Psych s03e03 Episode Script

Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn! Shawn, this'll never work.
I've done the math.
The ramp's too short! You'll have to let me duck.
Shawn! Shawn! Shawn, stop! Abort! Abort! Abort! Oh, crap! What in the hell do you think you're doing, Shawn? Dad, you ruined everything! Of all the boneheaded stunts you've pulled in your life, this is without a doubt, the dumbest! Shawn, what in the name of everything that's holy would possess you to do something so incredibly stupid? All the kids from my class wanted to see me do it.
See? No.
See what, Shawn? Come here.
Listen to me.
You think your fans came out here to see you make this jump? Yeah.
They came out here, to see you crack your head open.
Which basically makes you no different than the kid in class who can shoot milk out of his eye.
Do you think I could be as popular as him? I can't believe you did this, Shawn.
Apparently, you're unaware that some churros have more nutrients than carrots.
have my RDA of riboflavin.
No, I mean, accepting tickets to some ridiculous tractor pull as payment for a case.
Gus, excuse us, when your clients are carnie folk, it's this or twenty rides on a rusty Tilt-A-Whirl.
And I remember the last time you got on one of those.
You know I had early onset vertigo.
The important thing is that Wolfboy and his gold teeth have been reunited.
Ow! Ow! Don't play, Shawn.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Please give a huge Santa Barbara welcome to our opening act.
Put your hands together for the heart-stopping, gravity-mystifying, death-defying, Dutch the Clutch Jenkins! I can't believe it, dude.
It's Dutch the Clutch.
What? You know that guy? Dude, you don't remember Dutch the Clutch? He was on That's Incredible, once when we were kids.
And he jumped Springfield Gorge.
That was Homer Simpson.
Dutch will attempt to launch himself through the ring of fire, and land safely on the other side.
But, for the first time ever, Dutch will attempt this stunt without the benefit of his sight! That guy is crazy.
Crazy awesome.
Here we go, folks! Hold on to your seats! We need a medic! Everyone, please remain calm! He's okay! Everyone, show your appreciation for a true American hero, Dutch the Clutch Jenkins! That was insane.
No, that was attempted murder.
I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth I know, you know They just don't have any proof Embrace the deception Learn how to bend Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end Dutch! Dutch the Clutch.
You honestly don't remember him? No, why is this such a big deal for you? Gus, guys like me and him are cut from the same cloth, okay? We cast aside the rules of society.
We laugh in the face of danger.
We ignore the tiny voice in our head that tells us not to do stuff.
The tiny voice in my head says, "There's a reason I'm the only black person here.
" I'm telling you, man, someone tried to kill him.
Take it from a fellow motorcycle guy.
Please, what was the last repair you did to your bike? Can you get that? Does adding a sticker count? Regardless, fuel lines do not randomly spring leaks.
There's a killer out there, and he or she failed.
So they're bound to try again.
How the hell are we supposed to protect someone who straps himself to a rocket-powered bike and sails through a wall of fire? I'm working on it.
Can I help you? Yes.
I'm Shawn Spencer, police psychic, amateur daredevil, denture wearer and strawberry crepe enthusiast.
You're not on the list.
List? Dude, they're about to start racing ocelots in half an hour.
There's no way you have a velvet rope here.
Let's go, Shawn.
No, no, no.
I'm here to tell you that something was off with Dutch's last stunt.
He is in danger and I sense foul play.
It's both a daredevil and a psychic thing.
You'll just have to trust me.
Sir, I want you to turn around and get the hell out of Hey! Give me a sec with these guys, yeah? I'm Lewis.
Dutch is my dad.
Ah! So, uh, what the hell do you mean by foul play? We're private investigators.
He's a psychic.
He left out the daredevil part.
And that's why he knows the stunt was tampered with.
A psychic, huh? I don't know about that sort of thing, but, uh, you might be on to something.
My dad's last two stunts didn't go off right, either.
And I have been noticing some weird things lately.
Well, you're lucky.
We're in the business of weird.
What would you need for me to hire you? A retainer check for $2,000.
Dutch's autograph.
Man, I will punch you in the knee.
Go ahead.
I dare Look, guys, money's a little tight right now.
Last month we shared the bill with Yippy, the hiccupping terrier.
He's still hiccupping? Dude, you know that, but you don't know who Dutch the Clutch is? He's been hiccupping for nine years, Shawn.
It's a canine record.
Hey! Guys, please.
Look, no offense, but my dad's not gonna let some psychic guy hang around him.
His circle's airtight.
But we'll work something out.
Come on.
There's an after party.
Let's go.
Okay.
Thanks.
You ready? Interrogation Room A.
Great.
So? So, what? Your date, Friday night? Details.
What happened? Well, we ordered the crab cakes.
Mmm.
And she went to the bathroom and didn't come back.
So either it went badly or she's still in the bathroom.
Oh, Carlton, I'm sorry.
Hmm.
You told the dead clown story, didn't you? What? That is a funny story.
Clowns are funny.
Stories about them being shot to death, not so much.
Please tell me you didn't draw a diagram of the bullet holes? Well, there were crayons on the table.
What was I supposed to do? You took her to a restaurant that had crayons on the table? Thank you for your concern.
I am fine.
Interrogation Room A, right? Yes.
What do I sound like? An agent in the valley? This is Dutch the Clutch! What are you, deaf? He doesn't get out of bed for less than two grand! 3500.
That's it.
Wow.
You know, The Allman Brothers generally tend to inhibit my psychic powers.
So, why don't you just tell me, is there anyone that'd like to see your dad bite the bullet? Just about everybody that comes to the show.
Anyone in here, in particular, have a grudge with him? Against my dad? Yeah.
No way.
Everybody here loves him.
I can't understand why anyone would wanna hurt him.
In fact, I've been trying to get him to retire altogether.
Why doesn't he listen? Give up the spotlight? Give up the applause? The love? Never.
Besides, well Oh, no.
my dad thinks he's unkillable.
But he's wrong.
He's flesh and blood.
My flesh and blood.
That's why I'm counting on you boys.
Okay, um, let me introduce you to my dad.
Do we have our cover stories, yet? Oh, don't worry.
I take care of all the finances and hirings.
Pop, I found us the two new Die Hards you asked for.
Damn.
Already? Actually, I'm Die Hard.
He's Die Harder.
We have two other guys in our crew but they aren't nearly as good as us.
Well, how in the hell did you do that so quick, especially after what happened to that last bunch? Excuse me.
What happened to the last bunch? Well, we can't talk about it for legal reasons.
All I know is our attorney said that it ain't decapitation if the head don't come off all the way.
I joke.
I joke.
That's morbid! Hi, I'm Viki.
Dutch's wife.
Now, you boys have experience, right? It's up to you to keep my man safe.
That's right.
Hey, what's the most dangerous thing you boys done? We eat at Taco John's with some frequency.
So that puts us right there on the edge.
Oh, we got ourselves a couple of comedians.
I like that! Okay, you boys got the job! Goddamn! Oh.
Did you just break your wrist? Yeah, well, it's okay.
Nothing busted through the skin.
Dad, maybe you should take a break.
I mean, you almost got killed today.
Oh, come on, son.
You just worry about your own safety.
I'll be fine.
Well, maybe Lewis is right.
And we can finally take that vacation to Dollywood.
Uh, not to overstep, but I think you may still have a concussion from earlier.
Concussion? Hell, I've had a concussion since 1982.
True story.
Anybody else's beer taste like metal? Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! Who the hell put that on there? Okay.
Did we miss something? Hell.
That's El Diablo.
What is an El Diablo? He's nobody.
Just some wannabe daredevil.
No one knows who he is 'cause he always wears a mask.
Right there.
See that, right there? That's why we can't take no damn vacation.
That son of a bitch is right on my heels.
Relax, Dad.
He's amateur hour compared to you.
Dutch! Forget about El Diablo.
I got you that canyon jump in September! Rock on, Manny! Oh.
Oh.
I told you, Clutch.
Explosions.
Crashes.
That's what people pay to see.
You keep that up, I'm gonna get you on TV.
And it won't be that infomercial for the home stomach pump.
This is gonna be one of those rain delay filler shows.
Dad, please.
It's too soon to be adding new stunts.
Oh, piss! Ain't nobody telling me I can't do anything no more! I think that was the worst English I've ever heard.
All right! $200 and I'm gonna take a fall! Fifty? Glen Campbell rocks! Oh, damn! I spilled my beer.
It might be harder to keep this guy alive than I thought.
You need me, Chief? Why is someone lodging a complaint against my head detective? Yeah, that's the third one this month.
He's just going through a rough patch right now.
He'll be fine.
I think he's having some serious dating problems.
Oh.
You know, when I used to work vice, my partner was an alcoholic.
And one night I went over to his house, handcuffed him to a radiator and made him dry out.
When he finally sobered up, I gave him a choice.
Go into department rehab program or chew your hand off for freedom.
He chose the program.
Is that a real story? Maybe it is.
Maybe I saw it on an old Police Woman rerun.
The point is, O'Hara, sometimes it's up to the cop's partner to keep their head above water, huh? To do what's necessary to make sure that they stay on course.
Get me? Yes, Chief.
This is for you.
What's wrong? The Chief just gave me some really weird advice.
Oh, what does she want? Well, I can't be sure, but I think she wants me to find Lassiter a girlfriend.
Good luck with that.
That makes sense, I guess.
Thanks, Lewis.
So Dutch doesn't have a will because, apparently, invincible people do not need them.
Hmm.
What is all this? Those are forms that must be filled out, so that we can be Die Hards.
Just sign them.
These release the employer from any liability in case the stunt tester is torn to shreds? Stunt tester? Is that what we're doing? Are you crazy? Trust me and be cool.
Wait.
This one is in case we're accidentally chewed to death by a malfunctioning robot? Oh, hell, no! Relax.
We'll be fine.
Deboned? Killed and rekilled? How does that even work? Gus, don't be an old sponge with hair hanging off of it.
I'm all over this case.
Mimed to death? That's clearly a typo.
They meant "maimed.
" What, are we gonna be killed by Marcel Marceau? Marcel Marceau is dead.
See? There's nothing to worry about.
We are solving this case, Shawn, before we have to do any of this stuff.
Fair.
I've been checking out this El Diablo guy.
He always rolls into town the day after Dutch.
And they've been competing for the same gigs for almost a year.
Including that canyon jump that Dutch just got.
All right.
Motive.
Wipe out Dutch and the field is clear.
And El Diablo is a daredevil so he would know how to sabotage the stunts to make it look like an accident.
I'll buy that.
And someone at the party told me that El Diablo performed at the fair the night before Dutch, when Dutch's team was, no doubt, prepping for their stunt.
You're saying they had access to Dutch's equipment? I'm sold.
He's our guy.
So where is he? Where do we find this El Diablo? How do you feel about checking out some old, antique motorcycles? They call this a motorcycle show? There's like, four motorcycles here.
They don't even have the bike from Blue Thunder.
That was a helicopter.
You're right.
I was thinking of Blue Lagoon.
There was no bike in Blue Lagoon.
How did they get off the island, Gus? Oh, man.
All right, thanks a lot.
Yo.
El Diablo! What's up, man? Shawn Spencer, this is my partner, Squirts Macintosh.
We just have a couple, sort of, serious questions for you.
Oh, no, no, no.
You don't have to get on the bike! Dude, he's running! International sign of guilt.
Let's go! Quick! Get in the sidecar.
Are you out of your damn mind? I'm not getting in that thing.
You get in there.
Gus, you have absolutely no idea how to drive a motorcycle.
Get in the sidecar.
Dude, it's like High Road to China! What are you doing? We're going.
We're going! Lewis? You're El Diablo? Lewis? That is the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
Shut up, Shawn.
You're guilty of attempted patricide.
And you tried to kill your own dad.
I never tried to kill anyone.
You really think I'd hire detectives if I wanted to bump off my own dad? What kind of psychic are you? The kind that loves bees.
And historical novels.
The kind that knows a lie when he hears one.
And knows that only the guilty make a run for it.
The only thing I am guilty of is not telling my dad that I do this, too.
And I ran because I don't want you two exposing my secret.
Why hide it? My dad forbid me from being a daredevil because he didn't want me to get hurt.
Do you know what it's like to have your father tell you not to follow in his footsteps? I wish.
I did this because I care about my dad.
As soon as El Diablo starts making some noise and he knows I'm legit, then I'll tell him.
Maybe then he'll let me take over the family business and finally retire.
Hopefully before he gets really hurt.
Whoa! Psychic vision.
Incoming! I see colors.
On your hands.
On your bike.
On your hands.
My daughter My sister My Father the Hero.
Yeah, I repainted my bike recently.
I had paint on my hands.
Repainted, why? Because you stole it from your dad? I borrowed it.
Dad was supposed to use this in the last jump but Manny got us a sponsor and a new bike.
Tech specs said the new bike was way safer.
Left this one for me.
Who the hell is Manny? The agent.
Oh.
Look, you guys aren't gonna tell him who I am, right? Mmm.
It's a sensitive subject.
He won't understand it right away.
I just want him to come to grips with This is what I am.
I didn't choose it.
Yeah.
I had a similar experience with my dad when I told him I wanted to take Gus, here, to the prom.
Come on! You and me at the prom? No? Misfire? Okay.
So, the exploding motorcycle was provided at the last minute by Dutch's agent, Manny, who probably slapped those sponsor decals on himself.
I'd say that warrants investigation.
It doesn't make sense.
Why would an agent risk his client's life? Isn't that his money train? Remember the after party? I told you, Clutch.
Explosions.
Crashes.
That's what people pay to see.
Manny may not be trying to kill Dutch.
But he's making his stunts more dangerous to add a little pizzazz to Dutch's act.
Which in turn gets Dutch more gigs! Which in turn is only increasing Manny's 10%.
Which in turn makes me wonder why you would use the word "pizzazz.
" What are you doing? I'll give you an A plus for the skulking but a C minus for the leering.
I have to find Lassiter a date for the weekend.
I've narrowed it down to three prospective candidates.
Jules, why would you possibly want to jump into that snake pit? Vick ordered me to.
All right.
Would you like me to give your candidates the psychic once-over? If you have to.
I'm sensing it'll be easier to get a stranger to go out with him than someone he works with.
Or knows him.
Or has ever had a conversation with him.
Or he hasn't shot.
One more question.
Are we locked into the same species? Enough, already.
What're you guys doing here? We need a background check on Manny Robertson.
Oh, I know that name.
Yeah, we've had him in here a few times on some "get rich quick" scams.
Why him? I'm getting a very strong vibe off him on this awesome daredevils case we're working.
Daredevils, really? They're still around? Don't Don't do that.
Don't hate on the devils.
I just I never got it, personally.
I mean, "Ooh, I can jump over a flaming trash can.
" I mean, why do people care? Allow me.
What is he doing? Wait for it.
Wait for it! What's up! Gus, Gus, Gus! Ow! I'm okay, I'm okay.
I'm okay.
Need any more proof? No.
I got it.
I'm I'm fine.
We need to find Manny as soon as possible.
We should have a little breathing room, actually.
If Manny's our mad saboteur, he won't strike until he has an audience.
During the actual stunt.
Not during rehearsal.
Exactly.
The next stunt's tomorrow.
A jump, at the closing night of the fair.
Dutch should be safe till then.
Clutch! Or not! Holy Are you all right? Huh? Are you all right? Should we call the cops or the ambulance? What the hell for? I've done that stunt a thousand times.
That was just a rehearsal.
Now, it's your turn.
Come on! I've got you set up over at the stadium.
You know, Dutch, seeing as how Gus and I are just getting started, we've a couple questions about representation.
Namely, uh, your agent, Manny.
First, we rehearse.
Then I gotta strip Viki down and oil her joints.
Wow! Not too shy about your wife, are you? I'm talking about my bikes.
I name them all after my wife.
We'll just talk to Manny himself.
Whereabouts is he? I'll call him later, after I give Viki a lube job and pull her nuts.
Hey, guys! Come on! We gotta get ready for that catapult stunt! You boys ready to work? Strip and put these on.
All right, this one's easy.
All you gotta do is stand here.
How the hell are we supposed to help Dutch when we're stuck doing this stuff? As long as we're making sure the stunts are safe, he can't get killed.
I'll make it safe from the outside.
You need to man up! I'd put these masks on, if I was you.
What for? What is this? An underwater stunt or something? Wait, is that gasoline? You must be out of your damn mind! Well, we had to see how fire retardant these suits were.
You didn't know that before you tried to set us on fire? That's what you're getting paid for! Dutch.
Dutch! Great news, baby.
Apparently, some crazy fan ran El Diablo off the road at the classic bike show and he injured his shoulder.
He can't do the clock tower death drop stunt.
And I got it for you.
Rock on, Manny.
Oh! All right.
We're gonna have to rig these two up and drop them off the building first.
No, no.
No time to rehearse.
Thank you, Lord.
Time of the event was already advertised.
If we want it, we gotta do it now.
You up for it, Dutch? What, are you kidding? Hell, one time I bungee jumped off a building twice the size of that tower.
And even though the bungee cord snapped on the way down, I still made it to the George Thorogood concert that night.
True story.
Yeehaw! Yes, sir! We're gonna make some money, Dutch! No rehearsal.
That's convenient.
Manny's rushing Dutch into another stunt unprepared.
Another stunt.
Another chance for sabotage.
What is going on? Apparently, Dutch is going to jump from the building, spread his arms, and glide down to that large pillow, all live on camera for some daredevil website.
Yeah, I think we're good.
Red? You see that? Yes.
And now I'm in the mood for some coffee.
What are you talking about? Coffee, Shawn.
What are you looking at? The same thing you're looking at.
It's a Dunkin' Donuts patch, Gus.
And they have excellent coffee.
They have one on my extended route.
You know what, dude? You astound me.
And now I must have a blueberry crumb.
It's totally triggered my donut launch sequence.
Will you focus, Shawn? I can't! No.
Don't jump! Jeez! What the hell is wrong with you? Everything's wrecked now.
VIKl: Are you all right, baby? Gus, little help! Grab my hand! Grab my hand! Idiot! You could've killed my husband, you idiot.
Gotcha! Idiot? How about mind-blowing genius? Dutch, please.
Spread your arms the way you would in the middle of the stunt.
I don't take orders from nimrods like you! Dutch, do it.
Do it! If you would've jumped, you would've died.
What the hell kind of stunt was that you tried to pull out there? Nobody steals my spotlight! Nobody! You're just damn lucky Manny pulled me off that roof before I had a chance to throw you off it.
Dutch, I'm gonna level with you.
We're not really professional stuntmen.
No.
Now, that'd explain all the screaming.
So, what the hell's going on? Well, we're um, uh Animal activists! Right.
And that is the truth.
We are here to stop you from abusing any more large, impressive, exotic game in your act.
Shame on you, Dutch the Clutch.
I ain't got no animals in my act.
Huh! Well, that settles that.
Yeah.
Gus and I will be going.
Sit down! Now, the next thing that comes out of your mouth better be the truth.
Otherwise, we're gonna start rehearsing that "bury you alive" stunt.
We're detectives.
He's a psychic.
We were hired by your son.
Look, Dad, I can explain.
I am a Christian man! What the hell you trying to do getting me all mixed up in that voodoo dark force stuff? He We think someone is trying to sabotage your stunts.
Let's just hear them out.
Have you guys found anything? Yes, we think that it's your We're not sure who it is yet, exactly.
That's because nobody's trying to kill me.
News flash! Almost dying is par for the course for my line of work.
Dutch, someone tampered with that gliding suit.
The spirits are sure of it.
That gliding suit tore because I bought it during the gliding suit boom in 1977.
And that fall wouldn't have killed me! Damn, one time I jumped out of a blimp five hundred feet in the sky.
Had a heart attack on the way down.
Two hours later I was eating a BLT at Red Robin.
True story! Dutch, please listen to us.
No! You listen to me, 'cause I'm only gonna say it one time.
You're fired! Red, help these boys out.
Wait a second.
Whoa, Red! Whoa! Huh.
So, we're not gonna shoot Gus out of a cannon later? No? Okay.
Okay.
There's something I love about these low-end stakeouts.
All we gotta do is snap some pictures of the guy with some stolen merchandise.
Why didn't you wear the burgundy turtleneck? Because it didn't occur to me to change for a stakeout.
Why? No reason.
I just I really like you in that burgundy turtleneck and with short hair.
And you know what else? A little cologne.
Wouldn't kill you.
All right, you think I don't know what's going on here? Look, I've noticed you kind of checking me out at the squad and asking about my dating habits.
It's not a big deal.
It's just Listen.
It is perfectly normal for a junior officer to develop feelings for her superior, someone she feels is a mentor and Oh, no! No, no.
Oh, my God, no.
O'Hara, it's okay.
No! No, Vick ordered me to find you a girlfriend.
What? Yeah! You know, we've noticed that you've been on edge lately.
And, uh, thought it might help.
And I have this friend you can meet later who likes cops I don't believe this.
That's a total invasion of my privacy, not to mention unprofessional.
And so what? I sleep alone.
So what if I saw a frozen dinner in half before I microwave it every night? So what if I seriously considered planting evidence on my wife's new boyfriend? I mean, that's It's just Oh, God.
I may need your help.
That's all I wanna do.
Oh, damn, I'm not getting a signal.
All right, I'm gonna go find a hot spot and then when I get back, I'll tell you all about my friend.
Why didn't you tell them about Manny? Because it's not him.
When Manny was adjusting Dutch's suit before the stunt he whispered something in his ear.
I, of course, read his lips.
He said he didn't want him wearing that gliding suit.
He wanted him to wear the black one because it was far more slimming.
And then he said, "Purple camel lawn mower, man.
" How the hell are we supposed to help Dutch now that we've been banished? Mmm.
I'm gonna go over there and start working on it.
You're wasting energy, Shawn.
You see solar panels up in there? Come on, now, you guys gotta hurry.
The next stunt is coming up fast.
And Dad will kill me if he finds out I let you back in here.
Don't worry, Lewis.
We'll be as nonexistent as an Aldo Nova fan.
So what are we looking for? Red.
When he gave us the heave-ho, I saw an old tattoo on his arm.
The first four letters spelt "Viki" but So? So he was probably seeing her before she married Dutch.
Right? She leaves him, he gets a different tattoo artist to add the N-G-S to conceal it from his boss.
Maybe Red's trying to eliminate the competition.
Bingo.
Whoa, whoa.
Let me go first.
I'm more stealthy.
In your dreams.
I'm as graceful as a gazelle, Shawn.
You are not.
A jackal.
Dude, a jackal is not graceful.
It's like a rabid, vicious badger.
Shh! Now what is that? This is it.
I'll bet you that's a bomb and he's gonna put it on one of the bikes.
Huh.
Come on, Red.
Let's get this over with.
What the heck? Dude, why would someone take gemcitabine, or capecitabine? Wow.
You were nowhere close on the pronunciation.
What are they for? Those two together, you probably got pancreatic cancer.
Prognosis? Not good.
It's pretty terminal.
He's dying? So, Red's not the bad guy.
He wouldn't smuggle in drugs to help Dutch and then turn around and kill him.
This case is bizarre.
Why kill someone if he's already dying? That begs the question, who knows he's dying? If we don't come up with something soon, he's a goner.
We need to know who stands to gain from Dutch's death.
And for that we need his will.
But Lewis said there was no will.
He doesn't know his dad's dying, Gus.
If you were dying of cancer, wouldn't you have a will? Are you kidding? I've had my estate planner on speed dial ever since we started this stupid business.
Do you know how many times I've had a gun shoved in my face because of you? Three? Wrong answer.
We're never gonna find it.
Wait a minute.
There's something weird with this tile.
Looks fine to me.
No, no, no.
The pattern's off, just a little bit.
Like someone pried one up and put it down wrong.
Ow! Bingo.
Is that his will? It's just as good.
A life insurance policy.
That doesn't make any sense.
Tell me about it.
Dude, seriously, tell me about it.
I have no idea what this means.
You never could understand legalese.
Oh, really? Remind me who it was that set up our Psych 401? Oh, you mean our Because India doesn't have 401 s.
It's a growth economy, Gus.
We've already made like five hundred rupees.
That's thirteen dollars.
Man, just tell me what I need to know.
Shh! Do I rush you when you're doing your whole, "Ooh, I'm sensing this, I'm sensing that"? Always, and you usually jab me in the ribs with your elbow.
Feels like a chocolate harpoon.
Are you finished? Maybe.
On first read it says if Dutch dies of natural causes, there's barely a payout.
That doesn't make any sense for someone who's always putting himself at risk.
But, Dutch has a unique indemnity policy.
If he dies during one of his stunts, his beneficiaries receive Who are the beneficiaries? His wife and his son.
Gus.
I know who our killer is.
And it is a packed house here for tonight's main event! The legendary Dutch the Clutch Jenkins in his most dangerous stunt ever.
We are moments away from show time, ladies and gentlemen! What the hell are you doing here? I thought I fired your ass.
I just came to apologize to you, Dutch.
For what? I was wrong about you.
All this time I thought you were the kid who shot milk out of his eye.
You know? Willing to do just about anything for attention, regardless of how it affects the people around you.
But that's not the case, is it? Son, I'm getting tired of the sound of your gums flapping.
You're all about family.
Aren't you, Dutch? You love them more than life.
That's why you've been trying to kill yourself.
I sense a dark cloud over you.
You're terminally ill.
I'm sorry, man.
It must be so scary knowing that you're gonna die, especially when you're all that your family has.
And that's why you took out that special insurance policy, the one that only you know about.
Now all you gotta do is make sure that you die in the middle of a stunt and your family gets a windfall.
Right? It should have been a simple matter of you sabotaging your own stunts.
But, Dutch, you're a victim of your own talent.
You actually are a little unkillable.
Even with all your faulty mechanics, your instincts kicked in and prevented you from failing.
It's almost show time, folks.
Dutch the Clutch Jenkins is here to perform a gravity-defying spectacle.
Look, I know this is your last stunt for a while, and that's my fault.
If this disease gets you before your next show, your family gets nothing.
So, I'm sure whatever your method is tonight, it's foolproof.
What're you gonna do now? Nothing.
I'm not gonna try and stop you.
And I will not say anything if you go through with it.
You have my word.
Just let me leave you with this, Dutch.
It doesn't take a psychic to see how much people love you.
Your son came to me, and hired a psychic against his better judgment to keep you alive.
And you don't know this yet, but all he wants in the world is to be more like you.
You go to your son or your wife or anyone on your crew for that matter, and you ask them which they'd rather have.
Six more months with you or a million dollars.
You know damn well what they'll answer and they won't have to think about it for a second.
Is that right? True story.
You're wrong.
I was that kid in class who shot milk out of his eyes.
And I was damn good.
And here he is now! Dutch the Clutch Jenkins! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! Dutch! And he's off! Speeding down the ramp.
He's past the point of no return! It's all or nothing! He did it! He did it! A perfect landing.
Give it up as Dutch is doing a victory lap around the arena! What a night! You've witnessed history here tonight, folks! Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it! No, really? You grew up your whole life in Santa Barbara? Yeah, I didn't like it much Oh, no.
Who did, right? I just cannot believe that! That's amazing.
That's fascinating.
What are you doing? Oh, I'm just talking to your friend Blair, here.
She's great.
We have so much in common.
She's not my friend! What do you mean? You didn't send her down here to meet me? No! I don't invite friends to dangerous stakeouts.
But I know her.
She's a professional.
Please tell me you're a hitman.
Oh, Carlton! So, are we gonna do this or not? I gotta go.
So, I guess we're not on for Saturday, huh? In between the lines there's a lot of obscurity I'm not inclined to resign to maturity If it's all right then you're all wrong But why bounce around to the same damn song? You'd rather run when you can't crawl I know, you know That I'm not telling the truth I know, you know They just don't have any proof Embrace the deception Learn how to bend Your worst inhibitions tend to psych you out in the end I know, you know I know, you know