King of the Hill s10e10 Episode Script
Hank Fixes Everything
1 and with the promotional discount, combined with your Auto Club discount, your refill Ah, it says outside that you also honor competitor's coupons.
That is true.
So, including that, your total is Uh, looks like we owe you three dollars.
( sighs ) Sir, this price war is bleeding us dry.
We can't keep selling propane at a loss.
Yeah, well, I ain't never lost a price war, and I don't intend to start now.
Passions always run so high around Propane Expo.
Uh, Joe Jack, give me a hand outside with the sign.
Sure, honey.
What's up? You're fired! There.
Now I just saved us 400 bucks a week.
Wait! I need this job! Sorry, no room in the lifeboat! Well, I guess that's how shoes get stuck in trees.
And purses.
Hey, baby doll! The radio just said Brownsville Station are doing a reunion tour-- "Still Smokin' In The Boys' Room!" Brownsville Station is your favorite band ever! They inspired him to play guitar.
And to smoke.
Let's go to the Agora Theater and get us some tickets.
Can I come? I don't have shoes.
The Station's not about shoes.
They're about rock.
Come on! Smokin' in the boys' room, yeah Smokin' in the boys' room Thatherton's doing it again, Hank.
He's up to 3-for-1.
Now, when Mr.
Strickland comes back, he's gonna want the "4.
" It's our job to say we can't find it.
You know who was a really good liar? Joe Jack.
He'll be okay.
I got him a job at the Propane Expo this weekend.
You know, to tide him over.
Oh, that's great.
What's he doing? Uh, he's wearing a sandwich board.
He's gonna be the restroom arrow guy.
( fist thuds ) We can't go on like this, Hank! The more we sell, the more we lose! The more we lose, the more we sell! I'm-I'm-I'm having a panic attack! Enrique, get a grip.
Get your heads out of the oven, folks! I hired those fellas from the American Chopper show to make an appearance at the Expo.
I love those guys the way they fight and build motorcycles! Yeah, yeah, well, right now they in Dallas building a bike for some billionaire computer geek, but I convinced them to make a little detour to Arlen.
You take that, you son of a bitch! I got myself some basic cable TV stars! Huh, I would've thought big-name guests like that would charge an awfully steep appearance fee.
Well, that depends on where $20,000 sits on your steepness radar.
$20,000? Sir, I'm not sure this is the best use of our limited financial resources.
Well, I am! From now on, whenever people watch American Chopper, they'll think Strickland Propane.
( gasps ): Like whenever I see a blimp, I think of that company, you know What is it, again? Anyway, it's called "branding.
" Ah, you hear that, Thatherton?! You hear that AA-1?! I'm gonna brand all your asses! What are you doing sitting on your butt? We gotta get that bike on the floor of the Javits Center by Friday.
I'm reading a magazine.
You stupid, stupid idiot! I'm not sure these are the guys to be representing Strickland Propane.
They seem to fight an awful lot.
Yes, but they are celebrities, Hank, and studies show that people would rather watch celebrities fight than regular people make love.
Huh.
Well, people at work sure seemed excited about 'em.
Maybe it'll be okay.
PAUL JR: Hey, Pop, how do I look on this bike? ( crashing sound ) PAUL SR.
: Now you got something to do, Paulie-- clean that up.
So, Lucky, when do tickets go on sale? One hour and six days.
That's a long time to stand in line without shoes.
Let's go home and order tickets when they're for sale on the Internet.
You want to get the best seats, don't you? Well, how can you tell if you're first in line on the Internet? You can't.
If I'm here, I can see it.
Line starts behind me.
ANNOUNCER ON P.
A.
(indistinct ) I can't believe the American Chopper guys are here in Arlen! Which Teutul is your favorite? Mine's Paul Sr.
He looks like a walrus but yells like a man.
I tell you what, man, that dang ol' Paulie Jr.
's like the dang ol' show, man.
That Spiderman bike, man? Talkin' âÂÂbout dang ol' epic, man.
You know, some believe there was a fourth Teutul, but he fell into a vat of chrome and was turned into a bitchin' sissy bar.
Well, I guess Buck was right.
Look at all these people.
So, Hank, are they bringing a motorcycle made with propane tanks, one that runs on propane, or one that just looks like propane? I don't know.
Buck handled all the negotiations.
Oh, my God.
It's the state regulatory commissioner.
Uh, having a good time, Commissioner Evers? I'm not here to have a good time, Hill.
Well, I am.
Damn it, Dale, you don't mouth off to a commissioner.
They give licenses and they can take them away.
So, Walter, what do you think your customers are gonna like better, my boys from American Chopper or your free refrigerator magnet, huh? ( laughing ) Hey, Jerry Sandoval, have some ChapStick-- you're about to kiss my ass! Afternoon, everyone.
I'm Buck Strickland from Strickland Propane and I think I know what you all are here for! ( cheering ) American Chopper rules! Now let's have a big Strickland Propane welcome for the guys from American Chopper the two Pauls and Mikey-- presented by Strickland Propane! ( crowd cheering ) We love you, Mikey! Let's hear it for Paulie and Mikey.
And Pop.
Boy, if the crowd is this fired up, just wait till they bring out the bike.
Way to go, Mikey! Big time! That's what I'm talkin' about! Yes! Bring out the bike! ( chanting ): Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Hey, Strickland, is this all they're gonna do? Yeah, they don't even have a bike! I've got magnets! I'm going over to Thatherton Fuels to get a free pamphlet from Miss December 1978! Uh, sir, what exactly are they going to do for the next half hour? I don't really know.
I'm not a fine print kind of guy.
Hey, any of you fellas bring a chopper? A a helmet? Something?! I wanted to bring the "NASCAR" bike, but these chuckleheads didn't finish it.
Maybe I coulda finished it if you would've stopped asking every five minutes when I was gonna finish it.
Okay, numb nuts, I'm startin' to get aggravated here.
( blows landing ) Hey, let go of the hat! It bounced off my face! Hey, fruitcake, that's my boy's hat! Don't make me come down there and use this size 12 on your face! ( people shouting ) ( blows landing ) Uh, would you join me in the singing of our national anthem? Rock and roll! Yikes! This is one ugly story about Strickland Propane.
But it does have your name in it, so it's going right in the scrapbook.
We're making those animals at Natural Gas look like choirboys.
( both gasping, panting ) Okay, now, let's all calm down.
You're grown men.
Arlen Hospital can't handle two bypasses at once.
Buck, it's the Teutuls.
They want their appearance fee.
Yeah.
Come on, Buck.
We got work to do.
You got lucky this time, Thatherton.
Uh you're breathing pretty heavy, sir.
I'll handle this.
Could you keep it short, Hank? I got a job interview on the other line.
This is Hank Hill, Assistant Manager, and we are not going to pay you for inciting a riot.
PAULIE, SR.
: You stupid, stupid idiot! Oh, God.
No time to pray.
We got to turn things up a notch.
I'm going to put on some cologne and renew my acquaintance with Jerry Sandoval's wife.
That will show him we mean business.
Being bored all day makes me hungry.
Not to worry.
I came prepared.
Let me dip into our provisions.
Could I have a sandwich with something on it besides bread? Soon, Bobby.
Once people start lining up, we'll be able to trade for anything your heart desires: lunch meat, pickles, Brownsville Station bootlegs.
Oh, good! Here's Elvin with our comfort station.
I can't go in a Porta-Potty.
I'm going to find a ladies' room.
Whoa! You can't leave, baby.
No saves-ies.
It's the Code of the Line.
But I can't hold it for five days! I have to get going.
I got homework to do.
Nuh-uh.
You can't go if I can't go.
Hold on, Bobby.
Are you still in school? Seventh grade.
Then run along, professor.
What about the Code of the Line? The Code acknowledges that the children are our future.
I got a call about the sweepstakes.
I'm here to pick up my portable TV.
HANK: Over here, Walter.
What the What What's going on?! The sweepstakes was a lie, Walter.
But I did get you each a television.
I had to test drive four minivans just to get them, but it'll be worth it if I can sit the four of you down and get you to stop this insanity.
They started it! Mr.
Strickland, forgive me, but shut up.
You're acting like a baby.
You all are.
You're grown businessmen.
We're only hurting ourselves with this senseless price war.
Why not pool our experience to serve our customers better? And stop insulting them by charging less than our product is really worth.
It would be nice to charge enough to at least break even.
Yeah, sure.
But then one of you bastards will undercut me! That's why we have to stop all this backstabbing.
Now, if you had quit wasting your energy on this price war and pulled together for a change, imagine what you could accomplish.
Buck, I think your boy might be on to something.
Yeah.
When you think about it, I guess we all want the same thing.
Thanks, Ol' Top.
We really owe you.
Now, why don't you run out and order us some pie and ice cream and such so we can celebrate.
Can do, sir! So, we all agreed? We all jack up our prices, and we keep them there.
No backstabbing.
No competing.
Just like Hank said.
Of course, y'all know this is highly illegal.
We'd better drink on it.
( funk plays ) ( vocalizing ) Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I seen you around for a long, long time I really remembered you when you drink my wine Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Sure feels good to be back at my old desk with all these new pens.
Yep.
Things have really turned around since Buck and the others decided to start acting more responsibly.
Hi.
Yeah.
I went to Pine Creek Propane to sign up for home delivery, but they told me to come over here.
Walter sent you here? It's all right, Joe Jack.
We're divvying up our accounts by zip code now.
Less time on the road, and more time serving the customer.
Hank, we're off to shoot us some whitetails and whatever else moves.
Why don't you just lock up the fort, get a head start on the weekend? But it's barely 4:30.
And it's Thursday.
Who wants to go to the water park?! God, we thank you and your servant Buck Strickland for putting this food on the table.
Sorry to interrupt, Mr.
Hill.
If we could have a word, the rest of you can go back to your prayer.
Commissioner Evers? If I knew you were coming Bobby, get him a plate! Oh, my gosh! Are you here to give Hank some kind of state propane award? Well, this is a surprise.
I am here as part of an ongoing investigation against Strickland Propane, Pine Creek Propane, AA-1 Propane and Thatherton Fuels.
What? What kind of investigation? It appears your associates, also known as The Heimlich Four, have joined in a criminal conspiracy to engage in price-fixing.
Price-fixing? That's crazy.
Under an arrangement masterminded by you.
( all gasping ) Not to pile on, but the meat's a little overdone.
All the evidence points to collusion: prices rising sharply and in unison; sharing of customers; excessive profits among what used to be fierce competitors.
Commissioner, I swear on my Blue Flame of Valor award I have no idea what you're talking about.
Don't play dumb.
We know you're the brains behind this whole illegal cartel.
This month's TPGA newsletter: "âÂÂI am happy to have brought these dealers together in a new spirit of cooperation,' said Hill.
" I ought to pull your Hazmat certification right now.
You have to believe me, I never meant to start an illegal cartel.
I love propane, I'd never do anything to hurt it.
Well, I guess there is something you could do to convince me.
I want you to wear this wire.
Get The Heimlich Four incriminating themselves on tape.
Do that, and you walk.
( sighs ): What am I going to do? I can't wear a wire.
You have to, Hank.
If you don't, they will send you to jail.
The only decision you have to make is whether to shave your chest or your back.
You don't understand, this is all my fault.
I tempted Buck and the others with no competition and huge profits.
It was like waving a whiskey bottle in front of an alcoholic.
Fine.
It's your decision to make.
But if you do end up going to jail, please do not tell them it was over propane or they will eat you up.
I give you permission to say you murdered me.
Hopefully it won't come to that.
Wait a minute.
Testing, testing, one, two Testing, one, two ( door opens ) Hey, maybe we could take the wives to Switzerland for New Year's.
You know, do a little skiing, visit our money ( laughing ) ( laughing ) HANK: Uh, good morning, Mr.
Strickland.
Sirs.
Uh, can I interest you in some coffee? Donuts? Anything? What, you got the palsy, or is the AC on the fritz? If it's the latter, bring us a fan.
We'll be in my office discussing matters of consequence.
B-but Sounds like the palsy.
No fan.
But bring in some coffee.
Try not to spill it.
( motorcycles roaring ) ( motorcycles revving ) It's the Teutuls! Let me guess, you want to beat your appearance fee out of me.
No, it wasn't right the way we came here unprepared and started a riot.
You understand how kids sometimes don't listen when you try to tell them what needs to be done.
Hey, I'm not the one who sang a song called "Twenty Grand" on our lunch break.
The point is, we want to put on a decent show.
We brought some bikes.
I rode one.
Watch.
( sighs ) Well, it's too late for a show.
I told you so.
Look, I'm really starting to get aggravated.
I don't want to have this conversation again.
( motorcycle revs ) I told you once ( motorcycle revving ) ( motorcycle roars ) ( no audio except motorcycles roaring ) There is something you can do for me! ( motorcycle revving ) ( motorcycles roaring ) ( engines revving ) ( motorcycle revving continues) ( motorcycles revving ) ( engine roar fades ) which is why I think we should form our own ethics committee.
One with even higher standards than the commission that oversees us.
Yes, I agree.
As do I.
Even more so.
I, Jerry Sandoval, have been saying that for years.
JOE JACK: Here comes the gorilla.
Oh, no, looks like he's got a propangatang, too.
Thanks for keeping me out of jail, Hank.
I burned some bridges with the Aryans last time through.
Thatherton Fuel's giving an extra ten percent off on refills.
Can you match that? Uh, no, ma'am, we won't.
But what we will do is calibrate your OPD valve and carry your tank to your car.
That sounds okay.
It sure does.
Are the tickets finally going on sale? I hope so because I think I might have bread poisoning.
The Station appreciates your sacrifice.
May I help you? I'd like three tickets for Brownsville Station, directly in front of the speaker tower to the left of the stage.
You know those seats are obstructed view? Not when Mike Lutz climbs up there and plays his guitar solo.
For those ten minutes, they're the best seats in the house! What are you waiting for now? The concert's not for another two weeks.
I want to make sure I get a T-shirt in my size.
They always run out of ladies' medium.
Line starts behind me.
You stupid, stupid idiot!
That is true.
So, including that, your total is Uh, looks like we owe you three dollars.
( sighs ) Sir, this price war is bleeding us dry.
We can't keep selling propane at a loss.
Yeah, well, I ain't never lost a price war, and I don't intend to start now.
Passions always run so high around Propane Expo.
Uh, Joe Jack, give me a hand outside with the sign.
Sure, honey.
What's up? You're fired! There.
Now I just saved us 400 bucks a week.
Wait! I need this job! Sorry, no room in the lifeboat! Well, I guess that's how shoes get stuck in trees.
And purses.
Hey, baby doll! The radio just said Brownsville Station are doing a reunion tour-- "Still Smokin' In The Boys' Room!" Brownsville Station is your favorite band ever! They inspired him to play guitar.
And to smoke.
Let's go to the Agora Theater and get us some tickets.
Can I come? I don't have shoes.
The Station's not about shoes.
They're about rock.
Come on! Smokin' in the boys' room, yeah Smokin' in the boys' room Thatherton's doing it again, Hank.
He's up to 3-for-1.
Now, when Mr.
Strickland comes back, he's gonna want the "4.
" It's our job to say we can't find it.
You know who was a really good liar? Joe Jack.
He'll be okay.
I got him a job at the Propane Expo this weekend.
You know, to tide him over.
Oh, that's great.
What's he doing? Uh, he's wearing a sandwich board.
He's gonna be the restroom arrow guy.
( fist thuds ) We can't go on like this, Hank! The more we sell, the more we lose! The more we lose, the more we sell! I'm-I'm-I'm having a panic attack! Enrique, get a grip.
Get your heads out of the oven, folks! I hired those fellas from the American Chopper show to make an appearance at the Expo.
I love those guys the way they fight and build motorcycles! Yeah, yeah, well, right now they in Dallas building a bike for some billionaire computer geek, but I convinced them to make a little detour to Arlen.
You take that, you son of a bitch! I got myself some basic cable TV stars! Huh, I would've thought big-name guests like that would charge an awfully steep appearance fee.
Well, that depends on where $20,000 sits on your steepness radar.
$20,000? Sir, I'm not sure this is the best use of our limited financial resources.
Well, I am! From now on, whenever people watch American Chopper, they'll think Strickland Propane.
( gasps ): Like whenever I see a blimp, I think of that company, you know What is it, again? Anyway, it's called "branding.
" Ah, you hear that, Thatherton?! You hear that AA-1?! I'm gonna brand all your asses! What are you doing sitting on your butt? We gotta get that bike on the floor of the Javits Center by Friday.
I'm reading a magazine.
You stupid, stupid idiot! I'm not sure these are the guys to be representing Strickland Propane.
They seem to fight an awful lot.
Yes, but they are celebrities, Hank, and studies show that people would rather watch celebrities fight than regular people make love.
Huh.
Well, people at work sure seemed excited about 'em.
Maybe it'll be okay.
PAUL JR: Hey, Pop, how do I look on this bike? ( crashing sound ) PAUL SR.
: Now you got something to do, Paulie-- clean that up.
So, Lucky, when do tickets go on sale? One hour and six days.
That's a long time to stand in line without shoes.
Let's go home and order tickets when they're for sale on the Internet.
You want to get the best seats, don't you? Well, how can you tell if you're first in line on the Internet? You can't.
If I'm here, I can see it.
Line starts behind me.
ANNOUNCER ON P.
A.
(indistinct ) I can't believe the American Chopper guys are here in Arlen! Which Teutul is your favorite? Mine's Paul Sr.
He looks like a walrus but yells like a man.
I tell you what, man, that dang ol' Paulie Jr.
's like the dang ol' show, man.
That Spiderman bike, man? Talkin' âÂÂbout dang ol' epic, man.
You know, some believe there was a fourth Teutul, but he fell into a vat of chrome and was turned into a bitchin' sissy bar.
Well, I guess Buck was right.
Look at all these people.
So, Hank, are they bringing a motorcycle made with propane tanks, one that runs on propane, or one that just looks like propane? I don't know.
Buck handled all the negotiations.
Oh, my God.
It's the state regulatory commissioner.
Uh, having a good time, Commissioner Evers? I'm not here to have a good time, Hill.
Well, I am.
Damn it, Dale, you don't mouth off to a commissioner.
They give licenses and they can take them away.
So, Walter, what do you think your customers are gonna like better, my boys from American Chopper or your free refrigerator magnet, huh? ( laughing ) Hey, Jerry Sandoval, have some ChapStick-- you're about to kiss my ass! Afternoon, everyone.
I'm Buck Strickland from Strickland Propane and I think I know what you all are here for! ( cheering ) American Chopper rules! Now let's have a big Strickland Propane welcome for the guys from American Chopper the two Pauls and Mikey-- presented by Strickland Propane! ( crowd cheering ) We love you, Mikey! Let's hear it for Paulie and Mikey.
And Pop.
Boy, if the crowd is this fired up, just wait till they bring out the bike.
Way to go, Mikey! Big time! That's what I'm talkin' about! Yes! Bring out the bike! ( chanting ): Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Bike! Hey, Strickland, is this all they're gonna do? Yeah, they don't even have a bike! I've got magnets! I'm going over to Thatherton Fuels to get a free pamphlet from Miss December 1978! Uh, sir, what exactly are they going to do for the next half hour? I don't really know.
I'm not a fine print kind of guy.
Hey, any of you fellas bring a chopper? A a helmet? Something?! I wanted to bring the "NASCAR" bike, but these chuckleheads didn't finish it.
Maybe I coulda finished it if you would've stopped asking every five minutes when I was gonna finish it.
Okay, numb nuts, I'm startin' to get aggravated here.
( blows landing ) Hey, let go of the hat! It bounced off my face! Hey, fruitcake, that's my boy's hat! Don't make me come down there and use this size 12 on your face! ( people shouting ) ( blows landing ) Uh, would you join me in the singing of our national anthem? Rock and roll! Yikes! This is one ugly story about Strickland Propane.
But it does have your name in it, so it's going right in the scrapbook.
We're making those animals at Natural Gas look like choirboys.
( both gasping, panting ) Okay, now, let's all calm down.
You're grown men.
Arlen Hospital can't handle two bypasses at once.
Buck, it's the Teutuls.
They want their appearance fee.
Yeah.
Come on, Buck.
We got work to do.
You got lucky this time, Thatherton.
Uh you're breathing pretty heavy, sir.
I'll handle this.
Could you keep it short, Hank? I got a job interview on the other line.
This is Hank Hill, Assistant Manager, and we are not going to pay you for inciting a riot.
PAULIE, SR.
: You stupid, stupid idiot! Oh, God.
No time to pray.
We got to turn things up a notch.
I'm going to put on some cologne and renew my acquaintance with Jerry Sandoval's wife.
That will show him we mean business.
Being bored all day makes me hungry.
Not to worry.
I came prepared.
Let me dip into our provisions.
Could I have a sandwich with something on it besides bread? Soon, Bobby.
Once people start lining up, we'll be able to trade for anything your heart desires: lunch meat, pickles, Brownsville Station bootlegs.
Oh, good! Here's Elvin with our comfort station.
I can't go in a Porta-Potty.
I'm going to find a ladies' room.
Whoa! You can't leave, baby.
No saves-ies.
It's the Code of the Line.
But I can't hold it for five days! I have to get going.
I got homework to do.
Nuh-uh.
You can't go if I can't go.
Hold on, Bobby.
Are you still in school? Seventh grade.
Then run along, professor.
What about the Code of the Line? The Code acknowledges that the children are our future.
I got a call about the sweepstakes.
I'm here to pick up my portable TV.
HANK: Over here, Walter.
What the What What's going on?! The sweepstakes was a lie, Walter.
But I did get you each a television.
I had to test drive four minivans just to get them, but it'll be worth it if I can sit the four of you down and get you to stop this insanity.
They started it! Mr.
Strickland, forgive me, but shut up.
You're acting like a baby.
You all are.
You're grown businessmen.
We're only hurting ourselves with this senseless price war.
Why not pool our experience to serve our customers better? And stop insulting them by charging less than our product is really worth.
It would be nice to charge enough to at least break even.
Yeah, sure.
But then one of you bastards will undercut me! That's why we have to stop all this backstabbing.
Now, if you had quit wasting your energy on this price war and pulled together for a change, imagine what you could accomplish.
Buck, I think your boy might be on to something.
Yeah.
When you think about it, I guess we all want the same thing.
Thanks, Ol' Top.
We really owe you.
Now, why don't you run out and order us some pie and ice cream and such so we can celebrate.
Can do, sir! So, we all agreed? We all jack up our prices, and we keep them there.
No backstabbing.
No competing.
Just like Hank said.
Of course, y'all know this is highly illegal.
We'd better drink on it.
( funk plays ) ( vocalizing ) Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? I seen you around for a long, long time I really remembered you when you drink my wine Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? Sure feels good to be back at my old desk with all these new pens.
Yep.
Things have really turned around since Buck and the others decided to start acting more responsibly.
Hi.
Yeah.
I went to Pine Creek Propane to sign up for home delivery, but they told me to come over here.
Walter sent you here? It's all right, Joe Jack.
We're divvying up our accounts by zip code now.
Less time on the road, and more time serving the customer.
Hank, we're off to shoot us some whitetails and whatever else moves.
Why don't you just lock up the fort, get a head start on the weekend? But it's barely 4:30.
And it's Thursday.
Who wants to go to the water park?! God, we thank you and your servant Buck Strickland for putting this food on the table.
Sorry to interrupt, Mr.
Hill.
If we could have a word, the rest of you can go back to your prayer.
Commissioner Evers? If I knew you were coming Bobby, get him a plate! Oh, my gosh! Are you here to give Hank some kind of state propane award? Well, this is a surprise.
I am here as part of an ongoing investigation against Strickland Propane, Pine Creek Propane, AA-1 Propane and Thatherton Fuels.
What? What kind of investigation? It appears your associates, also known as The Heimlich Four, have joined in a criminal conspiracy to engage in price-fixing.
Price-fixing? That's crazy.
Under an arrangement masterminded by you.
( all gasping ) Not to pile on, but the meat's a little overdone.
All the evidence points to collusion: prices rising sharply and in unison; sharing of customers; excessive profits among what used to be fierce competitors.
Commissioner, I swear on my Blue Flame of Valor award I have no idea what you're talking about.
Don't play dumb.
We know you're the brains behind this whole illegal cartel.
This month's TPGA newsletter: "âÂÂI am happy to have brought these dealers together in a new spirit of cooperation,' said Hill.
" I ought to pull your Hazmat certification right now.
You have to believe me, I never meant to start an illegal cartel.
I love propane, I'd never do anything to hurt it.
Well, I guess there is something you could do to convince me.
I want you to wear this wire.
Get The Heimlich Four incriminating themselves on tape.
Do that, and you walk.
( sighs ): What am I going to do? I can't wear a wire.
You have to, Hank.
If you don't, they will send you to jail.
The only decision you have to make is whether to shave your chest or your back.
You don't understand, this is all my fault.
I tempted Buck and the others with no competition and huge profits.
It was like waving a whiskey bottle in front of an alcoholic.
Fine.
It's your decision to make.
But if you do end up going to jail, please do not tell them it was over propane or they will eat you up.
I give you permission to say you murdered me.
Hopefully it won't come to that.
Wait a minute.
Testing, testing, one, two Testing, one, two ( door opens ) Hey, maybe we could take the wives to Switzerland for New Year's.
You know, do a little skiing, visit our money ( laughing ) ( laughing ) HANK: Uh, good morning, Mr.
Strickland.
Sirs.
Uh, can I interest you in some coffee? Donuts? Anything? What, you got the palsy, or is the AC on the fritz? If it's the latter, bring us a fan.
We'll be in my office discussing matters of consequence.
B-but Sounds like the palsy.
No fan.
But bring in some coffee.
Try not to spill it.
( motorcycles roaring ) ( motorcycles revving ) It's the Teutuls! Let me guess, you want to beat your appearance fee out of me.
No, it wasn't right the way we came here unprepared and started a riot.
You understand how kids sometimes don't listen when you try to tell them what needs to be done.
Hey, I'm not the one who sang a song called "Twenty Grand" on our lunch break.
The point is, we want to put on a decent show.
We brought some bikes.
I rode one.
Watch.
( sighs ) Well, it's too late for a show.
I told you so.
Look, I'm really starting to get aggravated.
I don't want to have this conversation again.
( motorcycle revs ) I told you once ( motorcycle revving ) ( motorcycle roars ) ( no audio except motorcycles roaring ) There is something you can do for me! ( motorcycle revving ) ( motorcycles roaring ) ( engines revving ) ( motorcycle revving continues) ( motorcycles revving ) ( engine roar fades ) which is why I think we should form our own ethics committee.
One with even higher standards than the commission that oversees us.
Yes, I agree.
As do I.
Even more so.
I, Jerry Sandoval, have been saying that for years.
JOE JACK: Here comes the gorilla.
Oh, no, looks like he's got a propangatang, too.
Thanks for keeping me out of jail, Hank.
I burned some bridges with the Aryans last time through.
Thatherton Fuel's giving an extra ten percent off on refills.
Can you match that? Uh, no, ma'am, we won't.
But what we will do is calibrate your OPD valve and carry your tank to your car.
That sounds okay.
It sure does.
Are the tickets finally going on sale? I hope so because I think I might have bread poisoning.
The Station appreciates your sacrifice.
May I help you? I'd like three tickets for Brownsville Station, directly in front of the speaker tower to the left of the stage.
You know those seats are obstructed view? Not when Mike Lutz climbs up there and plays his guitar solo.
For those ten minutes, they're the best seats in the house! What are you waiting for now? The concert's not for another two weeks.
I want to make sure I get a T-shirt in my size.
They always run out of ladies' medium.
Line starts behind me.
You stupid, stupid idiot!