Desperate Housewives s02e02 Episode Script
201 - You Could Drive a Person Crazy
previously on "desperate housewives" why on earth would you let them finger paintbefore breakfast? It's my job to clean that up,so it's my call Some households reversed roles Let's give thisanother shot Some old flames - you want me back? - Yeah Were put out It has to be somethingyou're ingesting Who prepares your meals? I understand you've been havingsome marital problems And while some learn to forgive deirdre got pregnantbefore I went to jail Zach is your son,isn't he? Yep Others could not bring themselves to forget their past The remarkable thing about danny farrell was that he had only been a paperboy for six months and in that time,he had become the enemy of every woman on wisteria lane If there was a puddle on someone's property he found it If a new rosebush had just been planted he destroyed it If a cat was enjoying a moment in the sun he ended it People wondered if danny would ever change They should have talked to susan mayer She could have told them obnoxious boys tend to become obnoxious men just like the one she had been married to Hey! Carl,I see you Just stop right there Hey,susie Q.
What are you doing? I'm justgettin' the paper That's edie's paper and this is edie's house Do we have to do this now? I haven't had my coffee yet Did you spend the nightwith edie? Oh,my god Susie,just calm down You are forbiddenfrom ever seeing her again.
Do you hear me?Forbidden! We're divorced You can'ttell me who I can date I live on this street Yourdaughter lives on this street I will not have you flauntingyour sexcapades in front of us - Sexcapades? - Forbidden I would love to continue this but it's time for breakfast and edie is making mea frittata Oh! Well,I just bet she is Mrs.
Mayer,I gotta talk to you Oh,now is not a good time,danny You're a month behindin your payments I'll take care of it,I promise My dad says if you readsomething and don't pay for it that's the same as stealing Hi,ida Can we talkabout this later? I just found out my exis dating my neighbor and I'm really ticked off Save it!I provide you a service and I deserve to be paidfor that service Yes,the women of wisteria lane believe danny farrell to be the enemy Deadbeat! they also believed the enemy of my enemy is my friend ÈÙÓþ³öÆ· ±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌҵ;¾ -=COSL-YTETС×鹤×÷ÊÒ=- sync:YTET-ronald Beautiful lawns spacious homes happy families these are the hallmarks of suburbia but if you look beneath the veneer of gracious living you will see a battle raging a battle for control You see the combatants everywhere engaged in their routine skirmishes Fighting fiercely to have dominion over the world around them all the while knowing it's a battle they will lose Oh,hey,honey,just stick that anywhere I'll take care of it It's really pilin' up Oh,don't worry I have a system Really? Yeah,every two days,I clean Two days Yeah,I let the mess accumulate for two days and then I clean until it's sparkling and then the cycle starts all over again And why have I never seen the sparkling part? Well,because by the time you get home from work the boys have messed everything up again See? That's what I would call a flaw in the system What are you doin'? I think I'm asking you to clean the house Really?'Cause it sounds to me like you're criticizing me No No,no,no,no.
No I'm not saying it has to be sparkling How many times did I come home to a mess and I never said a word? Please,don't take this the wrong way I think you are doing a terrific job but let's be clear When you came home,it was to clutter I mean,come on,this is more than that Look at him,just chatting away So inconsiderate Phyllis,we've only been waiting here for two minutes I told you when we left the house that I needed to eat I have low blood sugar Do you wanna see me keel over? No in theory Here you are Thank you By the way mrs.
Van de kamp I heard about your husband's passing I'm so sorry.
Dr.
Van de kamp was one of my favorite customers,truly That's very sweet of you Thank you I'm not just being polite Mrs.
Van de kamp How are you feeling? Well,mr.
Pashmutti we're holding up as best we can under the circumstances I'm sorry This is rex's mother,phyllis I'm so sorry about your son Thank you.
You know the hardest thing is to lose a child I can't even imagine Come on,phyllis Let's get you something to eat We had no warning I was doing dishes when I got the call Really? Phyllis,there are people waiting,so come on Excuse me.
I--I'm so sorry but my son just passed away Oh,I'm so sorry Thank you.
I mean I was telling Mr.
Pashmutti here my life is--is over my life is over This is ridiculous you know that? Pen Don't you think I have better things to do than to bring you checks every day checks that I could be signing at home? This one's dry You know,taking away my access to our account,that's just vindictive Thank you Do you knowhow long it takes me to schlep out hereto this hellhole? Exactly.
It's the only way I can guarantee you'll come and visit me That's ridiculous.
You're my husband.
I love you Obviously,I would come visit I thought it was obviousthat when you love someone you wouldn't have an affair I was wrong,wasn't I? I'm getting really tiredof this song,carlos Isn't it about timeyou forgave me? You want my forgiveness,you got it.
My trust that you're gonnahave to earn Be careful,carlos Up until now I've been really lonelyin that big bed of ours but when you're rude to me itmakes me wanna be not so lonely Comments like thatare exactly why you'll never againhave access to my money Why are all rich men jerks? The same reasonall beautiful women are bitches So same time tomorrow? Sure,baby What do you mean,you know? I mean,I know What are you saying that your father actually told you he was gonna be having a onenight stand with edie britt? Uh,mom,this wasn'ta one night stand He's been going out with Mrs.
Britt for a few months now What? How could you not tell me that?We share everything That's what we're known for That's our thing Because I knew you'd wig out Besides,haven't you always told me to respect people's privacy? Oh,I've neverapplied that concept to your father's sex life and you know it Are you done? No! I have not even begunripping into edie britt yet Oh,that peroxide vulture I just know as sureas I am standing here that she went after your fatherjust to tick me off - Wrong again - What? He asked her out You lie It's true.
He called her for a datesix months ago the day aftermy birthday party The one at the piano bar? Yeah What is it? Oh,your fatherjust came over that day and told me some stuff You know,some stuffthat I haven'Tand can't tell you Wait.
Whatever happened to"we share everything"? Isn't that our thing what we're known for? Um,actually,I think what we'reknown for is sharing clothes Yeah.
I thinkthat's our thing why does he keep doin' that? He knows it's annoying He's just tryingto get to us Yeah,well,it's working Knock it off,down there do you hear what I'm saying? Matthew.
Matthew! Sit down You knowwe don't talk to him That's partof his punishment How can you just sit herehour after hour and listen to that? Well,that's part of mine carlos,what is thisbig emergency? I had to cancel my hairappointment with eduardo today Baby,what is it? I'm completelyfreaked out Why? There's this guy,his name's richie and he's beensaying some stuff to me and I'm gettin' worried Honey,you and your macho pride Just tell him you're flattered but you don't swing that way He's not hitting on me you idiot,he's threatening me Really? How? He saidhe's gonna beat me up unless I come upwith some money Well,how much money? $7,000 - $7,000? - Keep your voice down Why would he thinkyou have that kind of money? Because yesterday in a visitingroom filled with criminals my wife referred to meas a rich man Oh,right.
Sorry That's why I needed you to bring the checkbook He's actually willing to take a check? No You're gonna take the money to his girlfriend and if she doesn't get itby tomorrow,I'm screwed Honey,I thinkthis is a mistake If we give in to extortion the guy's just gonna keepcoming back for more money What choice do I have? You're a strong guy.
You went to college on an athletic scholarship,for god sakes Yeah,it was for golf Oh You have all my pants Yeah,I know.
Come on in I,uh,thought when I tookmy stuff back to my house I got everything Oh,it's fine.
They're in the garage So how have you been doing? Good.
UmI'm,uh,good.
I got a question for ya Sure,what is it? - Where are we now? - Where are we? Yeah.
We're notmoving in together and we're not broken up,so where are we? I don't know Since the guywho held me hostage turned out to be your son I think logic dictatesthat I should move on.
The problem is I'm crazy about you So so I'm thinking we shouldkeep it casual Casual What the hell does that mean,exactly,um,casual? well,I-I don't--I don't think there'sanything wrong with us seeing a movieonce in awhile A movie.
Okay.
Is that it? Jogging? There's no lawagainst jogging.
Anything else? Shopping.
That's casual.
That's fun Anything else we can do? Anything at all? brunch Brunch would be nice Sounds good to me All I can do is take itone day at a time.
yes Oh,okay.
Well thanks so muchfor calling.
Who was that? Oh,someone namedalan hanley My electrician? Why were you on the phone sobbing to my electrician? Oh,he called to offer youhis condolences Then why didn't youput me on? Oh,well,we got to talking and then he had to go He--he had some very beautifulthings to say about rex for god sakes,phyllis don't you ever worryabout dehydration? Are you sayingthat I am too emotional? I'm saying that even italianstake a break now and again My son is dead.
I'm grieving So am I,but no onewould ever know it with your incessantcaterwauling Bree! People want to knowhow I'm doing,but the minute they ask you you jumpinto the spotlight and they forget all about me I need consoling,too,phyllis Have you ever thought of that? I'm sorry It won't happen again Thank you Of course,if you didn't constantlysuppress your emotions people wouldn't forgetto console you Excuse me? Well,it's true You're stoicto the point of being cold I am not cold.
I just--well I don't likepublic displays of emotion Well,that's fine,but people wonder why they haven'tseen you cry I mean,some peopleactually wonder if you truly mourn rex People have said that? A few,yes.
Excuse me I'm looking for rita rivera.
Hi,are you rita? Yeah,who are you? I'm,uh,I'm gabrielle solis Our--our husbands are roommatesat the prison Richie and I aren't married Oh,I see.
Well,uh,your boyfriend asked my husband to give this to you It's a sort of favor It's all there.
$7,000 Son of a bitch! Oh,don't eventhink about it hellois there a problem? - Let me ask you a question? - Okay This might seemkind of weird but what do you thinkof my breasts? Excuse me? I mean,how do theylook to you? they're--they're nice Thank you.
I like too You're right.
That was weird You have no idea what this money is for,do you? No.
No.
You--you seem to have everything you need Richie wants meto get a boob job He wants 'em bigger He's obsessedwith huge breasts So are you gonna do it? I told him if he came upwith the cash,I would I just never thought the moronwould actually come up with it Not that it's any ofmy business but it's your body I wouldn't change anythingunless I really wanted to But if I don't do it,he'll leave me Honey,he's in jail.
How far is he gonna go? Maybe it's time you stood upfor yourself Tell him you don't needthe surgery It's worth a shot There you go.
I am so proud of you when lynette went back to work, she was aware her new job would be demanding What she hadn't anticipated was the night shift Hey,honey,I thought I heardyou come in about an hour ago I did.
I had to loadthe dishwasher You didn'thave to do that Yeah,I sorta did I'm sorry.
I've justfallen behind on my housework I just had so many errandsto run today But I'll make up for ittomorrow,okay? I promise That's the beautyof my system--it's flexible You know,for the sakeof our marriage please don't mentionthe system again I said I'm sorry What in the world? No,no,don't touch that Don't touch that Um,penny had a little spitty-uppy on the sheets And youdidn't change them? The towelis very clean Oh,that's disgusting No,it's justa little spit a little milky spit upon the sheets Please,I made a judgment call Please respect that No,I can't respect that and do you know why? It's stupid I'm gonna getnew sheets We are not changingthe sheets Why are youyelling at me? I am not yelling at you and this is not about spit up Of course it is No,it isn'T.
It's about control And as you and I both know youhave some issues in this area Why are you fighting so hardto sleep on baby vomit? I am fightingfor a principle.
Being too lazy to changethe sheets is not a principle You know what? You're not gonna win this one So you'd better justcrawl back into bed and let's go to sleep No,tom! Tom,no! I'm gonnachange the sheets! Oh,come on!No,you come on! Just get up!Get up! That's it!All right,fine! Fine! Fine! Fine! Normally lynette would have spent a sleepless night telling herself she didn't have control issues but she couldn'T She was too busy figuring out how to bend tom to her will hello? Hi Welcome to the promised land Go on.
There Good job! betty?Betty? Oh,betty can I ask you a question? Of course.
It's susan,right? Yes,hi.
I was just wondering, are you having some remodelingdone on your house or something? No.
Why? Well,I work at home so I'm home a lot working And I just keep hearingthese noises lately it's hard to concentrate Well,I haven'tnoticed anything.
Really? It sounds likeit's coming from your house.
You know it's likea clanging--clanging there! There that was it.
Did you hear it? Oh,yes Matthew's very handy He's always doingprojects around the house I guess I just don't noticethe noise anymore Even at 2:00 in the morning? Cause that's kind ofhard to miss I'm so sorry Matthew is somethingof an insomniac,susan But I will talk to him and we'll put a stop to it Afternoon,Mrs.
Mayer Hi,matthew Well,it was nice chattingwith you,susan This is my third phone call,mr.
Flannery And if someonedoesn't call me back soon I'm going to be irritated Is everything all right? That darn insurance companyis dragging its heels on paying rex's policy and I don't understand why Well,he died unexpectedly And that brings upa lot of questions It's probably easier when peopleare just diseased Probably Hi - Hi - Oh,hi,lynette I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting? No,no,not at all I saw you walk inand I've been meaning to callsince the service but work's been so crazy sohow are you doing? I'm all right well,you look amazing Do I? Absolutely well,I can't imaginewhat you're going through phyllis? You're going to have to stop that I can't help it When people talk about rex I-II just get emotional Well,I'm very sorryfor your loss,too,phyllis He was my firstborn I don't know what I will do without him Oh,I'm so sorry is she gonna be okay? yeah.
Sure.
Hold on a second there we go.
Feel better? Lynette,you were saying? I forgot That's all right It wasreally sweet of you to stop by Okay So,are we ready to order or do you needa little more time? I've been in the insuranceindustry for 15 years I've never receiveda phone call like this I'm having second thoughtsabout rex's death I've known rex and breefor nearly 20 years And I've never hadany reason to suspect they were anythingbut a happy,loving couple which is whythis seems so strange I found it in rex's roomafter he coded "I forgive you"? George,what are youdoing here? I'm here to kidnap you What? Get your purse I'm gonna take you bowling I-I don't know how to bowl Or to the moviesor for a frozen yogurt Whatever you want thank you,but I just couldn'T bree,I'm sure you haven' tgone anywhere in weeks You gotta get out and do things.
It'll help.
Trust me I do.
I'm just I'm just not ready yet But it was very sweet of youto think of me Well,you know,I tried And I appreciate that It's all right Let it out You want me to die in here,don't you? Carlos,what happened? What do you mean "what happened?" You talked rita out of taking the money Is that what richie said? Yeah,the subject came upin between kidney punches Well,it's not my fault She didn't want the money Why wouldn't she want $7,000? Because it's for a boob job - So? - So her boobs are fine And,honestly,what he's doing to her self-esteemis just cruel I feel sorry for her Please,you don't care about herself-esteem any more than I do You just didn't want to give upall that money Well,I do think it's sillyto give someone $7,000 if they don't want it Listen to me you're gonna go back there you're gonna put that moneyin rita's hands and you're gonna convince herthat life is not worth living unless she has jugsthe size of texas Do I make myself clear? I just realized rita and ihave a lot in common Please don't tell me you have low self-esteem cause if I laugh now I'm gonna crack the one good ribthat I have left We are both controlledby our husbands which is idiotic becausethey're both behind bars We should have all the power I am not tryingto control you I just don't wanna end upin the morgue This isn't about that Gabrielle,the morphine's wearing off I really don't have timefor these games Me either,carlos And if you expect me to go back and sweet talk herinto getting the operation I can't show up empty-handed Fine,bring me the checkbook I'll make out a checkfor some cash See I was thinking I'd be writing the checks Gabrielle-- careful,carlos you're notin a position to argue Whoo-hoo!Susan! Hey,edie - So,How much do you hate me? - What? Oh,karl said that you know allabout our dirty little secret - Yes,yes,I do - Well,I feel awful I should have told youthat I was doing your ex Well,it would've beenthe classy thing to do Well,etiquette is a lost artfor a lot of people You've gotta believe me,I never ever thoughtanything would happenwith us But on our first date karl took meto a mexican restaurant You know what I get likewhen I drink tequila A couple of shootersand my bra unhooks itself Circumstances beyondyour control I get it.
So if you'll excuse me Hey.
Hey,hey I am offering youan opportunity here I mean,go ahead--vent Let me have it Come on,tell mewhat a bitch I am Yeah,for snacking onyour leftovers I deserve it.
Come on,bring it on Honestly,edie,I don't mind You can skate offinto the sunset with karl Be my guest Well,that's good to know.
I probably shouldn'ttell you this,but while we were in my jacuzzilast night karl said it was the best sexhe's ever had bar none Actually,I'm gladthat you shared that because here'sa tidbit for you Karl said he's stillin love with me Edie,what are you doing? You are a lying liar We're in the middleof the street Would you get out of here? Karl never said that Okay,karl asked meto get back together the day afterjulie's birthday I said no which I'm guessingis the reason for the now legendary tequilabra-popping incident Please let go Oh,no.
We're not finished here Well,yes,we are.
I'm gonna go You don'thave the guts In five seconds,I'm gonna punch it Yeah?I'll key your car! Not if you're suckingmy exhaust,you won'T Take back what you said! No,I won't! Admit it,you'd do anything to destroy my happiness! Edie,for god's sake Why would I care if you end upwith a man I despise? Cause you and mikeare finished Yeah,word's out And now that youcan't be happy you don't wantanyone else to be,period Edie,come back here! We're not finished yet! So you'd say the abuse starteda few years into your marriage? It started so slowly I didn't realizewhat was happening I mean,he'd slap meover some little problem But he'd always apologize Then it got worse And one day,eight years ago my sonspilled soda on our new carpet Before I could moveto protect him virgil had knocked himon the ground and began kicking him I wanted to protect my baby but I didn't get there in time What happened to your son? Well,he died I came across one ofhis baby pictures last weekend That's when the nightmaresstarted again The last doctor I saw said thatI needed to let go of my guilt and then I wouldstart sleeping again Of course that's easier saidthan done And I am getting so tired I'm gonna start youon nitrazepam That shoulddo the trick Thank you I certainly hope your husbandwas punished for what he did Oh,there was retribution I made sure of that Where are youoff to? I'm,I'm going to seerex's lawyer We're going to go over somedetails involving rex's will Phyllis obviously,I'm just mortifiedover slapping you I've--I've just been ina weird place since rex's death,but that's no excuse I'm very,very sorry No need to apologize You're family All's forgiven Really? It's been a difficult timefor all of us I totally understand Now,go You don't want to be late foryour meeting about rex's will Claims.
This is joe flannery Hello,could I speak to someone about the death benefits for rex van de kamp,please? This is his mother Yes,we've already spokento his wife several times We are moving as quicklyas we can Are you aware that mydaughter-in-law has a boyfriend? I'm listening Control-- it's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it Some rely on deception While others engage in outright trickery Then there are those who resort to extortion Why do we fight so hard for control? because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others And what could be more dangerous? ÈÙÓþ³öÆ· ±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌҵ;¾ -=COSL-YTETС×鹤×÷ÊÒ=- sync:YTET-ronald
What are you doing? I'm justgettin' the paper That's edie's paper and this is edie's house Do we have to do this now? I haven't had my coffee yet Did you spend the nightwith edie? Oh,my god Susie,just calm down You are forbiddenfrom ever seeing her again.
Do you hear me?Forbidden! We're divorced You can'ttell me who I can date I live on this street Yourdaughter lives on this street I will not have you flauntingyour sexcapades in front of us - Sexcapades? - Forbidden I would love to continue this but it's time for breakfast and edie is making mea frittata Oh! Well,I just bet she is Mrs.
Mayer,I gotta talk to you Oh,now is not a good time,danny You're a month behindin your payments I'll take care of it,I promise My dad says if you readsomething and don't pay for it that's the same as stealing Hi,ida Can we talkabout this later? I just found out my exis dating my neighbor and I'm really ticked off Save it!I provide you a service and I deserve to be paidfor that service Yes,the women of wisteria lane believe danny farrell to be the enemy Deadbeat! they also believed the enemy of my enemy is my friend ÈÙÓþ³öÆ· ±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌҵ;¾ -=COSL-YTETС×鹤×÷ÊÒ=- sync:YTET-ronald Beautiful lawns spacious homes happy families these are the hallmarks of suburbia but if you look beneath the veneer of gracious living you will see a battle raging a battle for control You see the combatants everywhere engaged in their routine skirmishes Fighting fiercely to have dominion over the world around them all the while knowing it's a battle they will lose Oh,hey,honey,just stick that anywhere I'll take care of it It's really pilin' up Oh,don't worry I have a system Really? Yeah,every two days,I clean Two days Yeah,I let the mess accumulate for two days and then I clean until it's sparkling and then the cycle starts all over again And why have I never seen the sparkling part? Well,because by the time you get home from work the boys have messed everything up again See? That's what I would call a flaw in the system What are you doin'? I think I'm asking you to clean the house Really?'Cause it sounds to me like you're criticizing me No No,no,no,no.
No I'm not saying it has to be sparkling How many times did I come home to a mess and I never said a word? Please,don't take this the wrong way I think you are doing a terrific job but let's be clear When you came home,it was to clutter I mean,come on,this is more than that Look at him,just chatting away So inconsiderate Phyllis,we've only been waiting here for two minutes I told you when we left the house that I needed to eat I have low blood sugar Do you wanna see me keel over? No in theory Here you are Thank you By the way mrs.
Van de kamp I heard about your husband's passing I'm so sorry.
Dr.
Van de kamp was one of my favorite customers,truly That's very sweet of you Thank you I'm not just being polite Mrs.
Van de kamp How are you feeling? Well,mr.
Pashmutti we're holding up as best we can under the circumstances I'm sorry This is rex's mother,phyllis I'm so sorry about your son Thank you.
You know the hardest thing is to lose a child I can't even imagine Come on,phyllis Let's get you something to eat We had no warning I was doing dishes when I got the call Really? Phyllis,there are people waiting,so come on Excuse me.
I--I'm so sorry but my son just passed away Oh,I'm so sorry Thank you.
I mean I was telling Mr.
Pashmutti here my life is--is over my life is over This is ridiculous you know that? Pen Don't you think I have better things to do than to bring you checks every day checks that I could be signing at home? This one's dry You know,taking away my access to our account,that's just vindictive Thank you Do you knowhow long it takes me to schlep out hereto this hellhole? Exactly.
It's the only way I can guarantee you'll come and visit me That's ridiculous.
You're my husband.
I love you Obviously,I would come visit I thought it was obviousthat when you love someone you wouldn't have an affair I was wrong,wasn't I? I'm getting really tiredof this song,carlos Isn't it about timeyou forgave me? You want my forgiveness,you got it.
My trust that you're gonnahave to earn Be careful,carlos Up until now I've been really lonelyin that big bed of ours but when you're rude to me itmakes me wanna be not so lonely Comments like thatare exactly why you'll never againhave access to my money Why are all rich men jerks? The same reasonall beautiful women are bitches So same time tomorrow? Sure,baby What do you mean,you know? I mean,I know What are you saying that your father actually told you he was gonna be having a onenight stand with edie britt? Uh,mom,this wasn'ta one night stand He's been going out with Mrs.
Britt for a few months now What? How could you not tell me that?We share everything That's what we're known for That's our thing Because I knew you'd wig out Besides,haven't you always told me to respect people's privacy? Oh,I've neverapplied that concept to your father's sex life and you know it Are you done? No! I have not even begunripping into edie britt yet Oh,that peroxide vulture I just know as sureas I am standing here that she went after your fatherjust to tick me off - Wrong again - What? He asked her out You lie It's true.
He called her for a datesix months ago the day aftermy birthday party The one at the piano bar? Yeah What is it? Oh,your fatherjust came over that day and told me some stuff You know,some stuffthat I haven'Tand can't tell you Wait.
Whatever happened to"we share everything"? Isn't that our thing what we're known for? Um,actually,I think what we'reknown for is sharing clothes Yeah.
I thinkthat's our thing why does he keep doin' that? He knows it's annoying He's just tryingto get to us Yeah,well,it's working Knock it off,down there do you hear what I'm saying? Matthew.
Matthew! Sit down You knowwe don't talk to him That's partof his punishment How can you just sit herehour after hour and listen to that? Well,that's part of mine carlos,what is thisbig emergency? I had to cancel my hairappointment with eduardo today Baby,what is it? I'm completelyfreaked out Why? There's this guy,his name's richie and he's beensaying some stuff to me and I'm gettin' worried Honey,you and your macho pride Just tell him you're flattered but you don't swing that way He's not hitting on me you idiot,he's threatening me Really? How? He saidhe's gonna beat me up unless I come upwith some money Well,how much money? $7,000 - $7,000? - Keep your voice down Why would he thinkyou have that kind of money? Because yesterday in a visitingroom filled with criminals my wife referred to meas a rich man Oh,right.
Sorry That's why I needed you to bring the checkbook He's actually willing to take a check? No You're gonna take the money to his girlfriend and if she doesn't get itby tomorrow,I'm screwed Honey,I thinkthis is a mistake If we give in to extortion the guy's just gonna keepcoming back for more money What choice do I have? You're a strong guy.
You went to college on an athletic scholarship,for god sakes Yeah,it was for golf Oh You have all my pants Yeah,I know.
Come on in I,uh,thought when I tookmy stuff back to my house I got everything Oh,it's fine.
They're in the garage So how have you been doing? Good.
UmI'm,uh,good.
I got a question for ya Sure,what is it? - Where are we now? - Where are we? Yeah.
We're notmoving in together and we're not broken up,so where are we? I don't know Since the guywho held me hostage turned out to be your son I think logic dictatesthat I should move on.
The problem is I'm crazy about you So so I'm thinking we shouldkeep it casual Casual What the hell does that mean,exactly,um,casual? well,I-I don't--I don't think there'sanything wrong with us seeing a movieonce in awhile A movie.
Okay.
Is that it? Jogging? There's no lawagainst jogging.
Anything else? Shopping.
That's casual.
That's fun Anything else we can do? Anything at all? brunch Brunch would be nice Sounds good to me All I can do is take itone day at a time.
yes Oh,okay.
Well thanks so muchfor calling.
Who was that? Oh,someone namedalan hanley My electrician? Why were you on the phone sobbing to my electrician? Oh,he called to offer youhis condolences Then why didn't youput me on? Oh,well,we got to talking and then he had to go He--he had some very beautifulthings to say about rex for god sakes,phyllis don't you ever worryabout dehydration? Are you sayingthat I am too emotional? I'm saying that even italianstake a break now and again My son is dead.
I'm grieving So am I,but no onewould ever know it with your incessantcaterwauling Bree! People want to knowhow I'm doing,but the minute they ask you you jumpinto the spotlight and they forget all about me I need consoling,too,phyllis Have you ever thought of that? I'm sorry It won't happen again Thank you Of course,if you didn't constantlysuppress your emotions people wouldn't forgetto console you Excuse me? Well,it's true You're stoicto the point of being cold I am not cold.
I just--well I don't likepublic displays of emotion Well,that's fine,but people wonder why they haven'tseen you cry I mean,some peopleactually wonder if you truly mourn rex People have said that? A few,yes.
Excuse me I'm looking for rita rivera.
Hi,are you rita? Yeah,who are you? I'm,uh,I'm gabrielle solis Our--our husbands are roommatesat the prison Richie and I aren't married Oh,I see.
Well,uh,your boyfriend asked my husband to give this to you It's a sort of favor It's all there.
$7,000 Son of a bitch! Oh,don't eventhink about it hellois there a problem? - Let me ask you a question? - Okay This might seemkind of weird but what do you thinkof my breasts? Excuse me? I mean,how do theylook to you? they're--they're nice Thank you.
I like too You're right.
That was weird You have no idea what this money is for,do you? No.
No.
You--you seem to have everything you need Richie wants meto get a boob job He wants 'em bigger He's obsessedwith huge breasts So are you gonna do it? I told him if he came upwith the cash,I would I just never thought the moronwould actually come up with it Not that it's any ofmy business but it's your body I wouldn't change anythingunless I really wanted to But if I don't do it,he'll leave me Honey,he's in jail.
How far is he gonna go? Maybe it's time you stood upfor yourself Tell him you don't needthe surgery It's worth a shot There you go.
I am so proud of you when lynette went back to work, she was aware her new job would be demanding What she hadn't anticipated was the night shift Hey,honey,I thought I heardyou come in about an hour ago I did.
I had to loadthe dishwasher You didn'thave to do that Yeah,I sorta did I'm sorry.
I've justfallen behind on my housework I just had so many errandsto run today But I'll make up for ittomorrow,okay? I promise That's the beautyof my system--it's flexible You know,for the sakeof our marriage please don't mentionthe system again I said I'm sorry What in the world? No,no,don't touch that Don't touch that Um,penny had a little spitty-uppy on the sheets And youdidn't change them? The towelis very clean Oh,that's disgusting No,it's justa little spit a little milky spit upon the sheets Please,I made a judgment call Please respect that No,I can't respect that and do you know why? It's stupid I'm gonna getnew sheets We are not changingthe sheets Why are youyelling at me? I am not yelling at you and this is not about spit up Of course it is No,it isn'T.
It's about control And as you and I both know youhave some issues in this area Why are you fighting so hardto sleep on baby vomit? I am fightingfor a principle.
Being too lazy to changethe sheets is not a principle You know what? You're not gonna win this one So you'd better justcrawl back into bed and let's go to sleep No,tom! Tom,no! I'm gonnachange the sheets! Oh,come on!No,you come on! Just get up!Get up! That's it!All right,fine! Fine! Fine! Fine! Normally lynette would have spent a sleepless night telling herself she didn't have control issues but she couldn'T She was too busy figuring out how to bend tom to her will hello? Hi Welcome to the promised land Go on.
There Good job! betty?Betty? Oh,betty can I ask you a question? Of course.
It's susan,right? Yes,hi.
I was just wondering, are you having some remodelingdone on your house or something? No.
Why? Well,I work at home so I'm home a lot working And I just keep hearingthese noises lately it's hard to concentrate Well,I haven'tnoticed anything.
Really? It sounds likeit's coming from your house.
You know it's likea clanging--clanging there! There that was it.
Did you hear it? Oh,yes Matthew's very handy He's always doingprojects around the house I guess I just don't noticethe noise anymore Even at 2:00 in the morning? Cause that's kind ofhard to miss I'm so sorry Matthew is somethingof an insomniac,susan But I will talk to him and we'll put a stop to it Afternoon,Mrs.
Mayer Hi,matthew Well,it was nice chattingwith you,susan This is my third phone call,mr.
Flannery And if someonedoesn't call me back soon I'm going to be irritated Is everything all right? That darn insurance companyis dragging its heels on paying rex's policy and I don't understand why Well,he died unexpectedly And that brings upa lot of questions It's probably easier when peopleare just diseased Probably Hi - Hi - Oh,hi,lynette I'm sorry.
Am I interrupting? No,no,not at all I saw you walk inand I've been meaning to callsince the service but work's been so crazy sohow are you doing? I'm all right well,you look amazing Do I? Absolutely well,I can't imaginewhat you're going through phyllis? You're going to have to stop that I can't help it When people talk about rex I-II just get emotional Well,I'm very sorryfor your loss,too,phyllis He was my firstborn I don't know what I will do without him Oh,I'm so sorry is she gonna be okay? yeah.
Sure.
Hold on a second there we go.
Feel better? Lynette,you were saying? I forgot That's all right It wasreally sweet of you to stop by Okay So,are we ready to order or do you needa little more time? I've been in the insuranceindustry for 15 years I've never receiveda phone call like this I'm having second thoughtsabout rex's death I've known rex and breefor nearly 20 years And I've never hadany reason to suspect they were anythingbut a happy,loving couple which is whythis seems so strange I found it in rex's roomafter he coded "I forgive you"? George,what are youdoing here? I'm here to kidnap you What? Get your purse I'm gonna take you bowling I-I don't know how to bowl Or to the moviesor for a frozen yogurt Whatever you want thank you,but I just couldn'T bree,I'm sure you haven' tgone anywhere in weeks You gotta get out and do things.
It'll help.
Trust me I do.
I'm just I'm just not ready yet But it was very sweet of youto think of me Well,you know,I tried And I appreciate that It's all right Let it out You want me to die in here,don't you? Carlos,what happened? What do you mean "what happened?" You talked rita out of taking the money Is that what richie said? Yeah,the subject came upin between kidney punches Well,it's not my fault She didn't want the money Why wouldn't she want $7,000? Because it's for a boob job - So? - So her boobs are fine And,honestly,what he's doing to her self-esteemis just cruel I feel sorry for her Please,you don't care about herself-esteem any more than I do You just didn't want to give upall that money Well,I do think it's sillyto give someone $7,000 if they don't want it Listen to me you're gonna go back there you're gonna put that moneyin rita's hands and you're gonna convince herthat life is not worth living unless she has jugsthe size of texas Do I make myself clear? I just realized rita and ihave a lot in common Please don't tell me you have low self-esteem cause if I laugh now I'm gonna crack the one good ribthat I have left We are both controlledby our husbands which is idiotic becausethey're both behind bars We should have all the power I am not tryingto control you I just don't wanna end upin the morgue This isn't about that Gabrielle,the morphine's wearing off I really don't have timefor these games Me either,carlos And if you expect me to go back and sweet talk herinto getting the operation I can't show up empty-handed Fine,bring me the checkbook I'll make out a checkfor some cash See I was thinking I'd be writing the checks Gabrielle-- careful,carlos you're notin a position to argue Whoo-hoo!Susan! Hey,edie - So,How much do you hate me? - What? Oh,karl said that you know allabout our dirty little secret - Yes,yes,I do - Well,I feel awful I should have told youthat I was doing your ex Well,it would've beenthe classy thing to do Well,etiquette is a lost artfor a lot of people You've gotta believe me,I never ever thoughtanything would happenwith us But on our first date karl took meto a mexican restaurant You know what I get likewhen I drink tequila A couple of shootersand my bra unhooks itself Circumstances beyondyour control I get it.
So if you'll excuse me Hey.
Hey,hey I am offering youan opportunity here I mean,go ahead--vent Let me have it Come on,tell mewhat a bitch I am Yeah,for snacking onyour leftovers I deserve it.
Come on,bring it on Honestly,edie,I don't mind You can skate offinto the sunset with karl Be my guest Well,that's good to know.
I probably shouldn'ttell you this,but while we were in my jacuzzilast night karl said it was the best sexhe's ever had bar none Actually,I'm gladthat you shared that because here'sa tidbit for you Karl said he's stillin love with me Edie,what are you doing? You are a lying liar We're in the middleof the street Would you get out of here? Karl never said that Okay,karl asked meto get back together the day afterjulie's birthday I said no which I'm guessingis the reason for the now legendary tequilabra-popping incident Please let go Oh,no.
We're not finished here Well,yes,we are.
I'm gonna go You don'thave the guts In five seconds,I'm gonna punch it Yeah?I'll key your car! Not if you're suckingmy exhaust,you won'T Take back what you said! No,I won't! Admit it,you'd do anything to destroy my happiness! Edie,for god's sake Why would I care if you end upwith a man I despise? Cause you and mikeare finished Yeah,word's out And now that youcan't be happy you don't wantanyone else to be,period Edie,come back here! We're not finished yet! So you'd say the abuse starteda few years into your marriage? It started so slowly I didn't realizewhat was happening I mean,he'd slap meover some little problem But he'd always apologize Then it got worse And one day,eight years ago my sonspilled soda on our new carpet Before I could moveto protect him virgil had knocked himon the ground and began kicking him I wanted to protect my baby but I didn't get there in time What happened to your son? Well,he died I came across one ofhis baby pictures last weekend That's when the nightmaresstarted again The last doctor I saw said thatI needed to let go of my guilt and then I wouldstart sleeping again Of course that's easier saidthan done And I am getting so tired I'm gonna start youon nitrazepam That shoulddo the trick Thank you I certainly hope your husbandwas punished for what he did Oh,there was retribution I made sure of that Where are youoff to? I'm,I'm going to seerex's lawyer We're going to go over somedetails involving rex's will Phyllis obviously,I'm just mortifiedover slapping you I've--I've just been ina weird place since rex's death,but that's no excuse I'm very,very sorry No need to apologize You're family All's forgiven Really? It's been a difficult timefor all of us I totally understand Now,go You don't want to be late foryour meeting about rex's will Claims.
This is joe flannery Hello,could I speak to someone about the death benefits for rex van de kamp,please? This is his mother Yes,we've already spokento his wife several times We are moving as quicklyas we can Are you aware that mydaughter-in-law has a boyfriend? I'm listening Control-- it's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it Some rely on deception While others engage in outright trickery Then there are those who resort to extortion Why do we fight so hard for control? because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others And what could be more dangerous? ÈÙÓþ³öÆ· ±¾×ÖÄ»½ö¹©Ñ§Ï°½»Á÷£¬ÑϽûÓÃÓÚÉÌҵ;¾ -=COSL-YTETС×鹤×÷ÊÒ=- sync:YTET-ronald