King of the Hill s04e04 Episode Script

20 BIOLOGY QUIZZES AND NOT ONE SMILEY FACE.
THEIR GRADES ARE PLUMMETING EVEN FASTER THAN I DID WHEN I FELL OUT OF THAT AIRPLANE.
UH, PEGGY, REMEMBER, THE THERAPIST SAID TO GO EASY ON YOUR SPINE.
YOU MAY WANT TO SHORTEN YOUR BACKSWING ON THOSE CHECKMARKS.
HANK, THE BEST THERAPY FOR MY BACK WILL BE LIFTING MY THIRD STRAIGH SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF THE YEAR AWARD HIGH ABOVE MY HEAD IN TRIUMPH.
( groaning ) FALLING FROM THAT PLANE MAY HAVE BROKEN MY SPINE BUT IT COULD NOT BREAK MY TEACHING BONE-- NO, NOT EVEN IF ONE EXISTED.
UH, MOM, I THINK YOU'RE USING MARK THE BIO TESTS.
OH! UM, WELL, YES.
OH, I AM NOT USED TO TEACHING SO MUCH NON-SPANISH.
COME ON, PEGGY HILL, ROOKIE MISTAKE.
GET IT TOGETHER.
UH-OH.
I DON'T HAVE THE BIO ANSWER KEY.
BOBBY, FIND ME A FROG.
Hank: UH-HUH.
WELL, I WOULD SUGGEST YOU BLEED OUT THE EXCESS PRESSURE IN THE BYPASS LINE BECAUSE, IF YOU DON'T HAVE Strickland: IS THAT A BUSINESS CALL, HANK? UH, NOT STRICTLY, NO.
HANK, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK A DAY OFF? WELL, I TOOK A DAY OFF WHEN BOBBY WAS BORN BUT I WASN'T REALLY SICK.
I MEANT TO TELL YOU.
IT JUST SLIPPED MY MIND.
I DID COME IN THAT SATURDAY.
WHAT?! YOU GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE, HANK.
I'M GETTING SQUEEZED BY SOME INSURANCE COMPANY PENCIL STAIN WHO CLAIMS WORKING TOO LONG WITHOUT A VACATION CAN MAKE YOU SLOPPY AND, WHEN YOU'RE SLOPPY IN THE PROPANE BIZ PEOPLE DIE, AND THEN MY PREMIUMS GO UP.
SLOPPY? I CHALLENGE HIM TO FIND ONE SINGLE MISTAKE WHOA, WHOA, HANK.
JUST TAKE SOME TIME OFF.
SEE YOU IN TWO WEEKS.
COULDN'T I JUST TAKE MY VACATION AT MY DESK? NO! Stereo: 25 or 6 to 4 TEACHING BAND TODAY, ARE YOU? YOU KNOW, AFTER YOU WIN SUBSTITUTE OF THE YEAR THIS TIME THEY MIGHT JUST RENAME IT "THE HILL TROPHY.
" ( chuckling ): OH.
I CAN'T SUGGEST THAT, HANK.
YOU'D HAVE TO SUGGEST THAT.
WELL, I SURE DO HAVE THE TIME.
THIS WHOLE NOT WORKING THING IS GOING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK.
I TELL YOU WHAT-- GOD, THAT'D BE EMBARRASSING.
"HANK HILL: FOUND DEAD NOT WORKING.
" WELL, I WISH I COULD STAY AND HELP BUT, UNTIL THEY INVENT A MACHINE THAT CAN STAND IN FRONT OF A BAND AND KEEP THE BEA I AM NEEDED.
YEP.
YEP.
YEP.
SO WHAT'D YOU GUYS DO? ANY SHAVES TODAY, BILL, OR JUST HAIRCUTS? WELL HOW'S THAT NEW BELT WORKING OUT, BOOMHAUER? DALE, YOU KILL ANY BUGS? DID I! NO.
YEAH! I DID.
IT FELL IN THE BIG JAR OF BLUE STUFF WHERE I KEEP MY COMBS.
WAS IT SMALL LIKE AN ANT OR CRAFTY LIKE A FLY? I'M NOT SURE.
FLY.
OHH! I'D COME BY TOMORROW TO PICK IT UP BUT MY PLATE'S FULL, SITUATION WITH A TERMITE-- POSSIBLY MORE THAN ONE.
TERMITES? WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD USE AN EXTRA SET OF HANDS.
WINGO! BUT YOU GOT TO CHIP IN FOR GAS AND POISON.
HERE IS THE BEAUTY OF TENTING: GROUND ZERO'S OFFICIALLY HOT FOR A WEEK.
IT TAKES TWO DAYS TO SPRAY.
THE REST OF THE TIME, IT'S YOUR OWN PRIVATE PLAYHOUSE.
( chuckling ) GO ON.
TAKE A SPIN ON THE BIDET.
OR DID YOU THINK IT WAS A WATER FOUNTAIN? I DID.
I'M GOING HOME, DALE.
I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE LET MYSELF SI ON A STRANGER'S TOILET LID.
MAN, THIS GUY'S GOT BAD EYESIGHT.
SO TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.
HOW WAS, UH MATH? WE WERE DOING CONVERSIONS ON THE OVERHEAD PROJECTOR AND MRS.
HOSNER ERASED HER MISTAKES WITH SPIT.
OH.
HMPH.
WELL, WHAT'D YOU DO BEFORE MATH? THAT'S MY NEW FAVORITE CLASS-- SHOP.
SHOP? BOBBY, FROM NOW ON, WHEN I ASK, "HOW WAS YOUR DAY?" I MEAN, "HOW WAS SHOP?" OH, IT'S GREAT.
OUR REGULAR TEACHER ELOPED WITH THE LUNCH LADY SO UNTIL THE TWO OF THEM GET BACK FROM BRANSON PRINCIPAL MOSS IS HAVING US USE SHOP AS A STUDY HALL.
WE DON'T HAVE TO MAKE ANYTHING.
WHAT?! HOLD ON, SON.
( groans ) TELL ME AGAIN, SLOWLY.
WHAT HAPPENED TO SHOP? ( sighs ) YOU LOOK SO TIRED, AUNT PEGGY.
IT'S NOT A PRETTY LOOK.
WELL, THERE IS NO REST FOR A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER, LUANNE EXCEPT FOR TEN MINUTES EVERY HOUR AND 45 MINUTES FOR LUNCH.
( groaning ) I'M A PRE-EDUCATION MAJOR.
MAYBE I COULD BE A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER.
( laughing ) OH.
LUANNE, HONEY I WAS NOT LAUGHING AT YOU.
I WAS LAUGHING AT THE IDEA.
I'M SORRY, HANK.
THE SCHOOL BOARD WILL NOT AUTHORIZE THE FUNDING FOR A SUBSTITUTE SHOP TEACHER.
HECK, WE CAN'T EVEN AFFORD TO FIX A DENT IN THE GYM FLOOR WHERE COACH HAD HIS LITTLE FIT.
YOU KNOW, I REMEMBER A FELLA IN MY EIGHTH GRADE SHOP CLASS.
PRETTY HANDY WITH THE COPING SAW, NICE GUY.
HIS NAME WAS CARL MOSS.
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO HIM? GOT MARRIED, HAD KIDS, RESPONSIBILITIES.
THINGS CHANGE, HANK.
WELL, ONE THING HASN'T CHANGED: KIDS NEED SHOP.
WELL, WHO'S GOING TO TEACH THEM? THE ONLY MAN HANDIER WITH A COPING SAW THAN CARL MOSS.
JACK SCHERMER? WHAT?! JACK WAS ALL FLASH.
I COPED CIRCLES AROUND! ME.
I'LL TEACH SHOP, AND I'LL DO IT FOR FREE.
OKAY, HANK, BUT WITH YOUR WIFE ALREADY A SUBSTITUTE TEACHER HERE JUST KEEP THE BITTERNESS AND THE HE SAID-SHE SAID OUT OF MY SCHOOL.
WE HAVE A VERY GOOD MARRIAGE.
THEN I DON'T WANT TO CATCH YOU TWO MAKING OUT IN THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
YOU WON'T! SO, UH, SHOULD I HAVE THE STUDENTS CALL ME MR.
HILL OR HANK? OH, GOOD LORD.
AND I THOUGHT I DODGED A BULLET WHEN LUANNE WANTED TO TEACH.
ARE YOU COMPARING ME TO LUANNE? HANK, SIT DOWN.
I'M GOING TO DO FOR YOU WHAT, AT THE BEGINNING OF MY CAREER, I DID FOR ME-- CREATE A UNIFIED THEORY OF EDUCATION.
NOW, TEACHING CAN BE DIVIDED INTO SEVEN SPECTRAS: THE SALUTATORY, THE ATTENDATORY PEDAGOGARY WAIT.
LET'S SEE.
HOW'S IT GO? UH, WAIT.
SIR ARNOLD PREFERS DINING "D.
" OH! DISCIPLINARIA.
WHICH BRINGS US TO SANITARIA.
UH EVERYBODY LOOKS PRETTY CLEAN.
GUESS WE COULD EMPTY THE TRASH.
( whistling ) ( creaking ) HMM.
( creaking ) UH, SON, COULD YOU STAND UP A MINUTE? COOL.
IS THAT A SWITCHBLADE? NO, UH, IT'S A MULTI-TOOL, BUT IT DOES HAVE A SAW.
WHAT ELSE DOES IT HAVE? WELL, IT HAS A FILE A SERRATED SHEEPS-FOOT BLADE, A LANYARD RING-- YOU KNOW, THE USUAL.
AND FOR OUR PURPOSES NOW, A PHILLIPS HEAD.
HEY, DO THAT THING AGAIN.
WHAT? THIS? HEY, WHAT WERE YOU KIDS WORKING ON BEFORE THEY MADE THIS A STUDY HALL? BIRDHOUSES.
LET'S SEE THEM.
OKAY, JOSEPH.
WELL, I DON'T SEE ANY REASON YOUR FATHER NEEDS TO FIND OUT ABOUT THIS.
YOU KNOW, BIRDS CAN BUILD THEIR OWN HOUSES.
THEY'RE CALLED NESTS.
BUT I'VE NEVER SEEN A BIRD BUILD A BOOMERANG OR A DARTBOARD.
( boys all talking excitedly) OKAY, EVERYONE, PUT ON YOUR GOGGLES.
NOW, REMEMBER, EVERYBODY: GOGGLES MIGHT MAKE YOU LOOK COOL BUT THEY'RE ALSO PART OF PROPER SAFETY ATTIRE.
I HAVE THIS ONE STUDENT, KIND OF A TROUBLEMAKER.
HE LIKES TO LEAVE HIS RABBET PLANE LYING BLADE-DOWN BUT A PROJECT LIKE THIS MINI-FOOSBALL SET MIGHT JUST TURN HIM AROUND.
SO, CAN I ASSUME THAT MY LESSON PLAN GOT AN "A" OR IS YOUR HIGHEST GRADE AN A-PLUS? WELL, ACTUALLY, I WAS HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH THE FILE CARDS, SO, WELL, I KIND OF WINGED IT.
W-WINGED IT? WELL, YOU PROFESSIONAL TEACHERS PROBABLY HAVE A SPECIAL TERM FOR I BUT I JUST FELL BACK ON NATURAL INSTINCT.
IT MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN A PRETTY WIN, BUT I'LL TAKE IT.
HMM.
HUH.
WELL, THAT'S STRANGE.
WE DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A BEVEL GAUGE.
I'LL BET YOU'VE GOT MORE TOOLS THAN THE SCHOOL DOES.
AND I'LL BET THE COST-BENEFIT YAHOO WHO DECIDED THIS SHOP COULD DO WITHOUT A BEVEL GAUGE HAS NEVER EVEN TRIED TO TEST A BEVEL MUCH LESS A CHAMFER.
YEAH.
THE BIG YAHOO.
THAT'S LOOKING GOOD, BOBBY.
JUST REMEMBER TO CLAMP YOUR BUTT JOINT.
( snickering ) OH.
HEH.
I GET IT.
I'M SORRY, DAD.
I JUST, IT'S NO, NO, IT'S OKAY.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
( chuckling ): JOKE'S ON ME.
YOU SHOULD USE A MITER JOINT HERE.
THAT WILL LOOK BETTER.
THAN A? BUTT JOINT.
( snickering ): RIGHT.
OKAY, SON, NOW YOU'RE JUST RUBBING IT IN.
WHEN WE TAKE THE ROSE OUT OF THE LIQUID NITROGEN IT BECOMES AS BRITTLE AS THE MOS DELICATE CRYSTAL WINE GOBLET.
OH-OH! ( chuckling ) OH.
THE EXCITING THING ABOUT THE LAWS OF NATURE IS THAT, WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT.
( grunts ) NICE SANDING, JOSEPH.
BOY, THIS NAPKIN HOLDER IS SMOOTH ENOUGH TO HOLD EVEN THE FINEST NAPKINS.
YOUR MOM'S GOING TO LOVE IT.
YOU SEE THIS IS WHY WE DO SHOP; NOT TO BE MORE POPULAR OR TO GET INTO COLLEGE BUT TO SAND AND DRILL AND CHISEL THINGS FOR OUR MOMS.
WELL, HEY, THERE, PEGGY.
WELCOME TO MY CLASSROOM.
HANK, IT'S "MRS.
PEGGY HILL" IN FRONT OF THE VOTERS OR "TWO-TIME SUBSTITUTE OF THE YEAR" MRS.
HILL.
YES, THAT SOUNDS MORE NATURAL.
DIDN'T YOU HEAR THE BELL RING? IN TWO MINUTES THESE STUDENTS WILL BE TARDY SOMEWHERE.
DID ANYONE SHOW YOU HOW TO FILL OUT A HALL PASS? NO, BUT I MADE MY OWN RUBBER HALL PASS STAMP.
HANK, WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN THAT FALLS INTO THE WRONG HANDS? WELL, I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE A STAMP TO ANSWER THAT, DO YOU? SAY, CARL, I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
I JOTTED DOWN SOME BASIC SUPPLIES WE NEED IN SHOP.
WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY FOR ALL THESE FANCY TEACHING AIDS LIKE "WOOD.
" YOU KNOW, THE CARL MOSS I KNEW WOULDN'T GIVE IT A REST, HANK.
ALL PARENTS CARE ABOUT THESE DAYS IS ZERO-TOLERANCE DRUG POLICIES AND LITERACY.
"WHY CAN'T JOHNNY READ? WHY CAN'T JOHNNY READ"? GOD, THAT GETS OLD.
BUT, CARL SHOP IS THE FOUNDATION OF ALL LEARNING.
AND I TELL YOU WHAT.
A YOUNGSTER WITH A TOOL IN BOTH HANDS HAS NO HANDS LEFT TO DO DRUGS.
THEY'LL JUST PUT THE TOOLS DOWN IF THEY WANT TO DO THE DRUGS BAD ENOUGH.
JOSEPH MUST HAVE USED THE LAST PIECE OF MAPLE FOR HIS NAPKIN HOLDER.
( sighs ) I WONDER IF IT WAS LIKE THIS TEACHING SHOP DURING WORLD WAR II.
I DON'T KNOW.
YOU KNOW WHAT HELPED US WIN THAT WAR? PEOPLE HERE AT HOME MADE DO WITH WHAT THEY HAD.
LIKE, WHEN CLARK'S CHAIR WAS SQUEAKING WE ALL PITCHED IN AND FIXED IT.
AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO NOW.
THIS SCHOOL IS ONE BIG PROJECT WAITING TO BE FIXED.
ANYONE NOTICE THAT BROKEN WINDOW IN THE CHEMISTRY CLASS? WE COULD ALL BRING SOME TOOLS FROM HOME TO FIX THAT WINDOW OR RE-HANG THE LETTERS THAT BLEW OFF THE SCHOOL LAST WINTER.
AND NO ONE'S GOING TO MAKE FUN OF US FOR GOING TO "OM LANDY MIDDLE SCHOOL" NO MORE! OH, YEAH.
YEAH.
"HERE I SIT BROKEN-HEARTED CAME TO" ( groans ) WHO BROUGHT A CORDLESS POWER SANDER? I'M ON IT.
SEE YOU TOMORROW MR.
HILL.
REMEMBER, I CALLED THE DRILL PRESS.
OKAY, THEN, SUZY.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THEY MIGHT LIKE ME.
MORE IMPORTANT, THOUGH, I THINK THEY MIGHT LIKE SHOP.
WELL, THAT'S JUST WONDERFUL, HANK.
BUT REMEMBER, JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE LIKING I DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE LEARNING IT.
HEY, MR.
HILL.
OH, AND P.
S.
WATCH OUT FOR THE BROWN-NOSERS.
IF HISTORY TEACHES US ANYTHING IT IS THAT AN INFORMAL, "PRE-ELECTION VOTE" OR "STRAW POLL," FAVORS THE PROVEN WINNER OR THE "INCUMBENT.
" FOR OUR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF THE YEAR STRAW POLL THE INCUMBENT WOULD BE ME, MRS.
PEGGY WITH-A-"Y" HILL.
WHY SHOULD A STRAW POLL FAVOR THE INCUMBENT? GOOD QUESTION.
MY THEORY IS, VOTING FOR A WINNER IS A WAY FOR YOU TO FEEL MORE POPULAR, TOO.
OKAY, NOW PLEASE PASS YOUR BALLOTS FORWARD SO SHAUN CAN COUNT THEM.
WOW, COOL.
WELL, IF POSSIBLY BURNING OUR RETINAS IS COOL THEN, YES, "COOL.
" OKAY, THANK YOU, SHAUN.
NOW I WILL ANNOUNCE THE RESULTS.
THREE VOTES FOR LARA CROFT, WHOEVER THE HECK THAT IS.
FOUR VOTES UNDECIDED-- OKAY-- FOUR VOTES FOR MRS.
PEGGY HILL-- I THANK YOU-- AND SEVEN VOTES FOR MR.
HANK HILL.
I DON'T HAVE ANY MATH HOMEWORK, HONEST.
WALK WITH ME, BOBBY.
OH, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I MEAN, MOST OF THE STUDENTS WHO WANT TO VOTE FOR HIM DON'T EVEN TAKE SHOP.
DAD HAS VERY GOOD BUZZ.
AND WHAT IS THE WORD ON ME? I THINK YOU'RE SEEN AS MORE OF AN INSIDER; ONE OF THEM.
A SUIT.
YOU KNOW, THEY PLAY, YOU DANCE.
I GOT IT.
OKAY, IF THE LOCKER ROOM'S ALL RE-GROUTED WHY DON'T YOU GO TO THE CAFETERIA AND WORK ON THOSE DIMMER SWITCHES? MR.
HILL, COME QUICK.
SOMETHING'S HAPPENED TO BOBBY.
HANK, I CAUGHT YOUR BOY CARRYING THESE CHISELS AND SCREWDRIVERS AND THIS TOOTHY, POINTY KEYHOLE SAW.
THEY'RE TOOLS, CARL.
YOU USED TO KNOW THAT.
WELL, MAYBE, BUT ACCORDING TO THE SCHOOL BOARD'S ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY ANYTHING THAT CAN BE USED AS A WEAPON IS A WEAPON.
WELL, THAT'S JUST ASININE.
MY HANDS ARE TIED.
IF I SHOWED EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF TOLERANCE WE COULDN'T CALL IT "ZERO TOLERANCE.
" I'M SORRY, HANK.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SUSPEND YOUR BOY.
HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
I TOLD ALL OF MY STUDENTS TO BRING TOOLS IN.
OH, WELL, THAT CUTS DOWN ON THE PAPERWORK.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SUSPEND YOU.
EMILY! ESCORT MR.
HILL OFF SCHOOL GROUNDS.
DON'T YOU TOUCH ME.
( sighs ) KICKED OUT OF WORK, KICKED OUT OF SCHOOL-- THIS IS THE WORST VACATION EVER.
BUBBLES.
GOTCHA.
DAMN ZERO TOLERANCE.
USING A SAW FOR A WEAPON MAKES ABOUT AS MUCH SENSE AS USING A GUN TO CUT A TWO-BY-FOUR.
THAT'S HOW MY DAD BUILT MY TREE HOUSE.
HOW HE CLEANED IT, TOO.
BUREAUCRATS LIKE MOSS DON'T RESPOND TO REASON, HANK.
LET'S TOILET PAPER HIS YARD.
IT'S NOT JUST MOSS.
IT'S THE WHOLE DANG SCHOOL BOARD.
THAT'S GOING TO TAKE A LOT MORE T.
P.
I THINK THEY KEEP IT UNDER THE SINK.
( sighs ) DAD! DAD! CAN WE BORROW YOUR TOOLS? I WANTED TO FINISH THIS CUTTING BOARD FOR MY MOM'S BIRTHDAY.
AND WE'VE GOT NO PLACE TO PUT OUR NAPKINS.
WELL, OKAY, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE TURNS.
I ONLY HAVE THREE CIRCULAR SAWS.
WHAT ABOUT SANDERS? I HAVE ENOUGH SANDERS FOR EVERYONE.
BY NOW, YOU HAVE PROBABLY ALL HEARD ABOUT THE SUSPENSION OF POPULAR SHOP TEACHER, MR.
HILL AND HIS DISQUALIFICATION FOR SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF THE YEAR.
THAT'S SO UNFAIR.
HE LOST HIS JOB.
I COULD NOT AGREE MORE.
AND IN PROTEST, I, PEGGY HILL, HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE MY NAME OFF THE BALLOT.
INSTEAD, I WILL RUN AS MRS.
HANK HILL.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO USE A ROUTER INSTEAD OF THAT POWER DRILL FOR YOUR GREASE MOAT THERE.
CAN WE DO A WHOLE UNIT ON ROUTERS NEXT WEEK IN CLASS? WELL, GOOD IDEA, SUZY, BUT IT'S NOT MY CLASS ANYMORE.
I COULD FIGHT FOR REINSTATEMEN BUT I GOT TO GET BACK TO THE PROPANE GAME ON MONDAY.
( all groan ) BUT THAT SHOULDN'T STOP YOU FROM PURSUING YOUR OWN DREAMS OF WOOD, PLYWOOD, PRESSED FIBERBOARD AND-- IF YOU'VE GOT THE TALENT-- METAL.
YOU SEE, SHOP DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN IN ANY SPECIAL PLACE AS LONG AS IT'S WELL-LIT AND THE OUTLETS ARE GROUNDED BECAUSE SHOP IS BIGGER THAN ANY CLASSROOM OR GARAGE OR STUPID POLICY THAT MAKES TOOLS ILLEGAL.
IT'S IN OUR HEARTS.
OKAY, LET'S SWEEP UP.
HONEY, I CALLED THE SCHOOL.
THEY WILL LET YOU BACK ON SCHOOL GROUNDS JUST FOR THE AWARDS CEREMONY.
WELL, THAT'S TERRIFIC.
I WHICH I TAKE AS A VERY GOOD INDICATION OF MY CHANCES.
LET'S GO.
NOW, BEFORE WE MEET OUR NEW ASSISTANT SWIM COACH I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER OF THIS YEAR'S SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF THE YEAR AWARD.
MRS.
HANK HILL.
WHAT?! OH, WELL OH! GOSH, THANK YOU! WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THA I WOULD WIN THREE YEARS IN A ROW? ( whispers ): HONEY, MY SPEECH.
LOOK, IT'S MR.
HILL.
( applause and cheers ) DO YOU HEAR THAT, HANK? I FELL OUT OF A PLANE AND JUST TWO MONTHS LATER, I HAVE LANDED ON MY FEET.
MM-HMM.
GRACIAS.
I ACCEPT THIS ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER FALLEN OUT OF A PLANE AND LIVED TO WIN HER THIRD-STRAIGHT SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF THE YEAR AWARD.
I AM KING OF THE SCHOOL! WOO-HOO! ( microphone feedback ) Bobby: YEAH, THE BIG YAHOO.