to make Dairy King, Mr.
Lube, and Rivera Sump Pumps proud! This weekend, Peggy Hill is gonna put Arlen, Texas, on the map! Okay, Peggy Hill.
Good luck and maybe goodbye.
Maybe? Where I come from, either you come home a winner or you not come home at all! Good luck, Peggy Hill.
Goodbye.
[Piano music on TV.]
- What are you watching? - Risky Business.
Luanne, that movie's got bad words and adult situations.
Not anymore.
I rented it at Blockbuster.
I also got a fire-safety video starring Chuck Mangione! Want to watch? No, thanks.
I'm kinda in the middle of doing laundry.
Okay.
But remember Chuck says, "Always unplug your iron after use.
" BOBBY: Thanks for the tip.
It's okay, honey.
Valet parking is included in the price of the room.
I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.
He's just itching to take my truck for a joyride.
[Sighs.]
[Elevator dings.]
[Peggy gasping.]
PEGGY: Oh, Hank! It's lovely.
Look at that.
Look, everyone.
It's Peggy Hill.
Boggle champ of Arlen, Texas.
JOAN: I'm Joan, Boggle Hospitality Coordinator.
Here's your tournament tote bag, a schedule of events, and a Boggle lei.
[Clears throat.]
Joan, this is my husband, Hank.
Wonderful! We have tons of activities to occupy you while Peggy plays Boggle.
You look like you could use a wallet.
Would you like to make a wallet? I don't think so.
Harley Davidson already made one for me.
Now, Hank is not just my husband.
He is also my coach.
Well, then you'll be needing one of these.
Come on, Peggy.
There's a Parker Brother I want you to meet.
TV: So take it from me, Chuck Mangione unplugging the iron feels so good! Can you dig it? LUANNE: Bobby, wait! Use a coaster! Uh-oh.
What have you done? That coffee table is trashed! Your parents trusted us, Bobby, and we let them down.
They won't be home for 48 hours! I'll think of something.
Hey, I got it! You think of something.
HANK: I'm checking in.
The name's Hank Hill.
- Nope, I have a Peggy Hill.
- Yeah, that's it.
Hank and Peggy Hill.
I have a Peggy Hill.
She's my wife! Oh, okay.
"Mr.
And Mrs.
Peggy Hill.
" Now, you listen to me! The name is Hank Hill! Mr.
Hank Hill! Peggy married me! I didn't marry her! What are you looking at? Oh, look, Peggy, it's Cissy Cobb Boggle champion of Dallas for seven non-consecutive years.
PEGGY: Oh, excuse me, Cissy.
I am fellow Boggle champ, Peggy Hill.
My, my.
What an interesting jacket.
Did you patch that together yourself? Actually, it was given to me by the Arlen Boggle Boosters.
They got local businesses to sponsor my trip.
Oh, how exciting.
Why, you're at the very beginning of a rags-to-riches story.
[Raucous laughter.]
BOBBY: Okay.
The guy at Home Depot said all we gotta do is strip, sand, varnish, buff, varnish buff, varnish, wax, buff.
Oh, God! Your parents are gonna be home in 47 hours! Hurry! No! BOBBY: That was close.
BURNETT: Why, hello there, Peggy Hill.
Name's Burnett, Cissy Cobb's husband-coach.
Actually, my name You don't have to explain.
I got an uncle named Leslie.
And the Duke himself, John Wayne, was really named Marion.
You take that back! BOBBY: The stain's not coming out! I'm gonna put it on high.
[Vacuum cleaner struggling.]
[Gasping.]
[Boggle cubes rattling.]
PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
I have dreamt of this moment ever since I reached ages-8-and-up.
Yeah.
So I'll see you at dinner.
I gotta get to the mower show.
You can't leave now.
You are my coach.
I need you.
You, of all people, should understand, I am at State.
This is my moment.
You know, when I close my eyes, I see myself in the winner's circle.
And you are right there next to me.
My coach.
My man.
And we drive back to Arlen with that big-ass Boggle trophy mounted on the hood of your old truck like some beautiful, gold-plated bare-breasted, Rolls Royce angel! Well, when I close my eyes, I see myself at the mower show and you're there, too, like some beauty queen of yore wearing a fur coat and a gold hat.
Oh, all right! I'll stay.
EMCEE: Coaches, please clear the gaming floor! Oh, I forgot.
Coaches have to watch from a closed-circuit TV room.
Hold my purse? Well, hello, Patches.
You must be here for your Boggle lesson.
EMCEE: Bogglers, take your marks! [Cubes rattling.]
Oh, yeah.
[Electronic beep.]
[Digital timer beeping.]
[Timer buzzes.]
Vowel cubes are running cold.
Coaches note.
It's a good day for "sometimes Y.
" Hey, Cobb, for $7.
50, I can ride the mower that cut the Grassy Knoll.
"Patina, pendant, panoply, and lobster.
" Cissy Cobb, 73 points! Peggy Hill, your words, please.
"Dang.
" [Raucous laughter.]
"Dang" is not a word! That's just some backwoods patois.
Winner, Cissy Cobb! 73-0.
Dang.
I am so stupid! Oh, you're not stupid.
Heck, you're smarter than me.
Oh, big deal.
Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Arlen.
Well, whoop-dee-doo! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbilly Town! I'm trying, Peggy, I just You know, Coach said something that would fire us up when we were behind.
Yeah? What? Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well, you should be, 'cause you are dirt! You make me sick, you big baby! Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle? Why are you yelling at me? I'm trying to be your coach! It's inspiring.
Well, thank you.
'Cause I feel worse than ever.
Well, it worked for the team.
PEGGY: No, it didn't.
You went to State and lost.
Oh, jeez.
I think I need one of those $8 beers.
PEGGY: You were right, Hank.
I am a loser.
I am 255 out of 256.
Oh, come on now.
You're still doing better than Boggle Playing Chicken.
EMCEE: Coaches! Please clear the gaming floor.
Well, I guess that's my cue.
You want me to hold your purse? Fine.
This shouldn't take very long anyway.
BILL: Wow, would you look at this place? I feel like the Pretty Woman.
DALE: Hank? Oh! Hi, guys.
- What are you doing with that purse? - I'm holding it for Peggy.
Uh-huh.
Come on, man.
We're missing the mower show! Let's go! Well, maybe tomorrow.
What's going on here, Hank? I got a pretty good dang old idea what's going on.
I tell you what, man.
It's a [Makes whipping noise.]
Two days ago, you were like a little boy, all excited about the mower show.
Now, you're this strange man holding a purse.
Which is it, Hank? Are you some kind of man? Or are you a little boy? I am still a little boy, damn it! And I am still excited about going to the mower show.
Come on, let's go! [Sighing.]
[Timer buzzes.]
Winner, Peggy Hill! Oh, I don't believe it! You played a great game.
ANNOUNCER: And on display in Booth 5, the blade from Slingblade.
DALE: "Liberace's Mower, no flash photography.
" [Plastic balls rattling.]
BOBBY: You sure you can get that ring out? I can't afford any more screwups.
I just spent my last dollar on deodorizing carpet sealant.
What color is that? Is that Eggshell White? It's gotta be Swiss Coffee! Oh, baby! Oh, man! [Cubes rattling.]
Winner, Peggy Hill! Winner, Peggy Hill! Winner, Peggy Hill! I did it! Guess what, Hank? We are going to the finals! Look at old Boomhauer, rolling and dodging and such.
BOOMHAUER: Dang! Somebody pick up that dang old rock! I tell you, I haven't had this much fun since our last football road trip.
Remember? When we went to State? And even old Peg was there.
Remember? Yeah, I remember.
Cheering her heart out when we were down 28-0.
Man, this dang old piece of crap.
Dang old blocked up.
Get the grass out.
There it is.
[Screams.]
I ain't got no fingers! JOAN: I'm sorry, Peggy.
We have to start the finals.
Okay.
As soon as I find my husband.
I mean, coach.
He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.
CISSY: Don't kid yourself.
He's probably too embarrassed to watch me beat you.
PEGGY: Cissy Cobb? That's right, Patches! Looks like it's you and me in the finals.
[Raucous laughter.]
Hank? BRENT: Hello, and welcome to the Texas State Boggle Championships.
We're coming to you live on the Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality Channel I'm Brent Steel and with me is Boggle grand master, Alexi Golgarin.
Thanks, Brent.
This should be a great final match.
Two great Bogglers.
Only one will be winner.
All right, it's gonna be best of three.
I want a clean game.
No foreign words.
No foreign objects.
Shake! PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
BRENT: Cissy Cobb is off to an excellent start in Round 1.
ALEXl: Peggy Hill hesitated.
That's going to cost her at least a four-letter word.
BRENT: There goes Peggy Hill's pencil! ALEXl: With no coach, she's really at a disadvantage.
BRENT: Incredible! What a scrapper! What a save! [Timer buzzing.]
BRENT: The players will now read their word lists, starting with Peggy Hill.
"Sad, abandoned, abandons "bad, man" BRENT: We're in the final round of this championship match and Peggy Hill is far behind.
Peggy! ALEXl: Peggy Hill is down to her last pencil.
She has no more pencils in reserve.
Everything rides on this pencil! BRENT: This is awful.
I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.
[Sighing.]
Hank! Where the hell have you been? It doesn't matter where I've been.
I figured out where I should be.
Now, let's show them how we play Boggle in Arlen! Whatever you say, Coach! Hoo-yeah! [Uplifting instrumental music.]
[Timer buzzes.]
BRENT: Peggy Hill was writing up a storm.
But will it be enough? "Caviar, chinchilla, harpsichord.
" ALEXl: What confidence.
She wrote "harpsichord.
" But not "harp" and not "chord.
" A very bold gambit.
[Clears throat.]
"Fish, fishes, slaw" BRENT: Peggy Hill is using the opposite strategy.
A long list of short words to narrow the gap.
"churn, churns "apron, aprons" BRENT: She needs 10 more points, and she only has one word remaining.
"Ain't"? "Ain't" is not a word! I win! It ain't "ain't," Cissy Cobb.
The word is "acquaintanceship" as in, "It was not my pleasure to make your acquaintanceship.
" I win! BRENT: What an incredible upset! Peggy Hill is the new Texas State Boggle champion! Now, a description of the hotel fire safety procedures with Chuck Mangione.
You did it, Peggy, just like you said! You're in the winner's circle! And you are right beside me, Hank.
Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well, you should be! You know, there's something Coach said he would do if we ever won the big game.
Oh, yeah? What's that? BOBBY: Let's go! Let's go! My parents are gonna be home any minute! What the hell is going on here? [Rock music playing on stereo.]
This party is officially over! You kids get out of here before I call your parents! I don't know how you two could be so irresponsible.
You are both grounded.
What were you thinking? You've got school tomorrow!
PEGGY: Now, Minh, the game of Boggle is really quite simple.
The goal is to make words out of these 25 letter cubes.
[Cubes rattling.]
Bametomyam.
It's gotta be a real word, honey.
Yes.
Bametomyam.
Thai spicy noodle soup.
Tasty and delicious.
I tell you, I hate to see Nancy cooped up all Sunday, playing that Boggle.
It's a beautiful day.
She ought to be outside, hanging my laundry.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday! And Saturday.
It's the 9th Annual Dallas Mower Expo.
Be there, as the biggest names in mowers unveil the latest grass-cutting technology.
Thrill to the spectacle of the Snapper Precision-Mowing Team! See King Mulch take on a Texas-sized pile of twigs! Over 10,000 oil paintings must be sold! Don't miss the Dallas Mower Expo! Be there! PEGGY: "Pad Thai" doesn't count, Minh.
I guess I win again.
Boy, Aunt Peg, the words I don't know could fill a dictionary.
The Elks are having a Boggle tournament to raise bail money for their treasurer.
Maybe you should enter.
Me? Oh, fish.
I just play for fun.
Minh, you owe me $13.
Thank you for Boggle lesson, Peggy Hill.
Maybe next week I teach you mahjong.
Bring your checkbook! Hank, I'm thinking of entering a Boggle tournament over at the Elks.
Boggle? Boy, the Elks will do anything for a dollar.
Are they still playing that game where the cow's gotta drop dung in a square? Boggle is nothing like Cow Bingo, Hank.
Boggle is a game of wits.
Now, Cow Bingo is a game of strategy.
[Boggle cubes rattling.]
Hoo-yeah! All right, Peggy, I replaced my watch battery, ate a Cinnabon and bought a P-trap.
I can't kill any more time.
Let's go.
Shh, Hank.
It is only Round 5.
[Sighs.]
"Impatient.
" Okay, that's time.
Pencils down.
Let's tote 'em up.
I hope you don't mind, but I only used words that appear in Patsy Cline lyrics.
[Grunting.]
[Snoring.]
Oh, little sick boy.
Would you like me to find your name in the next Boggle? Okay.
Hoo-yeah! Boy, that wife of yours is pretty good.
I guess that's why they call her your better half.
Who calls her that? They.
And I hope that your leg gets better real soon Zachary Quinn Jr.
[Crowd hooting.]
MAN: How does she do it? LUANNE: Oh, my goodness! Congratulations! BOBBY: You won, Mom! Looks like someone is gonna have to clear some room on his trophy shelf.
HANK: Hey, easy, Peggy.
That's my MVP trophy.
Mom's trophy is bigger than yours.
Oh, pooh.
I don't care about the trophy.
The real honor is getting to represent Arlen in the State Boggle Championship.
You're going to State? That is so exciting! Just like when Uncle Hank went to State for high school football.
Oh, yeah.
It's exactly like that, Luanne.
PEGGY: Oh, well, it might not be football, but there are over 200 competitors and you're allowed to bring a coach.
You wanna be my coach? A Boggle coach? What would I do? You don't have to do anything.
You just have to be there.
Unless you want me to go off to Dallas by myself.
Dallas? I don't want you going to Dallas at all! That place is crawling with crackheads and debutantes! Half of them play for the Cowboys.
Come on, Hank.
It's just for the weekend.
We'll be back on Sunday.
ANNOUNCER: Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! Guess who's going to the mower show? If you guess right, you can come with me.
It's you.
Right? Did I win? Am I going? Boy, how'd you manage to swing that with Peggy? She don't like mowers like we like mowers.
Simple.
I found a Boggle tournament in Dallas to keep her busy, while we have some real fun.
Check it out, man.
Talk about road trip.
The Big D Motel, man.
You're talking about "The biggest names in mowers and clippers! Be there!" Man, it's gonna be fun.
[Horn honking.]
Let's go, Peggy! We gotta get to Dallas before the gangs wake up! PEGGY: Hank! Shh! It's 4:00 a.
m.
Can I go back to bed, Aunt Peggy? I need to get eight hours of beauty sleep and then write a paper on it.
In a minute, honey.
Now, it is very important that we know we can trust you two.
Now, no parties while we're gone.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
[Yawning.]
On behalf of the Arlen Boggle Boosters I'd like to present you with this jacket.
Good luck, Peggy! W-l-N! I promise to make Dairy King, Mr.
Lube, and Rivera Sump Pumps proud! This weekend, Peggy Hill is gonna put Arlen, Texas, on the map! Okay, Peggy Hill.
Good luck and maybe goodbye.
Maybe? Where I come from, either you come home a winner or you not come home at all! Good luck, Peggy Hill.
Goodbye.
[Piano music on TV.]
- What are you watching? - Risky Business.
Luanne, that movie's got bad words and adult situations.
Not anymore.
I rented it at Blockbuster.
I also got a fire-safety video starring Chuck Mangione! Want to watch? No, thanks.
I'm kinda in the middle of doing laundry.
Okay.
But remember Chuck says, "Always unplug your iron after use.
" BOBBY: Thanks for the tip.
It's okay, honey.
Valet parking is included in the price of the room.
I don't like the looks of this one, Peggy.
He's just itching to take my truck for a joyride.
[Sighs.]
[Elevator dings.]
[Peggy gasping.]
PEGGY: Oh, Hank! It's lovely.
Look at that.
Look, everyone.
It's Peggy Hill.
Boggle champ of Arlen, Texas.
JOAN: I'm Joan, Boggle Hospitality Coordinator.
Here's your tournament tote bag, a schedule of events, and a Boggle lei.
[Clears throat.]
Joan, this is my husband, Hank.
Wonderful! We have tons of activities to occupy you while Peggy plays Boggle.
You look like you could use a wallet.
Would you like to make a wallet? I don't think so.
Harley Davidson already made one for me.
Now, Hank is not just my husband.
He is also my coach.
Well, then you'll be needing one of these.
Come on, Peggy.
There's a Parker Brother I want you to meet.
TV: So take it from me, Chuck Mangione unplugging the iron feels so good! Can you dig it? LUANNE: Bobby, wait! Use a coaster! Uh-oh.
What have you done? That coffee table is trashed! Your parents trusted us, Bobby, and we let them down.
They won't be home for 48 hours! I'll think of something.
Hey, I got it! You think of something.
HANK: I'm checking in.
The name's Hank Hill.
- Nope, I have a Peggy Hill.
- Yeah, that's it.
Hank and Peggy Hill.
I have a Peggy Hill.
She's my wife! Oh, okay.
"Mr.
And Mrs.
Peggy Hill.
" Now, you listen to me! The name is Hank Hill! Mr.
Hank Hill! Peggy married me! I didn't marry her! What are you looking at? Oh, look, Peggy, it's Cissy Cobb Boggle champion of Dallas for seven non-consecutive years.
PEGGY: Oh, excuse me, Cissy.
I am fellow Boggle champ, Peggy Hill.
My, my.
What an interesting jacket.
Did you patch that together yourself? Actually, it was given to me by the Arlen Boggle Boosters.
They got local businesses to sponsor my trip.
Oh, how exciting.
Why, you're at the very beginning of a rags-to-riches story.
[Raucous laughter.]
BOBBY: Okay.
The guy at Home Depot said all we gotta do is strip, sand, varnish, buff, varnish buff, varnish, wax, buff.
Oh, God! Your parents are gonna be home in 47 hours! Hurry! No! BOBBY: That was close.
BURNETT: Why, hello there, Peggy Hill.
Name's Burnett, Cissy Cobb's husband-coach.
Actually, my name You don't have to explain.
I got an uncle named Leslie.
And the Duke himself, John Wayne, was really named Marion.
You take that back! BOBBY: The stain's not coming out! I'm gonna put it on high.
[Vacuum cleaner struggling.]
[Gasping.]
[Boggle cubes rattling.]
PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
I have dreamt of this moment ever since I reached ages-8-and-up.
Yeah.
So I'll see you at dinner.
I gotta get to the mower show.
You can't leave now.
You are my coach.
I need you.
You, of all people, should understand, I am at State.
This is my moment.
You know, when I close my eyes, I see myself in the winner's circle.
And you are right there next to me.
My coach.
My man.
And we drive back to Arlen with that big-ass Boggle trophy mounted on the hood of your old truck like some beautiful, gold-plated bare-breasted, Rolls Royce angel! Well, when I close my eyes, I see myself at the mower show and you're there, too, like some beauty queen of yore wearing a fur coat and a gold hat.
Oh, all right! I'll stay.
EMCEE: Coaches, please clear the gaming floor! Oh, I forgot.
Coaches have to watch from a closed-circuit TV room.
Hold my purse? Well, hello, Patches.
You must be here for your Boggle lesson.
EMCEE: Bogglers, take your marks! [Cubes rattling.]
Oh, yeah.
[Electronic beep.]
[Digital timer beeping.]
[Timer buzzes.]
Vowel cubes are running cold.
Coaches note.
It's a good day for "sometimes Y.
" Hey, Cobb, for $7.
50, I can ride the mower that cut the Grassy Knoll.
"Patina, pendant, panoply, and lobster.
" Cissy Cobb, 73 points! Peggy Hill, your words, please.
"Dang.
" [Raucous laughter.]
"Dang" is not a word! That's just some backwoods patois.
Winner, Cissy Cobb! 73-0.
Dang.
I am so stupid! Oh, you're not stupid.
Heck, you're smarter than me.
Oh, big deal.
Well, you're smarter than anyone else in Arlen.
Well, whoop-dee-doo! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbilly Town! I'm trying, Peggy, I just You know, Coach said something that would fire us up when we were behind.
Yeah? What? Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well, you should be, 'cause you are dirt! You make me sick, you big baby! Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle? Why are you yelling at me? I'm trying to be your coach! It's inspiring.
Well, thank you.
'Cause I feel worse than ever.
Well, it worked for the team.
PEGGY: No, it didn't.
You went to State and lost.
Oh, jeez.
I think I need one of those $8 beers.
PEGGY: You were right, Hank.
I am a loser.
I am 255 out of 256.
Oh, come on now.
You're still doing better than Boggle Playing Chicken.
EMCEE: Coaches! Please clear the gaming floor.
Well, I guess that's my cue.
You want me to hold your purse? Fine.
This shouldn't take very long anyway.
BILL: Wow, would you look at this place? I feel like the Pretty Woman.
DALE: Hank? Oh! Hi, guys.
- What are you doing with that purse? - I'm holding it for Peggy.
Uh-huh.
Come on, man.
We're missing the mower show! Let's go! Well, maybe tomorrow.
What's going on here, Hank? I got a pretty good dang old idea what's going on.
I tell you what, man.
It's a [Makes whipping noise.]
Two days ago, you were like a little boy, all excited about the mower show.
Now, you're this strange man holding a purse.
Which is it, Hank? Are you some kind of man? Or are you a little boy? I am still a little boy, damn it! And I am still excited about going to the mower show.
Come on, let's go! [Sighing.]
[Timer buzzes.]
Winner, Peggy Hill! Oh, I don't believe it! You played a great game.
ANNOUNCER: And on display in Booth 5, the blade from Slingblade.
DALE: "Liberace's Mower, no flash photography.
" [Plastic balls rattling.]
BOBBY: You sure you can get that ring out? I can't afford any more screwups.
I just spent my last dollar on deodorizing carpet sealant.
What color is that? Is that Eggshell White? It's gotta be Swiss Coffee! Oh, baby! Oh, man! [Cubes rattling.]
Winner, Peggy Hill! Winner, Peggy Hill! Winner, Peggy Hill! I did it! Guess what, Hank? We are going to the finals! Look at old Boomhauer, rolling and dodging and such.
BOOMHAUER: Dang! Somebody pick up that dang old rock! I tell you, I haven't had this much fun since our last football road trip.
Remember? When we went to State? And even old Peg was there.
Remember? Yeah, I remember.
Cheering her heart out when we were down 28-0.
Man, this dang old piece of crap.
Dang old blocked up.
Get the grass out.
There it is.
[Screams.]
I ain't got no fingers! JOAN: I'm sorry, Peggy.
We have to start the finals.
Okay.
As soon as I find my husband.
I mean, coach.
He's probably just refilling my rosin bag.
CISSY: Don't kid yourself.
He's probably too embarrassed to watch me beat you.
PEGGY: Cissy Cobb? That's right, Patches! Looks like it's you and me in the finals.
[Raucous laughter.]
Hank? BRENT: Hello, and welcome to the Texas State Boggle Championships.
We're coming to you live on the Dallas Grand Plaza Hospitality Channel I'm Brent Steel and with me is Boggle grand master, Alexi Golgarin.
Thanks, Brent.
This should be a great final match.
Two great Bogglers.
Only one will be winner.
All right, it's gonna be best of three.
I want a clean game.
No foreign words.
No foreign objects.
Shake! PEGGY: Oh, Hank.
BRENT: Cissy Cobb is off to an excellent start in Round 1.
ALEXl: Peggy Hill hesitated.
That's going to cost her at least a four-letter word.
BRENT: There goes Peggy Hill's pencil! ALEXl: With no coach, she's really at a disadvantage.
BRENT: Incredible! What a scrapper! What a save! [Timer buzzing.]
BRENT: The players will now read their word lists, starting with Peggy Hill.
"Sad, abandoned, abandons "bad, man" BRENT: We're in the final round of this championship match and Peggy Hill is far behind.
Peggy! ALEXl: Peggy Hill is down to her last pencil.
She has no more pencils in reserve.
Everything rides on this pencil! BRENT: This is awful.
I think it's all over for Peggy Hill.
[Sighing.]
Hank! Where the hell have you been? It doesn't matter where I've been.
I figured out where I should be.
Now, let's show them how we play Boggle in Arlen! Whatever you say, Coach! Hoo-yeah! [Uplifting instrumental music.]
[Timer buzzes.]
BRENT: Peggy Hill was writing up a storm.
But will it be enough? "Caviar, chinchilla, harpsichord.
" ALEXl: What confidence.
She wrote "harpsichord.
" But not "harp" and not "chord.
" A very bold gambit.
[Clears throat.]
"Fish, fishes, slaw" BRENT: Peggy Hill is using the opposite strategy.
A long list of short words to narrow the gap.
"churn, churns "apron, aprons" BRENT: She needs 10 more points, and she only has one word remaining.
"Ain't"? "Ain't" is not a word! I win! It ain't "ain't," Cissy Cobb.
The word is "acquaintanceship" as in, "It was not my pleasure to make your acquaintanceship.
" I win! BRENT: What an incredible upset! Peggy Hill is the new Texas State Boggle champion! Now, a description of the hotel fire safety procedures with Chuck Mangione.
You did it, Peggy, just like you said! You're in the winner's circle! And you are right beside me, Hank.
Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well, you should be! You know, there's something Coach said he would do if we ever won the big game.
Oh, yeah? What's that? BOBBY: Let's go! Let's go! My parents are gonna be home any minute! What the hell is going on here? [Rock music playing on stereo.]
This party is officially over! You kids get out of here before I call your parents! I don't know how you two could be so irresponsible.
You are both grounded.
What were you thinking? You've got school tomorrow!