Frasier s06e22 Episode Script

- Good show today, Roz.
- Yeah.
- Say, why all the catalogues? - I need to buy a present.
Tiffany, Cartier, Neiman Marcus - Anything look good to you here? - Well, let's see.
Who could we be shopping for? Perhaps a honey-voiced radio therapist whose birthday's just around the corner? No, this present is not for you.
It's for your brother.
Oh, all right, Roz, listen, don't be coy.
I think it's very smart, your fishing for hints like this.
You want to avoid a misstep like you made last year.
What misstep? You said you loved Pagliacci.
Yes, the opera, not the little porcelain crying clown figurine.
Look, Niles pulled some strings and got Alice on a list for a really good preschool so I thought I'd get him a thank-you gift.
That's why I was asking for your stupid opinion in the first place.
- But forget it.
- All right, fine.
- I'll figure it out for myself.
- Have it your own way.
Fine.
But I tell you what, don't get him a porcelain Pagliacci.
He already has one.
- Hi, Dad.
- Hey, Fras.
You'll never guess who I just saw.
I went over for a cup of coffee with Hank.
You remember Hank? He's the security guard who works at Weston's Jewellery Store.
Anyway, we were in his booth, just shooting the breeze and looking at the surveillance monitors, and who do I see buying an engagement ring but Donny.
As in Daphne and Donny.
Donny? - Are you sure? - Yeah.
Engagement rings is Tina's counter.
We use the zoom lens on her.
- Dad, I'm shocked.
- Oh, no, it's just innocent fun.
She only dresses that way because she knows we're looking at her.
I mean about Daphne and Donny.
I didn't realize they were this serious.
- They spend all that time together.
- This is gonna crush Niles.
- Yeah, I know.
- Do you think we should tell him? No, it's none of our business.
We do not tell Niles and we definitely do not tell Daphne.
- Tell Daphne what? - Nothing.
- It's bad news, isn't it? - No, it's not bad news.
Is it about my mum? Did they find something during her physical? They did, didn't they? I have to call her.
No, Daphne, no, no, no.
There is absolutely no news.
And even if there were, it's not up to us to tell you about it.
Who should tell me, then? Head surgeon? Our family minister? - No! - No! The mortician? God, I've gotta pack.
I hope I'm not too late.
I just saw Donny buying you an engagement ring.
That is the news.
Really? I don't believe it.
I'm gonna get married.
God, I'm so excited.
I'm gonna be a missus.
Mrs.
Donny Douglas.
Mrs.
Donald Ronald Douglas.
Oh, God! Yes, well, I guess we're gonna have to prepare Niles now.
- He's on his way over here.
- Yeah, well, don't tell him here.
I don't want him going to pieces in front of Daphne.
Yes, I guess I can tell him at the restaurant.
Well, just don't take him to one of those fancy wine bistros that you guys love.
News like this calls for hard liquor in big glasses.
Wherever it is, I just think it's best that Niles hear it from me - and not from Daphne.
- Hear what from Daphne? I'll tell you at the restaurant.
No, I don't wanna wait till we get to the bistro.
- You're just gonna have to wait.
- And you're not going to any bistro.
Well, fine.
If you won't tell me, then I'll just ask Daphne myself.
Niles, wait.
The truth is - Daphne's - Mother is dying.
- Dear God.
- Yes, tragic, isn't it? Yes.
She's gonna need all the support that we can give her.
Evening, Dr.
Crane.
Come on, Niles, we don't wanna lose our table.
- Did you hear the news? - I just did.
What can I say? I've thought about this day ever since I was a little girl.
I'm sure you have.
It's even better than I thought it would be.
I can already picture the big day.
Beautiful flowers everywhere, a sea of smiling faces.
I suppose everyone will want to have their picture taken with the lady of the hour.
You know, maybe Daphne could use a little quiet time.
No, who could be quiet? I'm so happy.
Donny's gonna ask me to marry him.
- What? - Now, come the big day, you'll all sit right up front with my family because that's what you are to me.
Family.
Well, that's what you are to us too, Daph.
Oh, I am so thrilled for you.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, all.
I'm sorry, son.
- You wanna talk? - No.
Frasier, if you wouldn't mind, I'm gonna cancel dinner.
- I need to be alone.
- Of course, Niles.
Look, if you need me, call.
Poor kid.
He'll be all right, Dad.
You know, Niles is a lot stronger than we give him credit for.
Hello? Hold the elevator.
I'll be right there.
Hang in there, son, he's on his way.
Yes? This came while you were in session.
It's from a Roz Doyle.
She wanted to thank you for a favour that you did.
- I'll be off now.
- All right.
Good night, Mrs.
Woodson.
Come in, Mrs.
Woodson.
I'm afraid it's me, Dr.
Crane.
Daphne.
What are you doing here? I know I should've called first, but I need to talk to you.
It's sort of a private matter and I hoped we could talk here.
Well, it's not really appropriate for me to act as your therapist, but if it's just advice from a friend that you need, I'm happy to lend an ear.
What's on your mind? Well I don't think I can marry Donny.
I think there's someone else I'm meant to be with.
Who is it? - It's Mrs - Oh, for God's sake, go home! Sorry for that interruption.
Anyway, this man you're meant to be with, who is he? I'm afraid I can't say.
Yes, you can.
We're the only ones here.
Are you sure you won't laugh at me? How could you think I would laugh at you? Most people would if I told them I'd seen the love of my life in a psychic vision.
Well, most people are What? You know how I have these psychic flashes from time to time.
Well, I had one last night.
You had a vision about the love of your life.
Okay.
Well, tell me about it.
Here.
And, Daphne, omit nothing.
All right.
I was straightening up the living room when I had a sudden flash of a wedding ceremony for Donny and me.
Oh, it was lovely.
The church was packed to the rafters.
Me mum was there in a peach silk looking very smart, me brothers in their suits I may have led you in the wrong direction with the omit-nothing business.
Feel free to skip ahead.
Right.
Well, my father had just walked me up to the altar and I was standing there facing Donny.
He looked quite natty.
Black tuxedo, tails, very slender.
We're skipping.
Well, then the vicar began the ceremony.
He asked if anyone had a reason why we shouldn't wed and that's when this Well, this person stood up and said that he did.
He said that he was the true love of my life, though he'd never had the courage to say so.
I feel so awkward telling you all this.
Don't.
I think I know who this person is.
- You do? - Yes.
Well, I don't see how you could.
I couldn't tell myself.
He was standing in the shadows and I couldn't see his face.
All I could make out was that he was wearing a red bow tie.
I don't have a clue why anyone would wear such a thing to a wedding.
Heavens, I can't believe I'm talking about my visions to a psychiatrist.
Your brother would think I was daft.
Well, Frasier's never really shared my mystical, spiritual bent.
This does mean I'm gonna have to turn down Donny's proposal.
- You don't think that would be crazy? - Not at all.
Then you really believe in psychic visions too? I do.
Thank you, Dr.
Crane.
That means a lot to me.
Of course, if I can't marry Donny, I can't very well go on dating him.
- That would just be leading him on.
- That's very true.
I don't know how I'm gonna break it off with him.
Well, do you wanna write a letter? I have stationery and a fax machine.
No.
I have to tell him to his face.
I do hate to let him go, though.
I know it's hard, but it's the only ethical thing to do.
You're right.
Now I see why people come to you.
You always point them in the right direction.
Well, I'd be a poor excuse for a psychiatrist if I didn't.
- Hello, Dad.
- Hey, Fras.
What's Eddie doing? Every time this cooking show comes on, he rolls over and watches it upside-down.
He likes all the pouring they do.
He thinks it's funny the way the food goes up instead of down.
- Evening.
- Hey, Daph.
Donny called, said he'd be here about 8.
Do you think he'll pop the question tonight? I hope not.
What's the matter? I've decided to break up with him tonight.
What? You wanted to marry him yesterday.
Well, you know how I have these visions from time to time.
- And don't tell Dr.
Crane.
Well - Don't tell me what? - Nothing.
- It's my car again, isn't it? It's not your bloody car.
She's breaking up with Donny because of some vision.
I asked you not to mention that.
What vision? I know you'll make fun of me.
But I had a vision that I'm meant to be with another man.
- Who? - I couldn't see his face.
I don't know anything about him.
He was just wearing a red bow tie.
You're seriously gonna dump Donny because of some psychic vision? Don't you think that's a little unwise? Well, your brother didn't think so.
- Niles knows about this? - Yes.
He helped me to see that ending things with Donny was my only choice.
Unlike you, he believes in my visions.
He knows I have a gift.
Yes.
He's been trying to unwrap it for six years.
That'll be Donny.
What do you think about all this vision stuff? There's some psychological reason that she's having second thoughts.
It's got nothing to do with an apparition in a red bow tie.
Niles, you jackass, will you take that thing off? I admit it's a departure for me, but I'm feeling a bit kicky today.
Yes, I know.
Daphne told us you encouraged her to follow her vision and to dump Donny.
I'm astonished at your lack of integrity.
Now, will you take that damn thing off? What did you hope to accomplish with that? I was simply trying to nudge Daphne into the realisation that I am the man in her vision.
Niles.
All right.
But why else would she come to me? Surely, you of all people realise that there is some psychological basis for these visions of hers.
It represents a fear of some kind.
A fear of intimacy, a fear of commitment, a fear of the Windsor knot.
Who knows? - Wasn't that Donny at the door? - No, no, just Niles, Daphne.
You know, we were just discussing these visions of yours.
Look, I'm in no mood to be mocked.
I'm not mocking you, Daphne.
And I'm not trying to influence you in any way either.
It's just that I was wondering Have these psychic warnings ever come to you before? Say, at a critical juncture in a relationship.
No.
Well, actually, yes.
Once when my first boyfriend proposed, I had a vision telling me there was someone better waiting, which there was, Clyde.
But you dumped Clyde.
Look, I don't have time for this right now.
Oh, yes, no fear of commitment there.
Well, it's just as possible that she knew those men were wrong for her.
- Isn't that right, Dad? - Leave me out of this.
- I'm just looking for my TV Guide.
- Well, I could use a little support here.
Well, maybe that's why I said to leave me out of it.
I'm sorry, Niles.
I want you to be happy, but I'm with your brother on this.
Niles, the fact is, you don't know what causes these visions.
And yet you still advised her to walk away from a wonderful relationship.
It doesn't make you much of a psychiatrist.
That's your opinion.
Yes, well, here's a second opinion.
It doesn't make you much of a friend.
You sure you didn't throw it away with the recycling? Are you actually looking for your TV Guide? Well, I have to plan my weekend.
You really do have the world on a string, don't you, Dad? Look, Daphne, I have been thinking about our talk this afternoon.
I'm not sure I gave you the best advice I could have.
Perhaps what you call a vision is really a fear, a fear of commitment, say.
That would explain why these visions come to you when your relationships turn serious.
Mind you, I can't tell you that I think Donny is the right person for you, but I wouldn't want you to end things with him for the wrong reasons.
- Do you understand? - Yeah.
You're just like your brother after all.
This afternoon you were just humouring me, weren't you? - No, Daphne.
- Look at the idiot from Manchester.
She thinks she has visions.
No, no.
I'm saying that I think there are psychological issues here that you just don't entirely appreciate.
Well, how could I? I'm just some nut who believes in fate.
Well, I've always followed my vision and your pity's not gonna change that.
That'll be Donny.
Could one of you get the door? Well, you've seen me do it enough times.
You just turn the handle and pull.
- Hello, Donny.
- Hi, Frasier.
- Hey.
- Is Daphne ready? - She'll be out in a minute.
- That's good.
Great.
- What's that you're drinking there? - Sherry.
Yeah, I'll have one.
So how's business? Well, actually, I've cut down on my caseload because I wanna spend more time with Daphne.
Don't tell her this, but I've book us on an Alaskan vacation next month.
I hear it's one of the few places left where you can feel completely alone.
You like that feeling, huh? - Donny.
- Oh, hi, honey.
- You look really great.
- You too.
Shall we be on our way, then? Well, actually, I've got something on my mind that I'd kind of like to talk about first.
- Oh, well, we'll just get out of here.
- No, no, no, it's I'd like you to stay here for this.
If it wasn't for all of you, then I never would have met Daphne.
- Donny, I think it'd be best if - It's okay.
Sit.
Maybe I'll just have a little bit of this sherry.
You know, I thought that being a divorce attorney would've just soured me on relationships, and then I met you.
And now I find myself telling my clients to reconcile, because I think that if they could find even just a tiny little bit of the happiness that I've found with you, they could make it.
I've been thinking about that time we went to the little bed- and-breakfast in the country, and we sat in that porch swing all night and looked at the sky.
You told me that your dad and you used to sit on your stoop and do the same thing when you were a kid.
He said that the only man good enough for you would scoop the stars out of the sky with his hat and lay them at your feet.
Well I've I've only caught this one so far, but if you'll accept it, I'll spend my life chasing down the rest of them for you.
I know it's very soon, so just think about it.
I don't have to think about it.
Yes.
Oh, God, it's beautiful.
Oh, Donny.
Oh, God.
Thank you.
Boys, give me a break.
You look more surprised than I do.
No, no.
No.
We're just so happy for you.
- Congratulations.
- Yes, it's wonderful, it's wonderful.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- If you'll excuse me, I need to - Yes, champagne.
Let me help you.
Oh, Niles.
I'm so sorry.
Frasier, why don't you take the champagne in there? We're gonna stay out here for a second.
All right.
I'd do anything to fix this for you.
I know.
It's my own fault.
I had chance after chance to tell her how I feel, and I always kept my mouth shut.
Until tonight, when I probably should have.
Well, you can't regret what you said.
It was the right thing to do.
And that's something I can always count on from you.
Thanks, Dad.
I'm gonna get you some of that champagne.
- Oh, yeah, me too.
- Oh, just a second, Dr.
Crane.
I'm sorry I got cross with you.
Once I thought about what you said, it really made sense.
And then when Donny did ask me, it was fear I felt, just like you told me.
I figured the best way to overcome it was to just jump in with both feet.
Thank you for your help.
- I wish you the very best, Daphne.
- Hey, hey, hey, don't squeeze so hard.
That's a precious commodity right there.
My number one client here, you know.
- Still looking for that TV Guide? - Yeah, it's the damnedest thing.
What are you still doing up? Where's Donny? He's on the phone with my folks.
He really is wonderful, Mr.
Crane.
I'm very happy for you, Daph.
Oh, my God.
I just had that vision again.
Only this time Oh, that's a bit scary.
My mystery man is standing with some sort of dragon.
- A dragon? - Yes.
That makes no sense.
It must be just what Dr.
Crane said.
- These visions are about my fears.
- I guess.
Imagine spending the rest of my life looking for some poor bloke with a dragon.
- That's weird.
- What? I just had a vision myself.
What is it? There's a mystery woman.
She's standing in the kitchen.
She's making me a Monte Cristo sandwich.
- Oh, brother.
- No, no, it's just a grilled cheese.
Make it yourself, you lazy old goat.
Oh, Roz.