The Middle s06e01 Episode Script

Ah, summer.
There's nothing like it.
And this was the best one we had in ages.
Maybe it was 'cause we had nowhere to go.
Maybe it was 'cause we had nothing to do.
I don't know.
It was just a nice, relaxing summer.
Boss Co.
branched out into landscaping.
Brick actually put down his book and picked up a new hobby.
Sue spent her summer getting ready for her senior year A year she dubbed "The Year of Sue.
" Mike WD-40'd everything in the house.
And I finally got around to flipping our mattress.
Yep.
After all these years, we finally got it down.
It was summer the way it was meant to be nice and lazy.
It felt like the longest summer ever.
I thought I heard something going on back here.
What are you guys doing in the pool in the middle of the day? Oh, you know, just enjoying the last Friday of summer before school starts.
Frankie, school started on Monday.
- What?! What?! - Classic.
Wait, how could this happen? Why didn't anybody tell us?! It was posted right on the school website.
Oh, my God, mom.
You didn't check the website?! Oh, my God.
Why didn't you check the website?! I can never remember my password! This was supposed to be The Year of Sue.
I'm missing everything.
I missed my first last Monday of my senior year.
I missed my first last Tuesday of my senior year.
- I missed my first - We know how a calendar works, Sue.
- Apparently, we don't.
- I would just like to point out I didn't get to miss a week of school my senior year.
You people owe me a full week of leisure time.
What about me?! It's hard enough being the weird kid.
Try being the weird kid who shows up a week late.
Week late.
All right.
Listen.
We can still make part of the day.
Come on.
Come on, people.
Axl, get out of the way.
Ugh! Dad WD-40'd the ladder! Hey.
Take another shot at the old man before you head back to school? - Your school didn't start already, did it? - No, but yours did, 'cause you just got into the school of Axl where you'll be majoring in getting your butt kicked with a minor in humiliation.
Uh-oh! Little late in the summer for a block party, isn't it? Go.
Mike wasn't the kind of dad who'd let his kids win at anything.
That's called a skunk, my friend.
Hey, dummy, I win.
See? Right here.
Which is why it was so strange when Oh, my God.
I did it.
I beat my dad.
I just beat my dad in basketball! You won one game.
Put a monkey in front of a typewriter, he'll eventually type a sentence.
Well, the sentence that monkey typed was "I beat my dad at basketball!" Keep your pants on.
- Let's go again.
- All right.
I'll play you again.
But I want you to know if or should I say when I beat you again, I will be the perfect gentleman.
I'm the king of the world! Whoo! "Frankie1234.
" "Colinfirth.
" Hmm.
"Mrs.
Frankiefirth?" Yes! I should write that down.
Eh.
Nah, I'll remember.
That was the longest day of my life.
Which is ironic, seeing as I was only there for 47 minutes.
Oh, no.
What happened? Well, because I missed the first four days of school, I have no idea what we're studying, and neither do the assorted ne'er-do-wells who share the back row with me.
My options for gym shorts were either adult large or a youth extra-small.
Oh, and I have to play Hitler in the school play.
Listen, Brick, I know you didn't get off to the best start, but you should take a lesson from your sister.
When things are the toughest, that's when you got to stay positive.
The Year of Sue is ruined! I missed everything.
I missed all the sign-ups for all the committees.
I missed the senior panoramic picture.
I missed the candlelight ceremony where the seniors light the candles for the juniors.
I missed the senior pep rally and the senior spirit rally, and I know those sound like the same thing, but they are not.
Honey, I know it's not an ideal situation.
Oh, no.
And you haven't even heard the worst of it.
- I haven't? - Christine Feltkelner, the only other person in the senior class with braces, got her braces off over the summer, which makes me the only senior in the whole school who still has braces.
And don't tell me if I am the only one, that is what makes me special.
That worked with the Terry-cloth pants grandma made me, but not with this.
Sue, I know it seems like you're never gonna get them off, and I don't get it, either.
They look perfect to me.
But you just have to hang in there.
You're so close.
Am I? Am I? Because every time I go to Dr.
Niller, he says, "three more months.
" I go in March, and he says, "three more months.
" I go in June, and he says, "three more months.
" I go in September, and he says, "three more months.
" See? Look, I circled it on the calendar.
While you were circling things on the calendar, maybe you could have circled the first day of school.
Brick! I got one week off between football and classes.
I'm trying to get some sleep.
You own three shirts.
Pick one and hit the road.
Sorry.
It's just seventh grade is a little more challenging than I thought it'd be.
Oh, my God.
I don't care.
Why are you trying to get close to me? I'm gone, man.
Move on! My classmates are definitely getting more mature.
Boys are sitting with girls now.
There's a kid in the locker room with a beard.
If I don't act, I could get left behind, so I dug deep and really did some soul searching, and I figured out what my problem is.
I need a new backpack.
Uh-huh.
I'm using my "Shaq-will" O'Neal one, and according to a guy on a sports team, he's not even playing anymore.
So I'm changing it up.
It's a whole new Brick this year.
And the new Brick carries A messenger bag.
Here's your first message no one cares.
Oh-ho, I think they will.
See, the beauty of a messenger bag is you can adjust it to your mood.
Left, right, over the shoulder, over the chest.
Hmm.
Maybe with just a slight adjustment.
I think this is how they're wearing it these days.
There's my star patient.
How you doing, Sue? Pretty good, except And there's mom.
How's mom doing? - Well - Okay.
Let's take a look.
Open for me.
Uh-huh.
Looks very good.
No, I mean it.
This is exactly what I've been hoping to see today.
The incisors are finally in the right place, the premolars are rotated beautifully.
Well, I have been wearing my rubber bands.
I've got to tell you, Sue, this is precisely what we've been waiting for.
There's only one thing left to say.
I'll see you in three months.
No.
- No? - No.
No more months.
You know, I've been on your side, but enough is enough.
Look at her.
Look at this bite.
What is wrong with this bite, Dr.
Niller? Hmm? These teeth are perfect! They may look good to the naked eye, - but with a few more tweaks - No.
No more tweaks.
It's been eight years, for God's sakes.
There comes a time when you have to say, "the cake is done," and take it out of the oven.
I know you're frustrated, but the bone is just a little spongy.
Spongy bone.
I'll tell you what's spongy your bank account, 'cause it's sucking up all our money.
And don't think we don't know about the lake house you bought, 'cause it was in the paper.
Maybe next time, you don't brag about it on the front page.
I know this is an emotional time, but, Sue, you're a very difficult case.
Your premolars were literally facing the wrong direction.
She had a tooth growing out of the roof of her mouth! She's in a book of dental abnormalities! You know what book she should be in? The Guinness book, because she's had braces longer than any human being in history.
Let us go, Dr.
Niller.
Your work here is done.
And I know because I went to six and a half months of dental-assistant school, give or take a few absences, but they were excused.
This is The Year of Sue, and it's not starting in three months.
It's starting now.
Sue Heck needs a win.
I don't know how messengers do it.
- Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Where were you guys? - Orthodontist.
Yeah? How did it go? Look at that! Doesn't she look great? - Hey, hey! - Wow! - Oh, my God.
Wow! - Guys, you're staring at me.
Sorry, but the last time I saw you without braces, you were 9 years old.
You're just so beautiful.
Oh, dad.
I'm just the same old Sue.
I'm trying to think of an insult, and I-I can't.
Okay.
Throw out whatever you got for dinner, 'cause we are having a special meal to celebrate.
We got whatever Sue wanted Taffy, caramel, caramel apples, jelly beans.
Oh, kettle corn, candy corn, and last but not least bit-o-honey.
And remember, you got to have some greens, so everybody take a jolly rancher.
Did they let you keep the braces? What? It's a legitimate question.
Sue, why don't you tell everybody what you told me in the car? Mm! Well, before I got my braces off, I would have never had the nerve to run for this office.
Holy crap! Kettle corn is amazing! But I really feel like things are going my way, and since The Year of Sue is back on track, I have decided to run for Sergeant at arms! More like sergeant of pretty teeth! It can't be done! Isn't this great? It fits everything my books, my gym clothes, some candy from last night's dinner, a hairdryer in case someone gives me a swirly.
So, what do you think, mom? Did I nail it? - Yeah, it's fine.
- Yep.
It's the perfect bag for me.
Hey! Come on! Let's go! I got to get this to school! Sue knew when she got to school everyone would notice she got her braces off, but just in case they didn't I got my braces off! Hey, I just got my braces off.
I got my braces off.
Soak it in, people.
She's gorgeous! Let's go.
You sure you want to do this? I already beat you three times.
Yeah, and I beat you 300 times.
Off the couch.
Look don't take this the wrong way, but it's not that fun anymore.
Sports aren't about fun.
They're about having a clear winner.
Let's go.
- You all right? - Yeah.
Fine.
Do you want to stop? Why would I want to stop? 'Cause you just made a noise like you were having a baby.
What are we doing here? Are we tracking each other's noises or are we playing basketball? Dad, if you want to stop, I'll just tell people you beat me.
That's what you're gonna have to tell them, 'cause I'm gonna beat you.
Damn it.
Brick! Will you please go to bed? I have to be up by noon tomorrow.
What do you think? Mom carried me in this.
Well, actually, it was the Fergusons' baby, but I can access my snacks through the leg holes.
I thought you were using the guitar case.
Actually, there was a slight snag with the guitar case.
Hey, Brick.
I think I broke dad today.
Have you noticed he's been, like, slowing down a little lately? Hmm.
I don't know.
I mean, he does seem to moan more when he sits down.
And last week, he increased my allowance so I would tie his shoes.
I beat him for the first time in basketball the other day, and, uh, it felt so good.
But then I beat him two more times, and it didn't feel as good.
Do you think that's weird? I know you don't pay that much attention to me, but I'm not really a sports person.
It's not just a sports thing, Brick.
I-I'm not supposed to beat dad at anything.
Why? 'Cause dad's dad.
He's like, you know, all powerful and stuff.
So why don't you just let him win? Well, 'cause if I let him win, he'll think I feel sorry for him, and he'll feel even worse.
If I'm gonna play him, I got to try my hardest, and if I try my hardest, I will beat him.
See, this is where my awesomeness works against me.
I wouldn't worry about it too much.
It's the natural order of things.
What do you mean? Adults are supposed to slow down.
We were put here on earth to replace them.
You replace dad, Sue replaces mom, and since I was a mistake, I don't replace anybody.
I'm free to live my life as I choose.
So, the night of Sue's last first day without braces I mean her second last first day I can't keep it straight.
But things couldn't have been going better.
Well, I guess they could have been going a little better.
Mom, can I have a word with you? Little hectic right now, Sue.
Can it wait? No, I think we should talk right now.
Okay.
What is it? Oh, my God.
What happened?! I don't know.
I don't know.
Things are shifting, mom.
It started with one tooth, and now it's two.
Dr.
Niller was right.
I wasn't ready to get my braces off.
I do have spongy bones! - What am I gonna do? - Okay.
All right.
Give me a second.
I got to think.
I can't go to school like this.
I can't! Calm down, Sue.
It's not that bad.
What's not that bad? Whoa! Can you tell? You got three teeth going all over the place.
Three?! Frankie, what the hell is going on? Why did Niller take them off if he knew she wasn't ready? Wh he recommended this?! Recommended-ish.
This is nuts! The guy's building a lake house with our money, and our daughter ends up like this? I'm going down there.
- You can't.
- Why can't I? Mom forced him to take them off! What?! Forced-ish.
Dr.
Niller said that my bones are spongy so I was gonna have to wait another three months, and then mom yelled at him, so he took them off anyway.
Well, I was trying to get you your Year of Sue.
Oh, sure, everybody wants their year, but nobody wants to get their hands dirty.
Could you guys keep it down? I'm not getting up for another six hours.
Whoa.
What's happening to your mouth? You got, like, four teeth going all over the place.
Four?! Oh, my God.
This is a nightmare.
I can just kiss sergeant at arms goodbye.
Not with that mouth you can't.
Boo-yah! I'm back, baby.
- Whoo! - I just don't get it.
This was supposed to be The Year of Sue! You know what, Sue? Maybe stop labeling things.
Maybe just see what happens, and then give it a name.
Nice parenting, mom.
How did this even happen? I thought you went to dental school.
I only went for six months, and I missed a lot of days, all right? Okay, people.
I really need help figuring out this backpack situation.
Not now, Brick.
We're focusing all our attention on Sue.
Why? Whoa.
I hope he's not gonna charge us to do the whole thing again.
It's gonna put us in the poor house.
Look at her.
It's like a demolition derby going on in there.
She's gonna have braces on for six more years.
- She'll have them on at her wedding.
- What?! Why are we still throwing money at this? Just move her to a bell tower in Paris and call it a day.
Hello? No one's concentrating on me.
I need help here.
Seventh grade is a very formative year.
Yesterday, I was offered something by a guy called a stoner.
Nobody cares about your stupid backpack, Brick! This is your fault, mom.
You gave me bad advice.
You said the guitar case was fine.
How long have you been my kid, Brick? You should know when I say "fine" I'm not paying attention.
Darrin's coming back tomorrow, and I didn't even get to kiss him with my straight teeth.
Sue, everything's gonna be fine, and not the "I'm not listening" fine, the "we'll figure it out" fine.
Oh, I can't believe we're still talking about this! God clearly wants her to be ugly.
Why are we fighting his plan? - Mike.
- Axl.
No.
You know what? Axl's right.
Clearly, the universe is trying to tell me something.
Whenever I try to do anything, it gets undone.
And I know I always bounce back, but maybe I shouldn't.
Maybe the universe is sending me a message to give up! Well, message received, universe! Got it! Okay, she's fine.
Now, about my backpack situation.
Sneaking out on me? Let's go.
One more game.
I really can't.
What's wrong? You afraid of me? Hey, guys! Hi, Bill.
Hey, I was cleaning out my garage today and realized I never returned your ball pump.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
Hey, this is my nephew, A.
J.
He's up visiting us for a few days.
Hey, A.
J.
here's my son Axl.
Looks like you guys are playing some hoops! How about a little, uh, two on two? Oh, well, I was just about to kick Axl's butt, but I guess that can wait.
Nice shot, dad! All right.
Ooh.
Hey! Ah! That's two for the good guys.
Yep, they may be here to replace us, but until they do, we might as well hitch our old, rusty wagons to their stars.
Good shot, Axl! Go get it, Axl! Hey! Nice job! Yes! - Oh-ho! Attaboy, Axl.
Hey.
That's the ballgame.
Whew! You guys want to play again, or Do you not have three minutes? You guys were good today.
I think we're gonna go home and lick our wounds.
Later.
Ooh.
That was awesome.
We totally destroyed those guys.
Is it just me, or has Bill lost a step? Oh, no, he's quick.
You're quicker.
I think you might have broken his ankle on that crossover.
Hey, you must have picked his pocket like three times.
Yeah, I guess.
You know, the key to that move is, you got to shade 'em to the right.
Yeah.
Did you notice that? Yeah, no, you got to teach me that sometime.
All right.
Sue, heard we had a little problem.
There may have been some slight shifting.
I'm sure it's not that bad.
Let's take a little look, here.
Whoa.
Sue, I want you to know that this is not a victory for me.
Despite what my mother-in-law says, I don't enjoy being right.
But you don't become the best ortho in Orson without knowing your way around a set of chompers.
So, let's see what we can do here.
- You know what? - I know, I know.
I have to get my braces back on.
Just go ahead and do it.
I deserve it.
Actually, what I was going to say was I think I might be able to take care of this without putting braces back on at all.
Really?! Let me ask you something.
Instead of getting braces again, what would you say to wearing a retainer for a year? A Year of Sue? And a month later, Sue did win sergeant at arms.
Please rise and face the flag.
Remove all hats.
I pledge allegiance to the flag Maybe it was because she got her braces off.
Or maybe she really was coming into her own.
I guess we'll never know.
But things were changing.
Maybe it really was gonna be - and justice for all.
- The Year of Sue.
Damn it, Sue.
We try to take you out to celebrate, we end up in a dumpster.
Who the hell puts their retainer in a napkin? I'm sorry! I said I'm sorry.
You guys go.
I'll I'll find it myself.
Good idea.
Let's just close the lid and let 'em take her to the dump.
City's problem now.
- Wiat a minute.
- Did you find it? No.
But I think I found the answer for all my backpacks problems.
- What do you think? - It's fine.
- Found it! Phew! - Whoo! Yep, not mine! Eww.