Desperate Housewives s07e14 Episode Script

Previously on Desperate Housewives.
You're marrying him for his money? Lynette had reservations about her mother's marriage.
You can't marry an obnoxious jerk like that.
Susan began her wait for a kidney donor.
I'm going on the wait list.
That could take years.
Bree found out that Keith had a son, but decided not to tell him.
Keith feels that it would be too difficult for everyone.
Easing her guilt with a check.
-Get out of the car! -Oh, God! Gabby's obsession with her doll -I've got to get my baby.
-Get out! nearly cost her life.
Gabby! It's not Grace.
And Paul recognized the gun that was used to shoot him.
Paul Young had a son.
But he had not seen Zach in years.
He had lost him to a world of fast women, easy money, and hard drugs.
Yes, Paul had lost his son, but he was determined to find him, and he would do anything.
Even if that meant asking for help from a man who despised him.
What the hell are you doing here? I need a favor.
From me? I know.
You hate me.
And I hate you.
Now that we're done with our traditional greeting, can I tell you what I want? Yeah, go ahead.
I need to find Zach.
I went to that mansion his grandfather left him.
It's in foreclosure.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Do you know where he went? Yeah, I don't know where he is.
And even if I did, why would I do you any favors? Zach's the one who shot me.
What? The police showed me the gun.
It was the same one Mary Alice used to kill herself.
And Zach kept it? He's always been a strange boy.
If you really think he tried to kill you, why didn't you tell the police? I'd like to keep this in the family.
So again, where is he? Last I heard, Idaho.
Well, if you hear from him, tell him I know what he did.
And I'm very disappointed.
Though he didn't admit it, Mike knew exactly where Zach was.
But the son Paul Young had lost had no interest in being found.
It doesn't matter where we're going.
It doesn't matter how quickly we try to get there.
It doesn't matter that we never look back.
The past we left behind will still find a way to catch up to us.
I'm making grilled salmon.
Why did you get a pizza? Because you're making grilled salmon.
I wish you wouldn't put that terrible food in your body.
It's not good for you.
-Come on, you know you want a bite.
-Uh-uh.
Eat it.
Eat it.
Seriously, I have better tasting food under my refrigerator.
Hello? Hi, Bree, it's Amber.
I'm sorry to bother you.
Oh, no bother.
Look, I'm outside.
I need to talk to you.
No, don't come over, I'll come to you.
See you soon.
I need to run to Lynette's for a minute.
Do you mind waiting for dinner? Hurry up, I'm starved.
Hi.
So, the bank says your check is going to take five days to clear.
Is there any way you can get me a cashier's check? I really need to pay some bills.
Absolutely.
There's a restaurant across from the bank.
I can meet you there tomorrow at 2:00.
That'll be great.
Thank you again, Bree.
Bree, wait.
I know Keith doesn't want to meet Charlie.
But he should at least know what his son looks like.
I'm sure he'll appreciate that.
Thanks.
So, according to the donor database I will be waiting three to four years? Where does that put me on the list? I mean, is there a number? There is no number.
It all boils down to your DNA and how long you've been waiting.
So, you have your beeper Yep.
Four years is a long time.
Susan Bremmer? Yeah? Monroe Carter.
From Fairview High.
I sat behind you in Chem Lab, I was yearbook photographer.
Now I sell pharmaceutical supplies.
You know, I friended you on Facebook, like, 12 times.
Oh.
I guess I didn't get them.
No worries.
Tell me, what's new? How are you? I need a kidney transplant.
I'm going to be spending the next three to four years on dialysis three times a week, five hours a day.
Wow.
I didn't know.
Then again, if you had friended me I'll see you at the reunion, if I'm still alive.
-You like? -Wow.
Frank gave them to me.
They belonged to my first wife.
She's dead.
Isn't that a little weird? Hell no.
The necklace belonged to his second wife.
And she's sitting right over there.
That's weird.
Well, I have to admit, you two seem very happy together.
Tell her about Saturday.
What about Saturday? Frank wants you to bring Tom and the kids back up here.
I want to take a family portrait.
Family is very important to Frank.
And since my first three families aren't speaking to me, I want to get this one right.
So I can rub it in their miserable faces.
That's a sweet thought, but Saturdays are kind of crazy for us.
Penny's got ballet, Parker's studying for the SATs Well, how about I make it worth your while? You're bribing me? Call it gas money if it'll make you feel any better.
Will 500 do it? I'm not taking his money.
Frank, isn't it time for your heart medicine? Look how she takes care of me.
Do what you have to do to make this work.
But I'm not going over a grand.
What are you doing? I just married the man.
He's in the process of redoing his will.
So we've gotta play ball.
No.
I am not going to bend over backwards just to please that jerk.
You're the one who married him, not me.
I can't tell Frank no.
But I can tell you no.
So if you want the picture, you can come to our house.
Fine.
I'll talk to him.
And will you stop staring at this necklace, Phyllis? You are not getting it back.
So the fashion show ends, and Yves Saint Laurent, who doesn't swim, by the way, rents a yacht for the after-party.
And that's where I met Mick Jagger.
Do you have any wine? We don't really do wine in therapy.
Ah.
Well, you should.
A few glasses and you'd have your patients whining about how Daddy didn't love them in half the time.
Did your father not love you? I was joking.
My dad was great.
He died when I was a kid.
Well, that must have been hard, growing up without a male presence.
No, she remarried.
Oh, my God, I forgot to tell you the best part of the Jagger story.
He read my palm, and he told me I would be going below deck to have sex with him.
Not only is he a great singer, he's an amazing psychic.
Gabby, why don't you like talking about your childhood? What's the point? The past is the past.
Well, sometimes what happens to us in the past affects who we are today.
Oh! By the way, Jagger? Big cuddler.
Gabby, come on, we're going to have to go deeper here.
Well, that's the thing about me.
There is no deeper.
Ask any of my friends.
I'm the shallowest person they know.
I'm just skin, a little blood, and stories about Keith Richards drinking out of my shoes.
You don't have to be afraid.
Let's talk about your childhood.
I love therapy! Really? Yeah.
It's like a talk show, where I'm the guest, and the only topic is me! So, it's helping? You talked to her about the doll? That is confidential.
First rule of therapy.
Actually, first rule of therapy is no wine, but I'm gonna change that.
I'm so glad this is working.
I've been worried about you.
It's exactly what I needed.
In fact, I'm gonna be going three times a week.
Mondays, Thursdays, and Fridays.
Wow.
That's a lot.
Well, it was your idea.
By the way, you're gonna have to take over my carpools on Mondays.
That's okay, right? Sure, I guess I could move some things around.
Oh! And no golf on Thursdays, because you'll have to take Juanita to ballet.
Gabby, I do business on the links.
Do you want me to get better or not? Okay, okay.
I will cancel golf.
Oh, and on Friday I have a gynecologist appointment Gabby! that I need you to cancel.
Wouldn't that be great, though? -Hi.
-Hi.
I see you brought Charlie.
Well, you know, I don't have anyone to watch him.
I have your cashier's check.
Thank you again, Bree.
Honey, let's go.
No! I haven't finished my pizza! -Let's go.
-No.
Listen, Bree, do you mind keeping an eye on him? The bank is right across the way.
I'll only be 10 minutes.
I don't know Just order some pizza.
It'll be on me.
So, Charlie I'm gonna play games.
Right.
Much better than conversation.
-Mr.
Lynwood -Susan! My beeper went off.
Does that mean Yes.
We've found you a donor.
But how? I mean, you said it would probably take years.
Well, the rules change if someone wants to donate a kidney to a specific individual.
Wait? This is someone I know? Apparently.
He's in my office right now signing the paperwork.
It's a he? I'm getting a man kidney? Not that I'm complaining.
Oh, my God.
Hey, Susan.
Monroe? You're my donor? Yeah.
Turns out I'm a match.
I mean, what are the odds, huh? I don't know what to say.
Well, I'm giving you a vital organ.
How about "thank you?" Why would you do this? We haven't seen each other in years.
And I barely remembered you.
I remembered you.
You were really wonderful to me in high school.
And you're in trouble.
And I want to help.
Wow.
Well, thank you.
So what's a guy got to do to get a hug? Give you a lung? Come here, you.
Please know you've made me very happy.
I'm so glad.
Busted.
I'm on my way to Mrs.
Goodman's place to finish that job and what do I see? Your car parked in front of a pizza joint.
-Yeah, about that -Admit it.
You're hooked! What are you? A deep-dish girl? Thin crust? Yep, you got me.
I am a closet pizza lover.
Mystery solved.
You can go to your job now.
I need more quarters.
Who's this? What do you got, some secret boyfriend? This is Charlie.
I'm watching him for a friend of mine.
I'm sorry, Charlie, I don't have any more change.
Now, could you excuse us? You got quarters? I got some.
Come on.
What about Mrs.
Goodman? She's lived without a screen door for 30 years, she can wait another half hour.
All right, let's see what you got.
I'm gonna show you something.
This is a secret, all right? But this is just between you and me.
Hand in the cookie jar.
Bam! Let's see it.
Hey! High-five.
That was a good one.
Let's see it again.
One more.
Step back jumper.
Fade away.
Nice one.
Are you kidding me? One more? I'm calling the NBA.
That was awesome! Did you see that? Three in a row! I certainly did.
It was wonderful.
Charlie, I gotta take off.
Nice meeting you.
See you later.
Bye! Bye.
Remember me when you're on the Lakers.
Okay They're here.
Whoa, Frank drives a Bentley.
Of course he does.
Why are we taking this stupid picture? I mean, we barely even know the guy.
We're doing it for your grandma.
And the lovely man she just married.
Hello.
Welcome.
Hello, everybody! -Hey, Grandma.
-Hey, Grandma.
So this really is where they live? I thought you were kidding.
How was the drive over, Frank? It took forever.
We got behind this Asian woman driver, slow as soy sauce going uphill in winter.
Okay, small talk's over.
Let's take the picture.
We were all thinking we'd sit over here.
No, I don't want to see your crappy kitchen in the background.
Let's move this sofa over there.
I want it to be real homey.
Cagney and Lacey, you grab this end of the couch.
What are you doing? You can't just walk into people's houses and move furniture around.
When it looks like this, you can.
No, no, no! Put it back.
It's bad enough you make me drive all the way out here to East Podunk.
Well, bull! I want my picture my way.
Hey! Whatever you say.
Frank, that's too heavy.
You're all red.
Yeah, that's 'cause the girls here were not much help.
Okay, everyone, come and take your place around Grandpa Frank.
Okay, here we go.
Everybody smile and say "Bentley!" -Bentley! -Bentley! Okay! Nobody move.
I want to check that it's good.
Hang on, we have to do it again.
Frank, your eyes are closed.
Frank? Frank? Oh, no.
What's wrong? He's dead.
Of course he is.
There is no pulse.
No pulse.
He is definitely dead.
Is his ghost going to be trapped in our house? Is he going to haunt us? No, honey, of course not.
Right? Gross! A dead guy's on our couch.
And I'm having friends over.
How long till he starts to smell? Kids, go upstairs.
There's nothing to see here.
Whoa! What are you talking about? There's a dead body! That's totally something to see.
Okay! Kids, come on.
Let's go.
Upstairs.
Come on.
Mom, I'm so sorry.
Well, I can't believe he's gone.
Just like that.
I know.
I know.
What are you doing? I'm calling the police so they can get a coroner over here.
Hang on.
You can't call them yet.
Why not? That new will I told you about? The one leaving everything to me? It doesn't go into effect until tomorrow.
Oh, no.
No, no.
You want me to keep him here, like that, all night? If we call the coroner now, I get nothing.
If we call in the morning, millions.
I didn't want Frank in my house when he was alive.
Now you want me to hang out with his corpse? Well, then throw a sheet over him and spray a little air freshener, you won't even notice.
Frank wanted me to have that money.
No! It's too weird.
You wouldn't have to take care of me anymore.
In fact, I could even take care of you.
College tuition, braces It would make me feel so good to be able to help you for a change.
It's been a long time, son.
Yeah, I guess.
How's it going? I couldn't be better.
What can I do for you? Wait, wait, wait, let me guess.
You want money.
I nailed it, didn't I? But you can see, a lot of other people, they They got here first.
Well, sorry to hear that.
Who cares? It was time to downsize.
Minimize my carbon footprint.
You feeling okay, buddy? I feel great.
Sounds like you're the one having problems.
Well, Susan and I are going through a rough time, like a lot of people.
So how screwed are you? We had to rent out our house.
To your father, in fact.
My father's in prison.
He's out.
You didn't know? No.
Are you sure you're okay? I just can't believe that bastard gets to walk free.
After everything that he did! I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
It's okay.
Just Could you leave? I need to be alone.
Just Tom.
You never sneak up behind someone when they're staring at a dead person.
-Jeez! -I'm sorry.
It's just, your scream.
It was like all the testosterone left your body at once.
This whole thing creeps me out.
It's just a body.
How do you become this guy? Nine kids, 14 grandchildren, and you never talk to any of them.
That's the tricky thing about money.
It changes people.
It changes relationships.
It sure does.
And after you're dead, what's it all mean? Not funny! Hello? Hi, this is Maria.
I'm just calling to confirm Gabrielle Solis for her 1:00 appointment.
Yep.
She's on her way.
Terrific.
You wouldn't happen to know what kind of treatment she wants today, do you? I don't know.
Whatever you've been doing seems to be working.
Well, on Monday, she got the seaweed wrap.
Wednesday, the hot stone massage.
We just want to make sure she takes full advantage of our entire spa menu.
Oh, she is taking full advantage, all right.
Good, Sandro, there you are.
I think we should start on my shoulders today.
Mmm.
That's good.
Maybe a little lighter on the pressure.
No, no, lighter.
Okay, maybe let's not do the shoulders.
Okay, how about the glutes? Carlos? What are you doing here? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in therapy.
This is therapy! Didn't you see the sign? Massage therapy, aromatherapy I talked to Dr.
Wyner.
She said that you haven't been back since the first session.
Why not? Well, I just don't think I really need it.
I mean, this is really helping.
No, this is ignoring the problem.
You know, the way you say "problem," you make it seem a whole lot worse than it actually is.
Gabby, you almost got us killed pulling a doll out of the car.
Fine.
If it'll get you off my ass, I'll make an appointment for next week.
Now get your clothes on.
We're leaving.
God, now I'm so tense.
I'll give you 100 bucks if you work on my shoulders for 10 minutes.
That's for free.
Let's go.
He came downstairs just after midnight to watch some TV, and we didn't find him until this morning.
Well, in that case, I'll just put down time of death around 3:00 a.
m.
Would you like us to bring the body directly to the funeral home? Yes, thank you.
Again, ma'am, I'm sorry for your loss.
Oh, my God.
I'm rich! Again, ma'am, I'm sorry for your loss.
Oh, I know.
I spent some of the best weeks of my life with Frank.
But he's gone.
There's nothing we can do about it.
And I am a millionaire.
Good.
You can buy me a new couch.
I'll buy you whatever you want.
I was kidding.
Well, I wasn't.
What do you need? Anyone? I need a laptop for school.
Done.
Can I have a motorcycle? For school.
Kids, knock it off.
Frank's body is not even in the van yet.
Actually, it is.
I don't care.
We are not talking about money right now.
A man died.
Not a bank account, a man.
Let's show a little respect.
We should probably figure out what to do about that Bentley.
Zach? Anybody here? Zach, Zach, it's me! Sorry, it's a rough neighborhood.
You know how it is.
So, two visits in one year.
What's up? Hey, would you mind sitting down? We need to talk.
Do we? Sure.
Just a minute.
Who're you looking for, Zach? Your father? Paul came to see me.
He thinks you shot him.
That true? Okay.
I shot him.
He ruined my life, but he gets to start his over.
It didn't seem right.
Oh, God.
It was easy.
I practiced it, in my head, over and over again.
And then, bam! Showtime.
But then I got all paranoid and I dumped the stupid gun at Bree's.
I mean, I don't know what I was thinking with that one.
I wasn't thinking.
Yeah, that's the problem with being high.
You do things without thinking.
What? I'm not using drugs.
Zach.
I've been there.
You need help.
Now, we're gonna get you into rehab.
You want to send me to rehab? So, what, my father can come and find me and take me to prison? No way.
I just want to get you some help.
It's too late for you to pretend to be my father.
You're right.
But I still care.
Then why did you let me go in the first place? You're the one who let me get raised by that monster.
No, that's not how things happened.
I don't care.
I don't care.
Let me help you to Just get out of my house, all right? Just get out of my house! It's really nice of you to have me over.
Are you kidding? I am going to be spending the rest of my life thinking of ways to thank you.
But as a start Oh, really? Come on.
All right, let's Wow.
That is so sweet.
A crystal heart.
I looked for a crystal kidney.
Surprisingly hard to find.
In high school, I always dreamt you'd give me your heart.
Speaking of high school, I have a present for you, too.
In addition to the one that's being ripped out of your body? I'm sorry, that was a little too vivid.
No, that's all right.
Here Here you go.
What is this? It's just some memorabilia that I thought you'd enjoy.
Yeah.
Some photos I took that didn't make the cut for the yearbook.
Oh, my God! There I am on the field hockey team.
And in Pippin.
These are great.
Who else do you have in there? Oh, there's me on the debate club.
And me at the spring formal.
And me in a bathing suit, taken through a fence.
Not easy to get.
I mean, those bushes around your yard were really thick.
Oh.
Wow! Is this one of my old English papers? Yeah.
You threw it away, and I fished it out of the garbage.
That's also where I found this.
Here.
My retainer? Yeah, I would've returned it, but I was too scared to talk to you.
Isn't it funny how we're talking now? Yeah, really funny.
And now we're going to be bonded, you know, forever.
If you'd told me back in high school that one day my kidney would be cleansing Susan Bremmer's blood, I would've been the happiest guy on Earth.
Well, I'm glad I could make that happen for you.
Oh, my! Here.
Why don't you go see what's shaking at the malt shop? Wow.
Thanks, Grandma.
Hey! What's all this? A little thank you for all the help you've been the last few days.
Open it.
Open it.
Wow.
It's beautiful.
That's a lot of money.
There's more where that came from.
Hey, why don't you and the whole fam-damily come to my house for dinner Sunday night? I thought you were coming here Sunday night.
I was going to send one of the kids to pick you up.
Nah, I think it's better you come to me.
But Sunday's a school night, and Tom's got an early meeting Monday morning.
How about Saturday? Nah.
Sunday.
Heads up, dinners at the center are fancy.
You'll have to squeeze those boys of yours into some jackets and ties.
But, Mom.
Mom? Mom! Are you not listening? It's not gonna work for us.
I would think you would want to make it work, Lynette.
Given everything I'm going to be doing for the family.
Are you blackmailing me? No! I'm inviting you to dinner.
If you can't make it, I can ask one of your sisters.
No, no, no, no, no! No.
Cover your man! Come on! Hey, babe.
Game's almost over.
Are you kidding me? Are you okay? I'm sorry.
I should have given this to you before.
Why are you giving me a picture of the kid from the pizza place? He's your son.
I still can't get over this.
You run into some random classmate from high school and he's going to end up saving your life? Here's the part I can't get over.
You never put out for this guy? No.
No.
I barely remember him.
Monroe is just doing this incredibly selfless act of charity.
It's inspiring.
What's this? Nothing.
Just put that away.
It's got your name on the cover.
In glitter.
No.
It's just a gift from Monroe.
Can I please have that? Oh, my God! Yeah, you used to be cute.
What happened? No.
There's, like, a million pictures of you in here.
I guess he had a little crush on me.
"Crush?" No, Susan, this Monroe guy's obsessed with you.
This is a shrine.
-It is not.
-It is.
I know.
I've made them.
That's why I'm not allowed to mail things to Ryan Seacrest anymore.
It's creepy.
It's like the part of the movie when they go to the guy's basement and find the candles in front of the picture of the woman he's going to kill.
You know, those guys are often misunderstood.
And you're going to take a kidney from this man? Okay, I admit, I'm a little concerned.
And, yes, he may be 5% stalker.
Is this a lock of your hair? But if I don't take his kidney, I could wait another six years.
Why shouldn't I do it? Because you'll be forever connected to him.
You'll never get rid of him.
And I have a feeling that's not the only organ he wants to share with you.
Carlos, can you feel my forehead? No.
-I think I have a fever.
-You're fine.
-You didn't even feel! -'Cause I don't need to.
Liar.
No, I'm really sick! Let's reschedule.
I shouldn't see the therapist today.
We're going in.
What if I need to throw up? It's a therapist's office.
You're supposed to get it all out.
Carlos You are going to therapy and that's all there is to it! Fine! Can I at least go to the bathroom first? You know I have a bladder the size of a dime.
How many years have we been married? Too many if you ask me.
-Where do you think you're going? -I'm going home.
No.
Gabby, you are sick.
You need help.
Look, you want me to take pills? I will take them.
You want me to see a hypnotist? Bring him to the house.
Hell, I'll even let you hire a priest to do an exorcism.
But what I am not going to do, is talk to that woman in there.
Why not? Because she wants to talk about my childhood! Oh.
Can I say one thing? You did find a way to talk about it before.
With me.
Just that once.
We had gotten married.
I thought you had a right to know.
And you said that you never wanted to talk about it again.
And I have respected that.
But over the years, I have seen what it costs you.
The nights I hear you crying in the bathroom.
That sad look on your face when people ask about your past.
You think that you've left it behind, but you haven't, Gabby.
You carry that burden around with you.
I just want you to consider the idea that this therapist might be able to help you let all that go.
Can you come with me? So, when I lost Grace, it tapped into this need I have to protect children.
Where do you think this need came from? 'Cause no one protected me.
When I was a child my stepfather molested me.
Get in.
Why would I do that? I know where Zach is.
Are we driving to Idaho? Look, the reason I didn't tell you where he was before is I didn't know what you wanted to do to him.
But whatever it is, it can't be worse than what he's doing to himself.
And why should I care about that after he tried to kill me? He's your son.
He's my son.
He needs our help.
Hey, neighbor.
Monroe? What do you mean, "neighbor"? Well, your landlady's showing me an apartment.
I figure, now that we're back in each other's lives, it would be better if I lived close.
Yeah.
Here's the thing about that.
There's close.
And then there's Glenn Close.
Huh? This feels a little stalky.
Stalky? I'm giving you a kidney.
Monroe, come with me.
The other day, when you were over here, I did not give you the full story.
This is Mike.
He's my husband.
And this is our son, MJ.
Okay.
Why are you showing me this? Because I want you to see that there isn't room for anyone else in that picture.
Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful that you want to give me a kidney.
But once the operation is over, that has to be it.
Why? Because you want to be more than friends.
And I'm married.
Oh.
The tricky part is that I still need a kidney.
'Cause I want to stay healthy for the two special guys in that picture.
So if you still want to give me one, no strings attached, I will be honored to take it.
And you will have my eternal gratitude.
Yeah, but that's all I'll have.
What do you say? I can't.
I thought if I did this, then you would finally I know.
I know.
I'm so sorry.
Don't be.
I'll be fine.
All right.
I guess I'll see you around.
Actually, I guess I won't.
We may think we've left the past behind.
But it has a way of catching up to us.
Though we want to run away, we are forced to confront our past.
And the secrets that it buried must come into the light.
And then, if we are strong, we are able to move on.
Yes.
We all need to leave the past behind and move on toward the future.
And if we're lucky, we will have help getting there.