Desperate Housewives s02e24 Episode Script

This will sweep her right off her feet.
You dog.
You're gonna ask Susan to marry you, aren't you? I didn't say that.
They say money can't buy love.
My gift to you.
You bought us a house? or even happiness.
I have another child, I only just found out about it.
I am not having an affair.
And it certainly can't ease You don't wanna have sex with me? Don't take it personally.
a guilty conscience.
See, That's why I can't give you the keys to the kingdom, kid.
No balls.
Do I know you? Orson Hodge.
Uh, Susan's dentist friend.
The only thing that can bring new piece in your mind You, by any chance, recognize the jacket? That jacket belongs to my other son.
is to finding the truth we have to find them, and get Danielle back .
.
and sending yourself free.
- I am trying to leave, and these morons won't let me Bree, please, don't struggle.
Have they rung up your prescription yet? No, they're getting it right now.
Good.
Add that on.
You're dying your hair honey wheat blond? Oh, it's not for me.
It's for Danielle.
That hair is going back to the color God intended.
You actually think she's gonna sit still as you towel this through her hair? Oh, I will tie her down if necessary.
I'm also thinking of checking her body for piercings While I'm at it.
- You're overreacting.
She's just going through a phase.
That's what girls her age do.
They also get pregnant and become drug addicts.
And that color hair is the gateway.
Would you please, uh, add that to our bill? I'm telling you, Bree, You're gonna have to stop riding 'em so hard.
I am trying to ensure that they turn into responsible adults.
Trust me, Rex, in the end, we will be rewarded.
How can you be so damn sure of yourself all the time? Why is my certainty a flaw? I know what I'm about, I know my values, and I know what's right.
Why shouldn't I stay the course? Am I right, Mr.
Williams? My mother always took a firm hand with me, and I thank her for it.
Exactly, and look how well you turned out.
Look, you're a good mother, but there's a limit.
You have got to relinquish some control, or else you're gonna regret it.
Excuse me.
Do you have the time? Yeah, it's just after 8:00.
- Oh, I was afraid of that.
Afraid of what? Well, I'm only supposed to be restrained until 7:00.
You see, I have a problem with sleepwalking.
They just tie me up so that I don't wander off and hurt myself.
Yeah, well, I'm sure a nurse will be in here soon.
One can only hope.
Of course, if a doctor gets here first and sees that someone forgot to release me, I'm sure they'd get in a lot of trouble.
Lady, I can't let you out of your restraints.
I'd get fired.
Oh.
Well, I certainly would not want that to happen.
What's your name? Alfred.
Oh! Does anybody ever call you "Alfie"? No.
And why should they? So, um, Alfred, I was wondering if you could maybe loosen my restraints.
They're incredibly tight, and I'm sure there are no rules against making me more comfortable.
Do you think I'm stupid? I beg your pardon? Two seconds after I loosen these little restraints, you'll try to scratch my eyes out and make a run for it.
Well, I'm not falling for it, you psycho little bitch.
In fact, I hope they keep you tied up for the next month.
'cause I'd get a real kick out of watching a prissy little whack job like you lying in your own filth.
Know what I mean? Careful with those.
The last of the crystal.
- Okay.
Hey, what's going on? Oh, hi.
Um, we're just moving.
Hey! It's the plumber.
You come over to help Susie move into her new house? New house? Oh, she didn't tell you? I bought a place for my girls.
You let him buy you a house? Uh, well, he's not moving in with us.
After that speech about wanting to go it alone, and after I offered to let you stay with me? To be fair, you just had a spare room, and this is a whole house.
Hey, no offense, if you're not using your back, you're just in the way.
You saw me buying that ring, and you just had to cut me off.
You bought me a ring? Suze, let me handle this.
A man's gotta protect his family.
Uh, Mike, about that ring - Put that box down.
What, you gonna hit me, huh? stop it! Oh, my What are you-- just stop it! Oh, that's enough! Just get off! Get off! Go! Go! Oh, my God.
What? Stop! That's enough.
Enough, enough.
Back up.
And that ring-- that was for me, right? - Not now.
oh, my Ohh! Karl, are you okay? Are you okay? Let me see.
Oh, my God.
Whew.
can you sit up? whew.
Xiao-mei, do you have a second? This is probably silly, but it's been bothering me.
When you said, "Please don't kill him," did you mean Carlos? Ralph dead, not Mr.
Solis.
I know.
It's just, you said "kill," not "dead.
" And I'd have to do be pretty angry to kill someone, so I guess my question is, do I have a reason to be angry at Mr.
Solis? Please, so much laundry.
Xiao-mei how did you rip your panties? I fall down.
Mr.
Young, you'll need to come up to the house to sign some legal documents.
What for? Noah Taylor's will called for an immediate transference of his entire estate to you upon his death.
So everything's mine? That's correct.
Hi, Dad.
so, did you have any luck with your grandfather? Yeah, I talked to Noah.
He's not gonna give us the money.
Damn it, Zach! Sorry? Go back and talk to him.
No, I-I don't think he's gonna change his mind.
Terrific.
Am I gonna see you tomorrow? No, I-I can't come tomorrow.
What about Monday? Uh, next week's bad for me, too.
I'll--I'll call you when I know.
- Zach? Zach! Is there anything I can do? Yeah, get me a new phone with a different number.
And fill in this stupid lake.
Oh.
Are you all right? Uh, yeah.
A little hopped up on pain medicine, but, um, I chipped my tooth on the salad shooter.
Oh.
Oh, you know, you should, um, call my friend Orson.
He's a dentist.
I'm sure he'll see you right away.
- Thanks.
So about that ring you bought-- Is there anything particular you'd like to ask me? Nope, not as long Karl's got you wrapped around his finger.
Okay, that's ridiculous.
Karl doesn't have me wrapped around anything.
You accepted a house from him, and you're nuts if you believe he doesn't have an ulterior motive.
He's Karl.
He's playing me.
But that house is gonna be a great place for my daughter to live.
And when he makes his move, he's gonna realize that I was really playing him.
So about that ring I I just don't want to get deeper into this and suddenly realize your heart's somewhere else.
Mike, my heart is in the exact right place.
Ugh.
I can't have this conversation now my tooth is throbbing.
Of course.
Okay.
You don't even wanna know what my answer would have been? Can we please get out of here? This place is gross.
And, God, I'm starving.
Yeah, I know, but we don't have any money, remember? That's why we should go to my house.
I know the combination to my Mom's safe.
Okay, I've told you a thousand times, It's way too risky.
No.
- Something you should know before we embark on this little adventure-- I can get pretty bitchy when I'm not fed.
Listen, I hope I'm not out of line here, but did you ever spend any time in prison? What, you can tell from my teeth? Jailhouse dentistry-- unmistakable and not pretty.
Yeah, I did a little time in Kansas a few years back.
Were you a prison dentist? Uh, during dental school, we did freebie work on some of the poor guinea pigs behind bars.
No offense.
You know, I had the feeling when I first saw you In the movie theater that we'd met before.
- I don't think so.
Oh, I'm pretty sure.
I think I know you.
Any chance I was one of your guinea pigs? No.
the only prison work I did was back in Virginia.
Diploma says you graduated from Minnesota.
I'm licensed in three states.
Open wide, please.
Don't talk.
I wouldn't want to hurt you.
Carlos, you promised you'd come home today.
Well, I don't care what Tanaka wants! Rattling around this stupid house all by myself is not what I signed up for! No, no, no, don't hang up on me.
I'm not done yelling at you! Mrs.
Solis.
How are you? The best you've ever had.
What's so funny? Me and my friend Justin had this bet.
See who could lose their virginity first this summer at bible camp.
Guess I beat him to the punch.
You were a virgin? So it didn't show? Uh, no.
No, I mean, I guess it was, well, weird when you started naming the American presidents in order.
Ah, I wish you hadn't heard that.
I was just trying to No, no, you were good.
Just, if it comes up in school, Paul Revere was never president.
Oh.
Thanks.
I, uh, had a really awesome time, Mrs.
Solis.
Well, good.
I'm glad, because this can never happen again.
Why? The only reason I did this was because I was angry at Carlos.
Now, thanks to you, I'm not angry anymore.
Well, you should be.
I mean, the guy's never around.
Hell, he's probably off having his own affair right now.
Oh.
I seriously doubt that.
How do you know? Because Carlos doesn't have an adulterous bone in his body.
What we just did he could never do.
For him, sex isn't just sex.
It's a sign of intimacy.
It's the way he shows love.
You know, instead of talking and listening and spending time with me.
What was that for? Thought you needed a kiss.
Well, since this is our last time, I guess we can make the most of it.
So you really trust him, huh? Completely.
Like all good mothers, Gabrielle had purchased several top-of-the-line baby monitors.
She had planned to use them to keep a close watch on her newborn child.
That plan was about to change.
So I'm gonna go shopping and then I'm gonna see my trainer, and I'll definitely be gone for, like, three hours.
Okay.
Well, I gotta go.
Have fun.
not later, Penny.
Mommy's gotta change you now 'cause you stink.
Here, taste this.
Oh, man! Xiao-mei, that is amazing.
You like? Oh, yeah.
Sorry if I'm making a mess.
It's okay.
Mu shun pork supposed to be messy.
I wish Gabrielle could cook like this.
Have you ever tried her enchiladas? One time they make me sick.
Ugh.
He will, and he'll meet you for a romantic motor home rendezvous, and you'll propose, he'll accept, and you'll both live happily ever after.
You really think that's what's gonna happen? It's my deepest hope.
Oh, there he is.
We're in.
POLLY? THAT'S A GOOD NAME.
NO WAY.
PAMELA.
I said I wanted Penny.
Oh, Lynette eight hours of grueling labor.
That's not fair.
Neither are stretch marks, but what are you gonna do? I've only known one Penny in my whole life, And she was a slut.
- Isn't your aunt named Penny? Yeah, that's her.
Our daughter is officially named.
You may go now.
All right, I'll let you win this one, but I get to name the next one.
You promised me we'd stop at four.
Remember? You wanted four kids, I wanted one, and somehow we compromised on four.
Can we please stop now? Lynette, you're hurting me.
I will stop as soon as you promise.
Okay, I promise.
Okay.
Honey, I I didn't mean to upset ya.
It's just We've been so happy.
Sweetie, sometimes when you're at work, and I'm home alone with three young boys, I'm not so happy, and now I'm gonna be alone with four kids.
Each one is a blessing, yes, but I don't think I can take any more blessings.
More blessings could make me lose my mind.
Do you understand? Yeah.
Thank you.
Honey, that really hurt.
Did it hurt for eight hours? No.
Okay, then.
I must have been crazy, agreeing to this.
Honey, you're gonna feel differently once you meet Kayla.
She is sweet, smart little girl, plus it'll help you get past your resentment of Nora.
I don't Well, here goes.
Hey, you! You must be Lynette.
And you must be Nora.
I guess it'd be weird if we hugged.
Probably.
Wh-where's Kayla? Oh, she didn't come.
We got into this huge fight, and I was, like I just couldn't stand to look at her face on that long plane trip, so I dumped her at the neighbors'.
But, hey, come on, you got me.
So, anyway, Kayla is doing great.
She's so pretty.
She's so smart.
She's practically a star on her soccer team.
I have the cutest picture.
You know, we wouldn't need a picture if you had actually brought her like you promised.
Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
You know, but I just haven't had much time to get away on my own since, um, I've been taking care of your kid for the past 11 years, Superdad! Okay, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
I know it's been hard.
You've done an amazing job.
Thank you.
I think, so, too.
Apology accepted.
Anyway, I wasn't sure that I wanted Kayla here if we were gonna talk about business.
Business? I was hoping that we could talk about child support Since I've got, like, You never told me I had a daughter.
My lawyer thinks that I have a very good case.
We can't afford this.
We have four kids.
Tom just lost his job.
That'd bankrupt us.
I'm the bad guy now when he's the one that knocked me up and abandoned his child? How could he abandon her if he didn't even know she existed? That doesn't let him off the hook.
You know, you better do right by me unless, of course, you wanna be known as Mrs.
Deadbeat Dad! Just take it easy.
Are we just gonna keep talking louder? Is that the plan? You wanna just keep raising your voice 'cause that's how you get what you want, right? You make a scene, you throw a tantrum, and everyone gets scared and backs off.
Well, I don't work that way, lady.
I don't care that my husband was so phenomenally stupid and/or drunk to actually have sex with you.
I'm not gonna let it ruin my life.
Am I talking loud enough for that to get through to you? I'm just gonna pay the bill.
Karl, we've been through a lot together.
We will always be connected by Julie, but I know why you bought me that house, And I'm not moving into it.
Susie, come on, I-- Karl, we are not getting back together.
Not ever.
You need to just stop and realize that it's over.
I'm gonna marry Mike.
So I need you to sign these because I have to be divorced first.
Mike popped the question No.
He was going to, but then you clocked him in the mouth with a salad shooter, remember? Actually, I'm going to pop the question to him tomorrow night.
Guess it cuts down on the suspense knowing he bought you a ring.
You would think so, but, no, it doesn't.
This is a lot to ask for a man who still loves you, Susie.
I know.
But if you really do love me, you'll let me go.
Okay, Susie.
I can do that.
Well, you know where to find me if it doesn't work out.
Oh, shut up.
I don't see another way to make this work.
We've gotta dip into the pensions.
Oh, I don't like the sound of that.
Well, it's that or the kids' college fund.
We'll write Nora one big check, and in return, she'll sign away her claim for the back child support.
If we're lucky, she'll take the bird in the hand.
Okay, what are we talking about? How much? Well, we need to show her we're serious.
$30,000? Are you kidding? $30,000? If she takes you to court, we'll lose and end up paying all at once.
We could lose the house.
Oh, we are screwed.
We are just plain screwed.
- Tom! I am trying very hard to be strong right now, and you melting down is not helping me.
I'm sorry.
I know we're using up a huge chunk of our savings, but if it keeps that crazy woman out of our life, it is the best money we have ever spent.
We will be okay.
Hey there.
I was surprised to hear you wanted a session.
Well, there's nothing like being tied to a bed to change a girl's mind.
What do you wanna talk about? Anything at all.
As you said, I I have a lot of issues.
Well, I assumed as much when you told the ridiculous story about your daughter running off with a murderer.
Saw right through that, did ya? Well, I'm a trained professional, Bree.
The human mind is my playground.
Well, I'm glad that you're having fun.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to be flip.
But you came here because you were troubled, and then you refuse any help we give you.
Things were falling apart at home, and I just I just needed a place to rest, that's all.
I think there's more to it than that.
Do you? I think it has to do with your kids.
You don't want to talk about them.
Why is that? Probably because I'm ashamed.
Ashamed? My children were my life.
They were the reason that I got up in the morning, So to have failed them as a parent You think you failed them as a parent? Well, my son is a sociopath, and my daughter hates me enough to have run away from home.
I'm certainly not gonna get "Mother of the Year" anytime soon.
- If your kids were here right now, what would you tell them? - I would beg my son Andrew for forgiveness for having given up on him, and I would tell my daughter not to worry, that I have a plan to protect her.
And just what is that plan? I've got everything ready to go-- flowers, candles, Elvis Costello CD all cued up.
But who has the ring? - He does.
So, wait, you're gonna get down on one knee, pop the question, and while you're down there, dig in his pocket? Then I'm gonna have to find a way to force it on my finger.
Oh, Xiao-mei, where'd you learn to kiss like that? Sorry, that's Penny's baby monitor.
It's always picking up weird frequencies.
- No, no, no! Don't turn it off.
Ohh! move over.
My knees hit the dashboard.
I move seat back.
Better? Oh, yeah.
Are you done with my husband? Good.
I have a little project for you.
Okay, Gaby, can we please talk about this?! You're the one that gave me permission, remember? You said, "Go have sex with somebody"! To have meaningless sex, Carlos, not to sleep with the woman who's carrying our child! What is the matter?! Look, we're even! You had an affair, and I had an affair! I had a reason to.
You were never here! I've been here, Carlos.
I have tried so hard to not be selfish and to put your needs above mine.
I mean, for God sakes, look at me! I have agreed to be a mother for you! Look, Gaby, you have every right to be mad at me.
So I'm gonna go and check into a hotel room and let you cool down, but we are going to work this out.
Forget the hotel, Carlos.
Get a lease.
I can go now, too? No, you can start dinner.
What?! You're not going anywhere, not as long as you have my baby in your belly.
I don't know what that meant, but I didn't like the tone.
So just remember, am the boss of you, or else I'm gonna make this the worst nine months of your life.
Hi.
- Hi.
Did you get the check? Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about that.
Do you have a minute? Tom?! I'm not the type of person that can keep things bottled up inside.
Really? - So I'm just gonna have to get this off my chest.
You made me feel really bad about myself yesterday at the restaurant.
My sincerest apologies.
You treated me like some sort of mercenary, like the only reason I came here was to extort money from you.
Well, to be honest, first, we bought you pie, then you tried to extort money from us.
See? There it is again, Lynette--that mean streak.
All I want is what's best for my child, for Tom's child.
As the mother of 80% of Tom's children, I don't think it's in their best interest for you to drive us into bankruptcy.
- Of course it isn't.
Here.
I signed the waiver that the lawyer sent over with the check.
And I'm not even asking for any back child support.
That's--that's--that's great.
Thank you.
See, Lynette? See? It's not all about money.
It's not even a little bit about money.
It's about family.
'cause we're all a big family now.
Sort of.
Which is why I took all the money that you gave me, and I put it all down on the sweetest little over on Arden Drive.
Ar-Arden Drive over-- over by the mall? Like, five minutes from here Arden Drive? It's perfect.
I could drop Kayla off here anytime so she can play with her new siblings.
She can spend time with her Dad.
Well, to be clear, how are you going to live? How are you going to pay the mortgage? You don't have a job here.
- What is your problem with me, lady?! I don't understand! You don't know me.
You don't know what I can do.
And yet you just always, just just--just Always on the attack.
It's ugly, and you should work on that.
Here's what I think.
I think that we should all work on this, because I don't want every Christmas to turn ugly just because you and I don't get along.
Yeah, that would be a shame.
See, I told you she wasn't home.
Her car's not even here.
And you said the safe was upstairs? Damn it, my mother must have changed the combination.
Okay.
Wait here.
I'll be right back.
You did it.
You killed Melanie.
You put your jacket on her body.
I saw it, Matthew.
The police showed me the pictures.
Now you weren't there.
You don't know what happened.
Oh, God.
Caleb hurt her, and Melanie threatened to bring us all down because of that.
So your solution was to make your brother think he murdered a girl and to make me think it? What other choice did I have? I knew that you wouldn't had Caleb over to the police.
I knew that you would protect him.
I would have protected you.
Well, I really couldn't count on that.
Matthew you don't love me as much as you love Caleb.
You never have.
Perhaps.
But it's because he's needed me more.
You are always going to find love in the world.
Don't you understand? He was only ever going to get it from me.
You know, I know you believe that.
That's why I've tried so hard to forgive you.
And who knows? Maybe one day I will.
- What is your emergency? I need the police.
See, I told you she had cash.
Danielle, I don't know what you're planning, but I need to talk to you right now.
Give it up, Mom.
We're leaving.
I'm calling the police.
Do you remember that girl Melanie Foster? Matthew is the one who killed her.
I know you don't want us to be together, but that's the lamest thing I've ever heard.
His mother told me what happened.
It's true.
Let's go, Danielle.
Mom, please move.
No.
I gave up on your brother, and I'm not gonna make that mistake with you.
We don't have time for this.
Where did you get that? What are you doing?! Move away! Danielle I want you to get out of the house now.
He's a killer.
- Shut up! Don't point that at my mother! Danielle! I'm serious.
Go.
What's wrong with you?! I'm gonna shoot you! Matthew, stop it! If that's what it takes to get my daughter Stop it! - To see who you really are Stop pointing that at my mother! Then fine.
What are you doing?! Do it.
Stop! It's okay, baby.
Hey, it's just me again.
Um When you got the invitation, I thought that you gave me the thumbs up, but I guess if that was actually some other type of finger gesture, uh well, I apologize for leaving you all these messages and wasting your time.
This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life.
I met them the day they moved in.
And I saw what they brought with them beautiful dreams for the future.
And quiet hopes for a better life not just for themselves, but for their children, too.
If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No.
From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled.
The trip is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon.
Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn't see coming, but that's really the point don't ya think? Orson.
- Oh, hey.
I wanted to come by and see how you were doing after your great escape, and, uh, these are for you.
How sweet and unexpected.
Do you wanna come in? I'd love to.