House, M.D. s01e19 Episode Script
HOU-119 - Kids
Visualizing? All right.
You're up, tiger.
You feel all right? You look a little pale.
I'm fine.
Does your neck still hurt? It'll be fine.
Maybe you should do the two-and-a-half instead.
I'm gonna do the three.
Well, it's better to nail the two-and-a-half than-- I'm gonna nail the three.
All right.
Well, let's show these senior citizens what a well-coached Next diver, two-time National Junior champion, Mary Carroll.
Damn it.
You can do this.
Come on, just see it.
See it.
Big jump.
Pike out.
Rip it.
Call 911.
We need an ambulance.
- I saw the light on.
- It's daytime.
It's a figure of speech.
Always so literal.
- Got a new cane.
- Yeah.
Guy in the store said it was slimming.
Vertical stripe.
- Why are you here? - Vogler is dead.
What? What happened? Again with the literal translation.
Vogler, the idea.
Mr.
Destructo, Mr.
Moneybags.
"Bow down before me".
He is gone from the hospital.
So things can go back to the way they were.
The way they were was kind of weird.
Hmm.
Weird works for me.
What are you saying? Literally.
- I want you to come back.
- Why? Please unclench.
You're not on the clock, and when you do that, I clench and it's a whole thing.
Could you look at your pager? It's no big deal.
Some sort of epidemic.
Not my area.
- You should go.
It's important.
- What I'm doing now is important.
- Why do you want me back? - 'Cause you're a good doctor.
- That's it? - That's not enough? Not for me.
Go deal with your plague.
You are in a quarantined area.
Please remain calm and stay in line.
A doctor will see you shortly.
When you see a doctor, you will receive a blue or yellow form.
Patients with blue forms must immediately exit to the parking lot.
Dr.
House.
Need you here.
Sorry.
Lot of sick people.
I might catch something.
A judge at the campus pool center collapsed.
L.
P.
revealed a virulent form of bacterial meningitis.
Great.
You got it diagnosed.
You don't need me.
were exposed.
They're being bused to all the neighboring hospitals.
That's a problem with resources, not diagnostics.
I-- I'd be completely lost, get in everyone's way.
Joe.
Dr.
House doesn't have a blue slip.
No one leaves the quarantine area without a blue slip.
You are a doctor at this hospital.
Act like one.
And take these.
You win a trip to the second floor.
Next.
All right.
No fever.
No rash.
You're fine.
Take these two pills.
And show this blue slip to Security on your way out.
Next.
Take these.
Go home.
Talk to your daughter.
What? Your pants, your blouse, your scarf are all freshly dry cleaned.
Everything except your jacket.
It's got a smudge on it.
Probably two days old.
Which means you didn't know the jacket had been worn.
So either your husband is a cross-dresser, or your daughter's been borrowing your clothes without telling you.
She probably wants to look older to get into bars.
I don't have a daughter.
Next.
So I have it? Take the yellow form to the second floor.
You're gonna be fine.
I'm gonna die.
It's treatable-- as long as you go to the second floor.
Next.
Yow.
Fever? Does that mean I have it? Do you have a rash? Come on.
It's from my new bathing suit.
I've had it a week.
Yeah.
Does your neck hurt? If it does, you hit the trifecta.
It's nothing.
I pulled it trying to do a three-and-a-half tuck.
Where are your parents? We live in Chicago.
I'm here with my coach.
I wanted to see what you were writing.
Go like this.
Ow.
Go like this.
Take these pills.
Blue slip will get you out of here.
Next.
You're coming with me.
Proceed to the second floor for further examination.
You're gonna need a C.
T.
scan.
Second floor.
Take the elevators, follow the parade.
Next.
Maybe it's something systemic.
Or maybe it's meningitis.
She's had the rash a week.
If it was this meningitis she'd be dead by now.
You guys figure we're done down there? The 800 people milling around are just waiting for the bathroom? Twelve-year-old female.
Fever, rash, neck pains.
Not meningitis.
It's the definition of meningitis.
Sure.
Pus in the spinal canal makes it hurt to move your head up and down, but her neck only hurts moving side to side.
- Oh, side to side.
- Doesn't fit.
The three of you, lobby, now.
Those little pills you're passing out so efficiently aren't gonna do Miss Louganis squat.
You just don't want to deal with the epidemic.
That's right.
I'm subjecting a 12-year-old to a battery of dangerous and invasive tests to avoid being bored.
Okay, maybe I would do that.
But I'm not.
If it turns out she's got meningitis, you're right, you win; but if we go back downstairs and she dies-- your face will be so red.
You have one hour.
Get a lumbar puncture.
Some brain infections can be pretty clever at hide-and-seek.
I'll get on her blood work.
No, you won't.
You, sir, will research all the causes in the universe of neck pain.
- The list is, like, two miles long.
- Start with the letter "A".
And put her on rifampin.
Rifampin is for meningitis.
You just said-- In case I'm wrong.
It has happened.
Brenda, I need a C.
B.
C.
Chem 7 in 2046.
Hold on.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hey, there's a line here.
That's why I said excuse me.
Brenda, I need a bed and a-- We all need stuff.
Push me again.
Brenda, I need a bed and a nurse for a lumbar puncture.
No beds, no nurses for at least four hours.
I've only got one.
Your patient only has an hour to live unless she gets a lumbar puncture? Cuddy only gave us an hour to work on the patient.
Back of the line.
Do not leave the quarantine area until you have been seen by a doctor.
When you see a doctor, you will receive a blue or yellow form-- This novocaine will numb you for the lumbar puncture.
Sorry this has to be so public, Mary.
Normally I'm in a bathing suit with 5,000 people staring at my butt.
I can block this out.
These kids are all very mature.
Travel around the country from event to event.
Okay, I want you to hold your knees and tuck your head.
- Like a dive? - Exactly.
Good.
Great.
Don't forget to breathe.
All right.
Sorry.
Geez.
Coach, help me out here.
Play a little defense before I poke the wrong thing.
Okay, here we go.
- Ow.
I feel it.
Ow.
I feel it.
I fee-- Ow.
- Try to relax, Mary.
Try to relax.
Relax.
What letter are you up to? "A".
Torture combing through all that stuff, ain't it? - Real dull.
Awful.
- It's no problem.
Well, thank goodness.
A lot of people would resent having to do this.
If you receive a blue form, please exit the area.
If you receive a yellow form, please proceed to the second floor.
Where's the 12-year-old girl that was here? Needed the gurney.
She just had a lumbar puncture.
She's not supposed to be moved.
Sorry.
We needed the gurney.
Hey.
- Hey.
- You okay? How's your head feeling? She's got a headache and she's dizzy.
She shouldn't have been moved after the procedure.
I'm sorry.
I'm fine.
What did the test show? No meningitis and no other infections.
But you're not carrying a blue form.
I have something else, don't I? Something's causing your symptoms.
We're gonna keep you here overnight.
I know it's a little crazy in here, but hopefully it'll settle down and we'll be able to get you a room.
I'm sorry.
I'm not usually all emotional like this.
I just-- You're doing great.
Your folks land in a few hours.
I just-- I haven't slept.
I'm so tired.
Oh, my God.
My eye's bleeding.
What is it? What's happening? Oh, don't worry.
The antibiotic we gave you in case you had meningitis can turn your tears reddish.
That's not blood.
But that-- That's blood.
That's going into my stomach? The lavage showed blood in your G.
I.
tract.
We need to find where it's coming from.
You won't feel it.
I'm gonna numb the back of your throat, and Dr.
Foreman is gonna give you a sedative.
Open.
- Ugh.
- Swallow.
Now lay on your side for me.
And here we go.
- Yell fire or something.
- People, this area is highly contagious.
Please step back.
Highly contagious.
All right.
Try to relax, Mary.
This shouldn't take too long.
I don't see any tears or lesions.
All right.
I'm in the stomach.
It's not bleeding.
There was more than a tablespoon of blood in the mouth, so it's gotta be there.
Maybe her small intestine.
Thirty feet of digestive tract, it could be anywhere in there.
We're not gonna see it with this.
Believe it or not, this is a camera.
You swallow it, and it goes all the way through your system.
The antennae pick up the signal from the pill.
Then we look at the video of your intestines, see where the blood is coming from, and fix it.
All right? Water? Down the hatch.
Think I've seen this movie.
The ending's kind of dark.
You want one? How come you did the endoscopy? - He asked for help.
- Her blood pressure was high.
Foreman is not your boss.
When I tell you to do something-- Whoa.
Hold it there.
Back it up a couple of frames.
Oh, yeah.
That's your money shot.
I don't see anything.
Really? "Ginormous" thing on the right side of her intestine.
That doesn't intrigue you? Does "ginormous" mean really big, or really, really small? - 'Cause I don't see anything.
- There? The Dieulafoy? Well, we can burn off the swollen blood vessel, but it still doesn't account for her other symptoms.
No, but it does tell us something.
Though I have no idea what.
Could be a precursor to intestinal intussusception.
Precursor isn't causing all her other symptoms.
What else? You, in the lobby now.
I hurt my leg.
I have a note.
You had your hour-- three, actually.
Dr.
Chase, I told you to tell us when our time was up.
She has intestinal bleeding.
She'll wait.
Two more buses just arrived.
We need you downstairs.
No, you need more nurses, but you cut back on the nursing staff, so now you've got doctors doing what nurses should be doing.
That's true.
I wonder if that has anything to do with you costing us $100 million.
Attention.
If you do not have a blue form, you will not be allowed to leave the quarantine area.
Go.
Be free.
If it's not the intussusception, what about stomach cancer? Does she have any abdominal pain? No.
Then it's not stomach cancer.
Have you ruled out sepsis? The L.
P.
and blood smears showed no signs of infection.
Here.
Take these two pills and you can go.
Well, the lab's working at double their capacity.
Maybe someone screwed up.
No fever, no neck pain.
Take the elevator to the third floor-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wrong form.
- No fever, no neck pain.
She's fine.
- Smell her hair.
No chlorine.
Which means she wasn't at the pool, which means she's come to a quarantined area because she's an idiot or she's insane.
No one is that stupid.
East wing, psych ward.
Bye-bye.
Neck pain could be a symptom for bone cancer.
You up to the B's? Well done.
That would account for all her meningeal symptoms-- rash, fever.
You're fine.
Take these two pills.
Get a sample of her bone marrow.
From here? Break time.
- I need more than 15 minutes.
- Use Chase's break too.
Go.
You should just fire Chase.
What, and miss out on all this fun? So you're gonna torture him for a while and then fire him? That's cold.
You don't think he has it coming? Hey, I said fire him.
That's cold.
All he did was save his job.
What? He completely screwed you over.
Right rudder.
Bank, bank, bank.
Good coffee? The rest of this hospital is busting its tail and you're-- - What are you doing? - Trying to think of anything except the produce department at Whole Foods.
I am working.
It got hot.
Stop acting like a 13-year-old.
Sorry.
You just don't usually see breasts like that on deans of medicine.
Oh, women can't be heads of hospitals? Or just ugly ones? No, they can be babes.
It's just you don't usually see their fun bags.
Your 3:00 interview for Dr.
Cameron's position is in your office.
Not interviewing today.
I don't know if you've heard, but there's this big-time epidemic.
Many sick people.
Puking in the hallways.
It's crazy.
We can reschedule.
No, you won't.
You will interview this person.
And if he can put two sentences together, you will send him to the lobby where he will do his job.
Unlike the two of you.
Come on.
You know I can't do a bone marrow aspiration in the hallway.
And I can't give you a procedure room.
I just need something at least close to a sterile environment.
I need ten more nurses.
Brenda, listen.
Listen.
She'll die.
At least she'll have a bed then.
Put that over there.
Are there dead people in those cabinets? I hope that's who's in there.
Just be calm.
Relax.
Ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Hang on.
Hang on.
You know, I really admire the way you don't care what anyone thinks.
You just do what you want, the way you want.
So you went to Hopkins for both undergrad and med school? - That's right.
- He's in a band.
- You're into music? - Totally.
What kind of music do you play? Mostly blues, you know, James Cotton, some original stuff.
- Oh, dude, you are so hired.
- Really? - Not a chance.
- Why? Tattoo.
Wow.
I thought you'd be the last person to have a problem with nonconformity.
Nonconformity.
Right.
I can't remember the last time I saw a 20-something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist.
You are one wicked freethinker.
You want to be a rebel? Stop being cool.
Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a haircut, like the Asian kids who don't leave the library for 20-hour stretches.
They're the ones who don't care what you think.
Sayonara.
So, should I go through all the résumés looking for Asian names? Actually, the Asian kids are probably just responding to parental pressure, but my point is still valid.
So when do they think you're getting out of here? They don't know.
You don't look sick.
Better hope you're not.
- This equipment looks like it's 100 years old.
-Just got it out of storage.
It is the previous generation, but it works just fine.
Could you, uh-- Could you guys give us a second? If it's good news, you can tell them.
Okay.
We're, uh, we're pretty sure it's not cancer.
- Hey, that's great.
- I'll call your parents.
Well, we still can't release her.
We still don't know yet exactly what's causing the-- Mary? - What's wrong? - She's having an absence seizure.
Mary? You okay? She looks fine.
I need some help over here.
Push two milligrams Ativan, stat.
Are you sure it was an absence seizure? Absolutely.
She was totally unresponsive and unaware of what was going on around her.
Do you mind? We're trying to work.
We should get back out there.
Cuddy's gonna be looking for us.
Looking, but not finding.
Did you do an E.
E.
G.
? Seizure frequency's increasing.
They-- They're almost constant now.
Five in the last half hour.
Which tells us-- It's definitely in her brain.
- And it's getting worse.
- And? Good Lord.
Are you having a bowl movement or a baby? Could be barbiturate withdrawal.
- No, it can't be drugs.
She's tested at every meet she competes at.
A bleed in the brain could cause seizures.
Rat poison? Could also cause the neck pain.
You think she's eating off the floor of her folks' garage? Doesn't have to be.
Who would poison a 12-year-old? Well, let's see now.
There's the 18-year-old has-been that she beat out to make the Nationals, the has-been's parents, jealous siblings, sociopathic swim fan, and then there's just your plain old garden variety whack job.
Hey.
- You know what a hemorrhoid is? - No.
Well, Google it.
And try some raisin bran instead of the doughnuts.
Do a C.
T.
scan.
Check for intracranial bleeding.
Not a chance.
Radiology's totally swamped.
If our patient's bleeding into her brain, she's gonna be dead in eight hours.
She could be, but a meningitis patient will be without a C.
T.
scan.
- When I was in med school, I had this old professor-- - Who touched you in the naughty place? Before the C.
T.
scan was introduced, he specialized in transcranial ultrasound.
Hmm.
Ancient, but if there's enough bleeding it might work.
Okay, do what the guy who didn't specialize in neurology said.
It was my idea.
Nyah, nyah, nyah.
You've still gotta cover "Q" to "Z".
Sorry I'm late.
I was taking a dump.
I'm guessing I'm better off interviewing right after than right before.
Dr.
Petra Gilmar, Dr.
Gregory House.
You actually speak four languages, or are you just banking on never being interviewed by anyone who does? It's true, and I can swear in two more.
Why are you leaving Dr.
Hazel? Did you fall for him and can't handle it, or was it the other way around? - Yes, well, pretty much every fellowship ends that way.
- No, it was nothing like that.
- You Jewish? - Yes.
Is it true what they say about jewish foreplay? - Two hours of begging? - I heard four.
Well, actually, I'm only half Jewish.
Look, I know you like to play games with people.
I know you like to say outrageous things and study how they react.
What you should know about me is that I grew up with four brothers.
Keep your hands to yourself, I'm okay with anything that comes out of your mouth.
Uh, well, that's, uh, great.
I think that's all we need.
Thank you for coming by.
Thank you.
- That's our Hitler! - No way.
Are you kidding? Her background's perfect.
She's smart, she can obviously deal with your insanity-- You see her shoes? Her shoes? What, did your horoscope in Vogue tell you to avoid women wearing green shoes? The eyes can mislead, a smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
- They were Prada.
Means she has good taste.
- They were not Prada.
You wouldn't know Prada if one stepped on your scrotum.
Okay.
Well, they were nice.
Pointy.
Exactly.
They were stylish, and very painful to wear.
Only an incredibly shallow, insecure woman would rather be in pain all day long than wear a decent-looking, comfortable shoe, and that's exactly the type I don't need around here.
No.
Someone who can handle a lot of pain is exactly the type you do need.
Excuse me.
What are you doing? I'm "ultrasounding" your head.
You're still having seizures.
This should help us figure out what's going on.
Blue form to the security guard.
You're not gonna be happy with anyone.
So what, your advice is hire someone I'm not happy with and be happy? No, my advice is much more subtle.
Stop being an ass.
You always find some tiny little flaw to push people away.
Oh, now it's people.
I thought we were talking about fellowship applicants.
You have a history of this.
Well, when I do decide to push you away, I hope there's a small person kneeling behind you, so you fall down and hurt your head.
Take these.
There's water over there.
Blue form to the guard.
And you're done.
You had the perfect person, and you blew it.
You saw the shoes.
I'm not talking about her.
You're talking about Cameron.
I'm talking about every woman you've ever given a damn about.
Cameron is so not perfect.
Well, nobody's perfect.
Mother Teresa? Dead.
Angelina Jolie? No medical degree.
Now who's being picky? You're gonna wind up alone, House.
You were right.
There's a significant bleed in her temporal lobe.
But no poisons.
Did tox screens on her blood, urine, and hair.
Nothing.
Did them twice.
He's a little dehydrated.
Put him on a saline drip and give him some orange juice.
I need an operating room and a neurosurgeon.
Given the current crisis, I'm tempted to say no, but since you've been so sweet to me today-- Our little mermaid is bleeding into her temporal lobe.
- How fast can you have her prepped? - Twenty minutes.
You'll have a surgeon in the room in ten.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Carroll? Are you Dr.
House? - This is Dr.
Foreman.
- Is Mary all right? The operation went well.
The intracranial pressure's been relieved, and the swelling's already going down.
Oh, thank God.
Well, what happened? I mean, did she bang her head at a meet, or did she-- - No, nothing like that.
- Then why is she bleeding? Is she gonna be all right? I'm sorry.
We still don't know.
No toxins, no tumor, no bone cancer.
Renal failure could cause the rash, fever, and muscle pain.
Maybe it's some sort of genetic kidney disorder.
No family history.
- And no blood in her urine or uremia.
- Not yet.
You want to do a differential based on symptoms that might happen? - You got a better idea? - Stop it.
Stop looking for things we don't know and focus on what we do know.
What do we actually know, besides what's up there? Come on.
How hard can it be to tell me what you already know? - She's 12.
-She spends a lot of time in pools-- exposure to chemicals.
- She travels a lot.
- But never out of the country.
What else? Come on! We're gonna put you right here.
We're missing something.
What? Well, if I knew that, it wouldn't be missing.
Maybe she's adopted and we've got the wrong history.
No.
She's got her mom's eyes and a red patch of hair just like Dad.
What about an allergic reaction? That could explain the rash and muscle pain, but probably not the bleeding or seizures.
That's a lot of balloons.
- You think she's allergic to polyester? - Not unless she's been competing in the nude all these years.
Then what are you thinking? What do the balloons mean? What if the rash isn't a rash? What are you talking about? Who gave her the balloons? Some of the girls from her team.
They've been visiting her pretty regularly, but none of them are sick.
What about the guys? - None of them are sick either.
- Which guys visited her? Uh-- Actually, none.
She's cute.
She's nice.
She's a kick-ass diver.
You'd think the guys would be falling all over themselves to get close to her.
She's 12.
The youngest guy on her team is 16.
- Okay, so maybe they're just not interested, or-- - They're avoiding her.
There any cell fragments in her blood smears? No.
Red blood cells were intact.
Check 'em again.
Blood looks like it's been put through the blender now.
You done yet? You were right.
The rash wasn't a rash.
She's bleeding into her skin.
It's purpura.
Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura? Starts with "T".
You were so close.
What could have set it off? She had no traces of E.
coli in her cultures.
She's obviously not menopausal, so no estrogen.
There is one other possible cause.
Oh, God.
Pregnancy causes all kinds of chemical and biological changes in a woman's body-- or a girl's body, as the case may be.
In extremely rare cases, everything goes haywire.
It's called T.
T.
P.
Blood starts clotting like crazy and clogs the vessels in your brain and kidneys.
Red blood cells end up getting shredded as they squeeze past the clot, like a fat guy in a crowded bar.
I'm sure you know what that's like.
I mean, you're only 12, but you're all grown up, right? Travel on your own, hang out in hotel rooms getting room service with your teammates.
Maybe someone sneaks in a couple of beers.
You start playing spin the bottle.
Next thing you know you're waking up with nothing on but your socks.
It wasn't like that.
Ofcourse not.
- You wanted it.
- Yeah.
I did.
He turned out to be a jerk, but-- Actually, under New Jersey law, the term is felon.
I knew what I was doing.
We're gonna have to do something called plasmapheresis.
Cleans the antibodies from your blood.
We're also gonna have to terminate the pregnancy.
You gonna tell my parents? Someone should.
Rock, paper, scissors? They don't need to know.
I'll be all right.
Ofcourse you will.
I mean, if you're old enough to bleed out of your vagina, then obviously you're mature enough to handle a simple thing like an abortion without Mommy and Daddy's help.
You gonna tell my parents? Under New Jersey law, you're the boss.
Your daughter has T.
T.
P.
Don't worry.
It's curable.
She'll be fine.
Well, wait.
I mean, what does T.
T.
P.
stand for? Some really big words that you've never heard before and, when we're done, will never hear again.
Have a nice day.
- Well, when can we take her home? - Uh, in a few days.
She needs some minor surgery to remove the underlying cause before we can do the another really big word.
What's the underlying cause? - She has an abnormal growth in her abdomen.
- What kind of surgery? It's-- It's very simple.
We do it here all the time.
- Could you be a little more specific? - Actually, no.
I'm sorry.
We're almost done.
Hang in there.
You're doing good.
Feeling okay? Yeah.
You should be.
- Your platelets count's up.
- How's your neck? Looks good.
Anything else we can get you? No, thanks.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can I see my mom and dad? Plasmapheresis is working.
She's gonna be fine.
I know.
Hi.
I've got these.
I can't even tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity to meet with you.
- The moment I heard you had another fellowship opening, I-- - There is no opening.
House.
- You have to hire someone.
- I know.
Position's been filled.
- Why am I interviewing for a position that's already been filled? - Exactly.
I called to confirm the interview this morning.
You figure if you keep arguing, I'm gonna cave, admit it's all a lie and hire you? Do you need your parking validated? I don't wanna interview anyone else.
You're interviewing? I thought you'd just have them send a head shot along with their C.
V.
Ha.
That's good, and why I need you around-- to keep me in my place.
I can't come back.
I told you that.
- Wasn't listening.
- Right.
You want me to listen to you more? I can do that.
Right.
I already accepted a position somewhere else.
- With who? - Yeuell-- at jefferson.
- Unaccept it.
- Why? Because Yeuell is boring.
He's pedantic and preachy.
Because he's short.
Because I want you to come back.
Not good enough.
Want more money? A car allowance? Better parking space? Dinner.
And not just a meal between two colleagues.
A date.
You'll come back to work if I go out on a date with you? Yes.
Okay.
It's a deal.
See you tomorrow morning.
Don't be late.
I won't.
You're up, tiger.
You feel all right? You look a little pale.
I'm fine.
Does your neck still hurt? It'll be fine.
Maybe you should do the two-and-a-half instead.
I'm gonna do the three.
Well, it's better to nail the two-and-a-half than-- I'm gonna nail the three.
All right.
Well, let's show these senior citizens what a well-coached Next diver, two-time National Junior champion, Mary Carroll.
Damn it.
You can do this.
Come on, just see it.
See it.
Big jump.
Pike out.
Rip it.
Call 911.
We need an ambulance.
- I saw the light on.
- It's daytime.
It's a figure of speech.
Always so literal.
- Got a new cane.
- Yeah.
Guy in the store said it was slimming.
Vertical stripe.
- Why are you here? - Vogler is dead.
What? What happened? Again with the literal translation.
Vogler, the idea.
Mr.
Destructo, Mr.
Moneybags.
"Bow down before me".
He is gone from the hospital.
So things can go back to the way they were.
The way they were was kind of weird.
Hmm.
Weird works for me.
What are you saying? Literally.
- I want you to come back.
- Why? Please unclench.
You're not on the clock, and when you do that, I clench and it's a whole thing.
Could you look at your pager? It's no big deal.
Some sort of epidemic.
Not my area.
- You should go.
It's important.
- What I'm doing now is important.
- Why do you want me back? - 'Cause you're a good doctor.
- That's it? - That's not enough? Not for me.
Go deal with your plague.
You are in a quarantined area.
Please remain calm and stay in line.
A doctor will see you shortly.
When you see a doctor, you will receive a blue or yellow form.
Patients with blue forms must immediately exit to the parking lot.
Dr.
House.
Need you here.
Sorry.
Lot of sick people.
I might catch something.
A judge at the campus pool center collapsed.
L.
P.
revealed a virulent form of bacterial meningitis.
Great.
You got it diagnosed.
You don't need me.
were exposed.
They're being bused to all the neighboring hospitals.
That's a problem with resources, not diagnostics.
I-- I'd be completely lost, get in everyone's way.
Joe.
Dr.
House doesn't have a blue slip.
No one leaves the quarantine area without a blue slip.
You are a doctor at this hospital.
Act like one.
And take these.
You win a trip to the second floor.
Next.
All right.
No fever.
No rash.
You're fine.
Take these two pills.
And show this blue slip to Security on your way out.
Next.
Take these.
Go home.
Talk to your daughter.
What? Your pants, your blouse, your scarf are all freshly dry cleaned.
Everything except your jacket.
It's got a smudge on it.
Probably two days old.
Which means you didn't know the jacket had been worn.
So either your husband is a cross-dresser, or your daughter's been borrowing your clothes without telling you.
She probably wants to look older to get into bars.
I don't have a daughter.
Next.
So I have it? Take the yellow form to the second floor.
You're gonna be fine.
I'm gonna die.
It's treatable-- as long as you go to the second floor.
Next.
Yow.
Fever? Does that mean I have it? Do you have a rash? Come on.
It's from my new bathing suit.
I've had it a week.
Yeah.
Does your neck hurt? If it does, you hit the trifecta.
It's nothing.
I pulled it trying to do a three-and-a-half tuck.
Where are your parents? We live in Chicago.
I'm here with my coach.
I wanted to see what you were writing.
Go like this.
Ow.
Go like this.
Take these pills.
Blue slip will get you out of here.
Next.
You're coming with me.
Proceed to the second floor for further examination.
You're gonna need a C.
T.
scan.
Second floor.
Take the elevators, follow the parade.
Next.
Maybe it's something systemic.
Or maybe it's meningitis.
She's had the rash a week.
If it was this meningitis she'd be dead by now.
You guys figure we're done down there? The 800 people milling around are just waiting for the bathroom? Twelve-year-old female.
Fever, rash, neck pains.
Not meningitis.
It's the definition of meningitis.
Sure.
Pus in the spinal canal makes it hurt to move your head up and down, but her neck only hurts moving side to side.
- Oh, side to side.
- Doesn't fit.
The three of you, lobby, now.
Those little pills you're passing out so efficiently aren't gonna do Miss Louganis squat.
You just don't want to deal with the epidemic.
That's right.
I'm subjecting a 12-year-old to a battery of dangerous and invasive tests to avoid being bored.
Okay, maybe I would do that.
But I'm not.
If it turns out she's got meningitis, you're right, you win; but if we go back downstairs and she dies-- your face will be so red.
You have one hour.
Get a lumbar puncture.
Some brain infections can be pretty clever at hide-and-seek.
I'll get on her blood work.
No, you won't.
You, sir, will research all the causes in the universe of neck pain.
- The list is, like, two miles long.
- Start with the letter "A".
And put her on rifampin.
Rifampin is for meningitis.
You just said-- In case I'm wrong.
It has happened.
Brenda, I need a C.
B.
C.
Chem 7 in 2046.
Hold on.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Hey, there's a line here.
That's why I said excuse me.
Brenda, I need a bed and a-- We all need stuff.
Push me again.
Brenda, I need a bed and a nurse for a lumbar puncture.
No beds, no nurses for at least four hours.
I've only got one.
Your patient only has an hour to live unless she gets a lumbar puncture? Cuddy only gave us an hour to work on the patient.
Back of the line.
Do not leave the quarantine area until you have been seen by a doctor.
When you see a doctor, you will receive a blue or yellow form-- This novocaine will numb you for the lumbar puncture.
Sorry this has to be so public, Mary.
Normally I'm in a bathing suit with 5,000 people staring at my butt.
I can block this out.
These kids are all very mature.
Travel around the country from event to event.
Okay, I want you to hold your knees and tuck your head.
- Like a dive? - Exactly.
Good.
Great.
Don't forget to breathe.
All right.
Sorry.
Geez.
Coach, help me out here.
Play a little defense before I poke the wrong thing.
Okay, here we go.
- Ow.
I feel it.
Ow.
I feel it.
I fee-- Ow.
- Try to relax, Mary.
Try to relax.
Relax.
What letter are you up to? "A".
Torture combing through all that stuff, ain't it? - Real dull.
Awful.
- It's no problem.
Well, thank goodness.
A lot of people would resent having to do this.
If you receive a blue form, please exit the area.
If you receive a yellow form, please proceed to the second floor.
Where's the 12-year-old girl that was here? Needed the gurney.
She just had a lumbar puncture.
She's not supposed to be moved.
Sorry.
We needed the gurney.
Hey.
- Hey.
- You okay? How's your head feeling? She's got a headache and she's dizzy.
She shouldn't have been moved after the procedure.
I'm sorry.
I'm fine.
What did the test show? No meningitis and no other infections.
But you're not carrying a blue form.
I have something else, don't I? Something's causing your symptoms.
We're gonna keep you here overnight.
I know it's a little crazy in here, but hopefully it'll settle down and we'll be able to get you a room.
I'm sorry.
I'm not usually all emotional like this.
I just-- You're doing great.
Your folks land in a few hours.
I just-- I haven't slept.
I'm so tired.
Oh, my God.
My eye's bleeding.
What is it? What's happening? Oh, don't worry.
The antibiotic we gave you in case you had meningitis can turn your tears reddish.
That's not blood.
But that-- That's blood.
That's going into my stomach? The lavage showed blood in your G.
I.
tract.
We need to find where it's coming from.
You won't feel it.
I'm gonna numb the back of your throat, and Dr.
Foreman is gonna give you a sedative.
Open.
- Ugh.
- Swallow.
Now lay on your side for me.
And here we go.
- Yell fire or something.
- People, this area is highly contagious.
Please step back.
Highly contagious.
All right.
Try to relax, Mary.
This shouldn't take too long.
I don't see any tears or lesions.
All right.
I'm in the stomach.
It's not bleeding.
There was more than a tablespoon of blood in the mouth, so it's gotta be there.
Maybe her small intestine.
Thirty feet of digestive tract, it could be anywhere in there.
We're not gonna see it with this.
Believe it or not, this is a camera.
You swallow it, and it goes all the way through your system.
The antennae pick up the signal from the pill.
Then we look at the video of your intestines, see where the blood is coming from, and fix it.
All right? Water? Down the hatch.
Think I've seen this movie.
The ending's kind of dark.
You want one? How come you did the endoscopy? - He asked for help.
- Her blood pressure was high.
Foreman is not your boss.
When I tell you to do something-- Whoa.
Hold it there.
Back it up a couple of frames.
Oh, yeah.
That's your money shot.
I don't see anything.
Really? "Ginormous" thing on the right side of her intestine.
That doesn't intrigue you? Does "ginormous" mean really big, or really, really small? - 'Cause I don't see anything.
- There? The Dieulafoy? Well, we can burn off the swollen blood vessel, but it still doesn't account for her other symptoms.
No, but it does tell us something.
Though I have no idea what.
Could be a precursor to intestinal intussusception.
Precursor isn't causing all her other symptoms.
What else? You, in the lobby now.
I hurt my leg.
I have a note.
You had your hour-- three, actually.
Dr.
Chase, I told you to tell us when our time was up.
She has intestinal bleeding.
She'll wait.
Two more buses just arrived.
We need you downstairs.
No, you need more nurses, but you cut back on the nursing staff, so now you've got doctors doing what nurses should be doing.
That's true.
I wonder if that has anything to do with you costing us $100 million.
Attention.
If you do not have a blue form, you will not be allowed to leave the quarantine area.
Go.
Be free.
If it's not the intussusception, what about stomach cancer? Does she have any abdominal pain? No.
Then it's not stomach cancer.
Have you ruled out sepsis? The L.
P.
and blood smears showed no signs of infection.
Here.
Take these two pills and you can go.
Well, the lab's working at double their capacity.
Maybe someone screwed up.
No fever, no neck pain.
Take the elevator to the third floor-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wrong form.
- No fever, no neck pain.
She's fine.
- Smell her hair.
No chlorine.
Which means she wasn't at the pool, which means she's come to a quarantined area because she's an idiot or she's insane.
No one is that stupid.
East wing, psych ward.
Bye-bye.
Neck pain could be a symptom for bone cancer.
You up to the B's? Well done.
That would account for all her meningeal symptoms-- rash, fever.
You're fine.
Take these two pills.
Get a sample of her bone marrow.
From here? Break time.
- I need more than 15 minutes.
- Use Chase's break too.
Go.
You should just fire Chase.
What, and miss out on all this fun? So you're gonna torture him for a while and then fire him? That's cold.
You don't think he has it coming? Hey, I said fire him.
That's cold.
All he did was save his job.
What? He completely screwed you over.
Right rudder.
Bank, bank, bank.
Good coffee? The rest of this hospital is busting its tail and you're-- - What are you doing? - Trying to think of anything except the produce department at Whole Foods.
I am working.
It got hot.
Stop acting like a 13-year-old.
Sorry.
You just don't usually see breasts like that on deans of medicine.
Oh, women can't be heads of hospitals? Or just ugly ones? No, they can be babes.
It's just you don't usually see their fun bags.
Your 3:00 interview for Dr.
Cameron's position is in your office.
Not interviewing today.
I don't know if you've heard, but there's this big-time epidemic.
Many sick people.
Puking in the hallways.
It's crazy.
We can reschedule.
No, you won't.
You will interview this person.
And if he can put two sentences together, you will send him to the lobby where he will do his job.
Unlike the two of you.
Come on.
You know I can't do a bone marrow aspiration in the hallway.
And I can't give you a procedure room.
I just need something at least close to a sterile environment.
I need ten more nurses.
Brenda, listen.
Listen.
She'll die.
At least she'll have a bed then.
Put that over there.
Are there dead people in those cabinets? I hope that's who's in there.
Just be calm.
Relax.
Ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Hang on.
Hang on.
You know, I really admire the way you don't care what anyone thinks.
You just do what you want, the way you want.
So you went to Hopkins for both undergrad and med school? - That's right.
- He's in a band.
- You're into music? - Totally.
What kind of music do you play? Mostly blues, you know, James Cotton, some original stuff.
- Oh, dude, you are so hired.
- Really? - Not a chance.
- Why? Tattoo.
Wow.
I thought you'd be the last person to have a problem with nonconformity.
Nonconformity.
Right.
I can't remember the last time I saw a 20-something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist.
You are one wicked freethinker.
You want to be a rebel? Stop being cool.
Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a haircut, like the Asian kids who don't leave the library for 20-hour stretches.
They're the ones who don't care what you think.
Sayonara.
So, should I go through all the résumés looking for Asian names? Actually, the Asian kids are probably just responding to parental pressure, but my point is still valid.
So when do they think you're getting out of here? They don't know.
You don't look sick.
Better hope you're not.
- This equipment looks like it's 100 years old.
-Just got it out of storage.
It is the previous generation, but it works just fine.
Could you, uh-- Could you guys give us a second? If it's good news, you can tell them.
Okay.
We're, uh, we're pretty sure it's not cancer.
- Hey, that's great.
- I'll call your parents.
Well, we still can't release her.
We still don't know yet exactly what's causing the-- Mary? - What's wrong? - She's having an absence seizure.
Mary? You okay? She looks fine.
I need some help over here.
Push two milligrams Ativan, stat.
Are you sure it was an absence seizure? Absolutely.
She was totally unresponsive and unaware of what was going on around her.
Do you mind? We're trying to work.
We should get back out there.
Cuddy's gonna be looking for us.
Looking, but not finding.
Did you do an E.
E.
G.
? Seizure frequency's increasing.
They-- They're almost constant now.
Five in the last half hour.
Which tells us-- It's definitely in her brain.
- And it's getting worse.
- And? Good Lord.
Are you having a bowl movement or a baby? Could be barbiturate withdrawal.
- No, it can't be drugs.
She's tested at every meet she competes at.
A bleed in the brain could cause seizures.
Rat poison? Could also cause the neck pain.
You think she's eating off the floor of her folks' garage? Doesn't have to be.
Who would poison a 12-year-old? Well, let's see now.
There's the 18-year-old has-been that she beat out to make the Nationals, the has-been's parents, jealous siblings, sociopathic swim fan, and then there's just your plain old garden variety whack job.
Hey.
- You know what a hemorrhoid is? - No.
Well, Google it.
And try some raisin bran instead of the doughnuts.
Do a C.
T.
scan.
Check for intracranial bleeding.
Not a chance.
Radiology's totally swamped.
If our patient's bleeding into her brain, she's gonna be dead in eight hours.
She could be, but a meningitis patient will be without a C.
T.
scan.
- When I was in med school, I had this old professor-- - Who touched you in the naughty place? Before the C.
T.
scan was introduced, he specialized in transcranial ultrasound.
Hmm.
Ancient, but if there's enough bleeding it might work.
Okay, do what the guy who didn't specialize in neurology said.
It was my idea.
Nyah, nyah, nyah.
You've still gotta cover "Q" to "Z".
Sorry I'm late.
I was taking a dump.
I'm guessing I'm better off interviewing right after than right before.
Dr.
Petra Gilmar, Dr.
Gregory House.
You actually speak four languages, or are you just banking on never being interviewed by anyone who does? It's true, and I can swear in two more.
Why are you leaving Dr.
Hazel? Did you fall for him and can't handle it, or was it the other way around? - Yes, well, pretty much every fellowship ends that way.
- No, it was nothing like that.
- You Jewish? - Yes.
Is it true what they say about jewish foreplay? - Two hours of begging? - I heard four.
Well, actually, I'm only half Jewish.
Look, I know you like to play games with people.
I know you like to say outrageous things and study how they react.
What you should know about me is that I grew up with four brothers.
Keep your hands to yourself, I'm okay with anything that comes out of your mouth.
Uh, well, that's, uh, great.
I think that's all we need.
Thank you for coming by.
Thank you.
- That's our Hitler! - No way.
Are you kidding? Her background's perfect.
She's smart, she can obviously deal with your insanity-- You see her shoes? Her shoes? What, did your horoscope in Vogue tell you to avoid women wearing green shoes? The eyes can mislead, a smile can lie, but the shoes always tell the truth.
- They were Prada.
Means she has good taste.
- They were not Prada.
You wouldn't know Prada if one stepped on your scrotum.
Okay.
Well, they were nice.
Pointy.
Exactly.
They were stylish, and very painful to wear.
Only an incredibly shallow, insecure woman would rather be in pain all day long than wear a decent-looking, comfortable shoe, and that's exactly the type I don't need around here.
No.
Someone who can handle a lot of pain is exactly the type you do need.
Excuse me.
What are you doing? I'm "ultrasounding" your head.
You're still having seizures.
This should help us figure out what's going on.
Blue form to the security guard.
You're not gonna be happy with anyone.
So what, your advice is hire someone I'm not happy with and be happy? No, my advice is much more subtle.
Stop being an ass.
You always find some tiny little flaw to push people away.
Oh, now it's people.
I thought we were talking about fellowship applicants.
You have a history of this.
Well, when I do decide to push you away, I hope there's a small person kneeling behind you, so you fall down and hurt your head.
Take these.
There's water over there.
Blue form to the guard.
And you're done.
You had the perfect person, and you blew it.
You saw the shoes.
I'm not talking about her.
You're talking about Cameron.
I'm talking about every woman you've ever given a damn about.
Cameron is so not perfect.
Well, nobody's perfect.
Mother Teresa? Dead.
Angelina Jolie? No medical degree.
Now who's being picky? You're gonna wind up alone, House.
You were right.
There's a significant bleed in her temporal lobe.
But no poisons.
Did tox screens on her blood, urine, and hair.
Nothing.
Did them twice.
He's a little dehydrated.
Put him on a saline drip and give him some orange juice.
I need an operating room and a neurosurgeon.
Given the current crisis, I'm tempted to say no, but since you've been so sweet to me today-- Our little mermaid is bleeding into her temporal lobe.
- How fast can you have her prepped? - Twenty minutes.
You'll have a surgeon in the room in ten.
Mr.
and Mrs.
Carroll? Are you Dr.
House? - This is Dr.
Foreman.
- Is Mary all right? The operation went well.
The intracranial pressure's been relieved, and the swelling's already going down.
Oh, thank God.
Well, what happened? I mean, did she bang her head at a meet, or did she-- - No, nothing like that.
- Then why is she bleeding? Is she gonna be all right? I'm sorry.
We still don't know.
No toxins, no tumor, no bone cancer.
Renal failure could cause the rash, fever, and muscle pain.
Maybe it's some sort of genetic kidney disorder.
No family history.
- And no blood in her urine or uremia.
- Not yet.
You want to do a differential based on symptoms that might happen? - You got a better idea? - Stop it.
Stop looking for things we don't know and focus on what we do know.
What do we actually know, besides what's up there? Come on.
How hard can it be to tell me what you already know? - She's 12.
-She spends a lot of time in pools-- exposure to chemicals.
- She travels a lot.
- But never out of the country.
What else? Come on! We're gonna put you right here.
We're missing something.
What? Well, if I knew that, it wouldn't be missing.
Maybe she's adopted and we've got the wrong history.
No.
She's got her mom's eyes and a red patch of hair just like Dad.
What about an allergic reaction? That could explain the rash and muscle pain, but probably not the bleeding or seizures.
That's a lot of balloons.
- You think she's allergic to polyester? - Not unless she's been competing in the nude all these years.
Then what are you thinking? What do the balloons mean? What if the rash isn't a rash? What are you talking about? Who gave her the balloons? Some of the girls from her team.
They've been visiting her pretty regularly, but none of them are sick.
What about the guys? - None of them are sick either.
- Which guys visited her? Uh-- Actually, none.
She's cute.
She's nice.
She's a kick-ass diver.
You'd think the guys would be falling all over themselves to get close to her.
She's 12.
The youngest guy on her team is 16.
- Okay, so maybe they're just not interested, or-- - They're avoiding her.
There any cell fragments in her blood smears? No.
Red blood cells were intact.
Check 'em again.
Blood looks like it's been put through the blender now.
You done yet? You were right.
The rash wasn't a rash.
She's bleeding into her skin.
It's purpura.
Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura? Starts with "T".
You were so close.
What could have set it off? She had no traces of E.
coli in her cultures.
She's obviously not menopausal, so no estrogen.
There is one other possible cause.
Oh, God.
Pregnancy causes all kinds of chemical and biological changes in a woman's body-- or a girl's body, as the case may be.
In extremely rare cases, everything goes haywire.
It's called T.
T.
P.
Blood starts clotting like crazy and clogs the vessels in your brain and kidneys.
Red blood cells end up getting shredded as they squeeze past the clot, like a fat guy in a crowded bar.
I'm sure you know what that's like.
I mean, you're only 12, but you're all grown up, right? Travel on your own, hang out in hotel rooms getting room service with your teammates.
Maybe someone sneaks in a couple of beers.
You start playing spin the bottle.
Next thing you know you're waking up with nothing on but your socks.
It wasn't like that.
Ofcourse not.
- You wanted it.
- Yeah.
I did.
He turned out to be a jerk, but-- Actually, under New Jersey law, the term is felon.
I knew what I was doing.
We're gonna have to do something called plasmapheresis.
Cleans the antibodies from your blood.
We're also gonna have to terminate the pregnancy.
You gonna tell my parents? Someone should.
Rock, paper, scissors? They don't need to know.
I'll be all right.
Ofcourse you will.
I mean, if you're old enough to bleed out of your vagina, then obviously you're mature enough to handle a simple thing like an abortion without Mommy and Daddy's help.
You gonna tell my parents? Under New Jersey law, you're the boss.
Your daughter has T.
T.
P.
Don't worry.
It's curable.
She'll be fine.
Well, wait.
I mean, what does T.
T.
P.
stand for? Some really big words that you've never heard before and, when we're done, will never hear again.
Have a nice day.
- Well, when can we take her home? - Uh, in a few days.
She needs some minor surgery to remove the underlying cause before we can do the another really big word.
What's the underlying cause? - She has an abnormal growth in her abdomen.
- What kind of surgery? It's-- It's very simple.
We do it here all the time.
- Could you be a little more specific? - Actually, no.
I'm sorry.
We're almost done.
Hang in there.
You're doing good.
Feeling okay? Yeah.
You should be.
- Your platelets count's up.
- How's your neck? Looks good.
Anything else we can get you? No, thanks.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can I see my mom and dad? Plasmapheresis is working.
She's gonna be fine.
I know.
Hi.
I've got these.
I can't even tell you how much I appreciate the opportunity to meet with you.
- The moment I heard you had another fellowship opening, I-- - There is no opening.
House.
- You have to hire someone.
- I know.
Position's been filled.
- Why am I interviewing for a position that's already been filled? - Exactly.
I called to confirm the interview this morning.
You figure if you keep arguing, I'm gonna cave, admit it's all a lie and hire you? Do you need your parking validated? I don't wanna interview anyone else.
You're interviewing? I thought you'd just have them send a head shot along with their C.
V.
Ha.
That's good, and why I need you around-- to keep me in my place.
I can't come back.
I told you that.
- Wasn't listening.
- Right.
You want me to listen to you more? I can do that.
Right.
I already accepted a position somewhere else.
- With who? - Yeuell-- at jefferson.
- Unaccept it.
- Why? Because Yeuell is boring.
He's pedantic and preachy.
Because he's short.
Because I want you to come back.
Not good enough.
Want more money? A car allowance? Better parking space? Dinner.
And not just a meal between two colleagues.
A date.
You'll come back to work if I go out on a date with you? Yes.
Okay.
It's a deal.
See you tomorrow morning.
Don't be late.
I won't.