The Middle s04e13 Episode Script

After a high school career of really playing the field, it was nice to see Axl finally settle down.
He settled down in front of the TV He settled down against the fridge Yep, he settled down pretty much everywhere.
So did you hear the buzz on the block? The new neighbors have finally moved into the Meenahan's house.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
I'm bringing these over to welcome 'em to the neighborhood.
You're bringing potato chips? It doesn't matter what you bring.
It's that you brought something.
So you wanna come with me? Not in any way.
Aw, come on.
It's the neighborly thing to do.
It'll give us a chance to check out their stuff.
We already know it's better than ours.
What's the point? Hey, mom.
I was just filling in my dates for wrestlerettes.
If you thought I was busy as a mascot, - I am gonna get even busier as a wrestlerette.
- Mm-hmm.
Seriously.
I'm gonna be like one of those people who says they're crazy busy.
That's how busy I'm gonna be.
Come on, Mike.
Last chance to go with me.
It's not like you're doing anything important.
You know what? Hang on.
Thanks, pal.
Tell 'em I said hi.
Hi.
Frankie Heck.
We just live down the street.
You know, the house with all the screaming coming out of it? Anyway, it's just a little something from our home to yours.
Aw.
That is so sweet.
Colleen Webber.
Get on in here.
It's cold out there.
Whoa.
Looks like a lot of the neighbors have been stopping by.
Well, no.
Just one, actually.
Nancy Donahue.
Do you know her? Uh, yeah.
I think I do.
Oh! - Come on! - Unbelievable! That's my husband.
He's watching the game with a few guys he met at work.
Honey, Jeff! Come meet the neighbor! Hey.
Sorry about the noise.
- Hi.
I'm Jeff.
- Hi.
Jeff.
Frankie Heck.
Hi.
I'm gonna stare at you for three seconds, then I'll never forget your name.
Locked and loaded.
He's amazing with names.
Thanks Rhonda, right? Hey, did you bring these, Frankie? Have to say, hands down, best welcome gift we've gotten.
Jeff, we're down by 12.
Okay.
I gotta get back in there.
- All right.
Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
Lucky chips coming in.
Yeah! Gotta be the chips! Thank Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Frankie! Wow.
Jeff was great.
Just so much fun.
And then I went back to my house.
Ugh.
It's so depressing in here.
A little light wouldn't kill you, Mike.
You're not a bat.
Hey.
What are you doing? It was fine in here.
No, it was dank.
You know, it was just so much fun over at the new neighbors' house.
There were these guys watching the game, and they were all friendly and festive You didn't invite 'em over, did you? No, Mike.
I didn't invite anybody over.
Attagirl.
You know what? Forget it.
Just sit here alone in the dark and watch your TV.
And I can't believe that I have to say this for the second consecutive week, but the bulletin board outside of the main office is for approved announcements only.
Not pictures of your heinies.
All right.
And now a message from the cheerleaders.
- All right, Courtney! - Go, Debbie! Go, Hens! So the Orson High wrestling team, which we never really knew about, is expected to do super well this season, and we're uber-pumped.
Aren't we, Deb? We sure are, Court.
And it's sad, 'cause they don't get the school spirit they need.
So we, the football and basketball cheerleaders, have decided to do triple duty this year and be the wrestling cheerleaders, too! Say it with us! Never give up! Never give in! Thundering Hens fight for that pin! Mom! Axl, get off your girlfriend and take out the trash like I already told you to five times today.
Ugh.
Okay.
Don't move a muscle.
It's nice to finally see your face.
I've really only seen the back of your head before.
You have a very oblong head.
Oblong.
Hey.
You're into "Planet Nowhere"? God, I spent so much time reading those books, my vision started to blur.
Really? You, too? Who's your favorite character? - Soran! - Soran! So many people prefer the Vernegos - Oh.
- but not me.
Brick! Go nerd out somewhere else.
Silligan.
Am I right? Silligan.
Ah.
Hey, Frankie! Told you.
Never forget.
Oh.
You out getting some exercise? No.
I was just returning those casserole dishes to the Donahues.
You didn't want that paper plate back, did you? Oh, no.
That is our gift to you.
You know, Jeff, this might sound weird, but you're really friendly, and my husband well, he's not always, and I was just wondering if maybe you could ask him to hang out sometime.
Oh.
Uh I don't want to imply that he doesn't have any friends.
It's just, his dad is a recluse, and Mike definitely has those tendencies.
Not that he's gonna become one, but you know, in the back of my mind, I worry about it.
Oh, he's also a hoarder.
Mike's dad is, not Mike.
Anyway Listen, Frankie I've got one rule in life-- I'll have a beer with anyone.
Courtney.
Debbie.
We gotta talk.
Hi.
Are you our new transfer student? Welcome to Orson High.
I am not a transfer student.
I'm Sue Heck.
My brother is Axl? You've talked to me at my house? You know what? Doesn't matter.
Look, wrestlerettes already exist, and that's our job.
We're the ones who cheer for the wrestling team, so your cheering services will not be needed.
Court, what are wrestlerettes? I don't know, but it's a fun name.
- We should use it.
- No! You can't use it because I came up with it last year, when I founded wrestlerettes.
Wait, I don't think "founded" is a word, is it? Mm, I think people mostly say "found," like "lost and found.
" Oh, is that what you're looking for? It's in the main office.
And totally feel free to come watch us cheer for the wrestlers.
And good luck at lost and found.
Hello? Oh, hi! Yeah, hang on.
Mike, it's for you.
It's never for me.
It's probably some solicitor.
It's not a solicitor.
It's Jeff, our new neighbor.
That's what they tell you to get you on the phone.
Just hang up.
Mike, I'm pretty sure it's him.
Why is he calling me? I don't know.
Just take it.
Find out what he wants.
I don't know what he wants.
He can hear you.
Uh hello? Axl? Shh.
I'm talking to my lady.
That doesn't look like talking.
We're snapchatting.
It's for grown-ups.
You'll do it, too, in a few years when you get a phone.
And then in a hundred years when you get a girlfriend.
Right.
Can I ask you something? Do you ever worry that Cassidy might get bored with you if you don't share the keys to a lasting relationship, such as friendship and intellectual stimulation? Just thinking out loud.
Ugh.
Where'd you hear all that junk? At the library in the dollar bin, I picked up "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
" Not actually a science fiction book, as it turns out.
But it did talk a lot about how a couple needs to find common ground to keep the relationship strong.
Hey, we got plenty in common.
We both think I'm awesome.
Now just shut up.
I gotta say good night to my girlfriend.
See you then.
So? So? What was that about? Uh, he asked me to watch the game with him.
I said fine.
That was it.
Ooh.
Where you gonna go? I don't know.
Well, is it gonna be a full dinner, or is it just drinks and light snacks? It's not a wedding, Frankie.
Well, okay.
That sounds super.
Let me know if you need help picking out an outfit.
- Oh! What a shot.
- Mm.
41 to 44! You must have played back in the day.
I haven't played in a while.
My knee.
You still have your original knee? I'm like 50% titanium.
Sucks gettin' old, doesn't it? Yeah, I hear you.
Sometimes I have to pee while I'm peeing.
Good! Tied it up.
- Nice shot.
- Yes.
Sorry, pulled my right shoulder.
I gotta go left.
Oh, that's a no-go for me.
Tweaked my back.
- Ooh.
- What do you say we just sit and drink more beer? - That sounds good.
- All right.
Hold on a sec.
I, uh thought maybe we could have a conversation.
Thought maybe we could, uh, you know, con-verse.
Oh.
Okay.
What do you wanna "con-verse" about? Well, uh, I thought you could start, 'cause, you know, I was the one that came up with the idea of talking.
Okay.
Uh, I'll start.
Hey, you going to the pep rally? Uh, no.
Why would I? Come on, Axl.
I had two AP tests today.
I don't feel like talking.
I hope that's cool.
Yeah.
Pfft.
Totally cool, yeah.
Yep, Brick had gotten into Axl's head, just like Sue had to do with her wrestlerettes.
Okay.
I know you all saw the assembly the other day, and I am sure you had the same reaction I did.
Yeah, the cheerleaders were really good.
No.
Weren't you listening? The cheerleaders are stealing wrestlerettes from us.
You guys, we have to do something about this.
That sounds like it could take a while.
This is the night I usually bury things I found during the week.
Oh, I could sew together a spirit quilt for the cheerleaders, to bless them in their endeavors.
No.
We're not burying anything, and we are not blessing anyone.
We built wrestlerettes from the ground up, and we gotta fight for it.
Who's with me? Wait.
We're-- we're gonna fight? 'Cause I got a sock full of old batteries in my locker.
I call the blonde one.
Becky! So my house for the next one? You got it.
All right.
I'll see you around.
Thanks.
It was fun.
Don't thank me.
Thank your wife.
She's the one that suggested it.
Suggested what? You know, us getting together.
Uh-huh? Yeah, she said you were shy.
You're not shy.
If anything, you talk too much.
I'm just kiddin'.
Have a good one.
Yeah.
Will do.
Hi.
How'd it go? Did you ask Jeff to hang out with me? What? No.
I mean, I ran into him outside when I got the mail.
That's a "yes.
" That's a Frankie "yes.
" What happened? Did-- did you have a bad time? - I had a fine time.
- Hey, you had a fine time.
That's great.
So you guys getting together again? - Nope.
- Well, why not? Oh, I don't know.
Maybe 'cause I'm shy.
Okay, listen You telling guys I'm shy? First off, you don't use that word.
And if anything, it's "stoic.
" Mike, it's not like I'm going around talking about you.
I only said you were stoic as to how it related to your dad.
W-what are you doing talking about my dad? I don't know, just how you can be sort of like him, and how he hardly leaves the house and he's a hoarder, - and he-- - Are you out of your mind? Mike, who cares? If you had a good time, what does it matter how you and Jeff got together? Because I'm a grown man! Your wife doesn't call other grown men and ask them to take you out.
It's weird.
Yeah, but you weren't doing it.
I'm not 5, Frankie.
I don't need you to set up playdates for me.
I have friends, okay? And I told him that.
- I totally told him you have friends.
- Aah! Mike, I'm sorry.
I thought you two would like each other.
Even Nancy Donahue thought it would be a good idea to get you guys together.
You talked to Nancy Donahue about me.
That's it.
We're movin'.
Look, it doesn't matter how you and Jeff met.
The point is, you can't let pride stand in the way of what could be a great friendship.
Frankie, no more talking about me to anybody.
Period.
Got it? Can I at least tell Nancy it went well? I need you to teach me stuff so I can talk to people.
It's Cassidy, isn't it? You're feeling intellectually inferior.
No.
But if you must know, I feel she's smarter than me.
Ah.
I knew this day would come-- a day I'd become more to you than something to Indian burn, whip a towel at, or force to smell your farts.
Just shut up and help me.
Now you don't need to know all of them.
Just pick one.
That way, if someone talks to you about a particular artist, you respond by saying, "that's interesting that you like this artist, but I like blank.
" Hmm.
Great.
Perfect.
Now just show me this Blank dude's stuff, and let's kick art's sorry ass.
Ha ha! JD Salinger's famous book on teen angst is called "Catcher In The" "Rye.
" The character Atticus Finch is from the book "To Kill A Mockingbird.
" F.
Scott Fitzgerald's most famous novel is entitled "The Great" - "Escape.
" - No.
Ugh.
"Train Robbery.
" Sorry.
Uh the "Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.
" Wait.
Wait.
"Gatsby.
" "Great Gatsby.
" Whoo! Ha! I win! Well, Axl might have been feeling victorious, but I was feeling a little guilty.
I'd overstepped my bounds, and I knew I had to fix things.
Hi, Jeff? It's Frankie, your new neighbor.
Yeah, hi.
So here's the thing-- Mike had a really good time the other night, and I know he would love to do it again, but he's not exactly the type to pick up the phone.
Not that he's socially awkward.
He has friends.
So if I didn't make that clear before, he does.
But he also has that loner DNA I mean, you should meet his brother.
The guy lived in a tent for a year.
But anyway, if you wanted to ask him out again, that would be great.
But he was a little hinky that I asked you in the first place, so if you talk to him, maybe you don't mention that I call Okay.
Talk later.
Bye.
Have you lost your mind? And that's why you should always wear socks.
Okay, students, please put your hands together for something we've never had at this school before.
Hmm? Wrestling cheerleaders! Not so fast.
Uh, what are you doing here? What we are doing here is fighting for wrestlerettes, which I founded.
Yeah, founded.
It's a word.
Look it up.
- I don't get it.
Do you get it, Deb? - No, I don't.
How about we let the school decide who gets to cheer for the wrestlers? Oh, that's right.
Time to bring it on.
Oh, my God.
It's a cheer-off! It's a cheer-off! Whoo! "H"! "E"! "N"! "S"! Whoa.
Axl.
What are you doing here? Why wouldn't I be here? 'Cause the pep rally is going on.
And if everybody's not suitably peppy, there's no way we'll take down Roosevelt.
Eh, I don't wanna be there.
I wanna be here, because art is awesome.
Ooh.
Like what you're doing.
Sort of reminds me of, uh, Van Gogh's "Starry Night," which he actually painted from memory during the day.
So uh, did you know Van Gogh did his most famous paintings the last two years of his life? Also, "To Kill A Mockingbird" is a significant book.
I could talk about that for hours.
I can also talk about "Catcher In The Rye," but not for as long.
Okay.
What's going on here? I don't know.
Um, doesn't it bother you we don't have deep conversations and stuff? Not really.
Guess I never thought about it.
Does it bother you? Well yeah.
Kinda.
I I know what's going on in here, but I don't always say it.
You know, I don't always express it.
And before, I never really cared, but when you start, like falling for somebody I just want to make sure that you see there's more to me than you know, everybody else sees.
That's a pretty deep thought, Axl.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
I like it.
You like my thought, huh? My thought turn you on? Oh, yeah.
How about I give you another one? I'd like another one.
I bet you would.
Okay, okay.
They were really good.
But we can do this.
This is the moment we've been waiting for our entire lives.
The rapture? No, Ruth.
But that's a biggie, too.
Hit it! Baby, look at me and tell me what you see You ain't seen the best of me yet Give me time, I'll make you forget the rest I got more in me and you can set it free I can catch the moon in my hands Don't you know who I am? Remember my name Fame I'm gonna live forever I'm gonna learn how to fly high I feel it coming together People will see me and cry Fame I'm gonna make it to heaven light up the sky like a flame Fame I'm gonna live forever Baby, remember my name Remember, remember remember, remember Remember, remember remember, remember Remember my name Fame I thought about it, and Mike's right.
I stepped over the line with Jeff.
So I did what I should have done right from the beginning-- I called his wife.
Hi, Colleen, it's Frankie, your neighbor.
I hope you don't mind me leaving a message on your cell, but, well, I was a bit of a dope, and I called Jeff so he would call Mike again, and Mike found out.
And I promised him I wouldn't call Jeff again.
So that's why I'm reaching out to you, just wife-to-wife.
'Cause it would be silly if they didn't get together because of what I did.
So if you could tell your husband to just call my husband so they could grab another beer, that would be great.
Hi.
It's Frankie calling back real quick.
Now that I thought about it, maybe don't tell Jeff I called you, 'cause that might be weird.
Hi.
Frankie again.
You know how I said in the last message not to tell Jeff I called you? I realized I shouldn't ask you to lie to your husband.
So however you wanna handle it amongst yourselves is your business, but how 'bout no one tell Mike? Just let's none of us tell Mike, okay? Sorry to call back again, but I just wanna be super-duper clear.
'Cause you don't really know me, and I don't want you to think I keep secrets from my husband.
'Cause I don't.
We have a very good marriage.
I mean, everybody has their problems.
But I mean, it's good.
No, it's solid.
I feel like I'm starting to sound crazy.
But someone who knows they're crazy isn't really crazy, right? Like Hitler.
Oh, God, I just realized I mentioned Hitler, and that's really inappropriate.
I don't even know if you're Jewish.
Doesn't matter.
Hitler's horrible for everybody.
You know what? Let's just start over.
You can tell Jeff whatever you want Well, it's no surprise that we didn't see our new neighbors much after that.
Although we did see them briefly the other day.
I don't know.
Maybe it's true-- I can't leave well enough alone.
But I like to think I'm striving for excellence in a family of settlers.
Sometimes you succeeed and sometimes you don't.
You know, I'm glad we didn't become friends with them.
They're weird.
Yeah.
They're definitely weird.