House, M.D. s07e04 Episode Script

Billy? Is anyone here? Billy? - Hey.
- Hey.
I just noticed the front door was open.
Maybe you left it that way? I don't know, I thought I heard something.
I mean, I know the whole house creaks, but I was just You have any doubts, go to the Cassanos'.
I'm in the car, I'm a few blocks away.
No, I'm sure it's nothing.
Love you.
Oh, God.
The door banged shut, I'm sure it was just the wind.
God.
It's okay.
It's okay, it's just me.
Huh.
You all right? Margaret.
Hey! Margaret! You okay? My stomach! I get it! You're jealous of my new cane, so you hired a new doctor that you could lean on.
Exactly.
Nothing to do with the fact that you instructed me to hire one.
Dr.
House, this is Dr.
Kelly Benedict, your new fellow.
Nice to meet you.
Um I just finished my psychiatry residency at St.
Jude's.
And I loved studying the mind, but I thought I could make more of a difference, or at least Man, you're hot.
I mean, seriously.
Thirty-year-old female I know what you're thinking.
"She looks like Cameron, and he's hired her solely to sleep with her.
" No.
None of us were thinking that.
Well, you should have.
But you'd be foolishly wrong.
Yes, he's been dating at a near-Clooney pace recently, but at this point, the only hole he's trying to fill is the one in his soul.
Which means it's the emotional connection with Cameron he misses.
Did you ever marry a dying man, and if so, did you freeze his sperm? Okay, so Cameron's his ex, but the sperm She's not like Cameron.
Then why did you make her wear Cameron's clothes? No.
I'm wearing my own clothes.
Thirty-year-old female.
Severe vomiting and abdominal pain, preceded by three days of moderate pain, slightly elevated LFTs.
Could be lead Ah-ah-ah.
If I know Dr.
Shameron, and I think I do, she'll want this chance for a little stuff-strutting.
Okay.
Hepatitis A Serologies are negative.
Right.
Uh Appendicitis That hasn't ruptured by now? It's hepatic fibrosis.
At the risk of having Foreman snark at me, too, lead poisoning could also work.
Liver angiogram to check for fibrosis, search the home for heavy metals.
What's your position on the legality of illegal break-ins? That's more of a second-week type activity.
We'll do the angiogram.
I'll meet you in radiology, third floor.
She was nervous.
Give her a break.
Oh.
And she's not like Cameron.
True.
Cameron had much smaller breasts.
By which I mean, she was smarter.
How are things going with Cuddy? Great.
We've gotten to fifth base.
That's two home runs, and then she gives me back a triple.
I could see you on this one.
Am I wearing a dashiki? Easy Rider auditions ended four decades ago.
Are you sleeping over there yet? Nope.
She comes over, we hook up, she leaves.
Whose idea was that? Mine.
But I let her think it's hers.
It's the fun of a relationship.
You get the sex, the dinners, videogame partnership.
I also get a full night's sleep.
Okay.
Taking it slow.
That could work.
You are spending time with the kid.
As little as possible.
That is one boring child.
House, she's a toddler.
I know.
Grading on a curve.
It's that bad.
You think you were a scintillating wit at two and a half? I wasn't trying to eat shoes.
Cuddy could have adopted a golden retriever.
Yeah, things are definitely going great.
We'll get to it when we get to it.
You really like these, or are you just avoiding a touchy conversation? Nah.
This one's too metrosexual, this one is too heterosexual.
They're identical.
Do you even want my input? No.
Then why did you invite me? Who would drive my car home if I buy a bike? You did fine.
House is just trying to get at me.
And he's wrong, by the way.
I hired you because you were the most qualified applicant.
Injecting dye.
Dr.
Foreman didn't seem to like me, either.
Oh, well, he takes a little while to warm up.
In my case, I'm hoping year seven does the trick.
Tapering cutoff in the left branch of the hepatic artery.
Tumor? Looks more like scar tissue.
From what? Surgery? Probably.
Look at her rib cage.
She broke five or six bones at some point.
She didn't tell us about this? No, she didn't.
I checked the pipes and the paint.
It's not lead poisoning.
You got anything? Yeah.
I was looking around, and in the corner over there, I found a question about why you have a problem with our new doctor.
Sorry.
We should all be super polite in the DDxs, fail to correct each other, and then treat patients for diseases they don't have.
Dude, is this about Thirteen? No.
Why are you calling me "dude"? Maybe it's hard seeing House replace her when you still got feelings? One, I don't have feelings for Thirteen beyond friendship, two, it's a temporary replacement, and three, "Dude"? It felt right.
The day the patient collapsed, she say where she was working? A cleaning job in Summit, then she went straight home.
Then why's she got a credit card receipt for lunch from a café in Trenton? I'm not hiding anything.
I just got the days wrong.
I worked in Trenton on Tuesday, I worked in Summit on Monday.
I guess it slipped my mind.
And breaking eight ribs, that slip your mind, too? You know how I was on the cycling team when I was at UMass? Well, during training, I fell off my bike, right onto a sprinkler head.
Why didn't you tell us? That was 10 years ago.
I didn't think it could be related to my stomach problems.
We're gonna need to see the records from the operation.
You think it is related? The strange stuff we found in your liver, it's probably hepatic fibrosis, but it could also just be a screw-up from your old surgery.
The operation was done at the university hospital.
Hopefully, they still have the records.
- Come back.
Just one more time.
- You'll love it.
My wrists are tired.
I can't defeat NoobDecimator98 all alone.
Come on, we're a team.
You understand, right? Babysitter's leaving in half an hour.
Oops! You're right.
Scram, I got a massage coming by in five.
It was at that moment she realized the romance was already gone.
Headshot! Oh! Hi.
Hi.
I called UMass.
There's no record of any surgery for Margaret.
You use her maiden name? No, Kelly knows nothing about the concept of married names.
It wasn't covered in her psychiatry residency.
Margaret was never even registered at the university.
Call the other hospitals in the area.
Done.
Nothing.
So I ran her social security number through one of those websites.
Her number matches her name.
But she's got no credit history until three years ago.
And based on her number, she was born around 1945.
She stole someone's identity.
Supraventricular tachycardia, 150 bpm.
- Carotid massage? - Not responding.
- I'll get the adenosine.
- Tried already.
Get the pacemaker, we can overdrive her.
Dorothy.
Dorothy.
Dorothy, dear.
It's Aunt Em, darling.
What's wrong with me? Well, on the one hand, you've got some mysterious heart and tummy problems.
On the other, you look great for a 65-year-old.
So who are you? And no, that's not some weird Canadian pronunciation of "how.
" They're saying you changed your identity.
What are they talking about, Margaret? I don't know.
Well, that falls in the "obviously stupid lie" category.
Which you're familiar with from the one you told us about your bike accident.
You thought we'd never check? Five years ago, I was married.
Who was he? Just a guy.
I met him in high school.
He was older.
He used to get jealous, do drugs.
Those broken bones? He would tell me to take off all my clothes, so he could inspect me, then he would hit me.
I got a restraining order, ran away.
And he found me anyway.
That's when he broke my ribs.
I moved away again, to Arizona.
Came back from work one day, he'd broken in, fed pesticides to my dog, killed her.
I bought a dead woman's identity, changed my name, moved here.
Is this related to why you were in Trenton yesterday? There's a support group for abused women at Trenton General.
I go a lot.
What's his name? Please don't do this.
I don't Just tell me.
Carl.
Carl what? This is why I didn't tell you.
'Cause you go confront him, he'll kill you.
Well, I got another name you could tell us instead.
Yours.
It's Jenny.
Now, some person seemed to think that I was not being fair to you in our last DDx, because I made you nervous.
So this time, I'm gonna put you at ease.
It's just you and old Doc House.
Couple of pals chittin' the chat.
Why not just place her chair above a trap door with a shark tank underneath? Because Wednesday's when I get my shark tank cleaned.
Also, because I'm giving her a chance.
You're giving her a test.
This whole job is a test.
I'm giving her the chance to fail it sooner rather than later.
Or pass.
Arrhythmia and elevated LFTs rule out hepatic fibrosis.
So heart and stomach.
Gastritis.
Explains the stomach, not the heart.
Atrial fibrillation? Explains the heart, not the stomach.
Sorry, sorry.
Cystitis.
Explains the Nothing.
I meant cholecystitis.
Would have showed up on the physical exam.
Do we have to sit here all day? You got a better answer than she does, then let's hear it.
I'm sure she's already starting to think how, if we add the symptoms to an abusive ex, the fact that she'd just eaten, the opened door Rhymes with "moison"? You think her ex-husband tried to poison her? Even if he found her somehow, these abusers have a pattern.
He beat her with his hands.
Poison's too impersonal, it doesn't fit.
Exactly, but the counterargument is Her ex poisoned her dog.
Oh.
Right.
She said he used pesticides.
He could have stuck some in her dinner.
Treat with pralidoxime.
A for effort? House was wrong trying to come up with a complicated reason you hired Kelly.
Thank you.
It's actually quite simple.
You think she's hot and you want to sleep with her.
Well, it's nice to see you finally taking an interest in my life.
We should go bowling sometime.
I'm just saying if you spend all your off-work time and energy getting laid, it's gonna spill into your work as well.
She's smart.
You didn't interview her.
I did glance at her résumé.
Middling grades, middling med school.
She was editor for Rutgers' daily undergrad newspaper.
That shows a lot more guts and determination than med school grades.
Uh-huh? How long did you interview her? Forty-five minutes, at least.
How much of that was after you decided to hire her? You saw what you wanted to see.
This guy broke into our house? That's the theory.
I don't know.
It could be true.
And you didn't tell me about him because you didn't trust me? I just didn't want you to get involved.
I'm already involved.
We're married.
It was the worst time in my life.
I wanted to block it out.
I'm sorry.
I gotta get out of here.
Where are you going? I don't know.
Hey.
So I'm seeing you tonight.
Yes.
And you would have even if you hadn't told me that.
I was just wondering Your masseuse? Brandi.
I'm sure I'm imagining this, although not as sure now that I know her name, but she seems a little How do I say this? I don't know.
A bit slutty.
Well, she is a hooker.
If she's not slutty, she's doing something wrong.
What? Did you have sex with her? Yesterday? Ah! You're getting confused by the hooker thing.
No, of course not.
I'm dating you.
But you used to have sex with her? Well, it was a massage-plus-happy-ending sort of thing.
Now it's more of a sad ending.
Because of you.
I've tried 15 different massage therapists in the last few years.
I don't know why, but she's the best I've found.
She makes my leg feel better.
So you really think that I would be okay with you getting a massage from a hooker you used to have sex with? You don't mind the massage part.
You mind the sex part, which doesn't exist anymore.
I know a great physical therapist.
I will give you her number.
Why would I give up one who definitely works for one who might work? Because I asked you to.
Well, that's not really an argument now, is it? I won't see you until you stop seeing her.
Well, that's an argument.
How's our patient doing? Well, she's stable but it's too early to tell if the pralidoxime is working.
Come on, go home.
You can't re-cram all of med school right now.
I'm feeling a lot of pressure here.
You were the editor of your school paper, I think you know how to deal with pressure.
No, I wasn't.
On your résumé, it said, "Rutgers Daily Herald, Editor.
" Didn't it? I wasn't head of the paper.
That's called "Editor-in-Chief.
" I was just a writer.
We're all called editors.
Ah.
Did you hire me because of that? Not entirely.
Look, if you're having buyers' remorse I'm not.
I'm not.
You might wanna check out volume two on infectious diseases.
Patient's husband just got admitted to the ER.
Let's say you had a really fantastic handyman.
I was hoping you'd interrupt my cooking to ask about handymen.
Do go on.
Would Sam ask you to stop using him, because you might have had a sexual relationship with him in the past? Yes, the age-old hooker-massage conundrum.
Cuddy might have mentioned something about it.
Let's say you're right, completely right about everything.
Give in anyway.
This isn't a point of pride, this is a point of principle.
Right, you're the Rosa Parks of hooker massages.
The principle is she's being irrational.
I give in on this, it sets the stage for the whole relationship.
Putting up with irrationality is the foundation for every relationship.
I agree with Sam when she's calling her father a monster.
I agree with her when she's calling him a saint.
And in exchange, I get to have sex with her.
And I'm sure she has similar tradeoffs with me.
Relationships are hard.
You have to make sacrifices.
So, sacrifice being crazy.
Go get her a gift, apologize.
You've finally made a good point.
Which clearly you've misunderstood, based on how quickly you agreed.
Kitchen's burning.
Oh! We gotta get you thinking like House.
The husband's in the ER, if he's got similar symptoms, it could mean environmental.
Which helps our organophosphate theory.
Or maybe it's an infection, which would mean we were wrong.
Exactly.
Or maybe he just got sick with something else.
A coincidence? Yeah.
Here's one big piece of advice, House doesn't buy coincidences.
Okay.
It's not environmental.
What happened to you? What does it look like? It looks like someone kicked your arse.
What happened? I looked in her address book.
There's a guy named Carl in Brooklyn.
She told you to stay away from him.
I'm not so good at following directions sometimes.
I found him, I got angry, which I also do sometimes.
He said he didn't know what I was talking about, he wouldn't let me in, I got more pissed.
Next thing I know, I'm on the floor, and he's called the cops.
You get arrested? No, he didn't press charges.
Well, you should press charges.
If he tried to poison her No.
He really didn't know what I was talking about.
He was just some guy that Margaret Damn it, that's not even her name, Jenny just Some guy that Jenny used to work with.
I was stupid.
I just assumed the name Carl was I just wanted to find the guy that poisoned my wife.
What's up? Pyrexia, 103 and rising.
I'll be right up.
Your wife just spiked a fever.
What? What's that mean? She wasn't poisoned.
What are you doing? Just letting you all share in the joys of my last trip to Carlsbad Caverns.
Which the husband probably would have beaten up if he'd found it in the address book.
Would you mind standing next to the screen? Yeah, she'd love to become a target for your ridicule.
She's not already? Endocarditis? Normal EKG.
No Osler nodes.
Right, Dr.
Kelly.
Kelly's her first name.
What's your point, Dr.
Robert? Run an echo.
I already did.
No vegetations, valves are clear.
Snapilicious! But as I always like to say, it's better to be a Helpful Helen than a Negative Nelly.
So while you're cooking up some ideas of your own, allow me to present theory Dr.
Kelly, meet your doppelgänger.
Oh, no.
Hold on a second.
Come on.
House.
Is that That's Baby Chase and his mum.
That's adorable.
Never mind the baby.
Peep the babe.
Note the cheekbones and eye shape.
They do actually look alike.
I know what you're thinking, "Chase wants to sleep with his mom.
" But who wouldn't hit that, if that looked like that? - It's a classic case of what Freud called - Stop.
This isn't about Chase's mother.
You're wrong.
What do you mean, he's wrong? It is about your mom? No.
So it's about I'm assuming he thought I'd be a good member of the team.
And on that subject, what about Legionnaires'? Taub said he saw a rattle-y, old air conditioner in the patient's house.
I don't care if he saw her licking a petri dish of bacilli.
There's no lung involvement.
All we know is we don't see it.
Dehydration from the fever could hide the pneumonia.
Okay.
Forget the mom theory.
Now water the patient, treat for Legionnaires'.
Hey, Taub.
You didn't write up the AC system.
Did you mention it to Kelly? No.
You mentioned it to Chase? Yeah.
Whose idea was Legionnaires'? Dr.
Chase's.
Well, you get major points for trying to trick me.
Unfortunately, you lose them all for failing.
Hold that, hold that.
See, now you're frowning, you can really see the resemblance.
Who gives a crap if I prepped her? House.
And that's just off the top of my head.
Why are you doing this? You're trying to make me look bad so you look better? Or you don't like her? Or you're angry at me? What? We hire someone unqualified, it's just dead weight we'll all be pulling.
Me especially.
You especially, why? What do you mean, why? Because I'm You're what? You're my boss or something? Something like.
So that's what it is.
You're angry that House gave me the chance to hire someone, 'cause you still think you're at a different level to everyone else.
That's just pathetic.
I am at a different level.
Which is reflected in what, exactly? Your title? No.
Your salary? Not really.
Your responsibilities? Hardly.
Your attitude? Ah.
I think we've finally found it.
Doesn't change the fact that you made a bad decision because you wanna get laid.
Or the fact that you're courageously picking on Kelly, 'cause you're scared to take on House.
Congratulations.
You're a real leader.
I am Felipe.
Oh, you've got to be kidding.
Dr.
House was worried how you left things.
He is giving you massage.
As an admission he was wrong? Yes.
Well, tell him thanks, but I have a meeting with Dr.
Schatz in 20 minutes.
He says you would say that, and to say, "No, you don't.
" Well, tell him he needs to stop canceling my appointments, because I will just reschedule them.
He says you would say that, and to say, uh, "That Dr.
Schatz is a fat, lonely moron "who, in an effort to have contact with a human female, "makes the same exact complaint about parking spaces every month, "and you know you have to stop enabling him.
" I have great fingers.
That's so nice.
Thank you.
How long have you been a masseur? What is that, "masseur"? A massage therapist? Oh.
No, not long.
How did my boyfriend find you? Boyfriend? Dr.
House.
He is your boyfriend? Why is that surprising? I just mean, if he found me, I do not think he's got no girlfriend.
Are you a prostitute? Are you a cop? Then no.
Get your hands off me.
I didn't know you smoked.
I don't.
I don't mind screwing up.
I've screwed up in my life, and I've gotten over it.
But I'm not a cheater and I'm not a liar, and now I feel like both.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
You work with House, you kind of get a messed-up perspective of what's permissible in the workplace.
Maybe I should just quit.
No.
You're smart, you're hardworking.
Yeah, but I'm not like you guys.
Use what makes you different.
A lot of this job is reading people, dealing with them.
You're a psychiatrist.
Use your skills.
You okay? I checked with Trenton General.
There's no support group for abused women.
Maybe it was just If she was lying about that, what else is she lying about? I mean, maybe she wasn't even abused.
Maybe she's a criminal.
Who the hell knows? You don't know, that's the point.
The way she's acting, that's the way abuse victims act.
Their personalities are affected by what they went through.
They find coping mechanisms.
I gotta talk to her about this Trenton thing.
If you wake her up, make her feel defensive, it'll go bad.
She doesn't need any more hostility or aggression in her life.
Okay.
Seriously? A massage from a male hooker? He was? Huh! Well, it doesn't bother me at all.
I guess we both learned a valuable lesson.
Except that I didn't use to have sex with him, you idiot.
Plus, he was a gay hooker.
Have you any idea how hard it is to find a straight male hooker? Come on.
It's a massage! I don't care who gives it to you.
Why not treat me the same way? I'm sure that some part of you believes this idiocy, but you can't possibly be stupid enough to think that you can convince any part of me.
And that can only mean you're trying to sabotage this relationship.
Why would I do that? We're doing fine.
Because the next step from fine is serious.
And you can't handle that.
So you're trying to keep me at arm's length with all this crap.
How about you? I have been completely open with you.
You won't let me sleep over.
You basically haven't introduced me to your daughter.
But do you want to spend time with her? Honestly, before this, I would have said no.
But, yeah, how are we ever gonna be a couple if you keep hiding her from me? House.
I need to protect her.
If I let you into her life and you go away I can call it what it is.
I'm not the only one who's holding back.
Hey, baby.
I am not getting mad.
I'm just trying to understand you here.
But there's no meeting like you talked about at Trenton General.
You see, it turns out that Turns out.
The turnout.
The turnout.
It's been turned.
Turning.
What? Turning.
Hey.
- The turnout.
The turnout.
- It's turning.
BILLY: Hey.
You're going to burn.
What's happening to her? - It's hit her brain.
- Whatever "it" is.
Opacity in the left temporal lobe.
It could be nothing.
Which would get us nowhere, so let's assume it's something.
What kind of something? Abscess.
Or lymphoma, or Wegener's.
We'd have to biopsy it to be sure.
Any of them could explain all of the symptoms.
You know, we're assuming everything is connected.
Because it probably is.
But her delusions are consistent with mental illness.
Bipolar disease, for example.
She's 30, it could be hitting her right now for the first time.
So her mind just happens to fall apart right after her body? I thought I was having a bad week.
I know it sounds coincidental, but You know what, I'm back to the Cameron theory.
But you hired the dumb version of Cameron, so you can fire her and get revenge Give her a break.
What, you switched sides? Let me guess, Chase represents the dumb version of Thirteen I realized if we all just keep pressuring Kelly, of course she's gonna get stuff wrong.
It's irresponsible of me to let that happen.
You are a true leader of men.
Get someone to cut into her head and get me a biopsy.
Whoa! Just say "hold on" next time.
Her temperature's normal.
So what? She was on the cooling blanket.
We took her off an hour ago.
She should be febrile again.
Tell House one of the patient's symptoms just disappeared.
Could it be Legionnaires', and our treatment worked? I wish, but no, we've been hydrating her, and there's still no lung involvement.
So relapsing, remitting fever.
Malaria, dengue Why wasn't she frozen? This morning.
If you put a healthy person on a cooling blanket, they'd be chilled like a fine chardonnay.
She's a nice warm merlot, I didn't want her to freeze.
So you titrated the blanket.
As her fever dropped, you lower the power.
Exactly.
So it's been on the lowest setting since when? Yesterday afternoon.
Which means we could have known that her fever was gone yesterday afternoon.
- The fever was brief.
- Sounds like a reaction to medication.
The antibiotics? Without vomiting? When did she last puke? Not since she was admitted.
Two down.
Shooting for three.
You're gonna turn her pacemaker off? You sure that's a good idea? No.
But it might be.
No tachycardia.
So only the delusions are left, if they're even still there.
Maybe it is a bipolar disorder.
She's female, she's 30 It's not a coincidence.
You gotta stop doing this.
But it could've been prompted by the physical symptoms.
You couldn't be more wrong.
You got the cause and effect backwards.
Start her on haloperidol and lorazepam.
Give it a few hours to take effect.
Call me when she awakes.
Still hallucinating.
Can you hear me? What are you looking at? The table, it's on fire.
If it was, you think I'd be able to do this, without screaming for my mommy? Thank you.
Don't be too impressed.
It's mostly the happy pills you put her on.
But she can talk to us now.
The obviously stupid lie you told us about your hospital records, it turns out to have been un-obviously un-stupid.
You thought you wouldn't get caught, 'cause you thought that you'd be cured and back home by the time we spoke to the other hospital.
Because you knew what was wrong with you.
Your doctor was treating you with risperidone, right? That's why you were in Trenton.
You had the stomach pain, you went to see him, he wanted you to taper off Her doctor's not in Trenton.
Not the one you know about.
If you haven't figured it out by now, your wife has a secret.
What the hell is he talking about? This about your ex? The ex was not so much a secret, more of a lie.
You weren't married before, were you? I'm sorry, I didn't want you to know about it.
Know about what? She's sick.
She's been sick for years.
Maybe it put you on the streets, maybe that's where you got the broken bones.
She's only suffering from one condition.
Everything else is side effects of the drug that was treating it.
When she stopped taking the drug, the side effects faded, but the underlying disease is still there.
Why don't you tell your husband? Billy, I'm schizophrenic.
That's the kind of thing that a recent psychiatric resident might have figured out.
What the hell am I supposed to do now? Nothing.
Her physical symptoms are gone.
We'll put her on a different anti-psychotic for the mental ones.
You can take a nap.
This is not who I married.
Of course she is.
You just didn't know it.
I don't know if I can stay with her.
Sorry, as your marriage counselor, I'm not allowed to talk to you without your wife present.
Just tell me how hard it would be for us to handle this, medically.
Look, if you want me to give you a reason to leave her, fine.
Apparently you haven't noticed, but she's got a serious mental illness.
It's too hard.
It's always hard.
Okay, so I made a mistake.
Kelly will make a fine doctor, but she's not ready for the team.
Up to you.
What? You like her now? Nope.
But she got me to the right answer, which none of the rest of you did.
If you want to give her another shot, go for it.
Okay.
I will.
Great.
It'll make it easier for you to sleep with her.
Come on.
Why else would you have hired her? That's not why I hired her.
What are you doing? Got bored with the porn on my computer.
You got any girl-on-girl- on-girl-on-vibrating- object-on-girl stuff? I wouldn't have to do this if you'd gave me the name of that physical therapist you like.
You done with Brandi? Eh Knobby hands.
I will get you the name.
Let's stay at my place tonight, okay? Will you get cable? No.
Then we'll have to have more sex.
Okay.
What are you doing? Quitting before House fires me.
Hold on.
We both know he is.
But maybe there's a bright side.
What? You really looked out for me.
And you seem like a really good guy.
And I never date anybody who I work with, but Yeah.
Sorry it didn't work out.
You want to get dinner tomorrow night? You want some more meat? This is meat? Yes, please.
Hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
Kid, come on, come on, come on.
Come on.
Hey, hey.
Aren't you adorable.