House, M.D. s05e05 Episode Script

Wow.
Yeah.
Come back to bed.
Give me a minute.
You get 20 seconds.
Hey.
What are you Female, late 20s, tonic-clonic seizure.
Duration of the seizure? A little over three minutes.
Does your friend have a history of epilepsy? She never said.
My name is Dr.
Cameron.
You're in a hospital.
We're gonna take care of you.
What's her name? I don't know.
House? I have a case I think you might be interested in.
Not now.
Twenty-six-year-old woman had a tonic-clonic seizure.
What about me speeding away says to you "let's chat"? History of fatigue, and two years ago she had a retinal vein occlusion.
She's diabetic.
No, she's not, and she has no history of hypertension.
It can wait.
I knew I should have set up the video camera.
Stay there.
Oh, my goodness, I played a practical joke on my best friend and he's badly injured.
Wish I'd learnt this valuable lesson earlier.
I was waiting by my window for an hour.
Why are you late? I had a breakfast meeting at Mickey's Diner with the Mercy people to tell them I'm coming back to work here.
Sorry if it interfered with your plan to maim me.
Donut's a nice touch.
That's just my way of saying welcome back.
The seizure could be the result of dehydration or something neurological.
Or the Ecstasy you found in her system.
According to Dr.
Hadley, the patient took the drugs about five hours before the seizure, so How does Thirteen know about it? Apparently, she was with the patient last night.
At 3:00 a.
M? Oh, yeah.
Penthouse Forum meets medical mystery.
Maybe there is a God.
Empty, transient sex? I've been waiting for you to spiral out of control ever since you got your Huntington's diagnosis but this is more than I dared hope for.
The patient's seizure resulted from dehydration which resulted from a cocktail of alcohol and ecstasy.
Mystery solved.
Wait, were you doing drugs? Not diagnostically relevant.
That's what we're trying to diagnose.
It's how steep of a spiral you're on.
Our patient hemorrhaged into her eye two years ago.
Also not diagnostically relevant.
Retinal vein occlusion was fixed.
Her doctor said it was a venous anomaly.
Is he in this room? Because if he's not, I don't care what he thinks.
Unless he's a she, and she was there last night, too in which case, I care very deeply.
What if the eye problem wasn't with her vein, but with her blood? It would explain why she seized, why she's always tired.
She parties until 3:00 a.
m.
, that's why she's always tired.
Yet, you seem fine.
She's visited four other doctors in the past year none of them found anything.
She's a hypochondriac who drank too much.
Blood clots could explain everything.
Makes sense.
Bone marrow's in overdrive, too many platelets.
Sorry.
Thirteen, go stick a needle in your girlfriend's pelvis.
And, no, that one wasn't a metaphor.
Suck out some marrow.
That one was.
I like to watch.
I can handle this alone.
You've already handled it that's why you need a chaperone.
Of course, I'm a very permissive, understanding chaperone so feel free to ignore me you know, if you're in the mood to start kissing or groping or showering You'll have to excuse Dr.
House, he mistakes immaturity for edginess.
You're Dr.
House? I assume my name came up last night in the form of a moan.
You had sex, then a seizure.
Could be a particular position or activity that set it off.
That sounds like a valid medical theory, doesn't it? I'm really sorry, just ignore him.
Whatever you think we did, we did.
And then some.
Lights on or off? You got a medical rationalization for that one? Light sensitivity could On.
Huh! Figured she had more shame than that.
She talk dirty, or make you rely on vague hand signals? She's pretty direct about what she wants.
I'm learning so much.
Okay, score the score, scale of one to 10.
Don't answer.
Seven.
Finally get one right.
You want to investigate him because he ate a donut? He claimed he had a morning meeting at Mickey's Diner.
Wilson loves Mickey's Diner.
He has the French Toast Tower whenever he sets foot in the door.
There's no way he would have come to work wanting more carbs.
He lied to me.
I need to know why.
What do you think you'll find out? I'm worried that he might be a spy.
He's been gone four months.
You're worried the friendship has changed.
I'm just not sure if he's working for Hirohito or the New England Patriots.
You played a practical joke on him, he didn't laugh I need something to lord over him, a lie.
he didn't try to retaliate, he moralized.
He always moralized.
And he always moralized and got even.
He hasn't fired back.
Things always change.
And that sucks.
Yeah.
Find out where he was.
I should've known it wasn't a coincidence.
I found your letters.
You recognized House's name, and you're the first patient I've seen who actually enjoyed being accosted by him.
I would've told you, but What exactly would you have told me? That you slept with me to get to House? That you've been trying to get him to take your case for over a year? I'm sick, no one even wrote back.
You used me.
My motives were clear.
You might've figured out my motives faster if you had bothered to ask my name.
I followed you to that bar because I wanted to talk to you see if you'd help me get to House.
I didn't expect you to be so aggressive.
Was that seizure even real? Why would I fake a symptom? It would just make it harder for House to diagnose me.
There's nothing to diagnose.
Your biopsy results are negative.
Then it's something else.
Get dressed.
I'm discharging you.
House admitted me.
He obviously thinks House is using you as an excuse to stick his nose in my personal life.
I'm tired all the time.
Some nights I fall asleep at 10:00 and wake up at noon, still tired.
Every doctor I see, tells me there's nothing wrong.
And that proves what, exactly? That they're wrong or that you're wrong? Come on, you expect me to believe Sit back, deep breaths.
Try and relax.
Get the paddles, she's gonna crash.
Damn.
We had to use paddles to stabilize the patient's heart.
Eye issue, brain issue, now a heart issue sounds like a real case to me.
Yeah, I get it.
I was wrong.
Can we move on? You're just upset because the whole time she was with you she was thinking about my huge, throbbing diagnostic skills.
Drugs would explain everything.
This morning you rejected drugs.
That's when I thought that Thirteen was right and I was just jerking her around.
Cardiac arrest means she could be a serious user.
Great.
What? That means that something she did at my place set this off either she brought drugs in or she grabbed something from my medicine cabinet.
And that means my place needs to be searched.
Now, I'd be happy to do that myself but unfortunately, that would be far less titillating for House so he's about to come up with some convoluted medical reason why I have to stay here while he goes through my stuff.
Patient's dad had bypass surgery means she's a candidate for atherosclerosis, she needs an ultrasound.
That was much less convoluted than what you just said.
I'm not giving you my keys.
If you want to do this, I'm going.
Who can pick a lock? I'll go.
Make sure he doesn't steal any underwear.
You're a disgrace to your stereotype.
Move over.
Think you can pick a lock faster than me? No need to pick.
Nice.
Steal from your employees.
Never.
I had my dick make keys when I hired him to dick up the team.
I always imagined she'd have a sex swing in the living room.
Give me my key.
Don't have your key.
You expect me to believe that you hired Lucas to investigate everyone except for me? Waste of money.
I already know everything about you.
Thirteen had her purse, that's gotta be the patient's.
Check it for drugs.
I call shotgun on her bedroom.
You know that I stole a car when I was a teenager.
You know that my mom has Alzheimer's.
You know nothing else.
Want me to have you investigated? When did you get so needy? I'm not needy, I just don't buy it.
You always want more information about people.
Look where we are.
Purse is clean.
Last night wasn't the first time that Thirteen brought home some strange.
If you found her diary No toys.
When you sleep with the same person over and over that's when you need accessories.
First time is plenty exciting on its own.
Unless You think an asthma inhaler could be used as a sex toy? There are ways of getting to know people without committing felonies.
People interest me.
Conversations don't.
Because conversations go both ways.
Like Thirteen.
Like Thirteen.
Brown recluse, found it at your apartment.
Their venom can cause seizures and heart problems.
Unless the ultrasound showed anything.
No.
What room did you find it in? Bathroom.
Nice bidet, by the way.
Very refreshing.
I don't have a bidet.
Oh.
Spider's not the only interesting thing I found.
Yeah, my inhaler is fascinating.
It's got its own extensive online following.
You have asthma? When I was a kid.
It started acting up again when I moved into my new place.
You moved? Who cares? He doesn't.
He's just surprised he didn't know.
You withhold things other people would never bother to.
A move, a little wheeze whatever you thought was in my pocket instead of your inhaler.
Maybe I should make a return trip to your place.
A spider bite doesn't explain anything unless the patient was actually bitten by a spider.
I'll do the exam.
Don't be ridiculous, that'd be inappropriate.
It'd be better if a woman gropes her.
There's no sexual tension that way.
I need you to stand up and take off your gown.
I think I would've felt a spider biting me.
Not necessarily.
You really need those after everything we did the other night? The other night I wasn't your doctor.
How long are you going to stay mad at me? How long are you going to be here? Okay, then.
Look I really had no intention of ever seeing you again.
So, having me end up here is a little less than ideal.
I get it.
But we just met.
How did you know you didn't want to see me again? It's nothing personal.
I'm just really not that into repeat performances.
I figured I wasn't the first girl you cruised.
Why is that? You're awfully good at it.
You'd think with all that experience that I'd be better than a seven.
We just met, we were both drunk.
Not like there wasn't potential.
A little more practice for the both of us I'd say we're looking at a nine, easy.
But that would require a repeat performance.
You didn't have to move your hand.
I didn't.
My hand's on your hip, you don't feel that? No.
What does that mean? It means it's not a spider bite.
Blood test confirms low potassium levels explains the numbness in her hip.
It's not good, but I think we've got time for at least one or two comments about my personal life.
Which you just wasted with that comment about my comments.
Low potassium means her heart problem is a symptom of a kidney problem.
What caused the kidney problem? Could be IgA nephropathy.
Not without blood in the urine.
PSAGN? Not with normal blood pressure.
Renal tubular acidosis? Her kidneys don't filter acid out of the blood excess acid drives down potassium, causes kidney calcifications.
If it's RTA, all she needs is sodium bicarbonate for the acid and surgery to remove the calcifications.
CT her kidneys.
If you find calcifications, we have our diagnosis.
What's he doing now? Mmm-mmm.
He's playing that car jacking video game.
He'd get a lot farther if he didn't stop at all the red lights.
Maybe he was doing something he thinks I'll mock him for.
Like just about anything.
You don't think it's that.
I don't think it's "just about anything"? You don't think it's about anything trivial.
If you weren't worried, you wouldn't be sitting in my car.
Maybe he's seeing a shrink.
That does not look like a pizza delivery.
Doesn't matter if it isn't, Wilson doesn't buy his pizza.
Eight units in this building there's gotta be a pervert like me living in at least one of them.
Yes, because you represent one out of every eight people living in this country.
Well, apparently, he has developed a taste for pizza.
Things change.
CT shows one more calcification near the superior pyramid on the left kidney.
See it.
That thing you were hoping House didn't find at your place.
I found it.
You did the CAG test two weeks ago.
A number this high means you have less time than you thought.
It's understandable you'd be upset.
It doesn't mean you have to self-destruct.
It's not noble for you to protect me from House if you're just going to judge.
There are things you should be doing working out, improving balance and coordination Yeah, that sounds like a blast.
I'm having fun, cramming as much life into my life as I can.
You're doing drugs, staying up all night, having sex with strangers.
It sounds fun to me.
Good night.
Close the incisions.
She won't even have a scar.
Her O2 Sats are dropping.
Did you nick something? The procedure was clean, BP's strong.
Well, she's not breathing.
We need to intubate.
The breathing problem started after we fixed her kidney problem means the RTA isn't the underlying cause.
Where's Thirteen? Traffic's bad, she's probably just Not here.
It's not her lungs.
No masses, no infiltrates.
Her lungs are working, but she still can't breathe.
Distribution plant can't distribute if it's not getting deliveries.
If her lungs are fine, maybe the problem's in the supply line airway collapse.
That could signal autoimmune or some kind of dystrophy as the underlying cause.
There's only way to find out if her airway failed.
Make it happen again.
Stick Thirteen's carpet cleaner on a treadmill, methacholine challenge.
And someone find the carpet.
Exam going on, 15 minutes.
Morning, Dr.
Hadley.
Just spoke to my brother.
And by brother you mean I mean, my parents' other son.
Wow, same dad.
He got a call last week from your PI.
You lied.
You did have me investigated.
You've been taunting the team with what you've learnt but you never came after me.
Means you couldn't find anything.
You're right.
That's because you haven't done anything stupid spontaneous, or even vaguely interesting since you were 17.
And that's just sad.
I found her in the clinic giving herself IV fluids.
At least you could've let her finish.
She looks terrible.
She has a fresh nightclub stamp on her wrist.
She's in no condition to practice.
Unless this is a prelude to an actual spanking there's no reason for me to be I want her to take a drug test.
You can't make me do that.
But I can suspend you until you do.
Because she went to a nightclub in her free time? Or because she had sex in her free time? The patient was undergoing a routine surgery for RTA.
I didn't need Thirteen here for that and I don't need you making my employees punch a clock or pee in a cup.
Let's go.
Come on.
Thank you.
By the way, the surgery was not routine the patient stopped breathing, and you missed a differential.
You're fired.
What? You just defended me.
No, I just prevented you from getting a drug test, probably saved your career.
I'm already taking responsibility for one doctor with a drug habit.
I don't have a drug habit.
The slutty party girl is fun till she pukes on your shoes, then she's just a pain in the ass.
I haven't sat on this couch for four months.
It remembers my cheeks.
I've missed this.
Me, too.
Me trying to work, you interrupting.
Come on, your patients can wait five minutes, get me caught up.
Come on.
What did you do? Travel? Did you get a new hobby? Did you meet someone? Actually, yes, I sort of started dating someone.
Great.
What does she do? Is she an actress? No.
Why would you think that? I just figured you'd want something a little more exciting She's not You're gonna find out anyway because you're gonna meet her.
She's a prostitute.
Used to be.
She made some mistakes.
Single mom, had some drug issues but she's so smart.
She wants to go to law school and I told her I'd help her with tuition.
How long have you known her? I knew you'd be like this.
I asked a question.
House, you are a drug addict you go to prostitutes, you can't be judgmental.
And yet Please, don't do this to me.
I was hurting, and I wanted to feel good.
I didn't expect it to go this way.
Amber said that she wanted me to move on that she wanted me to be happy and Debbie makes me happy.
If you're happy, I'm I heard.
Yeah.
I'm looking for my ticket back.
I'm sorry if I upset you.
I didn't want to invade your privacy It wasn't your fault.
Can you get me caught up? You think you're going to find something we didn't? It's good for the patient, good for me.
Films are clean, we ruled out hypertension the guys have her on a treadmill running a methacholine challenge.
And I still think you've been acting like an idiot.
I know.
Did you talk about whether this lung field looks a little dark? It's probably just overexposed.
Or her diaphragm's a little flat.
Could be a sign of hyperinflation.
Suggests a pulmonary obstruction.
Lung cysts, they wouldn't show up on an X-ray.
The treadmill test isn't gonna close her airway, it'll make her lungs explode.
Her throat's fine.
We made her airway collapse, but it's not collapsed.
You ruptured a cyst, her lung collapsed.
Breath sounds on both sides.
Move.
Trachea's deviating to the left.
Nice.
Chest CT confirmed multiple lung cysts one of which burst during the treadmill test.
Luckily, Thirteen figured out the problem and was there to re-inflate her lung.
Lung cysts plus all her other symptoms, could be amyloidosis which we can manage, or pulmonary fibrosis, which Thank you.
My employees can take care of it from here.
We need to biopsy the cysts.
You fired me because I screwed up.
I just proved I can pull my weight.
All you proved is you know how to make an entrance.
House, she deserves another shot.
She found the cysts, saved the patient Who wouldn't have needed saving if Thirteen had shown up to the differential in the first place.
Give her job back, House.
Or what? You're gonna quit? Go do the biopsy.
I'm sorry.
How much clearer do I need to make this? What does it even mean, dating a hooker? He's an idiot with a messiah complex savior to all who need saving.
That's why his first wife had a wooden leg his second wife was Canadian.
He's the one who needs to be saved.
From you or the ho? The ho's just using him for his money.
Wait, it was a bad example.
Normally, in these situations, I'd follow the girl find out something embarrassing about her to show him.
But since that's our starting position We proceed directly to the leg breaking.
I'm not breaking her legs, she probably has a pimp or at least an older brother or younger brother, or overprotective sister Find her.
Find her family.
Find client number 9.
Just get me something I can use to force her to back off.
Sorry to interrupt your meeting, Mannix.
Here's the result from the lung biopsy.
Why not men? You're bisexual.
If you were just being self-destructive you'd be having random sex with men.
Better chance of getting assaulted, catching a disease.
If this were just about getting laid it'd be a lot easier to pick up men or ugly girls.
This woman's hot, which means you like the challenge, the conquest.
It's the control that gets you off.
And controlling women is as close as you can get to controlling what's going to happen to you.
Here I thought I was just into boobs.
Instead of getting sweaty with a stranger why don't you try taking it to the next level? Play God.
Tell a girl that she's got 10 years to live.
She has LAM.
Okay.
This is not a test.
You're not getting your job back if you can I know what it's like to get this news and no one should have to get it from you.
Hey.
The biopsy of your lung cyst showed smooth muscle cells.
That's indicative of a disease called LAM.
What do you do for that? Surgery to remove the cysts but they'll come back.
Little by little, the cysts replace healthy lung tissue until your lungs stop working.
I'm going to die.
Yes.
I'm so sorry.
They removed all the cysts they could.
That should help you breathe better.
How long until the cysts come back? We don't know exactly.
I'm sorry.
Stop saying you're sorry.
I know you're scared.
I don't know what I feel.
You're going to be numb for a few more days.
Then you'll go home and cry for a few weeks.
And then you get angry, start telling yourself nothing matters anymore.
You start doing stupid things.
Maybe you go out to bars and pick up a bunch of women.
You're How long do you have? Maybe a little more than you, maybe a little less.
I'll race you.
I was thinking maybe I'd come back later? Sounds good.
Oh, God.
What's going on? All her blood counts are down.
It's a new symptom, aplastic anemia.
Does the word "fired" have some whole other definition that I'm not aware of? I don't work for you.
Fine, don't pay me.
Just let me finish out this case.
So you like her now that she's dying.
What happens if she stops dying? There's no danger of that right now.
If we don't figure out what's wrong with her, she's got days, not years.
Aplastic anemia takes LAM off the table.
Unfortunately, none of our other choices are any better.
PNH with some sort of respiratory infection Best case gives her 12 years.
Or fast-moving Langerhans.
Few months.
Or mastocytosis, which can cause systemic shock and kill her in days.
Go.
Test for everything.
Not you.
You're just a visitor.
How's your patient? She doesn't have Langerhans.
That's good.
Actually, a cancer diagnosis would be good news right now.
Do you think I'm boring? Yes.
You're saying that just to screw with me.
Yeah.
Why would you expect anything else? I expect House to pull my strings I expect Cameron to make me feel better I expect the new team to kiss my ass and I expect you to be honest 'cause you don't give a crap.
Yes, you're boring.
That speech was boring.
Thanks so much.
You don't let other people's problems affect you.
You don't let your own problems affect you.
And it's the screw-ups that make us interesting.
You're never out of control, which is good and boring.
Never losing control also means you're never putting yourself out there never pushing your limits.
On the other hand, you do have a tattoo, so maybe I'm wrong.
I'm glad you're here.
She needs a bone marrow transplant.
Test results are back? What's she positive for? Nothing.
But we've got a donor match.
Jumping to a transplant when we don't know what she I know she has a blood disorder.
Could be PNH.
She needs a bone marrow transplant.
Or leukemia.
She needs a bone marrow transplant.
Or thalassemia.
She needs a bone marrow Yeah, I get it.
But she'll never survive total body irradiation.
So we don't radiate her.
Her marrow's nearly wiped out already, count is almost zero.
"Almost" being the key word.
The new marrow would attack the old marrow.
She'll die from graft-versus-host.
You got a better idea? She trusts you.
Go get her consent.
Sometimes I find out things you'd rather not know.
This was in his trash.
He's using.
You're back.
Genius.
Damn, I knew the fake works was too much.
Well, you had no choice.
Where were you gonna go after fake-hooker-girlfriend? How did you know he was outside? Cane prints.
I'm actually kind of insulted.
No way I'm a drug addict but you completely buy that I fell in love with a prostitute? You played to your strengths.
By which I mean you played to your weaknesses.
Oh, my God.
You invoked your dead girlfriend's name to sell me.
You're my hero.
Best $30 I ever spent.
Thirty? Did you keep her number? Unfortunately, I killed her and buried her in the basement.
Shame.
Hungry? Yeah.
So, seriously, where were you the other morning? Oh, don't make me do this again.
It has nothing to do with you.
Then tell me.
We're going bowling on Monday.
I'm coming over to play poker this weekend.
Nothing's changed.
You have to trust that.
Okay.
You're gonna keep following me, aren't you? It's what we do.
Be outside my apartment at 8:00 tonight.
She said yes to the transplant.
Good.
You're in a downward spiral of destruction.
I can stop.
You're gonna keep spiralling, keep screwing around keep slashing away at every person who tries to help until no one tries to help anymore until you hit bottom, until you're dead.
But until then, I can use you.
You're hiring me back? You did good work.
I did good work yesterday, and I was still fired.
What changed? You wanted me to spend time with her see if I could still make a connection.
You connected with the diagnosis, not with her.
You're trying to save me, trying to control me.
You're doing exactly what you think I'm Cracks.
Your lips are cracked.
Been using your inhaler lately? Allergies.
Don't deflect, you always deflect.
Did she cry? When you told her that she was going to die, did she cry? She got upset, she Were there tears? No.
Chopping an onion releases a mist of Syn-propanethial-S-oxide.
A chemical irritant which causes people to have a very predictable reaction.
She has no tears.
It was either this or put on Brian's Song but I didn't have time to stop by Wilson's.
She has Sjögren's, that attacks the glands that produce tears and saliva.
It also, by the way, causes lung cysts and RTA.
It doesn't cause bleeding.
It's like you and men.
Just because you usually don't doesn't mean you can't.
And it doesn't cause cracked lips in other people.
Lack of spit makes her mouth a breeding ground for a fungus like Candida.
Her asthma inhaler did the same for you wiped out your mouth's immune system.
So, she's got what I've got.
Just the opportunistic infection, not the underlying condition.
Another life saved by girl-on-girl action.
I'm gonna be okay? You're gonna be okay.
Methylprednisolone to get the Sjögren's under control and some artificial tears to maximize the visual impact of this moment.
Spencer's gonna be fine and I hear you got your job back.
I'm gonna keep standing here until you say something.
I feel alone and she hasn't gone anywhere.
She gets to live.
I'm gonna go home.
I'm tired.
What do you think? Oh, my God.
You guys shop here, too? Best nipples in Princeton.
Why are you here? Because he ate the donut.
I'm so sorry.
He must have followed me.
I'm sure.
You're clearly not pregnant.
So either you're buying this as a gift or this is some kind of weird "if you build it, they will come" moment.
I'm adopting a baby.
She asked me to be a character reference.
That's where I was the other morning.
I'm sorry, I couldn't betray her confidence.
I didn't want anyone else to know in case I didn't get approved.
Today, I did.
Are you going to congratulate me? If you're happy, I'm