QI (2003) s17e15 Episode Script

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Good evening and welcome to QI, where tonight we are delighted to bring you both quantity and quality.
And with me are a pint and a half of best, Joe Lycett.
APPLAUSE Two heaped spoonfuls of delicious, Bridget Christie.
APPLAUSE Six yards of finest, James Acaster.
APPLAUSE And a shed-load of Alan Davies with bells on.
APPLAUSE Their buzzers emphasise quantities over qualities.
Joe goes Zero, un, deux.
- Bridget goes - Tre, quattro, cinque.
James goes Seis, siete, ocho.
Alan goes Nine, nine, nine! LAUGHTER Right.
QI are thinking of starting a high-quality airline, but we don't have the quantity of money required.
What cost-saving measures could we take? How much are trains? LAUGHTER Say you still wanted to go in the airline business.
How much would it cost to put wings on a train? LAUGHTER There are driverless trains.
Perhaps don't have pilots or stewards.
Gliders.
Right, why? No fuel costs.
Well, it is fuel that we want to save.
We want to help the environment, you want to save money and so on.
- So, here is an extraordinary thing - No passengers.
- Well, you want the passengers to - Or luggage.
You want the passengers to be as light as possible.
Skinny people with no bags.
LAUGHTER Are you allowed to advertise that? Yes.
In 2013, Samoa Air were the very first airline to charge passengers according to their own weight.
Really? Yeah.
They actually did it.
Yeah, they had to pay one Samoan tala, that's roughly sort of 29, 30p for every kilo that they - and their luggage weighed.
- Wow.
But the actual plane, you can save money on the actual plane.
I know it sounds very strange, but white planes are more efficient than dark planes.
What?! Yeah.
Lighter paint is literally lighter.
Dark paint on an aeroplane can add the equivalent weight of eight passengers.
You look, James, as though you don't believe me.
Well, it does sound like a lie.
LAUGHTER Why might dark paint be heavier, do you think? Cos it's evil? LAUGHTER Dark paint is heavier because it has more pigments in it.
More pigments.
Yeah.
I was going to say pigment.
Ah! - No, I was going to say pigment, actually.
- I was going to say All right children, all right.
LAUGHTER So, if you look at a plane, you'll see most of them are of a lighter colour.
Why paint it at all? So that is the other option, is that you could polish it.
However, you do need to wash it more often to offset corrosion if you've just polished it.
And white paint would be cheaper, because actually the money you'd save on fuel, you would spend on washing.
- So those are your choices.
- It sounds like a headache, really, - I'm not going to open an air flight business.
- Are you not? - No.
But it's amazing where you can save money.
So, in 2018, United Airlines switched to lighter paper for the in-flight magazine, all right.
They saved 1oz per copy.
Doesn't seem like very much at all.
But it's £11 saved for a full flight.
You multiply that by the whole fleet, over a single year, you have saved 170,000 gallons of fuel worth 290,000.
Just a single ounce of paper on each individual in-flight magazine.
The airlines' beverage cart, it now weighs half what the old ones used to weigh.
They've stopped duty-free sales in many instances.
Well, I've picked a few already you can get rid of.
That little tiny tray that the other trays are in, why does that exist? I mean, all of the food can go, because it looks shit.
LAUGHTER I noticed on a flight I was on recently that they weren't showing Ocean's 11, but they were showing Ocean's 8, so that's three people.
Three, that's three straight away.
LAUGHTER In the 1980s, there was a man called Robert Crandall, who was then head of American Airlines, and he removed just one olive from every single salad served to their customers.
Nobody noticed and they saved 40,000 a year.
Yeah, but I bet he was fatter at the end of it.
LAUGHTER If he's popping an olive from everyone's plate in every plane, - that's having some effect.
I'm no scientist.
- No, clearly.
You could say, "no hats".
LAUGHTER No-one could really get annoyed if you said no hats.
There's a lot of screws in a plane as well.
I reckon a couple of those LAUGHTER The Japanese airline called All Nippon Airways, in 2009 they asked passengers to visit the loo before boarding.
They calculated that a full 767 could hold 240lb of urine inside its passengers, and if everybody boarded with an empty bladder, they calculated they could reduce carbon emissions by 5 tonnes over the course of a month.
Is that man doing a selfie while he urinates? LAUGHTER We should move on.
How can you make money from fresh air? - Hmm.
- Er .
.
catch it in a net.
Separate it into its component parts and then sell those.
You don't need to.
You can just sell fresh air.
So, in 2015, there was a man called Moses Lam.
He lived in Edmonton, Canada.
And as a joke he sold a bag, there he is.
A bag of fresh Canadian air on eBay for 99 cents.
It went, and when the bids for the second bag got to 168 Canadian dollars, he thought, hmm, might be on to something here.
He gave up his job as a mortgage broker and now he sells Canadian Rockies air.
- That is what he does for a living.
- In jars? - Yeah.
A single eight-litre bottle costs 24 US dollars.
His company, Vitality, has sold over 200,000 units, often to countries with very low air quality, so he sells them to China and India and South Korea, and so on.
And if Canadian air sounds pricey, you could have Swiss mountain air.
That's only £17, roughly, a can.
How can you prove that it's from there? Well, you just have to believe, Bridget.
You could buy some good old British air, if you preferred, if you don't want to buy air from abroad.
You can buy air from Yorkshire, from Wiltshire, from Wales.
There's a company called Aethaer.
The company's founder, Leo De Watts, he has coined the term "air farming".
There he is.
Ah, he looks exactly like I thought he would.
LAUGHTER It's completely pure air.
It is actually collected in Somerset, or wherever he happens to be.
It's just scooped up and sealed.
It's just a lot of money for a jar, isn't it, really? Which country do you think has the best air quality in the world? Britain.
Oh, that's so sweet and loyal and so wrong, so unbelievably wrong.
It's going to be Iceland.
It's going to be Scandi, isn't it, for sure.
Finland? Finland, absolutely right, it is Finland indeed.
Followed by, of course, the usual suspects, all the Scandis.
Iceland, Sweden and then Estonia and Norway.
UK is 25th after Singapore.
- Oh, yeah.
- And just one place ahead of Oman.
Sweden were really high and they still have really good air.
But they've dropped down the list, because in these countries that have lots of snow, they have tyre spikes so that they're not all sliding around, and they're digging up the tarmac which is causing some toxic, and they have to sort it out.
Can't even stop yourself slipping on the road.
Unbelievable.
Worst quality air in the world, anybody have a guess? I went to Delhi and it was, the air was black.
- Yeah, it's Kanpur in Uttar Pradesh.
- Is it? Nicknamed "the Manchester of India".
LAUGHTER Worst place for pollution in London? The North Circular.
It's actually the Underground.
- Yeah.
- Is it? They did a study at University College London in 2001.
They found the air quality in carriages was 73 times worse than at street level.
So if you take one single 20-minute journey on the Northern Line, you might as well have had a fag.
LAUGHTER It's the iron oxide particles caused by the grinding of the wheels and the rails as the trains brake.
So it is about the most dangerous place in fact to breathe in the whole of London.
Oh, my God! That's upset everybody in the room.
LAUGHTER Half these people came on the Northern Line, didn't you? Well, we're lucky if they get through the evening.
LAUGHTER Now, why might it be a bad idea to remove all the dead wood from the Houses of Parliament? LAUGHTER So many answers, so little time.
Is it something to do with the Gunpowder Plot? Yes, I think the Gunpowder Plot, I'm with Bridget.
- Er, no.
- No, it's nothing to with that.
LAUGHTER - It's later than the Gunpowder Plot.
- Later.
Well, we are talking about 1834.
Up until 1826, the Palace of Westminster kept all its financial records on something called tally sticks.
So you had a stick and you split it in two when you issued a debt.
And when the payment was made, - the two sticks were tied back together again.
- Wow.
But eventually, of course, paper records superseded the need for these, and now they'd got a lot of old wood.
So they decided to get rid of it.
The obvious idea was to burn it.
So, on the 16th October 1834 the Clerk of the Works, who's in various records called Mr Whibley or Mr Woebley, he ordered two cartloads of these tally sticks to be burnt.
Mr Wibbly Wobbly? Mr Wobbly Wobbly, yes.
LAUGHTER Mr Wibbly Wobbly, get rid of the sticks.
- LAUGHTER - Don't, no, don't, Mr Wibbly Wobbly.
SILLY VOICE: OK then, OK then.
LAUGHTER Rid of the sticks you want! LAUGHTER It was just like that.
- Like Christopher Butterslip.
- Yes.
I've got a character act - called Christopher Butterslip.
- He drops everything, doesn't he? Yes, he's got very slippery fingers, and his LAUGHTER His catchphrase is, "Whoopsie plops!" LAUGHTER What's his job, Christopher Butterslip? LAUGHING: Oh, he's an auctioneer.
LAUGHTER - That's fantastic.
"This Ming vase".
- Yeah.
So, Mr Whibley Woebley decided to burn two cart-loads of these tally sticks in the basement stoves at the Palace of Westminster.
And the resulting fire burnt down both the House of Lords - and the House of Commons.
- Holy! What an idiot, Mr Wibbly Wobbly Didn't feel good about it.
- LAUGHTER - He should've known.
- Yeah.
What have I done?! LAUGHTER Who did you entrust this job to? Now, don't get angry.
And it had better not have been Mr Wibbly Wobbly! So, the chimneys had not been properly maintained.
In those days, we're still talking about children going up chimneys and they had cut footholds into them, there was a lot of residue and the copper linings of the chimneys actually caught fire and it spread eventually to the entire wooden interior of Parliament.
And there was no Fire Brigade at the time.
So, everything was run by the insurance company.
It took five hours for the fire boat to get to the Houses of Parliament, because the tide was wrong.
LAUGHTER It was the largest fire since 1666.
Turner painted several canvases of the disaster, - and Constable too sketched it sitting in a hansom cab.
- Yes.
- On Westminster Bridge.
- Did they have to rebuild the whole shebang? Yes.
That's when we get the designs that we have today, - Charles Barry and Pugin.
- Big Ben and everything? - Big Ben and everything, yeah.
- Wow.
Well, apart from Westminster Hall.
Westminster Hall was saved, so parts of it are 1,000 years old or more, and it only was saved because the wind changed.
Phew! I know! So, here's a supplementary question.
How did the fire, the one at the Houses of Parliament, affect the length and breadth of Trafalgar Square? - Oh.
- Oh.
It hadn't been built yet.
- Well - Good answer.
That's a good answer.
- Even if that's wrong, that's a good answer.
- Yeah.
- LAUGHTER - I like it.
So, apart from the tally sticks and all the stuff in Parliament that was destroyed, the very objects which defined the imperial standards of measurement were lost.
So it meant that you had no way of ultimately deciding the length of something.
Yes? There's a bronze plaque of all the weights - and measures in Trafalgar Square on the wall.
- You get an extra point.
There is indeed such a plaque, and you can see it today.
APPLAUSE The mathematician and astronomer called Sir George Airy, he was charged with creating these new objects.
They wanted to make sure that this could never happen again, so the standards were triplicated.
So, today you can find them in the Great Hall of the Guildhall, by the gate of the Royal Observatory in Greenwich, and as you quite rightly said, embedded in the granite at Trafalgar Square.
So, if you are facing the National Portrait Gallery, there's a sort of cafe and a bench, and actually it's slightly hidden and most people - probably don't even notice that it is there.
- My child found it and said, what's that? And I went, I dunno.
LAUGHTER "I dunno, shuddup!" LAUGHTER - "You absolute nerd!" - Trafalgar Square was being built at the time, so it opened in 1844.
So it was being built at the time.
Right, new question.
Which is my favourite Quality Street? Are we going to guess and all the klaxons will go? Green triangle.
KLAXON, LAUGHTER - No, actually, a little bit.
- Purple one.
KLAXON, LAUGHTER - Toffee penny.
- Toffee penny is, the toffee penny is my, yeah KLAXON The blue one that no-one eats.
- I reckon this is a trick.
- It's not chocolates at all.
- It's not chocolates at all, is it? - It isn't chocolates, it's a play by JM Barrie called Quality Street.
It's a four-act comedy and it was a huge hit in London.
it opened in 1901.
Played for 495 performances.
It's still done today.
It concerns Phoebe, she's in her early 30s, she's still unmarried.
And her former love, the Captain Brown, returns from the Napoleonic Wars, and she's very worried that he won't love her any more, so she disguises herself as a younger girl in order to impress him.
So, the theme of staying young.
JM Barrie uses it again later on in? Peter Pan.
Peter Pan.
The actress who very first starred in this was called Maud Adams, she was the first person to play the lead role in Quality Street, and she went on to be the first Peter Pan on Broadway.
In fact I think she played Peter Pan more than 1,500 times.
She was a superstar in her day.
One of the very first actors to earn more than 1 million a year.
- Which at the time - That's a lot.
- It's an astonishing amount of money.
And she was also an inventor.
She assisted with the development of colour photography, because she wanted to be able to capture things properly that she'd done on stage and capture them on film.
She's amazing.
Probably a lesbian.
LAUGHTER What?! Yes! LAUGHTER You can tell by the pan pipe.
Yeah, you can.
LAUGHTER She's buried next to her secretary, who was her secretary for more than 40 years, Louise Boynton.
I mean, it may just be that the secretary was busy and booked a double plot, I don't know.
LAUGHTER They are together.
There are four streets in the UK called Quality Street.
There's one in Merstham, so named when the two original stars of the West End production of Quality Street moved there.
And all the other three are in Scotland.
As far as we've been able to work out, there are no shops on any street called Quality Street which sell Quality Street chocolates.
LAUGHTER But the chocolate selection is named after the play.
John and Violet Mackintosh, who invented this new style of toffee in 1936, used the characters from the play on the packaging.
It's an arrogant advert, isn't it? "I am John Mackintosh, the Toffee King!" LAUGHTER - You should do a character of a Toffee King.
- I should, shouldn't I? - Exactly like that.
- With a little toffee hammer.
- Yes! Can you still get that, a tray of toffee with a hammer? LAUGHTER I want more sweets to have I want a fudge hammer.
Why would have a fudge hammer? That would just make a big dent.
LAUGHTER Be quite satisfying to hit some fudge with a hammer.
Maybe more satisfying than the toffee.
LAUGHTER Which? did a survey in 2018 and they found that chocolate selections always have fewer of the ones that people actually like.
So, they asked about 1,000 people to name their favourite.
The two most popular Quality Street chocolates are the purple ones and the green triangles.
And these should appear, by preference, 11 times in the box, - and they actually appear just five to six times.
- Oh.
And it's the same with Heroes, Wispas, Twirls.
No wonder this country's the way it is.
LAUGHTER The most uninspiring country in the world.
"Just the green one, please.
"The green triangle that doesn't really taste of anything.
" - Do you not have favourites? - I hit the toffee finger, - I hit the caramel.
Those ones are delicious.
- They're the same.
They are not the same, that's racist.
LAUGHTER APPLAUSE The toffee one's a lot firmer, the caramel ones are nice and soft.
Give that to an old man with dentures, - ask him if they're the same! - LAUGHTER I just didn't expect, when I started on this show, that I would watch James call Bridget a racist.
LAUGHTER Absolutely appalling what you just said about toffee fingers and caramel cups.
I like that everybody's got a line that they draw somewhere.
LAUGHTER Now, what letter did the Romans use to write the number 1,000? Oh, hang on.
- Q.
- No.
Anybody know in the audience? AUDIENCE: "M".
KLAXON Ho, ho! Ha, ha, idiots! LAUGHTER So, "M" not used to mean 1,000 until the Middle Ages.
THEY GASP Not used by the Romans at all.
What was the Middle Ages called at the time? "Now".
It was just known as "now".
LAUGHTER Why did the Romans not use it for 1,000? - What was the reason, do you think? - They couldn't count that far.
They didn't need to.
They hardly used that many large numbers.
When they did, they used an "I" in brackets.
There was a monument erected in the Roman Forum to commemorate a victory in the First Punic Wars, and on the column you can see an "I" and lots of brackets and it is repeated at least 22 times.
There may be more, but it represented the 2,200,000 bronze coin that they looted in the Carthaginian Wars, which obviously they wanted to celebrate.
Later on, to write 1,000 in Roman numerals, they used an "X" inside a circle.
And later still, they used the Greek letter Phi.
Now, like, an "I" in brackets, that's an emoji for a butt.
LAUGHTER - Is it? - Yeah, you'd be a bracket, line, bracket.
Why would you send that? Spice up some dying relationship.
LAUGHTER They've just done it on a picture here so I can see.
Yeah, it doesn't look like a bottom to me.
Um Then eventually they had the "8" on its side, which has evolved into our symbol for infinity.
And finally, the "M" was adopted in the Middle Ages, probably from the Latin "mille" for "a thousand".
So, we learn at school to write the number 9 as? - AUDIENCE: IX.
- The audience get that one.
There's a point for the audience for that one.
But also that rule comes from the Middle Ages, I'm afraid.
So, the Romans used a mixture of contractions.
So they might put "IX" like this, but they might also put "V" and four "I"s like that.
And you still see it on clock faces and watches, and actually I think it's rather beautiful.
Can you see there, the four "I"s for the number 4? And I think it's rather beautiful, because if you use the four "I"s like that, so the first four numbers, 1, 2, 3, 4, all have those beautiful "I"s in them.
The next four are the only ones with "V"s in it, and the next four are the only ones with "X"s in it.
So actually, to look at it, it's rather beautiful.
Big Ben actually breaks this convention.
The 4 is "I" and "V".
Now, what is the biggest thing you could buy with a quid? Er, is it a whale? KLAXON APPLAUSE Pound, Pound Sterling? Yes.
Let me visualise the shelves in Poundland.
I don't remember any whales there.
You could get an ironing board.
Something like that.
- Think about football.
- Football, a football club.
- Oh! Not Aston Villa or someone like that? - Chelsea Football Club, Ken Bates bought it for a pound in 1982.
- Oh.
He later, Bates, sold the club to Roman Abramovich in 2003 for £140 million.
Today it's estimated to be worth £1.
5 billion.
Other companies that have been bought for a pound, British Home Stores, Barings Bank, Reader's Digest, Homebase.
It doesn't have to be a pound.
When Rover was sold to BMW, it was ten quid.
But you have to have something.
It's a legal necessity in a contract.
It's called a consideration, something has to be paid.
It used to be known as the peppercorn, like peppercorn rent.
Bath University still pays an actual peppercorn to the city as ground rent.
- What? - Yeah.
- It's What? - How does that work? Have you woken up? What's happened? LAUGHTER When you have a legal contract, if I'm going to sell you this card, you must give me something for it.
A pen.
All right, there you are, that's And I'll have the pen.
- Actually it's quite a nice pen, thank you.
- Ah, ha! Oh, they're the old answers.
Are they physically doing it still? Are the university actually going to? - To the city and giving them a - And giving them a peppercorn? - It's become a sort of ritual.
- Do you think the peppercorns get used? - I like that the city might be building up to a whole mill.
- Yeah.
The new 12-sided pound coin, it's got a number of features that make it more difficult to counterfeit.
Anybody know what they might be? Is it a weight thing? No.
It's a kind of hologram.
- So, if you look, this is just below the Queen's head.
- Ooh! Ooh! And if, depending on the light, it either says 1 or a £ symbol.
- Ooh! - Wow.
- Ah! - If you Can you see? Just, if you flip the coin.
AUDIENCE GASPS - That's a good noise from everybody, "Ooh! Ooh!" - That was a good noise.
That's all the forgers.
A coach-load of forgers in.
"Ooh.
" Now it's time to pound our guests into submission with the coin toss that we call General Ignorance.
Fingers on buzzers, please.
- What are skid marks made from? - Zero.
Poo.
It's good to get it out of the way, isn't it? Tyres.
Rubber? So we're talking about skid marks on the road.
It's actually caused by - the bitumen heating up, rather than any tyre rubber being laid down.
- Oh! Yeah.
So, as the car's brakes stop the wheels from turning, the friction between the tyres and the surface results in high temperatures that cause the tar to melt, along with the bitumen and the bitumen oils in the asphalt, they rise to the surface.
And once the surface cools down, the skid marks will just fade away.
So the technical term for a skid mark is "a bituminous material smear".
That sign, I've always wondered, how is it possible for that skid mark to be produced by that vehicle? - It would be quite a swerve, wouldn't it? - Yes.
- That's Mr Wibble's car.
- LAUGHTER "Oh, boy!" Anybody know where the word skid comes from? - It's Scandinavia.
- It is a Randi Scandi fact.
- It comes from the old Norse word ski.
- Skid.
Which just means a stick of wood.
So it referred to the piece of wood that used to be laid down to help move logs.
They used to use skids to move things downhill.
People who lived on Skid Row were originally the loggers.
- People who hit the skids, this is about going downhill.
- Yeah.
The Open University offers a course called Analysing Skid Marks.
Apparently an important skill in motor crash forensics.
I do that every Monday, Sandi.
- Monday's wash day.
- Fine.
I see.
OK.
Do you know what's the first citation in the OED for - "skid marks", referring to stained underwear? - No.
It's Barry Humphries.
In one of his Barry McKenzie Private Eye cartoons, published in 1968.
I've got a poster of him on my wall.
You've got a wall?! Yeah, I've got a wall.
I'm doing pretty well, these days.
Saving up for some more walls.
How high is it? It's a pretty long wall actually, it's very long.
- Put a corner in it, put a corner in it.
- Yeah.
Trump's trying to buy it off me and he ain't going to get it.
- No way.
- Anyway, moving on.
Now, how many trees are there in this picture? Here we go, this is a trick.
- Is it going to be one, isn't it? - Seis.
- What did you say? - Zero.
- What did you say? - One.
- Absolutely right, there is one tree.
- Whoo! You are entirely correct.
No, no, no, no, no.
Look how many There's loads of trees! - It's called the - This show is a scam! It's called the Trembling Giant, or Pando, and it looks like an enormous grove of quaking aspens, but it's actually a single organism - and it may be up to a million years old.
- Wow! It is one of the great wonders of the United States.
It lies in Utah and it's actually a male organism, but it produces asexually, so it's reproducing new stems underneath from the roots.
And each of the 47,000 or so stems that are there are genetically identical.
Unfortunately, it hasn't been growing for 30 to 40 years.
It's possibly thought to be dying.
- It's possibly the largest organism on Earth, by weight.
- Is it not protected? - It is and they're doing their best to try and save it.
- Oh, OK.
But you get grazing animals that eat the new shoots.
When old trees die, new ones are not replacing them, which is - what used to happen.
- Right.
But the roots are thought to be at least 80,000 years old.
Some people have suggested it could be a million years old.
I think it's the most beautiful thing and very worth visiting while it's still there.
Who wrote the Haydn Quartets? Ah, oh, ha.
- No? - Haydn.
- Seis.
Yeah? I didn't say that! I didn't say anything! Bridget said it.
Did you say Haydn? - Yeah, I did, yeah.
- Aah! She said it with a sneery tone, - because he's foreign.
- Yeah.
- No.
It was dedicated to Haydn, written by Mozart, in fact.
- Oh.
Ah, I was going to say Ed Sheeran.
So, Haydn was kind of a mentor for Mozart.
Haydn didn't actually invent the quartet, but when he was about 18, he was asked by a man called Baron Furnberg to come up with something that four amateurs could play at home.
That's how string quartets began.
What type of tool is used to make jigsaw puzzles? A jigsaw.
Get it over with.
So, today, jigsaws are actually made with lasers or rolling presses, but when jigsaw puzzles were first introduced, - they were obviously made with a? - Fudge hammer.
Jigsaw.
No, not made with a jigsaw at all.
They've never been made with a jigsaw.
The jigsaw was not invented until the 1850s and the first puzzle we would recognise as a jigsaw was 1762.
But even then it was made with a fretsaw.
Why was it called a jigsaw? The term first came from a London engraver called John Spilsbury.
But they were actually called dissected puzzles to begin with.
He made a map on wood and cut out around the countries and it was to give children the opportunity to learn all the different countries.
My favourite thing - I love this fact - a jigsaw puzzle manufacturer typically uses the same cutting pattern for lots of different puzzles.
So if you buy two puzzles of the same size, from the same manufacturer, with two different pictures, you can mix and match and still make the puzzle.
And there's an art professor called Mel Andringa, who uses this to make extraordinary puzzle montages.
Have a look at this picture.
Oh, wow! Isn't that great? I'd frame that.
- You'd frame that? - I'd frame it and put it on my wall.
I think it's fantastic.
The jigsaw puzzle was invented before the jigsaw.
Which brings us to the puzzling matter of the scores.
In last place, my goodness, it's very good, with minus 42, it's Alan.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE HE MOUTHS Next, with minus 14, it's Joe.
- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - I tried.
I tried.
Climbing up to third place, with minus 13, Bridget.
- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Hooray! In second place, with minus 12, it's James.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Impossible.
But this week's winner, with minus nine, it's the audience! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thanks to our guests, James, Joe, Bridget and Alan.
And I leave you with this quality quotation from the American columnist and author, Alice Khan.
"For a list of all the ways technology has failed to "improve the quality of life, please press 3.
" Goodbye.