King of the Hill s03e08 Episode Script
Good Hill Hunting
1 YEP.
YEP.
MM-HMM.
SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME GOING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE.
SEE? DEER.
I GUESS WE OWE YOU AN APOLOGY AND I GUESS THOSE WERE PROBABLY DEER DROPPINGS, TOO.
PROBABLY.
THOSE DEER ARE INFILTRATING THE HUMAN QUADRANT.
THEY'VE REPLACED FIRE ANTS AS THE NUMBER ONE EXURBAN PEST.
IF EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT EXTERMINATING IS TRUE-- WHICH IT IS-- WE GOT TO FIND THE QUEEN DEER AND TAKE HER OUT.
QUEEN DEER.
I'LL BET SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
AND THE BEST PART IS JOSEPH'S FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO COME.
YEP.
I'M TAKING MY BOY ON HIS FIRST HUN THE SAME WAY MY DAD TOOK ME 25 YEARS AGO.
WE'RE NOT JUST KILLING A DEER.
WE'RE KILLING JOSEPH'S CHILDHOOD.
YOU-- I AM PHOTOGRAPHICALLY MEMORIZING YOUR FACE.
Bill: HUH, LOOK AT THAT.
HE'S STARING RIGHT BACK AT YOU.
G'IH! OKAY, HANK, YOU CAN BORROW MY TACSTAR LASER SIGHT.
IT'S BOBBY'S FIRST HUN SO HE'LL NEED THE RUSSIAN NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES.
MY JOSEPH'S GOT THE BIONIC EAR BOOSTER AND I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE GOOD STUFF-- DEER WEE-WEE SUPER PREMIUM ESTRUS DEER WEE-WEE.
A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YOU.
THIS IS CRAZY.
PEOPLE USED TO GO HUNTING ALL THEY'D NEED WAS AN ORANGE SHIR AND A SIX-PACK.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED, HANK BUT YOU'D KNOW ALL THIS IF YOU WERE A HUNTER.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN YOU GO TO CHURCH MORE THAN YOU GO HUNTING.
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
( all laughing ) I'M NOT ASHAMED AND I'M GLAD THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE THINNING THE HERD BUT IF I WANT TO GET SLOPPY DRUNK AND SHOOT OFF GUNS WITH A BUNCH OF GUYS I'LL GO TO MY DAD'S OSCAR PARTY.
HANK, A HUNTING TRIP'S NOT JUS ABOUT GETTING DRUNK OR SHOOTING DEER.
IT'S ABOUT GETTING OUT IN THE WOODS AWAY FROM THE GOVERNMEN WHERE YOUR PAPER MONEY'S USELESS UNLESS YOU RUN OUT OF LEAVES WHERE A MAN CAN LET DOWN HIS GUARD AND SHARE HIS BIGGEST FEARS.
DALE, YOU WITH YOUR GUARD DOWN IS MY BIGGEST FEAR.
MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT LITTLE POINTY WELL, I'LL SAVE IT FOR THE TRIP.
YOU MEAN THE BEETLE? SHUT UP.
I WAS SAVING THAT FOR THE TRIP.
Bobby: DON'T THINK OF IT AS A RIFLE.
THINK OF IT AS A PART OF YOUR BODY THAT FIRES BULLETS.
WHEN THE TIME COMES DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO YOU KNOW, PULL THE TRIGGER? OH, YEAH.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY KID AROUND WHO DOESN'T KILL A DEER.
YOU COULD GET A LOSER NICKNAME LIKE I DON'T KNOW PORK POCKETS? MORE ABOUT NOT KILLING DEER, BUT YEAH BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY 'CAUSE WE'LL BE HUNTING WITH OUR DADS.
A TEAM.
( growls ) ( screams ) GO GET HIM, BOBBY.
NO.
WE'RE A TEAM.
BOBBY, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE PERFEC AND A MAN.
I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG ESPECIALLY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HASN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENED YET.
Hank: WHAT'S WITH THE BANDAGES? LUANNE FIXING TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER HAIRCUT? THIS IS FOR YOU AND BOBBY TO TAKE ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP.
YOU'LL BE READY FOR CUTS, SPRAINS AND I EVEN PUT IN A NEEDLE AND THREAD TO SEW YOUR EAR BACK ON AFTER BOBBY TALKS IT OFF.
( laughs ) YEAH ( laughs uncomfortably ) WE'LL BE GOSSIPING LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS.
AND I MADE A LITTLE HUNTING PERMIT CASE OUT OF A FREEZER BAG.
GIVE ME YOUR PERMIT AND I'LL STICK IT IN.
WELL, UH, I HAVEN'T REALLY GOT THE PERMIT YET.
YOU DIDN'T BUY THE PERMIT YET? HANK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? NOTHING.
UH, THAT REMINDS ME.
DID YOU GET THE BATTERIES FOR BOBBY'S GAME BOY? AND DID YOU PACK HIS BACKUP GAME BOY? BOBBY'S NOT BRINGING TOYS ON THIS TRIP.
AND WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE HAD TWO WHOLE DAYS TO SPEND JUST TALKING WITH HIS FATHER? I SPEND LOTS OF TIME WITH BOBBY.
HE'S THERE WHEN I EAT; HE'S THERE WHEN I WATCH TV.
I'VE THROWN COUNTLESS BALLS AT HIM IN THE BACKYARD.
( gasps ) HANK, YOU'RE SCARED OF BEING ALONE WITH HIM.
I AM NOT.
YOU ARE SCARED OF YOUR OWN SON.
MAYBE I AM.
SO WHAT? I DON'T GET HIM SOMETIMES-- THE THINGS THAT COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND HE'S ALMOST A TEENAGER SO IT'S JUST GOING TO GET WORSE, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT FOR TWO DAYS AND HELL, YES, I'M SCARED.
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE ON BOBBY'S ROAD TO BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL ADULT-- ONE OF THE BIG THREE: AGE 12, FIRST HUN AGE 16, LEARNS TO DRIVE AGE 18, FINALLY TURNS 18.
GIVE HIM THIS MILESTONE, HANK SO HE CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT AND THE NEX AND EVENTUALLY MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE.
AND THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AT ALL.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL GET THE PERMIT; BOBBY'LL KILL THE DEER; AND EVERYONE'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
WHA? HUH BOBBY WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MASTER BEDROOM? THE TRUCK'S ALL PACKED; BREAKFAST IS COOKED; AND HERE'S YOUR ROBE, TOWEL AND TOOTHBRUSH.
I'M A TRAVELIN' MAN MADE A LOT OF STOPS ALL OVER THE WORLD AND IN EVERY PORT, I OWN THE HEART OF AT LEAST ONE UH, HELLO, SON.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WATCHING.
( sighs ) WHAT DOES A RAZOR SMELL LIKE? I BET IT SMELLS REALLY GOOD.
LIKE METAL.
YEAH UH OKAY WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN THE KITCHEN, BOBBY? I CAN'T SHAVE AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME.
THAT'S OKAY.
WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
HMM.
A BOY'S FIRST BUCK.
I REMEMBER MY FIRST BUCK.
TOOK ME SIX SHOTS TO BRING HIM DOWN THREE MORE TO FINISH HIM OFF.
THERE WAS NO USEABLE MEAT LEFT, BUT WHAT A THRILL.
( sobbing ): OH, SUG, YOU'RE TAKING AWAY MY BOY AND YOU'RE GOING TO BRING HIM HOME A MAN.
( sniffling ) AND HOW LONG IS THAT GOING TO TAKE? EXACTLY.
SORRY, BABE.
YOU'LL HAVE TO DO WITHOUT THE BIG "D" FOR AT LEAST TWO NIGHTS.
DALE JOHN REDCORN.
YOU BROUGHT BACK THAT TEA BAG I LENT YOU? NO.
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR JOSEPH.
YOUR FIRST HUNTING TRIP IS A SACRED OCCASION.
THE DEER YOU KILL WILL BE YOUR RELATIVE.
YOU MUST SHOW YOUR RESPECT FOR HIM AND ALL THE DEER PEOPLE FIRST, BY GIVING THANKS THEN BY USING EVERY PART OF HIS BODY.
NO PROB.
WE'RE TAKING OL' MR.
BUCK RIGHT TO THE RENDERING PLANT FOR SAUSAGE-IFICATION.
( sighs ) THIS HUNTING KNIFE WAS GIVEN TO ME BY MY FATHER AND TO HIM, BY HIS FATHER AND NOW, I PASS IT ALONG TO YOU.
A USED KNIFE.
UM COOL.
THANKS.
LET ME HUG MY CHILD ONE LAST TIME.
OH, MY BIG BOY ABOUT TO BECOME MY LITTLE MAN.
HONEY, I FILLED YOUR RIFLE BAG WITH FRUIT PIES.
YOUR RIFLE IS IN YOUR SLEEPING BAG.
THANKS, MOM.
I MEAN PEGGY.
Dale: LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO! JUST A SECOND.
THERE'S ONE LAST ERRAND I NEED TO RUN.
WHAT DO YOU NEED? MIKE AND IKE'S? GOT YOU COVERED.
NO.
I JUST NEED TO HOP ON OVER TO THE COUNTY OFFICE AND PICK UP A COUPLE OF HUNTING PERMITS.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
CAN I HELP YOU? YEAH.
I'M TAKING MY BOY HUNTING SO I NEED A COUPLE OF PERMITS.
OH, AND, UH, ONE OF THOSE, UH "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS" BUMPER STICKERS.
NO MORE DEER PERMITS THIS YEAR.
WELL, WHY NOT? THEY HAVEN'T ALL BEEN SHOT.
I CAUGHT ONE PICKING THROUGH MY GARBAGE LIKE THIS WAS NEW YORK CITY.
I KNOW.
THEY'RE A REAL NUISANCE; THEY'RE EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
WELL, OF COURSE.
THERE'S TOO MANY DEER AND NOT ENOUGH FOOD.
ISSUE MORE PERMITS OR THEY'LL ALL STARVE.
YEAH.
I'M SORRY.
WE HAD TO LIMIT IT TO 400 THIS YEAR.
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD GET THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS OFF THEIR HUNGER STRIKE.
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME MY BOY CAN'T GO HUNTING BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET A COUPLE OF TWIG BOYS STARVE? FORGET NUMBER "SIX.
" YOU'RE NOW SERVING NONSENSE.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP, BOBBY.
THANKS.
JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M LEAVING A BOY I'M COMING BACK A MAN.
YOU'RE LUCKY.
I'M LEAVING A GIRL AND COMING BACK A MAN.
Kahn: HEY, KAHN JR.
, I'M IN THE CAR.
YOU RIDE SHOTGUN.
AND DON'T FORGET RAISIN BAGELS.
THEY'RE IN MY BRIEFCASE.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, LET'S GO.
UH, GUYS, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON AHEAD? BOBBY, HOP IN.
( sighs ) BOBBY, UH THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU.
NO.
ME FIRST.
I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO BE A MAN, DAD.
SO I WANTED TO TAKE THIS LAST CHANCE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
( sighs ) YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THIS LAST CHANCE TO CRY, TOO BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING.
YOU SEE THAT? HE'S ALREADY PRACTICING UP FOR NEXT SEASON.
I TELL YOU WHAT, PEGGY WITH THIS EXTRA YEAR UNDER HIS BEL HE'S NOT ONLY GOING TO BE A MAN HE'S GOING TO BE A SUPER MAN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? OUR SON, A SUPER MAN.
( chuckles ) YOU HAVE NO CLUE, DO YOU? WOULD YOU LOOK AT HIM? HE'S AT THE AGE WHERE LITTLE BOY HORMONES GET VIOLENT.
THEY DON'T CALL THEM NICE, QUIET WELL-BEHAVED HORMONES.
THEY'RE RAGING, HANK! HE HAS A CHEMICAL NEED TO KILL.
I WAS COUNTING ON YOU TO CHANNEL THAT NEED AWAY FROM HUMANS.
( screams ) I'LL BE LOCKING MY BEDROOM DOOR TONIGH SO PLEASE, BE IN BY 10:00.
RED DOG ONE, THIS IS RED DOG THREE.
DO YOU COPY? OVER.
TEN-FOUR, RED DOG THREE.
( loud static ) ( shrieks ) DAMN INFERIOR SOVIET SURPLUS MERCHANDISE.
NEVER DOES WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO.
OR MAYBE IT'S DOING EXACTLY WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO.
MAYBE IT JUST BOUNCED A SIGNAL OFF A SATELLITE TO AN ATTACK SUB IN THE GULF OF MEXICO WHOSE MISSION IS TO READ OUR BRAIN WAVES.
THAT'S MY BOY.
I WAS ABOUT TO SAY PRECISELY THE SAME THING 'CEPT THE SUB'S IN LAKE SUPERIOR.
Peggy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOBBY? NOTHING.
THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE KITCHEN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME KILL IT? NO, THANKS.
OKAY, THEN.
( loud swat ) ( groans ) HANK.
HANK, WAKE UP.
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I'M LEARNING MORE ABOUT HOW YOU DESTROYED BOBBY'S LIFE.
I SEARCHED THROUGH MY OLD SOCIAL STUDIES FILES AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND.
IN A TRIBE IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA A BOY WHO MISSES OUT ON A RITE OF PASSAGE-- IN THEIR CASE, KILLING A MISSIONARY-- REMAINS A BOY FOREVER.
HE WILL NEVER BECOME A MAN.
( sighs ) THIS IS A REPORT BY A SEVENTH-GRADER AND IT ONLY GOT A "C.
" I HAVE BACKUP.
LOOK AT THIS FOURTH-GRADE WORD FIND ABOUT THE HURON INDIANS' RITES OF PASSAGE.
"MADNESS"? WHEN A LITTLE HURON INDIAN BOY WANTS TO ACHIEVE MANHOOD BUT HE FAILS TO KILL AN ELK HE WILL GET PHYSICALLY ILL AND THEN GO STARK RAVING MAD.
WELL, I DID SEE BOBBY TALKING TO THE MRS.
BUTTERWORTH BOTTLE BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS STRANGE AT THE TIME.
Eustis: HEY, UH, HANK? COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND CARRYING THIS OUT TO MY S.
U.
V.
? EUSTIS, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN HERE BEFORE.
FINALLY DECIDED TO MAKE THE SWITCH TO PROPANE, HUH? YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S THE PERFECT CHOICE FOR ALL YOUR UH, THANKS, BUT WE USE PASSIVE SOLAR.
NO, THE PROPANE'S FOR COOKING RANDY'S DEER-- ONCE HE KILLS IT, OF COURSE.
WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT SON OF YOURS HUNTING? OH, I'VE GOT TO; IT'S A RITE OF PASSAGE AT LEAST THAT'S THE FEELING IN MY MEN'S GROUP.
THAT'S WHY I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
LAGRUNTA.
THE LAGRUNTA HOTEL AND RESOR DOES A HUNT EVERY YEAR.
THEY TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING-- GUNS, PERMITS, APRES HUNT WINE TASTING.
"PERMITS? CUSHIONED SHOOTING STANDS HEATED BLINDS WITH AUTOMATIC CORN FEEDERS.
" WELL, THAT'S NOT HUNTING.
THAT'S SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL.
THEY HAVE THAT, TOO.
YOU WANT TO RIDE BIKES WITH ME? OKAY.
WHICH BRINGS US TO THE TRILATERAL COMMISSION IRONICALLY NAMED BECAUSE THERE'S ACTUALLY FOUR DAD, I THINK I HEAR A DEER.
I BETTER GO HAVE A LOOK.
( yells ) THANKS.
WHOO-HOO! YEAH! ( laughing and cheering ) NICE THROW, DAD.
NICE SHOT, SON.
WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM, DON'T WE? YEP, THE GRIBBLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.
( imitating gunshot ) ( imitating gunshots ) BOBBY! BOBBY, STOP PLAYING DEAD! GET UP BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU.
WHAT WAS THAT? DAD, IS THAT YOU? EVERYTHING'S SO DIM.
BOBBY, GET UP.
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.
YOU'RE NOT INJURED.
THE GOLD IS BURIED ( coughing ) IT'S BURIED ( sighs ) STAND UP.
HEY, BOBBY! LOOK WHAT I GOT.
YEE-HA! I GOT SHOT IN A HOLDUP.
WHAT? HE'S FINE, CONNIE.
HE HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO A FRUIT PIE; THAT'S ALL.
HELL, YEAH.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUT.
HOW ABOUT THIS KID, HANK? EXCUSE ME.
HOW ABOUT THIS MAN? LOOK AT ME.
EVERYBODY'S GOT A DEER, AND I DON'T.
( sniffling ) EVERYTHING LOOKS SO CHRISTMASY.
( sputtering ) NOW I KNOW HOW THE JEWISH KIDS FEEL! ( sobbing ) BOBBY, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO TRADE IN THAT COWBOY COSTUME FOR A HUNTING PERMIT? WHAT? DO YOU MEAN IT? YOU GOT A PERMIT? I GOT BETTER THAN A PERMIT.
I GOT LAGRUNTA.
THIS IS FANCY.
WHERE DO THE DEER STAY? THEY DON'T KEEP THE DEER IN THE HOTEL.
GOD, I HOPE THEY DON'T.
HI, I'M BEVERLY LAGRUNTA, NO RELATION.
CAN I HELP YOU? UH, WE'RE HERE TO DEER HUNT.
WONDERFUL.
THE SHUTTLE LEAVES IN A HALF AN HOUR.
IT'S $400 FOR TWO.
WILL THAT BE CASH OR CREDIT? $400? ( nervous chuckle ): UH, HEY, BOBBY LOOK AT ALL THIS OTHER STUFF.
WE COULD GOLF OR SWIM WITH A DOLPHIN.
CAN I HUNT IT? UH, IT DOESN'T SAY.
HEY, HERE YOU GO-- "MUSEUM OF MINIATURES.
" $40 AND WORTH EVERY PENNY IF YOU ASK ME.
DON'T GET UPSET, NOW.
( nervous chuckle ): I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.
YOU PASSED.
Randy: HEY, BOBBY! LOOK AT MY DEER! HE SHOT IT ALL BY HIMSELF.
THEY WRAPPED IT AT THE GIFT SHOP.
( screeches ) ( sighs ): IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
BOY, YOU SAID IT.
NOW, CAREFUL WHEN YOU WALK.
DEER CAN HEAR THE RHYTHMIC PATTERN OF HUMAN FOOTSTEPS.
GOTCHA.
( engine whirring ) THERE'S AN OPEN STAND IN PASTURE TWO WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.
THAT'D BE HILL, RIGHT? I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT, DAD.
IT'S THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
WHEN I'M A MAN, DO I STILL GET MY ALLOWANCE OR DO I GET UPPED TO MINIMUM WAGE? ( chuckles ): WELL, SON, NOW THA YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MAN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE MORE RESPONSIBILITIES AND MAYBE YOU DO DESERVE A LITTLE MORE EACH WEEK.
YEP.
YEP.
( whirring ) I THINK I'M GOING TO SHOOT THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DAD? UH, I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WHISPER ANYMORE, BOBBY.
SQUEEZE, DON'T PULL.
THIS ISN'T RIGHT, IS IT, DAD? NO, IT ISN'T, SON.
I'M SORRY, BOBBY.
I GUESS I REALLY LET YOU DOWN, DIDN'T I? IT'S OKAY.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO BE THIS HORRIBLE.
YOU KNOW THERE'S PLENTY OF WORSE THINGS THAN GETTING TO HOLD ONTO YOUR BOYHOOD FOR A WHOLE OTHER YEAR AND, UH, BY "HOLDING ON TO YOUR BOYHOOD," I DON'T MEAN, UH I KNOW, DAD.
I KNOW.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
THIS GIVES ME AN EXTRA YEAR TO LEARN FROM THE MAN I'D MOST LIKE TO BE LIKE WHEN I FINALLY BECOME A MAN.
( sighs ): DAMN IT, BOBBY, THIS JUST AIN'T RIGHT.
YOU'RE 12 YEARS OLD; YOU'RE A GOOD SON; YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
I'M GOING TO SKIP YOU AHEAD ONE WHOLE MILESTONE.
I'M GOING TO LET YOU DRIVE MY TRUCK.
WHAT?! YOU HEARD ME.
WELL, COME ON.
GRAB SOME WHEEL.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I'M IN YOUR SEAT! BELIEVE IT, BOBBY.
IT'S REAL, AND IT'S REALLY HAPPENING.
NOW, YOU GOT TO REACH THE PEDALS.
AND NOW WE'LL FIX YOUR MIRROR.
OKAY, START HER UP.
NOW, THAT'S THE GEARSHIFT AND THAT'S THE BRAKE AND WELL, YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIES.
YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
LET'S GO! KEEP IT STEADY.
THAT'S GOOD.
THIS IS SO COOL.
I'M DRIVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK AREN'T I, DAD? ( chuckles ): YOU SURE ARE, SON.
YOU SURE ARE.
( yells ) BRAKE! OH, NO.
I HIT A DEER WITH YOUR TRUCK.
OH, GOD! YEAH.
YEAH, YOU DID AND, UH IT'S A GOOD, CLEAN KILL.
YEP A GOOD KILL.
OH, THEY'RE HOME.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT, PEGGY.
IT CAME OUT OF THE WOODS AND CHARGED RIGHT AT US BUT BOBBY TOOK CARE OF IT NO PROBLEM DIDN'T YOU, BOY? I MEAN, MAN.
OH, MY SON MY BIG, STRONG, NORMAL SON.
NICE GOING, BOBBY.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE RACK ON THAT THING? THERE'S YOUR SAUSAGE PARTS RIGHT THERE.
NICE GOING, BOBBY.
WAY TO GO, BOBBY.
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT MY DAD.
YEP.
( imitating truck engine ) ( gasps ) I'M DRIVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK.
YEP.
MM-HMM.
SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ME GOING THROUGH YOUR GARBAGE.
SEE? DEER.
I GUESS WE OWE YOU AN APOLOGY AND I GUESS THOSE WERE PROBABLY DEER DROPPINGS, TOO.
PROBABLY.
THOSE DEER ARE INFILTRATING THE HUMAN QUADRANT.
THEY'VE REPLACED FIRE ANTS AS THE NUMBER ONE EXURBAN PEST.
IF EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT EXTERMINATING IS TRUE-- WHICH IT IS-- WE GOT TO FIND THE QUEEN DEER AND TAKE HER OUT.
QUEEN DEER.
I'LL BET SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
AND THE BEST PART IS JOSEPH'S FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO COME.
YEP.
I'M TAKING MY BOY ON HIS FIRST HUN THE SAME WAY MY DAD TOOK ME 25 YEARS AGO.
WE'RE NOT JUST KILLING A DEER.
WE'RE KILLING JOSEPH'S CHILDHOOD.
YOU-- I AM PHOTOGRAPHICALLY MEMORIZING YOUR FACE.
Bill: HUH, LOOK AT THAT.
HE'S STARING RIGHT BACK AT YOU.
G'IH! OKAY, HANK, YOU CAN BORROW MY TACSTAR LASER SIGHT.
IT'S BOBBY'S FIRST HUN SO HE'LL NEED THE RUSSIAN NIGHT-VISION GOGGLES.
MY JOSEPH'S GOT THE BIONIC EAR BOOSTER AND I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE GOOD STUFF-- DEER WEE-WEE SUPER PREMIUM ESTRUS DEER WEE-WEE.
A LITTLE DAB'LL DO YOU.
THIS IS CRAZY.
PEOPLE USED TO GO HUNTING ALL THEY'D NEED WAS AN ORANGE SHIR AND A SIX-PACK.
TIMES HAVE CHANGED, HANK BUT YOU'D KNOW ALL THIS IF YOU WERE A HUNTER.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAN YOU GO TO CHURCH MORE THAN YOU GO HUNTING.
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.
( all laughing ) I'M NOT ASHAMED AND I'M GLAD THERE'S PEOPLE OUT THERE THINNING THE HERD BUT IF I WANT TO GET SLOPPY DRUNK AND SHOOT OFF GUNS WITH A BUNCH OF GUYS I'LL GO TO MY DAD'S OSCAR PARTY.
HANK, A HUNTING TRIP'S NOT JUS ABOUT GETTING DRUNK OR SHOOTING DEER.
IT'S ABOUT GETTING OUT IN THE WOODS AWAY FROM THE GOVERNMEN WHERE YOUR PAPER MONEY'S USELESS UNLESS YOU RUN OUT OF LEAVES WHERE A MAN CAN LET DOWN HIS GUARD AND SHARE HIS BIGGEST FEARS.
DALE, YOU WITH YOUR GUARD DOWN IS MY BIGGEST FEAR.
MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT LITTLE POINTY WELL, I'LL SAVE IT FOR THE TRIP.
YOU MEAN THE BEETLE? SHUT UP.
I WAS SAVING THAT FOR THE TRIP.
Bobby: DON'T THINK OF IT AS A RIFLE.
THINK OF IT AS A PART OF YOUR BODY THAT FIRES BULLETS.
WHEN THE TIME COMES DO YOU THINK YOU'LL BE ABLE TO YOU KNOW, PULL THE TRIGGER? OH, YEAH.
I DON'T WANT TO BE THE ONLY KID AROUND WHO DOESN'T KILL A DEER.
YOU COULD GET A LOSER NICKNAME LIKE I DON'T KNOW PORK POCKETS? MORE ABOUT NOT KILLING DEER, BUT YEAH BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY 'CAUSE WE'LL BE HUNTING WITH OUR DADS.
A TEAM.
( growls ) ( screams ) GO GET HIM, BOBBY.
NO.
WE'RE A TEAM.
BOBBY, I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU ARE PERFEC AND A MAN.
I DON'T MEAN TO BRAG ESPECIALLY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HASN'T ACTUALLY HAPPENED YET.
Hank: WHAT'S WITH THE BANDAGES? LUANNE FIXING TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER HAIRCUT? THIS IS FOR YOU AND BOBBY TO TAKE ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP.
YOU'LL BE READY FOR CUTS, SPRAINS AND I EVEN PUT IN A NEEDLE AND THREAD TO SEW YOUR EAR BACK ON AFTER BOBBY TALKS IT OFF.
( laughs ) YEAH ( laughs uncomfortably ) WE'LL BE GOSSIPING LIKE SCHOOLGIRLS.
AND I MADE A LITTLE HUNTING PERMIT CASE OUT OF A FREEZER BAG.
GIVE ME YOUR PERMIT AND I'LL STICK IT IN.
WELL, UH, I HAVEN'T REALLY GOT THE PERMIT YET.
YOU DIDN'T BUY THE PERMIT YET? HANK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? NOTHING.
UH, THAT REMINDS ME.
DID YOU GET THE BATTERIES FOR BOBBY'S GAME BOY? AND DID YOU PACK HIS BACKUP GAME BOY? BOBBY'S NOT BRINGING TOYS ON THIS TRIP.
AND WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME HE HAD TWO WHOLE DAYS TO SPEND JUST TALKING WITH HIS FATHER? I SPEND LOTS OF TIME WITH BOBBY.
HE'S THERE WHEN I EAT; HE'S THERE WHEN I WATCH TV.
I'VE THROWN COUNTLESS BALLS AT HIM IN THE BACKYARD.
( gasps ) HANK, YOU'RE SCARED OF BEING ALONE WITH HIM.
I AM NOT.
YOU ARE SCARED OF YOUR OWN SON.
MAYBE I AM.
SO WHAT? I DON'T GET HIM SOMETIMES-- THE THINGS THAT COME OUT OF HIS MOUTH AND HE'S ALMOST A TEENAGER SO IT'S JUST GOING TO GET WORSE, AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT FOR TWO DAYS AND HELL, YES, I'M SCARED.
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT MILESTONE ON BOBBY'S ROAD TO BECOMING A SUCCESSFUL ADULT-- ONE OF THE BIG THREE: AGE 12, FIRST HUN AGE 16, LEARNS TO DRIVE AGE 18, FINALLY TURNS 18.
GIVE HIM THIS MILESTONE, HANK SO HE CAN MOVE ON TO THE NEXT AND THE NEX AND EVENTUALLY MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE.
AND THEN YOU WON'T HAVE TO TALK TO HIM AT ALL.
ALL RIGHT, FINE.
I'LL GET THE PERMIT; BOBBY'LL KILL THE DEER; AND EVERYONE'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
WHA? HUH BOBBY WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE MASTER BEDROOM? THE TRUCK'S ALL PACKED; BREAKFAST IS COOKED; AND HERE'S YOUR ROBE, TOWEL AND TOOTHBRUSH.
I'M A TRAVELIN' MAN MADE A LOT OF STOPS ALL OVER THE WORLD AND IN EVERY PORT, I OWN THE HEART OF AT LEAST ONE UH, HELLO, SON.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WATCHING.
( sighs ) WHAT DOES A RAZOR SMELL LIKE? I BET IT SMELLS REALLY GOOD.
LIKE METAL.
YEAH UH OKAY WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN THE KITCHEN, BOBBY? I CAN'T SHAVE AND TALK AT THE SAME TIME.
THAT'S OKAY.
WE DON'T HAVE TO TALK.
HMM.
A BOY'S FIRST BUCK.
I REMEMBER MY FIRST BUCK.
TOOK ME SIX SHOTS TO BRING HIM DOWN THREE MORE TO FINISH HIM OFF.
THERE WAS NO USEABLE MEAT LEFT, BUT WHAT A THRILL.
( sobbing ): OH, SUG, YOU'RE TAKING AWAY MY BOY AND YOU'RE GOING TO BRING HIM HOME A MAN.
( sniffling ) AND HOW LONG IS THAT GOING TO TAKE? EXACTLY.
SORRY, BABE.
YOU'LL HAVE TO DO WITHOUT THE BIG "D" FOR AT LEAST TWO NIGHTS.
DALE JOHN REDCORN.
YOU BROUGHT BACK THAT TEA BAG I LENT YOU? NO.
I HAVE SOMETHING FOR JOSEPH.
YOUR FIRST HUNTING TRIP IS A SACRED OCCASION.
THE DEER YOU KILL WILL BE YOUR RELATIVE.
YOU MUST SHOW YOUR RESPECT FOR HIM AND ALL THE DEER PEOPLE FIRST, BY GIVING THANKS THEN BY USING EVERY PART OF HIS BODY.
NO PROB.
WE'RE TAKING OL' MR.
BUCK RIGHT TO THE RENDERING PLANT FOR SAUSAGE-IFICATION.
( sighs ) THIS HUNTING KNIFE WAS GIVEN TO ME BY MY FATHER AND TO HIM, BY HIS FATHER AND NOW, I PASS IT ALONG TO YOU.
A USED KNIFE.
UM COOL.
THANKS.
LET ME HUG MY CHILD ONE LAST TIME.
OH, MY BIG BOY ABOUT TO BECOME MY LITTLE MAN.
HONEY, I FILLED YOUR RIFLE BAG WITH FRUIT PIES.
YOUR RIFLE IS IN YOUR SLEEPING BAG.
THANKS, MOM.
I MEAN PEGGY.
Dale: LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO! JUST A SECOND.
THERE'S ONE LAST ERRAND I NEED TO RUN.
WHAT DO YOU NEED? MIKE AND IKE'S? GOT YOU COVERED.
NO.
I JUST NEED TO HOP ON OVER TO THE COUNTY OFFICE AND PICK UP A COUPLE OF HUNTING PERMITS.
DON'T WORRY.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
CAN I HELP YOU? YEAH.
I'M TAKING MY BOY HUNTING SO I NEED A COUPLE OF PERMITS.
OH, AND, UH, ONE OF THOSE, UH "DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS" BUMPER STICKERS.
NO MORE DEER PERMITS THIS YEAR.
WELL, WHY NOT? THEY HAVEN'T ALL BEEN SHOT.
I CAUGHT ONE PICKING THROUGH MY GARBAGE LIKE THIS WAS NEW YORK CITY.
I KNOW.
THEY'RE A REAL NUISANCE; THEY'RE EATING EVERYTHING IN SIGHT.
WELL, OF COURSE.
THERE'S TOO MANY DEER AND NOT ENOUGH FOOD.
ISSUE MORE PERMITS OR THEY'LL ALL STARVE.
YEAH.
I'M SORRY.
WE HAD TO LIMIT IT TO 400 THIS YEAR.
IT WAS THE ONLY WAY WE COULD GET THE ENVIRONMENTALISTS OFF THEIR HUNGER STRIKE.
SO YOU'RE TELLING ME MY BOY CAN'T GO HUNTING BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T LET A COUPLE OF TWIG BOYS STARVE? FORGET NUMBER "SIX.
" YOU'RE NOW SERVING NONSENSE.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR HUNTING TRIP, BOBBY.
THANKS.
JUST SO YOU KNOW, I'M LEAVING A BOY I'M COMING BACK A MAN.
YOU'RE LUCKY.
I'M LEAVING A GIRL AND COMING BACK A MAN.
Kahn: HEY, KAHN JR.
, I'M IN THE CAR.
YOU RIDE SHOTGUN.
AND DON'T FORGET RAISIN BAGELS.
THEY'RE IN MY BRIEFCASE.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, LET'S GO.
UH, GUYS, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON AHEAD? BOBBY, HOP IN.
( sighs ) BOBBY, UH THERE'S SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU.
NO.
ME FIRST.
I KNOW I'M ABOUT TO BE A MAN, DAD.
SO I WANTED TO TAKE THIS LAST CHANCE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.
( sighs ) YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE THIS LAST CHANCE TO CRY, TOO BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GOING.
YOU SEE THAT? HE'S ALREADY PRACTICING UP FOR NEXT SEASON.
I TELL YOU WHAT, PEGGY WITH THIS EXTRA YEAR UNDER HIS BEL HE'S NOT ONLY GOING TO BE A MAN HE'S GOING TO BE A SUPER MAN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? OUR SON, A SUPER MAN.
( chuckles ) YOU HAVE NO CLUE, DO YOU? WOULD YOU LOOK AT HIM? HE'S AT THE AGE WHERE LITTLE BOY HORMONES GET VIOLENT.
THEY DON'T CALL THEM NICE, QUIET WELL-BEHAVED HORMONES.
THEY'RE RAGING, HANK! HE HAS A CHEMICAL NEED TO KILL.
I WAS COUNTING ON YOU TO CHANNEL THAT NEED AWAY FROM HUMANS.
( screams ) I'LL BE LOCKING MY BEDROOM DOOR TONIGH SO PLEASE, BE IN BY 10:00.
RED DOG ONE, THIS IS RED DOG THREE.
DO YOU COPY? OVER.
TEN-FOUR, RED DOG THREE.
( loud static ) ( shrieks ) DAMN INFERIOR SOVIET SURPLUS MERCHANDISE.
NEVER DOES WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO.
OR MAYBE IT'S DOING EXACTLY WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO DO.
MAYBE IT JUST BOUNCED A SIGNAL OFF A SATELLITE TO AN ATTACK SUB IN THE GULF OF MEXICO WHOSE MISSION IS TO READ OUR BRAIN WAVES.
THAT'S MY BOY.
I WAS ABOUT TO SAY PRECISELY THE SAME THING 'CEPT THE SUB'S IN LAKE SUPERIOR.
Peggy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BOBBY? NOTHING.
THERE'S A SPIDER IN THE KITCHEN.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME KILL IT? NO, THANKS.
OKAY, THEN.
( loud swat ) ( groans ) HANK.
HANK, WAKE UP.
I JUST WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I'M LEARNING MORE ABOUT HOW YOU DESTROYED BOBBY'S LIFE.
I SEARCHED THROUGH MY OLD SOCIAL STUDIES FILES AND LOOK WHAT I FOUND.
IN A TRIBE IN PAPUA NEW GUINEA A BOY WHO MISSES OUT ON A RITE OF PASSAGE-- IN THEIR CASE, KILLING A MISSIONARY-- REMAINS A BOY FOREVER.
HE WILL NEVER BECOME A MAN.
( sighs ) THIS IS A REPORT BY A SEVENTH-GRADER AND IT ONLY GOT A "C.
" I HAVE BACKUP.
LOOK AT THIS FOURTH-GRADE WORD FIND ABOUT THE HURON INDIANS' RITES OF PASSAGE.
"MADNESS"? WHEN A LITTLE HURON INDIAN BOY WANTS TO ACHIEVE MANHOOD BUT HE FAILS TO KILL AN ELK HE WILL GET PHYSICALLY ILL AND THEN GO STARK RAVING MAD.
WELL, I DID SEE BOBBY TALKING TO THE MRS.
BUTTERWORTH BOTTLE BUT I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS STRANGE AT THE TIME.
Eustis: HEY, UH, HANK? COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND CARRYING THIS OUT TO MY S.
U.
V.
? EUSTIS, I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN HERE BEFORE.
FINALLY DECIDED TO MAKE THE SWITCH TO PROPANE, HUH? YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S THE PERFECT CHOICE FOR ALL YOUR UH, THANKS, BUT WE USE PASSIVE SOLAR.
NO, THE PROPANE'S FOR COOKING RANDY'S DEER-- ONCE HE KILLS IT, OF COURSE.
WHAT? YOU'RE GOING TO TAKE THAT SON OF YOURS HUNTING? OH, I'VE GOT TO; IT'S A RITE OF PASSAGE AT LEAST THAT'S THE FEELING IN MY MEN'S GROUP.
THAT'S WHY I'M NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES.
LAGRUNTA.
THE LAGRUNTA HOTEL AND RESOR DOES A HUNT EVERY YEAR.
THEY TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING-- GUNS, PERMITS, APRES HUNT WINE TASTING.
"PERMITS? CUSHIONED SHOOTING STANDS HEATED BLINDS WITH AUTOMATIC CORN FEEDERS.
" WELL, THAT'S NOT HUNTING.
THAT'S SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL.
THEY HAVE THAT, TOO.
YOU WANT TO RIDE BIKES WITH ME? OKAY.
WHICH BRINGS US TO THE TRILATERAL COMMISSION IRONICALLY NAMED BECAUSE THERE'S ACTUALLY FOUR DAD, I THINK I HEAR A DEER.
I BETTER GO HAVE A LOOK.
( yells ) THANKS.
WHOO-HOO! YEAH! ( laughing and cheering ) NICE THROW, DAD.
NICE SHOT, SON.
WE MAKE A GREAT TEAM, DON'T WE? YEP, THE GRIBBLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE.
( imitating gunshot ) ( imitating gunshots ) BOBBY! BOBBY, STOP PLAYING DEAD! GET UP BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU.
WHAT WAS THAT? DAD, IS THAT YOU? EVERYTHING'S SO DIM.
BOBBY, GET UP.
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT.
YOU'RE NOT INJURED.
THE GOLD IS BURIED ( coughing ) IT'S BURIED ( sighs ) STAND UP.
HEY, BOBBY! LOOK WHAT I GOT.
YEE-HA! I GOT SHOT IN A HOLDUP.
WHAT? HE'S FINE, CONNIE.
HE HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO A FRUIT PIE; THAT'S ALL.
HELL, YEAH.
LOOK AT THAT BEAUT.
HOW ABOUT THIS KID, HANK? EXCUSE ME.
HOW ABOUT THIS MAN? LOOK AT ME.
EVERYBODY'S GOT A DEER, AND I DON'T.
( sniffling ) EVERYTHING LOOKS SO CHRISTMASY.
( sputtering ) NOW I KNOW HOW THE JEWISH KIDS FEEL! ( sobbing ) BOBBY, HOW'D YOU LIKE TO TRADE IN THAT COWBOY COSTUME FOR A HUNTING PERMIT? WHAT? DO YOU MEAN IT? YOU GOT A PERMIT? I GOT BETTER THAN A PERMIT.
I GOT LAGRUNTA.
THIS IS FANCY.
WHERE DO THE DEER STAY? THEY DON'T KEEP THE DEER IN THE HOTEL.
GOD, I HOPE THEY DON'T.
HI, I'M BEVERLY LAGRUNTA, NO RELATION.
CAN I HELP YOU? UH, WE'RE HERE TO DEER HUNT.
WONDERFUL.
THE SHUTTLE LEAVES IN A HALF AN HOUR.
IT'S $400 FOR TWO.
WILL THAT BE CASH OR CREDIT? $400? ( nervous chuckle ): UH, HEY, BOBBY LOOK AT ALL THIS OTHER STUFF.
WE COULD GOLF OR SWIM WITH A DOLPHIN.
CAN I HUNT IT? UH, IT DOESN'T SAY.
HEY, HERE YOU GO-- "MUSEUM OF MINIATURES.
" $40 AND WORTH EVERY PENNY IF YOU ASK ME.
DON'T GET UPSET, NOW.
( nervous chuckle ): I WAS JUST TESTING YOU.
YOU PASSED.
Randy: HEY, BOBBY! LOOK AT MY DEER! HE SHOT IT ALL BY HIMSELF.
THEY WRAPPED IT AT THE GIFT SHOP.
( screeches ) ( sighs ): IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
BOY, YOU SAID IT.
NOW, CAREFUL WHEN YOU WALK.
DEER CAN HEAR THE RHYTHMIC PATTERN OF HUMAN FOOTSTEPS.
GOTCHA.
( engine whirring ) THERE'S AN OPEN STAND IN PASTURE TWO WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.
THAT'D BE HILL, RIGHT? I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS MOMENT, DAD.
IT'S THE GREATEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME.
WHEN I'M A MAN, DO I STILL GET MY ALLOWANCE OR DO I GET UPPED TO MINIMUM WAGE? ( chuckles ): WELL, SON, NOW THA YOU'RE GOING TO BE A MAN YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE MORE RESPONSIBILITIES AND MAYBE YOU DO DESERVE A LITTLE MORE EACH WEEK.
YEP.
YEP.
( whirring ) I THINK I'M GOING TO SHOOT THE ONE ON THE LEFT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DAD? UH, I DON'T THINK YOU HAVE TO WHISPER ANYMORE, BOBBY.
SQUEEZE, DON'T PULL.
THIS ISN'T RIGHT, IS IT, DAD? NO, IT ISN'T, SON.
I'M SORRY, BOBBY.
I GUESS I REALLY LET YOU DOWN, DIDN'T I? IT'S OKAY.
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO BE THIS HORRIBLE.
YOU KNOW THERE'S PLENTY OF WORSE THINGS THAN GETTING TO HOLD ONTO YOUR BOYHOOD FOR A WHOLE OTHER YEAR AND, UH, BY "HOLDING ON TO YOUR BOYHOOD," I DON'T MEAN, UH I KNOW, DAD.
I KNOW.
LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.
THIS GIVES ME AN EXTRA YEAR TO LEARN FROM THE MAN I'D MOST LIKE TO BE LIKE WHEN I FINALLY BECOME A MAN.
( sighs ): DAMN IT, BOBBY, THIS JUST AIN'T RIGHT.
YOU'RE 12 YEARS OLD; YOU'RE A GOOD SON; YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS.
I'M GOING TO SKIP YOU AHEAD ONE WHOLE MILESTONE.
I'M GOING TO LET YOU DRIVE MY TRUCK.
WHAT?! YOU HEARD ME.
WELL, COME ON.
GRAB SOME WHEEL.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT! I'M IN YOUR SEAT! BELIEVE IT, BOBBY.
IT'S REAL, AND IT'S REALLY HAPPENING.
NOW, YOU GOT TO REACH THE PEDALS.
AND NOW WE'LL FIX YOUR MIRROR.
OKAY, START HER UP.
NOW, THAT'S THE GEARSHIFT AND THAT'S THE BRAKE AND WELL, YOU'VE SEEN THE MOVIES.
YOU KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
LET'S GO! KEEP IT STEADY.
THAT'S GOOD.
THIS IS SO COOL.
I'M DRIVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK AREN'T I, DAD? ( chuckles ): YOU SURE ARE, SON.
YOU SURE ARE.
( yells ) BRAKE! OH, NO.
I HIT A DEER WITH YOUR TRUCK.
OH, GOD! YEAH.
YEAH, YOU DID AND, UH IT'S A GOOD, CLEAN KILL.
YEP A GOOD KILL.
OH, THEY'RE HOME.
YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT, PEGGY.
IT CAME OUT OF THE WOODS AND CHARGED RIGHT AT US BUT BOBBY TOOK CARE OF IT NO PROBLEM DIDN'T YOU, BOY? I MEAN, MAN.
OH, MY SON MY BIG, STRONG, NORMAL SON.
NICE GOING, BOBBY.
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE RACK ON THAT THING? THERE'S YOUR SAUSAGE PARTS RIGHT THERE.
NICE GOING, BOBBY.
WAY TO GO, BOBBY.
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT WITHOUT MY DAD.
YEP.
( imitating truck engine ) ( gasps ) I'M DRIVING THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK.