King of the Hill s04e16 Episode Script
Movin' on Up
1 Hank: BOY, LOOK AT POPS GO.
80 YEARS OLD AND HE STILL HAS THE REACTION TIME TO MISS THE SPRINKLER HEADS.
TONY CURTIS IS 80.
( gasps ) HUH.
LOOK AT HIM.
NOW HE'S JUST SHOWBOATING.
COME ON, POPS.
LET'S SEE THOSE HANDS AT 10:00 AND 2:00.
UH, POPS? MR.
POPISITO? ( crashing and clattering ) OH, MAN, IT DON'T HEY! HEY, MAN! Hank: BOY, I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S SAD BUT AT LEAST HE WENT DOING WHAT HE LOVED.
WELL, WE SHOULD ALL BE SO LUCKY.
YOU KNOW HOW I WANT TO GO? RIGHT HERE IN THE ALLEY WITH YOU GUYS.
YEAH, IT'LL PROBABLY BE MY HEAR THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING.
OOH, HEY, WE SHOULD RENT THAT HOUSE OURSELVES.
WE CAN TURN IT INTO A CLUBHOUSE.
I AM CURRENTLY AN OFFICIAL SUPPORTER OF THE CLUBHOUSE IDEA.
I ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE CALLED "DASH.
" AND I'LL BE "SPIKE.
" A CLUBHOUSE? I DON'T KNOW.
ISN'T THAT SOMETHING YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR 30s? NAW, MAN.
COME ON, HANK.
YOU KNOW WE GET A LITTLE OLD DVD PLAYER, MAN JESSICA RABBIT, MAN FREEZE FRAME AND ALL.
YOU TALKING ABOUT A FRIDGE FULL OF BEER, TOO, MAN, YOU KNOW? ( chuckles ) WELL, BOOMHAUER, I'LL TELL YOU YOU OUGHT TO BE IN SALES.
ALL RIGHT, I'M IN.
WELCOME TO THE CLUBHOUSE, HANK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE CALLED? HOW 'BOUT RUDY? HOW 'BOUT HANK? HANK IT IS RUDY.
YOU ARE SO LATE.
YOU KNOW I LIKE MY BATH AT 9:30, WITH MY ONION LOAF.
I'M SORRY.
THE CASH REGISTER DIDN'T BALANCE AND IT TOOK GARY 20 MINUTES TO CONFESS.
DO YOU MIND IF I JUST TAKE A QUICK SHOWER FIRST? I SMELL LIKE WAITRESSING.
I'M SORRY.
MY BATH IS ALREADY DRAWN.
( Hank and Peggy laughing ) Hank: OKAY, I'M TAKING OFF MY BOXERS.
( laughing ) WHAT THE LUANNE! OH, MY GOD.
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE SLEEPING.
( laughing ) BUT YOU GUYS WEREN'T SLEEPING.
EXIT THE MASTER BEDROOM RIGHT NOW! ( sighs ) BOXERS.
LUANNE, WE HAVE RULES IN THIS HOUSE.
WHY ARE YOU GUYS GETTING SO UPSET? I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
YOU SAW YOUR UNCLE'S NIPPLES.
( sighs ) THE WAY I SEE I YOU ARE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF FOUR OF OUR RULES.
YOU HAD IT NOTARIZED? NO WATER USAGE AFTER 10:00 P.
M.
9:00 P.
M.
CURFEW ON SCHOOL NIGHTS ENTERING THE MASTER BEDROOM WITHOUT VERBAL PERMISSION AND YOU'RE BAREFOOT IN THE KITCHEN.
LADY BIRD EATS OFF THAT FLOOR.
GOD ONLY HAS TEN RULES, UNCLE HANK AND HIS HOUSE IS MUCH BIGGER.
ALL RIGHT, DALE, FOR THE LAST TIME I CAN'T TURN IN THIS RENTAL APPLICATION WITHOUT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.
FINE.
555-55.
THAT'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH NUMBERS.
FIVE FIVE OKAY, I'M LEAVING YOUR NAME OFF BUT YOU'RE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR ONE-FOURTH OF THE RENT.
I FIGURE I CAN PULL MY EXTRA WORKBENCH OUT OF PUBLIC STORAGE AND KEEP IT IN THE CLUBHOUSE.
THAT'LL SAVE ME A FEW BUCKS A MONTH.
AND I'VE GIVEN IT SOME THOUGH AND I HAVE DECIDED TO START CHARGING LUANNE SOME REN FOR LIVING IN MY DEN.
SEE, A HOUSE RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME.
THEY WANT TO USE OUR CLUBHOUSE AS THEIR LIVING QUARTERS.
HANK, WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW, KAHN.
THE HOUSE LOOKS NICE BUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKS A LITTLE HILLBILLY TO ME.
HILLBILLY? HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA.
FOLLOW MY LEAD.
HEY, MR.
KAHN.
THEM SOME FANCY BLUE JEANS Y'ALLS LADY FRIEND IS WEARING.
THEY MUST BE CITY FOLKS.
I JUST WHIPPED UP A NEW BATCH OF POSSUM STEW I'D BE WILLING TO SHARE WITH YOU.
DON'T WORRY.
I TOOK OFF THE FEET.
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? ALL GREAT CHEFS DOING THAT NOW.
WOLFGANG PUCK CUT THE FEET OFF OF EVERYTHING.
Dale: GOT MY OWN FINE LIFE GOT MY OWN FIDDLE SUN'S COMING UP I GOT GRIBBLE, GRIBBLE, GRIBBLE Both: LIFE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A FUNNY, FUNNY RIDDLE THANK GOD, I'M A COUNTRY BOY.
THEY'RE JUST DAY LABORERS.
THEY'RE PUTTING IN MY DECK.
( all chuckling ) OUR PLAN WORKED.
SPIKE, RUDY, BOOMHAUER LET'S CHECK OUT OUR NEW CLUBHOUSE.
YO, MAN, YOU TALKING 'BOUT EVERYBODY GOT A DANG OLE NICKNAME 'CEPT ME, MAN.
I DON'T LIKE IT DANG OLE ODD MAN OUT, MAN.
ALL RIGHT, BOOMHAUER.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE CALLED? OH, B-DOG.
Hank: SO I FIGURE IF WE KNOCK DOWN THAT WALL AND BUILD A NEW WALL OVER THERE, THAT'D BE FUN.
BILL: HEY, A REFRIGERATOR.
LOOK, POPS' LAST BEER.
HUH.
HUH.
TO POPS.
THAT SON OF A BITCH HAD A SWIMMING POOL? I THOUGHT I HEARD SPLASHING.
HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW? YOU LIVED NEXT DOOR TO HIM FOR 18 YEARS.
I THOUGHT HE LIVED ON A LAKE.
WHAT LAKE? IT WAS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
SO, YOU'RE THE ONES WHO BROKE MY LOCK BOX.
UH, WAS THE OPEN HOUSE CANCELED? I'M SORRY.
THIS HOUSE HAS ALREADY BEEN RENTED TO A LOVELY COLLEGE STUDENT.
COLLEGE STUDENT? NO COLLEGE STUDENT'S GOING TO HAVE A CREDIT HISTORY LIKE MINE.
HERE ARE YOUR KEYS, MS.
PLATTER.
WELCOME HOME.
LUANNE? YOUNG LADY, YOU'D BETTER MARCH RIGHT BACK INTO HANK'S DEN.
THAT'S YOUR HOME AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR HOME, RIGHT, HANK? LUANNE, WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME.
Hank: I WON'T BE STINGY WITH THE TAPE, LUANNE-- YOU TAPE AWAY.
IT'S NOT THAT I WANT TO MOVE IT'S JUST THAT I HATE LIVING HERE.
THERE'S JUST TOO MANY RULES.
YEP.
WAY TOO MANY RULES.
GOOD-BYE.
AND IF I HAVE TO PAY REN I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP IN A DEN AND SHARE A BATHTUB WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY.
OKAY? RENT? EXCUSE ME.
HANK, DID YOU PASS A NEW LAW WHILE THIS HILL WAS NOT IN SESSION? JUST TIED UP A RENTAL LOOPHOLE.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS SHE'S HAPPY.
AND I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT ALL ALONE.
SEE, THIS FRIEND OF MINE WHO GOT KICKED OUT OF HER APARTMEN SHE HAD THREE ROOMMATES WHO ALSO GOT KICKED OUT OF THE APARTMEN AND SHE SAID I COULD HAVE THEM.
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST THINK THAT I SHOULD MOVE OU BEFORE WE END UP HATING EACH OTHER.
OH, LUANNE, WE COULD NEVER HATE SHE'S MAKING A GOOD POINT, PEGGY.
WE LOST EVERYTHING SO FAST.
AND HANK DID NOTHING TO STOP I LIKE THE SWISS.
HOW'S YOUR PRECIOUS DEN? VISUAL CONFIRMATION.
ROOMMATE NUMBER ONE: FEMALE.
SHE'S DATING A JARHEAD, HUH? WELL, MY FIRST CHOICE WAS THE MARINES BUT I COULDN'T DO ENOUGH SIT-UPS TO BE A MARINE CORPS BARBER.
SEMPER FI.
Hank: OH, GREAT, WE GOT A DISCO DANCER.
ANYONE CAN MOVE SLOW.
SHH SH-SH-SHAW ( horn honking ) HEY.
HEY, GUYS DRINKING BEER YOU'RE IN MY PARKING SPOT.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
THIS IS WHERE WE ASSEMBLE.
ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
WELL, ALWAYS HAS BEEN TEXAS PENAL CODE 4-9.
02 WHICH PROHIBITS PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? NOBODY'S DRUNK HERE.
I DON'T KNOW, HANK, I'M PRETTY BUZZED.
MY LEASE SAYS THIS IS MY SPACE.
( all yelp ) HEY! THOUGHT SO.
GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU ROOMMATE NUMBER THREE.
I KIND OF LIKE HER.
( sighs ) ( country music plays ) HUH? ( music playing in distance ) ( music stops ) LITTLE HELP? ( music starts ) THANK YOU.
( music starts ) ( music stops ) NOW, YOU'VE GOT A LAWSUIT.
THE AUDACITY.
I HAVE UNPLUGGED YOUR HOUSE FROM MY HOUSE.
MM, THAT'S NOT VERY NEIGHBORLY OF YOU.
YOU KNOW, WHEN IT HITS 105 DEGREES AND YOU WANT TO USE MY POOL AND DRINK MY SOY SHAKES I'M GOING TO REMEMBER THIS.
YEAH? WELL, THERE GOES YOUR WELCOME-WAGON TOOL SET.
YOU HAPPY? Luanne: SO WHO'D LIKE TO MEET MY OTHER ROOMMATES? THE MANGER BABIES.
THIS IS SIR REGINALD FEATHERBOTTOM THE THIRD.
AND OH I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
I PERFORM A CHRISTIAN PUPPET SHOW AND OKAY.
WE NEED TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE.
I ALREADY WENT TO THE STORE.
AND SIR REGINALD NOTICED HOW EXPENSIVE FOOD IS THESE DAYS.
THERE'S FOOD? THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU A SPECK, WHAT, WHAT.
( sighs ) ONE IN THE GARAGE, ONE IN THE DEN.
WHATCHA DOIN'? OH NOTHING.
JUST, UH WORKING ON MY DEN.
I ALWAYS WANTED A CLUBHOUSE WITH A SECRET KNOCK.
HOW ABOUT, UH ( tapping "Shave and a Haircut" ) NO, THAT'S THE SECRET KNOCK AT THE GUN CLUB.
I DON'T WANT TO GET CONFUSED.
HOW ABOUT THIS? UH, YOU KNOW, PART OF THE REASON I AGREED TO THE CLUBHOUSE IDEA WAS THAT ONE OF THE BEDROOMS OVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE MY PRIVATE DEN AND, WELL, NOW THAT I'VE GOT MY DEN ( clears throat ) OUR CLUBHOUSE.
MY DEN.
YEP.
THAT'S THE OFFICIAL KNOCK.
IT'LL HOLD US UNTIL I GET A RETINA SCANNER.
( sighs ) HEY, GUYS, I FIGURED OUT ALL THE BILLS.
I USED ADDITIONS AND SUBTRACTIONS.
OOH, WOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.
SEE, I HAVE A BIKE RACE COMING UP AND THERE'S GOING TO BE THIS CHICK THERE THAT I DIG SO I NEED A NEW SHIRT THAT REALLY SPORTS MY ABS.
I MEAN, CHECK IT OUT.
YEAH, I CAN'T PAY THIS RIGHT NOW, EITHER.
I'M GOING TO VEGAS THIS WEEKEND.
UM OKAY.
KATE? THE PHONE BILL IS PRETTY MUCH 100% YOURS.
SO, ANYWAY, MY LITTLE SISTER SHE BORROWED MY KANGOL HAT.
YES, I'M MAD.
LISTEN WHEN I SIGNED UP FOR PHONE SERVICE I SIGNED A DOCUMENT THAT SAID I WOULD PAY ON TIME.
I SWORE IT ON MY MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME! YOU'RE KIND OF BEING A HOUSE NAZI RIGHT NOW, LUANNE.
HELLO.
I THOUGHT WE AGREED NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD ANTI-SMOKING LAWS? UH, WHO WAS IT? OH, YEAH.
HITLER.
( coughing ): NAZI.
( jingle plays on TV ) LUANNE! WHAT'S UP, GIRLFRIEND? I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN THE LONGEST.
OH, OKAY.
YOU GUYS ARE FINISHED WITH DINNER ALREADY.
WHY? ARE YOU HUNGRY? LUANNE, ARE YOU EATING? DO YOU NEED MONEY? GET MY PURSE.
NO, NO, NO, AUNT PEGGY, NO.
I'M ON MY OWN NOW AND I DON'T NEED HELP FROM ANYONE.
OH, BUT I AM DOING A BOOK REPORT ON WHAT PEOPLE EAT FOR DINNER.
SO WHAT DID YOU EAT? LET ME FIX YOU A TO-GO PLATE.
HEY, LUANNE, WHAT YOU GOT THERE? NOTHING.
THIS ISN'T MINE.
IT'S NICE TO SEE LUANNE ONCE IN A WHILE.
KNOWING SHE'LL BE LEAVING KIND OF MAKES IT LIKE A FUN GAME.
THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT STARVATION.
EXCEPT FOR COMIC RELIEF, OF COURSE.
NOW, LUANNE IS VERY PROUD AND MAY NOT ACCEPT OUR CHARITY BUT SHE IS ALSO VERY HUNGRY SO, WHO KNOWS? LUANNE IS USUALLY HOME FROM WORK BY NOW.
WHOA! WHOA! GUYS CAN SHAVE THEIR LEGS, TOO? THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.
PEGGY! BOBBY! SORRY, DAD.
HEADS UP.
DER FUEHRER'S HOME FROM WORK.
WHOSE TURN IS IT TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT? DON'T MAKE ME GET OU THE CHORE WHEEL.
OH UNCLE HANK, AUNT PEGGY, YOU'RE HERE.
WE BROUGHT A CASSEROLE FOR DINNER.
NO.
NO.
NO.
I WON'T HEAR OF IT! I'M ON MY OWN NOW AND I CAN MAKE YOU DINNER.
DINNER.
I'M ON IT.
OH, GOD, CRAP.
DINNER.
UH WHERE ARE CRACKERS? WHERE IS MY MACARONI AND THE CHEESE? WHERE ARE MY STEAK-UMS? THAT IS IT! WHO ATE ALL MY FOOD? COME FORWARD! I NEEDED A CARBO-LOAD.
( shrieks ) GRIFFIN! EW! WE SAID NO SHAVING IN THE LIVING ROOM UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.
YUCK SIEG HEIL.
WHEN I THINK OF HOW MANY STUPID ONION LOAFS I HAD TO SELL SO YOU PEOPLE COULD TALK ON THE PHONE AND EAT MY COOKIES IT MAKES ME SO ( groaning ) ( grunting ) ( whispering ): HANK, MAYBE WE SHOULD INTERVENE.
YOU GO TALK TO THE GERMAN ONE.
WE HAVE RULES IN THIS HOUSE! WE ALL AGREED TO THEM, PEOPLE! I'M COUNTING AT LEAST ( sputters ) 12! 12 VIOLATIONS! OH MY GOD I HAVE BECOME YOU.
OH ( crying ): I HATE MYSELF.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT LUANNE.
SHE HATES HERSELF BECAUSE SHE'S BECOME BOBBY? I MEAN, WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? HANK, SHE WAS POINTING AT YOU.
SHE'S BECOME YOU AND THAT IS WHY SHE HATES HERSELF.
OH, WELL, THEN SHE'S JUST CRAZY.
HANK, PLEASE TALK TO HER.
I-I CAN HEAR HER CRYING IN HER ROOM.
HER ROOM? MY DEN.
AND FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE COULD BE LAUGHING.
ALL RIGHT.
( sobbing ) IT IS VERY SAD TO SEE PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS.
YES, IT IS.
ALL RIGHT, BILL, DALE, BOOMHAUER, GET OUT.
COME ON.
( sighs ) SPIKE, DASH, B-DOG.
YOU KNOW, BACK IN YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU SAID, "I'VE BECOME YOU.
" YEAH? WELL, YOU SAID IT LIKE, "I'VE BECOME YOU.
" WHEN, WELL, YOU PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAID IT MORE LIKE "HEY, I'VE BECOME YOU!" WHAT? YOU SEE, LUANNE A LOT OF GOOD STUFF HAPPENED IN THE WORLD WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE ME.
SURE, THEY'LL NEVER WRITE A HOLLYWOOD MUSICAL ABOUT A FELLOW WHO KEEPS HIS YARD FREE OF DEBRIS AND PAYS HIS BILLS ON TIME AND THE MTV WON'T PUT ON A VIDEO ABOUT A MAN WHO REQUIRES SHOES IN THE KITCHEN BUT IT'S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE US BUT I'M NOT LIKE YOU! THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME! AND OH AND ALL THE BILLS AND THEY MOOCH MY FOOD AND THEY'RE ALWAYS ON THE PHONE! AND I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I CAN'T STAND ONE MORE DAY! THEY'RE WEARING MY SOCKS, UNCLE HANK! ( hyperventilating ) OH, GOD! OH, GOD, I NEED A PAPER BAG! NOW, TAKE IT EASY.
YOU DIDN'T SEE ME GETTING ALL HUFFY EVERY TIME YOU MADE ME MAD.
I MADE YOU MAD? SURE.
AND YOU WERE THREE TIMES THE PAIN IN THE BUTT THESE KIDS ARE.
OH, GOOD.
THEN YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE THEM FOR ME.
MAYBE I COULD BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU A FISH, LUANNE.
I WANT TO TEACH YOU HOW TO FISH.
THAT WAY, YOU'LL EAT FOREVER.
HELLO, I'M WITH THE ELECTRIC COMPANY.
DON'T MIND ME.
I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.
( sniffs ) I'M ON BREAK.
PLEASE, CONTINUE WITH YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
DO NOT WORRY.
I AM DEAF AND CANNOT HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.
YOU KNOW, LUANNE, YOU AND I BOTH WANTED A LITTLE PLACE OF OUR OWN.
I THOUGHT MY DEN WOULD BE MY OASIS BUT NOW THE ONLY PLACE I CAN GET AWAY FROM THE VARIOUS ANNOYANCES IN MY LIFE IS "IS"? IS MY LAWN.
WHEN I'M OUT THERE MOWING, EDGING, WATERING EVEN FERTILIZING NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.
YEP, THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT TO DO, LUANNE.
FIND YOURSELF A PROJECT.
FIND YOUR OWN LAWN.
THAT'S IT?! I COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR YOUR UNCLE'S BAD ADVICE.
WHAT? AHA! IT IS I, DALE GRIBBLE MASTER OF A THOUSAND FACES.
YOU JUST MET FACE NUMBER TWO: THE DEAF ELECTRICIAN.
THE ONLY THING YOUR ROOMMATES-- I.
E.
, ENEMIES-- WILL UNDERSTAND IS FEAR-- I.
E.
, PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE-- ( whispers ): I.
E.
, DIRTY TRICKS.
IT WORKED FOR DICK NIXON.
WELL, BUT FOR EXAMPLE, GET AHOLD OF SOME GOAT'S BLOOD TAINT THAT BLOOD.
THEN, WHEN YOUR ROOMMATES NEED BLOOD GIVE THEM THE TAINTED GOAT'S BLOOD.
IT'S A PERFECT PLAN.
I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE.
I JUST WANT THEM TO DO THE DISHES.
OH.
WELL, IN THAT CASE, STACK THE DISHES IN THE SHOWER.
THAT'S THE WAY NANCY GETS ME TO DO THEM.
LUANNE, DO YOU MIND? ICK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WELL, SOMEBODY LEFT A BUNCH OF DISHES IN THE SHOWER.
THAT'S KIND OF RUDE.
GOOD LORD! I HATE THESE PEOPLE! I KNOW, JESUS, I KNOW.
YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO SAY HATE.
I'M SORRY, LORD.
I REALLY, REALLY DO.
Dale: TRUTH OR DARE? DARE.
( sighs ) HEY, UNCLE HANK.
GUESS WHAT? RIGHT THIS SECOND THE P.
H.
BALANCE IN THIS POOL IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
SO, YOU FOUND YOURSELF A PROJECT.
DO YOU GET THE SAME, UH, HIGH I GET FROM LAWN CARE? YOU KNOW, I THINK I DO.
( music stops ) EXCUSE ME.
YOU DIDN'T PAY YOUR BILLS, DID YOU? OH, WELL, LUANNE, AT LEAST YOU TRIED.
OH, I PAID MY BILLS.
AND THEN I CLOSED ALL THE ACCOUNTS.
( chuckles ) IF MY ROOMMATES WANT GAS, WATER, ELECTRICITY OR A PHONE THEY CAN JUST OPEN UP THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS.
SIMPLE AS THAT.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE EVER UP LATE STUDYING FOR A TES AND YOU WANT A LITTLE ELECTRICITY I'VE STILL GOT THAT EXTENSION CORD.
NO, THANKS, UNCLE HANK.
YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO FISH.
YEP.
YEP.
THIS PLACE LOOKS TERRIBLE! YOU AIN'T POPS.
OH, THAT OLD GUY, YEAH.
HE DIED.
DEAD? THEN I'M ARRESTING YOU FOR SUSPICION OF MURDER.
GRAB HIM, TOPSY.
ALL RIGHT, BOY, JUST COME A LITTLE CLOSER.
HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU NAZI! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A NAZI?! NO! ALL RIGHT, TOPSY, LET'S ROLL.
Dale: TRUTH OR DARE? Bill: DARE.
80 YEARS OLD AND HE STILL HAS THE REACTION TIME TO MISS THE SPRINKLER HEADS.
TONY CURTIS IS 80.
( gasps ) HUH.
LOOK AT HIM.
NOW HE'S JUST SHOWBOATING.
COME ON, POPS.
LET'S SEE THOSE HANDS AT 10:00 AND 2:00.
UH, POPS? MR.
POPISITO? ( crashing and clattering ) OH, MAN, IT DON'T HEY! HEY, MAN! Hank: BOY, I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S SAD BUT AT LEAST HE WENT DOING WHAT HE LOVED.
WELL, WE SHOULD ALL BE SO LUCKY.
YOU KNOW HOW I WANT TO GO? RIGHT HERE IN THE ALLEY WITH YOU GUYS.
YEAH, IT'LL PROBABLY BE MY HEAR THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING.
OOH, HEY, WE SHOULD RENT THAT HOUSE OURSELVES.
WE CAN TURN IT INTO A CLUBHOUSE.
I AM CURRENTLY AN OFFICIAL SUPPORTER OF THE CLUBHOUSE IDEA.
I ALSO RESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE CALLED "DASH.
" AND I'LL BE "SPIKE.
" A CLUBHOUSE? I DON'T KNOW.
ISN'T THAT SOMETHING YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR 30s? NAW, MAN.
COME ON, HANK.
YOU KNOW WE GET A LITTLE OLD DVD PLAYER, MAN JESSICA RABBIT, MAN FREEZE FRAME AND ALL.
YOU TALKING ABOUT A FRIDGE FULL OF BEER, TOO, MAN, YOU KNOW? ( chuckles ) WELL, BOOMHAUER, I'LL TELL YOU YOU OUGHT TO BE IN SALES.
ALL RIGHT, I'M IN.
WELCOME TO THE CLUBHOUSE, HANK.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE CALLED? HOW 'BOUT RUDY? HOW 'BOUT HANK? HANK IT IS RUDY.
YOU ARE SO LATE.
YOU KNOW I LIKE MY BATH AT 9:30, WITH MY ONION LOAF.
I'M SORRY.
THE CASH REGISTER DIDN'T BALANCE AND IT TOOK GARY 20 MINUTES TO CONFESS.
DO YOU MIND IF I JUST TAKE A QUICK SHOWER FIRST? I SMELL LIKE WAITRESSING.
I'M SORRY.
MY BATH IS ALREADY DRAWN.
( Hank and Peggy laughing ) Hank: OKAY, I'M TAKING OFF MY BOXERS.
( laughing ) WHAT THE LUANNE! OH, MY GOD.
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE SLEEPING.
( laughing ) BUT YOU GUYS WEREN'T SLEEPING.
EXIT THE MASTER BEDROOM RIGHT NOW! ( sighs ) BOXERS.
LUANNE, WE HAVE RULES IN THIS HOUSE.
WHY ARE YOU GUYS GETTING SO UPSET? I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
YOU SAW YOUR UNCLE'S NIPPLES.
( sighs ) THE WAY I SEE I YOU ARE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF FOUR OF OUR RULES.
YOU HAD IT NOTARIZED? NO WATER USAGE AFTER 10:00 P.
M.
9:00 P.
M.
CURFEW ON SCHOOL NIGHTS ENTERING THE MASTER BEDROOM WITHOUT VERBAL PERMISSION AND YOU'RE BAREFOOT IN THE KITCHEN.
LADY BIRD EATS OFF THAT FLOOR.
GOD ONLY HAS TEN RULES, UNCLE HANK AND HIS HOUSE IS MUCH BIGGER.
ALL RIGHT, DALE, FOR THE LAST TIME I CAN'T TURN IN THIS RENTAL APPLICATION WITHOUT YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER.
FINE.
555-55.
THAT'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH NUMBERS.
FIVE FIVE OKAY, I'M LEAVING YOUR NAME OFF BUT YOU'RE STILL RESPONSIBLE FOR ONE-FOURTH OF THE RENT.
I FIGURE I CAN PULL MY EXTRA WORKBENCH OUT OF PUBLIC STORAGE AND KEEP IT IN THE CLUBHOUSE.
THAT'LL SAVE ME A FEW BUCKS A MONTH.
AND I'VE GIVEN IT SOME THOUGH AND I HAVE DECIDED TO START CHARGING LUANNE SOME REN FOR LIVING IN MY DEN.
SEE, A HOUSE RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME.
THEY WANT TO USE OUR CLUBHOUSE AS THEIR LIVING QUARTERS.
HANK, WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
I DON'T KNOW, KAHN.
THE HOUSE LOOKS NICE BUT THE NEIGHBORHOOD LOOKS A LITTLE HILLBILLY TO ME.
HILLBILLY? HEY, I HAVE AN IDEA.
FOLLOW MY LEAD.
HEY, MR.
KAHN.
THEM SOME FANCY BLUE JEANS Y'ALLS LADY FRIEND IS WEARING.
THEY MUST BE CITY FOLKS.
I JUST WHIPPED UP A NEW BATCH OF POSSUM STEW I'D BE WILLING TO SHARE WITH YOU.
DON'T WORRY.
I TOOK OFF THE FEET.
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? ALL GREAT CHEFS DOING THAT NOW.
WOLFGANG PUCK CUT THE FEET OFF OF EVERYTHING.
Dale: GOT MY OWN FINE LIFE GOT MY OWN FIDDLE SUN'S COMING UP I GOT GRIBBLE, GRIBBLE, GRIBBLE Both: LIFE AIN'T NOTHING BUT A FUNNY, FUNNY RIDDLE THANK GOD, I'M A COUNTRY BOY.
THEY'RE JUST DAY LABORERS.
THEY'RE PUTTING IN MY DECK.
( all chuckling ) OUR PLAN WORKED.
SPIKE, RUDY, BOOMHAUER LET'S CHECK OUT OUR NEW CLUBHOUSE.
YO, MAN, YOU TALKING 'BOUT EVERYBODY GOT A DANG OLE NICKNAME 'CEPT ME, MAN.
I DON'T LIKE IT DANG OLE ODD MAN OUT, MAN.
ALL RIGHT, BOOMHAUER.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE CALLED? OH, B-DOG.
Hank: SO I FIGURE IF WE KNOCK DOWN THAT WALL AND BUILD A NEW WALL OVER THERE, THAT'D BE FUN.
BILL: HEY, A REFRIGERATOR.
LOOK, POPS' LAST BEER.
HUH.
HUH.
TO POPS.
THAT SON OF A BITCH HAD A SWIMMING POOL? I THOUGHT I HEARD SPLASHING.
HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW? YOU LIVED NEXT DOOR TO HIM FOR 18 YEARS.
I THOUGHT HE LIVED ON A LAKE.
WHAT LAKE? IT WAS NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
SO, YOU'RE THE ONES WHO BROKE MY LOCK BOX.
UH, WAS THE OPEN HOUSE CANCELED? I'M SORRY.
THIS HOUSE HAS ALREADY BEEN RENTED TO A LOVELY COLLEGE STUDENT.
COLLEGE STUDENT? NO COLLEGE STUDENT'S GOING TO HAVE A CREDIT HISTORY LIKE MINE.
HERE ARE YOUR KEYS, MS.
PLATTER.
WELCOME HOME.
LUANNE? YOUNG LADY, YOU'D BETTER MARCH RIGHT BACK INTO HANK'S DEN.
THAT'S YOUR HOME AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR HOME, RIGHT, HANK? LUANNE, WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME.
Hank: I WON'T BE STINGY WITH THE TAPE, LUANNE-- YOU TAPE AWAY.
IT'S NOT THAT I WANT TO MOVE IT'S JUST THAT I HATE LIVING HERE.
THERE'S JUST TOO MANY RULES.
YEP.
WAY TOO MANY RULES.
GOOD-BYE.
AND IF I HAVE TO PAY REN I'M NOT GOING TO SLEEP IN A DEN AND SHARE A BATHTUB WITH A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY.
OKAY? RENT? EXCUSE ME.
HANK, DID YOU PASS A NEW LAW WHILE THIS HILL WAS NOT IN SESSION? JUST TIED UP A RENTAL LOOPHOLE.
THE IMPORTANT THING IS SHE'S HAPPY.
AND I'M NOT PAYING FOR IT ALL ALONE.
SEE, THIS FRIEND OF MINE WHO GOT KICKED OUT OF HER APARTMEN SHE HAD THREE ROOMMATES WHO ALSO GOT KICKED OUT OF THE APARTMEN AND SHE SAID I COULD HAVE THEM.
I DON'T KNOW.
I JUST THINK THAT I SHOULD MOVE OU BEFORE WE END UP HATING EACH OTHER.
OH, LUANNE, WE COULD NEVER HATE SHE'S MAKING A GOOD POINT, PEGGY.
WE LOST EVERYTHING SO FAST.
AND HANK DID NOTHING TO STOP I LIKE THE SWISS.
HOW'S YOUR PRECIOUS DEN? VISUAL CONFIRMATION.
ROOMMATE NUMBER ONE: FEMALE.
SHE'S DATING A JARHEAD, HUH? WELL, MY FIRST CHOICE WAS THE MARINES BUT I COULDN'T DO ENOUGH SIT-UPS TO BE A MARINE CORPS BARBER.
SEMPER FI.
Hank: OH, GREAT, WE GOT A DISCO DANCER.
ANYONE CAN MOVE SLOW.
SHH SH-SH-SHAW ( horn honking ) HEY.
HEY, GUYS DRINKING BEER YOU'RE IN MY PARKING SPOT.
NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
THIS IS WHERE WE ASSEMBLE.
ALWAYS HAS BEEN.
WELL, ALWAYS HAS BEEN TEXAS PENAL CODE 4-9.
02 WHICH PROHIBITS PUBLIC DRUNKENNESS.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? NOBODY'S DRUNK HERE.
I DON'T KNOW, HANK, I'M PRETTY BUZZED.
MY LEASE SAYS THIS IS MY SPACE.
( all yelp ) HEY! THOUGHT SO.
GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU ROOMMATE NUMBER THREE.
I KIND OF LIKE HER.
( sighs ) ( country music plays ) HUH? ( music playing in distance ) ( music stops ) LITTLE HELP? ( music starts ) THANK YOU.
( music starts ) ( music stops ) NOW, YOU'VE GOT A LAWSUIT.
THE AUDACITY.
I HAVE UNPLUGGED YOUR HOUSE FROM MY HOUSE.
MM, THAT'S NOT VERY NEIGHBORLY OF YOU.
YOU KNOW, WHEN IT HITS 105 DEGREES AND YOU WANT TO USE MY POOL AND DRINK MY SOY SHAKES I'M GOING TO REMEMBER THIS.
YEAH? WELL, THERE GOES YOUR WELCOME-WAGON TOOL SET.
YOU HAPPY? Luanne: SO WHO'D LIKE TO MEET MY OTHER ROOMMATES? THE MANGER BABIES.
THIS IS SIR REGINALD FEATHERBOTTOM THE THIRD.
AND OH I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.
I PERFORM A CHRISTIAN PUPPET SHOW AND OKAY.
WE NEED TO GO TO THE GROCERY STORE.
I ALREADY WENT TO THE STORE.
AND SIR REGINALD NOTICED HOW EXPENSIVE FOOD IS THESE DAYS.
THERE'S FOOD? THEY'RE NOT GOING TO LEAVE YOU A SPECK, WHAT, WHAT.
( sighs ) ONE IN THE GARAGE, ONE IN THE DEN.
WHATCHA DOIN'? OH NOTHING.
JUST, UH WORKING ON MY DEN.
I ALWAYS WANTED A CLUBHOUSE WITH A SECRET KNOCK.
HOW ABOUT, UH ( tapping "Shave and a Haircut" ) NO, THAT'S THE SECRET KNOCK AT THE GUN CLUB.
I DON'T WANT TO GET CONFUSED.
HOW ABOUT THIS? UH, YOU KNOW, PART OF THE REASON I AGREED TO THE CLUBHOUSE IDEA WAS THAT ONE OF THE BEDROOMS OVER THERE WAS GOING TO BE MY PRIVATE DEN AND, WELL, NOW THAT I'VE GOT MY DEN ( clears throat ) OUR CLUBHOUSE.
MY DEN.
YEP.
THAT'S THE OFFICIAL KNOCK.
IT'LL HOLD US UNTIL I GET A RETINA SCANNER.
( sighs ) HEY, GUYS, I FIGURED OUT ALL THE BILLS.
I USED ADDITIONS AND SUBTRACTIONS.
OOH, WOW, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER.
SEE, I HAVE A BIKE RACE COMING UP AND THERE'S GOING TO BE THIS CHICK THERE THAT I DIG SO I NEED A NEW SHIRT THAT REALLY SPORTS MY ABS.
I MEAN, CHECK IT OUT.
YEAH, I CAN'T PAY THIS RIGHT NOW, EITHER.
I'M GOING TO VEGAS THIS WEEKEND.
UM OKAY.
KATE? THE PHONE BILL IS PRETTY MUCH 100% YOURS.
SO, ANYWAY, MY LITTLE SISTER SHE BORROWED MY KANGOL HAT.
YES, I'M MAD.
LISTEN WHEN I SIGNED UP FOR PHONE SERVICE I SIGNED A DOCUMENT THAT SAID I WOULD PAY ON TIME.
I SWORE IT ON MY MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME! YOU'RE KIND OF BEING A HOUSE NAZI RIGHT NOW, LUANNE.
HELLO.
I THOUGHT WE AGREED NO SMOKING IN THE HOUSE.
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD ANTI-SMOKING LAWS? UH, WHO WAS IT? OH, YEAH.
HITLER.
( coughing ): NAZI.
( jingle plays on TV ) LUANNE! WHAT'S UP, GIRLFRIEND? I HAVE NOT SEEN YOU IN THE LONGEST.
OH, OKAY.
YOU GUYS ARE FINISHED WITH DINNER ALREADY.
WHY? ARE YOU HUNGRY? LUANNE, ARE YOU EATING? DO YOU NEED MONEY? GET MY PURSE.
NO, NO, NO, AUNT PEGGY, NO.
I'M ON MY OWN NOW AND I DON'T NEED HELP FROM ANYONE.
OH, BUT I AM DOING A BOOK REPORT ON WHAT PEOPLE EAT FOR DINNER.
SO WHAT DID YOU EAT? LET ME FIX YOU A TO-GO PLATE.
HEY, LUANNE, WHAT YOU GOT THERE? NOTHING.
THIS ISN'T MINE.
IT'S NICE TO SEE LUANNE ONCE IN A WHILE.
KNOWING SHE'LL BE LEAVING KIND OF MAKES IT LIKE A FUN GAME.
THERE IS NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT STARVATION.
EXCEPT FOR COMIC RELIEF, OF COURSE.
NOW, LUANNE IS VERY PROUD AND MAY NOT ACCEPT OUR CHARITY BUT SHE IS ALSO VERY HUNGRY SO, WHO KNOWS? LUANNE IS USUALLY HOME FROM WORK BY NOW.
WHOA! WHOA! GUYS CAN SHAVE THEIR LEGS, TOO? THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.
PEGGY! BOBBY! SORRY, DAD.
HEADS UP.
DER FUEHRER'S HOME FROM WORK.
WHOSE TURN IS IT TO TAKE THE TRASH OUT? DON'T MAKE ME GET OU THE CHORE WHEEL.
OH UNCLE HANK, AUNT PEGGY, YOU'RE HERE.
WE BROUGHT A CASSEROLE FOR DINNER.
NO.
NO.
NO.
I WON'T HEAR OF IT! I'M ON MY OWN NOW AND I CAN MAKE YOU DINNER.
DINNER.
I'M ON IT.
OH, GOD, CRAP.
DINNER.
UH WHERE ARE CRACKERS? WHERE IS MY MACARONI AND THE CHEESE? WHERE ARE MY STEAK-UMS? THAT IS IT! WHO ATE ALL MY FOOD? COME FORWARD! I NEEDED A CARBO-LOAD.
( shrieks ) GRIFFIN! EW! WE SAID NO SHAVING IN THE LIVING ROOM UNLESS IT WAS AN EMERGENCY.
YUCK SIEG HEIL.
WHEN I THINK OF HOW MANY STUPID ONION LOAFS I HAD TO SELL SO YOU PEOPLE COULD TALK ON THE PHONE AND EAT MY COOKIES IT MAKES ME SO ( groaning ) ( grunting ) ( whispering ): HANK, MAYBE WE SHOULD INTERVENE.
YOU GO TALK TO THE GERMAN ONE.
WE HAVE RULES IN THIS HOUSE! WE ALL AGREED TO THEM, PEOPLE! I'M COUNTING AT LEAST ( sputters ) 12! 12 VIOLATIONS! OH MY GOD I HAVE BECOME YOU.
OH ( crying ): I HATE MYSELF.
I'M WORRIED ABOUT LUANNE.
SHE HATES HERSELF BECAUSE SHE'S BECOME BOBBY? I MEAN, WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT? HANK, SHE WAS POINTING AT YOU.
SHE'S BECOME YOU AND THAT IS WHY SHE HATES HERSELF.
OH, WELL, THEN SHE'S JUST CRAZY.
HANK, PLEASE TALK TO HER.
I-I CAN HEAR HER CRYING IN HER ROOM.
HER ROOM? MY DEN.
AND FOR ALL WE KNOW, SHE COULD BE LAUGHING.
ALL RIGHT.
( sobbing ) IT IS VERY SAD TO SEE PEOPLE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS.
YES, IT IS.
ALL RIGHT, BILL, DALE, BOOMHAUER, GET OUT.
COME ON.
( sighs ) SPIKE, DASH, B-DOG.
YOU KNOW, BACK IN YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU SAID, "I'VE BECOME YOU.
" YEAH? WELL, YOU SAID IT LIKE, "I'VE BECOME YOU.
" WHEN, WELL, YOU PROBABLY COULD HAVE SAID IT MORE LIKE "HEY, I'VE BECOME YOU!" WHAT? YOU SEE, LUANNE A LOT OF GOOD STUFF HAPPENED IN THE WORLD WHEN PEOPLE WERE LIKE ME.
SURE, THEY'LL NEVER WRITE A HOLLYWOOD MUSICAL ABOUT A FELLOW WHO KEEPS HIS YARD FREE OF DEBRIS AND PAYS HIS BILLS ON TIME AND THE MTV WON'T PUT ON A VIDEO ABOUT A MAN WHO REQUIRES SHOES IN THE KITCHEN BUT IT'S BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE US BUT I'M NOT LIKE YOU! THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH FOR ME! AND OH AND ALL THE BILLS AND THEY MOOCH MY FOOD AND THEY'RE ALWAYS ON THE PHONE! AND I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I CAN'T STAND ONE MORE DAY! THEY'RE WEARING MY SOCKS, UNCLE HANK! ( hyperventilating ) OH, GOD! OH, GOD, I NEED A PAPER BAG! NOW, TAKE IT EASY.
YOU DIDN'T SEE ME GETTING ALL HUFFY EVERY TIME YOU MADE ME MAD.
I MADE YOU MAD? SURE.
AND YOU WERE THREE TIMES THE PAIN IN THE BUTT THESE KIDS ARE.
OH, GOOD.
THEN YOU'LL BE ABLE TO HANDLE THEM FOR ME.
MAYBE I COULD BUT I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU A FISH, LUANNE.
I WANT TO TEACH YOU HOW TO FISH.
THAT WAY, YOU'LL EAT FOREVER.
HELLO, I'M WITH THE ELECTRIC COMPANY.
DON'T MIND ME.
I'LL ONLY BE A MINUTE.
( sniffs ) I'M ON BREAK.
PLEASE, CONTINUE WITH YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
DO NOT WORRY.
I AM DEAF AND CANNOT HEAR WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.
YOU KNOW, LUANNE, YOU AND I BOTH WANTED A LITTLE PLACE OF OUR OWN.
I THOUGHT MY DEN WOULD BE MY OASIS BUT NOW THE ONLY PLACE I CAN GET AWAY FROM THE VARIOUS ANNOYANCES IN MY LIFE IS "IS"? IS MY LAWN.
WHEN I'M OUT THERE MOWING, EDGING, WATERING EVEN FERTILIZING NOTHING ELSE MATTERS.
YEP, THAT'S WHAT YOU GOT TO DO, LUANNE.
FIND YOURSELF A PROJECT.
FIND YOUR OWN LAWN.
THAT'S IT?! I COULDN'T HELP BUT OVERHEAR YOUR UNCLE'S BAD ADVICE.
WHAT? AHA! IT IS I, DALE GRIBBLE MASTER OF A THOUSAND FACES.
YOU JUST MET FACE NUMBER TWO: THE DEAF ELECTRICIAN.
THE ONLY THING YOUR ROOMMATES-- I.
E.
, ENEMIES-- WILL UNDERSTAND IS FEAR-- I.
E.
, PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE-- ( whispers ): I.
E.
, DIRTY TRICKS.
IT WORKED FOR DICK NIXON.
WELL, BUT FOR EXAMPLE, GET AHOLD OF SOME GOAT'S BLOOD TAINT THAT BLOOD.
THEN, WHEN YOUR ROOMMATES NEED BLOOD GIVE THEM THE TAINTED GOAT'S BLOOD.
IT'S A PERFECT PLAN.
I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE.
I JUST WANT THEM TO DO THE DISHES.
OH.
WELL, IN THAT CASE, STACK THE DISHES IN THE SHOWER.
THAT'S THE WAY NANCY GETS ME TO DO THEM.
LUANNE, DO YOU MIND? ICK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WELL, SOMEBODY LEFT A BUNCH OF DISHES IN THE SHOWER.
THAT'S KIND OF RUDE.
GOOD LORD! I HATE THESE PEOPLE! I KNOW, JESUS, I KNOW.
YOU TOLD ME NEVER TO SAY HATE.
I'M SORRY, LORD.
I REALLY, REALLY DO.
Dale: TRUTH OR DARE? DARE.
( sighs ) HEY, UNCLE HANK.
GUESS WHAT? RIGHT THIS SECOND THE P.
H.
BALANCE IN THIS POOL IS ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.
SO, YOU FOUND YOURSELF A PROJECT.
DO YOU GET THE SAME, UH, HIGH I GET FROM LAWN CARE? YOU KNOW, I THINK I DO.
( music stops ) EXCUSE ME.
YOU DIDN'T PAY YOUR BILLS, DID YOU? OH, WELL, LUANNE, AT LEAST YOU TRIED.
OH, I PAID MY BILLS.
AND THEN I CLOSED ALL THE ACCOUNTS.
( chuckles ) IF MY ROOMMATES WANT GAS, WATER, ELECTRICITY OR A PHONE THEY CAN JUST OPEN UP THEIR OWN ACCOUNTS.
SIMPLE AS THAT.
YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE EVER UP LATE STUDYING FOR A TES AND YOU WANT A LITTLE ELECTRICITY I'VE STILL GOT THAT EXTENSION CORD.
NO, THANKS, UNCLE HANK.
YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO FISH.
YEP.
YEP.
THIS PLACE LOOKS TERRIBLE! YOU AIN'T POPS.
OH, THAT OLD GUY, YEAH.
HE DIED.
DEAD? THEN I'M ARRESTING YOU FOR SUSPICION OF MURDER.
GRAB HIM, TOPSY.
ALL RIGHT, BOY, JUST COME A LITTLE CLOSER.
HEY, GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, YOU NAZI! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A NAZI?! NO! ALL RIGHT, TOPSY, LET'S ROLL.
Dale: TRUTH OR DARE? Bill: DARE.