Frasier s10e17 Episode Script

F R A S I E R (10x17) - Kenny on the Couch - Well, I think we've got time for one last caller.
-Go ahead, Mindy, I'm listening.
-It's about my mother, Dr.
Crane.
Ever since I got married, she's been yes, the cashmere turtleneck is $39.
-Excuse me, what? -Sorry, I work in catalog sales, and my boss just walked past.
So, anyway, my mom -yes, it's on sale till the end of the month.
.
-Mindy, we are pressed for time.
Hold on, Frasier.
Cashmere for under 40 bucks? I'll take one in black.
In medium.
Wait, is that medium-medium or unrealistic-anorexic-model-medium? -It sounds like you might want to go for the large.
-Oh, really.
And that's our show.
What size will Roz order?.
.
Will she accesorize?.
.
Tune in tomorrow for the exciting conclusion.
Good day, Seattle.
Dynamite show, Doc, one of your best.
Rosalinda, great work on the control panel.
I'm going to start calling you "Control Freak.
" Well, you're probably wondering, "Who put a quarter in him today?" I just got a call from my lawyer.
My divorce: final.
I'm back to my tomcat days.
Lock up your daughters, Seattle! Kenny Daly's on the loose! -You might want to lose the wedding ring, tomcat.
-Oh, yeah.
Time to remove my shackle.
Well, that's weird.
Ooh, that's really stuck! Funny.
That's how my wife described our marriage.
"Stuck!" Well, you're not stuck anymore, are you?! Oh, damn it, damn it! Kenny, Kenny, come on, come on.
Come and sit down.
All right, here.
Take a deep breath.
I'm sorry.
This thing's hit me like a ton of bricks.
The only good news is I'll start getting a check every month.
Kenny, um, divorce can be one of life's most difficult transitions.
Have you considered seeing a professional once or twice a week? I've thought about it, but prostitutes are expensive.
He means a psychiatrist, Kenny.
That is what you meant, right? A shrink? Oh, geez Louise.
I don't think I'd be comfortable talking to a psychiatrist.
Well, I'm a psychiatrist.
You're comfortable talking to me, aren't you? -Are you offering to be my shrink? -No.
-Well, I could probably handle that.
-I was going to refer you to someone.
-Well, can't you help him, Frasier? -Well, I don't know, Roz.
Giving psychotherapy to my employer? It's a bit of a gray area, isn't it? Oh, come on, it's not like he's a real boss.
Yeah, Roz is right.
Come on, Doc, I could use a little help.
Well, I suppose if you'd like to stop by my place and discuss your feelings informally, there'd be no harm in that.
-Thanks, Doc.
And I'm paying you for your time.
-No, no, that's hardly necessary.
No, no, no, I insist, now what do you get? -Kenny, don't worry about it, I'll gladly do it for free.
What do you say we get together Friday night? Thanks, Doc.
I wish my ex-wife was as agreeable as you.
And dead.
Okay, maybe tonight's better.
And the one time I was winning, my dad "accidentally" knocked over the checkerboard.
And he made me pick up all the pieces, too.
Fortunately, my mom was there with an extra piece of cake.
I see.
A controlling, narcissistic father and an overprotective mother.
It has all the earmarks of a classic Oedipus complex.
Well, well.
Old friend, we meet again.
Now, let me tell you, your deep- rooted feelings of castration I'm afraid our time is up.
-Wait, what? This has been fascinating.
I believe we are finally on the brink of discovering a road into some real insights.
I can't tell you, I believe I'm as exhilirated as you are.
-Yeah.
When are we going to talk about my divorce? Ah, you may not know it, Kenny, but we already are.
Now, for out next session, I want you to write a letter telling your father how you feel.
Don't send it, just write it.
-Homework? You never said there was going to be any homework.
-It's all part of the process.
Good night, Kenny.
-But I Geez, I thought that would never end.
Dad, how long have you been in there? -The whole damn time! I went in for a beer, and Kenny came in and started crying and I was trapped.
So how's talking about checkers supposed to help him through a divorce? Dad, the inability to maintain adult relationships often has its roots in parent-child trauma.
-What's your generation gonna do when we're all gone and there's no one left to blame? You know, I really can't tell you how exciting it is to roll up my sleeves again and delve into someone's psyche.
I don't even know where to begin, although you know, I do think it's particularly salient that the father never showed any interest in the things that were most important to his son.
-Sounds good, Fras.
Bye.
Hey, Martin! -Oh, hi, Kenny.
I didn't know you were here.
How's it going? -Okay, I guess.
I have an emotionally crippled father.
You don't say.
So, where you headed? -Uh, gonna grab a beer at McGinty's.
Really? Well, I'm sure dehydrated after all that crying.
You don't say.
You mind if I tag along with you? -Sure, why not? Oh, thanks, Martin.
I really appreciate it.
I bet you were a great dad.
-Oh, geez.
If you want to learn yoga, why do we need some fancy private teacher? There are classes we could take together down at the Y.
Yes, and afterwards there are anti-fungal lotions we can use together, too.
Just give Ahmrit a chance.
If we don't achieve physical and spiritual harmony, the second lesson's free.
Oh, hello, you two.
-Hey, Frasier.
Ooh, Freud, BettelheimJung! Someone's playing with the big boys.
-Yes, well, it's for my patient.
You're seeing patients again? -Well just this one for the past three weeks.
Very challenging case, too.
The man has father issues, any number of neuroses, and a phobia or two.
Sounds to me like you've "hit the crackpot".
I'm sorry.
I heard it at a convention.
-Yes, yes.
So how did you meet this new patient? -Well, I can't really say, Daphne.
You know, doctor-patient confidentiality -Hey, shrink buddy! Hello, Kenny.
How are you? Well, if you'll excuse us, we're off to buy sticky mats.
All right.
Kenny, have a seat, have a seat.
So, uh, how are you feeling? -Like a new man! Last night was just what I needed.
-I can't tell you how gratifying it is to hear that.
Yeah.
Me and your dad shut down McGinty's.
Really? You and Dad? -Yeah, actually, I'm meeting him here for coffee.
Man, is he a hoot.
He made me completely forget about my problems.
Well, good for you! Of course, the object is not to forget about one's problems.
It's to understand them.
Of course, that can take a lot of work.
Yeah, about the work part your dad said something last night that made a lot of sense.
He said I should get out more, and I was thinking, that's going to be tough to do if I'm seeing you twice a week, plus doing all this homework.
I guess what I'm saying is I want to quit.
Kenny, I understand it must be painful to uncover what is a very painful past.
But I must warn you that if you run away from this now, you will only be repeating a pattern that will prolong your unhappiness.
-I'm okay with that.
In these past few sessions, we have uncovered territory that usually takes months to reach! I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I've been on fire! Don't get me wrong, Doc, you've been great.
It's justit's not for me.
Hey, guys! -Hey, hey, it's Party Hearty Marty! Hey, hey, it's, uh -Sir Shots-a-lot.
-Right, hey! Dad, can I have a word with you for a second? -Yeah, sure.
Oh, I'll get us some coffee.
Nice guy.
Doesn't hold his liquor like you think he would.
Did you tell him that he should go out more? -Yeah, what's wrong with that? Well, he is using it as an excuse to quit therapy.
After one night out with you in a bar, the man is ready to throw away three weeks of intense analysis! -Well, Fras, the guy's finally having a little fun.
Don't you want him to be happy? -I am not trying to make him happy.
I am trying to cure his depression! Hey, Marty, does this remind you of anything? Ow, hot, hot! Get the man some water.
And breathe Daphne, that is an amazing Downward Dog.
Thank you.
What about me, Yogi? How does my Downward Dog look? Oh, dear.
Can we straighten these legs? -Oh, I wish.
Congenitally shortened hamstrings are the curse of the Cranes.
Well, let's try a different pose, then.
Slowly place your left leg between your hands, pivot your right heel down, straighten your legs, place your left arm on your ankle, raise your right arm, and triangle pose.
Trikonasan.
Here's a block.
-No, I don't like the block.
I'll use the Use the block.
And breathe, and slowly bring your back leg up into Half-Moon pose.
Now, feel your breath leaving your body like a note being blown from a flute.
Yes, I feel it! I'm a flute, too, Yogi! -Yes, of course you are.
Straighten that leg, Niles.
Straighten it out, straighten it out, there we are.
Let's try it again, Niles.
You can do it.
Straighten that leg.
Marvel Let's bend the finger, Niles.
Isn't this wonderful, Niles? -I love it.
And breathe.
And be completely in this moment.
Shut out the outside world entirely.
Oh, hi, Mom.
I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.
Yes, I'm coming.
I told you, I'm bringing the lentils.
What do you mean again? You love lentils.
Niles, straighten the leg, straighten the leg.
Okay, child's pose.
That's good.
So what if Jerry brings a different dish to every meal? It doesn't make him a god.
Has Jerry achieved inner peace? I'm just asking, Mom: Has Jerry achieved inner peace? I have to take this call.
Would you pleas excuse me? Oh, that was fantastic! I feel so energized! -Oh, you are really good! I hope I'm not holding you back.
-You're doing wonderfully.
He's paying you so much attention.
I think he sees real potential.
You don't have to soothe my ego.
Yoga isn't about competition.
It's about achieving enlightenment and integrating your inner and outer lives.
Hello.
Well, this is awkward.
I believe you know Martin.
Yes, we've already met.
Kenny, there's no reason to feel awkward.
Believe me, I have other things to do with my evening than to share my expertise with someone who couldn't use it.
Now if you'll excuse me.
So are we still on for McGinty's tonight? -Yeah, sure.
And Kenny, I've been thinking about what you've been going through, and I've come up with the answer.
A suede jacket.
Did you hear that? A suede jacket.
I must have missed that lecture at Harvard Medical School.
You look good in it, and women love to feel it.
It's like you're a feast for all the senses.
I used to have a suede coat when I was single.
Hester made me put it away, but I'd pull it out whenever we'd have a fight, and in a minute, she'd be purring like a kitten.
You should break it out again.
-Oh-ho, at my age? It would kill me.
Hey, you got time to do a little shopping? -Sure, I think I've got my good credit card with me.
Leather won't cure your problems, Kenny.
It's a temporary high.
Hey, guys! -Hello.
Oh, Niles, Daphne, hi, come join me.
Two low-fat lattes, a hazelnut biscotti, and And one blueberry scone.
Your brother set such a brisk pace walking over here, I could barely keep up with him.
Daphne, you don't need to do that.
-Why not? Shouldn't I be proud of my husband's brisk pace? Daphne's trying to build up my ego because she outperformed me at yoga.
It's not a competition.
-You see? He's already mastered the teachings.
Spiritually, you're way ahead of me.
Stop it! Frasier, wasn't that your Patient X that was leaving with Dad? Ah, yes, now my ex-Patient X.
Actually, I'd like to discuss it with you if you've got a few minutes.
-Yes, well, coincidentally, I just read a fascinating paper on early termination.
Now, the hypothesis was -I think I'll get something to eat.
Oh, you have something here.
-Something else.
Oh, well, here, try mine.
-Please, just let me go.
So, so whose decision was it to terminate your sessions? -Kenny.
Well, uh, early individuation can stem from anything from transference to delayed adolescent rebellion.
-If only it were that complicated, Niles.
What happened? -Well, it's Dad.
He's been taking Kenny to McGinty's every night.
He's giving him therapy in the form of beer and fun.
Poor Kenny! -I know! I've got to do something.
I-I-I can't just stand by while Dad undermines me.
Oh, just be careful not to turn this into a competition.
As analysts, we have to be above that.
-Hey, Niles! I hear Daphne kicked your ass at yoga.
Oh, yeah? Well, Frasier just lost a patient.
Nice Bhujangasana, Daphne.
And yours is very nice too, Niles.
You're doing so much better this week.
-Thank you.
I just did what you suggested, and imagined myself having the reptilian sinuousness of a lizard scuttling across the desert floor.
I thought I said rain forest.
-You did, but I don't like the damp.
This next move is a little trickier.
I'll demonstrate on Daphne.
First of all, bring up your knees like this.
Now bring your arms back towards your ankles.
Ooh.
I don't think I can do this one, it hurts.
-Oh, don't push.
You should be feeling discomfort, not pain.
If you feel pain, ease yourself gently back towards discomfort.
Is it something like this, Yogi? I'm impressed, Niles.
You know, perhaps one day, you might be able to achieve upward bow - Urdbadanurasana.
Oh, you mean this one? Yes! Oh, remind me to tell Rosa to vacuum the sisal.
I'm speechless, Niles.
I've never seen such a rapid improvement.
How did you do that? Oh, I think I tweaked a muscle on that last pose.
Oh,no, we should put some ice on that.
-Good idea.
I guess we know who's better at yoga now.
-Now, Daphne, there's no better.
It's all about achieving oneness of body and spirit.
Okay, now I need you to take me to the hospital.
What? -I broke my body.
I dislocated my shoulder and I think that one of my ribs has achieved two-ness.
What's going on? -Ahmrit and I were just going to go out and get a chai tea.
Can we get you one? No, thanks.
You're amazing.
You have so much energy.
Ah, well you know what they say.
Quickly, quickly Just imagine the pain leaving your body like a wisp of smoke.
Yes, if you could get the door, I'm starting to hemorrhage.
.
Hello.
-Hey! What are you doing here, Fras? Just thought maybe the three of us could have a little chat.
-Hey, Doc.
This is Trudy.
Ah.
Delighted I'm sure.
-Hey! I'd love to stay and chat, Doc, but me and Trudy have a dinner date with the Colonel.
Well, if you think you're ready for that.
-Well, I'm not hungry now, but I probably will be when we get there.
See you guys later.
-Bye.
Nice to meet 'ya.
-Likewise, I'm sure.
Have a great time! He's doomed.
-What are you talking about? He scored, and she's a cheap date.
Oh, Dad, please, he is not ready for a relationship.
How could you let him do something like this? Don't blame me for that, it was the jacket.
He wasn't here 10 minutes, before she wanted to touch it.
-You know what, all you're doing is allowing him to wallow in his state of denial.
And what if she rejects him, hmm? The man already has abandonment issues.
-Oh, will you cut out the psychological mumbo-jumbo? Let the guy have a good time.
-What did you just say? I said let the guy have some fun.
-No, before that.
You said "psychological mumbo-jumbo.
" So, that's how you characterize my life's work? I'm just saying that I don't think therapy is for everybody.
Like Kenny he just needed to loosen up.
-Oh, really? So tell me, Dr.
Party-Hearty-Marty.
Who, in your expert opinion, does need therapy? Well Hitler.
Hitler? -Yes.
And that woman with all the different personalities, um Sybil.
Hitler.
And Sybil.
Anyone else? No.
Great! An entire science devoted to Hitler and Sybil.
Do you believe thatthat Niles and I have been wasting our lives? Do you think Mom wasted her life? -Now, you calm down, Frasier.
I'm just saying that you overcomplicate things.
Yes, Kenny needed to talk out some problems, but he didn't need to analyze every moment of his childhood.
That's where it gets into the mumbo-jumbo.
I'm just trying to get to the root of his problems.
-You know what, I think you needed to give therapy more than he needed to get it.
-And you know what I think? I think I'm finished listening to you! All right, fine, maybe I did enjoy it.
Look, it's what I was trained to do, it's what I love to do, and I still think I was doing Kenny some good.
-Well, Frasier, you know, Kenny's not the only one with mental problems.
And what's that supposed to mean? -It means you can start seeing other patients.
Oh, right, right.
Well, I've thought about that.
Why not, if you love it? You know, perhaps I could start seeing people a couple of nights a week.
I could even convert Daphne's old room into an office.
Well, if you do, while they're waiting, they're watching what I want to watch.
Hey, guys.
-Kenny! What happened? Are you all right? -I don't think Trudy and I are a fit.
When we got to the parking lot, her boyfriend pushed me down and took my jacket.
Aw, I'm sorry.
-I feel like such a loser.
No, you're not a loser.
And if you need to talk about this Frasier's pretty good at this sort of thing.
Well, Kenny, I'll tell you what.
Whenever you're ready, okay? For the time being, why don't you let a couple of buddies get you a beer, okay? Thanks.
You know it's too bad that Trudy was just setting me up to get mugged because up to that point, we were really cooking.
Well, here's to dating!