Mike & Molly s05e14 Episode Script

Previously on Mike & Molly This book that sits before me is the physical manifestation of all your hard work, the fruits of your labor, the vessel in which you've laid bare your soul, exposing it like a freshly waxed orifice.
Now let me see the orifice! I mean, the-the book.
Gah! The book, the book.
I remember when I was a little girl working on my daddy's farm Oh, please don't tell me a story.
Let me tell you a story.
I was a meek little thing, scared of my own shadow and the sheep I had to castrate.
That's where you learned it? Just when I thought my life couldn't possibly get any worse, a city fella in a '56 Rambler pulled up to the house and asked for directions.
Was that Mike's dad? Hell no.
This was a real man.
Wore a three-piece suit with hard shoes and smelled like a pine forest after a spring rain.
That's very poetic, Peggy.
What he did to me wasn't poetic.
It was filthy.
And I loved it.
All right, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Got to write it down.
Go.
Oh, look at you, writing again.
Yeah, new story.
About a young girl coming of age on a hardscrabble farm at the base of the Mudlick Mountains.
Mudlick? That's-that's where My mom grew up on a farm in Mudlick.
Oh, no! Session one, untitled Biggs-Flynn novel.
Uh, 8:55 a.
m.
Go.
Do you have to use that stupid thing? Well, I don't want to, you know, miss any of the details, and over the years, I've-I've kind of learned to tune you out when you start talking.
Feels like I'm giving a damn deposition.
Like when Mr.
Mariachi Music next door found dog dirt in his mailbox.
Which, again, I had nothing to do with.
Peggy, relax, you're not on trial.
Just tell me your story from the beginning, way before you were torturing your neighbors.
Allegedly.
Okay.
You're a little girl in Mudlick, Missouri.
Just take me through a typical day on the farm.
It's pretty much what you'd expect.
Care to elaborate? Um You know.
No.
I really I really don't.
Come on, give me some details.
The earthy, sharp smell of the barn, or the-the feel of the, you know, threadbare calico on your bony shoulders.
Boy, it's as if you were there.
Well, then tell me what it was like.
Fine.
It's pretty much what you'd expect.
Oh, for crying out loud.
Wait.
You just reminded me of something.
Okay, finally.
If I'm going to make chili tonight, I better go soak those beans.
Friday, 8:58 a.
m.
And if you're listening to this, you know why I killed Peggy Biggs.
La, la-Ba-Dee-da La, la-Ba-Dee-da For the first time in my life I see love I see love For the first time in my life I see love Why does your mother have to make everything so difficult?! I don't know.
Why is the sky blue? Why do I eat my feelings? We'll never know.
I was there for eight hours today.
Want to hear some of the wonderful work that we got done? What's that? That's me vacuuming your mom's house.
And then after that Aw, you fixed her disposal.
Oh, yeah.
And then I changed the lightbulbs, then I took her dog for a walk, all 'cause that was supposed to help her write.
Well, did it? Well, you tell me.
Yeah, she nodded off while I was folding her laundry.
I let her sleep, 'cause I thought maybe she'd talk at least while she was asleep.
Did she? Ah, she just grumbled about closing our borders.
She's impossible.
Wait.
Are you saying my mother's hard to work with? Yes.
That's weird.
'cause with everybody else, she's exactly the same! Will you please just let me complain?! No.
I warned you.
But you chose to partner with Peggy Biggs.
It's like when I ate that Tombstone Meat Lover's Pizza at 1:00 a.
m.
You told me it would give me heartburn.
Which it did! Which is why you wouldn't let me complain about it.
Believe me, I knew of your discomfort.
You "vented" in other ways.
I'll give you the same counsel you gave me.
"Sorry you don't feel good, but you need to take that outside.
" Aw, come on! There he is.
Gentlemen.
I can't believe the warden let you out.
Well, the warden and the executioner are writing together now, so my weekend's free.
I can do whatever I want.
All right.
What do you want to do first? Well, since the ladies are a little tied up with the book, I got to pick up corn pads for my mom at the drugstore, then swing through Target and replace this pillow that's hurting Molly's neck, then a quick stop at the supermarket to pick up the food to cook dinner for my hardworking gals.
Are you kidding? That's how you're gonna spend your freedom? You were better off on the inside.
It's not so bad.
Molly said I can do these things in any order I wanted.
Mike, come on.
We came over to hang out, not run errands.
Bros before chores.
Well, what were you guys gonna do if I wasn't around? We'll start off at the Target.
Watch your head.
Okay.
Don't step in the rat traps.
And if you believe in all that asbestos nonsense, don't breathe too deep.
I never do in your house.
Now, let's see.
I got some photo albums around here somewhere.
Oh, look, Mike's old catcher's mitt.
Nah, that's mine.
From the church softball league.
That's where I learned to chew tobacco.
Oh.
I always wondered how you became such an accurate spitter.
Yeah.
Here we go.
Oh, wedding pictures.
Peggy, you were a beautiful bride.
I was pregnant.
Well, that explains the glow.
Don't tell Mikey.
I wouldn't want him to think less of me.
Not possible.
Hey, do you have any pictures from when you were growing up on the farm? Well, I think there might be here in this box.
Let's see.
Aw, look at that.
What is that? Mikey's hair.
Oh, feel how soft.
You want to touch it? Oh, no, that's okay.
That's okay.
I-I prefer touching the living stuff.
Yeah.
You probably don't want to see his nail clippings then, right? Hey, what's, uh what's in here? Oh, that's nothing just some old blankets, you know.
Oh, like quilts? I'd love to see them.
Yeah, leave it.
Hey, you know, now I think there might be some old photos over here somewhere.
Oh.
Well, you know what? Why don't I start here? You never know what might spark a story.
Yeah, leave it.
All right.
In fact, we should be looking in the garage.
There's nothing up here.
What what are you talking about? This whole place is filled with memories.
Oh Okay! I'm gonna lock the door! You coming or not?! Yeah, just a minute! Ow! Son of a bitch! Reset that rat trap before you come down.
I'm telling you, that woman is driving me nuts.
And I can't even kill her, 'cause I've already confessed to it on tape.
And then today, I'm trying to jog her memory by digging through all these old photos, and she just completely shuts me out.
Mm.
Well, maybe you need to partner up with a woman who has a good story to tell and isn't afraid to work.
Mom, I don't want to write your story.
Are you sure? I got some goodies.
And we're off.
Did I ever tell you I went to Woodstock? No, actually.
What was that like? Amazing.
The music was incredible.
Yeah, and? What do you mean, "and"? You're the writer, fill in the blanks.
I think it's a really good story, Mom.
Thank you.
Help! Little help here! All right.
Steady there, Mother Biggs.
I'm not kidding.
It's like moving a water bed full of schnapps.
God! Where did you find her? Staggering down the street yelling "Molly"" like Brando in Streetcar.
All the houses around here look alike.
Get your hand off my ass.
I'm holding your back.
I got a long crack.
Okay, okay, okay.
Peggy, how much have you had to drink? Don't know.
I'm not done yet.
Okay.
Give me that.
Give me Give me that.
I'll get you some coffee.
Oh, don't bother.
I'm not staying long.
I'm just gonna say my piece and then get the hell out of here.
Okay.
Please, just sit down.
I thought I was.
I'm through with this book business.
You can go suck somebody else dry.
I just remembered another part of the Woodstock story.
Really?! Okay, Peggy, what has gotten into you? I just told you.
We're done.
Give them their money back.
They're my stories, and they're staying right inside of here.
Okay, okay.
Obviously, something is bothering you.
Victoria, go get her a blanket.
We'll just discuss it in the morning.
No, we can discuss it now.
Great, okay.
Go go ahead.
It's none of your business! Oh, boy.
I did that too fast.
Okay.
Okay, I've said what I have to say.
You're a lovely audience, and bye-bye! All right, I know I have to get her! I just don't want to! That can't be good.
Do I want to know? She showed up here drunk.
Drunk? I've seen her have a few beers every now and then, but never drunk.
Well, you missed all the fun.
Barged in here, yelled at me about the book, and then took off like a bat out of hell.
I had to chase her for six blocks.
Good news is she runs like a gazelle with that new hip.
But why? I don't know.
Probably 'cause it's made out of titanium.
Molly I think the idea of her telling her story has freaked her out.
Do you know anything about this hope chest that she has up in her attic? Hope chest? You mean her grudge box? 'Cause she keeps that right by her bed.
No.
This is something else, and it really set her off.
Okay, well, I'm telling you right now, I think the best thing to do is just drop this whole book thing.
What? No.
We made a deal.
They gave us an advance.
It doesn't matter.
If something's bothering Peggy Biggs, you best not poke at it, unless you want your mail postmarked with a dog turd.
Well, what are we supposed to do? Just pretend like none of this ever happened? Now you got it.
That's ridiculous.
It's the way it is.
Well, how is anybody supposed to heal or to feel better? In my family, nobody wants to do any of those things.
Look, when one of us is upset, the general rule is: pretend like it's not happening.
Talk about sports, the weather, anything but the actual problem.
It's what we call good manners.
Well, I call it denial.
You can call it what you want.
It's the Biggs way.
What the hell happened? You had too much to drink, Ma.
You know, I-I tend to do that when something's bothering me.
And you know what helps? Talking about it.
You can go to hell, and you can take me home.
See? It's just good manners.
Looks like rain.
It sure does.
So you two are done with the book? I am.
Okay.
You know, it's too bad though, 'cause Molly was really looking forward to working with you.
Very nice, lie to your mother.
I'm not lying.
I mean, she knew it was gonna be somewhere between miserable and hell on earth.
But she did want to tell your story.
Well, it turns out there's nothing to tell.
That's what I told her.
Good.
It's definitely gonna rain.
Yep.
What are you doing here? Since we're no longer working together, I came to get my things.
Fine.
Getting a little cloudy out there.
Sure is.
You know what they always say about rain.
What's that? Into every life a little rain may I don't know.
I can't I can't do this.
Can we just talk about what's going on with you? Nothing's going on with me.
Come on, Peggy, help me understand.
You were so excited about writing this book.
What happened? What do you care? I care because, God help me, you're part of my family now.
And in my family, we actually talk about what we're going through.
That must be why you're all so well-adjusted.
Okay, fair point.
But trust me, if you let this stuff fester, you will turn into a bitter person.
Or bitterer.
Or bittererer.
You're not gonna let go of this, are you? The Biggs way might be to avoid the problem, but the Flynn way is to care enough not to.
Blech.
I know.
I hated it the second it came out of my mouth.
Come on! Is that you or me? Molly! Oh, me! Okay.
My father sent me this trunk just after my mother died.
Oh, that's sweet.
She's not in here, is she? I thought I'd never see anything from that farm once I left.
This was my first doll.
Oh, she's the stuff of nightmares.
She's made of corn husk.
We didn't have much.
Moths ate her twin.
Oh, is this your father's pipe? My mother's.
Don't you know what a woman's pipe looks like? Oh.
Yeah, now-now I see it.
Very very feminine.
After Daddy went to bed, she'd sneak out on the porch, smoke her pipe, and just cry.
Oh.
Why was she crying? I told you, it was hard on that farm.
We barely scraped by.
And when things went really bad, Daddy got angry.
Angry how? He started hitting.
The walls, the dog You? He tried, but Mama wouldn't let him.
So he turned it all on her.
Peggy, I had no idea.
How could you? No one knew.
First chance I had, I lit out of there and never looked back.
Well, of course.
I mean, what choice did you have? I left her there.
She protected me all those years and I just abandoned her.
I-I'm sure that all your mother ever really wanted was for you to be safe.
Who was keeping her safe? Well, you were a kid.
There was nothing that you could do about that.
I could've stayed.
Then you wouldn't have lived the life that you were supposed to live.
And I never would have met the strongest woman that I've ever known or my amazing husband.
It's always about you.
Guess that's why I hold on to Mikey so tight, you know.
I don't want to abandon anyone ever again.
He knows you're not going anywhere.
We've both come to terms with that.
What do you think? I had no idea.
I thought she was just born mean.
Did you get to the part where she was hiding under the stairs, clutching her corn husk doll? Yeah, yeah.
It was very, very descriptive.
Excuse me.
Where are you going? I'm gonna go hug my mom.