Everybody Hates Chris s02e05 Episode Script

Working at Doc's corner store was pretty easy.
I stocked shelves, I delivered groceries.
Hurry up, Chris, and don't let her ice-cream melt.
I even made pickled eggs.
But the only work Doc never let me do was work the register.
Chris? Listen here.
I have to go and do something, I have to leave for about an half an hour.
- Ok, I'll help you lock-up.
- Oh, we're not locking-up.
I want you to stay here.
You think you can handle the register while I'm gone? For real? Where are you going? I got to go to the bank.
Since Doc didn't leave the store during business hours, he never got to go the bank.
I never knew where he kept his money.
That will be a deposit.
That mattress was his wallet.
I won't be gone long.
Don't take any bills over twenty dollars.
And count the change out loud.
Lick your fingers.
Make sure your bills don't stick.
There's a bamboo stick under the counter in case anybody give you any trouble.
Like who? A panda? Got it? Got it.
Can I help you? Yeah.
Give me the money.
Now! Malvo was the neighborhood’s repeat offender.
He always committed crimes.
Hey Shorty, that's real stuff* He always got caught.
And he always got out.
- See you next time, Malvo.
- A'right When Shawshank Redemption came out, Malvo thought it was a comedy.
- Hey, hurry-up! - Okay, okay.
Just don't shoot me.
Come on, man! You ever noticed how hard it is to think when you're terrified? - Boy, you don't want to do that.
- He's right! Twelve dollars, that's all you got in there? Doc just went to the bank.
Next time, you better have more than $12 in there.
I'm not playing, man.
He's not even finished robbing me this time, he's already planning on the next time.
Give me that.
And you better not tell nobody you just got robbed- by Malvo.
I'm also not telling anybody what I just did in my pants.
Transcript corrections: Anyone I knew it, I knew it! I knew I shouldn't have left.
Twenty two years, I've never left that cashier's alone with anyone else.
Yeah, yeah.
Since the store opened.
No, one day I do.
I get robbed.
Sorry Doc, I was going to hit with the bamboo stick but he took it.
Chris, look, it's not your fault.
He had a gun.
I much rather you get robbed than shot.
My pickled eggs He took my pickled eggs.
Now, who steals pickled eggs? May I talk to you a minute son? Can you- give me a description of the guy.
Yeah, he's the kind of guy that kills you if you describe him to the police.
What did he look like? I was pretty scared, I don't really remember much.
Remember anything, but color of clothes he had on, - Was he tall? - Short.
- Thin? - Fat.
- Dark? - Light.
If we get any leads, we'll let you know.
Yeah, considering I just described Mini "me".
Do you want me to walk you home? No.
I'm okay.
Before people had TVs in every room, families had to watch television the old fashion way.
By taking turns.
Stop! Mama, Drew keeps changing the channel.
I told her I was gonna let her watching right after I got the hockey score.
Look, I don't care what y'all watching long as y'all done when Sue Simmons comes on Live at Five.
That all changed when my father brought home the greatest technological innovation we had ever seen.
Hey, everybody.
I got a surprise.
A Betamax.
Didn't they stop making those? They sure did.
That's how I got it for half off.
The only time my father ever brought something new home was when it was old to everybody else.
I asked for a song-machine! What the hell is this? A loom.
What is that? - A Stove.
- If that's a stove, where's the witch? I asked for a car.
What the hell is this? A rickshaw.
That's Rick.
I wanted to tell my parents that I got robbed.
but I didn't want them to worry.
What's going on? Dad gets a Betamax.
Julius, what do we supposed to do without the tapes? I got a bunch of blank tapes with.
They were practically giving them away.
Probably throwing them away.
I'm going to record Billy Ocean videos.
And I'm going to record Night Rider.
What are you going to record baby? The 700 Club.
So I can pray not to get robbed again.
I don't know, maybe Rocky? You all can do whatever y'all want as long as I can record my stories.
Now, my father could catch a bonus sleep.
and the Young and the Restless.
Hey, Chris.
I brought you some old movies we had left over.
I got Sharky's Machine and Young Frankenstein.
Who's that? It's a Mel Brooks movie, it's hilarious.
- Thanks.
- No problem.
We're using them as doorstops.
You okay? Let me ask you a question? What would you do if somebody robbed you and you can identify them, but you afraid to? You got robbed? At the store.
This guy name Malvo.
He scared me to death.
You know, there was a similar situation in Sharky's Machine Burt Reynolds got ripped-off but he didn't wanna go to the cops.
What did he do? He killed all the bad guys.
Any other suggestions? Why don't you just go tell Doc who this guy is and let him deal with it.
'Cause he would kill me.
This guy is so bad, he broke into prison.
I'm sorry, man.
I don't know what to tell you.
- Can you do me a favor? - What? Please don't tell anybody, that you talked to me about this? I don't want the guy after me too.
Hey, Bosco, I hear you got a Betamax? Yeah, so? I got a movie for you.
A comedy.
Birth of a Nation a classic.
Hilarious.
You'll love it.
Couldn't be any worse than Soul Plane.
Here we go.
That's four cameras.
Between them and these stickers, the people stop and think twice.
It'd make Malvo stop and think about stealing the cameras.
Now, come on, let's finish up these sketches.
Yeah, so, how did you learn to do this anyway? I started painting nude portraits to mid chicks.
Then I got good at it.
He looked dark on the eyes.
Okay.
- Now, is that him? - Yeah, that's him.
Chris, that's Al Jarreau.
Come on now, you got to focus.
Every time we do this, it comes out different.
First time, this one looked like yeah, ain't that look like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? And that's George Jefferson, and isn't that Lionel Richie? Come on Chris Look, let's start over.
It was getting hard to think at more people that didn't look like Malvo.
So I thought, maybe it was time I just told Doc the truth.
Wait hey, Malvo.
Hey, Doc.
They let you out again? Yeah, I got time off for good behavior.
That's like letting the devil out of hell.
Are you keeping out of trouble? I'm trying to.
Man, I heard y'all got robbed.
Yeah.
That fool got twelve dollars, and my pickled eggs.
Who steal pickled eggs? steal/steals So, who's this? That's my helper, Chris.
Chris, say hi to Malvo.
Hi.
Yeah, he was here when it happened.
He's helping me out with the sketch of the guy who did it.
Oh yeah? Chris saw who did it, huh? Let me see that.
Yeah, this is the latest.
You know, it's Al Jarreau.
I know his record sales are down, but I don't think he'd be robbing no store.
I didn't really get a good look at the guy.
You must have been scared, huh? You say that again.
Well I'll let y'all know if I hear anything 'cause, you know, I'm in 'em streets.
Yeah, but, you- you need anything? No Doc, I like them cameras man.
They work? - Yeah! - Well, I see you later Chris.
Yeah, I got them hooked-up.
I got four here, and, I was thinking about putting two in the I wish Burt Reynolds was here.
While I was hoping I'd never see Malvo again, my father couldn't wait to see the Young and the Restless again.
Here we go.
Stay tuned for The Young and the Restless.
Cartoons?! Who recorded cartoon over my Young and the Restless? I bought that Betamax so everybody could enjoy.
I said you can tape anything you want.
All I want, is one thing: tape my stories.
That's all.
And I don't even get that? From now on, that red light is on on that Betamax, you don't touch it.
You hear me? Yes, daddy.
What? I'm just trying to tape my stories Julius, she's eleven, she made a mistake.
So what? Now, I can't get mad? - You get mad all the time! - Exactly.
But everybody's used to it.
If I did half the things I've the right to do, don't you think I would have been in jail a long time ago? What you're in for? Knocking my kids * off.
You need to apologize.
For what? I didn't tape over her show.
You are acting like a child.
- I'm not.
- Are too.
- I'm not.
- You are too.
I can't talk to her defense when she's wrong! If she was right, I'd understand.
Julius, that is not what I am trying to say.
What are you trying to say? Well, if you don't know then forget it! You can't be mad! I'm supposed to be mad! Rochelle! Mama wins again.
No.
Anybody? I couldn't pick-out a mug shot, because I didn't want to get shot.
We'll do another canvas, I'll let you know if we find anything.
No, they won't.
Stop sweeping.
We need to talk, right now.
What's wrong? We went through the whole mug shot, And you couldn't find anybody who even look like the guy.
Maybe, he is not in the book.
Would you tell me if he was? Yeah.
Chris, are you lying to me? No, what would I need to lie? I don't know.
But everytime I ask you a question, you looking east and west like you're waiting for a train.
Look, Chris, if you in trouble, it's okay to ask for help.
I'm not in trouble.
Then can you look me in the eye and tell me you don't know who robbed my store? If I lied again, Doc would never trust me.
No.
- It's okay? - No! You're fired Chris.
"The truth shall set you free, alright?" Free to find another job! I got fired.
Why? 'Cause you got robbed? 'Cause I didn't tell who robbed me.
Well, who robbed you? I'm not gonna tell.
Man, you lost your job? Wait till dad finds out.
All he's been doing, lately, is bragging about you working.
He was so happy! He's gonna be sad now.
I bet he was telling everybody at his job how proud he was of you.
He's gonna be so embarrassed.
He will never be able to let that down.
I mean, you lost your first job! I mean, I can't believe it.
Just glad it wasn't me.
Thank you.
A lot.
It wasn't going to be easy telling my father I'd lost my first job.
He was still working on the first job he ever had.
- Thanks, Julius.
- See you later, Miss Wilson.
- Hey dad.
- My man.
How's work going? You know, that's what I wanted to talk you about.
You know, I'm really proud of you for keeping that job, son.
It took a lot of courage for you to walk back in that store.
Thanks.
Do they sell sopa for digest at your job? - Yeah.
- When you go to work tomorrow, pick me up a cup.
Is there something else you want to talk to me about? No, sorry, forget about it.
My father being proud of me meant more than anything.
Except being shot by Malvo.
I figured it'd be easier to take a beating from Malvo than to tell my dad I'd lost my job.
Can I talk to you for a minute? I don't know if you can, but you may.
While in prison, Malvo got a PHD in comparative literature.
I was wondering if you could you know, kind of soften your heart.
Return the stuff that you stole from Doc's.
He laughed like he was watching The Jeffersons.
With the original Lionel.
- Forget it.
- No.
No, wait, kid! Wait, wait, come here! Man, you funny man.
You should be a comedian when you grow-up kid, That one was funny, man Man, what you doin'? You got a wire on boy? What? No! My bad, man.
Look man, let me explain some basic economic theory to you, alright? In life, there're people who make things, and there are other people who take things.
I would be a taker.
But I also can be a breaker.
But, never ever, a faker.
You follow me? Not really.
Okay, well, let me explain an economic theory.
The stuff that I stole, is mine.
Beat it! But you're funny, Doc, yeah! You funny.
Give it back.
Back home, my father was done being mad at Tonya, but she had just started getting mad at him.
You want some ice-cream? No.
You want some ice-cream, baby? Yes, mom.
My father knew he had to do something or this will go on forever.
Can you plug-in my heart? No.
If you ask me again, I might turn off your stories.
You smell ice-cream? Baby? Say you sorry.
What for? I do not know.
It's not what you did.
It's how you did it.
Julius, since day one, she's been your little princess, and all of a sudden, you screaming at her? - I didn't scream.
- Julius, as big as you are, you weren't even talking to me and I was scared.
The one thing I learned about women from my father is even when you're right, you're wrong.
Doc? Can I talk to you for a minute? I don't know if you can.
But you may.
I'm sorry for not telling you who robbed the store.
I was scared.
And you're not scared now? I want my job back.
But who was it, then? - It was Malvo.
- Malvo! Man, would you be quiet?! Come inside, boy.
Why didn't you say so? Because he showed his gun to me and he threatened to kill me! Exactly my point.
That Malvo is- crazier than three dogs with rabies.
Don't worry, you can have your job back.
What you doing? Call the police.
Tonya? Listen the other day, I didn't mean to howl at you.
I was upset.
I was looking forward to seeing my stories.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but my feelings were hurt too.
I didn't mean to do it.
I didn't mean to yell at you.
I didn't mean to do a lot of things.
That never stopped my father for smacking me upside the head.
- I'm sorry.
- Me too.
Why do you watch soap operas, anyway? What? Isn't daytime TV for women? We'll talk about that another time.
All right? Okay.
Since there were no witnesses to the crime, the only way to catch Malvo was to catch him in the act.
You ready? I don't know about this.
Don't worry about nothing, I'll be right here.
He tries anything? Hit him with this bag of quarters.
Yo, Chris.
Doc go to the bank again? No, he doesn't go until tomorrow.
Is he here? - No.
- So the money is here and he gone? Right.
Then you need to give up the money to Malvo.
Freeze! Don’t' move! Who set me up, boy? Hold right there.
That's right, I'm a bad guy.
Man! You didn't even have a real gun! It's hard to rob a gun store, man.
They got guns.
It's a catch-22 for Malvo.
Read him his rights.
Hey, where are you going with my quarter? It's evidence now.
Stand back, sir.
Doc never did, get his quarters back.
Later that year, the Bedstuy police department won a video game tournament.
Thanks Chris.
Now you did a good job.
No problem.
Being scared cost me my job, my father's admiration, and that was to high of a price for me.
So I learned, right, didn't I, that when you're in trouble, don't be afraid to ask for help.
Chris, when I get out, I'm coming after you! 'Y' 'O' 'O' Birdyben/Anyone/Sixe