The Middle s03e18 Episode Script

out here in the middle, We spend a lot of time.
Running our kids around to lots of activities, But the only thing worse than having too many activities.
Is having no activities.
I'm bored.
You could vacuum.
You're hilarious.
Why don't you read a book? Why don't you read a book? Ooh.
Leave that open.
The cool air feels good on my feet.
You know, what else might feel good is soap and a washcloth.
Oh, this sucks.
Basketball's over.
Baseball season hasn't started yet.
I need a hug.
But not from you from some hot chick.
Hey, did you see your dad this morning? I don't know what's up with him.
He came home after I went to bed last night, And then he left really early this morning Ohh, what you're saying is boring! Hey, sue! You wanna do something with me? What's happening? He's bored.
Well, I am not bored, 'cause I'm too busy thinking about my birthday My once-every-four-years leap year birthday.
"Leap year"? Don't you mean "lame-p year"? Oh, God.
I'm so bored, I can't even insult my sister.
You regular birthday-ed don't understand.
What it's like for us leapers.
I only get to celebrate my actual birthday.
Once every four years, so this is big.
And, mom? This year, I've decided I want it to be a surprise party.
It doesn't work that way.
If you ask for a surprise party, It's not really gonna be a surprise.
That's okay.
I promise to be totally surprised.
Every time we watch "up," I'm still surprised when the house floats away.
Sue, remember the deal.
We already gave you the Justin Bieber tickets, So you're just getting.
A cheap, old-fashioned non-surprise birthday party.
Ohh.
Okay.
I get it.
Sure, I am.
You are, on your birthday, I'm telling you.
Uh-huh.
Right.
Gotcha.
What are you doing? I'm winking.
That's both eyes.
Really? Huh.
Okay, well, I'm gonna be in my room.
- If you want to make any - secret plans.
Sue, we're not having a surprise party.
I'm totally believing you.
Now, brick, can you think of something you could say.
To compliment Henry? I like your shirt.
Thank you! I don't really like his shirt.
Remember how we talked about using our internal editor? Oh, I did.
I don't like his shoes, either.
Okay.
There she is.
Come in, come in, come in.
Boys, we have a new member of our social skills group.
Everyone say "hi" to hayley.
Hi.
Well, hello there.
It's a girl! What the hell? I know.
Are you happy? This is how bored I am.
Wow.
Can you be bored in the hallway where brick was eating cheerios? Hey, brick.
Oh, shoot.
They forgot yours.
Mm.
Well, here.
Have two fries.
Use extra ketchup so you get your vegetables.
So How was social group? Interesting.
We got a girl.
A girl? Really? What's her issue? I don't know.
She makes eye contact, She never has her hands in her pants, And everything she eats is food.
Wow.
The big three.
Sounds like a clerical error.
That's what I'm thinking.
Mm.
Hey, is your dad home? Nope.
I actually haven't seen him much in a couple days.
His role in my life has really dwindled.
Maybe he couldn't take it any more and finally left.
Frankly, I give him credit for staying this long.
Hey.
Where you been? I told you, I had some stuff to do at work.
Go back to sleep.
What? What are you talking about? Since when do you have to work till 3:00 in the morning? It's nothing.
Shh.
No.
No, this is seriously getting weird, Mike.
What's happening? Are you having an affair? And if you are, Could you please come in more quietly from now on? It's no big deal.
If it's no big deal, why can't you tell me? What's going on? Nothing.
It's just There's there's this cat at the quarry's been sick, So I've been looking after him.
It's not a big deal.
Go to bed.
Wait, wait, wait.
"A cat"? What do you mean, "a cat"? I don't understand.
You have a cat? He's not my cat.
It's Just a cat that comes by.
Yeah, I took him to the vet, but You're taking a cat to the vet? Brick didn't poop for three weeks.
You didn't notice.
Well, limestone's been pretty sick.
You named him? I didn't name him.
I just call him that.
So how long have you had your pet cat limestone? It's not my cat.
I don't know.
Seven years? Are you serious? How come I'm just hearing about this? 'Cause there's nothing to hear.
It's boring.
Look, I just think it's kind of odd that this never came up.
If I had a cat at work, I would be telling you all kinds of stories about him.
And that would be boring.
What? It's nice.
It's cute thinking about you taking care of a cat.
It humanizes you.
I need to be humanized? Little bit.
Were you gonna say "good night," Mike? I said "good night" to him at the quarry.
I meant, to me.
Oddly, introducing a girl into this group of oddballs.
Focused them in a way.
That making pudding and building legos never had.
I feel very excited right now, and I don't know why! Hayley, did you know that "lego" comes.
From the Danish word leg godt, which means "play well"? It also means "I put together" in Latin.
So even if it was a clerical error, nobody minded.
It's almost like she was an angel.
Sent to unify this band of lost boys Theo, will you pass me those yellow pieces? Ow! And bite them.
She's a biter! Who cares? who cares? hey! Check it out.
I found all these sick attachments! locked and loaded.
Huh? Boo! it's like a slot machine! Hey, any winnings belong to the house.
So listen, sue, I need you to tell me.
What friends you want to have over.
And what kind of cake you want, and not to influence you, But I do have a box of yellow in the cabinet.
It's just add water, so Roger that.
No surprise party.
That's why Axl is vacuuming.
Sue, seriously, we're not having a surprise party.
Right.
Gotcha.
We're just gonna have a regular dinner on my birthday, A day that only comes once every four years.
Sue, I can't stress this enough.
We're not having a surprise party.
Is exactly what someone would say, Who's planning a surprise party.
Oy.
Oh, no.
Brick, did you know about this? This says they're ending social group.
Because of budget cuts.
They can't do this.
You're not fixed yet.
What? But I love social group.
You do? Hey! Check it out! It does curtains, too! I don't know the men in this house at all.
We gotta save social group.
How? Well, the school won't pay for the janitor.
To stay late and keep the school open any more, so I think Maybe they'll let us lock up the school ourselves.
You guys know why we're here, right? My mom says I'm normal.
She's lying.
What does the janitor do, anyways? Cleans up our barf.
Well, what if we promise not to barf? I can't do that.
I have acid reflux from nerves.
I say we raise the money to pay the janitor ourselves.
Meow.
Zack's on board.
Sometimes, I pretend to have a rock store.
At home in my basement.
We could sell them.
My dad pays me to leave the room when I'm annoying him! I'm guessing that's a really steady stream of income.
We could tell all our grandmothers.
That our birthday's coming up.
That would be 7 $5 checks right there.
I've changed my mind about my rocks.
I don't want to sell them.
Maybe we can Okay, okay, okay.
We're off to a really good start here.
All in favor of taking a break.
And going to see what hayley's doing Corey, we have a problem? No, my hands are in my pants.
Then we're good.
What are you? An animal? I just vacuumed in here.
- oh, I'm sorry.
- Am I making a mess? - Mm.
Check me out.
- I can eat off my chest.
mmm.
Oh, bam! Nailed it! God.
Mom? I talked with the other guys, and we've decided.
To raise the money ourselves to save social group.
Really? Here's our thoughts.
Oh.
Wow.
That's a lot of interesting ideas.
"Rocket ship rides" "finding treasure with a metal detector" Oh.
"Designing a fleet of helper robots.
" That'll never turn against mankind.
" That was mine.
Hmm.
How about something a little simpler, Like a car wash or bake sale? Great idea, mom.
Run with that.
I trust you.
No, brick, I'm not It's fine.
Don't worry.
I'm not gonna micromanage you.
Oh, mom, they only gave us one egg roll.
I call it! Axl, it's my leap year birthday week! Mom, Axl's licking my leap year birthday week egg roll! Axl, give your sister her birthday week egg roll.
Chinese, huh? Mm.
Coupon.
You're home from work late.
Were you were limestone? Who's limestone? Nobody.
He's a cat.
We have a cat? How long have we had a cat? It's not our cat.
It's your dad's cat.
Dad has a cat? Where? At work.
It's your dad's work cat that he never told us about.
Hey.
How come you get a cat, and we don't? Can you bring him home? Can I feed him? Can he sleep in my room? Why does he get to sleep in your room? I'm the one with no friends.
Nobody's getting the cat.
The cat is dead.
Our cat died?! Oh, Mike, what happened? Well, he was so weak, he couldn't even eat or drink, So I was kind of holding him, Feeding him milk with an eyedropper, Felt him sort of shudder, and I looked in his eyes, And he let out one last little meow, and He was gone.
So wrapped him in my shirt, took him down to the west berm.
Where he liked to lay in the sun, And, uh, dug a hole and buried him.
So what's this? Chow mein? Frankie, I'm fine.
I know, but just so you know, I'm here.
yes, I see you here.
And if you need to talk Mm.
There's nothing to talk about.
I'm fine.
Okay, 'cause you seem a little tense.
I'm tense 'cause I'm trying to spit, and you're in my way.
You mind? Okay.
'cause if you're sad, it's okay to be sad.
I know that.
I'd be sad if I was sad, but I'm not sad.
Ohh.
So the next few days, Mike continued to not be sad.
Hey, where's your dad? I told him the game was on, but he didn't want to watch.
Then he took two beers and went into the garage.
You're watching the game? I'm counting the dribbles.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I just vacuumed! Phone books! You're not watching the purdue game? I'm building a shelf.
You're sad.
Why can't you just admit that you're sad? It's annoying.
Well, I think it's annoying.
That you're bugging me when I'm building a shelf.
I'm not trying to be annoying.
It's just that I sense that you're holding things in, And if you wanted to talk about it, I want to, you know Help you process this.
Frankie, it was just a cat.
Named limestone.
And he died.
In your arms.
Nothing to process.
Except profound feelings of loss, grief, and pain.
Mike, just let it out.
It never needs to leave this garage.
Well, I need to leave this garage.
Gotta get my hair cut.
Well, I would like to give you a hug.
Can I give you a hug? Oh.
Okay.
Are we good? Can I go get my hair cut now? phone books! Okay.
Axl.
Now I'm not saying you have to tell me anything, but If a bunch of people happened to be coming over today, How would I want to dress? Would it be more casual or dressy? Is there a theme? Is it "Hollywood"? Well I can't tell you much, But you're gonna want to go wait in the basement.
Wait.
Right now? Damn it, sue! I wasn't supposed to say anything.
Now go in there so I don't get in trouble.
What am I supposed to do? - It's not ready yet.
- just wait.
okay.
This is so exciting! what's wrong? My barber's moving to a damn salon.
Okay.
So follow him to another salon.
I'm not gonna do that, Frankie.
I'm not gonna get my hair cut at a place called "the gossip.
" I just j The cat, my barber everything I care about, gone.
Your cat and your barber are everything you care about? And the colts.
That's it.
I'm done loving things.
Turns out the other mothers weren't that psyched.
To help a bunch of socially disorganized kids.
Hold a car wash, But they were only too happy.
To dump 'em all on me for four hours.
Uh, sorry about that.
They're still getting the hang of this.
Here's your $5 back.
And take a bundt cake.
Frankie Your daughter's in the basement.
She wants to know if she can come out.
Ahh Ahh Aah! Hmm.
sorry about that.
Your car will be in the shop two hours, tops.
Roses are red.
Everything else should be.
I only eat red food.
Do you want a tomato slice from my lunch? No.
Hey.
They sewed your socks to your underwear.
That's smart.
That way, you'll never lose them.
I guess.
I can reach anything.
On the bottom rung of the vending machine.
Would you like some certs or a comb? I wouldn't mind a comb.
Hmm.
Stick with me.
I'm sort of a big fish in a weird pond.
Hey! Where are you going?! Just keep walking.
Pretend you can't hear him.
He's taking her away! Hayley, use my sponge! I want to wash a car with hayley! - She's coming with me! - me.
These guys all have problems, but don't tell 'em I told you! Ow! Oh! Bite me! Bite me! Don't listen to him.
You can bite whoever you want.
Yeah! Bite me! Hey, hey, hey! Stop that! Social skills! Remember your social skills! Nice, brick.
I gave up my whole day.
And organized that stupid fund-raiser 'cause I thought you wanted to save social group.
I thought you cared! Nope, I just like hayley.
Hey, a cute girl who's a little strange.
Just plops into my lap? That doesn't happen every day.
The pretty ones usually have it all together.
great.
I'm wet, my feet are freezing, I got cake down my shirt I'm taking a shower and going to bed.
It's only 7:00.
I don't care! Mike.
Mike.
Wake up.
We forgot sue's birthday.
Huh? What are you talking about? The leap year day.
I think it's today.
Like, yesterday today.
We missed it.
How could you forget her birthday? It's leap year.
We don't usually have this day, and You forgot, too, you know.
Sue.
Sue, wake up.
hey.
Happy Birthday.
Oh, my God.
Oh, what a surprise.
Oh, you got me so good.
Yeah, we got you good.
Oh, and I cried myself to sleep for nothing.
wait.
Where's Axl and brick? Oh.
They're the second wave of the surprise.
Ooh.
Oh, should I open my presents now? Um, you bet.
Ohh.
Get up.
Get up.
It's your sister's birthday.
What? Come on.
Just get up and act happy.
surprise.
Ohh.
Presents! Aah! - oh! - The Bumblebee sweater I wanted! - Matt loves me in yellow! - Aw, thanks, mom.
You are very welcome.
- Your old phone.
- my new phone! Aah! Hello? Yes, this is sue.
Why, yes, this is my leap year birthday.
Oh, that's not for you Unless you like it.
- Why? Is it a clue? - oh.
Are you whisking me away somewhere? Yes! To The kitchen! For cake! Yay! Aah! Yay! cake.
we got you good.
Hey, sue, it's carly on the phone.
Aah! Carly! hello? How long have you known about this? You haven't said a word all week.
What? Huh.
Here it is.
- patchwork cake.
- I saw this on "cake boss"! Aah! happy birthday to sue Happy Birthday to sue Happy Birthday, dear sue Happy Birthday to sue .
Don't forget to make a wish.
What could I wish for? I got everything I ever wanted.
God bless sue.
As I looked at her blowing out the bathroom candle.
On her patchwork car wash cake, I felt like sometimes I didn't deserve her, But the good thing about having.
Somebody that optimistic in the family.
Is that her optimism rubs off on all of us.
Thanks for helping out tonight, brick.
Hey, how often do you get to eat cake at 4:00 in the morning? Mm.
So you like this girl, huh? Mom.
No, you know, here's the thing.
You liking someone is actually very social, So that's a good thing, And I shouldn't have been so negative about it.
I'm sorry.
I feel like maybe next week she'll bite me.
Here's hopin'.
Yep.
Sue's optimism even rubbed off on Mike.
Hey.
You look like a tough little guy.
Kind of like granite.
Come here, granite.
I get it.
I'm the same way.
Take your time.
Turns out Mike wasn't quite done loving things after all.