House, M.D. s03e05 Episode Script
HOU-305 - Fools for Love
Here you go.
That fried crap will kill you.
See? Good night.
Time to make the donuts.
Hands in the air! Right now! Get them up! Move out here.
Get up! Move out here! Let's go! Move it.
Put them up! Purses and wallets on the counter, right now.
Yo! Your watches, your jewelry! Take it all off! Yeah, all right.
Keep the girl.
Keep the girl.
Yeah.
We're moving to the back room.
Let's go! Go! Let's go! Move it! Go on! Not you.
Hey! Hey, wait a minute.
She's staying right here.
You're not going to do this.
Whoa, whoa, kid.
No, Jeremy.
Please, just do what they say.
Please! Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Move! Son of a bitch! You thought I was going to let you hurt my wife? Hey! Hey, sir.
Your wife! What did he do to her? Nothing.
Tracy! Twenty-year-old married African-American female.
Couldn't breathe.
Anaphylaxis-like throat swelling.
Children? You think pregnancy would explain Explains the marriage.
Who the hell gets married at 20? I'm guessing, people in love? Show me a 20-year-old who's not in love.
You get married at 20, you're going to be shocked at who you're living with at 30.
It's not allergies.
Negative on the skin test.
Four days of antihistamines and steroids.
Who's he talking to? What? It's got an ass.
Technically, that makes it a "who.
" New nurse in peds.
Wendy something.
Swelling just started to go down You seen her here before? A couple times.
I tried following her home, but she gave me the slip.
Swelling's You think that's funny? Ask him about the time he sabotaged my cane.
Are you serious? There was a point to it.
Wendy, this is House.
Something about not getting too uppity with normal folks who walk good.
You're everything I'd heard.
Nice to meet you.
Why so rude? You've sprinted through three bad marriages into an affair with a dying patient.
Now a naughty nurse? How many more failed relationships are we both gonna have to deal with before you learn to love yourself? And I mean that in the literal way.
It's amazing how you can not only know it's a relationship, but that it's a bad relationship, based on nothing but nothing.
I know you.
I'm not with her, not even trying.
You're lying to me.
That's interesting.
Well, as long as it's interesting.
Swelling is Why is she hanging out here? Anyone interested in what happened with the swelling? She's in peds.
That's the next wing over.
If you're wondering if Wilson's dating her, ask Wilson.
Clearly he did, and Wilson denied it.
And House doesn't believe it.
That's gotta hurt.
That's why it pays to have more than one friend, House.
If he's not hitting that, why is she here? Because I'm hitting that and it's totally hot.
Swelling took four days to resolve.
Patient has unexplained intense abdominal pains.
So explain them.
Wake me when they've done an exploratory laparotomy.
Anybody know her? Know her story? Up and at 'em.
They did a laparotomy.
Liver, bowel, gall bladder, appendix, all clean.
Belly pain plus throat swelling.
She was in some sort of assault, right? Simple neck trauma.
It says no one touched her neck, and if they did, it would resolve by now.
Didn't need to touch her.
Some guy coughed on her, right? He's in jail and he's completely healthy, except for the broken head he got from the beating he took.
There's pot on her tox screen.
Salmonella from the pot would explain the stomach pains.
It's a stretch.
She'd have a fever.
She's on steroids for the swelling, therefore no fever.
And the smoking explains the throat.
Sorry, take it back.
That's a stretch.
Got a better idea? Then stretch away.
Start her on fluoroquinolone for the salmonella.
I was waiting two hours out there.
Fascinating.
Have you considered a career as a memoirist? Let's see it.
You don't introduce yourself? Sorry, I thought you were waiting two hours.
Didn't know you wanted to chat.
Hi, I'm Greg.
How about that local sports team? It's not an infection.
How can you tell without You want me to touch you? It's your private place.
You're chewing nicotine gum, which causes dehydration, which causes wear and tear.
Try a lubricant, or foreplay if you're cheap.
Just take a swab and get it tested, okay? Sorry, I already met this month's quota of useless tests for stubborn idiots.
You're rude.
Wow.
You're like a detective or something.
And you're smart and you're funny.
But you are bitter and you're lonely, so you treat everyone around like they're idiots, and you get away with it 'cause of your cane.
Please stop.
It's hard to write through the haze of bitter tears.
But you're not actually getting away with it.
Last nurse you made fun of, she probably slipped some crap into your coffee.
Yeah, I asked for decrapinated coffee.
Treat people like jerks, you get treated like a jerk.
Thank you.
Bend over.
You kidding me? If you have an infection, you'd have a fever.
But you're chewing nicotine gum, which messes with the weather in your mouth, so I need to vacation elsewhere.
And wait till I put the thermometer in.
You break it, you bought it.
Leaving early today.
Do you ever get that thing where you're sure you forgot something, but you can't figure out what? Guess it can't be that important.
Salmonella is a bacterial infection that you can get from pot plants.
It causes stomach pain.
And my throat? The thinking is it's an inflammatory reaction to the smoking.
How much would you need to smoke for your throat to go nuts like that? Most cases, a lot.
We don't smoke a lot.
Let's just start the treatment.
You think we're liars, as well as druggies? Actually, I'm wondering if you'd mind getting her a cup of ice chips.
You're not gonna get any different answer from her.
No, no.
He can stay.
No offense, but this place is scary.
I feel better when he's around.
Tracy, I need to talk to you.
We don't do a lot of drugs.
I need to know your answers aren't being pressured.
Look, if you think the antibiotics are a good idea, you can give them to me.
Okay.
Worst-case scenario, it'll help us rule out a few things.
He's a good guy.
He just has a hard time holding in his emotions.
You don't have to apologize for me.
That mean you're going to do it for yourself? I got nothing to apologize for.
He's young.
Itchy.
Allergic reaction to the fluoroquinolone.
We should switch to a different antibiotic.
Why? We can't treat the salmonella unless Salmonella? That was a total stretch.
Oh, man, why does that sound so familiar? You think it's 'cause I said it an hour ago? Then it was a dumb thing to say.
Now it's smart.
She's got the rash, so we know she's unusually susceptible to allergic reactions, so that's what brought her in.
Probably the peanut butter in her sandwich.
Stick test was negative for peanuts.
That's because you foolishly tested her while she was lying down.
Exercise-based anaphylaxis? I think that requires exercise.
When her throat closed, they'd just got done eating.
Not even competitive eating.
And getting robbed.
That always gets my heart rate up.
Give her the same food she ate at the diner and stick her on the treadmill.
Better yet, put a gun to her head, threaten to rape her.
You don't think I'm going to get a response? No.
You're on.
Fifty bucks.
I'm not betting on a patient's A hundred bucks.
If you say so.
Tracy, I'm increasing the speed a little.
My stomach really hurts.
Jeremy, you out there? Talk to Talk You're doing great.
Isn't this enough? We're not getting any allergic response yet.
Shut it off.
We don't complete the test, my boss will just come down here and do it himself.
You do not want that.
She's in pain.
Look at her.
I don't want to have to ask you to leave.
You're gonna ask me to leave? Are you kidding me? This is my wife! You guys aren't helping her.
You're just hurting her.
What? You guys have all this equipment here, and you're not doing anything! You guys can't even figure out what's God, it hurts.
Where? In my stomach.
And my chest.
Oh, God! It's Foreman.
Get me a wheelchair.
He's as sick as she is now.
I told you it wouldn't work.
It worked on the wrong patient.
We could spend all day arguing right or wrong.
Give me the 100 bucks.
We didn't bet.
We could spend all day arguing whether we bet or not.
Give me the 100 bucks.
Come on, Foreman, pay up.
He won.
Or we could just never finish the DDX.
Husband's test showed no MI, no aortic dissection.
It's not his heart.
It's just nonspecific chest and abdominal pain.
So, psychosomatic? Panic attack? Pain persisted after he got lorazepam and morphine.
Whose locker is that? Mine.
Chest, stomach, throat.
What does it all mean? We're in the nurses' locker room.
I know that.
Oh, that is so annoying.
Wilson's girlfriend's left her stuff in my locker again.
Great.
I hadn't committed any felonies yet today.
Relax.
You know who they're going to blame.
House, you want to mess with Wilson, no problem.
But you got no reason to screw around with Can we get back to the medicine? Okay.
Why assume one disease? His chest, her throat.
So it's just a coincidence that they've both got crippling stomach pains? Wow, they really are a great couple.
So much in common.
One blue shoe.
What do you think that means? It means you're insane.
Wilson's not dating her.
You feeling luckier? It doesn't matter what I answer.
Two hundred it is.
If they're married and caught the same disease, then it means they Brochure to a jazz festival in the Poconos this weekend.
Wilson likes jazz.
Foreman, pay the man.
Four, five, six novels, no music.
What does that mean? She's literate.
It means she spends her leisure time reading, not listening.
She'd only want to go and watch jazz if the other person wanted to go.
She has a martyr complex, issues of inferiority.
Married couple, same disease.
They either got it from each other or in the same place.
Infectious or environmental? What we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxins, chemicals.
Or it's Internet porn-related.
I'll check the Internet.
You guys cover the rest of the stuff.
If they can live here without killing each other, they must really be in love.
It's tiny.
How come it's taking you so long to search it? Box of condoms in his jacket.
I know you're poor now, but buy your own.
She's on the pill.
Why would he need condoms? No, no, no.
Put that back.
Why? We show that to House, he'll just call the guy a cheating bastard.
Look how he is with Wilson.
He'd be right.
Could be an STD.
One that doesn't give them any symptoms in their sexual organs? They never mentioned anything.
Maybe they're embarrassed.
What else could it be? You think they just like the sexy feel of latex against their genitals? Maybe the wife just wants to be extra-cautious.
Come on.
You really believe that? Yeah.
Good.
Then I'm sure you'll have no problem convincing House.
That cheating bastard! He loves her.
Right, I bet he told you that she's the love of his life.
People lie.
I get it.
But they don't go up against two armed gunmen to save someone unless they There's a reason that we don't let kids vote or drink or work in salt mines.
They're idiots.
Twenty-year-olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters, which they should do more often.
Sorry.
Ridiculous of me to draw a conclusion based on actually observing them.
I should have just depended on your misanthropic view of human nature.
Gonorrhea explains all their symptoms.
Fitzhugh-Curtis syndrome for her belly pain, costochondritis and bladder infection for his chest and abdominal pain.
Good.
Now go rub their lying, cheating privates with a cotton swab.
Why would you want to look at our Is this because of the condoms? You found them in his jacket, figured he was hiding something from me.
I thought I was pregnant last month.
It kind of freaked me out.
I'm way too young to have kids.
So you just wanted to be extra-cautious? Wish one of us had figured that out, stuck to his guns.
We've still gotta check you both.
She's the only girlfriend I've ever had.
She's the love of Please don't say it.
I can't say I love my wife? We're still going to test you.
What is it? I'm white? Yeah, that's it.
Jer, I wish you would stop it.
You're really embarrassing.
Everybody thinks they're so liberal, but I see how they look at us.
White and black, especially black.
I'm sorry, Trace, but it's true.
Great.
Prove us all wrong.
Stupid No scarring, no purulent discharge, and the NAATs were negative.
They don't have an STD.
What's that you say? You've got a problem with interracial couples? Thank you, Chase.
No! Have any of your shorties ever been whities? I'm not sure I understand your ghetto slang, Dr.
House.
How many black women have you dated, by the way? I don't care about color, as long as they can help me breed a superior race.
Yeah, my exes have usually been black.
So what? It's not a racial thing.
It's cultural.
I have more in common with them.
Like I assume you only date emotionally stunted bigots.
Sorry, you're right.
That kind of prejudice is totally fine.
The abdominal pain's getting worse.
We've had to up their morphine twice.
Take the wife off the steroids.
She spikes a fever, we'll know it's an infection.
She doesn't, it's environmental.
He got off easy.
I almost gave him a colonoscopy.
That was one of the stupidest things you have ever done, and there is heavy competition for What are you doing? You only ate half your breakfast.
Feeling a little sick this morning? I'm not pregnant.
They burnt my omelet.
You need to apologize to this guy.
I am a man of principle.
I don't care how much time and money it costs you to defend me.
He wants to kill you.
No empty coffee cups.
Off the caffeine.
Good for baby.
Cups are in the other wastebasket.
Baby's in your mind.
You can berate patients all you want.
Shoving objects into their rectums is assault.
Pay attention to me.
Sorry, that would make it harder to ignore you.
Can't ignore that rapidly expanding first-trimester ass, though.
Sometimes an ass is just an ass.
You are not always right, House.
Apologize to the guy.
What are you doing here? Stay away from my son.
How did you find us? Stay away from that girl.
Please! Please! Please! You leave him alone! What happened? She's dreaming.
She started yelling.
You're breaking Jeremy's arm.
Please! No one's hurting him.
Baby, it's me.
It's Jeremy.
Tracy, Tracy.
She's okay.
Baby, it was just a bad dream.
Everything's okay.
Tracy.
Tracy? It was an acute delirium.
Well, she's talking, right? I mean, she's coming out of it.
No, she's not really talking, just making sounds.
Okay.
When's she gonna come out? Jeremy, she's in a coma.
So her vitals are pretty stable, but her response to stimuli is getting weaker, which means the coma's getting worse.
Her brain is slowly shutting down.
Can I see her? We're getting some more images to check for masses or infections.
I'll increase your morphine.
Her hallucination.
If you knew what it was, would that make any difference? Medically, I mean.
Not usually.
Some cases, the form of a hallucination can tell us what part of the brain is being hit.
I think it was about my dad.
Your dad was breaking your arm? He was a drunk, pill-popping racist.
He caught me sneaking into her house when we were 13.
She lived next door.
He broke my arm and threatened her.
We ran off when we were 16.
You still in touch with him? He killed himself a couple years ago.
Oh, it's not medical.
I just thought blacks were the racist ones.
Some generalized edema throughout, and areas of increased signal here, here, here and here.
Damn, all over her brain stem.
Could be plaques, maybe hyperdensities from the edema.
Or tumors or anything.
We add brain involvement to the chest, stomach, throat, what do we got? Didn't spike a fever when we took her off the steroids, so it's not an infection.
Leaving environmental.
What flavor? Environmental doesn't make sense, either.
If it was a toxin, we'd see it in their livers.
None of the neighbors are sick, no coworkers.
They both got it.
That means infection or environmental, and since it's not an infection What if they didn't both get it? Maybe we got our basic assumption wrong and it's two different diseases.
Maybe we didn't and it's sarcoidosis.
Sarcoidosis isn't infectious or environmental.
Tell that to the clusters of sarcoidosis cases.
Firefighters and residents of pine tar forests? I did see these two putting out that blaze in the Pine Barrens.
If sarcoidosis has two environmental causes, it has environmental causes.
We just don't know all of them yet.
Husband's chest.
He has slightly enlarged hilar lymph nodes.
Sarcoidosis explains almost all of their symptoms, including her getting worse off the steroids.
Doesn't explain his throat swelling.
That's what "almost" means.
have lung scarring.
Oh, 90? Oh, "almost"? Fine.
Consult a specialist.
If this is more dating advice Love to gossip, but I got work to do.
Is this sarcoidosis? It's pretty nonspecific.
It could be granulomas, could be plaques.
What's this? Oh! Oh! You stole Wendy's personnel file? In a way, aren't we all guilty of bribing the janitor to take her file and give it to me? Yes, I take my share of the blame, but society's First of all, I'm not dating her.
She is so wrong for you.
You know she filed a form so the hospital would take extra withholding? Who does that? She's much too cautious for me.
Point taken.
I'll start dating her so I can break up with her and start dating a stripper.
You're a miserable jerk who can't stand to be alone.
I didn't try to break up your marriages.
You did that yourself.
My marriages were so crappy, I was spending all my time with you.
Your real fear is me having a good relationship.
Yes, it keeps me up at night.
That and the Loch Ness monster, global warming, evolution and other fictional concepts.
Although, big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything.
You don't No.
I don't think it's sarcoidosis.
He says it's sarcoidosis.
Start them both on methotrexate.
And if you're wrong? If Wilson's wrong, we'll biopsy her just to be sure.
Her brain stem? Brain damage is not only possible, it's likely.
Good point.
Let's biopsy something safer, like her shoes.
The husband.
He'd have to give consent.
He can't right now.
Why? Does this guy write with his stomach? He has a conflict of interest.
It's not his brain we're cutting open, but he still gets all the benefit.
He'd do it just to save himself.
Or save her.
She's the love of his life, remember? He never said that.
She needs a guardian ad litem.
I can't let you do this.
Well, how are you going to stop me? Call Cuddy? Cameron's right.
There's a conflict.
No, there isn't.
Not unless one of them wants to die a horrible, painful death.
I'm sure the guardian will figure that out.
In a couple days.
Will the guardian convince the disease to hold off eating her brain until we can get the legalities worked out? I just don't want some plaintiff's lawyer owning my hospital.
Legalities help.
Speaking of which, did you get your thermometer back yet? We had a nice chat.
Did you know he's a Rotarian? Listen, she'll die without the biopsy.
I need to cover the hospital's ass.
You're too biased.
I send you in there, you'll steamroll over him.
Something goes wrong, he'll sue us for not disclosing the risks.
Then have Wilson talk to the husband.
Wilson kills people left and right.
No one ever sues him.
Fine, but only if you apologize to the clinic guy.
No.
Probably better to just let that couple die.
I don't care if you mean it.
Just do it.
Unfortunately, we don't see any way around a biopsy.
We'll do all we can to minimize any damage.
No.
The methotrexate isn't showing any effects yet.
You could both be She's brilliant.
All A's in college while working full-time.
I can't do that to her.
And if you both die, you think she'd want that? Do it on me instead.
It's not in your brain.
It will be.
It's the same disease, right? Do it then.
She could die before you show the symptoms.
Then stop treating me.
Great job.
Why didn't you just shoot him in the head? Hold on.
That gives me an idea.
You know what could save this couple? Lots of misdirected sarcasm.
They're dead! Yelling at you might prevent you from screwing up I didn't screw up.
I did my job.
Your job was to get me the biopsy.
No, it was to present the patient with his options.
Two options, biopsy or no biopsy.
He chose a third, no treatment.
How do you even do that? Remember when you used to just weave elaborate conspiracy theories about my love life? Those were such good times.
How much morphine is the husband on? We can't increase it any more.
His respirations are depressed.
Increase it? Drugs cloud people's judgment.
Cold-turkey the sucker.
No.
Good point.
Did I ask you guys to follow me? No, which made us nervous.
He'll catch on if he notices he's off the morphine drip.
Shoot him up with one of these puppies instead.
No! You do understand it's not really a puppy.
It's naloxone.
An opiate blocker? He'll feel like he's swallowing a bonfire.
That's pretty unethical, even for you.
How is that unethical? It'll lead to a diagnosis.
It's leading to the torture of the husband on the off-chance he'll allow a procedure on another person.
Which will lead to a diagnosis.
Didn't I just say that? Give it up.
Foreman and Cameron are too ethical, and I'm too scared of getting sued.
Fine.
Now, I'm just going to find someplace safe to hide this so I won't be tempted to use it.
You're not doing it, either.
What, are you going to run for it? If they die now, they'll never be able to grow old and tired of each other.
We can't baby-sit House all day.
Tell Cuddy to put a nurse by his room.
Damn it! Atropine? What happened to He knew we'd stop him.
He stuck both of them in his pocket.
That's actually pretty clever.
Guess I can't use that trick again, huh? My stomach! It was a pretty smart plan, Jerry, but I'm onto you.
There's only one good reason to kill the biopsy.
You poisoned your wife, and you don't want the coppers to get wise.
No! Oh, all right.
Then you're just a moron.
Biopsy me! Only if this thing hits your brain, you moron.
And I can't stress that "moron" part enough.
You're killing your wife.
She is the love of my life.
Careful.
When she's dead and you're on wife number two, you're gonna feel real guilty about saying that.
Feel that? Get used to it.
Pain's going to get a lot worse.
No, it won't.
Morphine just isn't working right now for some reason.
I'm putting you on a tranquilizer in the meantime.
It'll work again soon.
Want to bet? I don't care about the pain.
I need to be in pain, because I have to get worse.
It means you can do the biopsy on me.
Dude, she's in a coma.
Who are you trying to impress? I'd die for her.
Give up.
Or are we going to wait for him to get all grown up and cynical? I was just going to call you.
I need a court order to biopsy this woman's brain.
Speaking of litigation Michael Tritter, you know Dr.
House.
You guys can talk here.
I don't want to sue you.
Good.
I want to beat the crap out of you.
Less good.
And I'll tell you why.
You're a bully, and bullies, they don't back down until they run into someone stronger and meaner.
But you'll accept an apology? Yes.
Not really a recipe for sincerity.
I'm not looking for sincerity.
I'm looking for humiliation, something that will make you think twice before you treat the next patient like crap.
Here's what's going to happen.
You go brag to your friends about how you made the big, nasty doctor poop in his pants.
I get Cuddy off my back by telling her that I humiliated myself.
Here's the catch.
We're both going to be lying.
I'm not apologizing.
If anything, you deserved a bigger thermometer.
What's wrong? Jeremy's worse.
And that's what's right.
Cut the stubborn jerk's head open and take a slice.
It's not his brain.
Lactic acid's up to 39.
His intestines are rotting.
This isn't sarcoidosis.
Then he'll get his wish.
He's dying, just not in a way that's going to help his wife.
Coma's worse.
She's losing response to stimuli.
He's vomiting blood and his lactic acid's 45.
He's got to have ischemic bowel.
So what? Well, let's see.
Lack of blood flow's causing his guts to die, which will cause him to die, unless we cut out a few feet of small intestine and reattach the ends.
I don't know, seems worth a mention.
Why does he have it? What does it tell us? Small-cell vasculitis? Good.
Now let's hear it again, but this time with a more environmental or infectious feeling.
Or, like I said before, it might not be environmental or infectious.
He has vasculitis, she has porphyria.
Belly pain plus hallucination, classic symptoms.
It could even cause a coma.
Fine.
Start her on hematin for porphyria.
What about him? Take out the dead bowel.
It's all we can do.
And biopsy it.
If Foreman's right, it might save him.
If Foreman's wrong, the dead bowel might save both of them.
Bowel's not dead.
Unless he's been tossing down frosty cans of lactic acid, bowel is dead.
What we're looking for is a reason it's dead.
Bowel's not dead.
Just general swelling and edema.
High lactate was probably from stress.
We just sliced him open from chest to pubic bone for nothing.
Nothing's something.
Forget the ischemia.
Add the edema and swelling.
Probably from cutting him open.
Probably, not definitely.
Okay, back to the beginning.
What did we talk about? Anything.
I want to hear it all again.
Allergies.
Doesn't fit at all now.
STDs.
Maybe we got the wrong one.
What about syphilis? Neurological symptoms.
He wasn't cheating on her.
Yeah, love of his life.
Don't you have to wait till he's dead before you make that determination? She's his only girlfriend ever.
They grew up next door, ran off together as teenagers.
Sarcoidosis.
We only ruled it out because we thought he had ischemic Why did they run off? What difference does Kids talk about running off.
How many do it? What was the reason? They were trying to escape his evil, pill-popping, racist dad.
You would've liked him.
We should do another How do you know the dad was racist? He beat up his son for dating a black girl.
I extrapolated from that.
You see racism everywhere.
Maybe he just didn't like this black girl.
It's not sarcoid.
We would have seen granulomas in his She has pretty eyes.
Forget infectious.
Forget environmental.
Defective DNA is keeping them from making a critical protein, hence the fluid build-up.
Hits the throat, stomach, chest and brain.
Angioedema? Hereditary angioedema.
Symptoms fit perfectly.
It's an incredibly rare disease.
They both would have to have a parent Is it a coincidence that your sister has great hair, or that these two have green eyes? You're not saying They're not brother and sister.
God, no.
That would be sick.
Half brother and sister.
Different moms.
Dad must have had an affair with her mom.
That's why he flipped out when the kids started dating.
He had it himself.
Probably why the pills.
We won't know for sure Testing for HAE or paternity is going to take a day.
She doesn't have a day.
Start treating and see what happens.
Any change? Her response to stimuli is still just as weak.
I almost hope she stays in a coma.
That's sweet, Cameron.
I'd like to avoid shattering both of their lives.
You don't think dying will do that? It's just her oximeter.
Tracy.
Tracy.
She's awake.
Oh, God, baby.
It's gonna be okay.
Awesome.
Can I tell them? We've obviously got to let them know what's wrong.
But the cause, the brother-sister thing Good plan.
We just gotta keep them away from doctors, the Internet and anyone who's not a total moron.
Tell them.
Yesterday he was willing to die to save her.
We've gotta give him time to recover.
He might be a little vexed that you kept letting him hump his sister in the meantime.
Tell them.
Look, unless their dad was also the product of an incestuous union, the chances of serious complications are minimal.
Noble of you to take that risk.
Tell them, or I will.
So we just need to take these pills? Twice a day.
Angioedema is very treatable.
You'll be fine.
So, what? We, like, caught this from each other? No, it's a condition you've both always had.
The onset of symptoms are sometimes caused by stress or trauma.
The incident at the diner.
So we got it as kids? It's a genetic disease.
It's not There's no good reason two unrelated people would get it.
We think you guys should take a DNA test.
How can we be related? We think you have the same dad.
We won't know for sure until we do the test.
Oh, God! Your father.
No.
No, this can't be true.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jer, I'm lighter.
You know, I'm lighter than both my parents.
And our eyes.
Everyone always talks about how we have the same eyes.
You're not really siblings.
We have the same father! You didn't fight in the backseat on car trips.
You didn't change each other's diapers.
You guys just met and fell in love.
The way you feel, that hasn't changed.
Hey, Foreman, can you wear the beeper for a couple of hours this weekend? What? We just destroyed two people's lives.
So I'm not allowed to run errands anymore? I'd like to see some sign that it affects you, or that you recognize it affects other people.
So are you going to wear the beeper or not? Sorry, I can't.
You just want to punish me.
I'm busy.
With what? Going out of town.
Where are you going? Foreman, you're not missing a blue shoe, are you? Come You can't bet when you know the answer beforehand.
We could spend all day arguing whether you can bet when you know the answer beforehand.
Give me the 200 bucks.
What? Hey.
Hey.
You okay? I was just wondering, do you really like jazz? I love it.
Are you lying? I'm lying.
I want to spend time with you.
Is that so terrible? No.
Maybe we shouldn't walk out together.
If people see us leaving Everybody's got to find out sometime.
Let me just meet you at your place.
She got her own room.
She just needs some time alone.
Do you want me to hang out here a bit? If you've come to return the thermometer, don't bother.
I've moved on.
If you'd actually read my chart, you'd have known that I'm a cop.
You were going 40 in a 25 zone.
Oh, come on.
This isn't because I was speeding, this is because I'm Latino.
License, registration, proof of insurance.
Sorry, cool jacket.
Only pockets for important stuff.
That's a shame.
A 50 buck ticket? Is that your way of beating me up, or is that just the price for sticking something in you? You took a pill while you were examining a patient.
That's serious addictive behavior.
I'm betting that you're holding right now.
I wasn't weaving.
I'm not drunk.
You've got no reason to Pupils dilated.
Appear to be under the influence of a narcotic.
Would you mind turning around, please, and putting your hands behind your head? Does that polite crap ever work on people? Most people realize there's only one answer.
You got a prescription? I'm a cripple who works in a hospital.
You don't think I can get a valid prescription? Arrogant son of a bitch like you? I'm going to bet you didn't bother.
You are under arrest for possession of narcotics.
You have the right to remain silent, which you should take advantage of for once in your life.
If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you
That fried crap will kill you.
See? Good night.
Time to make the donuts.
Hands in the air! Right now! Get them up! Move out here.
Get up! Move out here! Let's go! Move it.
Put them up! Purses and wallets on the counter, right now.
Yo! Your watches, your jewelry! Take it all off! Yeah, all right.
Keep the girl.
Keep the girl.
Yeah.
We're moving to the back room.
Let's go! Go! Let's go! Move it! Go on! Not you.
Hey! Hey, wait a minute.
She's staying right here.
You're not going to do this.
Whoa, whoa, kid.
No, Jeremy.
Please, just do what they say.
Please! Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Move! Son of a bitch! You thought I was going to let you hurt my wife? Hey! Hey, sir.
Your wife! What did he do to her? Nothing.
Tracy! Twenty-year-old married African-American female.
Couldn't breathe.
Anaphylaxis-like throat swelling.
Children? You think pregnancy would explain Explains the marriage.
Who the hell gets married at 20? I'm guessing, people in love? Show me a 20-year-old who's not in love.
You get married at 20, you're going to be shocked at who you're living with at 30.
It's not allergies.
Negative on the skin test.
Four days of antihistamines and steroids.
Who's he talking to? What? It's got an ass.
Technically, that makes it a "who.
" New nurse in peds.
Wendy something.
Swelling just started to go down You seen her here before? A couple times.
I tried following her home, but she gave me the slip.
Swelling's You think that's funny? Ask him about the time he sabotaged my cane.
Are you serious? There was a point to it.
Wendy, this is House.
Something about not getting too uppity with normal folks who walk good.
You're everything I'd heard.
Nice to meet you.
Why so rude? You've sprinted through three bad marriages into an affair with a dying patient.
Now a naughty nurse? How many more failed relationships are we both gonna have to deal with before you learn to love yourself? And I mean that in the literal way.
It's amazing how you can not only know it's a relationship, but that it's a bad relationship, based on nothing but nothing.
I know you.
I'm not with her, not even trying.
You're lying to me.
That's interesting.
Well, as long as it's interesting.
Swelling is Why is she hanging out here? Anyone interested in what happened with the swelling? She's in peds.
That's the next wing over.
If you're wondering if Wilson's dating her, ask Wilson.
Clearly he did, and Wilson denied it.
And House doesn't believe it.
That's gotta hurt.
That's why it pays to have more than one friend, House.
If he's not hitting that, why is she here? Because I'm hitting that and it's totally hot.
Swelling took four days to resolve.
Patient has unexplained intense abdominal pains.
So explain them.
Wake me when they've done an exploratory laparotomy.
Anybody know her? Know her story? Up and at 'em.
They did a laparotomy.
Liver, bowel, gall bladder, appendix, all clean.
Belly pain plus throat swelling.
She was in some sort of assault, right? Simple neck trauma.
It says no one touched her neck, and if they did, it would resolve by now.
Didn't need to touch her.
Some guy coughed on her, right? He's in jail and he's completely healthy, except for the broken head he got from the beating he took.
There's pot on her tox screen.
Salmonella from the pot would explain the stomach pains.
It's a stretch.
She'd have a fever.
She's on steroids for the swelling, therefore no fever.
And the smoking explains the throat.
Sorry, take it back.
That's a stretch.
Got a better idea? Then stretch away.
Start her on fluoroquinolone for the salmonella.
I was waiting two hours out there.
Fascinating.
Have you considered a career as a memoirist? Let's see it.
You don't introduce yourself? Sorry, I thought you were waiting two hours.
Didn't know you wanted to chat.
Hi, I'm Greg.
How about that local sports team? It's not an infection.
How can you tell without You want me to touch you? It's your private place.
You're chewing nicotine gum, which causes dehydration, which causes wear and tear.
Try a lubricant, or foreplay if you're cheap.
Just take a swab and get it tested, okay? Sorry, I already met this month's quota of useless tests for stubborn idiots.
You're rude.
Wow.
You're like a detective or something.
And you're smart and you're funny.
But you are bitter and you're lonely, so you treat everyone around like they're idiots, and you get away with it 'cause of your cane.
Please stop.
It's hard to write through the haze of bitter tears.
But you're not actually getting away with it.
Last nurse you made fun of, she probably slipped some crap into your coffee.
Yeah, I asked for decrapinated coffee.
Treat people like jerks, you get treated like a jerk.
Thank you.
Bend over.
You kidding me? If you have an infection, you'd have a fever.
But you're chewing nicotine gum, which messes with the weather in your mouth, so I need to vacation elsewhere.
And wait till I put the thermometer in.
You break it, you bought it.
Leaving early today.
Do you ever get that thing where you're sure you forgot something, but you can't figure out what? Guess it can't be that important.
Salmonella is a bacterial infection that you can get from pot plants.
It causes stomach pain.
And my throat? The thinking is it's an inflammatory reaction to the smoking.
How much would you need to smoke for your throat to go nuts like that? Most cases, a lot.
We don't smoke a lot.
Let's just start the treatment.
You think we're liars, as well as druggies? Actually, I'm wondering if you'd mind getting her a cup of ice chips.
You're not gonna get any different answer from her.
No, no.
He can stay.
No offense, but this place is scary.
I feel better when he's around.
Tracy, I need to talk to you.
We don't do a lot of drugs.
I need to know your answers aren't being pressured.
Look, if you think the antibiotics are a good idea, you can give them to me.
Okay.
Worst-case scenario, it'll help us rule out a few things.
He's a good guy.
He just has a hard time holding in his emotions.
You don't have to apologize for me.
That mean you're going to do it for yourself? I got nothing to apologize for.
He's young.
Itchy.
Allergic reaction to the fluoroquinolone.
We should switch to a different antibiotic.
Why? We can't treat the salmonella unless Salmonella? That was a total stretch.
Oh, man, why does that sound so familiar? You think it's 'cause I said it an hour ago? Then it was a dumb thing to say.
Now it's smart.
She's got the rash, so we know she's unusually susceptible to allergic reactions, so that's what brought her in.
Probably the peanut butter in her sandwich.
Stick test was negative for peanuts.
That's because you foolishly tested her while she was lying down.
Exercise-based anaphylaxis? I think that requires exercise.
When her throat closed, they'd just got done eating.
Not even competitive eating.
And getting robbed.
That always gets my heart rate up.
Give her the same food she ate at the diner and stick her on the treadmill.
Better yet, put a gun to her head, threaten to rape her.
You don't think I'm going to get a response? No.
You're on.
Fifty bucks.
I'm not betting on a patient's A hundred bucks.
If you say so.
Tracy, I'm increasing the speed a little.
My stomach really hurts.
Jeremy, you out there? Talk to Talk You're doing great.
Isn't this enough? We're not getting any allergic response yet.
Shut it off.
We don't complete the test, my boss will just come down here and do it himself.
You do not want that.
She's in pain.
Look at her.
I don't want to have to ask you to leave.
You're gonna ask me to leave? Are you kidding me? This is my wife! You guys aren't helping her.
You're just hurting her.
What? You guys have all this equipment here, and you're not doing anything! You guys can't even figure out what's God, it hurts.
Where? In my stomach.
And my chest.
Oh, God! It's Foreman.
Get me a wheelchair.
He's as sick as she is now.
I told you it wouldn't work.
It worked on the wrong patient.
We could spend all day arguing right or wrong.
Give me the 100 bucks.
We didn't bet.
We could spend all day arguing whether we bet or not.
Give me the 100 bucks.
Come on, Foreman, pay up.
He won.
Or we could just never finish the DDX.
Husband's test showed no MI, no aortic dissection.
It's not his heart.
It's just nonspecific chest and abdominal pain.
So, psychosomatic? Panic attack? Pain persisted after he got lorazepam and morphine.
Whose locker is that? Mine.
Chest, stomach, throat.
What does it all mean? We're in the nurses' locker room.
I know that.
Oh, that is so annoying.
Wilson's girlfriend's left her stuff in my locker again.
Great.
I hadn't committed any felonies yet today.
Relax.
You know who they're going to blame.
House, you want to mess with Wilson, no problem.
But you got no reason to screw around with Can we get back to the medicine? Okay.
Why assume one disease? His chest, her throat.
So it's just a coincidence that they've both got crippling stomach pains? Wow, they really are a great couple.
So much in common.
One blue shoe.
What do you think that means? It means you're insane.
Wilson's not dating her.
You feeling luckier? It doesn't matter what I answer.
Two hundred it is.
If they're married and caught the same disease, then it means they Brochure to a jazz festival in the Poconos this weekend.
Wilson likes jazz.
Foreman, pay the man.
Four, five, six novels, no music.
What does that mean? She's literate.
It means she spends her leisure time reading, not listening.
She'd only want to go and watch jazz if the other person wanted to go.
She has a martyr complex, issues of inferiority.
Married couple, same disease.
They either got it from each other or in the same place.
Infectious or environmental? What we have to do is check out parasites, viruses, bacteria, fungi, prions, radiation, toxins, chemicals.
Or it's Internet porn-related.
I'll check the Internet.
You guys cover the rest of the stuff.
If they can live here without killing each other, they must really be in love.
It's tiny.
How come it's taking you so long to search it? Box of condoms in his jacket.
I know you're poor now, but buy your own.
She's on the pill.
Why would he need condoms? No, no, no.
Put that back.
Why? We show that to House, he'll just call the guy a cheating bastard.
Look how he is with Wilson.
He'd be right.
Could be an STD.
One that doesn't give them any symptoms in their sexual organs? They never mentioned anything.
Maybe they're embarrassed.
What else could it be? You think they just like the sexy feel of latex against their genitals? Maybe the wife just wants to be extra-cautious.
Come on.
You really believe that? Yeah.
Good.
Then I'm sure you'll have no problem convincing House.
That cheating bastard! He loves her.
Right, I bet he told you that she's the love of his life.
People lie.
I get it.
But they don't go up against two armed gunmen to save someone unless they There's a reason that we don't let kids vote or drink or work in salt mines.
They're idiots.
Twenty-year-olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their oil filters, which they should do more often.
Sorry.
Ridiculous of me to draw a conclusion based on actually observing them.
I should have just depended on your misanthropic view of human nature.
Gonorrhea explains all their symptoms.
Fitzhugh-Curtis syndrome for her belly pain, costochondritis and bladder infection for his chest and abdominal pain.
Good.
Now go rub their lying, cheating privates with a cotton swab.
Why would you want to look at our Is this because of the condoms? You found them in his jacket, figured he was hiding something from me.
I thought I was pregnant last month.
It kind of freaked me out.
I'm way too young to have kids.
So you just wanted to be extra-cautious? Wish one of us had figured that out, stuck to his guns.
We've still gotta check you both.
She's the only girlfriend I've ever had.
She's the love of Please don't say it.
I can't say I love my wife? We're still going to test you.
What is it? I'm white? Yeah, that's it.
Jer, I wish you would stop it.
You're really embarrassing.
Everybody thinks they're so liberal, but I see how they look at us.
White and black, especially black.
I'm sorry, Trace, but it's true.
Great.
Prove us all wrong.
Stupid No scarring, no purulent discharge, and the NAATs were negative.
They don't have an STD.
What's that you say? You've got a problem with interracial couples? Thank you, Chase.
No! Have any of your shorties ever been whities? I'm not sure I understand your ghetto slang, Dr.
House.
How many black women have you dated, by the way? I don't care about color, as long as they can help me breed a superior race.
Yeah, my exes have usually been black.
So what? It's not a racial thing.
It's cultural.
I have more in common with them.
Like I assume you only date emotionally stunted bigots.
Sorry, you're right.
That kind of prejudice is totally fine.
The abdominal pain's getting worse.
We've had to up their morphine twice.
Take the wife off the steroids.
She spikes a fever, we'll know it's an infection.
She doesn't, it's environmental.
He got off easy.
I almost gave him a colonoscopy.
That was one of the stupidest things you have ever done, and there is heavy competition for What are you doing? You only ate half your breakfast.
Feeling a little sick this morning? I'm not pregnant.
They burnt my omelet.
You need to apologize to this guy.
I am a man of principle.
I don't care how much time and money it costs you to defend me.
He wants to kill you.
No empty coffee cups.
Off the caffeine.
Good for baby.
Cups are in the other wastebasket.
Baby's in your mind.
You can berate patients all you want.
Shoving objects into their rectums is assault.
Pay attention to me.
Sorry, that would make it harder to ignore you.
Can't ignore that rapidly expanding first-trimester ass, though.
Sometimes an ass is just an ass.
You are not always right, House.
Apologize to the guy.
What are you doing here? Stay away from my son.
How did you find us? Stay away from that girl.
Please! Please! Please! You leave him alone! What happened? She's dreaming.
She started yelling.
You're breaking Jeremy's arm.
Please! No one's hurting him.
Baby, it's me.
It's Jeremy.
Tracy, Tracy.
She's okay.
Baby, it was just a bad dream.
Everything's okay.
Tracy.
Tracy? It was an acute delirium.
Well, she's talking, right? I mean, she's coming out of it.
No, she's not really talking, just making sounds.
Okay.
When's she gonna come out? Jeremy, she's in a coma.
So her vitals are pretty stable, but her response to stimuli is getting weaker, which means the coma's getting worse.
Her brain is slowly shutting down.
Can I see her? We're getting some more images to check for masses or infections.
I'll increase your morphine.
Her hallucination.
If you knew what it was, would that make any difference? Medically, I mean.
Not usually.
Some cases, the form of a hallucination can tell us what part of the brain is being hit.
I think it was about my dad.
Your dad was breaking your arm? He was a drunk, pill-popping racist.
He caught me sneaking into her house when we were 13.
She lived next door.
He broke my arm and threatened her.
We ran off when we were 16.
You still in touch with him? He killed himself a couple years ago.
Oh, it's not medical.
I just thought blacks were the racist ones.
Some generalized edema throughout, and areas of increased signal here, here, here and here.
Damn, all over her brain stem.
Could be plaques, maybe hyperdensities from the edema.
Or tumors or anything.
We add brain involvement to the chest, stomach, throat, what do we got? Didn't spike a fever when we took her off the steroids, so it's not an infection.
Leaving environmental.
What flavor? Environmental doesn't make sense, either.
If it was a toxin, we'd see it in their livers.
None of the neighbors are sick, no coworkers.
They both got it.
That means infection or environmental, and since it's not an infection What if they didn't both get it? Maybe we got our basic assumption wrong and it's two different diseases.
Maybe we didn't and it's sarcoidosis.
Sarcoidosis isn't infectious or environmental.
Tell that to the clusters of sarcoidosis cases.
Firefighters and residents of pine tar forests? I did see these two putting out that blaze in the Pine Barrens.
If sarcoidosis has two environmental causes, it has environmental causes.
We just don't know all of them yet.
Husband's chest.
He has slightly enlarged hilar lymph nodes.
Sarcoidosis explains almost all of their symptoms, including her getting worse off the steroids.
Doesn't explain his throat swelling.
That's what "almost" means.
have lung scarring.
Oh, 90? Oh, "almost"? Fine.
Consult a specialist.
If this is more dating advice Love to gossip, but I got work to do.
Is this sarcoidosis? It's pretty nonspecific.
It could be granulomas, could be plaques.
What's this? Oh! Oh! You stole Wendy's personnel file? In a way, aren't we all guilty of bribing the janitor to take her file and give it to me? Yes, I take my share of the blame, but society's First of all, I'm not dating her.
She is so wrong for you.
You know she filed a form so the hospital would take extra withholding? Who does that? She's much too cautious for me.
Point taken.
I'll start dating her so I can break up with her and start dating a stripper.
You're a miserable jerk who can't stand to be alone.
I didn't try to break up your marriages.
You did that yourself.
My marriages were so crappy, I was spending all my time with you.
Your real fear is me having a good relationship.
Yes, it keeps me up at night.
That and the Loch Ness monster, global warming, evolution and other fictional concepts.
Although, big romantic weekend in the Poconos could change everything.
You don't No.
I don't think it's sarcoidosis.
He says it's sarcoidosis.
Start them both on methotrexate.
And if you're wrong? If Wilson's wrong, we'll biopsy her just to be sure.
Her brain stem? Brain damage is not only possible, it's likely.
Good point.
Let's biopsy something safer, like her shoes.
The husband.
He'd have to give consent.
He can't right now.
Why? Does this guy write with his stomach? He has a conflict of interest.
It's not his brain we're cutting open, but he still gets all the benefit.
He'd do it just to save himself.
Or save her.
She's the love of his life, remember? He never said that.
She needs a guardian ad litem.
I can't let you do this.
Well, how are you going to stop me? Call Cuddy? Cameron's right.
There's a conflict.
No, there isn't.
Not unless one of them wants to die a horrible, painful death.
I'm sure the guardian will figure that out.
In a couple days.
Will the guardian convince the disease to hold off eating her brain until we can get the legalities worked out? I just don't want some plaintiff's lawyer owning my hospital.
Legalities help.
Speaking of which, did you get your thermometer back yet? We had a nice chat.
Did you know he's a Rotarian? Listen, she'll die without the biopsy.
I need to cover the hospital's ass.
You're too biased.
I send you in there, you'll steamroll over him.
Something goes wrong, he'll sue us for not disclosing the risks.
Then have Wilson talk to the husband.
Wilson kills people left and right.
No one ever sues him.
Fine, but only if you apologize to the clinic guy.
No.
Probably better to just let that couple die.
I don't care if you mean it.
Just do it.
Unfortunately, we don't see any way around a biopsy.
We'll do all we can to minimize any damage.
No.
The methotrexate isn't showing any effects yet.
You could both be She's brilliant.
All A's in college while working full-time.
I can't do that to her.
And if you both die, you think she'd want that? Do it on me instead.
It's not in your brain.
It will be.
It's the same disease, right? Do it then.
She could die before you show the symptoms.
Then stop treating me.
Great job.
Why didn't you just shoot him in the head? Hold on.
That gives me an idea.
You know what could save this couple? Lots of misdirected sarcasm.
They're dead! Yelling at you might prevent you from screwing up I didn't screw up.
I did my job.
Your job was to get me the biopsy.
No, it was to present the patient with his options.
Two options, biopsy or no biopsy.
He chose a third, no treatment.
How do you even do that? Remember when you used to just weave elaborate conspiracy theories about my love life? Those were such good times.
How much morphine is the husband on? We can't increase it any more.
His respirations are depressed.
Increase it? Drugs cloud people's judgment.
Cold-turkey the sucker.
No.
Good point.
Did I ask you guys to follow me? No, which made us nervous.
He'll catch on if he notices he's off the morphine drip.
Shoot him up with one of these puppies instead.
No! You do understand it's not really a puppy.
It's naloxone.
An opiate blocker? He'll feel like he's swallowing a bonfire.
That's pretty unethical, even for you.
How is that unethical? It'll lead to a diagnosis.
It's leading to the torture of the husband on the off-chance he'll allow a procedure on another person.
Which will lead to a diagnosis.
Didn't I just say that? Give it up.
Foreman and Cameron are too ethical, and I'm too scared of getting sued.
Fine.
Now, I'm just going to find someplace safe to hide this so I won't be tempted to use it.
You're not doing it, either.
What, are you going to run for it? If they die now, they'll never be able to grow old and tired of each other.
We can't baby-sit House all day.
Tell Cuddy to put a nurse by his room.
Damn it! Atropine? What happened to He knew we'd stop him.
He stuck both of them in his pocket.
That's actually pretty clever.
Guess I can't use that trick again, huh? My stomach! It was a pretty smart plan, Jerry, but I'm onto you.
There's only one good reason to kill the biopsy.
You poisoned your wife, and you don't want the coppers to get wise.
No! Oh, all right.
Then you're just a moron.
Biopsy me! Only if this thing hits your brain, you moron.
And I can't stress that "moron" part enough.
You're killing your wife.
She is the love of my life.
Careful.
When she's dead and you're on wife number two, you're gonna feel real guilty about saying that.
Feel that? Get used to it.
Pain's going to get a lot worse.
No, it won't.
Morphine just isn't working right now for some reason.
I'm putting you on a tranquilizer in the meantime.
It'll work again soon.
Want to bet? I don't care about the pain.
I need to be in pain, because I have to get worse.
It means you can do the biopsy on me.
Dude, she's in a coma.
Who are you trying to impress? I'd die for her.
Give up.
Or are we going to wait for him to get all grown up and cynical? I was just going to call you.
I need a court order to biopsy this woman's brain.
Speaking of litigation Michael Tritter, you know Dr.
House.
You guys can talk here.
I don't want to sue you.
Good.
I want to beat the crap out of you.
Less good.
And I'll tell you why.
You're a bully, and bullies, they don't back down until they run into someone stronger and meaner.
But you'll accept an apology? Yes.
Not really a recipe for sincerity.
I'm not looking for sincerity.
I'm looking for humiliation, something that will make you think twice before you treat the next patient like crap.
Here's what's going to happen.
You go brag to your friends about how you made the big, nasty doctor poop in his pants.
I get Cuddy off my back by telling her that I humiliated myself.
Here's the catch.
We're both going to be lying.
I'm not apologizing.
If anything, you deserved a bigger thermometer.
What's wrong? Jeremy's worse.
And that's what's right.
Cut the stubborn jerk's head open and take a slice.
It's not his brain.
Lactic acid's up to 39.
His intestines are rotting.
This isn't sarcoidosis.
Then he'll get his wish.
He's dying, just not in a way that's going to help his wife.
Coma's worse.
She's losing response to stimuli.
He's vomiting blood and his lactic acid's 45.
He's got to have ischemic bowel.
So what? Well, let's see.
Lack of blood flow's causing his guts to die, which will cause him to die, unless we cut out a few feet of small intestine and reattach the ends.
I don't know, seems worth a mention.
Why does he have it? What does it tell us? Small-cell vasculitis? Good.
Now let's hear it again, but this time with a more environmental or infectious feeling.
Or, like I said before, it might not be environmental or infectious.
He has vasculitis, she has porphyria.
Belly pain plus hallucination, classic symptoms.
It could even cause a coma.
Fine.
Start her on hematin for porphyria.
What about him? Take out the dead bowel.
It's all we can do.
And biopsy it.
If Foreman's right, it might save him.
If Foreman's wrong, the dead bowel might save both of them.
Bowel's not dead.
Unless he's been tossing down frosty cans of lactic acid, bowel is dead.
What we're looking for is a reason it's dead.
Bowel's not dead.
Just general swelling and edema.
High lactate was probably from stress.
We just sliced him open from chest to pubic bone for nothing.
Nothing's something.
Forget the ischemia.
Add the edema and swelling.
Probably from cutting him open.
Probably, not definitely.
Okay, back to the beginning.
What did we talk about? Anything.
I want to hear it all again.
Allergies.
Doesn't fit at all now.
STDs.
Maybe we got the wrong one.
What about syphilis? Neurological symptoms.
He wasn't cheating on her.
Yeah, love of his life.
Don't you have to wait till he's dead before you make that determination? She's his only girlfriend ever.
They grew up next door, ran off together as teenagers.
Sarcoidosis.
We only ruled it out because we thought he had ischemic Why did they run off? What difference does Kids talk about running off.
How many do it? What was the reason? They were trying to escape his evil, pill-popping, racist dad.
You would've liked him.
We should do another How do you know the dad was racist? He beat up his son for dating a black girl.
I extrapolated from that.
You see racism everywhere.
Maybe he just didn't like this black girl.
It's not sarcoid.
We would have seen granulomas in his She has pretty eyes.
Forget infectious.
Forget environmental.
Defective DNA is keeping them from making a critical protein, hence the fluid build-up.
Hits the throat, stomach, chest and brain.
Angioedema? Hereditary angioedema.
Symptoms fit perfectly.
It's an incredibly rare disease.
They both would have to have a parent Is it a coincidence that your sister has great hair, or that these two have green eyes? You're not saying They're not brother and sister.
God, no.
That would be sick.
Half brother and sister.
Different moms.
Dad must have had an affair with her mom.
That's why he flipped out when the kids started dating.
He had it himself.
Probably why the pills.
We won't know for sure Testing for HAE or paternity is going to take a day.
She doesn't have a day.
Start treating and see what happens.
Any change? Her response to stimuli is still just as weak.
I almost hope she stays in a coma.
That's sweet, Cameron.
I'd like to avoid shattering both of their lives.
You don't think dying will do that? It's just her oximeter.
Tracy.
Tracy.
She's awake.
Oh, God, baby.
It's gonna be okay.
Awesome.
Can I tell them? We've obviously got to let them know what's wrong.
But the cause, the brother-sister thing Good plan.
We just gotta keep them away from doctors, the Internet and anyone who's not a total moron.
Tell them.
Yesterday he was willing to die to save her.
We've gotta give him time to recover.
He might be a little vexed that you kept letting him hump his sister in the meantime.
Tell them.
Look, unless their dad was also the product of an incestuous union, the chances of serious complications are minimal.
Noble of you to take that risk.
Tell them, or I will.
So we just need to take these pills? Twice a day.
Angioedema is very treatable.
You'll be fine.
So, what? We, like, caught this from each other? No, it's a condition you've both always had.
The onset of symptoms are sometimes caused by stress or trauma.
The incident at the diner.
So we got it as kids? It's a genetic disease.
It's not There's no good reason two unrelated people would get it.
We think you guys should take a DNA test.
How can we be related? We think you have the same dad.
We won't know for sure until we do the test.
Oh, God! Your father.
No.
No, this can't be true.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jer, I'm lighter.
You know, I'm lighter than both my parents.
And our eyes.
Everyone always talks about how we have the same eyes.
You're not really siblings.
We have the same father! You didn't fight in the backseat on car trips.
You didn't change each other's diapers.
You guys just met and fell in love.
The way you feel, that hasn't changed.
Hey, Foreman, can you wear the beeper for a couple of hours this weekend? What? We just destroyed two people's lives.
So I'm not allowed to run errands anymore? I'd like to see some sign that it affects you, or that you recognize it affects other people.
So are you going to wear the beeper or not? Sorry, I can't.
You just want to punish me.
I'm busy.
With what? Going out of town.
Where are you going? Foreman, you're not missing a blue shoe, are you? Come You can't bet when you know the answer beforehand.
We could spend all day arguing whether you can bet when you know the answer beforehand.
Give me the 200 bucks.
What? Hey.
Hey.
You okay? I was just wondering, do you really like jazz? I love it.
Are you lying? I'm lying.
I want to spend time with you.
Is that so terrible? No.
Maybe we shouldn't walk out together.
If people see us leaving Everybody's got to find out sometime.
Let me just meet you at your place.
She got her own room.
She just needs some time alone.
Do you want me to hang out here a bit? If you've come to return the thermometer, don't bother.
I've moved on.
If you'd actually read my chart, you'd have known that I'm a cop.
You were going 40 in a 25 zone.
Oh, come on.
This isn't because I was speeding, this is because I'm Latino.
License, registration, proof of insurance.
Sorry, cool jacket.
Only pockets for important stuff.
That's a shame.
A 50 buck ticket? Is that your way of beating me up, or is that just the price for sticking something in you? You took a pill while you were examining a patient.
That's serious addictive behavior.
I'm betting that you're holding right now.
I wasn't weaving.
I'm not drunk.
You've got no reason to Pupils dilated.
Appear to be under the influence of a narcotic.
Would you mind turning around, please, and putting your hands behind your head? Does that polite crap ever work on people? Most people realize there's only one answer.
You got a prescription? I'm a cripple who works in a hospital.
You don't think I can get a valid prescription? Arrogant son of a bitch like you? I'm going to bet you didn't bother.
You are under arrest for possession of narcotics.
You have the right to remain silent, which you should take advantage of for once in your life.
If you give up the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you