Cheers s08e03 Episode Script
A Bar is Born
(Sam) CHEERS IS FILMED BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SO LATE, DR.
CRANE? OH, I HAD TO MAKE A MIDNIGHT RUN.
LILITH'S HAVING ANOTHER ONE OF HER PREGNANCY CRAVINGS.
OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
W-WHAT WAS IT THIS TIME, HUH? OH, JUST BUTTER AND FLOUR.
WHAT, SHE WANTS TO BAKE SOMETHING? NO.
THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS EATING WHEN I LEFT.
BOWLS OF BUTTER AND FISTFULS OF FLOUR.
AND I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE.
BOY, OH, GEE.
PREGNANCY REALLY MAKES WOMEN SCREWY, DOESN'T IT? YEAH, WELL, IT'S AMAZING HOW THEY LET HORMONES TAKE OVER THEIR ENTIRE BODY FOR THAT PERIOD OF TIME.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER MORNING AT 4:00, I HAD TO RUN CLEAR ACROSS TOWN TO THIS PARTICULAR PIZZERIA TO GET LILITH A DEEP-DISH PIZZA, WITH SUN-DRIED TOMATOES, PROSCIUTTO, AND ANCHOVIES.
OH, MY GOD.
HOW FAR DID YOU HAVE TO GO? OH, OUT BY THE AIRPORT.
THAT'S WHAT? AN HOUR'S DRIVE JUST FOR A CRAVING? IT'S INSANE, ISN'T IT? WELL, YOU WERE LUCKY THEY WERE OPEN.
OH, THEY'RE OPEN ALL NIGHT.
ALL NIGHT? OOH, I COULD USE AN ANCHOVY PIZZA.
IT'S A HELL OF A PIE.
SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME MY LIFE IS FABULOUS! KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
OH, DID I SAY SOMETHING? I MUST'VE BEEN THINKING OUT LOUD.
THINKING OUT LOUD ABOUT MY FABULOUS LIFE.
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? WHY EVER DO YOU ASK? WELL, JUST BECAUSE MY RICH NEW SWEETHEART, ROBIN COLCORD, SENT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL, VERY EXPENSIVE GOLD WATCH FROM ZURICH, AND I CAN'T TELL WHAT TIME IT IS.
CAN YOU READ THIS? YEAH, IT SAYS, "THIS COULD FEED MY FAMILY FOR A YEAR.
" CARLA, DON'T BE CHILDISH.
IF ANYBODY NEEDS ME, I'LL BE SKIPPING AROUND IN MY OFFICE.
SAY, UH, WHEN'S YOUR RICH BOYFRIEND COMING BACK? IN ABOUT A WEEK.
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
THAT'LL GIVE YOU TIME TO MAKE UP EXCUSES NOT TO GO TO BED WITH HIM.
[scoffs.]
I WANNA GO TO BED WITH HIM.
I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME.
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE GAVE YOU THE WATCH.
DON'T WORRY, REBECCA.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MAKING A GUY WAIT.
IT PIQUES THEIR INTEREST.
I ONCE MADE A GUY WAIT UNTIL WE WERE BOTH UNDRESSED.
AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED WITH ROBIN? DID SAM TELL YOU THAT? NO.
I'M A WOMAN.
A WOMAN KNOWS.
YOU KNOW, I MUST SAY, I'M WITH CARLA ON THIS ONE.
I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH 2 PEOPLE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE THEY HAVE A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP.
AND HOW DID YOU KNOW? WELL, I'M A PSYCHIATRIST.
A PSYCHIATRIST KNOWS.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, BECKY? YEAH, HIT THE SHEETS ALREADY, KID.
SAM.
POOL PLAYERS KNOW.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TOLD EVERYONE.
NOT HAVING SEX IS A VERY PRIVATE THING BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
YOU DON'T SEE ME GOING AROUND SAYING THAT NORM AND VERA DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT.
HEY, HEY.
OK, BAD EXAMPLE.
THE POINT IS, I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING ABOUT ME.
THERE'S TO BE NO MORE GOSSIP ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE.
SORRY I'M LATE FROM LUNCH.
I MADE THE MISTAKE OF MENTIONING TO MY WAITRESS THAT MY BOSS WAS DATING ROBIN COLCORD.
SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE THEY HAVEN'T SLEPT TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, IT IS AMAZING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MENTION THAT GUY'S NAME.
OH, YEAH? I MEAN, I HAD ALL THESE PEOPLE SWARMING AROUND MY TABLE, ASKING ME ALL KINDS OF QUESTIONS: DO I KNOW HIM VERY WELL? DO I SEE HIM OFTEN? DO I WANT SOUP OR SALAD? YEAH, IT'S TOUGH BEING A CELEBRITY.
YOU KNOW, I USED TO GET THAT ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS PLAYING FOR THE SOX.
IT'S A REAL PAIN.
YEAH, YOU'RE LUCKY, SAM.
EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT YOU A LONG TIME AGO.
LAST TIME I SAW YOUR NAME IN PRINT WAS 2 YEARS AGO IN A CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
"NAME A FORMER RED SOX PLAYER IN 15 LETTERS.
" AND EVEN THEN I HAD A LOT OF SPACES LEFT OVER.
YEAH, WELL, I STILL WOULDN'T TRADE PLACES WITH POOR OLD ROBIN.
"POOR OLD ROBIN" HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THE RICHEST, MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD.
NOT TO MENTION, BEING GENERALLY GORGEOUS.
YEAH, BUT HE HASN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE WITH REBECCA, HAS HE? YOU DIDN'T GET ANYWHERE WITH THAT BABE, EITHER.
I'M NOT ONE OF THE RICHEST MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD.
I'M JUST A LOWLY BARTENDER.
WHAT'S HIS EXCUSE? GOOD POINT, SAMMY.
I--I KNOW WHY SHE'S NOT GOING TO BED WITH THAT GUY.
'CAUSE THERE'S THIS LITTLE VOICE IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD THAT KEEPS SAYING: "WOULDN'T YOU REALLY RATHER DRIVE A SAMMY?" [all laughing.]
THAT POOR CHUMP DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.
YEAH, BUT STILL, SAM, IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE COLCORD'S MONEY, WOULDN'T IT? AH, SO HE'S GOT BUCKS.
I MEAN, WHAT'S HE DO WITH IT? ALL HE DOES IS HUSTLE.
ME? I ENJOY MY LIFE.
I LIVE IT MY WAY ON MY OWN TERMS.
[all agreeing.]
AND WELL YOU SHOULD BE, SAM, YOU KNOW.
YOU MAY NOT BE WEALTHY AND POWERFUL, BUT THOSE WHO REALLY KNOW YOU RESPECT YOU.
(man) THAT'S TRUE, SAM.
AH, YEAH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HOW COULD WE NOT? YOU KNOW, YOU'VE-- YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH ADVERSITIES THAT WOULD'VE CRUSHED OTHER, LESSER MEN.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
OH, NO, REALLY.
WHEN I THINK OF THE SORRY STATE YOUR LIFE'S IN NOW W-WHAT DO YOU, UH ALL RIGHT, YEAH.
MAYBE I'M NOT AS YOUNG AS I USED TO BE, AND MAYBE I DID BLOW MY LIFE SAVINGS, AND MAYBE THIS JOB DOESN'T PAY THAT MUCH, AND MAYBE I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY OR ANY FUTURE TO LOOK FORWARD TO, BUT AT LEAST WHAT, SAM? AT LEAST I'M HAPPY.
(all) THAT'S TRUE.
[all agreeing.]
AND THAT'S WHY WE ADMIRE YOU.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE IN THE BAR HERE WHEN I SAY, THAT IF IT HAD BEEN ANY OF US, WE WOULD'VE BLOWN OUR BRAINS OUT YEARS AGO.
AH, THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU GUYS.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THE-- I THINK THE SECRET'S NOT TO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
THERE YOU GO.
IT'D TAKE A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN THAT TO GET UNDER MY SKIN.
SAM, REMEMBER TO FILL UP ALL THE PRETZEL BOWLS.
OH, THAT DOES IT! I HATE THIS LIFE! I DON'T MIND THAT OTHER STUFF, BUT I CAN'T STAND THE DAMN PRETZELS.
WELL, THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE AROUND HERE, YOU KNOW.
I'M GONNA CHANGE.
I'M GONNA BE SOMEBODY.
WHO CAN I BE? SAM, IF YOU FEEL A NEED FOR A NEW DIRECTION IN LIFE, UH, PERHAPS A CAREER CHANGE WOULD BE IN ORDER.
WELL, FOR EXAMPLE, UH, GETTING ONE.
YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S NOT BAD.
EXCEPT ALL I'VE EVER ENJOYED DOING IS PLAYING BASEBALL AND RUNNING THIS BAR.
I'M TOO OLD TO PLAY BASEBALL, AND I DON'T OWN THIS BAR ANYMORE.
SO THAT'S THAT.
WHY DON'T YOU START ANOTHER BAR? AH, YEAH, WHERE AM I GONNA GET THE MONEY? WELL, I HAVE SOME MONEY I'D LIKE TO INVEST.
I CAN'T TAKE YOUR MONEY, FRASE.
THANK GOODNESS.
I SUDDENLY HAD AN IMAGE OF LILITH COMING AFTER ME WITH A CLEAVER.
SAMMY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A LOAN, HUH? OH, I COULD DO THAT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, ANOTHER BAR'S NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME AS CHEERS.
CHEERS WASN'T CHEERS BEFORE YOU BOUGHT IT, SAMMY.
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER BORING RUN OF THE MILL BEER HALL.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? I WAS HERE EVERY NIGHT.
YOU MADE CHEERS WHAT IT IS, PAL.
[men agreeing.]
(man) IT'S TRUE, SAMMY.
I DID, DIDN'T I? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT.
YEAH, AND I'M STILL SAMMY.
I COULD DO THAT AGAIN.
YEAH.
I AGREE.
ALL RIGHT, MAYBE THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN NEEDING.
YOU KNOW, A WHOLE NEW CHANCE TO START OVER AGAIN.
THIS KIND OF FEELS GOOD.
IT'S AMAZING HOW WHEN YOU GET A FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE, EVERYTHING JUST FALLS INTO PLACE.
KIND OF FEEL LIKE I'M A GUY WITH A DREAM.
AND NOTHING CAN STOP A GUY WITH A DREAM.
SAM, BE SURE AND PUT OUT PLENTY OF PORK RINDS.
SO HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GONNA BE IN SWITZERLAND, ANYWAY? WELL, COULDN'T YOU JUST JET IN FOR THE WEEKEND? I KNOW, I KNOW.
WORLD PEACE.
OK.
BYE-BYE.
OH, I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
CARLA, EDDIE'S GONE ALL THE TIME.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT? WELL, WHEN MY EDDIE'S AWAY WITH THE ICE SHOW, I JUST PICTURE HIM HAVING A GREAT TIME.
YEAH? YOU BET.
CAROUSING, DRINKING WITH THE BOYS, CARRYING ON WITH SOME FLOOZY.
AND I CALL HIM UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND I CURSE AT HIM UNTIL HE BEGS ME TO FORGIVE HIM.
EVEN THOUGH HE PROBABLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG TO BEGIN WITH.
AND THAT HELPS? I DIDN'T SAY IT HELPED.
IT'S JUST WHAT I DO.
BOYS, BOYS.
SINCE IT'S CLOSING TIME ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE, UH, GO DO A LITTLE AFTER-HOURS AT THE FUTURE SITE OF SAM'S PLACE? [exclaims.]
YOU REALLY FOUND A PLACE? WAS THERE EVER ANY DOUBT? OF COURSE, I DID.
IT NEEDS A LITTLE WORK, BUT YOU KNOW, A LITTLE ELBOW GREASE, I THINK IT'LL BE AS GREAT AS CHEERS.
WANNA GO? I'M KINDA BUSHED, SAMMY.
IT'S EITHER THAT OR GO HOME, YOU KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DRIVE.
NO, NO, NO, WE AGREED I'D BE DESIGNATED DRIVER.
NO, NO, NO.
I SAID YOU'D BE DESIGNATED DRIVELER.
WHERE'S EVERYBODY GOING? OH, BOY OH BOY, THIS IS A MOMENT I'VE BEEN DREADING HERE.
NOW, I JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY THIS.
REBECCA, I'M GIVING 2 WEEKS NOTICE.
I'M LEAVING CHEERS TO OPEN UP MY OWN PLACE.
PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
JUST READ THAT NOTE.
"DEAR, REBECCA, IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE.
"WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF UPS AND DOWNS, "BUT I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED YOU MORE THAN A BOSS.
"YOU'RE REALLY A SPECIAL FRIEND.
"LOVE, SAM.
"P.
S.
BE AT MY APARTMENT IN 2 HOURS NAKED AND READY.
" [door opening.]
(Sam) COME ON, EVERYBODY.
COME ON IN HERE.
WATCH YOUR STEP.
WATCH YOUR STEP.
HERE WE GO.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET THERE BE LIGHT.
LET THERE BE DARK.
COME ON, WHAT DO YOU THINK? DON'T YOU THINK THIS PLACE COULD BE AS FUN AS CHEERS? SAM, I DON'T THINK THIS PLACE COULD BE AS FUN AS WORLD WAR II.
ALL RIGHT, I--I-- LISTEN, I KNOW I CAN'T AFFORD TO JUST, UH, BUY A PLACE YOU CAN MOVE RIGHT INTO, BUT, UH, LOOK AT THE POTENTIAL HERE.
COME ON, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
I'M USING MINE, SAM.
ATTA BOY, WOODY.
I'M IMAGINING WHAT'S MAKING THAT LITTLE SCUTTLING SOUND, AND IT'S SCARING ME.
COME ON.
W-WAIT, GUYS.
SAMMY'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, NO PLACE COULD LOOK GOOD BOARDED UP LIKE THIS.
BUT WHAT IF WE WERE TO, UH, SAY PULL OFF SOME OF THESE-- [screams.]
(Cliff) WHAT--WHAT IS IT NOW? OH, NOTHING, I JUST WANNA WASH MY HAND FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
BIG DEAL! WHAT HAS EVERYBODY GOT AGAINST MAGGOTS? SAM, I'VE GOT THE SLOGAN FOR YOUR BAR.
"SAM'S PLACE.
IT'S ALIVE WITH LARVAE.
" I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU BOTHERED TO CHECK WHAT WAS BEHIND THE LARVAE? GO AHEAD.
OH, WOW.
IT'S A LEADED GLASS WINDOW.
YEAH.
BIG OLD NICE ONE, TOO.
YEAH, THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
AND IF LOOK UNDER THIS RATTY OLD LINOLEUM YOU'LL FIND THE, UH, THE ORIGINAL OAK FLOOR.
COME OVER HERE, YOU GUYS, LOOK AT THIS.
HUH? WOW, MARBLE.
THAT'S A BEAUTY, SAM.
YEAH, YOU BET.
ALL THE ORIGINAL BRASS FIXTURES ARE AROUND THE BACK, THERE.
I TELL YOU, AS SOON AS THIS LOAN COMES THROUGH, I'M GOING TO OWN ONE CLASSY BAR.
[laughs.]
ALL RIGHT, AND I GET FIRST PICK OF THE BARSTOOLS.
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
THAT'S THE ONE YOU WANT? YOU BET.
YEAH, I'LL TAKE, UH, I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.
YEAH.
DON'T YOU, UH, WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ME? YOU COULD MOVE DOWN.
BUT THEN I WON'T GET MY FIRST PICK.
I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
YOU'RE A REAL PAL, NORMIE.
(Sam) AH, LOOK AT YOU GUYS.
YOU'RE GETTING THE HANG OF THIS THING.
CAN'T YOU JUST IMAGINE ME AND WOODY BEHIND THE BAR, CARLA WAITING TABLES, YOU TWO SITTING AT YOUR PLACES? ALL RIGHT.
IT'S GONNA BE JUST AS GOOD AS CHEERS.
EH, HUH? IT'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN CHEERS.
(Cliff) YEAH? YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE UP TO THE FRONT DOOR, AND SOMEONE'S GONNA TAKE YOUR CAR.
NO, NO, NO, WE CAN'T AFFORD VALET.
I KNOW, BUT THERE'S A COUPLE OF NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS OUT THERE DOING IT FOR FREE.
MY CAR.
MY CAR! MY CAR! MY CAR! WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT! EVERYBODY, SIT UP STRAIGHT.
ROBIN'S BACK FROM EUROPE.
COME ON.
UP, UP, UP.
ALL RIGHT, HE JUST CALLED FROM HIS CAR PHONE TO ASK IF HE COULD POP BY FOR A MINUTE.
"POP.
" ISN'T ROBIN ADORABLE? WELL, HE DOES HAVE HAUNTING EYES.
WELL, HE DOES, DOESN'T HE? I THINK THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT MR.
COLCORD IS GONNA FIND AN ENTIRELY NEW WOMAN FROM THE ONE HE SAW 2 WEEKS AGO.
A HUNGRY WOMAN.
A CONFIDENT WOMAN.
A WOMAN WHO'S WILLING TO GIVE TO HER MAN WITH TOTAL ABANDON.
I THINK I SEE HIM COMING.
I'M NOT READY YET.
JEEZ.
WOMEN.
YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, PASS THE BEER NUTS.
IS MISS HOWE IN? OH, YEAH, SHE'S IN HER OFFICE.
AH, MR.
COLCORD? EXCUSE ME.
UM, YOU JUST GOT BACK FROM SWITZERLAND, RIGHT? YES.
NOW, UH, DO YOU-- DO YOU GO OVER THERE AND TALK WITH THOSE SWISS PEOPLE VERY OFTEN? EVERY FEW MONTHS.
UM, LISTEN, YOU THINK IF I GAVE YOU SOME MONEY, YOU COULD MAYBE PICK UP ONE OF THOSE ARMY KNIVES FOR ME? THERE MAY BE, UM, CUSTOMS RESTRICTIONS.
OH, THEN FORGET IT.
I'LL JUST GO TO THE DRUGSTORE.
YEAH.
BOY, UH, YOU GOT TO GO FIGURE, A RICH GUY LIKE THAT.
WHY IS HE PUTTING UP WITH REBECCA IF SHE'S NOT, YOU KNOW, PUTTING OUT FOR HIM? MAYBE ALL OF THE EQUIPMENT'S NOT IN WORKING ORDER.
THERE YOU GO.
OH.
OR MAYBE HE'S GOT SO MANY OTHER BABES ON THE SIDE HE JUST DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR HER, HUH? YEAH.
NOW, THAT'S GOOD.
OR MAYBE HE'S A GENTLEMAN.
WOODY, WHO THE HELL BROUGHT YOU UP? HEY, BOYS.
YOU'RE LOOKING AT A SCALE MODEL OF SAM'S PLACE.
YOU'RE STILL GOING THROUGH WITH THAT THING, SAM? OH, YEAH, YEAH.
THE LOAN CAME THROUGH TODAY.
THIS THING'S HAPPENING.
WHAT, EVEN AFTER MR.
CLAVIN'S CAR GOT STOLEN, STRIPPED, AND LEFT ACROSS TOWN? [muttering.]
THAT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, ONE LITTLE INCIDENT.
A FRIEND OF MINE DOWN AT CITY HALL SAYS IT SERVES ME RIGHT FOR PARKING MY CAR IN THE WORST CRIME SECTOR IN BOSTON.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU WERE THERE.
YOU SAW IT.
NO.
THAT YOU HAVE A FRIEND.
COME ON, GUYS.
WELL, HEY, DOESN'T THIS LOOK GREAT? LOVELY.
OH, THAT MAY BE, SAM, BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN OLD REAL ESTATE MAXIM THAT SAYS THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LOOKING FOR A PROPERTY ARE: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.
THAT'S JUST ONE THING.
THAT'S THE POINT, WOODY.
WHAT, THAT REAL ESTATE PEOPLE ARE STUPID? NO, THAT LOCATION IS THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN REAL ESTATE.
THEN WHY DO THEY SAY IT'S 3 THINGS? BECAUSE REAL ESTATE PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
AH-HA.
WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU GUYS? YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BARS.
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAMN BAR IN BOSTON.
AH, WHAT'S THAT? OH, MR.
COLCORD.
N-NOTHING.
I WAS JUST, UH, JUST TALKING, THAT'S ALL.
NO, YOU SEEMED, UH, PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING JUST NOW.
[Rebecca scoffs.]
SAM WANTS TO REOPEN SOME STUPID, DISGUSTING, RUN-DOWN PLACE ON THE WATERFRONT.
SMALL WORLD.
I OWN SOME PROPERTY DOWN THERE.
PERHAPS WE'LL BE NEIGHBORS.
REALLY? YOU THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD PLACE TO OPEN A BUSINESS? WELL, I'D LIKE TO HEAR YOUR PLANS.
WELL, GREAT.
YEAH, GREAT.
WHY DON'T WE, UH, JUST CAN WE USE THE OFFICE? NO.
IT'LL ONLY BE FOR A MOMENT.
WHAT, DID I SAY "NO"? I MEANT TO SAY "YES.
" I MEAN, I VERY RARELY EVER SAY "NO.
" LIKE TONIGHT, I'LL BE SAYING "YES.
" YES, YES, YES! I THINK THIS GIVES YOU A PRETTY GOOD IDEA OF WHAT THE PLACE WILL LOOK LIKE.
EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, BIGGER.
SO, WHAT YOU'RE FINALLY SAYING IS, YOU'RE GONNA REOPEN THE SAME BUSINESS IN THE SAME LOCATION WHERE IT WENT BELLY-UP JUST LAST YEAR.
NO, NO, NO.
SEE, THIS IS NEW.
THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
NOW IT'S SAM'S PLACE.
WHAT WAS IT BEFORE? TIM'S PLACE.
SAM, DO YOU WANT MY, UM, HONEST OPINION? OH, YEAH, YOU BET.
THIS COULD WORK.
YES! BY WORK I MEAN, IF YOU POUR EVERY DIME YOU'VE GOT INTO THE PLACE, STRUGGLE, SCRIMP, AND SAVE, AND SOMEHOW HANG ON THROUGH THE LEAN YEARS YOU MIGHT BEGIN TO SHOW A TINY PROFIT.
AFTER THAT, LIVING MONTH BY MONTH, YEAR AFTER YEAR, PRAYING THERE'S NO RECESSION, YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY SCRAPE A LIVING, A DISMAL, ALTRUIST LIVING OUT OF IT.
OK.
OK.
SO, UM, WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE? SAM, DON'T SHORTCHANGE YOURSELF.
DO YOU WANT JUST ANY BAR OR DO YOU WANT THE BEST BAR? LOOK HERE.
I'VE ALWAYS FOUND THAT THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IS HAVING A DREAM AND THEN HAVING THE COURAGE TO RUN AFTER IT.
REACH FOR THE STARS, SAM.
ASTONISH ME.
ASTONISH YOURSELF.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, I GET THIS.
I GET-- ALL RIGHT.
Y-YOU'RE SAYING THAT I, UH-- I SHOULDN'T SETTLE FOR THIS CRUMMY LITTLE PLACE.
EXACTLY.
YEAH.
YEAH, I SHOULD, UH, BUY THE WHOLE BLOCK.
KEEP TALKING.
RIGHT, AND I COULD, UH, I COULD TEAR IT ALL DOWN AND-- AND--AND BUILD A HIGH RISE WITH A GREAT RIVER VIEW.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
AND APARTMENTS AND CONDOS, AND 24-HOUR DONUT SHOPS.
AND--AND--AND A REAL BIG TALL BUILDING WITH SAM'S PLACE ON THE TOP.
AND IT'LL BE THE BEST DAMN BAR ON THE EAST COAST.
BEAUTIFUL, SAM.
CAN YOU DO IT? YES, I CAN.
NO, YOU CAN'T.
NO, I CAN'T.
NO, YOU CAN'T.
COME DOWN TO EARTH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
SAM, W-W-WHAT YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF IS: "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?" WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I, UH WHAT I REALLY WELL, I OUGTTA TELL YOU WHAT I WANT.
I WANT MY--MY BEAT-UP OLD DESK BACK.
I WANT MY SPORTS STUFF BACK ON THE WALLS.
I WANT TO GET RID OF THOSE CREEPY PLANTS OUT THERE AND THAT STUPID WORLD MAP OF WHEREVER THE HELL IT IS.
I WANT CHEERS.
THEN DO IT.
OH, GOD.
I MEAN, I--I'D LOVE TO GET CHEERS BACK.
BUT I--I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN GET OUT OF THIS--THIS CRUMMY LITTLE DEAL HERE.
SEE, I'D BE HAPPY TO MAKE SOME PHONE CALLS FOR YOU.
I KNOW QUITE A FEW PEOPLE AROUND TOWN.
THAT'S MY, UH, PRIVATE NUMBER.
[exclaims.]
WELL, GOD, THIS IS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
UH, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EVER REPAY YOU HERE.
LET'S JUST SAY, YOU OWE ME A FAVOR.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, ONE FAVOR.
ANYTIME.
YEAH.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
HEY, GUYS! HEY, LISTEN TO THIS! I'M NOT GOING TO BUY THAT STUPID CRUMMY BAR.
[all cheering half-heartedly.]
I'M GONNA BUY THIS STUPID CRUMMY BAR.
[all cheering wildly.]
HEY, REBECCA, CAN I WORK THE NEXT SHIFT? I NEED THE OVERTIME.
SAM, LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO HERE.
BUT FORGET IT.
IT'S GONNA TAKE YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO SAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY CHEERS.
HEY, IF SAM SAYS HE CAN DO IT, HE CAN DO IT.
WE HAVE FAITH IN YOU, SAM.
CHEERS IS GONNA BE YOURS.
I JUST HOPE I'M STILL ALIVE TO SEE IT.
IS REBECCA IN? YEAH.
SHE'S, UH, SHE'S IN HER OFFICE.
OH.
I'LL HAVE A BRANDY.
SAY, UH, MR.
COLCORD, I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR, UH, GETTING ME OUT OF THAT OTHER DEAL SO FAST.
WELL, UH, LET'S SAY YOU OWE ME ONE, EH? YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
ACTUALLY, I HAD A THOUGHT ABOUT THAT OTHER IDEA WE HAD.
AND I DECIDED THAT MIGHT BE FUN, TOO.
WHAT IDEA WAS THAT? WELL, YOU REMEMBER, THE HIGH RISE WITH THE RIVER VIEW.
IT TURNS OUT IT'S ADJACENT TO THE PROPERTY THAT I'M DEVELOPING, SO I DECIDED TO BUY THE WHOLE BLOCK AND GIVE IT A GO.
BUT YOU--YOU SAID THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.
NO, I SAID IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU.
FOR ME IT WAS 2 PHONE CALLS AND A HANDSHAKE.
[chuckles.]
BUT THAT WAS-- THAT WAS MY IDEA.
WAS IT? SO HARD TO RECALL.
THE IDEAS WERE FLYING SO FAST AND FURIOUS IN THERE, WEREN'T THEY? WAIT--WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW, IF I'D BOUGHT THAT--THAT PROPERTY, COULDN'T I HAVE SOLD IT TO YOU FOR A PROFIT? BUT YOU WOULDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A FRIEND, WOULD YOU? YOU--YOU TALKED ME OUT OF THAT PLACE JUST SO YOU COULD GET IT YOURSELF.
NO, I--I DIDN'T TALK YOU OUT OF ANYTHING.
I TALKED YOU INTO FOLLOWING YOUR HEART.
YOU'RE A MAN WITH A DREAM, SAM.
I ENVY YOU.
BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I'M WILLING TO COME TO AN ARRANGEMENT.
OH, YEAH? YES, UH, LET'S SEE.
YES.
YOU NO LONGER OWE ME A FAVOR.
OH, UH, ROBIN.
I'M ALL SET.
LET ME JUST GET MY PURSE.
DARLING, YOU LOOK LOVELY.
I'LL GET MILES TO BRING THE CAR AROUND.
AND, UM, OH, THAT'S FOR THE DRINK.
SO, REBECCA, TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT, HUH? [giggles.]
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I CAN FEEL IT.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I KNOW THAT I'M GONNA CHICKEN OUT AGAIN.
OH, ROBIN'S GONNA BE SO DISAPPOINTED.
NO.
NO, HE WON'T.
HE'S ALREADY DONE IT TO ME TODAY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SO LATE, DR.
CRANE? OH, I HAD TO MAKE A MIDNIGHT RUN.
LILITH'S HAVING ANOTHER ONE OF HER PREGNANCY CRAVINGS.
OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
W-WHAT WAS IT THIS TIME, HUH? OH, JUST BUTTER AND FLOUR.
WHAT, SHE WANTS TO BAKE SOMETHING? NO.
THAT'S WHAT SHE WAS EATING WHEN I LEFT.
BOWLS OF BUTTER AND FISTFULS OF FLOUR.
AND I HAD TO GET OUT OF THERE.
BOY, OH, GEE.
PREGNANCY REALLY MAKES WOMEN SCREWY, DOESN'T IT? YEAH, WELL, IT'S AMAZING HOW THEY LET HORMONES TAKE OVER THEIR ENTIRE BODY FOR THAT PERIOD OF TIME.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER MORNING AT 4:00, I HAD TO RUN CLEAR ACROSS TOWN TO THIS PARTICULAR PIZZERIA TO GET LILITH A DEEP-DISH PIZZA, WITH SUN-DRIED TOMATOES, PROSCIUTTO, AND ANCHOVIES.
OH, MY GOD.
HOW FAR DID YOU HAVE TO GO? OH, OUT BY THE AIRPORT.
THAT'S WHAT? AN HOUR'S DRIVE JUST FOR A CRAVING? IT'S INSANE, ISN'T IT? WELL, YOU WERE LUCKY THEY WERE OPEN.
OH, THEY'RE OPEN ALL NIGHT.
ALL NIGHT? OOH, I COULD USE AN ANCHOVY PIZZA.
IT'S A HELL OF A PIE.
SOMETIMES YOU WANT TO GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME AND THEY'RE ALWAYS GLAD YOU CAME YOU WANNA BE WHERE YOU CAN SEE OUR TROUBLES ARE ALL THE SAME YOU WANNA GO WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME MY LIFE IS FABULOUS! KEEP IT TO YOURSELF.
OH, DID I SAY SOMETHING? I MUST'VE BEEN THINKING OUT LOUD.
THINKING OUT LOUD ABOUT MY FABULOUS LIFE.
DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? WHY EVER DO YOU ASK? WELL, JUST BECAUSE MY RICH NEW SWEETHEART, ROBIN COLCORD, SENT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL, VERY EXPENSIVE GOLD WATCH FROM ZURICH, AND I CAN'T TELL WHAT TIME IT IS.
CAN YOU READ THIS? YEAH, IT SAYS, "THIS COULD FEED MY FAMILY FOR A YEAR.
" CARLA, DON'T BE CHILDISH.
IF ANYBODY NEEDS ME, I'LL BE SKIPPING AROUND IN MY OFFICE.
SAY, UH, WHEN'S YOUR RICH BOYFRIEND COMING BACK? IN ABOUT A WEEK.
OH, GOOD, GOOD.
THAT'LL GIVE YOU TIME TO MAKE UP EXCUSES NOT TO GO TO BED WITH HIM.
[scoffs.]
I WANNA GO TO BED WITH HIM.
I'M JUST WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME.
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S WHY HE GAVE YOU THE WATCH.
DON'T WORRY, REBECCA.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MAKING A GUY WAIT.
IT PIQUES THEIR INTEREST.
I ONCE MADE A GUY WAIT UNTIL WE WERE BOTH UNDRESSED.
AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN TO BED WITH ROBIN? DID SAM TELL YOU THAT? NO.
I'M A WOMAN.
A WOMAN KNOWS.
YOU KNOW, I MUST SAY, I'M WITH CARLA ON THIS ONE.
I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH 2 PEOPLE GETTING TO KNOW EACH OTHER BEFORE THEY HAVE A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP.
AND HOW DID YOU KNOW? WELL, I'M A PSYCHIATRIST.
A PSYCHIATRIST KNOWS.
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, BECKY? YEAH, HIT THE SHEETS ALREADY, KID.
SAM.
POOL PLAYERS KNOW.
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU TOLD EVERYONE.
NOT HAVING SEX IS A VERY PRIVATE THING BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN.
YOU DON'T SEE ME GOING AROUND SAYING THAT NORM AND VERA DIDN'T HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT.
HEY, HEY.
OK, BAD EXAMPLE.
THE POINT IS, I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING ABOUT ME.
THERE'S TO BE NO MORE GOSSIP ABOUT MY PRIVATE LIFE.
SORRY I'M LATE FROM LUNCH.
I MADE THE MISTAKE OF MENTIONING TO MY WAITRESS THAT MY BOSS WAS DATING ROBIN COLCORD.
SHE WANTED TO KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE THEY HAVEN'T SLEPT TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW, IT IS AMAZING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MENTION THAT GUY'S NAME.
OH, YEAH? I MEAN, I HAD ALL THESE PEOPLE SWARMING AROUND MY TABLE, ASKING ME ALL KINDS OF QUESTIONS: DO I KNOW HIM VERY WELL? DO I SEE HIM OFTEN? DO I WANT SOUP OR SALAD? YEAH, IT'S TOUGH BEING A CELEBRITY.
YOU KNOW, I USED TO GET THAT ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS PLAYING FOR THE SOX.
IT'S A REAL PAIN.
YEAH, YOU'RE LUCKY, SAM.
EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT YOU A LONG TIME AGO.
LAST TIME I SAW YOUR NAME IN PRINT WAS 2 YEARS AGO IN A CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
"NAME A FORMER RED SOX PLAYER IN 15 LETTERS.
" AND EVEN THEN I HAD A LOT OF SPACES LEFT OVER.
YEAH, WELL, I STILL WOULDN'T TRADE PLACES WITH POOR OLD ROBIN.
"POOR OLD ROBIN" HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THE RICHEST, MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD.
NOT TO MENTION, BEING GENERALLY GORGEOUS.
YEAH, BUT HE HASN'T GOTTEN ANYWHERE WITH REBECCA, HAS HE? YOU DIDN'T GET ANYWHERE WITH THAT BABE, EITHER.
I'M NOT ONE OF THE RICHEST MOST POWERFUL MEN IN THE WORLD.
I'M JUST A LOWLY BARTENDER.
WHAT'S HIS EXCUSE? GOOD POINT, SAMMY.
I--I KNOW WHY SHE'S NOT GOING TO BED WITH THAT GUY.
'CAUSE THERE'S THIS LITTLE VOICE IN THE BACK OF HER HEAD THAT KEEPS SAYING: "WOULDN'T YOU REALLY RATHER DRIVE A SAMMY?" [all laughing.]
THAT POOR CHUMP DOESN'T STAND A CHANCE.
YEAH, BUT STILL, SAM, IT WOULD BE NICE TO HAVE COLCORD'S MONEY, WOULDN'T IT? AH, SO HE'S GOT BUCKS.
I MEAN, WHAT'S HE DO WITH IT? ALL HE DOES IS HUSTLE.
ME? I ENJOY MY LIFE.
I LIVE IT MY WAY ON MY OWN TERMS.
[all agreeing.]
AND WELL YOU SHOULD BE, SAM, YOU KNOW.
YOU MAY NOT BE WEALTHY AND POWERFUL, BUT THOSE WHO REALLY KNOW YOU RESPECT YOU.
(man) THAT'S TRUE, SAM.
AH, YEAH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
HOW COULD WE NOT? YOU KNOW, YOU'VE-- YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH ADVERSITIES THAT WOULD'VE CRUSHED OTHER, LESSER MEN.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
OH, NO, REALLY.
WHEN I THINK OF THE SORRY STATE YOUR LIFE'S IN NOW W-WHAT DO YOU, UH ALL RIGHT, YEAH.
MAYBE I'M NOT AS YOUNG AS I USED TO BE, AND MAYBE I DID BLOW MY LIFE SAVINGS, AND MAYBE THIS JOB DOESN'T PAY THAT MUCH, AND MAYBE I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY OR ANY FUTURE TO LOOK FORWARD TO, BUT AT LEAST WHAT, SAM? AT LEAST I'M HAPPY.
(all) THAT'S TRUE.
[all agreeing.]
AND THAT'S WHY WE ADMIRE YOU.
YOU KNOW, I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE IN THE BAR HERE WHEN I SAY, THAT IF IT HAD BEEN ANY OF US, WE WOULD'VE BLOWN OUR BRAINS OUT YEARS AGO.
AH, THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU GUYS.
YOU KNOW, I THINK THE-- I THINK THE SECRET'S NOT TO SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF.
THERE YOU GO.
IT'D TAKE A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN THAT TO GET UNDER MY SKIN.
SAM, REMEMBER TO FILL UP ALL THE PRETZEL BOWLS.
OH, THAT DOES IT! I HATE THIS LIFE! I DON'T MIND THAT OTHER STUFF, BUT I CAN'T STAND THE DAMN PRETZELS.
WELL, THINGS ARE GOING TO CHANGE AROUND HERE, YOU KNOW.
I'M GONNA CHANGE.
I'M GONNA BE SOMEBODY.
WHO CAN I BE? SAM, IF YOU FEEL A NEED FOR A NEW DIRECTION IN LIFE, UH, PERHAPS A CAREER CHANGE WOULD BE IN ORDER.
WELL, FOR EXAMPLE, UH, GETTING ONE.
YEAH.
YEAH, THAT'S NOT BAD.
EXCEPT ALL I'VE EVER ENJOYED DOING IS PLAYING BASEBALL AND RUNNING THIS BAR.
I'M TOO OLD TO PLAY BASEBALL, AND I DON'T OWN THIS BAR ANYMORE.
SO THAT'S THAT.
WHY DON'T YOU START ANOTHER BAR? AH, YEAH, WHERE AM I GONNA GET THE MONEY? WELL, I HAVE SOME MONEY I'D LIKE TO INVEST.
I CAN'T TAKE YOUR MONEY, FRASE.
THANK GOODNESS.
I SUDDENLY HAD AN IMAGE OF LILITH COMING AFTER ME WITH A CLEAVER.
SAMMY, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET A LOAN, HUH? OH, I COULD DO THAT.
BUT, YOU KNOW, ANOTHER BAR'S NOT GOING TO BE THE SAME AS CHEERS.
CHEERS WASN'T CHEERS BEFORE YOU BOUGHT IT, SAMMY.
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER BORING RUN OF THE MILL BEER HALL.
HOW DO YOU KNOW? I WAS HERE EVERY NIGHT.
YOU MADE CHEERS WHAT IT IS, PAL.
[men agreeing.]
(man) IT'S TRUE, SAMMY.
I DID, DIDN'T I? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT.
YEAH, AND I'M STILL SAMMY.
I COULD DO THAT AGAIN.
YEAH.
I AGREE.
ALL RIGHT, MAYBE THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN NEEDING.
YOU KNOW, A WHOLE NEW CHANCE TO START OVER AGAIN.
THIS KIND OF FEELS GOOD.
IT'S AMAZING HOW WHEN YOU GET A FOCUS ON YOUR LIFE, EVERYTHING JUST FALLS INTO PLACE.
KIND OF FEEL LIKE I'M A GUY WITH A DREAM.
AND NOTHING CAN STOP A GUY WITH A DREAM.
SAM, BE SURE AND PUT OUT PLENTY OF PORK RINDS.
SO HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GONNA BE IN SWITZERLAND, ANYWAY? WELL, COULDN'T YOU JUST JET IN FOR THE WEEKEND? I KNOW, I KNOW.
WORLD PEACE.
OK.
BYE-BYE.
OH, I MISS HIM SO MUCH.
CARLA, EDDIE'S GONE ALL THE TIME.
HOW DO YOU HANDLE IT? WELL, WHEN MY EDDIE'S AWAY WITH THE ICE SHOW, I JUST PICTURE HIM HAVING A GREAT TIME.
YEAH? YOU BET.
CAROUSING, DRINKING WITH THE BOYS, CARRYING ON WITH SOME FLOOZY.
AND I CALL HIM UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND I CURSE AT HIM UNTIL HE BEGS ME TO FORGIVE HIM.
EVEN THOUGH HE PROBABLY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG TO BEGIN WITH.
AND THAT HELPS? I DIDN'T SAY IT HELPED.
IT'S JUST WHAT I DO.
BOYS, BOYS.
SINCE IT'S CLOSING TIME ANYWAY, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE, UH, GO DO A LITTLE AFTER-HOURS AT THE FUTURE SITE OF SAM'S PLACE? [exclaims.]
YOU REALLY FOUND A PLACE? WAS THERE EVER ANY DOUBT? OF COURSE, I DID.
IT NEEDS A LITTLE WORK, BUT YOU KNOW, A LITTLE ELBOW GREASE, I THINK IT'LL BE AS GREAT AS CHEERS.
WANNA GO? I'M KINDA BUSHED, SAMMY.
IT'S EITHER THAT OR GO HOME, YOU KNOW.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL DRIVE.
NO, NO, NO, WE AGREED I'D BE DESIGNATED DRIVER.
NO, NO, NO.
I SAID YOU'D BE DESIGNATED DRIVELER.
WHERE'S EVERYBODY GOING? OH, BOY OH BOY, THIS IS A MOMENT I'VE BEEN DREADING HERE.
NOW, I JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY THIS.
REBECCA, I'M GIVING 2 WEEKS NOTICE.
I'M LEAVING CHEERS TO OPEN UP MY OWN PLACE.
PLEASE DON'T SAY ANYTHING.
JUST READ THAT NOTE.
"DEAR, REBECCA, IT'S SO HARD TO SAY GOODBYE.
"WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT OF UPS AND DOWNS, "BUT I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED YOU MORE THAN A BOSS.
"YOU'RE REALLY A SPECIAL FRIEND.
"LOVE, SAM.
"P.
S.
BE AT MY APARTMENT IN 2 HOURS NAKED AND READY.
" [door opening.]
(Sam) COME ON, EVERYBODY.
COME ON IN HERE.
WATCH YOUR STEP.
WATCH YOUR STEP.
HERE WE GO.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LET THERE BE LIGHT.
LET THERE BE DARK.
COME ON, WHAT DO YOU THINK? DON'T YOU THINK THIS PLACE COULD BE AS FUN AS CHEERS? SAM, I DON'T THINK THIS PLACE COULD BE AS FUN AS WORLD WAR II.
ALL RIGHT, I--I-- LISTEN, I KNOW I CAN'T AFFORD TO JUST, UH, BUY A PLACE YOU CAN MOVE RIGHT INTO, BUT, UH, LOOK AT THE POTENTIAL HERE.
COME ON, USE YOUR IMAGINATION.
I'M USING MINE, SAM.
ATTA BOY, WOODY.
I'M IMAGINING WHAT'S MAKING THAT LITTLE SCUTTLING SOUND, AND IT'S SCARING ME.
COME ON.
W-WAIT, GUYS.
SAMMY'S RIGHT.
I MEAN, NO PLACE COULD LOOK GOOD BOARDED UP LIKE THIS.
BUT WHAT IF WE WERE TO, UH, SAY PULL OFF SOME OF THESE-- [screams.]
(Cliff) WHAT--WHAT IS IT NOW? OH, NOTHING, I JUST WANNA WASH MY HAND FOR ABOUT 20 MINUTES.
BIG DEAL! WHAT HAS EVERYBODY GOT AGAINST MAGGOTS? SAM, I'VE GOT THE SLOGAN FOR YOUR BAR.
"SAM'S PLACE.
IT'S ALIVE WITH LARVAE.
" I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU BOTHERED TO CHECK WHAT WAS BEHIND THE LARVAE? GO AHEAD.
OH, WOW.
IT'S A LEADED GLASS WINDOW.
YEAH.
BIG OLD NICE ONE, TOO.
YEAH, THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THAT ANYMORE.
AND IF LOOK UNDER THIS RATTY OLD LINOLEUM YOU'LL FIND THE, UH, THE ORIGINAL OAK FLOOR.
COME OVER HERE, YOU GUYS, LOOK AT THIS.
HUH? WOW, MARBLE.
THAT'S A BEAUTY, SAM.
YEAH, YOU BET.
ALL THE ORIGINAL BRASS FIXTURES ARE AROUND THE BACK, THERE.
I TELL YOU, AS SOON AS THIS LOAN COMES THROUGH, I'M GOING TO OWN ONE CLASSY BAR.
[laughs.]
ALL RIGHT, AND I GET FIRST PICK OF THE BARSTOOLS.
THIS ONE RIGHT HERE.
THAT'S THE ONE YOU WANT? YOU BET.
YEAH, I'LL TAKE, UH, I'LL TAKE THIS ONE.
YEAH.
DON'T YOU, UH, WANT TO SIT NEXT TO ME? YOU COULD MOVE DOWN.
BUT THEN I WON'T GET MY FIRST PICK.
I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
YOU'RE A REAL PAL, NORMIE.
(Sam) AH, LOOK AT YOU GUYS.
YOU'RE GETTING THE HANG OF THIS THING.
CAN'T YOU JUST IMAGINE ME AND WOODY BEHIND THE BAR, CARLA WAITING TABLES, YOU TWO SITTING AT YOUR PLACES? ALL RIGHT.
IT'S GONNA BE JUST AS GOOD AS CHEERS.
EH, HUH? IT'S GONNA BE BETTER THAN CHEERS.
(Cliff) YEAH? YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE UP TO THE FRONT DOOR, AND SOMEONE'S GONNA TAKE YOUR CAR.
NO, NO, NO, WE CAN'T AFFORD VALET.
I KNOW, BUT THERE'S A COUPLE OF NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS OUT THERE DOING IT FOR FREE.
MY CAR.
MY CAR! MY CAR! MY CAR! WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT! EVERYBODY, SIT UP STRAIGHT.
ROBIN'S BACK FROM EUROPE.
COME ON.
UP, UP, UP.
ALL RIGHT, HE JUST CALLED FROM HIS CAR PHONE TO ASK IF HE COULD POP BY FOR A MINUTE.
"POP.
" ISN'T ROBIN ADORABLE? WELL, HE DOES HAVE HAUNTING EYES.
WELL, HE DOES, DOESN'T HE? I THINK THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT MR.
COLCORD IS GONNA FIND AN ENTIRELY NEW WOMAN FROM THE ONE HE SAW 2 WEEKS AGO.
A HUNGRY WOMAN.
A CONFIDENT WOMAN.
A WOMAN WHO'S WILLING TO GIVE TO HER MAN WITH TOTAL ABANDON.
I THINK I SEE HIM COMING.
I'M NOT READY YET.
JEEZ.
WOMEN.
YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH THEM, PASS THE BEER NUTS.
IS MISS HOWE IN? OH, YEAH, SHE'S IN HER OFFICE.
AH, MR.
COLCORD? EXCUSE ME.
UM, YOU JUST GOT BACK FROM SWITZERLAND, RIGHT? YES.
NOW, UH, DO YOU-- DO YOU GO OVER THERE AND TALK WITH THOSE SWISS PEOPLE VERY OFTEN? EVERY FEW MONTHS.
UM, LISTEN, YOU THINK IF I GAVE YOU SOME MONEY, YOU COULD MAYBE PICK UP ONE OF THOSE ARMY KNIVES FOR ME? THERE MAY BE, UM, CUSTOMS RESTRICTIONS.
OH, THEN FORGET IT.
I'LL JUST GO TO THE DRUGSTORE.
YEAH.
BOY, UH, YOU GOT TO GO FIGURE, A RICH GUY LIKE THAT.
WHY IS HE PUTTING UP WITH REBECCA IF SHE'S NOT, YOU KNOW, PUTTING OUT FOR HIM? MAYBE ALL OF THE EQUIPMENT'S NOT IN WORKING ORDER.
THERE YOU GO.
OH.
OR MAYBE HE'S GOT SO MANY OTHER BABES ON THE SIDE HE JUST DOESN'T HAVE TIME FOR HER, HUH? YEAH.
NOW, THAT'S GOOD.
OR MAYBE HE'S A GENTLEMAN.
WOODY, WHO THE HELL BROUGHT YOU UP? HEY, BOYS.
YOU'RE LOOKING AT A SCALE MODEL OF SAM'S PLACE.
YOU'RE STILL GOING THROUGH WITH THAT THING, SAM? OH, YEAH, YEAH.
THE LOAN CAME THROUGH TODAY.
THIS THING'S HAPPENING.
WHAT, EVEN AFTER MR.
CLAVIN'S CAR GOT STOLEN, STRIPPED, AND LEFT ACROSS TOWN? [muttering.]
THAT WAS JUST, YOU KNOW, ONE LITTLE INCIDENT.
A FRIEND OF MINE DOWN AT CITY HALL SAYS IT SERVES ME RIGHT FOR PARKING MY CAR IN THE WORST CRIME SECTOR IN BOSTON.
I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
YOU WERE THERE.
YOU SAW IT.
NO.
THAT YOU HAVE A FRIEND.
COME ON, GUYS.
WELL, HEY, DOESN'T THIS LOOK GREAT? LOVELY.
OH, THAT MAY BE, SAM, BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE'S AN OLD REAL ESTATE MAXIM THAT SAYS THE 3 MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN LOOKING FOR A PROPERTY ARE: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION.
THAT'S JUST ONE THING.
THAT'S THE POINT, WOODY.
WHAT, THAT REAL ESTATE PEOPLE ARE STUPID? NO, THAT LOCATION IS THE ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN REAL ESTATE.
THEN WHY DO THEY SAY IT'S 3 THINGS? BECAUSE REAL ESTATE PEOPLE ARE STUPID.
AH-HA.
WHY AM I TALKING TO YOU GUYS? YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BARS.
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST DAMN BAR IN BOSTON.
AH, WHAT'S THAT? OH, MR.
COLCORD.
N-NOTHING.
I WAS JUST, UH, JUST TALKING, THAT'S ALL.
NO, YOU SEEMED, UH, PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT SOMETHING JUST NOW.
[Rebecca scoffs.]
SAM WANTS TO REOPEN SOME STUPID, DISGUSTING, RUN-DOWN PLACE ON THE WATERFRONT.
SMALL WORLD.
I OWN SOME PROPERTY DOWN THERE.
PERHAPS WE'LL BE NEIGHBORS.
REALLY? YOU THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD PLACE TO OPEN A BUSINESS? WELL, I'D LIKE TO HEAR YOUR PLANS.
WELL, GREAT.
YEAH, GREAT.
WHY DON'T WE, UH, JUST CAN WE USE THE OFFICE? NO.
IT'LL ONLY BE FOR A MOMENT.
WHAT, DID I SAY "NO"? I MEANT TO SAY "YES.
" I MEAN, I VERY RARELY EVER SAY "NO.
" LIKE TONIGHT, I'LL BE SAYING "YES.
" YES, YES, YES! I THINK THIS GIVES YOU A PRETTY GOOD IDEA OF WHAT THE PLACE WILL LOOK LIKE.
EXCEPT, YOU KNOW, BIGGER.
SO, WHAT YOU'RE FINALLY SAYING IS, YOU'RE GONNA REOPEN THE SAME BUSINESS IN THE SAME LOCATION WHERE IT WENT BELLY-UP JUST LAST YEAR.
NO, NO, NO.
SEE, THIS IS NEW.
THIS IS COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.
NOW IT'S SAM'S PLACE.
WHAT WAS IT BEFORE? TIM'S PLACE.
SAM, DO YOU WANT MY, UM, HONEST OPINION? OH, YEAH, YOU BET.
THIS COULD WORK.
YES! BY WORK I MEAN, IF YOU POUR EVERY DIME YOU'VE GOT INTO THE PLACE, STRUGGLE, SCRIMP, AND SAVE, AND SOMEHOW HANG ON THROUGH THE LEAN YEARS YOU MIGHT BEGIN TO SHOW A TINY PROFIT.
AFTER THAT, LIVING MONTH BY MONTH, YEAR AFTER YEAR, PRAYING THERE'S NO RECESSION, YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY SCRAPE A LIVING, A DISMAL, ALTRUIST LIVING OUT OF IT.
OK.
OK.
SO, UM, WHAT'S THE DOWNSIDE? SAM, DON'T SHORTCHANGE YOURSELF.
DO YOU WANT JUST ANY BAR OR DO YOU WANT THE BEST BAR? LOOK HERE.
I'VE ALWAYS FOUND THAT THE SECRET OF SUCCESS IS HAVING A DREAM AND THEN HAVING THE COURAGE TO RUN AFTER IT.
REACH FOR THE STARS, SAM.
ASTONISH ME.
ASTONISH YOURSELF.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW, I GET THIS.
I GET-- ALL RIGHT.
Y-YOU'RE SAYING THAT I, UH-- I SHOULDN'T SETTLE FOR THIS CRUMMY LITTLE PLACE.
EXACTLY.
YEAH.
YEAH, I SHOULD, UH, BUY THE WHOLE BLOCK.
KEEP TALKING.
RIGHT, AND I COULD, UH, I COULD TEAR IT ALL DOWN AND-- AND--AND BUILD A HIGH RISE WITH A GREAT RIVER VIEW.
THAT'S WONDERFUL.
AND APARTMENTS AND CONDOS, AND 24-HOUR DONUT SHOPS.
AND--AND--AND A REAL BIG TALL BUILDING WITH SAM'S PLACE ON THE TOP.
AND IT'LL BE THE BEST DAMN BAR ON THE EAST COAST.
BEAUTIFUL, SAM.
CAN YOU DO IT? YES, I CAN.
NO, YOU CAN'T.
NO, I CAN'T.
NO, YOU CAN'T.
COME DOWN TO EARTH, FOR GOD'S SAKE.
SAM, W-W-WHAT YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF IS: "WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?" WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I, UH WHAT I REALLY WELL, I OUGTTA TELL YOU WHAT I WANT.
I WANT MY--MY BEAT-UP OLD DESK BACK.
I WANT MY SPORTS STUFF BACK ON THE WALLS.
I WANT TO GET RID OF THOSE CREEPY PLANTS OUT THERE AND THAT STUPID WORLD MAP OF WHEREVER THE HELL IT IS.
I WANT CHEERS.
THEN DO IT.
OH, GOD.
I MEAN, I--I'D LOVE TO GET CHEERS BACK.
BUT I--I DON'T EVEN THINK I CAN GET OUT OF THIS--THIS CRUMMY LITTLE DEAL HERE.
SEE, I'D BE HAPPY TO MAKE SOME PHONE CALLS FOR YOU.
I KNOW QUITE A FEW PEOPLE AROUND TOWN.
THAT'S MY, UH, PRIVATE NUMBER.
[exclaims.]
WELL, GOD, THIS IS GREAT.
THANK YOU.
UH, I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN EVER REPAY YOU HERE.
LET'S JUST SAY, YOU OWE ME A FAVOR.
ALL RIGHT.
YEAH.
ALL RIGHT, ONE FAVOR.
ANYTIME.
YEAH.
THANKS VERY MUCH.
HEY, GUYS! HEY, LISTEN TO THIS! I'M NOT GOING TO BUY THAT STUPID CRUMMY BAR.
[all cheering half-heartedly.]
I'M GONNA BUY THIS STUPID CRUMMY BAR.
[all cheering wildly.]
HEY, REBECCA, CAN I WORK THE NEXT SHIFT? I NEED THE OVERTIME.
SAM, LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO HERE.
BUT FORGET IT.
IT'S GONNA TAKE YOU THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO SAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY CHEERS.
HEY, IF SAM SAYS HE CAN DO IT, HE CAN DO IT.
WE HAVE FAITH IN YOU, SAM.
CHEERS IS GONNA BE YOURS.
I JUST HOPE I'M STILL ALIVE TO SEE IT.
IS REBECCA IN? YEAH.
SHE'S, UH, SHE'S IN HER OFFICE.
OH.
I'LL HAVE A BRANDY.
SAY, UH, MR.
COLCORD, I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR, UH, GETTING ME OUT OF THAT OTHER DEAL SO FAST.
WELL, UH, LET'S SAY YOU OWE ME ONE, EH? YEAH, RIGHT, RIGHT.
ACTUALLY, I HAD A THOUGHT ABOUT THAT OTHER IDEA WE HAD.
AND I DECIDED THAT MIGHT BE FUN, TOO.
WHAT IDEA WAS THAT? WELL, YOU REMEMBER, THE HIGH RISE WITH THE RIVER VIEW.
IT TURNS OUT IT'S ADJACENT TO THE PROPERTY THAT I'M DEVELOPING, SO I DECIDED TO BUY THE WHOLE BLOCK AND GIVE IT A GO.
BUT YOU--YOU SAID THAT WAS IMPOSSIBLE.
NO, I SAID IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE FOR YOU.
FOR ME IT WAS 2 PHONE CALLS AND A HANDSHAKE.
[chuckles.]
BUT THAT WAS-- THAT WAS MY IDEA.
WAS IT? SO HARD TO RECALL.
THE IDEAS WERE FLYING SO FAST AND FURIOUS IN THERE, WEREN'T THEY? WAIT--WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW, IF I'D BOUGHT THAT--THAT PROPERTY, COULDN'T I HAVE SOLD IT TO YOU FOR A PROFIT? BUT YOU WOULDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A FRIEND, WOULD YOU? YOU--YOU TALKED ME OUT OF THAT PLACE JUST SO YOU COULD GET IT YOURSELF.
NO, I--I DIDN'T TALK YOU OUT OF ANYTHING.
I TALKED YOU INTO FOLLOWING YOUR HEART.
YOU'RE A MAN WITH A DREAM, SAM.
I ENVY YOU.
BUT IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL ANY BETTER, I'M WILLING TO COME TO AN ARRANGEMENT.
OH, YEAH? YES, UH, LET'S SEE.
YES.
YOU NO LONGER OWE ME A FAVOR.
OH, UH, ROBIN.
I'M ALL SET.
LET ME JUST GET MY PURSE.
DARLING, YOU LOOK LOVELY.
I'LL GET MILES TO BRING THE CAR AROUND.
AND, UM, OH, THAT'S FOR THE DRINK.
SO, REBECCA, TONIGHT'S THE BIG NIGHT, HUH? [giggles.]
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I CAN FEEL IT.
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
I KNOW THAT I'M GONNA CHICKEN OUT AGAIN.
OH, ROBIN'S GONNA BE SO DISAPPOINTED.
NO.
NO, HE WON'T.
HE'S ALREADY DONE IT TO ME TODAY.