King of the Hill s03e23 Episode Script
Wings of the Dope
1 HERE'S $300 CASH FOR MY NEXT SEMESTER, MS.
KREMZER.
COUNT IT-- IT'S ALL THERE.
MM-HMM WELL, THERE'S STILL AN INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED HAIR-DYEING EXAM COMING UP, PLATTER.
YOU'VE GOT TO PASS THA TO EVEN QUALIFY FOR THE FINAL SEMESTER.
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, MS.
KREMZER.
YEAH, SURE.
LOOK, IT'S LUANNE.
IT SURE HAS BEEN A HARD YEAR FOR YOU, LUANNE, WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND BLOWING UP AND LOSING ALL YOUR HAIR AND BEING ON ACADEMIC PROBATION BUT YOU KNOW, IF YOU PASS THIS LAST EXAM IT'LL TURN EVERYTHING AROUND.
( cackling ) SAD.
VERY SAD.
WHAT IS KAHN THINKING? HE BOUGHT THE BEST TRAMPOLINE OF BUCKLEY'S ESTATE AND HE'S LETTING IT GO TO POT.
MAYBE WE OUGHT TO TALK TO KAHN.
THIS IS A FIX-IT OPPORTUNITY THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES.
HEY, I KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO.
BILL, REMEMBER WHEN WE GOT YOU TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH BY SAYING YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW? YEAH REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
YES, IT WILL.
GOTCHA! ( chuckling ) ( sobbing: ) I JUST TOOK A TEST LAST SEMESTER AND NOW I'VE GOT ANOTHER TEST.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
HOW OFTEN IN REAL LIFE ARE YOU TESTED? ( sobbing ) UH, YEAH-- OKAY, THEN.
THE GIRLS AT BEAUTY ACADEMY ARE SO MEAN! ( sobbing ) THEY ARE MEAN.
YOU MADE YOUR POINT, BILL.
WELL, IF YOU GUYS ARE HERE WHO'S GUARDING TRASH CANS IN ALLEY? ( laughing ) SAY, KAHN, WE WERE JUST THINKING WE DON'T WANT TO FIX YOUR TRAMPOLINE.
I DO.
BILL! WHAT? DALE.
GAH! OH! NOW I GET IT.
YOU REDNECKS WANT TO FIX MY TRAMPOLINE BUT WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME? WELL, UH YOU MOW MY LAWN FOR TWO MONTHS.
ALL RIGHT.
( laughing ) ( all laughing ) PLAYED HIM LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE.
EXCELLENT, SHARONA.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW THAT TAIL WAS ATTACHED TO A HORSE'S REAR END I'D SWEAR IT WAS CHER'S.
THANK YOU, MISS KREMZER.
OH, VERY GOOD.
EXCELLENT HIGHLIGHTS.
LUANNE PLATTER.
IT'S NOT FAIR-- MY CUSTOMER KEPT SWATTING FLIES.
STEP AWAY FROM THE HORSE.
HM, CHER'S HAIR IS FAKE ANYHOW.
I AM TOO GOING TO PASS THAT TEST.
WHIP OUT THOSE PLANS.
LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF DRAWING UP SOME SCHEMATICS.
NOW, HERE'S THE TRAMPOLINE THAT IS AND HERE IS THE TRAMPOLINE THAT COULD BE.
( all whoahing ) UH-OH.
I'M ON IT.
HEY, LUANNE, UH YOU LOOK PRETTY TODAY.
RIGHT GUYS? ( all agreeing ) ( sighing ) BUCKLEY.
THIS WAS BUCKLEY'S TRAMPOLINE.
IT WAS HIS FAVORITE ONE.
HE NAMED IT NUMBER ONE.
( sobbing ) ( sighing ) ALL RIGHT, WHERE WERE WE? ( indistinct gabbing ) Dale: WELL, SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S TOO BAD BUCKLEY'S DEAD BUT I SAY THIS TRAMPOLINE SURE IS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
Hank: YEP.
GOOD NIGHT.
Dale: NIGHT, HANK.
Bill: I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
Boomhauer: GOOD NIGHT, MAN.
Dale: BILL.
( sighing ) WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WELL, WHAT? CHICKEN-BUTT.
BUCKLEY! HEY.
PSYCHE.
( chuckling ) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BEING DEAD? ARE YOU AN ANGEL? DON'T WEAR IT OUT.
( both chuckling ) YOU ARE AN ANGEL.
UNLESS YOU'RE JUST A HALLUCINOGEN OF MY MIND.
IF YOU'RE REALLY BUCKLEY'S ANGEL THEN TELL ME SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL BUCKLEY WOULD KNOW.
UH, YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK ON YOUR BUT THE SHAPE OF A HONDA KEY.
YOU ARE A REAL ANGEL.
( melodic guitar intro playing) THE SALVATION ARMY BAND PLAYED AND THE CHILDREN DRUNK LEMONADE AND THE MORNING LASTED ALL DAY ALL DAY AND THROUGH AN OPEN WINDOW IT CAME LIKE SINATRA IN A YOUNGER DAY PUSHING THE TOWN AWAY AH HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA, HEY-OH, HEY-OH HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA, HEY LIFE IN A NORTHERN TOWN HEY, MA-MA-MA-MA ( music fades ) LUANNE, YOU LOOK POSITIVELY RADIANT THIS MORNING.
YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, ARE YOU? MM, DISREGARD.
ALL RIGHT.
SAUSAGE.
ALL RIGHT, SAUSAGE.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
LAST NIGHT, I HAD A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.
IX-NAY, IX-NAY.
OBBY-BAY TOO-YAY OUNG-YAY.
LAST NIGHT, I WAS VISITED BY AN ANGEL-- BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
COOL.
MM-HMM, HE WAS ON THE TRAMPOLINE AND HE SAID TO TELL Y'ALL "HEY.
" I THINK SOMEONE'S BEEN STUDYING A LITTLE TOO HARD FOR HER BEAUTY SCHOOL TEST.
PROBABLY SHARONA JOHNSON.
SHE'S ALWAYS STUDYING-- IT'S NOT FAIR.
ANYWAYS, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL AND ME JUMPED SOME AND THEN, UM MOSTLY WE JUST JUMPED BUT I FEEL BETTER JUST KNOWING HE'S OKAY.
( chuckling: ) AN ANGEL.
ALL RIGHT.
SHE HAS GIVEN ME THE HEEBIEST OF JEEBIES.
THE ANGEL PART, SURE BUT THE WHOLE NOT CRYING THING? I LIKE THAT.
I LIKE THAT A LOT.
I TOLD HER USE PROPER VENTILATION AROUND THOSE HAIR CHEMICALS.
SHE'S PROBABLY JUST STRESSED OUT, PEGGY, BUT IF THIS HELPS HER LET HER THINK WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
SHE SEES BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
NOLAN RYAN SAW HIS ARM AS A ROCKET LAUNCHER AND THE CATCHER'S MITT AS SADDAM HUSSEIN.
DON'T MESS WITH A GOOD THING, PEGGY.
JUST BE COOL.
I'M COOL.
( knocking ) SO, LUANNE, UH THIS ANGEL CERTAINLY SEEMS TO HAVE MADE YOU HAPPY.
OH, YES.
I THINK THAT IT'S A SIGN THAT GOD IS SURE, SURE, RIGHT-- GOD.
I'LL BET GOD SENT YOU THIS GUARDIAN ANGEL.
THIS STAND-ON-YOUR-OWN-TWO-FEET ANGEL.
AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM FROM NOW ON YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRY BECAUSE BUCKLEY'S ANGEL WILL HELP YOU THROUGH YOUR TESTS OR MAYBE FIND AN APARTMENT OR WHATEVER.
OOH.
MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.
YEP FIND AN APARTMENT.
RED ALERT, RED ALERT.
HEY, BOOMHAUER AND MISTER DAUTERIVE AND MISTER GRIBBLE.
( chuckling ) WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL WAS THAT? LUANNE CLAIMS SHE SAW BUCKLEY'S ANGEL LAST NIGHT ON THE TRAMPOLINE.
I CONVINCED HER IT WAS HER GUARDIAN ANGEL AND NOW SHE'S ON AN EVEN KEEL.
I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THIS YEARS AGO.
IT'S LIKE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND I NEVER HAVE TO MEET.
AHH HEY, LOOK IT'S LUANNE, WALKING HER BOOK.
I'M NOT WALKING MY BOOK.
I'M WAITING FOR MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.
BUCKLEY HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO BOUNCE ON HIS TRAMPOLINE AND HELP ME WITH MY EXAM.
( all laughing ) DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? YOU'RE CRAZY.
I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR MYSELF.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL HEARS MYSELF.
WELL, YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL THE HAIR DYE TEST AND FLUNK OUT OF BEAUTY SCHOOL AND HAVE TO WORK AT THE MALL AT THE PRETZEL PLACE AND WE'LL ALL BE FAMOUS HAIRDRESSERS AND WE'LL ALL BE ON THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE MALL WORKING ON THE PEOPLE'S HAIR WHO EAT PRETZELS AT THE PRETZEL PLACE.
( all laughing ) WELL, I'LL JUST SPIT ON YOUR PRETZELS, AND NO, THAT'S OKAY.
I FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE I HAVE A GUARDIAN ANGEL NOW.
EW! BUCKLEY'S ANGEL, CAN YOU PLEASE MELT SHARONA JOHNSON'S FACE? OH, AND HELP ME PASS MY TEST? BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? OKAY, LET'S GET TO IT.
WHAT'S THIS? A NOTE? Bill: OH! TH-THAT'S NOBODY'S.
HANK, GIVE IT BACK.
"DEAR BUCKLEY'S ANGEL, "BRING ME A WOMAN.
"ANY WOMAN.
LOVE, BILL F.
de la T.
DAUTERIVE.
" NOW, NOW, THAT'S BETWEEN ME AND BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
THERE IS NO BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
THERE WAS BARELY A BUCKLEY.
THAT GREASEBALL COULDN'T FIND A HAMMER IN THE MEGA LO MART.
HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY FIND YOU A WOMAN? YOU HAVE YOUR GODS, AND I HAVE MINE.
BILL, SHUT UP.
DALE, LIFT YOUR END.
( screaming ) IT'S A SIGN! WE'VE BEEN PLAYING GOD WITH BUCKLEY'S TRAMPOLINE NOW GOD IS PLAYING GOD WITH US.
AND HE'S A LOT BETTER AT IT.
I REFUSE TO TOUCH THIS PORTHOLE TO HELL.
( sighs ) LOOK, WE GOT A PROJECT GOING ON AND BOOMHAUER AND I ARE THE ONLY SANE ONES AROUND HERE.
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
YOU KNOW, HAD A NOTHING BUT TIME A LITTLE OFF, MAN I BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR HOURS, MAN AND BUCKLEY WALK UP AND JUST TOUCH THE HOOD.
JUST TOUCHES THE HOOD, MAN.
THAT DODGE WAS HEALED, MAN.
"YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH" MAN, I DON'T TAKE NO I AM THIS CLOSE TO FIXING THE TRAMPOLINE MYSELF.
NO, NO, NO-- DON'T TOUCH I OR THE ANGEL WON'T COME BACK AND I'LL BE ALONE FOREVER.
HOO-WEE.
IT IS A HOT ONE, TODAY, HUH? SO MINH HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANY RELIGIOUS VISIONS? THIS ABOUT BUCKLEY'S ANGEL, HUH, PEGGY HILL? YOU KNOW? NOT TOO MUCH HAPPEN IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHEN SOMEONE COMES BACK FROM DEAD, IT GETS AROUND.
I MEAN, LUANNE IS CLEARLY CRAZY.
IF IT WAS A TRUE RELIGIOUS VISION WHY WOULD IT COME TO HER? I WAS HOME.
UH-HUH.
I MEAN, I HAVE HAD MY CLOSE CALLS.
ONE TIME, I HEARD A VOICE SAY, "JESUS IS LOVE" RIGHT IN MY EAR BUT THEN, WHEN I TURNED OFF THE HAIR DRYER IT WAS SUDDENLY GONE.
Luanne: AMEN.
AMEN.
AMEN.
Dale: RUN, HANK! PORTHOLE TO HELL! ( frustrated sigh ) LUANNE'S GOT EVERYBODY GOING ANGEL CRAZY, PEGGY.
OH, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE HEARING "JESUS IS LOVE" AGAIN.
( gasping ): JESUS IS LOVE.
SO, STUDYING FOR YOUR BIG, UH HAIR TEST? WELL, I'M WAITING FOR BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT DO FLASH CARDS.
YEAH.
OKAY.
WELL, I'M SURE, WITH HIS HELP, YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
YOU'LL PASS THE TEST AND HE'LL HAVE FINISHED HIS GOOD DEED AND THERE'LL BE NO NEED FOR HIM TO COME BACK TO EARTH AGAIN.
AND IF YOU DO SEE BUCKLEY'S ANGEL AGAIN IT'LL ACTUALLY BE AN EVIL ANGEL OF DEATH.
I DIDN'T MAKE UP THE RULES.
IT'S IN THE BIBLE.
GOOD LUCK, NOW.
( sniffling ) WHERE IS HE? BUCKLEY ALWAYS DID THIS TO ME.
ONE TIME, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE COLOR ME BADD AND HE NEVER SHOWED UP.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT CONCERT ALL WEEK AND WHEN I TOLD HIM HE JUST SAID, "CHICKEN BEAK.
" HE BETTER NOT BE GUARDIANING SOME OTHER GIRL.
MAYBE I SHOULD DROP OUT OF BEAUTY SCHOOL, AUNT PEGGY.
WHAT?! LUANNE, YOU HAVE WANTED TO GO TO BEAUTY SCHOOL SINCE YOU WERE SIX.
YOU HAVE WANTED TO GRADUATE BEAUTY SCHOOL SINCE YOU WERE 12.
IF YOU GIVE UP ON SCHOOL, HONEY, YOU ARE GIVING UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
"EDUCATION IS THE SLEEPING PILL THAT MAKES DREAMS HAPPEN.
" PEGGY HILL.
BUT SCHOOL IS HARD.
I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND SELL PRETZELS.
UH-UH.
NOW YOU HAVE TO REACH DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF AND STOP DEPENDING ON YOUR UNCLE OR YOUR BOYFRIEND OR YOUR BOYFRIEND'S ANGEL.
THIS TIME, IT IS ALL UP TO YOU.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.
I'LL DO IT.
YOU'LL HELP ME, RIGHT? OF COURSE.
( snoring ) ( yawning ) ( gasping ) I DON'T WHY YOU DIDN'T COME, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF TES I'LL HAVE TO TAKE A MAKEUP TES BECAUSE I HAVE A MAKEUP AND A HAIR TEST THIS MORNING.
HEY.
( gasping ) OH, YOU FINALLY SHOWED UP.
THANK YOU, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
THANK YOU.
UH-HUH.
YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL THE TEST.
WHAT?! YEAH, I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM JESUS.
SOMETHING ABOUT HOW YOU SUCK AT BEAUTY SCHOOL EXCEPT WORDED NICER.
UH, HERE UH "LUANNE, YOU REALLY SUCK AT BEAUTY SCHOOL.
"DROP OUT.
LOVE, JESUS.
" HUH.
HE UNDERLINED "REALLY.
" I GUESS IT WASN'T NICER.
I THOUGHT ANGELS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD.
YOU'RE A TERRIBLE ANGEL, BUCKLEY.
I WISH YOU NEVER DIED.
HEY, JESUS SAID IT, NOT ME.
YOU ARE MEAN.
JUST LIKE WHEN YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND.
BUT I HAVE FAITH IN ME AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE TRAILER TRASH.
I'M GOING TO GRADUATE AND I'M GOING TO DO MAKEUPS AND I'M GOING TO HAVE THE BIGGEST TRUCK IN HOLLYWOOD! JESUS SAYS YOU'RE MEANT FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
HE CAN'T SAY WHAT.
WELL, Y'ALL ARE WRONG.
I'M MEANT FOR BEAUTY SCHOOL.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH! NUH-UH! YES! ( both screaming ) BAIL! ( horn honks ) OH, MY GOSH.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I THINK I'M OKAY.
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING AND AND I WAS SO TIRED.
AND I WAS DRIVING AND NOW I'M DO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN? YES, VERY MUCH.
( gasping ) OH, LOOK-- I LOOK TERRIBLE.
AND I HAVE TO TAKE A TEST.
SO? LOOKS ARE TEN PERCENT OF THE GRADE.
LOOKS? WELL, WHAT CLASS ARE YOU TAKING? I BET IT'S STATISTICS WITH PROFESSOR RUTLEDGE.
HE'S SUCH A PIG.
NO, IT'S HAIR COLORING WITH MS.
KREM WAIT WAIT YOU THOUGH THAT I WAS IN SCHOOL WITH YOU? IN COLLEGE? YEAH, WHY NOT? YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? YEAH, 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT TO GO WATCH SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER FOR OUR AMERICAN CULTURES CLASS.
YEAH, I'M OKAY.
WELL, GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TEST.
HEY, LUANNE, WHERE'S YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL? PARKING THE CAR? ( derisive laughter ) ALL RIGHT, LET'S BEGIN.
GLOVES ON.
( humming ) SO, UH ANY ANGEL SIGHTINGS THIS EVENING? Dale: NO, NOT YET.
OOPS.
WELL, NOW, WHAT'S THIS? HUH.
IT'S A LETTER.
"FROM THE DESK OF BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
" ( gasping ) LET'S SEE HERE-- "DEAR BILL, BOOMHAUER AND DALE "I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND A WOMAN FOR BILL.
"ANY WOMAN.
"OR A CRANKSHAFT FROM A 1968 DODGE.
"AND THE PORTHOLE TO HELL IS ACTUALLY LOCATED "IN HANK'S GARAGE, NEAR ALL OF HIS TOOLS "WHICH SHOULD BE AVOIDED BY ANYONE AFRAID OF THE PORTHOLE TO HELL.
" WELL, THAT'S THAT.
GOOD-BYE, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
GOOD-BYE, BUCKLEY'S ANG HOLD THE PHONE.
LET ME SEE THAT LETTER.
( mumbling ) ( gasping ) THAT'S NOT BUCKLEY'S HANDWRITING.
HANK! ( all mumbling ) B B BUT GOOD.
NOW, I BELIEVE WE HAVE A TRAMPOLINE TO FIX.
I GUESS I COULD PITCH IN A LITTLE BIT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
( excited giggles ) GUESS WHAT? YOU ACED THE EXAM.
I KNEW IT.
OH! CONGRATULATIONS, LUANNE.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
EVEN BETTER, AUNT PEGGY.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL CAME BACK AND THEN I ALMOST HIT A WIENER WAGON BUT FIRST, BUCKLEY SAID JESUS SAID I WAS MEANT FOR SOMETHING ELSE AND I THOUGHT JESUS MEANT SOMETHING WORSE AND THEN I REMEMBERED YOU TELLING ME NOT TO GIVE UP ON MY DREAMS.
AND I REALIZED THAT HE MEANT SOMETHING BETTER.
AND I GOT MY TUITION REFUND FROM MS.
KREMZER AND ENROLLED AT ARLEN COMMUNITY COLLEGE JUST LIKE JESUS SAID.
( giggles and screams ) COLLEGE? REAL COLLEGE? OH, LUANNE, YOU ARE DREAMING WITH THE BIG BOYS NOW.
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! ( chuckling ): LUANNE, WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
I MEAN WOW.
BUT YOU'LL BE MOVING INTO A DORM.
ALL OF OUR DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE.
( chuckling ) UM, WELL, UNCLE HANK, WITH TUITION AND BOOKS AND BACK-TO-SCHOOL CLOTHES I CAN'T AFFORD TO MOVE OUT NOW.
WELL I GUESS AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN SCHOOL BETTERING YOURSELF AND WHATNOT THANK YOU, UNCLE HANK.
DON'T THANK ME HUG YOUR AUNT PEGGY.
I'M GOING TO START OUT AS A LIBERAL ARTIST.
I MIGHT EVEN GO PRE-MED.
IT'S REALLY THE SAME AS HUH.
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A WIENER WAGON STOPPING IN ARLEN.
OBVIOUSLY NOT OR YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME.
HEY.
( gasping ) UH I JUST CAME BACK TO SAY I'M SORRY I BAILED OUT OF THE CAR.
I KNEW YOU WEREN'T REALLY A JERK.
YEAH.
WELL, UH I GOT TO GO.
JESUS IS HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT.
IT'S GONNA ROCK.
THERE'LL PROBABLY BE A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE BUT IF YOU SEE JESUS TELL HIM I SAID THANKS.
GOOD-BYE, BUCKLEY.
BEFORE I GO UM COULD I HAVE ONE LAST KISS? MM-HMM.
( gasping ) NO THAT PART'S OVER.
WHY? CHICKEN THIGH.
( "Life in a Northern Town" playing ) OH, HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA ( chanting ) HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA HEY, AH LIFE IN A NORTHERN TOWN OH, HEY, MA-MA-MA-MA HEY NEW RECORD.
COOL.
( music continues ) HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA ( chanting ) HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA HEY, AH OH, HEY, MA-MA-MA-MA.
Kahn ( quietly ): BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? HMM.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? I AM SO ALONE.
I HAVE TO COMMUTE TO HOUSTON EVERY DAY.
THAT CITY ONE BIG STINK HOLE.
DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? OH BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? WHY YOU NOT COME TO ME INSTEAD OF THAT REDNECK LITTLE HOT POTATO? OH, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL! NOW! COME RIGHT NOW! Buckley: HEY.
KREMZER.
COUNT IT-- IT'S ALL THERE.
MM-HMM WELL, THERE'S STILL AN INCREDIBLY COMPLICATED HAIR-DYEING EXAM COMING UP, PLATTER.
YOU'VE GOT TO PASS THA TO EVEN QUALIFY FOR THE FINAL SEMESTER.
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, MS.
KREMZER.
YEAH, SURE.
LOOK, IT'S LUANNE.
IT SURE HAS BEEN A HARD YEAR FOR YOU, LUANNE, WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND BLOWING UP AND LOSING ALL YOUR HAIR AND BEING ON ACADEMIC PROBATION BUT YOU KNOW, IF YOU PASS THIS LAST EXAM IT'LL TURN EVERYTHING AROUND.
( cackling ) SAD.
VERY SAD.
WHAT IS KAHN THINKING? HE BOUGHT THE BEST TRAMPOLINE OF BUCKLEY'S ESTATE AND HE'S LETTING IT GO TO POT.
MAYBE WE OUGHT TO TALK TO KAHN.
THIS IS A FIX-IT OPPORTUNITY THAT ONLY HAPPENS IN THE MOVIES.
HEY, I KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO.
BILL, REMEMBER WHEN WE GOT YOU TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH BY SAYING YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW? YEAH REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY.
THAT'LL NEVER WORK.
YES, IT WILL.
GOTCHA! ( chuckling ) ( sobbing: ) I JUST TOOK A TEST LAST SEMESTER AND NOW I'VE GOT ANOTHER TEST.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
HOW OFTEN IN REAL LIFE ARE YOU TESTED? ( sobbing ) UH, YEAH-- OKAY, THEN.
THE GIRLS AT BEAUTY ACADEMY ARE SO MEAN! ( sobbing ) THEY ARE MEAN.
YOU MADE YOUR POINT, BILL.
WELL, IF YOU GUYS ARE HERE WHO'S GUARDING TRASH CANS IN ALLEY? ( laughing ) SAY, KAHN, WE WERE JUST THINKING WE DON'T WANT TO FIX YOUR TRAMPOLINE.
I DO.
BILL! WHAT? DALE.
GAH! OH! NOW I GET IT.
YOU REDNECKS WANT TO FIX MY TRAMPOLINE BUT WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME? WELL, UH YOU MOW MY LAWN FOR TWO MONTHS.
ALL RIGHT.
( laughing ) ( all laughing ) PLAYED HIM LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE.
EXCELLENT, SHARONA.
IF I DIDN'T KNOW THAT TAIL WAS ATTACHED TO A HORSE'S REAR END I'D SWEAR IT WAS CHER'S.
THANK YOU, MISS KREMZER.
OH, VERY GOOD.
EXCELLENT HIGHLIGHTS.
LUANNE PLATTER.
IT'S NOT FAIR-- MY CUSTOMER KEPT SWATTING FLIES.
STEP AWAY FROM THE HORSE.
HM, CHER'S HAIR IS FAKE ANYHOW.
I AM TOO GOING TO PASS THAT TEST.
WHIP OUT THOSE PLANS.
LET'S GO, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
I'VE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF DRAWING UP SOME SCHEMATICS.
NOW, HERE'S THE TRAMPOLINE THAT IS AND HERE IS THE TRAMPOLINE THAT COULD BE.
( all whoahing ) UH-OH.
I'M ON IT.
HEY, LUANNE, UH YOU LOOK PRETTY TODAY.
RIGHT GUYS? ( all agreeing ) ( sighing ) BUCKLEY.
THIS WAS BUCKLEY'S TRAMPOLINE.
IT WAS HIS FAVORITE ONE.
HE NAMED IT NUMBER ONE.
( sobbing ) ( sighing ) ALL RIGHT, WHERE WERE WE? ( indistinct gabbing ) Dale: WELL, SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S TOO BAD BUCKLEY'S DEAD BUT I SAY THIS TRAMPOLINE SURE IS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL.
Hank: YEP.
GOOD NIGHT.
Dale: NIGHT, HANK.
Bill: I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
Boomhauer: GOOD NIGHT, MAN.
Dale: BILL.
( sighing ) WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WELL, WHAT? CHICKEN-BUTT.
BUCKLEY! HEY.
PSYCHE.
( chuckling ) WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU BEING DEAD? ARE YOU AN ANGEL? DON'T WEAR IT OUT.
( both chuckling ) YOU ARE AN ANGEL.
UNLESS YOU'RE JUST A HALLUCINOGEN OF MY MIND.
IF YOU'RE REALLY BUCKLEY'S ANGEL THEN TELL ME SOMETHING ONLY THE REAL BUCKLEY WOULD KNOW.
UH, YOU HAVE A BIRTHMARK ON YOUR BUT THE SHAPE OF A HONDA KEY.
YOU ARE A REAL ANGEL.
( melodic guitar intro playing) THE SALVATION ARMY BAND PLAYED AND THE CHILDREN DRUNK LEMONADE AND THE MORNING LASTED ALL DAY ALL DAY AND THROUGH AN OPEN WINDOW IT CAME LIKE SINATRA IN A YOUNGER DAY PUSHING THE TOWN AWAY AH HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA, HEY-OH, HEY-OH HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA, HEY LIFE IN A NORTHERN TOWN HEY, MA-MA-MA-MA ( music fades ) LUANNE, YOU LOOK POSITIVELY RADIANT THIS MORNING.
YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, ARE YOU? MM, DISREGARD.
ALL RIGHT.
SAUSAGE.
ALL RIGHT, SAUSAGE.
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE.
LAST NIGHT, I HAD A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE.
IX-NAY, IX-NAY.
OBBY-BAY TOO-YAY OUNG-YAY.
LAST NIGHT, I WAS VISITED BY AN ANGEL-- BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
COOL.
MM-HMM, HE WAS ON THE TRAMPOLINE AND HE SAID TO TELL Y'ALL "HEY.
" I THINK SOMEONE'S BEEN STUDYING A LITTLE TOO HARD FOR HER BEAUTY SCHOOL TEST.
PROBABLY SHARONA JOHNSON.
SHE'S ALWAYS STUDYING-- IT'S NOT FAIR.
ANYWAYS, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL AND ME JUMPED SOME AND THEN, UM MOSTLY WE JUST JUMPED BUT I FEEL BETTER JUST KNOWING HE'S OKAY.
( chuckling: ) AN ANGEL.
ALL RIGHT.
SHE HAS GIVEN ME THE HEEBIEST OF JEEBIES.
THE ANGEL PART, SURE BUT THE WHOLE NOT CRYING THING? I LIKE THAT.
I LIKE THAT A LOT.
I TOLD HER USE PROPER VENTILATION AROUND THOSE HAIR CHEMICALS.
SHE'S PROBABLY JUST STRESSED OUT, PEGGY, BUT IF THIS HELPS HER LET HER THINK WHATEVER SHE WANTS.
SHE SEES BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
NOLAN RYAN SAW HIS ARM AS A ROCKET LAUNCHER AND THE CATCHER'S MITT AS SADDAM HUSSEIN.
DON'T MESS WITH A GOOD THING, PEGGY.
JUST BE COOL.
I'M COOL.
( knocking ) SO, LUANNE, UH THIS ANGEL CERTAINLY SEEMS TO HAVE MADE YOU HAPPY.
OH, YES.
I THINK THAT IT'S A SIGN THAT GOD IS SURE, SURE, RIGHT-- GOD.
I'LL BET GOD SENT YOU THIS GUARDIAN ANGEL.
THIS STAND-ON-YOUR-OWN-TWO-FEET ANGEL.
AND IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM FROM NOW ON YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRY BECAUSE BUCKLEY'S ANGEL WILL HELP YOU THROUGH YOUR TESTS OR MAYBE FIND AN APARTMENT OR WHATEVER.
OOH.
MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.
YEP FIND AN APARTMENT.
RED ALERT, RED ALERT.
HEY, BOOMHAUER AND MISTER DAUTERIVE AND MISTER GRIBBLE.
( chuckling ) WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL WAS THAT? LUANNE CLAIMS SHE SAW BUCKLEY'S ANGEL LAST NIGHT ON THE TRAMPOLINE.
I CONVINCED HER IT WAS HER GUARDIAN ANGEL AND NOW SHE'S ON AN EVEN KEEL.
I SHOULD'VE THOUGHT OF THIS YEARS AGO.
IT'S LIKE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND I NEVER HAVE TO MEET.
AHH HEY, LOOK IT'S LUANNE, WALKING HER BOOK.
I'M NOT WALKING MY BOOK.
I'M WAITING FOR MY GUARDIAN ANGEL.
BUCKLEY HAS COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO BOUNCE ON HIS TRAMPOLINE AND HELP ME WITH MY EXAM.
( all laughing ) DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF? YOU'RE CRAZY.
I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR MYSELF.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL HEARS MYSELF.
WELL, YOU ARE GOING TO FAIL THE HAIR DYE TEST AND FLUNK OUT OF BEAUTY SCHOOL AND HAVE TO WORK AT THE MALL AT THE PRETZEL PLACE AND WE'LL ALL BE FAMOUS HAIRDRESSERS AND WE'LL ALL BE ON THE THIRD FLOOR OF THE MALL WORKING ON THE PEOPLE'S HAIR WHO EAT PRETZELS AT THE PRETZEL PLACE.
( all laughing ) WELL, I'LL JUST SPIT ON YOUR PRETZELS, AND NO, THAT'S OKAY.
I FORGIVE YOU BECAUSE I HAVE A GUARDIAN ANGEL NOW.
EW! BUCKLEY'S ANGEL, CAN YOU PLEASE MELT SHARONA JOHNSON'S FACE? OH, AND HELP ME PASS MY TEST? BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? OKAY, LET'S GET TO IT.
WHAT'S THIS? A NOTE? Bill: OH! TH-THAT'S NOBODY'S.
HANK, GIVE IT BACK.
"DEAR BUCKLEY'S ANGEL, "BRING ME A WOMAN.
"ANY WOMAN.
LOVE, BILL F.
de la T.
DAUTERIVE.
" NOW, NOW, THAT'S BETWEEN ME AND BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
THERE IS NO BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
THERE WAS BARELY A BUCKLEY.
THAT GREASEBALL COULDN'T FIND A HAMMER IN THE MEGA LO MART.
HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY FIND YOU A WOMAN? YOU HAVE YOUR GODS, AND I HAVE MINE.
BILL, SHUT UP.
DALE, LIFT YOUR END.
( screaming ) IT'S A SIGN! WE'VE BEEN PLAYING GOD WITH BUCKLEY'S TRAMPOLINE NOW GOD IS PLAYING GOD WITH US.
AND HE'S A LOT BETTER AT IT.
I REFUSE TO TOUCH THIS PORTHOLE TO HELL.
( sighs ) LOOK, WE GOT A PROJECT GOING ON AND BOOMHAUER AND I ARE THE ONLY SANE ONES AROUND HERE.
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
YOU KNOW, HAD A NOTHING BUT TIME A LITTLE OFF, MAN I BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR HOURS, MAN AND BUCKLEY WALK UP AND JUST TOUCH THE HOOD.
JUST TOUCHES THE HOOD, MAN.
THAT DODGE WAS HEALED, MAN.
"YEA, THOUGH I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH" MAN, I DON'T TAKE NO I AM THIS CLOSE TO FIXING THE TRAMPOLINE MYSELF.
NO, NO, NO-- DON'T TOUCH I OR THE ANGEL WON'T COME BACK AND I'LL BE ALONE FOREVER.
HOO-WEE.
IT IS A HOT ONE, TODAY, HUH? SO MINH HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANY RELIGIOUS VISIONS? THIS ABOUT BUCKLEY'S ANGEL, HUH, PEGGY HILL? YOU KNOW? NOT TOO MUCH HAPPEN IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.
WHEN SOMEONE COMES BACK FROM DEAD, IT GETS AROUND.
I MEAN, LUANNE IS CLEARLY CRAZY.
IF IT WAS A TRUE RELIGIOUS VISION WHY WOULD IT COME TO HER? I WAS HOME.
UH-HUH.
I MEAN, I HAVE HAD MY CLOSE CALLS.
ONE TIME, I HEARD A VOICE SAY, "JESUS IS LOVE" RIGHT IN MY EAR BUT THEN, WHEN I TURNED OFF THE HAIR DRYER IT WAS SUDDENLY GONE.
Luanne: AMEN.
AMEN.
AMEN.
Dale: RUN, HANK! PORTHOLE TO HELL! ( frustrated sigh ) LUANNE'S GOT EVERYBODY GOING ANGEL CRAZY, PEGGY.
OH, DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE HEARING "JESUS IS LOVE" AGAIN.
( gasping ): JESUS IS LOVE.
SO, STUDYING FOR YOUR BIG, UH HAIR TEST? WELL, I'M WAITING FOR BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
I THOUGHT WE MIGHT DO FLASH CARDS.
YEAH.
OKAY.
WELL, I'M SURE, WITH HIS HELP, YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.
YOU'LL PASS THE TEST AND HE'LL HAVE FINISHED HIS GOOD DEED AND THERE'LL BE NO NEED FOR HIM TO COME BACK TO EARTH AGAIN.
AND IF YOU DO SEE BUCKLEY'S ANGEL AGAIN IT'LL ACTUALLY BE AN EVIL ANGEL OF DEATH.
I DIDN'T MAKE UP THE RULES.
IT'S IN THE BIBLE.
GOOD LUCK, NOW.
( sniffling ) WHERE IS HE? BUCKLEY ALWAYS DID THIS TO ME.
ONE TIME, WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE COLOR ME BADD AND HE NEVER SHOWED UP.
I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT CONCERT ALL WEEK AND WHEN I TOLD HIM HE JUST SAID, "CHICKEN BEAK.
" HE BETTER NOT BE GUARDIANING SOME OTHER GIRL.
MAYBE I SHOULD DROP OUT OF BEAUTY SCHOOL, AUNT PEGGY.
WHAT?! LUANNE, YOU HAVE WANTED TO GO TO BEAUTY SCHOOL SINCE YOU WERE SIX.
YOU HAVE WANTED TO GRADUATE BEAUTY SCHOOL SINCE YOU WERE 12.
IF YOU GIVE UP ON SCHOOL, HONEY, YOU ARE GIVING UP ON YOUR DREAMS.
"EDUCATION IS THE SLEEPING PILL THAT MAKES DREAMS HAPPEN.
" PEGGY HILL.
BUT SCHOOL IS HARD.
I SHOULD JUST GIVE UP AND SELL PRETZELS.
UH-UH.
NOW YOU HAVE TO REACH DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF AND STOP DEPENDING ON YOUR UNCLE OR YOUR BOYFRIEND OR YOUR BOYFRIEND'S ANGEL.
THIS TIME, IT IS ALL UP TO YOU.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.
I'LL DO IT.
YOU'LL HELP ME, RIGHT? OF COURSE.
( snoring ) ( yawning ) ( gasping ) I DON'T WHY YOU DIDN'T COME, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
IF THIS IS SOME KIND OF TES I'LL HAVE TO TAKE A MAKEUP TES BECAUSE I HAVE A MAKEUP AND A HAIR TEST THIS MORNING.
HEY.
( gasping ) OH, YOU FINALLY SHOWED UP.
THANK YOU, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
THANK YOU.
UH-HUH.
YOU'RE GOING TO FAIL THE TEST.
WHAT?! YEAH, I HAVE A MESSAGE FROM JESUS.
SOMETHING ABOUT HOW YOU SUCK AT BEAUTY SCHOOL EXCEPT WORDED NICER.
UH, HERE UH "LUANNE, YOU REALLY SUCK AT BEAUTY SCHOOL.
"DROP OUT.
LOVE, JESUS.
" HUH.
HE UNDERLINED "REALLY.
" I GUESS IT WASN'T NICER.
I THOUGHT ANGELS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD.
YOU'RE A TERRIBLE ANGEL, BUCKLEY.
I WISH YOU NEVER DIED.
HEY, JESUS SAID IT, NOT ME.
YOU ARE MEAN.
JUST LIKE WHEN YOU WERE MY BOYFRIEND.
BUT I HAVE FAITH IN ME AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE TRAILER TRASH.
I'M GOING TO GRADUATE AND I'M GOING TO DO MAKEUPS AND I'M GOING TO HAVE THE BIGGEST TRUCK IN HOLLYWOOD! JESUS SAYS YOU'RE MEANT FOR SOMETHING ELSE.
HE CAN'T SAY WHAT.
WELL, Y'ALL ARE WRONG.
I'M MEANT FOR BEAUTY SCHOOL.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH.
NUH-UH.
UH-HUH! NUH-UH! YES! ( both screaming ) BAIL! ( horn honks ) OH, MY GOSH.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? I THINK I'M OKAY.
I WAS UP ALL NIGHT STUDYING AND AND I WAS SO TIRED.
AND I WAS DRIVING AND NOW I'M DO YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN? YES, VERY MUCH.
( gasping ) OH, LOOK-- I LOOK TERRIBLE.
AND I HAVE TO TAKE A TEST.
SO? LOOKS ARE TEN PERCENT OF THE GRADE.
LOOKS? WELL, WHAT CLASS ARE YOU TAKING? I BET IT'S STATISTICS WITH PROFESSOR RUTLEDGE.
HE'S SUCH A PIG.
NO, IT'S HAIR COLORING WITH MS.
KREM WAIT WAIT YOU THOUGH THAT I WAS IN SCHOOL WITH YOU? IN COLLEGE? YEAH, WHY NOT? YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY? YEAH, 'CAUSE WE'VE GOT TO GO WATCH SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER FOR OUR AMERICAN CULTURES CLASS.
YEAH, I'M OKAY.
WELL, GOOD LUCK ON YOUR TEST.
HEY, LUANNE, WHERE'S YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL? PARKING THE CAR? ( derisive laughter ) ALL RIGHT, LET'S BEGIN.
GLOVES ON.
( humming ) SO, UH ANY ANGEL SIGHTINGS THIS EVENING? Dale: NO, NOT YET.
OOPS.
WELL, NOW, WHAT'S THIS? HUH.
IT'S A LETTER.
"FROM THE DESK OF BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
" ( gasping ) LET'S SEE HERE-- "DEAR BILL, BOOMHAUER AND DALE "I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO FIND A WOMAN FOR BILL.
"ANY WOMAN.
"OR A CRANKSHAFT FROM A 1968 DODGE.
"AND THE PORTHOLE TO HELL IS ACTUALLY LOCATED "IN HANK'S GARAGE, NEAR ALL OF HIS TOOLS "WHICH SHOULD BE AVOIDED BY ANYONE AFRAID OF THE PORTHOLE TO HELL.
" WELL, THAT'S THAT.
GOOD-BYE, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL.
GOOD-BYE, BUCKLEY'S ANG HOLD THE PHONE.
LET ME SEE THAT LETTER.
( mumbling ) ( gasping ) THAT'S NOT BUCKLEY'S HANDWRITING.
HANK! ( all mumbling ) B B BUT GOOD.
NOW, I BELIEVE WE HAVE A TRAMPOLINE TO FIX.
I GUESS I COULD PITCH IN A LITTLE BIT.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
( excited giggles ) GUESS WHAT? YOU ACED THE EXAM.
I KNEW IT.
OH! CONGRATULATIONS, LUANNE.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
EVEN BETTER, AUNT PEGGY.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL CAME BACK AND THEN I ALMOST HIT A WIENER WAGON BUT FIRST, BUCKLEY SAID JESUS SAID I WAS MEANT FOR SOMETHING ELSE AND I THOUGHT JESUS MEANT SOMETHING WORSE AND THEN I REMEMBERED YOU TELLING ME NOT TO GIVE UP ON MY DREAMS.
AND I REALIZED THAT HE MEANT SOMETHING BETTER.
AND I GOT MY TUITION REFUND FROM MS.
KREMZER AND ENROLLED AT ARLEN COMMUNITY COLLEGE JUST LIKE JESUS SAID.
( giggles and screams ) COLLEGE? REAL COLLEGE? OH, LUANNE, YOU ARE DREAMING WITH THE BIG BOYS NOW.
THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE! ( chuckling ): LUANNE, WELL, THAT'S GREAT.
I MEAN WOW.
BUT YOU'LL BE MOVING INTO A DORM.
ALL OF OUR DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE.
( chuckling ) UM, WELL, UNCLE HANK, WITH TUITION AND BOOKS AND BACK-TO-SCHOOL CLOTHES I CAN'T AFFORD TO MOVE OUT NOW.
WELL I GUESS AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN SCHOOL BETTERING YOURSELF AND WHATNOT THANK YOU, UNCLE HANK.
DON'T THANK ME HUG YOUR AUNT PEGGY.
I'M GOING TO START OUT AS A LIBERAL ARTIST.
I MIGHT EVEN GO PRE-MED.
IT'S REALLY THE SAME AS HUH.
I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A WIENER WAGON STOPPING IN ARLEN.
OBVIOUSLY NOT OR YOU WOULD HAVE TAKEN ME.
HEY.
( gasping ) UH I JUST CAME BACK TO SAY I'M SORRY I BAILED OUT OF THE CAR.
I KNEW YOU WEREN'T REALLY A JERK.
YEAH.
WELL, UH I GOT TO GO.
JESUS IS HAVING A PARTY TONIGHT.
IT'S GONNA ROCK.
THERE'LL PROBABLY BE A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE BUT IF YOU SEE JESUS TELL HIM I SAID THANKS.
GOOD-BYE, BUCKLEY.
BEFORE I GO UM COULD I HAVE ONE LAST KISS? MM-HMM.
( gasping ) NO THAT PART'S OVER.
WHY? CHICKEN THIGH.
( "Life in a Northern Town" playing ) OH, HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA ( chanting ) HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA HEY, AH LIFE IN A NORTHERN TOWN OH, HEY, MA-MA-MA-MA HEY NEW RECORD.
COOL.
( music continues ) HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA ( chanting ) HEY-OH, MA-MA-MA HEY, AH OH, HEY, MA-MA-MA-MA.
Kahn ( quietly ): BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? HMM.
BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? I AM SO ALONE.
I HAVE TO COMMUTE TO HOUSTON EVERY DAY.
THAT CITY ONE BIG STINK HOLE.
DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISION, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? OH BUCKLEY'S ANGEL? WHY YOU NOT COME TO ME INSTEAD OF THAT REDNECK LITTLE HOT POTATO? OH, BUCKLEY'S ANGEL! NOW! COME RIGHT NOW! Buckley: HEY.