Desperate Housewives s07e17 Episode Script

Previously on Desperate Housewives.
We are going to do everything we can to get you a kidney, but in the meantime, live your life.
If there's things you're thinking about doing, do them now.
Susan's condition got worse.
You're dying, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Beth was rejected by her husband I kicked you out of this house.
That was the end! and abandoned by her mother.
I have no more use for you.
Goodbye.
But Bree brought hope.
Has the transplant office reached you? Am I a match? Yes! I'm here to donate a kidney.
It's the most important thing I've ever done.
And Beth made the ultimate sacrifice.
We need some help over here! We can never know the moment our lives are about to change forever.
We might be preparing dinner.
Coming home after a long day.
Enjoying a glass of wine.
Tending to our aches and pains.
And then, when we least expect it, the moment comes.
-Hello? - Susan? This is Craig Lynwood from Fairview Memorial.
-Hello? -DR.
JENKINS: Mr.
Young, this is Dr.
Jenkins from Fairview Memorial.
We have a kidney for you.
What? I'm sorry to tell you there's been a terrible accident.
What kind of accident? Your wife shot herself.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Mike! We have a kidney! Is she dead? We're keeping her on life support.
But I'm afraid there's no brain activity.
So how soon can we do this? How soon can you get here? I don't understand.
If there's no brain function, why is she on life support? Your wife is an organ donor, and we need to Stop.
You are not to touch her until I get there.
Yes.
There are moments that change our lives forever.
But not always in the way we might expect.
The women of Wisteria Lane look for any excuse to celebrate.
A bottle of champagne when you're not expecting.
A new dress for turning 39, again.
A triple-fudge cake to reward a personal best.
So when my friends heard about Susan's good fortune, they just couldn't resist.
Surprise! What? What are you supposed to say when someone gets an organ? "Kidney!" How about "congratulations"? We are so thrilled for you! When is this happening? I guess tonight.
So will you still be at my party Saturday? Because you did RSVP.
Well, it depends.
Can you move the party into the intensive care unit? So that's a no.
Gabby's in charge of the guest list, in case anybody else decides to flake at the last minute.
Hello, Susan.
Why, I didn't know you'd be bringing an entourage.
Well, it's a happy day on our street.
I would imagine a bit of a sad one, too.
No, I can just call the caterers, say there's one less person.
No big deal.
Isn't that a little harsh? I mean, she was a neighbor.
Who are you talking about? Your donor, Beth Young? Beth is her donor? Wait, you don't know any of this? Beth came to the ER with the transplant papers.
And then she shot herself.
Is she dead? She's on life support, but she's not gonna make it.
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, I thought you knew.
Her husband is with her now.
We want to give him some more time with her.
So we're anticipating a bit of a delay.
Poor Beth.
I just saw her yesterday.
I mean, she seemed off, but she always seemed a little off.
So I left.
How could I not have realized she was in so much pain? Oh, Bree, you couldn't have known this would happen.
Hey, you okay? I don't know.
It sounds like nothing's gonna happen tonight.
Why don't you just all go home and get some sleep? -Hello? -It's Karen.
Get your ass over here! I got something that belongs to you.
Little hint, it reeks of Mai Tais and you gave birth to it! I come downstairs to make breakfast and there he is, passed out, stewed to the gills! Again, Karen, we are so sorry.
If I wanted a drunk homo on my couch, I would've married my college boyfriend! You can let me go, all right? I'm okay.
"Okay"? You broke into a neighbor's house and passed out! I didn't break in.
I got a little confused and went in the wrong house.
You gotta admit, all of these places kind of look the same.
When you're drunk! Andrew, this is not good.
Calm down, all right? I just had a little too much fun last night.
You need to be very careful.
Thanks to me, you have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism.
What, just 'cause you're one, you want everyone in your little club? I'm not an alcoholic, okay? I got everything under control.
How bad is it? It's really bad.
When did it start? A while ago.
At first, it was just on the weekends.
Then sometimes during the week, and now it's every night.
I wish you had told me.
You know what I've started to do? I pretend I have to work late, so I don't have to come home and deal with him.
-Well, you need to talk to him.
-I have.
And he promises it'll get better.
But it only gets worse.
I love him, but I can't take it anymore.
I know.
It's very difficult.
No, Bree.
I'm thinking of leaving him.
Please don't.
Not yet.
Let me try to get him some help.
I'll talk to him.
No offense, but I don't think you're gonna get through to him.
Don't be so sure.
I once smuggled vodka into church in a "Jesus Saves" sports bottle.
I can be pretty resourceful.
Tables and chairs go out back, chafing dishes and flatware in the kitchen, and eyes off the boobs, but thanks for noticing.
Hey, I saw the party rental truck.
What's going on? What do you think? It's for our party tomorrow night.
What? Our Spring Fling? We're still flinging? Why wouldn't we be? Oh, I don't know.
Unless the theme is "Neighbors Who Blow Their Brains Out," I kind of thought the Beth Young thing might put a damper on the festivities.
Why? She wasn't even invited.
Well, we can't ignore the fact that one of our neighbors is dead.
Brain dead.
Big difference.
Besides, she seems like a clinger.
I bet she'll stick around for months.
So you think it's okay that we still throw this party? Gabby, it's not a party, it's an event.
Would you cancel the Oscars? Christmas? No! The invitations have been sent, the caterer has been hired.
Life is for the living, so let's live.
Well, the living did buy a new dress, Versace.
And I'm sure Beth would've loved to have seen you in that Versace.
She would have, wouldn't she? In a way, it could be a tribute to her.
And I did see the perfect tribute shoes at the mall.
Now that is the spirit.
Now, make sure the guests know the party is still on, and I will take care of the arrangements here.
Oh, and maybe we could have a moment of silence, and then a champagne toast in Beth's honor.
Oh! Fabulous idea.
Except, instead of champagne, let's do mojitos.
And instead of Beth, let's toast to us.
And the moment of silence? Would sound great with music! Oh.
Sorry.
Paul, I want you to know how sorry I am.
I can't imagine what you're going through right now.
I want you to know how grateful I am for this gift that Beth is giving me.
Obviously, it doesn't bring her back.
But I hope it will be a small comfort to you, knowing that in some way she'll live on.
Why would that give me comfort? Are you trying to tell me that my wife is dead, and that you're the consolation prize? No, that's not what I'm saying.
I hate to disappoint you, Susan, but my wife's not dead.
She's very much alive.
They told me there was no chance I don't care what they told you.
Beth is alive, and I intend to keep her that way as long as possible.
I'm not going to allow you to strip her for parts like some abandoned car.
That's not what's happening here.
This was Beth's idea Beth was not in her right mind when she signed those forms.
As far as I'm concerned, they mean nothing.
And what makes you think you deserve her kidney? Was it those meals you shared with her? All the girls' nights you included her in? The little gestures of kindness you offered to make her feel less alone? Right.
You gave her nothing in life.
And that's exactly what you're going to get in death.
I don't get this.
Beth signed the donation forms, and a living will.
Those are legal documents.
Aren't they binding? Yes and no.
You're gonna have to do a little better than "yes and no.
" Yes, they'll stand up in court.
But this hospital is not inclined to wage a legal battle against a grieving husband.
It's too delicate.
He's not a grieving husband.
Paul Young has a vendetta against my family.
He's only doing this to make us suffer.
Look, we can't publicly support you.
But if you decide to take this on, we won't stand in your way.
You're damn right we're gonna take this on.
No, we're not.
-Susan -We're not fighting Paul.
This is your life we're talking about here.
We can't let him win.
"Win"? His wife shot herself.
And you want to what, hire lawyers? Drag him to court? I know that you're only thinking of me, but this is Paul's decision to make.
It's not ours.
I just wanna go home.
Thanks for helping me drop these off.
Yeah, no problem.
It's nice to be out of the house.
When did you start catering again? Oh, it's nothing official.
Just when I'm needed.
And who's the client? Um They prefer to remain anonymous.
Coffee? Donuts? The old drunk guy from outside the supermarket? This is an AA meeting.
It's a wonderful program.
"Lying to your son.
" Which step is that? I'm sorry.
But now that you're here, why don't you give it a try? Just listen to people's shares and see if you relate.
And what am I supposed to say when I get up there and talk? "Hello, my name is Andrew, and my mommy brought me?" No one has to know we're related.
Andrew, please Just one meeting.
It could save your life.
Hey, I see you've met Bree.
My name's Tommy.
Welcome.
-First time? -Yes, first time.
My name is Elvis.
Elvis? Really? That's your name? Yes, it's Elvis.
Yet another reason for me to be mad at my mother.
Hey! How'd it go? We would've played better if there was a windmill.
Lynette, this is Glenn Morris, CEO of Morris Technologies.
A man who can throw a six-iron farther than he can hit with one.
-Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
So you guys wanna come over for a beer? You know what? I should go.
Next time? -Bye.
-See you.
Well, nice to meet you.
Hey, do you mind if I use the facilities before I hit the road? No, come on in.
The bathroom's down there.
We have five kids.
You might wanna squint.
Actually, I don't need a bathroom.
I need a CFO.
What? My Chief Financial Officer took a job in London.
And there's one name on my list for his replacement, Tom Scavo.
Tom Scavo! I know that guy! Wow, Glenn.
Where'd this come from? Well, Carlos is always bragging about you, so I started asking around.
Come to find out, everybody loves you.
What's not to love about Tom Scavo? Look, I'm prepared to give you a very generous salary, stock options, access to the company jet Wow, this is amazing.
But, no.
Well, we just found something not to love about Tom Scavo.
What? Carlos is a close friend, and we're just starting our busy season.
I can't leave him in the lurch.
Look, Tom, I don't wanna buy a man out of his loyalty You could try.
It never hurts to put in an offer.
Lynette.
Glenn, you have made my day.
But I've gotta pass.
This conversation isn't over.
And I hope you're gonna talk some sense into this husband of yours.
Talk, beat, whatever gets the job done.
Okay, now is when you wink, rub your hands together, and tell me you were playing that man like a fiddle.
'Cause this blank stare that's not fading, is scaring the hell out of me.
I'm not gonna screw over Carlos.
What's the matter with you? Whatever happened to integrity? Nothing.
It got a better offer from Glenn, and turned into prosperity.
Lynette, as much as I appreciate you trying to run my life, this is my decision.
And I'm saying no! Okay, um, it looks like we have a little time left.
Anyone else wanna share? Elvis? It's not mandatory, but we'd love to hear from you.
Elvis? Oh! Uh No thanks.
I pass.
This is a safe place.
No one here is going to judge you.
Okay.
You know, when I hear you guys talk about how other people try to control your lives, like Ed here, with his boss, or Mary Ann with her cat, you know, I can relate.
You know, I have the same kind of problem with my mother.
You know, I think her greatest regret in life is the fact that she gave birth to a son, and not a puppet.
She's such a control freak that my sister and I used to call her "Attila the Mom.
" Could we not laugh? I mean, we're trying to heal here.
Nothing I ever did was good enough for her.
Like in the tenth grade, I wanted to run for class president.
And the night before I was gonna announce, she said, "Are you sure about this? "You're not exactly a born leader.
" Ouch.
She sounds awful.
Or does she sound like a loving mother trying to protect her son from disappointment? I don't think so, 'cause she wouldn't even listen to my speech.
Well, maybe she was busy preparing dinner for a family of four, with no help from her son.
Yeah, it is hard work making dinner while maintaining an atmosphere of emotional repression.
Well, if you ask me, some emotions could stand to be repressed.
Uh, Bree I'm sorry, but we're here to stop drinking, not criticize the women who gave us life.
He's just trying to share.
Well, there's a difference between sharing and whining! Okay, we are definitely out of time.
Thank you, everybody.
Now, let's just join hands, and recite the Serenity Prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change So, I just wanted to remind you about the party Renee and I are throwing tomorrow night.
You're still having that thing? A woman's on life support.
Exactly.
She's not dead.
It's like you're making my argument for me.
Put Roy and me down for a "no.
" But please, call us when you have your Hurricane Katrina pool party.
So, Renee and I are still having our party Are you nuts? In case you haven't heard, our friend across the street, Betty Young, just blew her brains out.
Beth Young.
Oh.
I got her name wrong.
How disrespectful.
Oh, I hope you don't tell that story tomorrow at your party! It's just a little neighborhood gathering? Gabrielle, what is wrong with you? Oh, boy.
I know we didn't know Beth very well, but we did know Mary Alice.
And this tragic event has brought up a lot of painful memories for all of us.
How could you not realize that? Well, they can all go to hell.
We're still having the party.
Are you listening to me? I got four "Are you out of your minds?" three "You make me wanna puke" and one "Maybe" from Lee.
The message is pretty clear.
Yeah.
Order less shrimp.
No.
Renee, we can't have this party.
We should've canceled the moment we heard about Beth.
Ah.
Nobody even liked her.
It doesn't matter.
It's in horrible taste.
Why can't we just change the date? No! For 10 years I've had my Spring Fling the first Sunday of April.
Not the second Sunday, not the third.
And not when a bunch of wimps decide they're ready to stop moping.
I'm not canceling the party.
But nobody's gonna be here! Oh, well, we'll see about that.
My social life is not gonna come to a stop just because some cuckoo bird decides to clean her ears with a handgun! Wow.
Thank you.
For what? Making me the compassionate one.
Wow.
Is he asleep already? Yeah, he was exhausted.
Not even Harry Potter could keep him awake tonight.
Look, I'm not trying to upset you, and I'm not mad, but I need to know why you won't let me fight to get you the kidney.
I don't know.
It just It just feels wrong.
Well, it shouldn't.
Beth wanted you to have it.
Exactly.
She killed herself so I could have her kidney.
But why? Paul's right.
I never had so much as a pleasant exchange with the woman.
I don't know that the reason matters.
What matters is it was her final wish.
But it doesn't make any sense.
I can't take her kidney knowing that maybe I'm the reason she's lying in that hospital.
Hey, hey, I'm reading.
Oh.
Good evening, sir.
Welcome aboard.
Can I get you anything before we take off? You can help me put my bag under the seat.
Okay.
You're not good at this, so let me do the talking.
May I help you with your seat belt? Oh, look, you're already in the upright and locked position.
What's the name of this airline? I wanna become a frequent flyer.
This isn't a commercial airline, sir.
Hot-shot executives like you only fly on the corporate jet.
Lynette, I'm not taking that job.
Ugh.
Well, then you'll be handling your own bags from now on.
Lynette, we talked about this.
I won't leave Carlos in the lurch.
Okay, great.
You're loyal, I love that.
But your stock went way up today.
If you're gonna stay put, at least could you try to get something out of this? Well, I could tell Carlos about the offer, see if he'll match the number.
Match the number? Oh, look, a seat just opened up.
I wondered if you would come.
They told me at the hospital that you're trying to have Beth declared dead and her life support turned off.
Yes.
Well, that's not going to happen.
-It has to.
-Why? Because she's dead.
No.
She's not.
My daughter's dead.
Your wife is dead.
And we both know what killed her.
If you're trying to blame me for this, if this is your last attempt to use her to hurt me No.
We don't get to use her anymore, Paul.
This sick game you and I play, this hate we hurl at each other has finally found a victim, the only innocent person in the game.
I did nothing.
You refused to believe she loved you.
I turned her away because she did.
And now she's gone.
She Maybe she can recover.
I believe she can.
You must believe it, too, or you wouldn't be in here praying for her.
I'm not praying for her.
I'm praying for forgiveness.
We did this to her, Paul.
Now we have to stop.
And we have to let her rest.
Hi.
Can I come in? Sure.
I'm on my way to a meeting, and I was hoping you might join me.
Look, the deal was one meeting, Mom.
I went, and I'm done.
You won't go back, even for me? Nope.
Elvis has left the building.
Look, I don't need to go, all right? I'm fine.
I hope you know that "I don't have a problem" is one of the biggest clichés in our playbook.
Don't get me wrong, I have plenty of problems.
I have no job, Alex works these crazy 18-hour shifts at the hospital.
What's my day? Long, endless stretches of nothing.
I work out, I do laundry.
I dusted the other day.
Actually dusted, and felt proud.
How pathetic is that? I don't find that pathetic.
I know you don't.
Look, the one thing that gets me through is knowing that when the night rolls around, I can just have a few drinks and kick back.
And as long as I don't hurt anyone, I think I'm allowed.
Mom, trust me.
I'll be okay.
If you say so.
-What? -You listen to me.
There's been a terrible tragedy in our neighborhood.
A woman felt desperate and alone and killed herself because nobody cared enough to help her.
And the thing is, I was there.
I saw that something was wrong.
And I walked away.
And I'm never gonna let myself do that again.
And certainly not with you.
Alex left me.
Oh, honey.
I guess he just got sick of living with a drunk.
What did I do? I've wrecked my marriage.
Look, it's gonna get better.
I promise you it's gonna get better.
But for that to start, you need to go to a meeting.
I can't get up in front of a bunch of strangers and talk about this.
Then we can have a meeting right here.
Just the two of us.
What do you say? Wow.
Well, that's Glenn for you.
He's nothing if not aggressive.
Carlos, I swear I didn't seek this out.
I know you didn't.
And you're a stand-up guy for telling me.
But it is a very generous offer, and I figured if that's my value in the marketplace, then maybe I should be doing a little better here.
Look, our friendship aside, you are a valuable part of this company.
And if I had the cash, you know I'd step up.
But You know how rough things have been.
You've seen the empty desks.
We just can't offer you that kind of money.
But I don't wanna lose you, so here's what I can offer.
Title bump to Chief Marketing Officer, car allowance, and profit participation.
How does that sound? It sounds like a bunch of crap! Lynette Of course he pleaded poverty.
Did you play hardball? Did you grind him? Yes! That's how I got profit participation.
Tom! I worked at that company, remember? At the end of the year, Carlos takes the excess cash as a bonus, so there is no profit to participate in.
What else did he offer you? A bogus new title? Not bogus, Chief Marketing Officer! CMO! And a car allowance! Oh! That's great.
"Here's your allowance, Tommy.
Good luck on your paper route.
" You are over the line, Lynette.
And you are walking away from real money and real power for pretend profits and a made-up title.
Carlos might as well call you "King of All Important Things" and give you a pile of Monopoly money.
Why do you keep pushing like this? 'Cause if I don't, you go nowhere! Wow.
So that's where you think I am? "Nowhere"? Oh, my God, you're not gonna take that back? I think you are an amazing husband and father.
But as a businessman You're 46 years old and you're still trying to establish yourself.
Opportunities like this don't keep falling from the sky, you gotta grab 'em! By stabbing my friend in the back.
Do you think Carlos would hesitate for a second if the roles were reversed? Not a chance! That's how he got where he is, he's ruthless.
You wanna see me get ruthless? Watch what happens if you don't drop this.
Wow.
This is some crowd! Told you.
Well, I'm pretty close to capacity, so you're gonna have to scoot along now.
I'm just stunned so many people came.
Well, it just shows you how little you know about the party-circuit elite.
Wait, is that the guy from Animal Control who picks up dead birds? What? No! These are mostly people I've met through the years in the Caribbean.
Mrs.
Solis, I was going to call you.
Is it okay if I clean your pool on Thursday instead of Wednesday? Of course.
I mean, if you think you'll make it back from St.
Bart's by then.
Don't give me that look.
A good hostess knows the best parties have a mix of people.
Honey, the only mix I see is the cotton-poly blend on every dress in this room.
Excuse me.
Renee.
Renee, look Hey! You two, beat it! You have a cool house.
I don't get it.
Why have a party when the people you really want are too sad to come? Well, I'm not sad.
And I'm not gonna pretend to be.
Renee! I know you didn't like Beth but come on, she's dying.
And whose fault is that? Everyone keeps acting like this horrible thing happened to her.
It didn't just happen.
She did it to herself.
But think about how much pain she must have been in.
Everyone has pain.
But only a selfish bitch checks out and passes it on to everyone else.
Beth didn't care who she hurt.
Her mother, her husband, her daughter.
She didn't have a daughter.
Well, amen for that at least.
Honey, you told me your mom died when you were young.
You never said how.
Uh-huh.
Did she take her own life? What do you think? Damn it! How hard is it to fill an ice bucket? You know, I lost a parent when I was a kid, too.
My dad.
I'm not making comparisons here, and I understand if you don't wanna talk about it.
Good.
'Cause I don't.
But I think that if you do Do what? I'll feel so much better if I let it all out? Well, that doesn't work for me.
I'm not a "hug and learn" kind of gal.
No, I guess you're a "throw a party and forget" kind of gal.
Look, I will never forget what my mother did.
I think about it every day.
But I refuse to let it be what defines me.
This Spring Fling might seem shallow and insensitive to you, but it's my way of saying "I choose life over death.
" Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta get back to my lame-ass party.
Wait It's not a lame-ass party anymore because I'm here now.
Zero to 60 in under five seconds, top speed of 160, and no cup holder, 'cause you'll want both hands on the wheel.
Sweet.
Can I take her for a test drive? Oh, it would be our pleasure.
So, is the car for you? Your husband? Actually, no.
It's for our neighbor.
Hey, sweetie.
Is something wrong? Guess who's got a brand new slap-in-the-face parked in front of his house? What are you talking about? Carlos! The day after he cries poor to me, he goes out and buys himself a $70,000 Lotus? I think the Evora runs around 76, but what do I know.
You were right, Lynette.
I'm a push-over.
I'm being loyal to a guy who does nothing but look out for himself.
Wow.
You must feel really betrayed.
I got half a mind to call Glenn right now and take that offer.
I say, use your whole mind and do it.
Glenn? Tom Scavo.
I am in.
Yes! Yeah, yes, I am excited, too! What, you wanna have lunch tomorrow and hash out the details? I will see you then.
Feels good, huh? Feels real good.
You know what's gonna feel even better? Telling Carlos to go screw himself! No! Wait! Wait.
Don't try and stop me.
I'm gonna tell that guy just where he can stick his Evora.
Okay, but before you do, it's not Carlos'.
I borrowed it from the dealer and I parked it there.
What? I know, I'm sorry.
It sounds very bad, but I did it for a very good reason.
That you can manipulate me into doing whatever you want? Carlos didn't buy that car, but he could have without even feeling it because he's the kind of guy who doesn't let a good opportunity get by him! Meanwhile, you're his dutiful number two, staring down the street at a car you wish you had.
Get in.
We're taking it back.
Then, I'm calling Glenn.
Just one Get in.
Tom, this could be you.
Driving this car, living this life, being that guy.
I understand if you wanna say no to all that.
But I don't even think you've asked yourself, "Do I want it?" It would be better if you didn't talk right now.
Whoa.
I can't tell if we're gonna drive or fly.
What time does this have to be back? He said 4:00, but they don't close till 6:00.
I'm guessing we could be a little late.
Yeah.
Let's be a little late.
Hello, Susan.
Would it be okay if I came in for a moment? Actually, I was Sure.
I've never been to your apartment.
Yeah, well, it's not much.
No, it's quite nice.
I'm on my way to the hospital to see Beth to say goodbye.
I've alerted the transplant office that we'll be moving forward with her request.
I'm sure as soon as I sign the papers, they'll be contacting you.
I don't understand.
You're getting your kidney.
-I thought you said -Susan, I would be very grateful to you if you could forget a lot of the things that I said.
You were right, Paul.
I was terrible to Beth, I was.
I never gave her a chance.
I never tried to get to know her.
Why would she do this for me when I did nothing to deserve it? Beth didn't love people because they deserved it.
Believe me, I know that.
I'm so confused.
I don't know if I can accept.
Please.
Honor Beth's life by allowing her to make you well.
For your son, for your family, for your friends.
Okay.
Thank you.
Paul.
Yes? I am so very, very sorry about your wife.
Yes.
I am, too.
There comes a moment when our lives change forever.
The moment we admit our weaknesses.
The moment we rise to a challenge.
The moment we accept a sacrifice, or let a loved one go.
And sometimes, the change in our lives is an answer to our prayers.
Ms.
Tilman, thought I'd find you here.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, Warden.
I'm sure this is small consolation, but I've just heard from the Parole Board.
They've decided to grant your request for humanitarian release.
Ironic, isn't it? My daughter had to die so I could go free.
Again, my condolences.