Bob's Burgers s15e02 Episode Script

1
[BOB] I still can't believe
the Cosmic Drive-in's closing.
Aw, poor drive-in.
But I'm glad you kids will
get to see it before it's gone.
Always interested in your
disappearing way of life, Dad.
- Tell us again about print media?
- Louise.
I used to go there all
the time when I was a kid.
Or, well, a few times.
And you met Ramona.
Who's Ramona?
She was the first girl that
ever talked to your dad.
- Pretty much, yeah.
- Aw.
Mom was the first girl
that ever talked to me.
- I felt so special.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
Ugh. This lady from the PTA.
I texted her on our group chat.
I said, "are you bringing four tables
or five tables to the bake sale?"
- And she texts back, "got it."
- Huh.
And then Colleen writes
back, "which is it?"
And then, an hour later
Maryanne finally texts back,
"how many tables for the bake sale?"
And I say, "we need five total.
Can you bring five, or do we
need to find another table?"
And she just wrote back, "see you then."
And you're confused because
Maybe you should just call her?
And what, talk to her? No, thanks.
I'll just complain about
her on our other text chain
where a few of us vent about
Maryanne's weird, confusing texts.
So you're talking about
her behind her back.
No, I'm texting about
her behind her back.
- Got it.
- Well, I'm so glad
Teddy told us about tonight, or else
we would've missed the final screening.
What's the movie we're seeing again?
Attack of the Man-Monsters.
It's a great movie from the '60s.
Well, it's a movie from the '60s.
This drive-in likes to play old movies.
So glad it's an old movie
and not one of those boring new movies.
Please tell me it's slow-paced.
Oh, come on, kids, we're gonna be
watching a movie under the stars.
Plus you can sneak in
all the food you want.
The car is like a
giant purse with wheels.
Look, I brought grapes
and the almost-fancy crackers,
half a bag of croutons,
and some old deli meat
that's probably still good.
Uh-huh. Thank god Tina's sharing
her weirdly saved-up
Halloween and Easter candy
that she was somehow able
to keep hidden from us.
Still waiting on that thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
God, she's on such a power trip.
Yes, I am.
Call me the candy queen.
[BOB] Oh, man, the old sign.
Hmm, it's maybe not working anymore.
It used to be really cool looking.
Eh, who wants to see
it when it was cool?
It's more fun to have your dad wait
until the place is about to shut down
and then vaguely
describe what it was like.
One ticket, please.
It's just me. No one else.
- I'm totally alone.
- [POUNDING IN TRUNK]
Pipe down, Harold.
You're gonna blow our cover.
Okay. Enjoy the movie.
Hi. Uh, five tickets, please.
The station to tune into the movie
will be on your receipt.
Oh. Uh, when did they
get rid of the speakers?
Uh, I think like 30 years ago.
I I guess I haven't
been here in a while.
We've been very busy.
Cool. Be sure to visit our snack bar.
Oh, sure, hon. We will.
Is that a package of deli meat?
What? No. How did that get there?
Two, please. My mom. She's asleep.
She loves it here, though. Really.
[LAUGHS] Look who saved several dollars.
- Suckers.
- [GRUNTING]
[HAROLD] What's going on out there?
Open up already.
I can't. It's stuck.
- What?
- [SHUSHES]
[GRUNTING]
Hey, hi, how you doing?
[GRUNTING]
[LOUISE] Let's see, I'll go here,
Tina's candy bag can go here,
you guys work out the rest,
and then let's get munching.
Uh, let's wait until
the movie actually starts
until we get into the candy, okay, kids?
- What? Why?
- Because the candy queen says so.
- Ugh, fine.
- [GROWLS]
Gene, be cool.
Wow. This place.
[WOMAN] I made him let it go.
[SCREAMS]
-
- Whoa, fly arm.
Dad? Did you fall
asleep during the movie?
[GRUNTS] Uh, yeah, yeah, I just woke up.
Oh. Uh, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Do you want anything from the snack bar?
- Nah, I might just go back to sleep.
- Okay.
Well, um, have a good, uh, rest.
You know you could've brought a friend.
Well, they were all, th-they were busy.
And you don't really have that many.
Ah thanks.
I'm gonna go get snacks now.
You got some TP on your shoe.
Huh? Oh, I wasn't going number two.
Uh-uh, so I don't even know
how that would've gotten there.
[GROANS]
- Ha! Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
You're Robbie Belcher, right?
Bobby. Uh, Bob, lately.
- Your name is Bobby Bob Lately?
- Ha! No. Uh, Bob Belcher.
You're Ramona, right?
W-We have, uh, social studies together.
I-I don't know your last name.
Yeah, well, don't bother learning it,
- 'cause we're moving.
- Oh, really?
It's fine. The good news
is, my mom's boyfriend Dave
didn't get invited to
join us in Akron, Ohio.
So we're having what I'm hoping
is our last outing together right now.
Who are you here with? Someone cool,
like your mom and your mom's boyfriend?
Uh, not my mom, uh,
I'm here with my dad,
who's, uh, getting in a nice nap.
Well, I'm gonna go get
popcorn. You want popcorn?
I mean, I'm not gonna buy it for you.
Just, I buy mine at the
same time as you buy yours?
Okay! I mean, yeah, sure.
[LINDA GASPS] Oh, my god.
No. No, no, no, no, no, no.
- What? Lin. What?
- [GROANS]
I texted "Maryanne is
such a dumb-belstiltskin"
to what I thought was
the other text chain,
but I actually texted it
to the main text chain.
The one that Maryanne is on.
What's a "dumb-belstiltskin"?
You know, like rumpelstiltskin
but with "dumb"?
Oh, this is bad. This is very bad.
Do you want us to
workshop something better?
Dumbelina's right there if you want it.
[EVELYN] Hello.
Hi. Welcome.
I'm Evelyn James, I'm the owner
of the Cosmic Drive-In.
Wow. Big turnout.
Where were all of you
for the last 40 years? Ha!
Just kidding. Mostly.
Anyway, tonight marks the end of an era.
The property will officially
be going up for sale tomorrow.
Ugh, this place can't go away.
We-we can't just let it close.
Whoa. Someone's full of beans tonight.
I am full of beans, Tina.
I-I'm gonna do something about it.
You're gonna do
something about something?
- That's not your style.
- I know.
But I think we have to
try to save the drive-in?
- Save it? How?
- Like give it a kidney?
Like, I-I don't know, uh,
like get a-a petition going?
Go around from car to car?
- Get signatures? Maybe?
- [EVELYN] So,
without any further
ado, I hope you enjoy
tonight's final feature
Attack of the Man-Monsters.
- And movie.
- [HORNS HONK]
Look, there's tons of people here,
the place is in decent
shape, it's still got it.
Th-this is the best
way to watch a movie.
- Oh.
- [EVELYN] Oop um, okay.
Uh, just a little
technical difficulty, folks.
We'll get this projector up and
running in just a few moments.
In the meantime, enjoy some popcorn.
Uh, okay, now I'm hearing
that popcorn is
unavailable at the moment.
The machine is a little bit on fire.
But there's lots of other
tasty not-on-fire treats,
so come on down.
Still worth saving. Still worth saving.
Uh, o-okay, we don't have any paper,
but, uh, people can
just sign these napkins?
You can use napkins
for a petition, right?
- Unless you're a petition snob.
- Ah, crap.
I told the main text chain
that me calling Maryanne
a dumb-belstiltskin was just
some sort of auto-correct thing,
but now they've gone silent.
- And my other text chain
- The gossipy one.
Shush. They're all freaking
out, and it's not helping.
Maybe I tell the main one I was hacked?
I'm sorry, Lin. D-do you
want me to stay and help you
- lie to people on the PTA?
- No, I'll figure it out.
Okay, I'm gonna go get
petitioning to save this place.
- Oh, my god.
- Good luck, Dad.
Ooh, I'm feeling a pee coming on.
Better go take care of
that before the movie.
[LOUISE] Okay, bye.
So, should we sneak a
little smidge of sugar
- while Tina's away?
- But she said to wait.
- Like a monster.
- Come on, she'll never know.
- Look at how much there is.
- Good point.
- Gimme, gimme, gimme.
- [LAUGHS] Ho, ho, ho.
- She's got ka-bloozies.
- Yes.
Mmm. Candy good.
[MUNCHES]
It's a great day to have taste buds.
And Tina is none the wiser. Whoa.
Gene, your mouth is really blue.
Your mouth is really blue.
Oh, crap. I forgot
ka-bloozies did that.
We were caught up in the
moment of candy bliss.
Oh, man, Tina's gonna be so mad at us.
The candy queen's gonna
chop off our heads.
Or worse, never let us have
any of her candy ever again.
Gah! Maybe we can wash out our mouths.
Yes. Mom, did you bring
water, by any chance?
We won't make fun of you if you did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh-huh.
[GRUNTING]
How's it look now? Ah?
Still very blue. Me? Ah.
- Somehow more blue?
- Napkins.
[CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Now I got bits of napkin in my mouth.
Daddy, there's a scary
man outside our window.
Um, yes?
I'm, uh, I'm not scary.
I was just wondering
if you'd sign this petition
to save the drive-in.
- That's a napkin.
- I know.
It was, it was sort of a
spur-of-the-moment thing.
But it's a real petition.
Gonna be a real petition.
- Anyway, if you could just sign
- Don't do it, Dad.
- He's a murderer.
- Hey, i-I'm not a
- I'm not a murderer.
- That's what a murderer would say.
Honey, the kids are scared.
I think you better
just roll up the window.
- Sorry.
- Hurry, Dad, hurry!
- Yeah, sorry.
- I, uh
It's a petition for
saving the drive-in.
- The projector's broken.
- Yes, uh, I-I know, but
and the sign doesn't even work anymore.
I drove right by the entrance,
- had to turn around.
- Uh, r-right.
And I didn't really care
for the last film I saw here.
Well, I don't think
that's really their fault.
- Here. Goodbye.
- [MUFFLED FART]
Uh, that was me. Sneezing.
- Um
- Okay, off you go.
Bye-bye now.
[GRUNTING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
Oh, god. Here comes Tina,
and our mouths are still very blue.
[GENE] Maybe she doesn't
even like ka-bloozies
and we actually did her a favor?
No matter what, don't open your mouth.
Okay, now that that's out
of my system. [CHUCKLES]
[GENE AND LOUISE GIGGLE]
Yeah, that was a good
one. All right, guys?
Since we've got some time,
I thought we could go over
the candy ground rules. Sound good?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, so, no fighting over candies,
no overstuffing mouthies,
and no "taste it, don't like
it, put it back in the bagsies."
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, and stay away from the ka-bloozies.
- Hmm?
- Yeah, those are for Tina.
There's three of them,
and I'm saving them
for my big candy finale
near the end of the movie.
So, ka-bloozies, not-for-youzies.
Everybody clear on that?
- [BOTH] Mm
- Great.
Okay, I've been brainstorming
with the non-Maryanne text chain
and we came up with the perfect plan.
I'm gonna call one
of them the same thing
I called Maryanne and
then take a screenshot
and text it to Maryanne as evidence
that dumb-belstiltskin is
just something I call everyone.
Isn't that smart?
- I mean
- It is.
[MARYANNE] [OVER PHONE] Linda? Hello?
Did you mean to call me?
- It's Maryanne.
- Oh! Oh!
Hang up! Hang up!
What you up to? Bothering people?
Just trying to do a petition
thing to save the drive-in.
Oh, wow. You want some popcorn?
It's burnt but free?
Uh, okay.
[RAMONA] You think the
fly is about communism?
Yeah, I think all movies from
the '50s were about communism.
I think it's about not
messing with nature.
But also maybe it's about, like,
the part of you that's
weird, like a fly.
- Your idea sounds smarter.
- I'm very smart.
Hey, you want to see something cool?
Uh, intermission's almost over.
This is worth it, trust
me. You okay with heights?
- Oh. Uh
- Forget I said heights.
I meant great things. You
okay with great things?
- Yes?
- Good.
How'd you like to watch the
rest of the movie from up there?
[QUINN] Huh. I want to
save the drive-in, too,
but I never thought of
actually doing something.
I know. Me either. I never do things.
So, what happens after
you get all the signatures?
Uh, well, I'll present
them to Evelyn and say,
"look at all these names."
I-I'm-I'm kind of bad at this.
What you should really
do is something online,
where people can kick in a few bucks?
- This place needs money.
- Oh. Yeah. That sounds great.
Uh, how do people do that?
Well, there's lots of sites you can use.
You go on one, sign up,
get yourself a link people can go to.
My cousin used moneyprettyplease
to help pay for his dog's braces.
That would be amazing.
Wait, dogs get braces?
He really needed them.
Now that dog's gorgeous.
Uh, so how long does it take
to do one of those online link things?
- And here you go.
- Oh. That was fast.
But then you got to let
people know about the link.
- How's your social media presence?
- Um
I don't think my phone has that.
Well, you just need a
way to get the word out.
Oh. The sign!
I know. Stuff kept breaking,
and Evelyn finally gave up on it.
Wouldn't be so bad if it didn't
get so dark at night, you know?
Right, nighttime's dark, but
if we can get the sign working,
we could put the link on there.
So everyone can see it
when they leave tonight,
and people driving by can see it, too.
And maybe all lit up,
it'll remind people
of what this place used to be.
Huh. Well I mean,
I can get you a ladder
and letters for the marquee.
But I have no clue how
you'd fix the lights.
Oh! I think I know someone who can help.
- Teddy! Teddy!
- Shh. Hey, Bob. You made it.
Did you bring Linda and the kids?
Yeah. I-I wouldn't come
to a drive-in by myself.
Wait, why are we whispering?
- My mom fell asleep.
- Oh.
She, uh she ate a gummy.
She was really silly
when we left the house,
but then she conked out while
we were driving over here.
I'm just letting her sleep it off.
Oh. Okay. Uh
- Well, um, do you have your tools?
- Yeah.
Do you think you could come with me
and help fix the drive-in sign?
Oh. Huh. Maybe.
Wait, do you work here now?
No. Uh, can you just come with me?
I-It's kind of urgent.
Okay, just let me leave my mom a note.
Uh i-I'll use this gum wrapper.
Okay, great. Fine. Here.
"I went with Bob "
- Oh, my god.
- " To fix sign.
- Don't have a lot of details about it."
- Teddy.
Eh, boy, I have to write
pretty small with this thing.
Where's paper when you
need it? Right, Bobby?
Right, I know. I know.
Can we go? Now, please?
Oh, my god, I forgot how high this is.
Forget it. Let's not do it.
- Oh.
- Sorry, I mean
Uh, let's do it.
Unless you don't want to.
No, no, let's do it,
let's-let's do it. Yay.
Well, I see why we needed the ladder.
Yeah, some of the rungs
on the pole rusted off.
And then the lights broke.
And it was hard to fix.
And then we were just like,
"what if there's no sign?
People should just know things."
- And of course the poison Ivy.
- What?
Or regular Ivy. I'm not sure.
It'll be a fun surprise for later.
Uh, I guess we should go up?
Oh, god.
[GRUNTING]
Wow. This is amazing.
I'm surprised there
aren't more people up here.
- Well, you can't hear it.
- Right.
- And if you fall off, you die.
- Right.
- Ooh, this is a good part.
- [CROWD GASPS IN DISTANCE]
- [RAMONA] That guy's a fly.
- [YOUNG BOB] Wow.
It-it's amazing how you're
able to understand movies.
[RAMONA] Thank you.
[SHUDDERS] So high up.
- [TEDDY] I think I can fix it.
- Oh. Great.
I'll do what I can up here,
and then there must be a
switch down at the base.
Okay. Uh, Quinn? Tell
me the link you made
and let's start putting it up.
forward slash
1478 forward slash
savethecosmic driveinnow.
That's so long. Does
it need to be that long?
I mean, if we want
them to find the website
and give money, then, yeah.
Right. Right. Uh, okay.
Well, we'll-we'll make it work.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Aah! Oh, god.
It's a text from Maryanne.
- What's it say?
- "Call me."
Oh, my god. She's gonna
kill me. Over the phone.
Let me think. Quiet. Wait.
It is quiet. That's freaking me out.
Louise? Gene? What's wrong with you two?
We're fine, we're just patiently waiting
for the movie to start.
And then my face just got so cold.
So I was wondering if I could
watch the movie this way.
But no, sir. [CHUCKLES]
[GENE] Yeah, good for warming the face,
bad for watching the
show. Can't have it all.
Huh. Yeah. Dark.
I'm surprised, but I'm not surprised.
[TEDDY] Okay. I-I'm gonna
throw the breaker. You ready?
- Ready! - Ready!
- [GRUNTS]
[QUINN AND BOB CHEER]
[BOB] It worked! Great job, Teddy!
Ah, I'm gonna go back and
check on my mom. You guys good?
Yup! Thanks again!
I'd better get back to
the concession stand.
It would suck to lose my job
on the last night this place is open.
Hopefully it's not the last night.
[SIGHS]
I never want to watch a
movie not from up here.
Yeah. They probably have
drive-ins in Ohio, right?
They're everywhere, I think.
What, they're gonna
stop having drive-ins?
Oh, boy, here it comes.
- He crushed that fly-guy with a rock.
- Yeah.
Seems kinda harsh. Just because
he was a little different.
But it's not like he was ever
gonna be Mr. Tons of friends.
[SIGHS]
I'd be friends with him.
- Yeah?
- Sure.
If he promised to, like, not
land in poop when we hang out.
Yeah, that seems reasonable.
Okay. Better go.
Ah! Oh, no, no, no. No.
Crap.
All right. I'll just call no!
I did not just drop my phone.
I did. I just dropped my phone.
Teddy! Quinn! Teddy!
- Anyone!
- [HORN HONKING]
Uh, thanks. Thanks so much.
Oh, god. Okay. I mean,
the rungs aren't that rusty.
Maybe?
[GRUNTING]
Okay. So far so g ah!
[GASPS] Yeah, that's okay. That's fine.
- [SCREAMS, GRUNTS]
- [THUDS]
Oh I-I didn't
Break anything?
Everything hurts, but nothing's broken.
That's good.
[TINA] Maybe just call her?
But then I have to talk to her.
[GENE] Do you want me to
call and pretend to be you?
I do a pretty good Linda.
- "Hi, I'm Linda."
- [TINA] Whoa. That is good.
So, uh, still having blanket time?
- [LOUISE] Yeah.
- [GENE] Yeah.
Uh, I found the fart smell unpleasant.
Ugh. I just don't know
what to say to her.
Maybe just be honest?
Tell her you got frustrated
and you did something kind
of mean and you're sorry?
Okay. Okay, fine. I'll be honest.
But I might make this
call away from you guys,
in case I change my mind
about the honesty thing.
'Cause someone can be a little judgy.
I think I might stretch my legs, too.
[GASPS] Geez, Gene, what
is the matter with you?
- What have you been eating?
- Candy.
- Aha!
- [SCREAMING]
I knew it. Caught you blue mouthed!
- You ate my ka-bloozies.
- When did you know?
Pretty much right away.
Because it was so obvious.
Plus, no one would stay under
a blanket with Gene that long.
We're sorry. We didn't know
they were your favorite.
So, are we getting our
candy privileges revoked?
- Or just Gene maybe?
- Hey.
No. It was entertaining.
Not as good as a movie,
but a little better than
watching Mom freak out.
And there's still one left.
I-I can work with that.
- So we'll split it three ways?
- No. No. Back under the blanket.
[GROANING] No! [COUGHS]
- [BOB GRUNTS]
- Bob!
Whoa, what happened to you?
Hey, Quinn. Uh, I sort
of pushed over the ladder
and I had to climb down
the rungs and I almost died.
It-it's fine.
Cool. Well, I just saw
Evelyn heading for the stage.
They must have fixed the projector.
Oh! I-I should go tell
her about the sign.
So she can tell people about it,
and if people want to applaud
when they see the sign,
then that's fine, too.
[GRUNTS] Okay. Ow. Ow.
Evelyn. Hi. Can I, uh,
can I just real quick
maybe we can chat after I
do this, heavy-breathing guy?
I'll be right back. Or I won't.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hello, everyone. Thank
you for your patience.
We're ready to roll the film, so
Wait, the sign's on? Well,
what-what does it say?
It's a moneyprettyplease website thing.
What? Wha I can't hear you.
We put a website on the sign.
Wait, wait, wait, h-hold
on. What are you saying?
Uh, hi. So, uh, me and some others
put a link to a fundraising
website on the marquee.
Is that your dad?
We were trying to raise
money for the drive-in
- so you don't have to sell.
- What? Really?
Yes. Look, uh, i-I'm a
small business owner, too.
I-I get how hard it is
to keep a place going.
And th-this place is special.
It-it means something.
All I'm saying is,
maybe this could help?
And maybe you could hold off
on putting this place up for sale?
Oh, no, honey. I want to sell.
- Y-Y-You do?
- Oh, yes. Very much.
Listen, I'm sad to say
goodbye, but I-I want to retire
and-and travel and spend
more time with my grandkids.
- Even the annoying one.
- Oh.
Also, when's the last time
you were here, huh? Be honest.
Um well
- Yeah?
- I-I mean, I,
I used to come here, um
And I have some really
great memories here.
Well, those aren't
going anywhere, are they?
I'm not selling those. I
mean, if I could, I would,
but I don't know how that
technology would work.
Right. O-Okay.
I-I mean, I'm glad you're happy.
I-I did fall pretty far. But it's fine.
Do you mind if I go back
to all the people waiting
for me to finish talking?
Oh, yes. Uh, bye.
[GRUNTING]
[GASPING]
Yes! I mean, uh, who
the hell is this guy?
- What?
- Here you go, sir.
I found your crowbar.
Whoa, you look rough.
- I mean, are you okay, hon?
- Yeah.
I-I'm just glad this place
was here while it was.
Sorry, kids. Sorry I
couldn't save it for you.
Dad, you know movies still exist, right?
And we can watch them in fun places
and brag about it to our kids someday?
- Like in the bathroom.
- Yeah, I know. Thanks.
Lin, what happened with Maryanne?
Oh, I called her. We talked.
Turns out she's a lovely
person but terrible on text.
Also, they're housebreaking
their new puppy,
so she was all distracted by that.
Anyway, I'm never gonna
gossip about anyone ever again.
- That's nice.
- And look,
she sent me a picture of the puppy.
Aw. Oh.
I know, who knew puppies could be ugly?
A real Scooby-don't.
Sorry, last gossip.
Now I'm done. Now I'm done!
Okay, pipe down, people.
It's finally starting.
Yes! Candy me, baby!
Okay, okay.
Hey, guys. Mom woke up, so, uh
[LINDA] You want some deli meat?
Yeah, throw it on top.
♪
[MONSTER ROARING IN FILM]
[WOMAN] What is it, doctor?
[DOCTOR] It appears to
be some kind of monster.
But also man. A man-monster.
[WOMAN] Dear god, how do we fight it?
[DOCTOR] Well, it seems
its one weakness is love.
[MONSTER ROARS]
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[MONSTER GROWLS AMOROUSLY]
[WOMAN] [SWOONS] Oh.
[MONSTER PURRS]
[WOMAN] Aw.
- [MONSTER GROWLS]
- [WOMAN SHUDDERS]
[MONSTER PURRS]
- [WOMAN] Oh.
- [MONSTER] Huh?