Roseanne s02e15 Episode Script

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING.]
[NO AUDIO FOR DIALOGUE.]
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
IT IS SO COLD OUT THERE! HERE, HAVE SOME COFFEE.
YOU'RE A GOD.
OK, HERE.
HOW'S DAD? WELL, HE MIGHT HAVE BROKEN HIS HIP.
MOM'S TAKING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL.
OH, CUT IT OUT.
ROSEANNE, I THINK I SHOULD GO DOWN THERE WITH YOU.
NO! MOM'S TENSE ENOUGH ALREADY.
LIKE I AM GONNA MAKE HER MORE TENSE? SHE IS THE ONE THAT MAKES ME MORE TENSE.
AND YOU KNOW HOW SHE IS IN A CRISIS.
SHE CAN'T HANDLE A CRISIS! I CAN HANDLE A CRISIS! [DOOR SLAMS.]
THE CAR'S ALL WARMED UP.
YOU SHOULD HAVE PLENTY OF GAS.
I CHECKED THE OIL.
JUST DRIVE CAREFUL, WILL YA? THE ROADS ARE REAL ICY.
ROSEANNE, I--I SHOULD GO DOWN THERE WITH YOU.
YOU'RE GONNA NEED ME.
NO, I NEED YOU HERE.
HE'S WORKING YOU NEED TO BE ON MONSTER PATROL.
OK, I'LL STAY HERE, BUT YOU BETTER CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU GET DOWN THERE.
YEAH, LOOK, I GOT TO GO.
OK, THE KIDS GET UP AT 7:00.
THERE'S STUFF IN HERE FOR BREAKFAST, AND STUFF IN HERE FOR MAKING THEM LUNCH.
SO, BASICALLY, THE FOOD IS IN THE REFRIGERATOR? RIGHT.
ARE YOU GOING TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THIS? YES! YES! NO PROBLEM.
I MAKE THEM BREAKFAST, I MAKE THEM LUNCH.
WHY DON'T YOU JUST HELP WITH BREAKFAST, AND I'LL GIVE 'EM SOME MONEY ANDY THEY CAN BUY THEIR OWN LUNCH? DAN, I THINK MAKING THREE SANDWICHES IS WITHIN MY SCOPE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT, REALLY.
OK.
D.
J.
DOESN'T EAT LETTUCE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT WORK? OH, I CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT ABOUT THAT.
WHAT TIME ARE YOU GONNA BE BACK? LATE.
6:30, 7:00.
COME ON, BABY, I'LL WALK YOU BACK TO THE CAR.
WELL, YOU CALL ME.
I WILL.
TELL DADDY I LOVE HIM.
AND MOM.
MM-HMM.
YEAH.
I'M MAKING THEM BREAKFAST RIGHT NOW.
YEAH, THEY'RE ALL DRESSED.
THEY'RE ALL EATING.
HOW'S DAD? WELL, THAT'S NOT SO BAD.
HOW'S MOM? IS SHE DRIVING YOU CRAZY? YEAH, THERE IS.
THERE'S A LIQUOR STORE, LIKE, 4 BLOCKS FROM THEIR HOUSE.
YEAH, THEY'RE ALL SITTING RIGHT HERE.
HERE'S BECKY.
HEY, MOM.
D.
J.
, TOMMY'S MOM IS GONNA DRIVE YOU TO SCHOOL THIS MORNING, SO YOU HAVE TO KINDA HURRY.
YEAH, HANG ON.
HERE.
HI, MOM? D.
J.
, THAT IS SO RUDE.
AUNT JACKIE WHAT? LOOK WHAT BECKY DID.
OH! OH D.
J.
, COME TALK TO MOM.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, DOODY-HEAD.
D.
J.
, YOU'RE SO INSIGNIF.
I'M GONNA TELL MOM YOU CURSED.
HELLO, MOM? PUT THAT ON.
THAT'S NOT CLEAN.
NO, BUT IT'S DRY.
SO, YOU GET GOING NOW, GO TO SCHOOL.
GO--GO LEARN SOMETHING, PASS A NOTE.
I'LL BE HOME AT 3:30, UNLESS I HAVE DETENTION.
OTHERWISE, 4:20.
IT'S MOM WHAT? I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.
MOM--MOM, I GOT TO GO.
MOMMOM! MOM-- SHE'S STILL TALKING.
I GOT TO TRUCK.
ROSEANNENO.
FORGET IT.
SHE'S ALREADY GONE.
BUT IF YOU WANT ME TO, I'LL CALL HER THAT WHEN SHE COMES HOME.
HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M TRAPPED! I'M STUCK! SO, LISTEN, ARE YOU GOING TO BE GONE FOR THE WHOLE WEEK? NO, IT'S OK.
IT'S FINE.
NO PROBLEM.
D.
J.
'S STUCK IN HIS SHIRT.
WELL, YOU TELL DADDY I LOVE HIM, AND TELL MOM, HI.
AND, OH! WHAT'S DAN LIKE TO EAT? THAT'S DISGUSTING.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
WHAT? ROSEANNE? OH, HI, JACKIE.
HI, CRYSTAL.
SHE ALREADY LEFT.
YOU SPEAK TO HER? YEAH, I JUST HUNG UP FROM HER.
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
THEY'RE GONNA KEEP MY DAD IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A COUPLE OF MORE DAYS, BUT IT'S NOT A SERIOUS BREAK OR ANYTHING.
IS HE IN A LOT OF PAIN? WELL, HE'S--HE'S WITH MY MOTHER AND MY SISTER.
I SPOKE TO ROSEANNE LAST NIGHT, AND SHE COULDN'T GET AHOLD OF YOU YET AND WASN'T SURE SHE'D BE ABLE TO, SO I TOLD HER I'D COME BY AND JUST CHECK UP.
YOU MEAN CHECK UP ON ME, LIKE I COULDN'T HANDLE IT? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? I'M NOT TRYING TO SAY ANYTHING.
WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE.
I'M TIRED OF EVERYBODY THINKING I CAN'T HANDLE EVERYTHING.
I MIGHT NOT DO EVERYTHING EXACTLY THE WAY ROSEANNE WOULD DO IT IF ROSEANNE WAS HERE, OR THE WAY THAT YOU WOULD DO IT IF YOU WERE HERE, BUT I THINK I CAN HANDLE THREE KIDS FOR THREE DAYS.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS TAKE EVERYTHING I SAY THE WRONG WAY? WELL, MAYBE EVERYTHING YOU SAY COMES OUT THE WRONG WAY.
AND WHAT WAY'S THAT? OH, YOU KNOW, IN THAT PROPER, POLITE, ANNOYING, CRYSTAL KIND OF WAY.
AND WHAT'S WITH THE ACCENT? YOU GREW UP IN LANFORD, JUST LIKE WE DID.
[WITH A DRAWL.]
MY FATHER CAME Both: FROM ARKANSAS.
NOW LOOK, JACKIE, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET WITH YOUR DAD, IN THE HOSPITAL AND ALL, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I GOTTA STAND HERE AND TAKE ANY OF YOUR CRAP! MY LIFE ISN'T ALL SUNSHINE AND ROSES, YOU KNOW.
WELL YOU SURE AS HELL MAKE IT SOUND THAT WAY WITH THE LITTLE COSMETICS BAG AND YOUR PINK KITCHEN CHAIRS.
I'M SORRY YOU DON'T LIKE MY KITCHEN CHAIRS, JACKIE.
AND BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IT WILL DISTRESS ME THROUGHOUT THE DAY! OH WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL ROSEANNE I CAME BY.
CRYSTAL, WAIT.
I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.
CRYSTAL, HOLD ON, WAIT A SECOND.
CRYSTAL! WHAT? CRYSTAL I THINK YOU OWE ME AN APOLOGY.
I APOLOGIZE.
GOOD.
NOW, WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE? WELL, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO TO THE STORE.
I KNOW THEY'RE OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER, YOU KNOW, THAT CRUNCHY KIND.
IS THAT WHAT THE KIDS LIKE? I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S WHAT I LIKE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? PLAYING HOUSEWIFE.
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS ROOM'S EVER BEEN USED FOR THAT BEFORE.
I GOT THE WEEK OFF-- PERSONAL TIME.
ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF THE LANFORD P.
D.
YOU HUNGRY? I DON'T BELIEVE YOU, JACKIE.
I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THIS.
LIKE WHAT? WELL, YOU KNOW.
I MEAN, DID YOU CLEAN THIS PLACE? YEAH.
WELL, I HAD A LOT OF HELP.
THE GIRLS REALLY PITCHED IN.
IS THIS YEAH.
MY GIRLS? YEAH.
WHERE ARE THEY NOW? EVERYBODY'S UPSTAIRS DOING THEIR HOMEWORK.
HA HA, SUCKER.
WELL, THEY CLEANED UP WITHOUT COMPLAINING.
HOW DID YOU GET THEM TO DO THAT? CASH.
YOU BRIBED THEM? YEAH.
AND WHILE I WAS GIVING THEM MONEY, I TOLD THEM HOW IT WOULD BE REAL BAD FOR THEIR MOM TO COME HOME TO A FILTHY HOUSE, DISGUSTING HOUSE.
YOU LAID A GUILT TRIP ON THEM.
OH, SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR POT ROAST.
YOU MADE POT ROAST? CRYSTAL HELPED.
CRYSTAL MAKES GREAT POT ROAST.
WELL, IT WAS HER RECIPE, BUT I COOKED IT.
OF COURSE, SHE DID CALL UP AT 6:30 AND MAKE SURE THE GRAVY WAS RIGHT.
MILK.
CALCIUM.
RIGHT.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN ME, OR DID YOU ALREADY EAT? I'M NOT REALLY THAT HUNGRY.
BOY, YOU'RE HOME KIND OF LATE.
YEAH.
I HAD SIX GUYS IN BY 7:30.
WE ONLY GOT THROUGH THE MIDDLE DRIVEWAY BY LUNCH.
THE ARCHITECT CAME BY, THOUGH.
HE SAID HE WAS GONNA TAKE ME UP ON A C-BRACE IDEA FOR THE INTERIOR.
YOUR IDEA.
RIGHT.
YOU KNOW, JUST HIM TAKING UP THAT LITTLE SUGGESTION IS GOING TO SAVE A LOT OF TIME.
WELL, I'M SURE THAT HE COULD TELL YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT.
YEP.
YOU KNOW, IT'S A BIG JOB, BUT IT'S GREAT.
I GOT 11 GUYS WORKING UNDER ME.
MOST CONTRACTORS CAN'T EVEN GET WORK NOW.
THIS IS THE SLOWEST TIME OF YEAR.
THAT'S GREAT, DAN.
DIDN'T ROSEANNE TELL YOU? NO.
OH, YEAH.
I'M HITTING THE BIG TIME.
I'M A REGULAR BIG SHOT.
NO KIDDING.
WELL, I ALWAYS TOLD SIS THAT YOU WERE GONNA MAKE IT BIG.
YEAH, RIGHT.
NO, I DID.
YEAH.
YOU GOT ANY MORE POTA--POTATOES? SO, FOUR ACES CONSTRUCTION IS REALLY BOOMING, HUH? WELL, MAYBE SOON YOU'LL BE ABLE TO ADD THAT FIFTH ACE.
IS IT GOOD? THIS IS AS GOOD A POT ROAST AS I'VE EVER HAD.
OH, NOW, YOU'RE JUST SAYING THAT.
NO.
I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS POT ROAST.
THE BIG QUESTION IS IS THERE ANY APPLESAUCE? NO.
YES.
YES! YES, WE HAVE SAUCE! I MAY HAVE TO UPGRADE YOU FROM SISTER-IN-LAW TO FRIEND.
OH, DAN, THAT'S REALLY SWEET.
WELL, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU COMING OVER AND HELPING OUT LIKE THIS.
YOU KNOW, I LIKE YOU LIKE THIS.
WHAT? YOU KNOW--NICE.
THANK YOU.
[HUMMING LEAVE IT TO BEAVER THEME.]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I WORK HERE, REMEMBER? OH, FRENCH TOAST.
I'M IMPRESSED.
I CAN COOK.
IT'S JUST NO FUN COOKING FOR ONE PERSON.
WHY IS EVERYBODY SO SURPRISED THAT I CAN COOK? NOT EVERYBODY.
JUST THE PEOPLE THAT KNOW YOU.
THERE'S FRESH JUICE ON THE TABLE.
FRESH SQUEEZED? NO, BUT IT'S FRESHLY OPENED.
SHOULD I PUT SOME COFFEE IN YOUR THERMOS? NO, I CAN DO IT.
NO.
NO, I'LL DO-- YOU SIT DOWN AND EAT YOUR BREAKFAST.
WHAT? WHAT'S SO FUNNY? I JUST HAD A FLASHBACK.
ROSEANNE WAS LIKE THIS, TOO FOR THE FIRST TWO WEEKS.
THERE WAS SOME POT ROAST LEFT OVER LAST NIGHT, SO I MADE YOU A SANDWICH FOR YOUR LUNCH TODAY, OK? I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING SET UP FOR A HIT HERE.
DAN, DO YOU THINK YOU MIGHT BE LATE AGAIN TONIGHT? ABOUT THE SAME.
WHY? IT'S JUST THAT THE KIDS WERE MISSING YOU.
I DON'T THINK DARLENE TRUSTS ME TO CHECK HER HOMEWORK.
DARLENE DID HER HOMEWORK? OH, YEAH.
WE SAT DOWN HERE AT THE TABLE AND TALKED, AND SHE DID HER WORK.
SHE'S A GREAT KID, DAN.
WHERE ARE YOU GOING? I GOT TO GO.
I'M GONNA BE LATE.
WELL, YOU HAVE TO HAVE BREAKFAST.
I'LL EAT IT IN THE TRUCK.
BOY, IT SMELLS GREAT, THOUGH.
WELL, WAIT, NOW, WAIT, WAIT A SECOND.
THERE.
THANKS.
SEE YOU LATER, HONEY.
OK, DEAR.
BUT YOU CALL IF YOU'LL BE REAL LATE.
WILL DO.
DARLENE, BECKY, D.
J.
, BREAKFAST IS READY! I MADE FRENCH TOAST! JACK! WHAT'S THE HAPS, JACK? OOH, LA, LA, THE TOAST FRANCHAISE.
GOOD MORNING, YOU TWO.
DARLENE, YOU'RE WEARING MAKEUP? NO.
YOUR CHEEKS ARE SO ROSY.
I DON'T THINK THE HEAT WAS WORKING LAST NIGHT.
OH, ACTUALLY I TURNED THE HEAT OFF BEFORE I LEFT LAST NIGHT.
NOT GOOD TO SLEEP WITH THE HOUSE TOO WARM.
DID YOU SLEEP OK? YEAH, I DID.
AUNT JACKIE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS OUTFIT? I LIKE IT.
KIND OF SEXY.
YEAH.
MOM DOESN'T LIKE IT.
WELL, MOM'S NOT HERE.
WELL, ALL RIGHT, JACK! SO, HOW LONG YOU THINK THE BIG R WILL STAY SOUTH? WELL, I THINK SHE'S GONNA BE GONE A COUPLE MORE DAYS AT LEAST.
YES! AWESOME.
MAYBE ON SATURDAY WE CAN DO A MALL MARATHON.
ALL RIGHT.
THAT'D BE FUN.
IS IT ALL RIGHT IF MY FRIEND JODY COMES WITH US? I THINK JODI'S A DIP.
WE CAN JUST GO, THE THREE OF US.
YEAH.
WE'LL MAKE BETTER TIME THAT WAY.
YEAH.
YEAH.
OH, SPEAKING OF TIME, BECKY, COULD YOU RUN GO GET YOUR BROTHER.
SHE'S EATING.
I'LL GET HIM.
OK.
THANKS, DAR.
J-BIRD, YOU'RE AN EXPERIENCED WOMAN, RIGHT? WELL, I'M NOT ALL THAT EXPERIENCED.
BUT YOU HAVE DATED A LOT OF BOYS.
YES, AND A COUPLE OF MEN.
WELL, AT LEAST ONE.
OK, THIS GUY ROY HE'S A MAJOR BABE.
YEAH? AND I KNOW THAT HE LIKES ME, BUT HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I LIKE HIM.
I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING WEAK, LIKE WRITE HIM A NOTE OR HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TELL HIM FOR ME.
MM.
WELL, WHAT ALWAYS WORKED FOR ME WAS A LOOK.
BECAUSE THE GREAT THING ABOUT A LOOK IS YOU CAN NEVER SAY THE WRONG THING.
BRILLIANT! I GOT D.
J.
I WANT TO WATCH TV! OH, NO, D.
J.
NOT NOW.
WE'RE RUNNING KIND OF LATE.
COME ON.
ARE YOU GONNA BE HERE WHEN I GET HOME FROM SCHOOL? ABSOLUTELY.
MAYBE WE CAN PLAY SOME DIRTY SCRABBLE.
YOU CAN COUNT ON IT.
OK, EVERYBODY! TIME FOR SCHOOL! HERE WE GO.
FRONT AND CENTER, CHOP-CHOP! [LEAVE IT TO BEAVER THEME PLAYING.]
I'VE BEEN ON THIS JOB FOR SIX DAYS, AND ALREADY THE COMPANY'S GOT TWO FIRM OFFERS FOR FUTURE WORK.
MAN, THIS IS GREAT.
I MEAN, WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.
I'M EVEN THINKING OF GETTING ANOTHER TRUCK AND HIRING ON A NEW GUY PERMANENT.
WELL, I AM PRETTY PROUD OF YOU.
I'M PROUD OF ME, TOO.
YOU SHOULD BE, DAN.
YOU'VE TAKEN THIS COMPANY FROM NOTHING AND MADE IT INTO REALLY, REALLY A SUCCESS.
THAT'S ME-- A SUCCESS.
WANT TO HAND ME THE DISHRAG? NO, JUST HAND THEM TO ME.
I'LL DRY.
I'VE NEVER WASHED DISHES WITH ANOTHER WOMAN BEFORE.
REALLY? HOW DOES IT FEEL? CHEAP.
SO THIS IS WHAT MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT.
YOU COME HOME FROM WORK.
HAVE DINNER WITH YOUR SPOUSE.
WASH THE DISHES TOGETHER.
SHOOT THE BREEZE.
GO TO SLEEP.
YOU'RE GLAMORIZING IT.
I THINK IT WOULD BE REALLY COMFORTING TO HAVE SOMEBODY TO TALK TO, WHEN YOU COME HOME.
OR AT LEAST HAVE SOMEBODY BE THERE WHEN YOU COME HOME.
IT IS, FOR THE MOST PART.
NOT THAT I'VE EVER HAD ANYBODY.
WHAT ABOUT THAT COP YOU WERE SEEING--BOB? BOB? YOU MEAN DAVE? YEAH.
DAVE.
OH, I'M NOT SEEING HIM ANYMORE.
THERE IS ANOTHER COP, THOUGH--PAUL.
YOU BETTER PACE YOURSELF, JACKIE, OR YOU'RE GONNA RUN OUT OF COPS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO DIP INTO THE FIREMEN'S POOL.
I'VE DATED FIREMEN.
FIREMEN ARE OK.
THEY'RE USUALLY ALWAYS ON TIME.
SO, TELL ME ABOUT THIS PAUL.
WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM? OH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HIS PROBLEM IS.
HE CALLS AND HE COMES OVER, TELLS ME HE'S GONNA CALL THE NEXT DAY, AND THEN HE NEVER CALLS.
AND WHEN HE DOES CALL, I HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE I'M BUSY, BECAUSE I CAN'T HAVE HIM THINKING I'M AVAILABLE EVERY TIME HE CALLS.
SO--SO I'M SITTING AROUND SPENDING A LOT OF TIME LOOKING LIKE I'M BUSY.
THAT'S WHAT MAKES A GOOD COP.
BUT I AM A GOOD COP.
I KNOW, I JUST SAID YOU WERE A-- BUT YOU WERE KIDDING.
'CAUSE I AM A GOOD COP.
I KNOW.
I'M SORRY.
I FORGOT.
I HAVE TO WATCH MYSELF BEFORE I PAY YOU A COMPLIMENT.
YOU'RE NOT USED TO HEARING THAT FROM ME.
SO MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU'RE GONNA COMPLIMENT ME, YOU BETTER WARN ME FIRST.
ANYWAY, THAT'S THE STORY ABOUT PAUL.
HEY, JACK, YOU GOTTA LAY DOWN THE LAW TO THESE GUYS.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULDN'T BE TREATED LIKE THAT.
THAT'S THE WAY GUYS ARE, DAN.
NO, THEY'RE NOT.
NOT ALL OF THEM.
I'M NOT LIKE THAT.
WELL, THEN I GUESS I SHOULD GO OUT AND FIND A PERFECT GUY LIKE YOU.
YEAH, PERFECT.
NO, YOU KNOW, JUST A GOOD JOB, CHARMING, DECENT THREE KIDS AND A WIFE.
THAT'S NEVER STOPPED YOU BEFORE.
SORRY.
CHEAP SHOT.
I SHOULD HAVE GRABBED YOU WHEN I FIRST SAW YOU.
NO CHANCE.
NO? WHAT, ME DATE A FRESHMAN? ARE YOU KIDDING? NO WAY.
I BET THAT YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME WE MET.
I DO.
SO DO I.
NO, YOU DON'T.
OK, I DON'T.
BUT I WAS KIND ENOUGH TO LET MY SISTER HAVE YOU.
"KIND"? IS THAT THE WORD YOU USED? "KIND"? YES.
I STEPPED ASIDE AND I HELD BACK ALL MY BUDDING TEENAGE PASSIONS.
I'D BETTER LET THIS SOAK TILL TOMORROW.
YEAH, I'LL GET THAT TOMORROW.
WHAT TIME ARE YOU LEAVING? EARLY.
TOMORROW'S GOING TO BE A BEAR.
YOU ARE SO FUNNY.
WHAT? I EMBARRASSED YOU.
YOU DIDN'T EMBARRASS ME.
YOU KNOW YOU DIDN'T EMBARRASS ME.
YOU KNOW, USED TO HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU IN A BIG WAY BACK THEN.
YOU DID? YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRETTY CUTE.
YOU WANT A BEER? NOW I AM EMBARRASSING YOU.
NO, YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSING ME.
HELL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE, TOO.
YOU HATED ME.
YEAH, I HATED YOU, BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE.
REALLY? YEAH YOU JUST GOT ON MY NERVES, THAT'S ALL.
I STILL GET ON YOUR NERVES.
YEAH.
SO TELL ME MORE ABOUT PAAAUL.
OHWELL, HE'S-- HE'S BASICALLY A NICE GUY.
BUT HE'S A LIAR.
BUT NOT LIKE A VICIOUS LIAR.
HE TELLS ME HE'S GOT AN '87 CAR, AND IT'S REALLY AN '85.
YOU KNOW, THE LITTLE THINGS LIKE THAT.
YOU KILL ME, JACKIE.
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THE GUYS YOU GO OUT WITH.
I MEAN, YOU'RE SMART, YOU'RE FUN, YOU'RE NICE LOOKING.
YOU MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY? YES, I DO.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
AW [RING.]
HELLO.
HEY, HONEY, HOW ARE YOU DOING? YEAH, HOW'S IT GOIN'? AW, MAN WELL, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE THERE THAT MUCH LONGER.
LISTEN, I'M GOING TO TAKE OFF.
BYE.
HANG ON, ROSEANNE.
JACKIE, YOU LEAVING? YEAH.
TELL HER HI, AND I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
HEY, JACKIE.
WE JUST LOST THE POLY HIGH GAME 27-14.
YOU WERE STANDING ON THE NORTHEAST CORNER OF THE FOOTBALL FIELD WITH THAT RED-HEADED GIRL.
AND SHE HAD ON AN ORANGE SWEATER, AND YOU HAD ON A GRAY HOODED SWEAT SHIRT.
JACKIE DRIVE CAREFUL.
THANK YOU.
HI, BABY.
I MISS YOU.
IT'S MOM! HEY, DAD, MOM'S HOME! I THINK YOUR HAIR IS SO CUTE.
IT'S REALLY WILD, TOO.
WHEN DID YOU GET THAT DONE? OH, WELL, IN THE HOSPITAL, MOM WAS DRIVING DAD NUTS.
SO THE DOCTOR SAID I SHOULD TAKE HER TO THE BEAUTY SHOP, YOU KNOW, AND THEY GOT AHOLD OF ME, TOO.
SCARLET, YOU'RE BACK DOROTHY HAMILL STYLE.
I CLEANED MY CLOSET.
YOU ACTUALLY FOUND YOUR CLOSET? WE'RE CLOSE TO WINNING THE DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP.
MOM, MOM, MOM! WHAT? DID YOU MISS ME? NOT ONE BIT.
DID YOU MISS ME? YEAH.
ME, TOO.
ME, TOO.
WELL, YOU GUYS HAVE LUNCH? CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL [LEAVE IT TO BEAVER THEME PLAYING.]