House, M.D. s08e04 Episode Script

Nice tie.
Are you at least gonna call the cops this time? Oh.
Then they might stop.
Just when they're beginning to capture my eyes.
Come on, Dad.
Let Rodrigo do this.
Your arthritis is obviously I can pick up my own lawn.
You know, if you wanted, you could put an end to all this.
Of course.
There are other ways to save the company.
I'm only moving it to China because I'm craving egg foo yung.
You know, I just got off the phone with some investors.
Yes, and they want a controlling interest? We get to stay here with the people who've been so loyal to this company.
Everyone keeps their jobs.
It's been a family business for 120 years.
There's no way I'm letting What's wrong? Dad? Dad? I need you to drive me to a doctor.
This would totally suck.
Patient's visited China a lot recently.
What about the JBE virus? Why don't you check his vaccination record before you make another stupid OMFG.
50% off cupcakes.
How sick is the patient? 'Cause this expires today.
Central serous retinopathy? It's linked to type-A personalities.
Funduscopic exam was normal.
If you don't let me read my email, then I won't be able to read the email to the entire staff from your ex-boss.
Thank you.
"Last month, I had an incident involving another PPTH employee.
"Though I can't speak to the details of the case, "while my disciplinary hearing is pending, "I want you to know that I have completed "voluntary sexual harassment training.
"And on a personal note, if my actions caused anyone distress, "I sincerely apologize.
" You are so fired.
What? He apologized.
What? Because he said he apologized? He's saying he's sorry that someone, namely you, overreacted, namely by punching him.
He grabbed my behind.
The word is it was a celebratory slap after you completed your first ever AVM embolization.
He grabbed it, he apologized for grabbing it and now he's taking classes because he grabbed it.
The classes make him sympathetic.
Which, in turn, makes his unrepentant attacker evil.
Which, in turn, in turn, makes you so fired.
I won't get fired.
Oh, you don't want to bet me.
Oh, my You're fired.
Uh, the bet is But I thought after then if only The bet's that I'll get fired after my hearing.
I'll take that action, too, but you're already a C-note in the hole.
You're late.
Considering I don't work here, arguably, I'm early.
Pearl earrings? Knee length dress? It's not a very shameful walk of shame.
I was at a job interview.
I hope it went terribly.
Thad Barton? We only help rich white guys'? I am an equal opportunity exploiter.
I only help those who can help myself I have a department to re-fund.
Atropine poisoning.
He's moving his company to China and his employees are hanging him in effigy.
They could have moved on to the real thing.
Pupils are normal.
Thyrotoxicosis? Not a terrible idea.
I'm gonna go give him PTU and TLC.
I have no idea what that second one stands for.
Things don't seem small anymore.
They were I woke up from a nap and everything went from really small lo really huge.
Well, then these giant balls of medicine are not gonna work anymore.
The change actually makes things simpler.
Your occipital lobe is acting up, giving you a migraine.
But I don't have a headache.
Not all migraines present that way.
It's called Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.
- Seriously? - I never joke.
Good news is it's treatable with medication.
Bad news is it can make you very, very late for very important dates.
I sometimes joke.
Thank you, Doctor.
Well, if you really want to thank me My department's not really a department 'cause my boss says he doesn't have the money, which provides a nice contrast with you.
We're trying to find money in our budget so we don't have to move our operations overseas.
I get it.
Answer's no.
Shouldn't have said anything.
I'm just glad that the symptoms showed up before you left for China.
'Cause I'm not sure the doctors over there would be so optimistic considering What are you guys talking about? Oh, just how different the two cultures are' For example, our opinions on mental illness.
'Cause here, it's considered a normal, treatable condition.
Ls everything okay? Everything's fine.
I could have you checked into a facility that exclusively treats mental disorder.
How's that sound? Whatever's gonna get him better.
Let's try the medication first.
You're hired.
You guys are gonna love Doctors Chase and Taub.
Keep your Nazi sentiments quiet around the little one.
You got the money? How? Patient's a smart businessman.
But he's destroying thousands of jobs.
Jobs are not being destroyed.
They're being relocated.
The fact that you see that as inherently bad means you're an irrational patriot.
To put it another way, a patriot.
Patriotism is natural.
We've always relied on our tribes to keep us safe.
It's helpful for society if its members have positive feelings about that society.
Iranian women? Drag queens in Uganda? Patriotism is nothing but loyalty to real estate.
Real estate that's been conquered with 800 different cultures.
But each time, it's just the best.
I claim this burger in the name of Queen Isabella of Spain.
I'll go check on the patient.
I have hepatitis C.
She got it from me.
Hey, how's my dad doing? Great.
His vision's back to normal and if he remains asymptomatic through the night, we'll be able to release him in the morning.
Any chance that could happen before 9:00? Our stock dropped a couple points today with the news that he's sick.
I would love for him to get out of here before the market opens.
No offense, but I think it's terrible your dad's closing down all your American operations.
I don't think he's moving the company out of greed.
He's moving it out of grief.
My mom, she died four months ago.
Non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and ifs been hard for him.
Living in their house, driving down the same streets.
I mean, he's constantly reminded of her.
Dad? I need an intubation kit in here.
What's going on? Angiography showed a hemorrhagic site in the left lower lobe.
I think it could be hyperviscosity syndrome.
Are you sure Foreman's okay with us being in his office? He's never gonna know.
He's actually in here right now.
Blood count and protein count are normal.
I think it could be hyperviscosity syndrome.
Sorry, but after Park sent out her hospital-wide non-apology apology this morning, I assume that plagiarism is the new black.
If it makes Andrews look sympathetic Copying him makes you look pathetic.
And I will pay you not to go to anger management classes.
What about another clotting problem? Factor V Leiden deficiency.
It's possible.
Adams is the one who needs to deal with her anger.
Myelodysplastic syndrome.
I heard about your conversation with the patient's daughter.
You were hostile.
Well, their company is making a decision I strongly disagree with.
Yet you were never anything but courteous to the racists and rapists in prison.
Those guys made decisions you supported? Myelodysplastic syndrome.
I'm guessing it has something to do with the funeral you attended yesterday morning.
I was at a job interview.
You got to work at 9:15.
Closest hospital with an opening in your specialty is 45 minutes away.
It's not possible.
My condolences.
I wasn't at a funeral.
Well, that just leaves everywhere but a job interview.
Get out.
Who goes there? Reveal yourself.
Now.
Well, we would but orthopedics is still squatting in two thirds of my office.
Which is weird because you got a large check last night.
From a corporation that's going through a very public belt-tightening, means this donation was given under duress.
Patient didn't tell me the whole story, but he did say he'd be thrilled if we didn't cash this.
Got a policy review meeting in here in five minutes.
Goodbye.
What are you doing? Holding your ass.
You really didn't know? House I was trying to help you out here.
I figured for sure he'd punch me in the face, thus proving it's a natural response.
My God, you have superhuman discipline.
And glutes.
Get your hands off me.
Sorry.
Go.
Why did you do mm? We have a bet.
But he's the chair of the disciplinary committee.
Forget about the bet.
You two really need to do your homework on me.
Treat the patient with activated protein C.
If he has myelodysplastic syndrome, he'll bleed out.
And if he has Factor V Leiden deficiency, he'll throw another clot.
Exactly.
It's a conclusive test.
There's no actual risk.
As long as you're both paying attention and are both good enough to work here.
I hear one of you thinks I'm a real bastard.
I guess that would be me.
Your boss uses blackmail and you question my professional ethics? Will you be instituting worker safety regulations in your new factories? Oh, absolutely.
What about juice boxes in the break room for the children you'll be hiring? Charges of child exploitation against American companies have been blown way out of proportion.
My 10-year-old cousin lives near Cebu City, works at an American factory.
I am so sorry.
It's the best thing for him.
It sucks' but the Filipino factories suck worse.
And the schools would suck if they existed.
So this is the family's best hope.
Are you okay? Is it supposed to itch like this? Itching.
Interesting.
Not interesting.
Already went away.
Doubly interesting.
Means we have to explain the arrival and the departure.
Ooh! That's real mature, House.
What do you mean? It's outlandishly childish.
I custom built this puppy.
It's got 106 LED's, each one sending light to your eye at a slightly different wavelength.
Turn that off.
The different wavelengths are stimulating your autonomic nervous system.
It's making you feel like you're on a boat in choppy waters.
On, cool.
You think I'm not.
“ You think I'm not gonna go to Foreman with this? You will and I'll deny it.
He'll believe you, but then these two believe that the policy of protecting American jobs starts at home, so they'll never testify against me.
And you won't be able to prove anything.
Now, if I punched him in the face, that he could prove.
I remember you saying something about how loyalty to real estate was stupid.
This is about reclaiming stolen property.
Loyalty to real estate is stupid because loyalty is stupid.
First patriotism, now loyalty.
You hate ice cream, too? French vanilla, yeah.
To willfully identify yourself with something else is a perversion of self-expression.
I had a thought.
Other than the fact that loyalty is the basis of all meaningful relationships.
The daughter said that her mother died of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
What if she was misdiagnosed? Dutch chocolate's not bad.
Gotta give them that.
Her lymphoma could have been caused by a virus, HTLV-1, which our patient contracted through having sex with his wife.
In other words, loyalty gave him cancer.
I like it.
Start him on radiation.
Chang and Eng Bunker, the most famous conjoined twins in history.
of their birth.
The best Halloween costumes are always the ones that need an explanation.
What took you so long? We already lost one of them.
You need help with the lacerations? No.
I think I've got palliative.
Why don't you take preventative? Prevent what? He got in a fight.
Which he started, which means he's both irascible and stupid.
I told the drunk, racist frat guy the proper term is "conjoined twin", not "Siamese".
Well, I can't comment on the drunk or the frat, but Chang and Eng were both, in fact, born in Siam and they were, in fact, twins.
If your name was Richard, it'd be okay for me to call you a dick.
I thought maybe some of the tripe you learnt in anger management class could help keep this guy out of here the next time.
Sometimes, it's incredibly satisfying to wind up and punch someone who really deserves it, but when you think about the consequences Okay, let's go.
I thought you wanted me to help him with his anger.
No.
I got everything I need.
"Sometimes, it's incredibly satisfying to wind up "and punch someone who deserves it.
" Wonder what the committee's gonna make of that.
This is a waste of time.
There's no way that Robin gave me an STD.
I know this is hard and I am sorry about your wife.
If you'd like to talk to someone we do have grief counselors at the hospital.
You sound like my daughter.
I miss my wife, but it's not driving my decision making.
You were CEO since 1988.
You decided to move your company right after your wife died.
Stands to reason that your emotions factored in.
My wife is the only thing that keeps me here.
I visit her grave once a week.
So your daughter was wrong.
You just really need a lot of money.
You ever hear of Kongo Gumi? A construction company in Japan, founded in the year 578, family owned and operated, building Buddhist temples for 50 generations.
Went bankrupt five years ago.
You have any idea how that last CEO must have felt? I'm sorry.
I have to move.
Your heart rate is speeding up.
Do you feel any tightness in your chest? Yes.
I figured it was from the radiation.
I think you're having a heart attack.
Come in.
Dr.
Wilson, I need your advice.
Um I bet House $100 that I wouldn't get fired after my disciplinary hearing.
Ever since then, he's been acting like he's actually trying to get me fired.
That's because he is actually trying to get you fired.
Does he hate me? Not sure that's relevant to the equation.
So it's really over $100? Not sure the amount is relevant.
He's fighting for his honor.
He'll ruin my career.
Not sure that's.
4.
What if I bet him $200 I will get fired? He sees competing bets with the same person as a disgrace to the game.
He'll be even more motivated to beat you.
If you were me, what would you do? You have to give him something he values more than honor.
And you should update your resume.
EKG and troponins were equivocal.
It's not even clear if our patient just had a heart attack or what it was.
Let's look at segmental wall motion abnormalities.
Get him an echo to confirm.
And I need $200,000.
His company's lost one third of its value since he was admitted.
And you want to do some insider trading? I take it felonies aren't a violation of your parole? It's not insider trading.
Just betting on myself to solve the case.
Once we cure him, share price goes up, I pay you back.
No.
No, you don't say "no" ' you make a counteroffer.
I'm not loaning my boss money.
Fine.
I'll make a counter.
$100,000? $20,000? I'll buy options instead of shares.
More risk, but more upside.
But that's as low as I'm gonna go.
I could do $5,000.
Really? No backsies.
If you double your clinic hours.
Six a week.
I've seen how you disrespect those patients.
So you want twice as many of them to be disrespected? Spend more hours with them, you'll treat them more humanely.
And this time, a land war in Russia will be a good idea.
Deal? Here's what I'm thinking.
You went to a parole hearing where one of your old patients was denied.
Hence the attire, hence the tardiness, and most important, hence the anger.
You think you can restore the cosmic balance by doing extra good here.
More annoyingly by having me do it.
And deal.
Of course, you know this means war.
Oh, I know.
I mean, you'll escalate and then I'll retaliate, and the cycle will continue until we've both gone too far.
At which point, I'll maybe get suspended and you'll go back to prison.
Happy pranking.
Patient had V-Tack in the echo lab, so we cathed him, but coronary arteries were clean.
If the plumbing's fine, check the electrical.
EP study.
Nice idea.
Even has a metaphor in it.
Not worth more than my honor, but delightful all the same.
I'm not going to lose.
My college roommate is the editor of the Yale Law Review.
She's writing my opening statement.
Well, then you'll be eloquent in your loss.
This case boils down to, "He said, she said.
" He said, "I've been working at this hospital for 15 years "and I am taking self-improvement classes.
" She said, "I've been a fellow for two months "and I'm kind of weird.
" No, he said, "I'm a drunk idiot "who thinks he can grab girls' behinds "without ramifications" Wait, he was drunk? In the hospital? I already told Foreman he'd been drinking that night.
Andrews was taking sexual harassment classes, not AA.
That means he didn't get in trouble for drinking.
Which means that Foreman signed off on it, which means that he set all the wheels in motion.
Forget that.
Wild speculation.
Go do the EP study.
You already knew Andrews was drinking that night, didn't you? Yes.
I think you should cancel my hearing.
I hope this isn't going where I assume it's going.
You're the one who brought Andrews in.
You set the wheels in motion.
We had a patient who was going to die without an AVM embolization.
Andrews was the only neurologist I could reach.
He told me he had a few glasses of wine and that he shouldn't do it, but he also said that you were good, and you were ready to do one as long as you were supervised.
So we agreed that he would come in, but wouldn't touch the patient.
I can understand the rationalization.
We'll see if the board agrees when I tell them the whole story at my hearing.
I already did.
I had a closed session hearing last week.
The board decided to dock me two weeks' pay.
Oh.
You've been working for House for two weeks, it's already too long.
No sign of any electrical abnormalities in the right atrium.
I'm so dead.
I think House set me up.
Have you sent the committee a character reference for me? I thought you don't like favors.
I don't like gifts.
It wouldn't be a gift, it'd just be you telling the truth.
I hardly know you.
Is he tamponading'? Heart rate's only 90 and neck veins are flat.
Then why isn't he saturating? Seems healthy to me.
Let's release him.
My option to sell Barton Foods at $34 is about to expire 'cause I thought the patient would be better by now.
Instead, I am going to lose $20,000.
Twenty? Your five plus the five I stole from Wilson plus the 10 I got on margin.
You're gonna have to talk to my bankruptcy attorney.
Unless There is a way that you can get your money back.
Give me the full $200,000.
And extrapolating.
Tomorrow, you'll owe just shy of a million dollars.
It's your own fault.
You forced me to go with the options.
Your damn anger issues are screwing with my finances.
Regular stock this time, nice and safe.
I'm not angry.
I don't know if you're trying to make me angry, but You refuse to bet on yourself.
That means low self-esteem.
So if I give you $200,000, I'll feel smart and pretty? Low self-esteem can be brought on by exposure to one's relatives.
Nice clothes and anger, classic symptoms of a family gathering.
You were late the other day 'cause you were having breakfast with Grammy Adams or Cousin Itt.
She was nagging you about finding a husband.
All right.
This is getting annoying.
I'll just tell you what I was Uh-uh-uh-uh! No spoilers.
They ruin everything.
Pulmonology was that way.
Our patient's lung problem is not a lung problem.
It's a brain problem.
We're consulting with neurology.
That's my old boss.
You don't actually think this is neurological.
I don't know what it is.
But maybe I should just accept the patient's death if getting help would lead to awkwardness.
Dr.
Andrews, my associates, Doctors Adams and Park.
Ah.
Nice to meet you, Dr.
Adams.
Hello, Dr.
Park.
You two know each other? It's a small world.
Dr.
Park, maybe you'd like to update our esteemed colleague on the condition of our patient? Micropsia, bleeding, tachycardia and difficulty breathing.
Cute butt, huh? Can we go now? What, you really want to turn your back on this guy'? Sorry.
Carry on.
Uh Well, it sounds like there could be spinal cord involvement.
Have you considered normal pressure hydrocephalus? Okay.
Normal pressure hydrocephalus going once.
Normal pressure hydrocephalus going twice It's not his spinal cord, it's the wiring between his heart and his brain.
Autonomic dysregulation syndrome.
We do a tilt table test, see how his heart rate responds.
That'll confirm.
Well, if he has normal pressure hydrocephalus, a tilt table test could put him in a coma.
Then it's a good thing he has ADS.
You really believe in this diagnosis? Because if this is just a pissing contest, you're at a severe anatomical disadvantage.
It's autonomic dysregulation syndrome.
No, it's normal pressure hydrocephalus.
Do a spinal fluid test to confirm.
We're doing the tilt table.
That makes sense.
You'd rather have House fire you than Foreman.
This bet's gotta be a test, see if I can handle working with him.
I need to prove I have the confidence to disobey him.
Do you have any medical justification for your diagnosis? The symptoms fit and Andrews is a hack.
Do you think I'm right? Let's go.
No.
You need to go prepare for your hearing.
Fifteen more minutes, Mr.
Barton.
A skin resurfacing laser is missing.
And why are you asking me about it? Because you work for House.
What would House want with a skin resurfacing laser? I have no idea.
Have you seen it? My feet feel hot.
That's completely normal.
No.
But House has been talking about how badly he wants to remove those prison tats.
It's a very expensive machine and I'd like it back.
Please tell me if you hear anything.
How expensive? $200,000.
He took it.
I have no idea.
Park's hearing's about to start.
You're covering for him.
I did the same thing many times.
My advice to you, figure out what line you aren't willing to cross for him.
Because, eventually, he'll ask you to cross it.
How are your feet? Mr.
Barton? Can you hear me, Mr.
Barton? Oh, no.
We have convened the Disciplinary Committee to decide the appropriate action that should be taken against Dr.
Chi Park as a result of her actions on October 7th of this year.
Dr.
Park, do you have an opening statement? Dr.
Foreman, members of the committee, thank you for giving me this opportunity to speak to you today.
I Good news.
You can cancel the hearing, because I'm firing her myself.
She's not yours to fire Then you guys better fire her for insubordination.
She went rogue and my patient is now in a coma.
I'm the one who did the test No.
It was my idea.
Seriously, House? At least I'm smart enough to know what I don't know.
She went out of her way to defy me, she needs Damn it, she Just fire her! My apologies.
My apologies, Dr.
Park.
Dr.
House's comments will, of course, have no bearing on this hearing.
Please continue.
I, uh I can't believe you did that.
Right back at you.
Our patient's dying We need theories.
It's gotta be normal pressure hydrocephalus.
Andrews predicted the coma.
Yeah, but even a broken doctor is right twice a day.
The patient wasn't wet, wabbly or wacky.
The coma had to be a lucky guess.
If you didn't think he was right, then why did you want us to collect his spinal fluid? I didn't.
I wanted you to do a tilt table test.
You have a wonderful way of communicating.
I knew Park wanted to do a tilt table.
If she listens to me, I waste an hour, if she defies me, then I get the test I want and my 100 bucks.
Up high.
You're an ass.
You're angry.
Yes.
Now I'm angry.
Let's run the test for normal pressure hydrocephalus.
No.
What else would explain our symptoms and make our patient go into a coma during that test? What about hepatic encephalopathy? No.
We already tested his liver enzymes.
They're normal.
Or his liver's so far gone, it can't even produce enzymes.
That's desperate.
It fits the symptoms.
And Andrews is a hack.
Go biopsy to confirm, unless you want your own hearing.
You'd have to hire me first.
So you do realize that it is unacceptable to hit someone in the work place? Yes.
Completely unacceptable.
I wasn't thinking.
I guess I mean, I guess, technically, I was thinking.
It happened so fast, I didn't I It's like It's like it wasn't even me.
I would never do something like that.
Even though I did.
I'm sorry I'm not making any sense right now.
I don't know.
I just really love being a doctor so much, and I barely even have $100 and Please don't fire me.
Is this theory more promising than the others? We'll know in a few hours.
How are you holding up? Other than the fact that my dad's in a coma, terrible.
Tomorrow morning, I am supposed to sign a piece of paper that will move the company and cost thousands of employees their jobs.
I thought you'd rather see the company go under in New Jersey than thrive in China.
It's what my dad wants, and it's still his company.
I'm really just keeping the seat warm.
But unless he wakes up before tomorrow, it's gonna be my signature on that piece of paper.
You don't have to sign it.
I'll let you know when we have the results.
Biopsy was clean.
It's not his liver.
I also ran the spinal fluid test, and you were right that Andrews was wrong.
His ICP was not normal, it was elevated.
What about HTLV? We ruled that out three days ago.
Because of his heart problems.
But.
“ Once something gets taken off the board, I'm the only one who's allowed to put it back on.
You owe me 106,804 won.
Or $100 US.
God, but you're petty.
Okay.
So, two options.
Either we figure out what's wrong with this guy, or we figure out how to make this company profitable in New Jersey.
Eastern equine encephalitis? Thinking in here.
Brain scans indicate it could be Loa loa disease.
Shut it off! Apparently we're allowed to do this now.
Get out of here, House.
Start the patient on plasmapheresis.
He'll wake up in an hour.
It's been a pleasure having you in the neighborhood.
This diagnosis was brought to you by the letter Y.
Dad! God, you're okay.
I'm thirsty.
It's a side effect of not dying.
Turns out your blood was getting thick and syrupy from complexes of large Y-shaped antibodies.
They were clogging up your blood vessels, causing your organs to shut down, one by one.
Usually, with hyperviscosity syndrome, it's caused by an elevated blood count or protein count, but yours eluded us because it was caused by antibodies from your rheumatoid arthritis.
Now that they're being filtered out, your blood will be a little less duck sauce, and a little more soy sauce.
So I'm gonna be completely cured? It's not all about you.
Your stock price will be completely cured once you sign this.
It's a press release.
It says that you're healthy, you're going back to work, and you're signing the lease that officially moves the company to China.
He just woke up.
Dad, you don't have to deal with this right now.
Actually, he does.
Because the market opens at 9:00 a.
m.
And this means a lotto me.
You may remember me from the time I saved your life.
If you move it, it'll be without me.
I know you object, I know you disagree Dad.
I can't do it.
If this is really about family, you will not do this.
Morning.
I got lucky this time.
No, you didn't.
I made this bet so you'd stop actively trying to fire Park, so you'd be neutral.
You went out of your way to help her.
She obviously earned your respect, passed whatever test you I sabotaged her hearing.
You do read the school paper, don't you? If you had sabotaged her hearing, she would have gotten more than a slap on the wrist.
What you actually did was make her emotional, and make the board members see her as a victim.
Because the panel feels badly for incompetent doctors who nearly kill people.
You know that everyone on that panel hates you.
You know the minute you recommend firing anyone, they start discussing how big a bonus to give them.
That's just hurtful.
Fact is, winning $100 from you gives me more pleasure than winning $100 from her.
Here's your 5 grand.
What 5 grand? Just take it.
Trust me.
I found her sleeping in the park.
Says she ran away because her daddy didn't love her.
And that is exactly what happened as far as you can prove.
Congratulations.
You're not going to jail.
Today.
But you do know I just can't let this slide.
Well, you need to keep up your rep.
Fine, clinic hours.
I'll double them.
Okay.
Twelve hours a week.
No.
Three times two equals six.
And three times two times two is twelve.
I know about your deal with Adams.
Call Chase and Taub.
Get them in here.
The boys are back.
This check is for significantly more than what I told you it would take to fund the department.
I know.
You paged me? Congratulations.
You caught your boyfriend cheating that morning.
You had a big fight, that's why you were late.
You re-pitched an STD.
You haven't gone two consecutive minutes without using the word "loyalty", which explains the anger and low self-esteem.
And the desire to feel pretty after having been rejected explains the clothes.
It wasn't my boyfriend.
It was my husband.
I was at my lawyer's office signing the divorce papers.
Wow.
I missed the fact that you were married.
We've been separated for almost a year.
So Old news? No anger left? It's all bought and paid for.