Queer as Folk s04e12 Episode Script

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Shake it, dude.
Cue the pulse to begin Cue the pulse to begin Cue the pulse to begin Cue the pulse to begin He's not getting into more fights, is he? Oh, no, nothing like that.
Hunter has shown remarkable progress.
That's good to hear.
Yes, he's extremely bright.
That runs in the family.
However, he's not the most disciplined student and he has a tendency to be a bit of a Smartass? Runs in the family too.
But, you're to be commended for doing an excellent job.
Ah, thank you, Mrs.
Crowe.
Thank you.
Did you hear that? That's the first time a teacher has ever given me an "excellent".
Excuse us.
Are you Hunter's parents? Yes, that's right.
We're Callie's folks.
Uh, Callie Our kids are seeing one another.
Yes, of course.
The famous Callie.
Steve Leeson.
Amber Morgan-Leeson.
Ben Bruckner.
Michael Novotny-Bruckner.
Hunter always speaks of you both with such admiration.
He does? Well, you know how kids are.
They'll never tell you to your face.
Yeah.
Callie's like a little schoolgirl every time she mentions his name.
She is a schoolgirl.
You should be very proud.
He's a very nice young man.
I think he'd prefer "cool dude".
Listen, uh, we would love to get together with you guys.
That'd be great.
I'll be in touch.
We'll plan an evening.
Terrific.
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
Bye-bye.
How does that feel? It'd be a lot better with poppers.
Try to describe the sensation.
It feels as if someone is rotating my artificial ball.
Please.
You've put on some weight.
I realize to you that's a good thing, to me, it's a disaster.
You can dress now.
So what's the verdict? Are you still experiencing fatigue? Not as much.
How is your sex drive? With both hands on the wheel.
Mm-hm.
Of course, um, we can't be certain that even within a month or a year that the cancer won't reoccur.
But the, uh sonogram and the blood tests show no signs of spreading.
How long till I can resume a normal life, doing recreational drugs and consuming vast amounts of alcohol? Going to the gym? I don't have any problem with some light stretching and mild cardio.
Doc, I'm a fag.
I don't go to the gym to be healthy, I go there to look good.
Light stretching and mild cardio aren't going to cut it.
Brian, you've had cancer.
Your body's been through a series of radiation treatments.
I suggest you take it easy.
Give yourself time to recover.
After all, you're, uh, not 21 any more.
This is a fucking catastrophe.
What the hell happened to Jeffrey Pendergrass? He felt he didn't have the support of certain influential members of the community, and that without their backing, he couldn't successfully meet the goals.
So he took off, with practically every cent we managed to raise.
Bastard! We agreed to pay all his expenses.
Including hotel suite, champagne and the kick-off party at Babylon? Which it barely managed to cover, according to him.
Oh, I guess Brian had his number all along.
Okay, so what do we do now? There's only one thing we can do, cancel the Liberty Ride.
Refund everyone's money.
How can you refund it if you haven't got it? How much are we in the hole? Almost $25,000.
Congratulations, everyone, on being the first charity ride to pedal backwards.
Look, Liberty House is depending on us.
Without this ride, they'll be forced to close their doors.
Then we have no choice but to go ahead with it.
And hope that we find more pledges and sponsors.
It's awfully sweet of you, Teddy, to take me to lunch.
Ah, I figured you could use some cheering up.
I have to admit, it hasn't been easy.
After all, how many times in life do you get to live out a fantasy? You know, have a secret affair with a famous football star? Have him ride your back end three times a week with his rock-hard until your screams of ecstasy fill an entire stadium? To lie there spent, exhausted, insensate? And that's only halftime.
Huh.
Not often.
So what're you in the mood for? I could do with a Chinese chicken salad, and without any more talk of Drew Boyd.
In that case, you may want to avoid major thoroughfares.
All forms of public transportation.
Better shops and department stores.
I'd also stay away from publications such as newspapers and magazines for, uh, oh, a year or so and, uh, don't look up.
Gouge my eyes out now.
Poor thing.
You look absolutely radiant, Mel.
Like a Botticelli Madonna.
I was thinking more like a Ringling Brothers elephant.
This must be the happiest time of your life.
Must be.
Hi, everyone.
Hey, Lindsay.
Sorry I'm late.
Last minute Auerbach sale? You want some fruit punch? I've also got ginger-ale or vanilla soy drink.
I wish they'd lower the drinking age to five.
I could sure use a scotch.
Congratulations on the show at the gallery.
Hey, it's been all over the papers.
It must've been a real thrill, working with a famous artist like Sam Auerbach.
You can't imagine how attentive she was, tending to his every need.
Was that remark really necessary? What remark? You know what remark.
About my attending to his every need.
It's true, isn't it? In fact, I'm surprised you even bothered to come.
Why wouldn't I? Not a man in sight.
Just us dykes.
Look, I told you how sorry I am, that it was a mistake.
Actually you said it was a good thing.
I never said it was a good thing.
That it gave you a chance to contrast and compare, and come to the conclusion that mm, given the choices, you still prefer me.
That part is true.
Well, it isn't true for me.
I know which team I play on.
It's not a choice or a preference.
It's who I am.
It's who I've always been.
A rug-muncher.
A muff-diver.
A cunt-lapper.
A bull.
A lezzie.
A dyke.
What do you think I am? Don't ask me to make up your mind for you.
You have to do that all by yourself.
I'm a lesbian.
Not if you're having sex with a man, honey.
While I'm pregnant, yet.
I don't know which betrayal to never forgive you for first.
Bad timing? No.
We were just having a discussion.
You don't have to explain it to me.
I've had three.
There's nothing like a good pregnancy to turn you into a raving bitch.
This guy Pendergrass skipped town, leaving the center high and dry? That's about the long and short of it.
Yeah, more the short of it, as in cash.
Wonder what happened? What are you looking at me for? It doesn't matter.
We're still going to train and we're still going to ride.
You coming in with us? Brian's doctor cautioned him to take it easy.
Meaning what? Getting laid three times a week instead of four? More like seven instead of nine.
Yeah, some recuperation.
Too bad you can't go with us.
Even if he was in peak condition, I doubt Brian would be donating his backside for charity.
It's not just a charity.
We all know someone, or at least heard of someone, who spent his last days at Liberty House.
Some day, it might be one of us.
Not as long as I'm around.
The point is, we all deserve to die with dignity and a friend by our side.
I'm sure even Brian would agree with that.
See ya.
Bye, Brian.
See ya.
What's up? This big, black S.
U.
V.
's been circling the block.
Keeps stopping in front of the house.
Christ, now it's parking.
So? Well, I don't like it.
I don't like it at all.
You don't suppose Vic had a secret life, do you? You know, like maybe he worked for the CIA or the mafia or some foreign government, and now that he's gone, they decided to rub us out? No.
Well, I have to go to work and I’m afraid to go out there.
You use the back way.
I'll distract them.
Good idea.
But I'm telling Carl about this, just in case.
If you're planning to accost me, you should know, they don't call us screaming faggots for nothing.
And if you're hoping to score, you're going about it all wrong.
Get in.
I don't accept rides from strangers.
Particularly those who don't show up or at least call.
Get in.
Nice oil tanker.
So what brings you to Queersville? My game's been shit.
Mm? Talk to your coach.
I can't sleep.
Take a Xanax.
I'm drinking too much.
Buy more beer nuts.
I miss you.
You do? Can we go to the motel? Yeah.
Um, no.
No, I-I can't go back there.
I thought you love when I fuck you.
I do love when you fuck me.
This isn't the Atkins Diet.
You know, man can't live on meat alone.
At least this man can’t.
All right, we'll go out.
You mean it? Careful.
What if somebody sees us? They can’t.
Remember? You have nice lips, really soft.
Thanks.
You too.
They're the first thing I noticed about you.
Yeah? Yeah.
What was the first thing you noticed about me? Hmm your nose.
You liar.
These.
Did I also mention your really cute ass? Do you have a condom? Huh? A condom.
I know what it is.
Well if you don't, I appropriated some from my brother.
You really want to? Well, don't you? Sure.
It's just that before we do there's something you should know.
I'm positive.
Positive? You mean I have HIV.
Shit.
Are you all right? I'm not sick or anything.
It's just there.
Inside me.
How did you get it? Was it a transfusion? Or from doing drugs? It's okay.
You don't have to tell me.
Does anyone else at school know? Uh, no.
I promise I won't tell anyone.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I guess I better go.
Wait.
My parents won't be home for a couple of hours.
But I thought Well We have these, don't we? As long as we use one, then it's safe, right? I thought we agreed you were going to avoid all major thoroughfares, stores and publications.
I know You have to be strong, Em, okay? Sitting here pining away, sipping ice cream sodas is no solution.
You need to shift your focus.
You're right.
God, I wish there was a meeting you could go to tonight.
Well, I can’t.
Drew is taking me out.
On a real date.
I'm finally going to see something besides the ceiling of room 12 at the Hacienda Motel.
I thought you and he broke up.
He missed me.
Isn't that amazing? This man, who only days ago was in the closet deeper than a lime green leisure suit has decided to go out because, um because of me.
Well, I better get ready.
I'm going to get a manicure and a facial.
And who knows? After, uh, painting the town mauve, we might just end up at Babylon.
Bye, Mel.
You planning on having that baby here? Huh? You've been sitting there since breakfast.
Here's lunch.
Oh, I didn't order this.
I know.
I'm just practicing being a loving, attentive grandma.
Thanks, deb.
Now I'm going to practice being a nosy, meddlesome grandma.
Something wrong, honey? No, it's nothing.
Not with a punim like that.
How do you know that word? You live long enough, everybody's Jewish.
Nothing's wrong with that baby? The baby's okay.
I'm okay.
Nothing to do with that.
It's Lindsay and me.
We're in trouble, deb.
Real trouble.
Stop right there.
I don't want to know.
'Cause whatever it is, doesn't matter.
What matters is, you're about to have a baby.
And that's all that counts.
So it's up to you to make things work.
So you just chew on that, along with your chicken salad, while I grab you a piece of key lime.
As I said, Mr.
Remson, we're a modest facility, tending to the final needs of those for whom medications such as Endovir have proved ineffective, or simply too late.
I count myself among the fortunate ones.
You're doing a hell of a job here.
I'm sure it's not easy.
The hardest part is not being able to do more.
We've already had to send a couple of our sickest clients to the county hospital, simply because we no longer have the staff or capability of tending to their needs.
It's a shame.
It's money.
State funding has been reduced.
Private donations have all but dried up, due to the misconception that no one dies of AIDS any more.
Well, I hope you manage to find the necessary funds.
It may be too late for that.
Like our clients, we're running out of time.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to work.
There are only two of us.
I suppose you're going to hit me up now.
And after what I’ve just seen, it's going to be very hard to say no.
It's a worthy cause.
They're all worthy causes.
All I'm asking is for you to sponsor one rider in the Liberty Ride.
That's it? That's it.
Well, I suppose we can handle that.
How much do you want? Look, it's no more than you'd spend for an ad in a magazine.
And think of the goodwill you'll be generating, it's more than any campaign that I could come up with.
As for the rider you'll be sponsoring, he's an amazing athlete and a renowned humanitarian.
What the fuck are you doing? Brain surgery? Far more delicate.
This is a very rare comic from the '50s.
And you're not supposed to let the acid from your fingers touch the paper.
There, the operation is a success.
"Michael Novotny, doctor of comicology" triumphs again.
Freak show.
Would you get that? And tell whoever it is that the doctor is in.
Hello? Uh, sure.
Hold on.
It's Mr.
Leeson.
Callie's dad.
Steve? Hi.
It was nice meeting you and Amber the other night.
Ben and I are really looking forward to getting together.
Tonight? Well, I'll have to check with Ben, but I'm sure it'll be okay.
Where would you like to meet? That'd be fine.
How about 8:00 o'clock? See you then.
What was that about? We'd better go home and dust.
Your in-laws-to-be are coming over.
Of all the times we've fucked and by now I'd say that we were well into the quadruple digits That has to rank in the top five.
Good.
That'll be $1,000, please.
That's quite an increase from the two bits you were charging when we met.
To experience perfection is a privilege regardless of the price.
Besides, I need you to sponsor me for the Liberty Ride.
I'm sorry, sunshine, I'm already sponsoring someone else.
Me.
What? I'm doing the ride.
You can't do the ride.
You've barely recovered.
The doctor told you to take it easy, and at your age At my age, I can make up my own mind.
You hate bicycling, you despise camping out, you detest any and all forms of charity, you loathe the gay and lesbian center and everyone associated with it, so give me one, just one good reason why.
I want to.
Well, you can’t.
You haven't trained, you're not in shape.
There's no way you'd make it out of Toronto, much less the 322 miles back to Pittsburgh.
Your prophesies of doom only incite me more.
I'm just being realistic.
Well we dreamers have no time for that.
When's the next spin class? Tomorrow.
With a little practice, I'll fly like the wind.
The salmon was delicious.
Thanks.
I tried to cook it the way you like, almost rare.
Would you like some more? No, thanks.
Here, let me No, no, no.
You cooked, I'll clean up.
The premium for the variable annuity arrived, we both have to write cheques.
And the termite inspector's coming tomorrow.
It never stops, does it? What? The house, keeping things in order.
If it isn't one thing, it's another.
We don't want the foundation to rot.
No.
We don’t.
Then we have to take care of it.
After all, it's our home.
Susannah called.
About those tickets to the Evgeny Kissin recital.
She wanted to know if we're still planning on going with her and Tess.
I said, of course.
Oh, Mel.
Just stop it.
Stop it! What? I just wanted to give you a hug and a kiss.
Well, I don't want you giving me a hug or a kiss.
But I thought I mean that everything was going to be okay.
How could everything be okay? I'm just trying to maintain some sense of order, just hold things together.
I see.
I actually thought you decided to forgive me.
You must expect miracles or amnesia.
Well, I'm sorry I can't give you what you want.
But that's par for the course, isn't it? What's that supposed to mean? There's nothing I can do that'll ever make you feel completely happy.
You'll always feel unsatisfied, and I'll always feel like I'm not enough.
That's not true.
Oh bullshit! Of course it is.
Otherwise none of this would've happened.
Mel! Ooh! Mel? Are you okay? Something feels wrong.
Drewsie, you know, um, Brian and Ted, of course.
This is, uh, Michael and Ben and Justin.
Hi, guys.
Close your mouths, boys, drool's getting on the floor.
Someone could slip.
So, um, it's my baby's first time at Babylon, so let's show him a good time.
Come on honey, let's, uh, let's go exercise our thighs a different way tonight.
Another beer? Huh? You want another beer? Uh, thanks, but I haven't finished this one yet.
Do you happen to notice anything peculiar? Like what? Like this is one of Pittsburgh’s most famous restaurants, yet we're the only ones here.
Must be a slow night.
You going to finish that? Uh, no, no.
You know, when you said we were going to go out, this isn't exactly what I imagined.
What did you imagine? For one thing, people.
Did you buy this place out so we wouldn't be seen together? I don't like the attention, that's all.
It's hard to have a meal or even a conversation with fans coming up every two minutes, asking for an autograph.
Trust me.
It's better this way.
It's good you saved room for dessert.
They've got a killer chocolate cake, must be a foot high.
I'll need an extra-long workout after that.
Just don't swear or fart or make stupid jokes, okay? And don't do any Bette Davis impressions.
When have I ev-ah done a Bette Davis impression? Ben! We promise we won't embarrass you, pal.
That's them.
Steve, Amber.
Come on in.
Can I take your coats? Uh, no, thanks.
We're not staying.
If we hadn't gone through her journal, we never would have known.
Considering what kids are up to these days, you do whatever you have to.
You have no idea how upset we were.
Are! Your son may have exposed our daughter to aids.
Hunter doesn't have aids.
He's HIV-positive.
What difference does it make? Very big difference.
I ought to know.
I happen to be HIV-positive too.
We're very aware of safe sex, and we've instructed Hunter to be as well.
I wore a condom.
I'm glad that you can be so matter-of-fact about it.
But you still should've told us.
If Michael and I knew in advance that Hunter and Callie were going to have sex, which, for the record, we didn't, we would've discussed it.
However, the important thing is, they both acted responsibly.
What the hell do they know? They're 16! More than you.
We don't want him seeing Callie again.
No fucking way! Calm down.
That's final.
Fuck this shit! Hunter.
That's enough.
Excuse yourself.
Go on.
We're sorry about Hunter, but we have to protect Callie.
How did he get it anyway? That's a private matter.
He had sex with our daughter.
I think we have a right to know.
Why don't you tell them? Go on, tell them everything.
Or would you like me to? How are you feeling? I'm fine.
How's the baby? Baby's fine too, for now.
Thank god.
What the hell happened? You went into early labour.
Probably brought on by stress.
What did I tell you about taking it easy? I know, I know.
Obviously, you don't, or you wouldn't be here.
Well, this time you're going to listen.
If you deliver too prematurely, there could be serious complications.
Are you trying to scare me? You're damn right I am.
We've managed to stop the labour with drugs, but for the remainder of the pregnancy, you're not to leave your bed except for a trip to the bathroom.
No extended walking, no lifting, no physical exertion of any kind.
Do I make myself clear? Keep her in bed.
Don't let her out.
I'll strap her to it if I have to.
You might.
You're very lucky to have such a devoted partner, you're going to be spending a lot of time together.
Okay, everybody ready? Let's go.
Don't leave without me.
What the hell is he doing here? Today the Liberty Ride, tomorrow the Tour De France.
Okay, guys.
15 minute interval, no breaks.
Nice and relaxed on the bike, everybody.
You should have told me it's Babylon on wheels.
Just easy riding right now.
Okay, here we go, guys.
Keep those hips back.
Everybody, keep your abs strong.
All right, slide your hands to third, guys.
Lift it up out of the saddle.
Come on, hit it hard, guys.
Turn up the tension on the bikes, guys.
Work it.
Let's go.
Come on, kick it, guys, come on.
Come on, hit it, let's go.
Staying strong.
Okay, let's bring it on home.
No more water, no more breaks, let's go! Come on, fire it up.
Come on, guys, work it.
Hit it hard, here, let's go.
Staying strong, staying strong on the bikes, everybody.
Work it.
Come on, fire it up.
Let's go.
Come on, guys.
Spin it.
Now, how many pigs does your daughter have in her collection? that's a lot of pigs.
Well, if she wants a cake in the shape of a pig, we'll get her a cake in the shape of a pig.
Oops! Can you excuse me for just one moment, Mrs.
Newburg? Thanks.
Hello? Emmett? Yeah.
It's sierra.
We have to talk.
W-we, uh, we do? Right away.
Today.
Emmett, I don't think I’ve ever been so upset.
I can imagine.
I felt the best way to deal with the situation is for us to sit down together and discuss it.
That seems perfectly uh, reasonable.
I was in the shower this morning when Drew got the call.
What call? From our wedding planner.
She was rushed to the hospital.
Her appendix burst.
She's going to be out of commission for months.
Oh, oh.
Th-that's a Shame.
It's worse than a shame.
It's an absolute disaster.
Drew and I can't postpone our wedding, so I've decided I want you to do it.
I realize I’ve caught you off guard, that you don't know what to say, but please, Emmett, say yes.
You have no idea how important this is to me.
Uh-uh, what about Drew? I mean, something tells me he wouldn't want me to, um I know sometimes he can be a bit gruff.
Oh, Emmett, if you only knew him like I do.
Of course, he's gorgeous and strong and athletic.
But he's also kind and loving and honest.
He’s well, my hero.
And we need a wedding that's worthy of a hero.
You know, my mother used to tell me that the way to have a perfect marriage, is to start off with a perfect wedding.
And I just know you'll give us that perfect start.
Hey, yo, what time is it, man, what time is it? Hey.
Hey.
I waited for you outside the cafeteria.
Where were you? Oh, I had to study for the chem final.
You missed a great lunch, mystery meat.
Did your parents tell you about the talk? It was twisted.
So, what did they say? Callie? They said you told them that you were a a prostitute.
That you had sex with men, that that's how you got it.
Is it true? Why didn't you tell me? How do you tell your girlfriend that you used to fuck guys for a living? You'd never talk to me again.
You're barely talking to me now.
Then you're gay? I thought I was.
All I can think about is is you with all those men, them doing things to you, you doing things to them.
I don't do it any more.
I swear.
Look, I've got to get back to class.
We just heard that Remson Pharmaceuticals is sponsoring the ride to the tune of 100 G's.
Will wonders never cease? We didn't say anything, of course.
Having been trained never to divulge information under penalty of death, but it has the fingerprints of one Brian Kinney all over it.
Now you can forget about the ride.
Take care of yourself.
You need your rest.
Go take a nap.
You want to cut my meat up for me too? Oh, got to go.
Got to train.
Freshen your hemlock? What makes you think I want to kill myself? The look on your face for one thing.
Maybe I should have.
Well there is an alternative to going out in a blaze of glory, and that's giving them all the big "fuck you".
I always say it was 'cause of me that Vic survived those last four years.
'Cause I bathed him, I fed him.
Wiped his ass.
Yeah, right.
But the truth is Vic fought like a son of a bitch.
Every time a new infection hit, or some new med would make him feel worse than what it was supposed to be curing he would dig down into some unfathomable place in himself and say, "I'm not giving up yet, so fuck off.
" Now, uh you can give me my tip.
Thanks for helping me drag this down, Michael.
Yes, thank you, Michael.
Hey, this is my kid too.
If anything happens to him Nothing's going to happen.
I'm fine.
We're fine.
There are a lot of women who have to do this at the end of their pregnancy.
Yet another reason why I’m glad I'm a guy.
Still, there are many pleasures.
Along with the pain.
There.
All right, get in.
And stay in.
If you need anything else Call me.
Or better yet, I'll call you.
In about an hour.
Oy! He's never going to leave me alone, is he? Probably not.
Then there's Debbie.
Where're you going? To get a bottle of water.
I'll get it.
The doctor said you're not to move.
Christ, don't you listen to anybody? It's just in the kitchen.
You can go to the bathroom.
And that's it.
Until the baby's born, I'm your arms and legs.
So, I guess we're stuck.
You in bed, us with each other.
Funny, isn't it? Achingly.
I'll get you your water.
Hey, sport.
I was wondering what happened to you.
Peel off those pants and let's start the clock.
Sorry I'm late.
I was with sierra.
I'm afraid you're going to have to deal with a very distraught fiancée when you get home.
You didn't tell her? No, no, of course not.
I leave that up to you.
I just told her I couldn't plan your wedding.
Oh.
That.
So, um when are you going to tell her? About what? About you.
About me.
She loves you, you know.
More than loves you, worships you.
Adores you.
Believes in you.
You know how hurt, how devastated she'd be if she ever found out? Why would she ever find out? Why should anybody? 'Cause it's the truth? Oh, the truth is I have nothing to gain and everything to lose.
You see, I'm an industry, Drew Boyd, Inc.
A lot of people make millions of dollars off of me.
Do you have any idea what would happen if this were to get out? I'd lose my friends, my team-mates, my fans, my endorsements.
But most of all, I'd lose the thing that I love most in this world playing football.
Besides, I love sierra.
I want a wife and kids, just like everybody else.
And what about us? Nothing has to change.
And nobody needs to know.
It's none of their goddamn business.
You know, everything you said made perfectly good sense and I'm sure most people would agree with you.
Why tell anyone, why lose everything, when it can be your little secret? But you see, it was, uh, different for me.
Everyone could tell who I was from the start.
Which, believe me, didn't make my life any easier.
I've been beaten up, cursed at, spit on from day one.
Which in a way, was worth it.
Because I've never had to live a lie, and I'm not about to start now, not for you, not for anyone.
What girl's going to want me when she finds out what I've got and how I got it? You'll find someone.
You'll see.
Just like Michael and I found each other.
It's different with a guy and a girl.
I mean, some day, she'll want to have kids.
I can never do that.
That's not true.
They're working on that.
I never should've told her.
That way no one ever would've known.
No.
You did the right thing, the honourable thing, telling her the truth.
No one's ever going to love me.
Oh, that's not true.
We love you.
Whether you're positive or not.
Whether you're gay or not.
And others will too.
Where're you going? Babylon? Hopefully, I'll have the strength for one quick spin around the floor.
Well, don't make noise when you come in.
I have to get up early to go to spin class.
You youngsters, I don't know where you get your strength.
moo!