The Middle s01e16 Episode Script
The Bee
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: Americans have had a long love affair with their cars.
Road trips, tailgating, family vacations But these days, not so much.
EHLERT: America is treating its cars like an old wife it's sick of sleeping with because maybe she's gained a little weight or stopped taking care of herself.
- No offense, Frances.
- None taken? America's bored with their cars, and we need a little PR to fix that.
Everybody give a big hand to our new customer-relations supervisor Frances Heck.
- Oh.
- From now on, Frances you're responsible for writing birthday cards to all the cars we've sold over the last 10 years.
I'm writing birthday cards to cars? You have until next week to do 5000.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Shall we toast to your new promotion? I know, right? More busywork I don't need.
I got roped into volunteering at Brick's class tomorrow.
- You're gonna have to do it.
- No, I don't think I am.
You're always saying you're looking to get involved.
No, I don't think I've ever said that once in my entire life.
Mom, do you think you could make me my favorite dinner on Saturday? I can hardly think to tomorrow.
How about you ask me Friday about what we're having for dinner Saturday? - Okay.
I will.
- Okay.
I'll ask you Friday.
I'll do that.
Definitely.
Okay.
Friday, then.
BOY: Th Th Th "The.
" The word's "the.
" Just like last time.
Still "the.
" - I don't think so.
- Well, I'm pretty sure I'm right.
This is a hard one.
Guys, we've been on the same page for 20 minutes.
I'll tell you what.
Why doesn't Brick read a page to you guys just to get a little momentum going? "And then, as if in a dream a mysterious specter rose from 'the' darkness a brilliant light emanating from its golden and splendiferous orb.
" - Did he memorize that? - No, that's just what he does.
He's been reading like that since he was 2.
Brick is really something.
He can't remember to throw his lunch away or pull up his pants but then he has a victory like last week and you almost forget the other things.
He had a victory? What kind of victory? Oh, I thought you knew.
He won the school-wide spelling bee.
School-wide.
Hmm.
Dear beige hatchback: I can't believe you're another year older.
Hey, Mom.
I was thinking I might wanna have like eight or nine friends sleep over Saturday.
I mean, unless you've got something else planned.
I don't know.
It's kind of a crazy week.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
A big sleepover isn't really a good idea.
Yeah, you're right.
Crazy week.
Sure.
I understand.
Crazy week.
Mom thinks a sleepover's not a good idea.
So I'm gonna think of something else.
[SUE CHUCKLES.]
Okay, you do that.
Frankie, do you have any idea how smart this kid is? He's light-years ahead of the other kids.
They're idiots next to him.
Tell her.
Tell her how stupid they are.
- They're pretty stupid.
- Mike.
Sorry, I'm excited.
Did you know our boy won the school-wide spelling bee? Brick, that's great.
Why didn't you say anything? Did they give you a certificate or something? [MIKE MIMICS FANFARE.]
It was no big deal.
MIKE: You hear this kid? No big deal? He beat fifth graders.
He qualified for the Orson County Bee at the Elks this Saturday and if he wins that, Midwest Regionals in Chicago next week and if he wins that, the Scripps Spelling Bee in Washington, D.
C.
We got a champ here.
Heck! Heck! Heck! [MIMICS CROWD CHEERING.]
- Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do it.
- What? Why not? Well, it's Saturday.
Saturday's my day to decompress.
Look, Brick, the overlap between things you're good at and things people give out trophies for is pretty small.
You gotta do this, son.
You have a gift.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: Wow.
I'd never seen Mike like this about anything not sports-related.
But it sort of makes sense.
See, when you're a parent of Brick you spend a lot of time with your face looking like this: [SIGHING.]
FRANKIE: So if Mike had a chance to look like this you can't blame him for wanting to run with it.
For the next week, Mike coached him like he'd never been coached before.
- Are you ready to spell? - I'm ready to spell.
- I can't hear you.
- I'm ready to spell! "Perspicacious.
" P-E-R-S-P-I-C-A-C-I-O-U-S.
- "Perspicacious.
" - Is that right? - Uh-huh.
- Thattaboy.
[WHISPERS.]
"Onomatopoeia.
" BRICK [WHISPERS.]
: O-N-O-M-A-T - O-P-O-E-I-A.
"Onomatopoeia.
" JUDGE: That's correct.
FRANKIE: Yep, for all the crap you go through being a parent there are some moments you just know you're doing something right.
He won.
Your brother won.
Brick Heck, future champ, is heading for regionals.
FRANKIE: Which are inevitably followed by other moments.
[SINGS.]
Happy birthday to me So that's why you kept asking about a slumber party and your favorite dinner.
Why didn't you just say it was for your birthday? I didn't think I had to.
I thought mothers just automatically remember the day their children are born.
I'm sorry.
There's no excuse.
But I had a lot on my plate All you were doing all week was writing birthday cards.
You remembered a station wagon's birthday but not mine? Your mother and I are sorry.
We feel terrible.
FRANKIE: We'll make it up to you.
- Anything you want.
You name it and it's yours.
Can we celebrate my birthday next weekend? Uh Sure.
If you don't mind celebrating in Chicago.
Oh, my God.
We're going to Chicago for my birthday? We sure are.
And for Brick's spelling bee.
Can we go to Water Tower Place and the Art Institute? We can drive by them on the way to the bee.
Oh, my God.
Are you guys trying to pass off Brick's spelling bee as my birthday present? No.
Sure we'll go to the bee while we're there but your present is that you get to be in charge of the whole trip.
The whole trip? I'm listening.
Every decision on the way will be yours.
Where we eat, where we stay, it's all up to you, my sweet girl because we love you and it's your birthday and we feel very, very guilty.
[SUE CHUCKLES.]
I wanna stay mad but this is better than a slumber party or chicken parmesan.
- Road trip! - Road trip! FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: Chicken parmesan.
That's her favorite.
Oh, I was way off.
Why did we have to get up early? You interrupted my REM sleep.
My body clock's gonna be off.
Only clock that matters is mine and your brother's.
We're on a schedule here.
We need Brick rested and in the motel by 5.
He's got a big day tomorrow.
Big weekend for him.
And me.
My clock matters.
And Sue because it's her birthday weekend.
- Right, sorry.
And Sue.
- I'm gonna get postcards from every fun thing we do for my birthday weekend and Mom's gonna help me make a scrapbook.
AXL: Awesome.
I'm gonna take pictures of every lame thing we do and then Mom can look to them for clues as to why I ran away.
Brick, you cool enough? Crack the window.
Gotta keep that noggin oxygenated.
- Spell "oxygenated.
" - Mike.
Actually, I think I, the birthday girl, might enjoy a window too.
- Axl, switch with me.
- No way.
I'm not sitting on the hump.
You can call the shots when we forget your birthday.
Get on the hump.
Hey, who's up for singing? [SINGS.]
Oh, the Hecks went traveling To Chicago one day When along came an avalanche Interrupting their way I wish.
Oh, they went I'm not singing.
It's my birthday trip.
[ALL SINGING.]
Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah Oh, le-rah-cuckoo Whoosh Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah Oh, le-rah-cuckoo Whoosh Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah Oh, le-rah-cuckoo Whoosh Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah-oh Okay, now "This Land Is Your Land" in a round.
Ugh.
Dad, think you could pick up speed so when I hurl myself out of the car I kill myself instead of being injured? Sure.
I'm hungry.
Hungry.
Brick's hungry.
What snack did you pack? I've got pretzels, candy corn, cheese corn, kettle corn Girl Scout cookies, and frosting for dipping.
It's all in the blue bag.
ALL: You forgot the blue bag? [FRANKIE SIGHS.]
It's okay.
Look, Bicentennial Diner, 30 miles.
We're not stopping.
I wanna get to the hotel early so Brick can get his rest.
- We can drive through somewhere.
- But it said they had candle dipping.
That would be an awesome postcard.
And birthday girl does get to pick the activities.
We did promise her.
And, besides, the sign said their food is "revolutionary.
" This is gross.
I think I'm eating a potpie from 1776.
Well, I love my Ye Olde Cobb Salad.
They don't have candle dipping.
Or postcards.
Now I'll have nothing to remember this place by.
Cheer up, maybe you'll get hepatitis.
Oh, well.
You guys are so gonna love the next place on the birthday trip.
I read in the AAA TripTik that Indiana is home to the world's largest oak-tree stump.
BRICK: Cool.
AXL: Lame.
It's the eighth wonder of Muncie.
I bet no one at home has a postcard from the world's largest stump.
Why do you think that is, Sue? Why? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We have to get to the motel, give Brick a bath go over flashcards, and get him to bed.
No way we're gonna do that if we drive out of our way to look at some stump.
I had the lowest of expectations, and I'm still disappointed.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: So Sue's little side trips had landed us in Chicago smack in the middle of rush hour.
[HORNS HONKING.]
But three cranky hours later we finally made it to the motel Sue picked.
Oh, my God.
[SIREN WAILING NEARBY.]
Sue should never be allowed to decide anything in our entire lives.
- This place makes our house look nice.
- Axl.
Uh Well, see, it's not so bad.
There's a TV.
And the bathroom is [SUE SCREAMS.]
There's poop in the toilet.
[ALL GROAN.]
AXL: Gross.
- All right, we'll just flush it.
It's not a big deal, my God.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
FRANKIE: Mike, I need help.
And towels! [MIKE GROANS.]
Watch TV.
[STATIC.]
The TV doesn't work.
- What did you say? - The TV doesn't work.
See? It's just static.
[FRANKIE SIGHS.]
Well, thank you, Sue, for the worst vacation we've ever had and I am including the Ozarks and the frog infestation.
Come on, people, you know we're all thinking it! We could spend all night criticizing Sue's lousy decisions, but we need sleep.
So start sleeping.
Now.
[SUE SOBBING.]
- Sue, knock it off.
Go to sleep.
SUE: Okay.
You happy now? Sue's crying and you're yelling at her.
I wasn't yelling.
I don't want her to wake up Brick.
Yeah, that's right, it's all about Brick.
That's why he gets the bed and I'm sleeping on this disgusting, crunchy carpet.
No, we're sleeping on this disgusting, crunchy carpet because you had to give the other bed to Sue.
We forgot her birthday.
I know, but this wasn't the way to make it up to her.
This weekend is about the spelling bee.
The spelling bee's a big deal.
To who? What's that supposed to mean? It's a big deal to you.
You're the one that wants the trophy.
- You're the one that wants to win.
- That's ridiculous.
Don't you roll away from me.
It's true.
You've been out of control this weekend.
I'm not the one agreeing to every idea my 13-year-old comes up with.
Fourteen.
She had a birthday.
AXL: I can hear you.
BRICK: I can hear you.
SUE: I can hear you.
[KNOCKING ON WALL.]
GUEST: I can hear you.
[SOBBING.]
MIKE: Sue, come on.
FRANKIE: It's me.
I just wanted to make everybody happy.
Oh, man.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: I read something somewhere about: "No matter how dark the night, the sun comes up and something, something.
" Anyway, the sun came up and it sure didn't make that room look any better.
But then MIKE: Happy birthday.
SUE: Huh? [YAWNS.]
Donut holes? Had to drive 10 miles up the road to find them, but, yeah.
- I know they're your favorite.
- Oh.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm sorry if I was short with you last night.
I know this hasn't been a great birthday, and I'm sorry for that too.
How about when we get home, we throw you a nice big party? Really? Wow.
- We okay? - Mm-hm.
We're okay.
- But, Dad? - Yeah, honey? Donut holes are Brick's favorite.
I like waffles.
Really? [AXL GROANS LOUDLY.]
I like donut holes.
Don't start spelling the word unless you know it.
- I wonder why I'm Number 11.
- And ask for the definition.
Hey, when I look down, my number looks the same to me as it does to you.
Brick, forget about the sign.
You should be focusing on letters.
Now, over there, that's your main competition Sanjit Bawa.
- Hey.
- Hey, don't befriend your enemy.
He's nothing to you.
You're gonna take him down.
- Got it? - Okay.
When are we heading home? Can we eat at Der Pancake Haus on the way? Sue said that they make the pancakes right at your table.
Brick Your ma said something last night.
Do you even care about winning this thing? I don't know.
You win, you get a trophy to put on your shelf.
- I thought you'd think that was cool.
- No.
I don't really care about the winning part.
I just like to spell.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: And that's when it finally sunk in for Mike: Brick really didn't care.
And that changed everything.
That's your edge.
That's how you're gonna win this thing, by not caring.
You're the ice man.
You're my "brick" of ice.
You see, unlike Brick, Mike really does like the winning part.
If we can, uh, please have all the contestants take their places.
- How is he? - He doesn't care at all.
I think we got a real shot.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 45th annual Midwest Regionals.
The winner of this competition will go on to compete in the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.
C.
Let the spelling begin.
SPECTATOR 1: Yeah! SPECTATOR 2: Go, champ! - Yeah! - Whoo! "Grammar.
" G-R-A-M-M-A-R.
"Grammar.
" That is correct.
[WHISTLES.]
"Privilege.
" P-R-I-V-E-L-E-G-E.
[BELL RINGS.]
I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
[CHUCKLES.]
"Sebaceous.
" S-E-B-A-C-E "Minutiae.
" M-I-N-U-T-I "Saboteur.
" S-A-B - B-O-U-S.
JUDGE: That is correct.
- "Ecclesiastical.
" JUDGE: That is correct.
[SIGHS.]
That's incorrect.
- "Ubiquitous.
" - That is correct.
Yeah! [BELL RINGING.]
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, we're down to the final two.
One of these contestants will be our Midwest Champion.
Oh, my God.
I can't look.
I'm too nervous.
Come on, Brick.
Come on, you can do this.
- The word is "prospicience.
" - "Prospicience.
" - Can you give me the definition, please? - It means foresight, seeing ahead.
"Prospicience.
" P-R-O-S-P-I-C-I-E-N-C-E.
- "Prospicience.
" - That is correct.
FRANKIE: Yeah! - The word is "guerdon.
" - "Guerdon.
" - What is the origin? - Stall tactic.
Middle English, from Old French.
"Guerdon.
" G-U E- R-D-O-N.
- "Guerdon.
" - That is correct.
MR.
BAWA: Very good.
SPECTATOR: Nice job.
The next word is "chiaroscurist.
" - Oh, my God.
- No, he knows this one.
- What? - He studied this one.
He knows it.
Yeah.
He knows it.
He knows it.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: And in that moment, it all melted away all the stress and the sore backs and the complaining and the fighting.
We were there for one reason and one reason alone: to cheer our littlest member to his hard-won victory.
Our victory.
"Chiaroscurist.
" C-H-I-A-R-O-S-C-U-R-I-S-T.
T.
[BELL RINGS.]
JUDGE: Oh, I'm sorry.
There's only one T.
No, no, no.
He knows there's only one T.
- It's just that he has quirks.
- He studied that word.
MIKE: No, no, I know that.
SUE: It's just how he is.
SUE: I don't think you understand.
MIKE: He just has a So, Brick, I guess you cared about the trophy after all.
Guess you're more like your old man than you thought.
I wasn't mad about not getting the trophy.
I just wanted to go to Washington, D.
C.
This trip has been so much fun and I really wanted to go on another one.
- You thought the trip was fun? - This trip? Oh, yeah.
Sue makes the best decisions.
- Where are we going on the way home? - Uh, I don't know.
I think I'm done deciding.
It's too much pressure.
- Oh, come on, Sue, it's your birthday.
- Really? Okay.
There's this place that has the world's biggest ball of paint.
And further down the road is this restaurant shaped like a biscuit.
Awesome! World's biggest ball of paint, here we come.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: I can't say we fell back in love with our car after that trip, but Brick was right.
It is all about the journey and not the trophy, which he didn't get or the postcards, which Sue didn't get.
But what we did get were some pretty funny memories.
I keep thinking about Axl squished up in that ridiculous cot all night.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: After all, it's the bad trips that you never forget.
SUE: That was definitely pathetic.
But not more pathetic than the world's stupidest stump.
Why did I think that'd be fun?
: Americans have had a long love affair with their cars.
Road trips, tailgating, family vacations But these days, not so much.
EHLERT: America is treating its cars like an old wife it's sick of sleeping with because maybe she's gained a little weight or stopped taking care of herself.
- No offense, Frances.
- None taken? America's bored with their cars, and we need a little PR to fix that.
Everybody give a big hand to our new customer-relations supervisor Frances Heck.
- Oh.
- From now on, Frances you're responsible for writing birthday cards to all the cars we've sold over the last 10 years.
I'm writing birthday cards to cars? You have until next week to do 5000.
Congratulations on your promotion.
Shall we toast to your new promotion? I know, right? More busywork I don't need.
I got roped into volunteering at Brick's class tomorrow.
- You're gonna have to do it.
- No, I don't think I am.
You're always saying you're looking to get involved.
No, I don't think I've ever said that once in my entire life.
Mom, do you think you could make me my favorite dinner on Saturday? I can hardly think to tomorrow.
How about you ask me Friday about what we're having for dinner Saturday? - Okay.
I will.
- Okay.
I'll ask you Friday.
I'll do that.
Definitely.
Okay.
Friday, then.
BOY: Th Th Th "The.
" The word's "the.
" Just like last time.
Still "the.
" - I don't think so.
- Well, I'm pretty sure I'm right.
This is a hard one.
Guys, we've been on the same page for 20 minutes.
I'll tell you what.
Why doesn't Brick read a page to you guys just to get a little momentum going? "And then, as if in a dream a mysterious specter rose from 'the' darkness a brilliant light emanating from its golden and splendiferous orb.
" - Did he memorize that? - No, that's just what he does.
He's been reading like that since he was 2.
Brick is really something.
He can't remember to throw his lunch away or pull up his pants but then he has a victory like last week and you almost forget the other things.
He had a victory? What kind of victory? Oh, I thought you knew.
He won the school-wide spelling bee.
School-wide.
Hmm.
Dear beige hatchback: I can't believe you're another year older.
Hey, Mom.
I was thinking I might wanna have like eight or nine friends sleep over Saturday.
I mean, unless you've got something else planned.
I don't know.
It's kind of a crazy week.
[DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES.]
A big sleepover isn't really a good idea.
Yeah, you're right.
Crazy week.
Sure.
I understand.
Crazy week.
Mom thinks a sleepover's not a good idea.
So I'm gonna think of something else.
[SUE CHUCKLES.]
Okay, you do that.
Frankie, do you have any idea how smart this kid is? He's light-years ahead of the other kids.
They're idiots next to him.
Tell her.
Tell her how stupid they are.
- They're pretty stupid.
- Mike.
Sorry, I'm excited.
Did you know our boy won the school-wide spelling bee? Brick, that's great.
Why didn't you say anything? Did they give you a certificate or something? [MIKE MIMICS FANFARE.]
It was no big deal.
MIKE: You hear this kid? No big deal? He beat fifth graders.
He qualified for the Orson County Bee at the Elks this Saturday and if he wins that, Midwest Regionals in Chicago next week and if he wins that, the Scripps Spelling Bee in Washington, D.
C.
We got a champ here.
Heck! Heck! Heck! [MIMICS CROWD CHEERING.]
- Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna do it.
- What? Why not? Well, it's Saturday.
Saturday's my day to decompress.
Look, Brick, the overlap between things you're good at and things people give out trophies for is pretty small.
You gotta do this, son.
You have a gift.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: Wow.
I'd never seen Mike like this about anything not sports-related.
But it sort of makes sense.
See, when you're a parent of Brick you spend a lot of time with your face looking like this: [SIGHING.]
FRANKIE: So if Mike had a chance to look like this you can't blame him for wanting to run with it.
For the next week, Mike coached him like he'd never been coached before.
- Are you ready to spell? - I'm ready to spell.
- I can't hear you.
- I'm ready to spell! "Perspicacious.
" P-E-R-S-P-I-C-A-C-I-O-U-S.
- "Perspicacious.
" - Is that right? - Uh-huh.
- Thattaboy.
[WHISPERS.]
"Onomatopoeia.
" BRICK [WHISPERS.]
: O-N-O-M-A-T - O-P-O-E-I-A.
"Onomatopoeia.
" JUDGE: That's correct.
FRANKIE: Yep, for all the crap you go through being a parent there are some moments you just know you're doing something right.
He won.
Your brother won.
Brick Heck, future champ, is heading for regionals.
FRANKIE: Which are inevitably followed by other moments.
[SINGS.]
Happy birthday to me So that's why you kept asking about a slumber party and your favorite dinner.
Why didn't you just say it was for your birthday? I didn't think I had to.
I thought mothers just automatically remember the day their children are born.
I'm sorry.
There's no excuse.
But I had a lot on my plate All you were doing all week was writing birthday cards.
You remembered a station wagon's birthday but not mine? Your mother and I are sorry.
We feel terrible.
FRANKIE: We'll make it up to you.
- Anything you want.
You name it and it's yours.
Can we celebrate my birthday next weekend? Uh Sure.
If you don't mind celebrating in Chicago.
Oh, my God.
We're going to Chicago for my birthday? We sure are.
And for Brick's spelling bee.
Can we go to Water Tower Place and the Art Institute? We can drive by them on the way to the bee.
Oh, my God.
Are you guys trying to pass off Brick's spelling bee as my birthday present? No.
Sure we'll go to the bee while we're there but your present is that you get to be in charge of the whole trip.
The whole trip? I'm listening.
Every decision on the way will be yours.
Where we eat, where we stay, it's all up to you, my sweet girl because we love you and it's your birthday and we feel very, very guilty.
[SUE CHUCKLES.]
I wanna stay mad but this is better than a slumber party or chicken parmesan.
- Road trip! - Road trip! FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: Chicken parmesan.
That's her favorite.
Oh, I was way off.
Why did we have to get up early? You interrupted my REM sleep.
My body clock's gonna be off.
Only clock that matters is mine and your brother's.
We're on a schedule here.
We need Brick rested and in the motel by 5.
He's got a big day tomorrow.
Big weekend for him.
And me.
My clock matters.
And Sue because it's her birthday weekend.
- Right, sorry.
And Sue.
- I'm gonna get postcards from every fun thing we do for my birthday weekend and Mom's gonna help me make a scrapbook.
AXL: Awesome.
I'm gonna take pictures of every lame thing we do and then Mom can look to them for clues as to why I ran away.
Brick, you cool enough? Crack the window.
Gotta keep that noggin oxygenated.
- Spell "oxygenated.
" - Mike.
Actually, I think I, the birthday girl, might enjoy a window too.
- Axl, switch with me.
- No way.
I'm not sitting on the hump.
You can call the shots when we forget your birthday.
Get on the hump.
Hey, who's up for singing? [SINGS.]
Oh, the Hecks went traveling To Chicago one day When along came an avalanche Interrupting their way I wish.
Oh, they went I'm not singing.
It's my birthday trip.
[ALL SINGING.]
Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah Oh, le-rah-cuckoo Whoosh Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah Oh, le-rah-cuckoo Whoosh Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah Oh, le-rah-cuckoo Whoosh Oh, le-rah-kee-kee-ah-oh Okay, now "This Land Is Your Land" in a round.
Ugh.
Dad, think you could pick up speed so when I hurl myself out of the car I kill myself instead of being injured? Sure.
I'm hungry.
Hungry.
Brick's hungry.
What snack did you pack? I've got pretzels, candy corn, cheese corn, kettle corn Girl Scout cookies, and frosting for dipping.
It's all in the blue bag.
ALL: You forgot the blue bag? [FRANKIE SIGHS.]
It's okay.
Look, Bicentennial Diner, 30 miles.
We're not stopping.
I wanna get to the hotel early so Brick can get his rest.
- We can drive through somewhere.
- But it said they had candle dipping.
That would be an awesome postcard.
And birthday girl does get to pick the activities.
We did promise her.
And, besides, the sign said their food is "revolutionary.
" This is gross.
I think I'm eating a potpie from 1776.
Well, I love my Ye Olde Cobb Salad.
They don't have candle dipping.
Or postcards.
Now I'll have nothing to remember this place by.
Cheer up, maybe you'll get hepatitis.
Oh, well.
You guys are so gonna love the next place on the birthday trip.
I read in the AAA TripTik that Indiana is home to the world's largest oak-tree stump.
BRICK: Cool.
AXL: Lame.
It's the eighth wonder of Muncie.
I bet no one at home has a postcard from the world's largest stump.
Why do you think that is, Sue? Why? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
We have to get to the motel, give Brick a bath go over flashcards, and get him to bed.
No way we're gonna do that if we drive out of our way to look at some stump.
I had the lowest of expectations, and I'm still disappointed.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: So Sue's little side trips had landed us in Chicago smack in the middle of rush hour.
[HORNS HONKING.]
But three cranky hours later we finally made it to the motel Sue picked.
Oh, my God.
[SIREN WAILING NEARBY.]
Sue should never be allowed to decide anything in our entire lives.
- This place makes our house look nice.
- Axl.
Uh Well, see, it's not so bad.
There's a TV.
And the bathroom is [SUE SCREAMS.]
There's poop in the toilet.
[ALL GROAN.]
AXL: Gross.
- All right, we'll just flush it.
It's not a big deal, my God.
[TOILET FLUSHES.]
FRANKIE: Mike, I need help.
And towels! [MIKE GROANS.]
Watch TV.
[STATIC.]
The TV doesn't work.
- What did you say? - The TV doesn't work.
See? It's just static.
[FRANKIE SIGHS.]
Well, thank you, Sue, for the worst vacation we've ever had and I am including the Ozarks and the frog infestation.
Come on, people, you know we're all thinking it! We could spend all night criticizing Sue's lousy decisions, but we need sleep.
So start sleeping.
Now.
[SUE SOBBING.]
- Sue, knock it off.
Go to sleep.
SUE: Okay.
You happy now? Sue's crying and you're yelling at her.
I wasn't yelling.
I don't want her to wake up Brick.
Yeah, that's right, it's all about Brick.
That's why he gets the bed and I'm sleeping on this disgusting, crunchy carpet.
No, we're sleeping on this disgusting, crunchy carpet because you had to give the other bed to Sue.
We forgot her birthday.
I know, but this wasn't the way to make it up to her.
This weekend is about the spelling bee.
The spelling bee's a big deal.
To who? What's that supposed to mean? It's a big deal to you.
You're the one that wants the trophy.
- You're the one that wants to win.
- That's ridiculous.
Don't you roll away from me.
It's true.
You've been out of control this weekend.
I'm not the one agreeing to every idea my 13-year-old comes up with.
Fourteen.
She had a birthday.
AXL: I can hear you.
BRICK: I can hear you.
SUE: I can hear you.
[KNOCKING ON WALL.]
GUEST: I can hear you.
[SOBBING.]
MIKE: Sue, come on.
FRANKIE: It's me.
I just wanted to make everybody happy.
Oh, man.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: I read something somewhere about: "No matter how dark the night, the sun comes up and something, something.
" Anyway, the sun came up and it sure didn't make that room look any better.
But then MIKE: Happy birthday.
SUE: Huh? [YAWNS.]
Donut holes? Had to drive 10 miles up the road to find them, but, yeah.
- I know they're your favorite.
- Oh.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm sorry if I was short with you last night.
I know this hasn't been a great birthday, and I'm sorry for that too.
How about when we get home, we throw you a nice big party? Really? Wow.
- We okay? - Mm-hm.
We're okay.
- But, Dad? - Yeah, honey? Donut holes are Brick's favorite.
I like waffles.
Really? [AXL GROANS LOUDLY.]
I like donut holes.
Don't start spelling the word unless you know it.
- I wonder why I'm Number 11.
- And ask for the definition.
Hey, when I look down, my number looks the same to me as it does to you.
Brick, forget about the sign.
You should be focusing on letters.
Now, over there, that's your main competition Sanjit Bawa.
- Hey.
- Hey, don't befriend your enemy.
He's nothing to you.
You're gonna take him down.
- Got it? - Okay.
When are we heading home? Can we eat at Der Pancake Haus on the way? Sue said that they make the pancakes right at your table.
Brick Your ma said something last night.
Do you even care about winning this thing? I don't know.
You win, you get a trophy to put on your shelf.
- I thought you'd think that was cool.
- No.
I don't really care about the winning part.
I just like to spell.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: And that's when it finally sunk in for Mike: Brick really didn't care.
And that changed everything.
That's your edge.
That's how you're gonna win this thing, by not caring.
You're the ice man.
You're my "brick" of ice.
You see, unlike Brick, Mike really does like the winning part.
If we can, uh, please have all the contestants take their places.
- How is he? - He doesn't care at all.
I think we got a real shot.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 45th annual Midwest Regionals.
The winner of this competition will go on to compete in the Scripps National Spelling Bee in Washington, D.
C.
Let the spelling begin.
SPECTATOR 1: Yeah! SPECTATOR 2: Go, champ! - Yeah! - Whoo! "Grammar.
" G-R-A-M-M-A-R.
"Grammar.
" That is correct.
[WHISTLES.]
"Privilege.
" P-R-I-V-E-L-E-G-E.
[BELL RINGS.]
I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
[CHUCKLES.]
"Sebaceous.
" S-E-B-A-C-E "Minutiae.
" M-I-N-U-T-I "Saboteur.
" S-A-B - B-O-U-S.
JUDGE: That is correct.
- "Ecclesiastical.
" JUDGE: That is correct.
[SIGHS.]
That's incorrect.
- "Ubiquitous.
" - That is correct.
Yeah! [BELL RINGING.]
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and gentlemen, we're down to the final two.
One of these contestants will be our Midwest Champion.
Oh, my God.
I can't look.
I'm too nervous.
Come on, Brick.
Come on, you can do this.
- The word is "prospicience.
" - "Prospicience.
" - Can you give me the definition, please? - It means foresight, seeing ahead.
"Prospicience.
" P-R-O-S-P-I-C-I-E-N-C-E.
- "Prospicience.
" - That is correct.
FRANKIE: Yeah! - The word is "guerdon.
" - "Guerdon.
" - What is the origin? - Stall tactic.
Middle English, from Old French.
"Guerdon.
" G-U E- R-D-O-N.
- "Guerdon.
" - That is correct.
MR.
BAWA: Very good.
SPECTATOR: Nice job.
The next word is "chiaroscurist.
" - Oh, my God.
- No, he knows this one.
- What? - He studied this one.
He knows it.
Yeah.
He knows it.
He knows it.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: And in that moment, it all melted away all the stress and the sore backs and the complaining and the fighting.
We were there for one reason and one reason alone: to cheer our littlest member to his hard-won victory.
Our victory.
"Chiaroscurist.
" C-H-I-A-R-O-S-C-U-R-I-S-T.
T.
[BELL RINGS.]
JUDGE: Oh, I'm sorry.
There's only one T.
No, no, no.
He knows there's only one T.
- It's just that he has quirks.
- He studied that word.
MIKE: No, no, I know that.
SUE: It's just how he is.
SUE: I don't think you understand.
MIKE: He just has a So, Brick, I guess you cared about the trophy after all.
Guess you're more like your old man than you thought.
I wasn't mad about not getting the trophy.
I just wanted to go to Washington, D.
C.
This trip has been so much fun and I really wanted to go on another one.
- You thought the trip was fun? - This trip? Oh, yeah.
Sue makes the best decisions.
- Where are we going on the way home? - Uh, I don't know.
I think I'm done deciding.
It's too much pressure.
- Oh, come on, Sue, it's your birthday.
- Really? Okay.
There's this place that has the world's biggest ball of paint.
And further down the road is this restaurant shaped like a biscuit.
Awesome! World's biggest ball of paint, here we come.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: I can't say we fell back in love with our car after that trip, but Brick was right.
It is all about the journey and not the trophy, which he didn't get or the postcards, which Sue didn't get.
But what we did get were some pretty funny memories.
I keep thinking about Axl squished up in that ridiculous cot all night.
FRANKIE [NARRATING.]
: After all, it's the bad trips that you never forget.
SUE: That was definitely pathetic.
But not more pathetic than the world's stupidest stump.
Why did I think that'd be fun?