Bob's Burgers s13e22 Episode Script

1
LOUISE: Hi, everyone.
Uh, thank you for coming.
I mean, you had to.
(CHUCKLES) It's school.
So, uh, here's my project.
This is a plane. But don't
think of it as a plane.
Think of it as a superpower.
'Cause in 1920, if you were brave enough
to fly one of these things,
to even go up in one, you
were kind of a superhero.
WAYNE: That's true for pretty
much all new technology.
- It was the same with cars.
- Oh, no talking.
Thank you, Wayne. (SIGHS)
Okay, now you've thrown the timing off.
Resetting. Tina? Gene?
TINA: Whoops. Dropped the cloud.
LOUISE: (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Um
how was everyone's Mother's Day?
Did you all spend it
working on your presentations
like I did? Get your moms to help?
Some present, right?
The only present they
got was a present-ation.
- (RUDY CHUCKLES)
- Thanks, Rudy.
You're welcome. Oh,
sorry. You said no talking.
And your hero report
should be multimedia.
That means multi of media.
You'll have a week to work on it. Rudy.
Does it have to be someone from history?
'Cause one time I saw a guy
- spin a basketball on his finger.
- Uh
From history. You're all
about to go to the library.
Your hero will be someone
in the biography section.
If your hero is not in
the biography section,
then they're not your hero.
Let's line up.
LOUISE: So, the subject of my report
gets to go on her first flight
as a passenger when she's 23 years old.
And she decides right then and there
she wants to be a pilot.
WAYNE: Oh. Avoid.
More of a manufactured
publicity stunt than a hero.
Wayne, I have a lot of
feedback for you right now.
My personal space invaded.
Your breathing it's too much.
And your words are bad ones.
Just trying to be helpful.
Wright Brothers
They invented airplanes.
Lindbergh is a legitimate pilot.
She's a legitimate pilot.
She's sitting in an airplane
- right here and
- Yeah. Exactly.
She's sitting in an airplane.
For a picture. Publicity stunt.
And she's on the cover of
a book that's about her.
- She's
- Jacques Cousteau. Kinda cool.
He's, like, the original Aquaman.
I considered him. Edmund Hillary
First man to reach the
top of Mount Everest.
I'd let that happen. Hero-wise.
Uh, this is all in the
explorer-pilot-pioneer area,
if that's what you're interested in.
(SIGHS) I'm getting
less and less interested.
Still feel pretty good about my choice.
Neil Armstrong. First man
on the moon, of course,
but there's so much more there.
Armstrong's grade bait, too, you know?
Automatic A-minus.
Do a slideshow, put
that Ken Burns effect on,
and that is an "A" all day.
I'm gonna get reading.
Where are you sitting?
Oh, I set up over there.
Okay, good to know. I'm going this way.
Really? Those are the worst tables here.
- I don't know if they're even level.
- Okay, thank you, Wayne!
What?
- OTHERS: Nothing.
- Nothing. I'm just not sure
I've ever seen you with your
chin in a book like that.
- Nose.
- Yeah, who knows?
- What?
- What?
Amelia Earhart, huh?
It's for school. I guess she's my hero?
You don't sound so sure.
That phrase is usually
said with more conviction.
Like, "Mrs. Doubtfire is my hero!"
I didn't know who to choose.
I think she's a great choice.
She did all kinds of cool stuff.
And the mystery of what
happened on her final flight.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- I haven't gotten
to the end yet, so no spoilers.
- Yup. Mm-hmm.
- Yup. - Oh.
What? What were you just saying?
- Huh? Wha? - I can't remember.
- Nothing.
Uh, here's a spoiler
- Mother's Day is coming up.
- Aah!
We we-we know. Of course.
We know that like
crazy. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
Anyway, headline
Don't buy me anything.
Here's what I want
in-home family spa.
That's it. Nothing fancy.
Just one of you rubbing my back
while one of you paints my toenails.
And, also, no peeing on the
toilet seat on Mother's Day.
Just for one day, I
want to not sit on pee.
I We can do that.
I-I think we can do that.
- Gene.
- Dad.
LOUISE: Amelia Earhart gets
her pilot's license in 1923.
In 1932, already famous
but determined to prove
herself as a pioneer,
she flies solo across the Atlantic
The first woman and only the
second person ever to do this.
Her most ambitious goal, however
To be the first woman to
fly around the world
This goal, she would never achieve.
Her voice on the radio during
the final part of that journey
would be the last anyone
heard from her, ever.
Yeah. I know.
Imagine my surprise
when I found that out.
- What?!
- No, Louise,
you'll fall too far behind.
Stick with the one you picked.
Um, I'm just I'm not sure my hero
is as heroic as I'd like her to be.
Been there. But, still, no.
Great, great, great, great.
What were you guys talking about?
- Are you having hero trouble?
- Ha-ha-ha-ha. No.
Actually, we're in talks
for a sequel to my report.
And franchise rights, you know?
Merch. So, uh, yeah,
I'm doing fine. (CHUCKLES)
- BOB: Hey. Cool plane.
- Yup.
Where's a cool plane?
Oh, yeah, look at that.
- Pretty red.
- Yes, it's very red.
I want to see something that's red.
We talking red stuff?
Oh, my God, people, please.
Okay. Sheesh.
I'm gonna go get something
red that's nice to me.
(QUIETLY): Listen, I have
an idea for Mother's Day.
Wait, why are you crouching?
- I like it.
- Yeah.
It's just now I have to crouch lower.
It's fine. Anyway, she
said she wants a massage,
but we're so bad at that.
- Yeah. - That's true.
- Yeah.
A professional massage
person is too expensive,
but I found out if you
hire a massage student,
it's much cheaper. Like, much.
And they can come here. So,
should we surprise your mom
with a real massage from someone
who's almost a professional?
- That sounds nice. - Yeah.
- Good job, Dad.
- And that deep crouch, too.
- I know.
Okay, then. That's the plan.
Uh, hey, Lin. Uh, nice wine.
- Thank you.
- So, are you sure
you don't want any help
with your homework, Louise?
No, I'm fine.
It doesn't matter. She was a cool lady
and then she disappeared,
and I printed out
some pictures at school
and I'm gonna put 'em on something
and it'll be a solid C-plus
and I'm great with that.
I love it. (QUIETLY): Okay, she's gone.
- What'd you say?
- Nothing.
The answer to that is five.
- Five.
- Correct.
- He didn't raise his hand.
- LABONZ: Geography.
- What's this? - South Ameri
- South America.
- Pretty sure.
- Correct.
- But I-I said it first!
- I said it louder.
You can't just say things louder.
I can. I'm doing it right now.
- Well, I'll talk louder than you.
- Talking!
Talking! Loud, loud, loud!
Stop making your mouth bigger!
I will rip off your arms and
I will scream into your face!
- Hero reports. Who's ready?
- Me!
I'm ready!
Louise, please. Ms.
Labonz, may I present
astronaut Neil Armstrong!
(SCREAMING)
(PANTING)
I got to get a better grade than Wayne
on this hero thing.
And maybe remove his mouth?
We'll start with the better grade.
Okay, if we make a movie,
like, a serious drama,
we could use models for the plane shots.
Gene, you have model planes?
Have you ever once heard me say
"I'm off to work on
my model planes now"?
That's fine. We'll figure it out.
Maybe we'll do it in
CG. Tina, can you do CG?
I don't think I can
And, Gene, can you
be on orchestra duty?
- Hiring one? Recording them?
- Um
All right. It might be hard
to make a feature film in four days.
But what am I gonna do?
It has to be multimedia.
- Is this multimedia?
- Uh, no.
Sure, it is. It's like
a little finger puppet
that can also fix your mistakes.
- Ooh, puppets.
- Yes!
Not finger puppets.
Back in my pocket, you.
Your time will come.
You're, like, the
puppet kid, right, Benj?
- I guess.
- So, in your expert opinion,
can I put on a grade
A-caliber puppet show
about Amelia Earhart in four days?
Ish? Depending on
how you define "day."
Puppets, like puppets?
- Yeah.
- These took me two weeks to make. Each.
Oh. What about marionettes?
- I have marionette experience.
- Do you?
And kind of shocking natural ability?
- With marionettes.
- Three weeks.
Benj, you're not giving me much here.
Louise, in fifth grade, they
assign a lot more homework.
I'm doing this for the fifth grade play,
and then my mom drives me an hour
to do after-school wheelchair
basketball twice a week,
even though I do not care for it.
So maybe don't make
it like the puppet kid
has to help you just 'cause
you decided this morning
you wanted to do puppets.
Okay, okay! Geez.
Sorry. It's just
I heard you were the best.
- Don't touch.
- Yup. Yup.
- This room smells like paste.
- (CHUCKLES)
It's hot glue.
So, you were close. (CHUCKLING)
- Oh, hi, Ben.
- Hi!
It's actually "Benj." (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
An eighth grade girl knows my name.
Almost knows my name.
Yeah, well, welcome to the club.
It comes with no perks whatsoever.
What else can be multimedia?
- Interpretive dance?
- Ooh!
- No.
- Oh. Oh! Slam poetry?
An upright bass playing
in the background?
That might at least snag you a "B."
- For "bass."
- (SIGHS) It's got to be an "A."
Who is this kid?
- (PHONE RINGING)
- Oh! Uh, I'll get it.
Yeah, it's your cell
phone. This guy, huh?
- "I'll get it."
- Hi.
Yes, I can totally
talk to you about that.
Uh, let me just go into
the other room to, uh,
check my calendar that I have there.
It-It's the exterminator.
For the restaurant.
- They came last week.
- What'd I say? Exterminator?
I meant the sink examiner.
- Do you mean "plumber"?
- Yup! Bye!
I mean, I'll-I'll be right back.
I think plumbers make him nervous.
- So cute.
- Mom, think.
- Multimedia.
- Uh, glitter?
- No.
- (SADLY): Why no glitter?
Shadow puppets.
Is that a thing? Shadow puppets?
- TINA/LINDA/BOB: Yeah.
- I think. Like when Dad
used to make his hands
look kinda like a bird
and we'd all have to be polite
and say it was so much like a bird.
It does look like a bird.
And I do dog, rabbit
No. Uh, I don't know.
I got to talk to Benj.
The puppet kid? I thought
he was too busy to help you.
Uh, actually, Tina, we
have to talk to Benj.
Can you meet me at recess?
And maybe clean the
toothpaste off your cheek.
- What? (GRUNTS)
- Aw. I liked it.
Hey, Benj. How's it going?
Oh! (CHUCKLES): Hey, Tina.
Didn't see you there.
Benj, this is my sister Tina.
She's in eighth grade.
Oh. I'm aware. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah, she's an eighth grade girl.
Anyway, Tina's helping
me with my report.
Working closely with me, actually.
Hey, question for you about that.
Shadow puppets Got any experience?
Any advice?
I've seen some videos.
It's not the kind of
puppeteering that I usually do,
but I could, like, consult, maybe?
Great. What do I need? I
think I might have mentioned
there's some time pressure.
Uh, the report's on Monday.
Wait, really? It's Thursday.
It's okay. We've got this.
We're a team. Right, Tina?
- Right. What am I doing?
- Shh, shh.
So, what would I need?
Scissors, paper, sticks, a light
- Tina, you writing this down?
- Oh, um
Mm-hmm.
So, like, here?
A little further back. Is Tina coming?
She's coming. For sure.
That's not her. Or is it?
What are you doing here? It's lunch.
I'm prepping for my report.
You know Benj, right?
Yeah, hi, Benj. We're old pals.
Oh. Sounds like some history.
I almost flunked fourth grade.
- You did?
- You were fine.
If only puppets could take
vocabulary quizzes, right?
I'm working on one that can.
Ms. Labonz, I can hang a sheet here
and project a strong light
onto it from over there, right?
Uh, sure.
(SUCKS TEETH) Seems complicated.
Mine's a documentary.
Plays off the laptop. Lot
of personal narrative stuff.
Shots of Armstrong,
dissolve to me growing up.
- You know.
- Thanks, Wayne!
So glad you could stop by!
I've got a secret weapon now!
A shadow weapon!
Hey, you must have done this report.
- Who was your hero?
- Jim Henson.
So what'd you get? For a grade?
- A-plus-plus?
- A "C."
- Oh.
- Sorry.
- But you're my shadow weapon?
- I mean,
or your unpaid, part-time
shadow consultant?
Who's more into hand puppets?
- Well, crap.
- LABONZ: Ugh.
- This fish did not keep.
- (SNIFFING)
- Oh, no, it didn't.
- Yeah. I can smell that
BOB: Louise, remember
when I said you could
work on your project down here?
Can I change my answer?
No. I need the counter space.
It's just Look at
Teddy. Look at Mort.
I don't mind. It's a
fun challenge to not
stain my pants too much.
I heard Amelia Earhart
was actually captured
by the Japanese. Was that in the book?
Oh, yeah. There's tons of theories
about what happened to her.
And I go even farther than that.
What if she escaped from the POW camp
and then she became a super spy
and they gave her a super plane
and the person who sent her on missions
was President Eleanor Roosevelt?
- That's fun.
- I know.
But just the stuff we do
know about is pretty great.
Did I tell you my therapist has
a signed picture in her office?
Her mother knew Amelia Earhart's sister
up in Medford, Massachusetts.
Okay, you don't have to brag.
We can't all have
therapists whose mothers
are from Medford, Massachusetts, okay?
- Louise, be nice.
- Sorry, it's just, I got
9,000 puppets to cut here.
Who knows what a Nazi submarine
looks like in silhouette?
(QUIETLY): Bob, Bob, Bob.
- Teddy, what?
- I have a gift basket in my truck.
Soaps, lotions, bath bubbles.
It's for my mom, but
I could give it to you
to give to Linda for Mother's Day.
I know that you're not
great at thoughtful gestures.
We have, we have a whole
thing. It's okay. Thank you.
(WHISPERING): Some guy's
gonna come touch our mom.
(WHISPERING): We asked for a
lady, but they only had a guy.
But he's "almost certified."
So he's, like, a massage enthusiast.
(SHUSHING) She's coming.
God, Mort, stop talking
about funeral home stuff.
Yeah, we're not all
comfortable with death like you.
- What?
- Oh, Mort.
- What is it?
- It's a pedal board.
So instead of the
keyboard sounding like this
(NOTE DRONES)
- it sounds like this.
- (BLIPPING ECHOES)
Love it. It's in. Where'd you get it?
Peter Pescadero. His
brother plays guitar,
but his brother is away at college.
Peter said I could use it
if I teach him how to twerk.
Also Peter said he can
come play his bass recorder
along with me if I only
play in the key of F,
which is okay 'cause "key"
is just an attitude, I think.
- What's this?
- Soviet plane-fighting robot.
Did Amelia Earhart, um,
- do fights with Soviet robots?
- She might have.
- Ooh, I've got a good effect for that.
- (EFFECT ZAPPING)
Louise, do you have maybe too much
in the super spy section?
I think I have just the right
amount, thanks for asking.
Cut a little faster, maybe?
Well, do you say why she's your hero?
I mean, even if she didn't
become a secret super spy?
Yeah, yeah, that's in there.
It's called the "My Hero"
project, so of course I
get into all that.
- Tina. Duh.
- Sorry.
Nothing! I've got nothing!
I wrote a whole stupid story
about super spies and robots.
I'm gonna get an "F"
and smug Wayne will be
smug and kind of right.
- Aah!
- Okay. It's okay.
We can figure this out.
It's just
I hate that she failed. I hate it.
And the more I read that chapter,
the more it was like
It was her fault.
It was so badly planned.
They didn't bring the
right kind of radio.
And Wayne's gonna be sitting
there with his dumb face
and his successful
moon-landing man report.
Hey. Forget about Wayne.
Wayne can go kiss a kickball.
Maybe you can cut the spy stuff?
Maybe just write an ending
where nothing happened,
except what's most likely,
which is that she went down
in the Pacific Ocean
and they never found
her body or her plane.
Yeah, that sounds like a crowd pleaser.
Well, better than
that, but let's just try
and see what that would look like.
It would just be
rewriting this much, right?
- And then the next page.
- Oh.
And the one after that.
Oh, okay, but still, we-we can do this.
Uh, let me get you
fresh paper and a pencil.
- Do kids still use pencils?
- Yeah.
BOB: All right, your mom's still asleep,
or she's pretending to
be asleep, I can't tell.
How-how are you, um doing?
With my report? Horrible.
I know it's Mother's
Day, so I'll just stop.
You can keep working
on it after breakfast.
LOUISE: Well, I'm not gonna
ruin Mother's Day and fail,
so I might as well
just do the failing part.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Oh, no! You weren't supposed
to ring the doorbell.
Hello. I'm Pat.
- Shh!
- Oh. Sorry.
Wait, what's going on?
Pat. You're a surprise.
I'm a surprise like what
am I doing at your door?
No, I-I mean, I was
thinking I'd try to
sneak you in and
surprise my wife with you.
Oh, fun.
(WHISPERS): I mean, fun.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Ah, don't make so much noise, Gene.
Your-your mother's sleeping. Shh.
Oh, smart.
But now you have to
pretend you have a son
named Gene for the rest of your life.
What? No, I really
have a son named Gene.
Uh-oh. Losing my grip.
- Uh, surprise.
- Happy Mother's Day.
- Happy Mother's Day.
- Happy Mother's Day.
Thank you?
Hi. Come on over and
we'll get you comfortable.
I'm totally comfortable. Too
comfortable maybe. Not really.
I'll step out and you
can remove your robe
and lie down on your
stomach, with your face here.
Hmm.
- Hi.
- ALL: Hi.
This is everyone's first
massage, I'm gathering?
- Why do you say that?
- 'Cause we look like
we think you're gonna murder our mom?
We always look like
that. Don't be offended.
(LINDA HUMMING)
- Oh.
- What?!
Your back, it's so tight.
Were you in an accident?
- No.
- Really?
Did you just wake up from a coma?
No. Is it possible
it's just from my life?
- Wow. Bob?
- Yeah?
We're gonna need more than an hour.
Uh, for the same money?
Oh. Oh, yes.
This will be a great
learning experience for me.
Most people don't have this.
What a strange, unique challenge.
Can I get on your Wi-Fi?
I might need to watch some videos.
LOUISE: Ugh, that's it.
I give up. I give up!
You win, Wayne, you
big-mouthed bastard!
- Aah!
- Okay. Tense.
Tense house. The knots
are making more sense.
LOUISE: Stupid! Dumb! Hate
it! Hate it. (SHOUTING)
Nothing. No ship, no Howland Island.
No land of any kind.
They were exactly where
they weren't supposed to be,
over the open ocean,
with nothing but fumes
left in the gas tanks
LOUISE: I don't even want to do the
(SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY)
and just disappear, too!
I'll go check on Louise
and see why she's yelling.
- And banging.
- LINDA: Bob, bring her in here.
No, Lin. This is your special treat.
We want you to relax.
I'm not gonna be able to relax
unless she's in here
and I can talk to her.
- It's not quite what I would
- It's okay.
Mom, it's fine.
I didn't mean to make so much noise.
Just pretend I said, "Wee!"
- Okay?
- Aw, my baby, I can help you.
- I had a thought.
- You did?
Yeah. Oh! Oh! Oh-ooh!
I'm listening when you're
done making that sound.
LOUISE: When they realized
just how bad things were,
Amelia and her navigator
must have talked.
But what is there to say?
"Oops"? I imagine
that she made a graceful
landing on the water.
I imagine that they
climbed out up onto
the nose of the plane.
I imagine the plane was
sinking, but not quickly.
The body of it would fill with water,
and slowly become too heavy
for the empty gas tanks
in the wings to hold up on the surface.
And I picture Amelia
really facing her fate.
No planes in the sky.
No ships on the horizon.
And she would have known.
Soon, she'd be treading water.
The great flier is now a floater.
Fish food.
- (WAYNE LAUGHS)
- Wayne, zip it.
I was thinking about
Amelia Earhart's mother.
- Since it's Mother's Day.
- Yeah?
You know what I bet she never said
- to her daughter?
- What?
- Act like a lady.
- Gross.
I know, but back when she was a kid,
women weren't doing things that men did,
like flying planes or wearing pants.
And I bet she never said, "Ooh!
Girls can do anything boys can do."
'Cause, you know, sometimes
when they say that, it
It ends up sounding like the opposite?
Yeah. You never said it to me.
It never came up. Oh!
- Oh-oof!
- Sorry. Too much pressure?
No, no, I like it. Ooh!
I'm gonna write some of this down.
However she did it, whatever she said
Amelia Earhart's mom It worked.
She had a confident daughter.
- Exhale.
- Ooh! That's good.
- Thank you.
- (SIGHS) I feel awful for her.
Losing her daughter like that.
But, you know, her daughter
was doing what she loved to do.
And Amelia was so confident,
and she did all this stuff.
And then a lot of little girls
saw themselves doing all sorts of stuff.
- Hoo! Hoo-ah!
- Sorry.
No, it's good. So, in a way
Amelia's mom gave me a huge gift.
That because of her daughter,
my daughter gets a glimpse
of this fantastic life (GURGLING)
- You're drooling.
- Am I?
- Yes. Very much.
- That's a compliment
to a massage therapist, I think.
Should I get a towel
or a mop or something?
No, no, come back. I can't see you.
I won't drool anymore.
- Okay
- Hey.
Heroes don't have to be perfect.
You know?
They just have to make you think bigger
about yourself somehow.
(GRUNTS) Sorry.
- Little more drool.
- Aah! Aah!
LOUISE: Amelia Earhart
didn't fly around the world.
And some people may think
that makes her a failure.
And those people might say that loudly,
while standing next
to you with hot breath.
And sometimes, yeah, people with louder,
deeper voices get heard more
and that's really annoying,
but that doesn't make me want to
make my voice lower and deeper.
That just makes me mad.
I mean, I can do it.
(DEEP VOICE): "Hey, I'm Louise."
(NORMAL VOICE): See? Pretty good.
But that's not the point.
Look what Earhart did.
She saved her money
and she bought her bright red
Lockheed Vega.
That was her saying, "Hello.
This is what my voice sounds like."
(EFFECT WARBLING)
That thing had a 450-horsepower engine.
That basically means an engine as strong
and as loud as 450
horses mushed together.
And it could fly.
If you wrote a book and
you invented this character,
this dashing lady pilot,
you might become a famous author.
Well, she was that character.
She wrote herself.
Okay, so we know what probably happened.
But who knows, right?
When you're that far out in
the world, there's more magic.
That's true. It's like
that in the North Pole
and in the jungles. Maybe
after she made her peace,
just before she got too
tired to keep afloat,
maybe some of that
magic lifted that plane
right back up underneath her.
And maybe she got to fly it back
up into the air and maybe
she never had to land again.
Maybe she dropped Fred Noonan off
in Navigator Heaven and then kept going.
I like to think of her flying
around up there right now.
She makes me want to
write a story for myself
that's as big and as
fricking cool as hers.
So that's why Amelia Earhart is my hero.
Wow.
- Yay!
- That was good.
And it's not a contest, but I think
that's better than a male astronaut.
Okay, who's up next?
- Is it Wayne?
- LABONZ: Yeah, it's Wayne.
WAYNE: Uh
I cannot wait ♪
To watch you find your wings ♪
'Cause I know you're on your way ♪
Up, up, up, up to bigger things ♪
Oh, oh ♪
And if the world makes you feel ♪
Small ♪
Just let them watch you fly ♪
Above it all ♪
Some of that magic ♪
I see it in your eyes ♪
Some of that magic ♪
You're meant for the sky ♪
Some of that magic ♪
Makes me want to find
some of that magic. ♪