Big Bang Theory s12e23 Episode Script

1 Previously, on The Big Bang Theory Guess I'm your new neighbor.
Penny.
- Oh.
Leonard.
Sheldon.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
That's where I sit.
Howard Wolowitz.
Caltech Department of Applied Physics.
Penny? Leonard.
Raj? WOLOWITZ: He speaks English-- he just can't speak to women.
LEONARD: Our babies will be smart and beautiful.
Finally caught a break.
Soft kitty You know my girlfriend, Bernadette.
MRS.
WOLOWITZ (calls): Howard, I'm hungry! Warm kitty (screams) Little ball of fur I'm Amy Farrah Fowler.
You're Sheldon Cooper.
Bazinga.
(tires squeal, horn honks) (gasping, yelling) Welcome to the premiere episode of Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags.
I'm going up in space.
Technically, I'm an astronaut.
Oy vey! You're talking to me.
I am.
(gasps) Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski We now pronounce you husband and wife.
Amy? Howard? Angry Amy? I don't want you to say it just because social convention dictates that you I love you, too.
Will you marry me? (softly): Yes.
(chuckles) We did it! Well, I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.
I wonder which one's Halley.
(baby bawling loudly) Will you marry me? WOLOWITZ: That means positive? (gasps) Super asymmetry, that's it! AMY: Our paper was right.
- We did it! - We did it? We did it! Six times ten to the eighth atoms Of a radium in a lead jar Six times ten to the eighth atoms of radium If the half-life of radium should happen to pass Three times ten to the eighth atoms Of a radium in a lead jar PENNY: Really hope you're almost to zero.
No, see, that's the beauty of half-lives: it's impossible to determine when you'll arrive at zero.
It's like "Wheels on the Bus" if the bus had an unknowable number of parts.
Yeah, we're gonna need more coffee.
Yep.
I'm with you.
Leonard, coffee? Black and strong, like Luke Cage.
I'm too tired to even be disturbed by that.
Sheldon? Mm, absolutely not, no.
The Nobel committee will be making the calls to inform the winners at any minute, so the only drug I need is the endorphins pumping through my brain in anticipation of our victory.
Well, technically, anticipation wouldn't be mediated by endorphins as much as dopamine, but, you know, you've been up all night, so I'll give you that one.
Really? The second he stops talking? Well should we wake him up? Well, he did say if he fell asleep, we were allowed to slap him awake.
Oh, boy.
Wait a minute.
Why do you get to do it? 'Cause I called it.
Well, you can't just call it.
You have to earn it.
Oh, and you've earned it? No one has earned it more than me.
(Amy clearing throat) You have your whole life to smack him around.
This is my time.
Fine.
Don't miss.
It's not a volleyball.
I can handle it.
Oh, wait.
Hang on.
When you're old, you are gonna want a record of this.
Oh, oh, yeah.
Do it in slo-mo.
I want to see his cheeks ripple.
Ready go.
(ringtone playing) (gasps) It's happening! Unknown caller.
It's got to be them.
Okay, put it on speaker.
- Hello? - Hi.
MAN: Hello.
This is Sweden calling.
Is this Dr.
Cooper and Dr.
Fowler? - Yes.
- Yeah.
Congratulations.
It is my pleasure to inform you that you've won the Nobel Prize in being suckers! His Swedish accent was very convincing.
(ringtone playing) (gasps) This is it! What do you want, Howard? We were just calling to see if you'd heard yet.
We haven't.
But thank you for getting up so early to call.
That was very thoughtful.
Oh, please.
We have two little kids.
We've been up for an hour.
WOLOWITZ: Did anyone get to slap Sheldon? No.
Okay, well, call us when you hear.
All right, now what? Oh, why don't we play a game to pass the time? Here.
Uh, I am thinking of a number.
Hint: it's a cube of a cube of a prime.
There's an infinite number of possibilities.
What, you got somewhere to be? (ringtone playing) Oh.
That's me.
Hello? Yes, this is Dr.
Fowler.
I see.
Okay, thank you.
We won.
(gasps) Congratulations! Oh, my God! - We did it.
-I know.
Can you believe it? (gasps) That's a good point.
What if I'm dreaming? (yelps) We won the Nobel Prize! (screaming) The Big Bang Theory 12x23 The Change Constant Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait! The Earth began to cool The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools We built the Wall We built the pyramids Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery That all started with a big bang Bang! And how does it feel to be married to a Nobel Prize winner? You tell me.
Oh.
Amy-centric-- what a fun way to look at it.
I think so.
You would.
That makes sense.
(phone vibrates) Ooh.
Aw.
It's a congratulations text from my meemaw.
(phone vibrates) Ooh.
Oh, and there's one from my mom.
(phone vibrates) And my sister.
(phone vibrates) Oh, and my brother.
(phone vibrates) And my brother's ex-wife.
(phone vibrates) My brother's other ex-wife.
Boy, they don't tell you when you win a Nobel it chews up your phone battery.
(phone vibrates) AMY: Oh, that's me.
It's CVS.
My prescription's ready.
(phone vibrates) Oh, and also my dad.
He says congratulations and he loves me.
Nothing about me? (phone vibrates) Oh.
Oh, it's your dad.
I'm good.
You know, when you think about it, now that we're Nobel Prize winners, our names will be linked together forever.
We're married.
Our names are already linked together forever.
Oh, please.
That's just a piece of paper.
This is a piece of paper and a medal.
AMY: It's weird.
I don't really feel different, but I guess our lives will never be the same.
Oh, I don't know.
We're going to work like always.
I still put my pants on both legs at a time.
One day that's gonna end very badly.
(reporters shouting) Congratulations.
How does it feel? Okay, w-we're happy to answer your questions, Just, um, one at a time, please? REPORTER: Dr.
Cooper! Is Dr.
Cooper coming back? No.
Next question.
(reporters shouting) Was it your left hand or your right hand? Right.
Spit actually flew out of his mouth.
SIEBERT: Hey, fellas.
Can you do me a favor? Do we have a choice? Ha-ha! No.
Sheldon and Amy are now officially superstars, and the press will be reaching out to their family and friends for comment.
So that we're all on the same page, the word we're gonna use to describe them is "quirky.
" And not quirky.
More like quirky.
So not Mr.
and Mrs.
Wackadoodle? SIEBERT: Ho-ho-ho! You bitter, envious little man.
Thank you so much.
And what do we call that? - Quirky.
- Quirky.
- Quirky.
Dr.
Cooper, can I get a minute of your time? Hello? Hey.
- Can I help you? - Uh, yeah, actually.
Um, I had an appointment to interview Dr.
Cooper about the Nobel.
Hang on a second.
Sheldon? Sorry, he's not here.
Damn.
I've got a deadline.
I don't know if it helps you at all, but I'm his best friend in the whole world.
Really? And an astronaut.
Come on, you can buy me a cup of coffee, and I'll tell you about both.
(Amy sobbing) Everyone okay in there? Go away! Amy? Raj, please, not now.
Hey, what's wrong? My picture's all over the Internet, and I look terrible.
No.
Let me see.
Well, that is an unfortunate angle.
But who cares? You just won the Nobel.
You should be proud of this moment.
I know I shouldn't care about how I look, and I never thought I did.
It-It's stupid and shallow, but I just can't help it.
Am I really this frumpy? No.
No, you are a beautiful woman.
By the way, if you're not happy with those pictures, then make some changes.
Get a haircut, new clothes, new glasses, big glasses No glasses-- then you won't be able to see those pictures.
Sounds expensive.
Excuse me, i-if I'm not mistaken, the Nobel comes with a substantial cash prize.
What were you gonna spend it on? Hadn't really thought about it.
Sheldon's got his eyes on some new Dockers.
Come on.
Do something for yourself.
Well, I suppose I could get a haircut.
And some makeup and a new wardrobe and a little thank you gift for your shopping buddy if we see something he likes.
Come on.
Where are we going? Beverly Hills, where the things he likes are.
Dinner ready? Not unless you cooked.
Why is this article about Sheldon all about you? Let me see.
Oh, good, they used my NASA picture.
Why does it say that you're his best friend? Leonard's his best friend.
No.
Leonard has always been kind of a monkey butler.
Whenever Sheldon got into a scrape, I was his go-to guy.
(chuckles) When did he get into a scrape? You're kidding, right? W-- Remember when he had a panic attack 'cause his hand got stuck in a jar of olives? I was the one who told him to let go of the olives.
Please, that doesn't make you his best friend.
(chuckles) You know, that reporter asked me if I could put him in touch with Amy's best friend.
That's Penny.
(singsongy): Doesn't have to be.
Hmm.
What kind of tea is appropriate for winning a Nobel Prize and now everything is changing and you feel unmoored from reality? I don't know.
Earl Grey? You know, this is something I've wanted my whole life.
But I guess I never considered how everything would be different.
Buddy, I-I know it all feels overwhelming right now, but I promise you, things will settle down.
There's no Earl Grey! You filthy liar! (knocking at door) Hey, is Penny here? No.
Why? I wanted to show her my latest creation.
I give you Dr.
Amy Farrah Fowler.
Wow.
Amy, you look amazing.
Thank you.
Sheldon, what do you think? I like you better the way you were.
But she looks beautiful! Classic lines, colors that complement her skin tone, and hair that goes from "office" to "on the town" in minutes.
I don't care.
Put it back.
I like the way I look.
Well, I don't! (door opens) My fault.
I was out of Earl Grey.
(clears throat) Sheldon, that was really rude.
I'm sorry.
Amy is the one constant I can count on, and now she's changing.
It's just a haircut and some clothes.
No, it's the last straw! I can't take any more! (elevator bell dings) Can you believe it? They finally fixed the elevator.
This is a nightmare.
What's with him? He won a Nobel Prize, and his wife looks amazing.
Oh.
Yeah, got it.
(panting) (gasping, panting) How did you get down here? The elevator.
It's really fast.
I-I need to be alone right now.
Don't try to follow me.
All right.
You need a ride? That'd be great.
Thank you.
I should've seen this coming.
Oh, stop.
You're allowed to get a haircut.
I know.
But I should've done it gradually.
You know, like maybe 300 tiny haircuts over a ten-year period.
Okay, you need to focus on the positive.
You won a Nobel Prize.
I slapped Sheldon.
A lot of dreams came true today.
You know, you're right.
This is a huge day for me, and I'm allowed to enjoy it without worrying how it's going to affect my husband.
Is it me or did it just get fierce in here? All this change is just too much.
The reporters, the attention at work, and now even Amy's changed.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Slow down.
- I'm playing a drinking game.
Every time you say the word "change," I take a slug.
Are you gonna be able to drive me home? Mm.
Not unless you change the subject.
Huh.
Now I said it.
Meh.
Hmm.
You know, you're the only person who could win the biggest prize in science and still be upset about it.
It's just all the times I thought about winning, I never thought about how it would ch-- affect my life.
I'm sorry, I'm genuinely concerned about your liver.
(chuckles): Okay.
Fine, I'll stop playing.
You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same, but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Oh, you are a mean drunk.
I'm serious.
You have a ton of friends, you got married, moved into a new apartment, you wore a baseball hat that one time.
Heck, you've had sex almost as many times as I have fingers.
More.
W By this many.
You dog! It was the Avengers trailer.
Oh.
Mm-hmm.
You know, I've grown, too.
I used to be the bartender back there.
- That's true.
And now there is a completely different woman who botched my drink order.
How hard is 65% Coke, 35% Diet Coke? Well, judging by the look on her face, it's at least one percent saliva.
I do take your point.
You know, you're also married, you have a successful career, you no longer dress like you're trying to attract sailors by the wharf.
So, I guess the only thing that actually stays the same is that things are always changing.
Interesting.
So you're saying the inevitability of change might be a universal constant.
Well, there's a little more to it than that, but, yeah, sure.
Oh.
Hey, look, that's Bernadette.
I can't tell you how many times Dr.
Fowler was gonna give up and I would say to her, "Amy, as your best friend, I'm not gonna let you quit.
" Okay, I'm drinking again.
I'll join you.
Waitress, uh, 95% Hawaiian Punch, five percent vodka.
WOLOWITZ: Let me tell you about the time Mr.
Nobel Laureate wanted olives (laughs) This is a good one.
You know what, 90/10! You know, I like the way my hair looks.
I'm done tiptoeing around him.
We're all guilty of it.
But why? 'Cause we were afraid to upset him.
Which happens anyway.
Well, that's over.
I'm-I'm done enabling him.
Like, this is his spot and-and the thermostat has to be set to his comfort level, even though he doesn't even live here anymore and I'm always chilly.
Is that why you wear a hoodie all the time? Why would-- Yes! To accommodate Sheldon! And what-what about this-this thing? Why is it here? I'll tell you why.
Because it was here when I moved in, and, for no earthly reason, he forbade me to touch it.
Well, if you don't like it, get rid of it.
Put it in the closet.
You know what, I will.
I bet that's the reason.
Hang on.
What do you think? Want to give it a try? (elevator bell dings) Well, you know, the elevator did work when I moved into the building.
So going up and down the stairs was a change, which means this would actually be a return to the status quo.
- But, conversely, I think - Get in! SHELDON: This is wild.
Carbon.
Hydrogen.
Carbon.
Carbon.
And last but not least, carbon.
This might be the glue talking, but that was a very pleasurable 139 and a half hours.
Agreed.
What kind of DNA is this, anyway? I was trying to design the genetic code of an advanced race of human being.
One of my rare failures, actually.
What went wrong? The balls kept sticking to my pants.
Let's just let it dry.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Hey, babe.
Oh, don't slam the Don't slam the (gasps) That was exhilarating.
- You pick up your dresses? AMY: Yep.
The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out.
Best day of my life.
What about the day you met me? I stand by my statement.
Well, thank you guys so much for the clothes and the shoes, the plane tickets.
You've been so generous.
Well, it's important that all of our friends get to share this moment with us.
And then for years to come, you can tell others you had a front-row seat to history.
Although, technically, I think your seats are in the second row.
Do you want to go back to the apartment and see me try on my dress? Shouldn't I see it for the first time at the Nobel ceremony? It's not a wedding.
Okay.
Well, give me a minute to think of another reason I don't want to see it.
How about this-- you can practice your acceptance speech while I try on the dress.
Ah, great.
You can help me whittle it down to 90 minutes.
Was Amy suspicious when they had to let your dress out? No.
She was so happy, she didn't even question it.
Someone's gonna figure it out.
Why don't we just tell people? No, it's too early.
I haven't even wrapped my head around it.
- I have.
My head is wrapped.
- Yeah, well if something else had been wrapped, we wouldn't be in this situation.
Excuse me, but if I recall, you're the one who went out drinking with Sheldon, then came home and attacked me.
Attacked you? I said, "Do you wanna?" Yeah.
- I was helpless.
-Uh-huh.
So (laughs): do you wanna? - Well, I can't get more pregnant.
- Mm-hmm.
We'll see about that.
The Big Bang Theory 12x24 The Stockholm Syndrome Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started Wait! The Earth began to cool The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools We built the Wall We built the pyramids Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery That all started with a big bang Bang! Now, Michael, Mommy and Daddy are going away for a couple days, so if you're gonna say your first words, you got to do it now or wait till we get back.
WOLOWITZ: Somebody just peed in the big girl potty.
BERNADETTE: Oh, I'm so proud! It was her, right? Yes.
You still feel good about leaving them with Stuart and Denise for a couple days? I guess.
I just hope we don't miss Michael's first words.
Or Stuart's last words.
You realize it's been years since we've got away just the two of us.
I know.
I can't wait.
Fancy hotel room.
The big bed.
Yeah.
We're gonna sleep our asses off.
You really think walking her is gonna help me meet girls? Cinnamon is chick bait.
Good.
'Cause I'm not.
Just remember, you're in charge.
Don't let her pull you.
That seems like an unnecessary thing to say.
And please, if you have any problems, any questions, call me immediately, okay? She's my baby.
It shouldn't come up, but just in case: where could I buy a dog that looks exactly like her? Kidding.
If she dies, I'll just tell you.
Ready? Oh.
Hang on.
Go.
"Your majesties, members of the Nobel Academy-- "when I was a young boy growing up in East Texas "I always knew I'd wind up on this stage, "and everybody who said I wouldn't looks "pretty darn foolish right now.
I'm talking about you, high school science teacher Mr.
Hubert Givens" Sheldon, Sheldon.
Why are you talking so fast? I'm trying to get my speech down to 90 minutes.
Nobody's gonna be able to understand a word you're saying.
Welcome to my life.
I think you need to do some editing, like maybe cut out all that stuff about your childhood.
Are you kidding? Growing up in the backwoods of East Texas is what makes me warm and relatable.
Well, what about all these pages calling out everyone who said you wouldn't succeed? I told them all they would rue the day.
How is it gonna make me look if the day finally comes, and they're not filled with rue? Sheldon, this isn't about ruing.
This is about humbly accepting a great honor.
Amy, we won the Nobel Prize in Physics.
Humility is for people who win the goofy Nobels like Literature, Economics and Peace.
Please tell me that's not in your speech.
Oh.
I can cut it, but it's the only joke I have.
All right, bagels down.
Before we head to the airport, I'd like to go over a few things.
(others groaning) From the moment we step off the plane, each and every one of you is an ambassador for Amy and myself.
(quietly): I told you these tickets weren't free.
As such, your behavior must reflect the highest standards.
Uh, Raj.
Bagel down.
If my blood sugar drops and I get bitchy, it's on you.
Amy, why don't you kick us off.
Thank you.
"The challenging climate of Scandinavia "has left its mark on the Swedish character.
"These dour, latter-day Vikings "are slow to warm up to strangers, "but if you follow a few easy steps, a Swede can be your friend for life.
" SHELDON: "Number one, "in Sweden, punctuality is taken very seriously.
"In other words, the loosey-goosey attitude in Helsinki will not fly in Stockholm.
" AMY: "Two, at the beginning "and end of all business and social meetings, "shake hands with everyone present-- men, women and children.
" Yes, you're all encouraged to pair off and practice this once we're in the air and the seat belt sign is off.
Yes, Penny? Oh.
Do we have to go? Yes.
And a reminder, Penny, there's free alcohol in business class-- don't abuse it.
Relax.
I'm not gonna drink.
Why? You pregnant? (laughs): Wha? No.
No, I just, you know, I don't like to drink when I fly.
Please.
I've seen you drink in the shower.
You guys have showered together? Sometimes you're just ech.
That wasn't a no.
(chuckles) SHELDON: All right, well, we should head out now if we're gonna get to the airport six hours before boarding.
Excuse me.
Hello? What did we just learn about the end of business meetings? Oh, my God.
(others groaning) (all grumbling) Yeah, great.
Whatever.
Uh-huh.
Go on.
You first.
Go.
AMY: Wait.
BERNADETTE: Help me! Oh.
Help me! Oh, wait.
Come here.
- We got this.
- Yeah, get in, get in, get in.
(yelling) Hang on.
I've-I've got an idea.
(bell dings) Well done.
You know, you're proving to be an invaluable part of my entourage.
Cool.
Yeah? - How you doing? - Fine.
Why? Well, this is the furthest we've ever been away from the kids.
I was just checking to see if you're okay.
I'm on my second Jack Reacher.
I'm doing great.
Good.
Me, too.
I was just looking at the map.
Couldn't help thinking: we're here and they're there, and if anything happened, we'd have to go here to get all the way back there.
Why are you trying to freak me out? This is our vacation.
I thought we should do things together.
Howard, the kids are okay.
How do you know that? I just know.
A mother knows.
So what, now the Force is with you? Let's see.
This is not the woman you want to annoy.
- Howard.
Howard.
- What? You see the woman sitting next to me? What about her? Is this her? Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Shh! Be cool.
- No, that's not her.
- Okay.
How about now? Uh-oh.
That's the fourth time she's been to the bathroom in the last two hours.
So? Her breakfast was binding.
I made sure of that.
- So? - So she clearly has some sort of stomach distress.
If it's viral, we're all susceptible.
She's probably just airsick.
Yeah, but what if she's not? What if we get what she has? What if we infect the King of Sweden? That's how wars start.
All right, that's it, this is Outbreak and she's the monkey.
(quietly): Wait.
Stop.
Be reasonable.
Leonard we need to do something about your wife.
- What's the matter? - She is clearly sick, and she's gonna take us all down with her.
She's not sick, Sheldon.
She is, and I'm gonna catch it, and it's gonna ruin the greatest day of my life.
I promise you're not going to get what she has.
What's going on? (gasps) Unclean! Unclean! What? He thinks you're sick.
Oh.
Should we tell him? Well, if we don't, he might try and jump out of the plane.
- Yeah.
Doesn't answer my question.
Tell me what? (sighs) I'm pregnant, Sheldon.
You're right, I can't catch that.
(groans) Good news, Amy.
She's just pregnant.
Are you kidding me? You just found out that a woman who has loved and cared for you for 12 years is pregnant, and all you can say is you're relieved that she's not gonna get you sick? There's no need for a recap.
I was there.
- Why didn't you tell me? - I didn't tell anybody.
I'm not anybody.
I'm your best friend.
- What's going on? - She's pregnant.
That's fantastic! Why didn't you tell me? She didn't tell me, either.
But I'm her best friend.
(chuckles) We'll get into that later.
What happened to "I'm never gonna have kids"? It was an accident.
I went out drinking with Sheldon.
(gasps) Oh, my gosh.
We're sister wives? No.
Then I went home and slept with Leonard.
- While fantasizing about - Leonard.
And a little Idris Elba.
- I mean, ah - Oh, yeah.
What would you like me to say? How about congratulating us? Are congratulations even in order? I didn't think Penny wanted children.
Well, she didn't, now she does.
And just so you know, we weren't gonna tell anybody so we wouldn't upstage your big day.
Oh, please, you couldn't upstage us.
We won a Nobel Prize.
Any idiot can have a baby.
Hey.
What's going on? Case in point.
You are a selfish jerk.
To hell with you and your Nobel Prize.
I found her boarding pass in her purse.
It's totally her.
Hi, Stuart, just checking in.
Seeing if everything's okay.
Oh, yeah, we're having fun.
Me, Halley and Denise played hide-and-seek all day.
- Oh, that's nice.
STUART: Yeah.
I found Denise right away.
Where was Halley hiding? Uh, the important thing is she's not there now.
Okay, so, everyone's happy and healthy? Well, that depends.
What's that mean? Uh, how many teeth did Halley have when you left? All of them.
Oh, yeah, that's-that's what I was afraid of.
What happened? Um, well, all right.
Um, Michael had a little fever last night.
Michael had a fever? Do you want to hear about Halley or not? What happened, Stuart? He was running a little fever, nothing to worry about.
And Halley, bless her heart, wanted to bring him his boo-boo bear, so she climbed over the safety rail and took a little tumble down the stairs.
She fell down the stairs?! (stammers) She rolled down the stairs, laughing the whole time.
(chuckles) Anyway, when she got to the bottom, there was a tooth missing.
Oh, Stuart! She's fine! She thought it was funny.
Did you at least save it for the tooth fairy? No, we couldn't find it.
We have a theory about where it is, but it'll take six to eight hours to confirm.
Speaking of which, where do you keep the spaghetti strainer? Come on, you didn't seriously expect him to react like a normal human being.
No, but still, a-after all these years, after all the crap I've put up with, you'd think just this once he'd care about someone else's feelings.
- Oh, my God! - What? Pickled herring.
Who knew how good it was! Really? Sounds gross.
Looks gross.
Smells gross.
It's delicious! (knock on door) Ooh, that might be my salted cod! What? Sheldon has something he'd like to say.
SHELDON: I'm sorry I didn't react appropriately.
You and Penny are bringing new life into the world.
Congratulations.
I can't wait to meet it.
- "It"? - That's a gender-neutral pronoun.
If you're offended, take it up with the English language.
Oh, good, you're here.
Listen, we're thinking maybe we should go back to L.
A.
- Why? - We just can't be this far away from the kids.
Bernie's having a meltdown, and, frankly, so am I.
SHELDON: Yeah, well, pull it together.
This is a big day for me.
(scoffs) Yeah, I wasn't sure what to do.
Now I am.
We're going home.
- We'll join you.
PENNY: Oh, wait.
Do I get a vote in this? They'll have pickled herring on the plane.
Bye-bye.
Well, I hate to say it, but I think everyone is being incredibly selfish.
Well, you would be the authority on the subject.
What does that mean? Sheldon, no one is happier than I am to win the Nobel.
But it's not more important than our friends.
How can you call them friends when they're abandoning us? They're abandoning us because you broke their hearts.
- I didn't mean to.
- I know! You never mean to.
That's the only reason people tolerate you! Does that include you? Sometimes, yeah.
(Penny retching) (toilet flushes) (Penny groans) Okay, that's it for the fish.
We'll be back with the meatballs after a short word from our sponsor.
Oh, thank you.
(groans) Leonard, I can't go home.
- I have to be there for Amy.
- Yeah.
I was thinking that, too.
As angry as I am at Sheldon, I still want to see him win that medal.
It's so strange.
No matter how thoughtless and selfish he is, I still love him.
If you think about it, he has kind of been our practice kid.
Like when you make pancakes and the first one comes out a little wonky.
The university prefers "quirky.
" (chuckles) (phone rings) Hello.
Hey.
It's Howard.
Oh, us, too.
- Wait, what? - They're gonna stay.
The kids are fine.
Bernie's parents took over.
Really? Oh, poor little guy.
Is Michael okay? Yeah, it's Stuart.
Bernie's dad gave him a hug, cracked a rib.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll meet you in the lobby.
How long is it gonna take you to get ready? Oh, I just need, like, five or ten minutes.
- Really? - No.
What is wrong with you?! ANNOUNCER: And in the field of physics, Dr.
Amy Farrah Fowler and Dr.
Sheldon Cooper for their discovery of super-asymmetry.
(whistling) (whoops) (cheers) (whooping) Just to be clear, this isn't a date.
Yeah, I know.
Then why are you holding my hand? Thank you, your majesties.
Thank you to the Nobel Committee.
We are deeply honored.
I would just like to take this moment to say to all the young girls out there who dream about science as a profession: go for it.
It is the greatest job in the world.
And if anybody tells you you can't, don't listen.
And now, speaking of not listening, my husband, Dr.
Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon.
What? Did you finish? Great job.
Thank you, Dr.
Fowler.
I have a very long and somewhat self-centered speech here.
But I'd like to set it aside.
PENNY: Yeah! WOLOWITZ: Way to go! (whoops) Because this honor doesn't just belong to me.
I wouldn't be up here if it weren't for some very important people in my life.
Beginning with my mother, father, meemaw, brother and sister.
And my other family, who I'm so happy to have here with us.
Is that Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I was under a misapprehension that my accomplishments were mine alone.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
I have been encouraged, sustained, inspired and tolerated not only by my wife, but by the greatest group of friends anyone ever had.
I'd like to ask them to stand.
Dr.
Rajesh Koothrappali.
Dr.
Bernadette Rostenkowski Wolowitz.
Astronaut Howard Wolowitz.
And my two dearest friends in the world, Penny Hofstadter and Dr.
Leonard Hofstadter.
I was there the moment Leonard and Penny met.
He said to me that their babies would be smart and beautiful.
And now that they're expecting, I have no doubt that that will be the case.
Thanks, Sheldon.
I-I haven't told my parents yet, but thanks.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
Don't tell anyone that last thing.
That's a secret.
Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Penny, Leonard, I apologize if I haven't been the friend you deserve.
But I want you to know in my way, I love you all.
And I love you.
Thank you.
(applause) Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state Then nearly 14 billion years ago Expansion started Wait The Earth began to cool The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools We built a Wall, we built the pyramids Math, Science, History Unraveling the mystery That all started with a big bang.