Mike & Molly s05e07 Episode Script

You know what looks good? The French toast.
I thought you were on a diet.
I am.
But you're not.
I am not gonna be your surrogate eater again.
You know, you're just selfish.
You were born with a body that can eat French toast.
I wasn't.
What?! It's just weird you watching me eat.
Just leering, barking out commands.
"More syrup.
" "Slow down"" "Don't ignore the whipped cream"" Come on, Carl.
Nobody around here's ordered anything I want.
You two ready to order? Oh, where's Samuel? In the can the last two hours.
Want to hear the specials? That depends.
Did Samuel eat a special? Two hours? Should we go check on him? Yeah.
All right, hold our booth.
Two black coffees.
And he'll have the French toast, whipped cream on the side.
He doesn't know to treat it.
Sam, are you in here? Come on, man, I know it's you.
I recognize your wide stance.
Go away.
Come on, Samuel.
That toilet's been busted for months.
Yeah, he should know.
He was a material witness.
I had nothing to do with that.
You can't convict a man just 'cause he's got priors.
I appreciate your concern, but I would like to be alone.
I've just received a very disturbing letter from home.
Aw, geez.
Did-did someone die? No.
Anybody sick? No.
Okay then.
We'll get out of your hair.
"Dear Son "Our village is once again in the grips of a horrible drought.
"Tribal warfare threatens to break out at any minute.
"So it is with deep sadness I inform you "that this month we can only afford to send you $164.
" Wait, your family lives in Africa and they send you money? I know.
I'm pathetic.
Well, no, no, now, you know Well.
Yeah, I'm trying to put a positive spin on this, but I keep picturing a guy covered in flies writing you a check.
Out of 14 children, I was the one they sent to America.
Look at me.
I'm a complete failure.
They put all of their ostrich eggs in the wrong basket.
No.
Now-now, you know Well.
My family can't afford to support me anymore, and I can't afford to live here.
They're telling me I should come back home.
Sorry, pal.
What am I going to do? Oh.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
I might as well get up in this, too.
Oh.
Can you give us a minute? We're just finishing up in here.
La, la-ba-dee-da La, la-ba-dee-da For the first time in my life I see love I see love For the first time in my life I see love Hey, Mol.
Taste this.
Mom and I are perfecting our smoothie recipe.
It's got flax seed, protein powder, kale, and three different kinds of rum.
Whew! That's got quite a kick.
Well, at least I can't taste the kale.
Hey.
Hey.
How was your day? Not good.
Got some bad news.
Looks like Samuel's gonna have to move back to Africa.
Wait, he's leaving? Yeah, he just doesn't have the money to stay Oh, smoothies! Oh, no.
That's terrible.
Wait a minute, how bad is it? Not bad, man more rum, less kale, you got a winner.
No, I mean Samuel.
Oh, I don't know.
I didn't ask.
Well, when is he leaving? No clue.
Well, what's he gonna do when he gets back home? I don't know.
Probably African stuff.
So Samuel is going through something like this, and you didn't find out any details? No, I did not it's called respecting a friend's privacy.
When a guy's going through something, you don't poke your nose in, you avert your gaze and let him go down the drain with dignity.
He's your friend.
He's not a dead goldfish.
You don't get it.
The last thing a guy wants is for his friends to see him vulnerable.
It's like when we shower at the gym eyes forward.
The naked, wet man next to you is invisible.
That's ridiculous.
Well, you say that because shower time for you gals is an excuse to get in each others' business.
Giggling, tickling, lathering each other up.
You forgot the mud wrestling before we get in the shower.
Mom, don't he's gonna think you're serious.
Mike, friends help friends whether they ask for it or not.
We're not gonna just do nothing and then let Samuel leave.
Molly, sometimes nothing is the kindest thing you can do.
Mike, that's a load of crap.
You just don't want to do anything that has real emotions involved.
Exactly.
You get it.
We're saying the same thing.
That was a very nice dinner.
Aw.
Thank you for inviting me over.
Oh, no, that was Molly's idea.
I'm a friend.
I didn't want to go anywhere near you.
No, the reason we had you over, 'cause we're concerned and we care about you.
Right, Mike? Yeah, yeah.
What? I said yes.
Then it might be nice for your friend to hear that from you.
Okay.
I care.
He knows that.
Doesn't mean I don't like to hear it.
Listen, Samuel, I know that things haven't gone quite the way you wanted to since you moved to America.
You mean the fact that my health plan is the first aid kit from Abe's? And that my best hope for retirement is to die at 45? Well, at least you still have your sense of humor.
Did I say something that was funny? No, no, no.
Uh, the my point is that maybe we should not be talking about why you should leave the country but maybe why you should be staying.
You know, that's actually not bad.
Well, thank you.
I mean, it's really about creating an open dialogue - so he feels heard - Molly Just a sec, Samuel.
And how you can give him something positive to take away and keep with him even when you're no longer there to kind of encourage him.
You know what, I was just afraid to see my friend crying in front of me.
Sometimes when you open yourself up to other people's pain, you're the one that ends up getting healed.
You're amazing.
Aw.
So we really haven't solved how I'm going to stay in this country.
You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna have cake.
Huh? Do you want cake? Want cake? Cake? Cake it is! Sounds like a plan to me.
Okay, remember, we're just here to offer Samuel moral support.
So be nice and treat him normally.
Which is it? Are we being nice or treating him normally? I'm just saying, sometimes when you open yourself up to someone's pain, you might be the one who's rewarded.
Hmm.
I know I was last night.
Molly and I couldn't keep our hands off each other.
Uh, uh, hold on.
Uh, I think I almost have enough for the buy-in.
Just put that crap down.
We got your buy-in.
But I can't take your money.
He has his pride.
Can I have my five dollars back? You shut up.
You sit down.
That is very kind of you.
Ah It's good to be with friends.
I'm gonna miss this.
It could actually be our last poker game.
No.
Oh, you mean together.
Yeah, probably.
So five-card stud, quarter ante.
Yeah, well-well, look at the up-side, man.
I mean, you may be a penniless foreigner with no prospects, but you know what you do have? You got a great head of hair.
I'll sell it to you.
I feel bad for you, kid.
It's tough being an immigrant.
Not like when us Italians first came here.
In those days, if you worked hard and paid your dues, my family would leave you alone.
I'm just saying, it's much harder now.
There's got to be a way for you to make more money.
Have you thought about asking Abe for a raise? The man is too cheap.
He wouldn't even buy me a new name tag when I started working there.
Well, your name tag says "Samuel.
" Do I look like a Samuel to you? My real name is Babatunde.
Well, Bobby, here's my advice.
Tell him to give you a raise 'cause the place down the street is offering you a managerial position.
But that is a lie.
No! It's a bluff.
Like in cards.
Sometimes a good bluff is better than a good hand.
I raise ten.
Fold.
I'm out.
Too rich for me.
Hey It's not what you have.
It's what they think you have.
Wait I'm all in.
But not in this case, though.
I got a full house.
Man, you cannot catch a break.
Samuel's been back there a while.
I'm starting to think we sent him down a bad path.
Look, either he comes out with a raise, or he comes out with nothing, which is exactly what he has now.
Plus, a fantastic head of hair.
God, I'm so nervous, I can't even watch you eat.
Hey, what happened? What did he say? Uh, he said he couldn't give me a raise because business hasn't been great.
He showed me all of the books, the operating costs, the debt-to-profit ledger.
Oh, why would he have all that paperwork just sitting around? It turns out, he's trying to sell the place.
But if someone would take on all of the debt, he'd let them have it at a great discount.
Good luck to the idiot who takes that deal.
Thank you.
I'll need it.
Welcome to Babatunde's! So, Abe laid the place off on him for a dollar, and now he's on the hook for a two-year lease and a stack of past-due bills.
There's no way that's legally binding.
It is a contract was witnessed and signed.
Turns out the dishwasher isn't just a pot dealer.
He's also a notary.
Well, what do we do now? Nothing.
Don't you see? He was doing just fine before we stepped in.
He was on the next plane back to Africa.
Well, better on the way to Africa than on the way to bankruptcy.
Well, actually, bankruptcy is not as big a deal as everybody makes of it.
I mean, I've bounced back.
Twice.
What? What? Now, what did you just? What did what did you just? I'm I'm just can we just focus on Samuel, please? Oh, Moll, he's in way over his head.
Look, instead of talking about what's wrong with Samuel, we should we should focus on what's right with us.
What are you doing? Nothing I'm just opening a-a dialogue like we did the other night.
Samuel would want this.
Nice try.
Oh, where you going? I'm going to the diner to see if our friend needs any help.
'Cause unlike you, when I'm in the shower next to a naked man, I look.
All right.
Hello! It's open.
Oh.
Congratulations, restaurant owner.
Wait Well, you-you get it.
Yay! So, how's it going? Ah, what can I say? Yesterday, I was asking for a raise.
Today, I'm giving myself a pay cut.
Oh.
Well, maybe instead of that, you should fire the dishwasher.
I hear he sells drugs.
Hey, thank you for coming.
I'd give you a hug, but there's no reason for both of us to be covered in black mold.
Oh! Oh black mold.
Well, I don't know if it's black mold.
Yeah But it's mold.
Yeah.
And it's black, so Well well, like they always say, if it quacks like a duck, you should put on a face mask.
Well, preventing a terminal lung disease is not high on my list of priorities right now.
It's actually number 257, uh, right after "Get a juke box.
" Listen, Samuel, I I just want you to know, you're not in this alone.
And all your friends are here to support you every step of the way.
The same friends that gave me money to play poker, and then, they cruelly took it away from me? Okay, maybe not those friends, but this one, you know? You know what? I say we attack here we go that to-do list.
Come on, give me the first one on the list.
Uh "Find a friend to co-sign a $20,000 business improvement loan.
" Ooh! "Number two clean floors.
" Let's get on that.
Sweetie, this is a bad idea.
I know, but he wanted to present us with his business plan for the loan.
Yeah, but we can't afford that.
If he defaults, it's on us.
What was I supposed to tell him? "No.
" "No way.
" "No chance.
" "Hell, no.
" Anything from the "no" family.
Okay.
You know that's not my role.
You're the hard-ass, I'm the nice one.
You really think you're the nice one? Shut up, Vince.
Hey You.
Please, sit.
Oh.
No.
Oh, you Thank you for your interest in investing - in Babatunde's Hot Beef.
- Oh.
No.
Not yet.
It-It's all right.
He should be skeptical.
Look at the money this restaurant has lost in the last year alone.
I have worked at that diner for over eight years.
I know what is wrong, and I know how to fix it.
I saw where there was waste.
I saw where there was mismanagement.
And last night, I saw where the rats were coming in from.
Rats? Uh, yes.
Apparently, the black mold was keeping them at bay.
Look I believe the menu needs to be simplified, the quality of food needs to be higher, and in turn, the people will pay more.
I will be diligent, I will work hard, and I will devote my life to making this diner a success.
Really good stuff.
Yes.
Yeah.
Can we, uh can-can we have a second? Oh, take all the time you need.
I know this is a big decision.
Biggest of my life.
Now you can tell him no.
I can't tell him after he poured his heart out you say it.
If I could've said it, I would've said it at the diner.
All right, we'll say "no" together, on three.
Fine.
Okay.
One, two, three.
No! Oh, Mike.
Well If that's his decision.
Aw Look, uh, I believe in you, Samuel, and if anybody can do this, you can.
But you're also a good friend, and I'd hate for money to jeopardize that.
Of course.
I should never have put you in this awkward position.
Hang on.
I'm in.
What? I'll co-sign the loan.
But what about our friendship? What friendship? This is an investment.
I'm always looking for a distressed business to revamp, sell off or burn down.
Oh, Vince, thank you! Just know, I won't work 24-7.
I will work 25-8.
I know, 'cause I'll be on your ass 26-9.
You think we should warn him about getting into business together? Which "him"? Come in.
Come in.
Thank you for making Abe's Whoa! your first choice in hot beef.
Oh.
What happened to calling it Babatunde's? Ah, Vince made a good point.
Uh, right now, we can't afford to change the sign.
Or my name tag.
Well, I love what you've done to the place.
So far, we've just spruced it up a little.
Uh, if you'll notice, your feet no longer stick to the floor.
That's nice.
I like that.
Hey, man, I always knew you could do it.
Yeah, not enough to give me a loan.
No.
Now, now, you know Well You know, just for the record, we were very close to saying yes.
And I was equally close to naming a sandwich after you.
How was that not part of the pitch? We're doing a tasting menu.
So far, all I taste is salt.
Look at this.
I got my own booth where I can hold court.
This is kind of me and Mike's booth.
Not anymore.
I'm an angel investor.
And you two are gonna have to start paying now.
Does he have that kind of power? Mike, you are a good friend, and I would hate for you not paying me money to jeopardize that.
Eh.