South Park s22e01 Episode Script
Dead Kids
1 I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind Ample parking day or night People spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhm rm! Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine I want you all to take a close look at your math exams, children.
Some of you did very well, but many of you did not.
Aw, man! The addition of fractions is very simple.
Let's run through it again.
How do we solve this first one? - [GUNSHOTS.]
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Add together the 3 and the 3! Good, Butters.
We add the 3's together.
And what about the 4's? Token? They're the denominators, so they stay a 4.
Wait, wait! Token got an "A"? But I cheated off of Token! - [SIREN WAILS.]
- I-I can't hear you, Eric.
I said something's wrong! I got an "F," but I cheated off Token! Active shooter! Active shooter! - MAN ON RADIO: All units, report in.
- And now we divide, right? Craig, how about you? What are we dividing? - Divide 4 by 6? - The 4 by 6 - Unit five in southwest classroom! - Or the 6 by the 4? The 6 by the 4.
- Southwest classroom clear! - MAN ON RADIO: Copy.
Now, we're gonna re-take the exam - on Friday.
- [KIDS GROAN.]
Shooter's in the hallway! All units, report! Now, I'm giving you an opportunity to do better.
I hope you take advantage of it.
- Put down the gun, son.
- You can see where Token erased his answers and wrote in the right ones! He did it to me on purpose! - [GUNSHOT.]
- Eric, that's enough.
MAN ON RADIO: Shooter is down.
Shooter is down.
Now, let's move on to the next equation.
- [POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
- [HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING, SIREN CHIRPS.]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- [KIDS CHEERING.]
- That is such bullshit, you guys! Token knew I was cheating off of him, so he deliberately put down the wrong answers! Why would he do that? I flunked that test, too.
I don't understand fractions.
- They don't make any sense.
- That's not the point, you guys.
Why is Token out to get me? There's something going on here.
Another school shooting today has left students in shock and disbelief.
Yeah, Token's probably sick of you cheating off of him all the time.
But why now? That's the question, Kyle.
I always cheat off Token.
Why did he choose now to hurt me? Stanley! Stanley, oh, my God! Baby! - Oh, you're okay! - Uh, hey, Mom.
It's all right, Stanley.
We're gonna go home and talk about this with your dad.
And we will get through this as a family.
Come on.
Get in the car.
Dude, what's up Stan's mom's ass? [UTENSILS CLACK, SCRAPE.]
Stanley Well? Do you want to tell your father about what happened at school today? Um O-Oh.
I flunked my math quiz.
No! The other thing! What other thing? What happened at school today? - Oh, the school shooting? - Yes! The school shooting! Oh, yeah.
Some kid shot up the school.
Who shot up the schoo Was it you? - No.
- Did you get shot? No.
Oh.
Well, what's this about failing a math quiz? Are you serious?! Did you not hear what your child said?! Kids died at his school! I'm sorry, Sharon.
I Why are you all acting like this is normal? What is wrong with you people? What's up mom's ass? Hey, Sharon.
You doing okay? No, I'm not okay! Children were shot! They were killed at a school where they were supposed to be safe! Uh-huh, and what else is going on? Why does there need to be anything else?! Are you kidding me?! - I'm sorry, Sharon.
- Why isn't anyone else emotional?! Hon, uh when was your last I mean, you know how sometimes things can seem like a little bigger deal 'cause, you know, your down there? Don't you dare suggest that I'm only emotional because it's I'm I'm just I'm just pointing out that it is around that time.
Get out, Randy! I'm not overreacting! Okay.
Okay.
Love you, honey.
I'll leave you alone.
[SIGHS.]
Whelp, another three days of this, probably.
There have been some problems here at the school lately.
A lot of students are experiencing anxiety, and Eric Cartman just wanted to be able to voice his concerns.
Go ahead, Eric.
Token.
Token [SIGHS.]
there are some terrible things that I realize you might have heard from the other kids here at school.
There are some rumors that have been going around about me that that I thought "Black Panther" was a terrible movie.
There's rumors that I said it was a structural mess, you know, that the rhinos were really stupid.
I want to assure you that I never said anything like that.
I loved "Black Panther.
" So if, you know, you feel like there's a need to come after me to get back at me, I just need you to know that people are lying because I liked "Black Panther" just as much as you did.
I am not a racist.
I actually never saw "Black Panther.
" Say what, girlfrriend?! Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?! Come on, Rog! You never saw "Black Panther?" - No, I didn't see it.
- But I thought all of you saw it.
- [GUNSHOTS.]
- I got this one.
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
- All right, everyone, get down! - Everybody, get the (BLEEP) down! - Token, let's be honest with each other, okay? Why else would you manipulate my test grades? How exactly did Token manipulate your grades, Eric? There was a test.
I should have got an "A" on it, but Token did things to make me fail, - and it's not fair.
- M'kay! M'kay! - Who's shootin' up the school? - Is that true, Token? Did you do something to make Eric fail a test? I didn't make him fail, no.
You didn't make me fail the test, and you didn't see "Black Panther.
" Right.
I mean I mean, this is ridiculous.
Over this way! Into the cafeteria! Right over there, m'kay? No, you shot the wrong one! Thanks for coming, everybody.
I'm sure you all heard there was yet another school shooting today.
We have to figure out what we're going to do as parents because this whole thing is out of control.
- [SIGHS.]
- We have to ask ourselves why this is happening and do something now! Well, you know, Sharon, I think it is a complex issue, you know.
It's It's not really as simple as just What I'm saying is that that with issues like this, sometimes you have to be kind of crazy? What are you talking about?! Do you understand that our children are being murdered? Red.
How much closer to home can this all hit? - It was at our children's school! - Crazy time.
Crazy red time.
I agree with my wife.
Well, there certainly are things that need changing.
Just yesterday, I was at the park with my son Craig, and have you seen the state of the playground equipment? Not only does it seem unsafe, but it's become quite an eyesore.
The whole park could use an upgrade, if you ask me.
It's become a camp-out for the homeless.
Are you (BLEEP) joking?! You're gonna take one second to compare child murder to park upgrades?! What is wrong with everybody?! You've all gone crazy! Anybody need a drink? - [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
- [METAL DETECTORS BEEPING.]
- [DOGS BARK.]
- [CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
- Butters.
Waah! Oh! - Oh, hey, Eric! - Butters, I need help.
My mom said if I flunk another math test, she's gonna ground me from playing "Fortnite.
" Oh, geez.
You want me to help you study? No, dumbass.
I need to get some dirt on Token so he stops punishing me for what I supposedly said about "Black Panther.
" Ooh.
"Black Panther"? Well, that was a great movie! No, it wasn't.
But now, listen.
There's got to be something Token wouldn't want people to know, something I can use as leverage.
Well, what do you want me to do? - I got hall monitor duty.
- Just ask around.
If you find any dirt on Token, give me a call.
Okay, Eric.
CARTMAN: This world is full of two types of people the ones who are honest, and the ones who don't play by the rules.
Token's got everyone believing he's the one African American in the entire country who didn't see "Black Panther.
" What else is he lying about? [BLOWS NOSE.]
It just gets so hard, you know? Everything's going fine, and then at a certain time of the month, I have to start walking on eggshells.
It's all right, Randy.
It's just It's just once, I'd like her to acknowledge it, you know? Just once say, "You know, maybe I was overreacting a little bit" - "'cause of my hormones.
" - Randy, they just announced on the news there's been another school shooting in Jefferson County! Okay, Sharon.
Cool.
What is cool about that?! N-Nothing.
I love you, sweetheart.
- God! - [SIGHS.]
I don't know.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
It's like I turn on the TV and dread they'll say something about a school shooting because it's gonna set my wife off.
Well, Randy, have you stopped to think that maybe this problem is bigger than Sharon's period? [SNIFFLES.]
What What do you mean? I mean that maybe what's going on really is a big deal.
What if this is actually menopause? Menopause? I don't even know what that is.
Well, you see, Mr.
Marsh, when the woman's ovaries actually stop producing eggs, it's a significant change.
It's this ending of the the menstrual cycle in a woman's life that we call menopause.
Uh-huh.
But if a woman isn't having periods anymore, then why would she still overreact and be bitchy? Well, actually, menopause is one of the most severely hormonal times a woman ever goes through.
It's good you sought the advice of a medical professional because the changes in your wife's body are going to be confusing and at times hard to cope with.
Well, wait.
You're saying this could actually get worse? I'm afraid so.
Ah, no.
Dead ones go in the other truck.
You see, Mr.
Marsh, menopause is almost like a super period, and it's been known to last for up to two years.
Oh, my God.
[DOOR SQUEAKS.]
- Nichole, can I talk to you? - 'Bout what? Word on the street is you and Token are back together.
We're trying.
Just talking a lot and seeing if we can work things out.
Why did you break up with him? - What did he do to you? - That's really none of your business.
He didn't take you to see "Black Panther" with him, did he? That must have really stung.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, no? When you guys talk about how sweet "Black Panther" was, what's he say? - We've never talked about it.
- Right.
You two guys just hang out and talk, and "Black Panther" never comes up.
Why are you covering for Token? What's he have on you? I gotta get to class.
CARTMAN: $1.
3 billion domestic box office.
A milestone for African Americans.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
- And I'm supposed to believe that Token and his little sex kitten never even talked about it.
The all school test is in less than 72 hours.
Unless I find a connection, I'll be grounded from "Fortnite" for weeks.
[MOUSE CLICKS.]
Hello, Mom and Dad.
I keep thinking, when will be the time that I get the call? You know? When will I answer the phone and find out my son, my daughter were killed at school? Mm-hmm.
- eah, I see.
- I live in constant fear that I won't be there to protect my children when something happens - to them.
- Well, Sharon, have you maybe considered that your feelings are partly due to Handkerchief balls? What? Handkerchief balls.
Handkerchief out the balls.
Red handkerchief.
No No more handkerchief.
No more No more red.
Zero.
Empty.
Old lady.
What I'm saying is that I'm so overwhelmed that I Old lady, where's my dick? Where's my dick? What the hell are you talking about?! I don't understand! God damn it! Stop acting like there's something wrong with me.
Something's wrong with you, all of you! Try having some goddamn compassion! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, my other favorite part was when Black Panther had those dreams about his dead father.
I mean the dad, the tribal leader, speaking to the new king about being a good leader.
I've never seen a movie do that before, except for "Lion King" of course, but "Black Panther" was so original.
- We enjoyed it, yes.
- So, uh, what was Token's favorite part of "Black Panther"? - Token? - Yeah.
You must have all had some deep family talks about it.
What does Token say about it on "Black Panther" family discussion night? Get out of my house.
Token.
Come on.
- Get out.
- Sure thing.
You know, we were just talking about how your family did see "Black Panther.
" Oh, no, not the family.
Token's mom and I saw it on date night.
We're gonna watch it again with Token, though.
We don't let him watch it alone because it's PG-13.
Well, I guess there's nothing more to it, then.
Nice talking to you folks.
You know, just one last thing.
If you ever found out your son saw a PG-13 movie without you, you'd probably be pretty pissed off.
- Well, Token wouldn't do that.
- No.
No, he'd have no reason to falsely claim he's the only one who hasn't seen "Black Panther.
" I'll see you at school.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Sharon! Sharon, you have to come quick! - What is it? - There's another shooting happening at the school right now! It just started.
Maybe we can make it in time! Oh, my God! [TIRES SCREECH.]
Come on! We have to hurry! - No, Sharon, you go ahead first! - Why? You just You should go! [ANDY WILLIAMS' "LOVE STORY" PLAYS.]
What the (BLEEP) is going on? Where do I begin To tell the story of how great a love can be? Surprise, Sharon.
The sweet love story that is older than the sea - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- [WATER RUNNING.]
- Oh, hey, man.
- [LOCK CLICKS.]
The big math quiz is about to start.
You gonna let me cheat off you? Nope.
Nope.
You saw "Black Panther" without your parents' permission.
I typed up all my findings, Token.
I made 10 copies and put them in envelopes.
If I don't pass this math quiz, the envelopes are all set to be sent to 10 different news organizations.
You did all of that instead of actually studying for the test? So, what's it gonna be, Token? You can be mad I didn't like "Black Panther," but you can't take it out on me anymore.
I didn't see "Black Panther.
" Then I guess your parents won't be mad when they read my report.
In poker, they call it a bluff.
I know that right now, Token's shitting his pants.
All I need to do now is wait for the poop to stink.
She fills my heart with very special things With angel songs, with wild imaginings Token, we are running out of time.
If you don't let me cheat off of you, I'm going to tell your parents that you saw "Black Panther" in the theater without them.
I didn't see "Black Panther" in the theater! Of course you did, Token! That's why me ripping on it pissed you off so much! I swear on my mother's life.
I don't care what you said about "Black Panther.
" Goodbye.
But, Token, I don't understand! If you didn't see it and you really don't care that I ripped on "Black Panther," then why won't you let me cheat Oh, my God.
You don't care what I said because you did see it and you didn't like it either.
[GASPS.]
That's what this is all about, isn't it? You hate yourself for seeing through the mirage like I did, and that's why you wouldn't let me cheat off you! Well, I didn't write "Black Panther," Token! It isn't my fault it sucked! Why go after me? But now, it's over.
Don't worry.
They're not gonna know you didn't like "Black Panther", so long as you never make me fail another math test.
Well, we're probably both gonna fail now because fourth period already started.
What? No! We have to take that test, Token! Come on! We can still get to class on time! - [GUNSHOTS.]
- Oh, great.
- Come on! We can do this! - [GUNFIRE, PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Billy! Give me your lunchbox! - [BULLETS RICOCHETING.]
- Butters! It's the entire glee club this time! Butters, I have to get to class! The math quiz is starting! Oh, crap! The math quiz? - It's already fourth period? - I can't flunk this math quiz, - Butters! Cover me! - Well, okay! Waaaaaargh! - Wargggggghgghghh! - [GUNFIRE.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
How long does it last? Can love be measured by the hours in a day? - [GLASS SHATTERS.]
- [SLOW-MO SCREAM.]
You did everything you could, Mr.
Marsh.
If your wife can't realize the truth and appreciate you, maybe she never will.
Realize what? What have you been telling everybody, Randy? Randy was just trying to make you feel loved while you're going through menopause.
Menopause?! I'm not going through (BLEEP) menopause! - How do you know? - I just got my period this morning! You You got your period? Yes! - You just got your period this morning.
- Yes! So, the past few days, maybe you have been just a little SHARON: No! No! Nothing! Don't you guys see what's happened here?! I want you to be angry! Every day, we hear about another school shooting! It used to be a big deal! I want it to be a big deal again.
I mean, Harriet, you came to my house and said there was a school shooting to trick me into going with you! I was just trying to be a part of the big surprise, Sharon.
That's what I'm talking about! That's crazy, Harriet! I want you all to be shocked! I want you all to be sad! You want everyone to be sad? Well Sharon, if you wanted to make me sad, congratulations.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
You did a great job.
Yeah, let's go somewhere without so much negativity.
Aw, guys, she didn't mean it.
She just Give her a [SIGHS.]
The quiz is multiple choice, but be sure to show all your work.
You'll have 20 minutes to complete your answers.
All right.
Your time starts now.
CARTMAN: Everybody has dirty laundry.
All it takes to find it is getting a little dirty yourself.
The only question now is, how many other Tokens are out there? How many others are afraid to say that "Black Panther" wasn't all that sweet because of the damage it could do to them? What do you mean? I mean, in a school of 200 students, there's already two who are covering up the truth.
All Token is doing by letting you cheat off him is keeping the whole thing quiet even longer.
There are others out there and even if it means failing, I'm their only damn hope.
Randy? We need to talk.
Sure, honey.
There's been too much pain and suffering, and it has to stop.
I know, sweetheart.
I know.
What I'm trying to say is I've been very emotional lately, and maybe maybe I do overreact sometimes.
Waaaah? Maybe I need to realize that my emotions can be hormonal and not just take things out on you.
Aaaah? Aaaaah? Randy I'm sorry.
Aaaah.
Aaaaaah.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
Thank you, Sharon.
I don't know what it's like to have periods, but I'll try to be more understanding from now on.
[CELLPHONE RINGS.]
Sorry.
Sorry.
One second.
- [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
- Hello? Yes.
What? When? Oh, my God.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
- [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
- What is it? There's been another school shooting.
Stan's been shot.
Should we get down there? [SIGHS.]
It's not the end of the world.
Aaaah.
[LAUGHING.]
I love you, Sharon.
Some of you did very well, but many of you did not.
Aw, man! The addition of fractions is very simple.
Let's run through it again.
How do we solve this first one? - [GUNSHOTS.]
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Add together the 3 and the 3! Good, Butters.
We add the 3's together.
And what about the 4's? Token? They're the denominators, so they stay a 4.
Wait, wait! Token got an "A"? But I cheated off of Token! - [SIREN WAILS.]
- I-I can't hear you, Eric.
I said something's wrong! I got an "F," but I cheated off Token! Active shooter! Active shooter! - MAN ON RADIO: All units, report in.
- And now we divide, right? Craig, how about you? What are we dividing? - Divide 4 by 6? - The 4 by 6 - Unit five in southwest classroom! - Or the 6 by the 4? The 6 by the 4.
- Southwest classroom clear! - MAN ON RADIO: Copy.
Now, we're gonna re-take the exam - on Friday.
- [KIDS GROAN.]
Shooter's in the hallway! All units, report! Now, I'm giving you an opportunity to do better.
I hope you take advantage of it.
- Put down the gun, son.
- You can see where Token erased his answers and wrote in the right ones! He did it to me on purpose! - [GUNSHOT.]
- Eric, that's enough.
MAN ON RADIO: Shooter is down.
Shooter is down.
Now, let's move on to the next equation.
- [POLICE RADIO CHATTER.]
- [HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING, SIREN CHIRPS.]
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- [KIDS CHEERING.]
- That is such bullshit, you guys! Token knew I was cheating off of him, so he deliberately put down the wrong answers! Why would he do that? I flunked that test, too.
I don't understand fractions.
- They don't make any sense.
- That's not the point, you guys.
Why is Token out to get me? There's something going on here.
Another school shooting today has left students in shock and disbelief.
Yeah, Token's probably sick of you cheating off of him all the time.
But why now? That's the question, Kyle.
I always cheat off Token.
Why did he choose now to hurt me? Stanley! Stanley, oh, my God! Baby! - Oh, you're okay! - Uh, hey, Mom.
It's all right, Stanley.
We're gonna go home and talk about this with your dad.
And we will get through this as a family.
Come on.
Get in the car.
Dude, what's up Stan's mom's ass? [UTENSILS CLACK, SCRAPE.]
Stanley Well? Do you want to tell your father about what happened at school today? Um O-Oh.
I flunked my math quiz.
No! The other thing! What other thing? What happened at school today? - Oh, the school shooting? - Yes! The school shooting! Oh, yeah.
Some kid shot up the school.
Who shot up the schoo Was it you? - No.
- Did you get shot? No.
Oh.
Well, what's this about failing a math quiz? Are you serious?! Did you not hear what your child said?! Kids died at his school! I'm sorry, Sharon.
I Why are you all acting like this is normal? What is wrong with you people? What's up mom's ass? Hey, Sharon.
You doing okay? No, I'm not okay! Children were shot! They were killed at a school where they were supposed to be safe! Uh-huh, and what else is going on? Why does there need to be anything else?! Are you kidding me?! - I'm sorry, Sharon.
- Why isn't anyone else emotional?! Hon, uh when was your last I mean, you know how sometimes things can seem like a little bigger deal 'cause, you know, your down there? Don't you dare suggest that I'm only emotional because it's I'm I'm just I'm just pointing out that it is around that time.
Get out, Randy! I'm not overreacting! Okay.
Okay.
Love you, honey.
I'll leave you alone.
[SIGHS.]
Whelp, another three days of this, probably.
There have been some problems here at the school lately.
A lot of students are experiencing anxiety, and Eric Cartman just wanted to be able to voice his concerns.
Go ahead, Eric.
Token.
Token [SIGHS.]
there are some terrible things that I realize you might have heard from the other kids here at school.
There are some rumors that have been going around about me that that I thought "Black Panther" was a terrible movie.
There's rumors that I said it was a structural mess, you know, that the rhinos were really stupid.
I want to assure you that I never said anything like that.
I loved "Black Panther.
" So if, you know, you feel like there's a need to come after me to get back at me, I just need you to know that people are lying because I liked "Black Panther" just as much as you did.
I am not a racist.
I actually never saw "Black Panther.
" Say what, girlfrriend?! Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?! Come on, Rog! You never saw "Black Panther?" - No, I didn't see it.
- But I thought all of you saw it.
- [GUNSHOTS.]
- I got this one.
- [PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
- All right, everyone, get down! - Everybody, get the (BLEEP) down! - Token, let's be honest with each other, okay? Why else would you manipulate my test grades? How exactly did Token manipulate your grades, Eric? There was a test.
I should have got an "A" on it, but Token did things to make me fail, - and it's not fair.
- M'kay! M'kay! - Who's shootin' up the school? - Is that true, Token? Did you do something to make Eric fail a test? I didn't make him fail, no.
You didn't make me fail the test, and you didn't see "Black Panther.
" Right.
I mean I mean, this is ridiculous.
Over this way! Into the cafeteria! Right over there, m'kay? No, you shot the wrong one! Thanks for coming, everybody.
I'm sure you all heard there was yet another school shooting today.
We have to figure out what we're going to do as parents because this whole thing is out of control.
- [SIGHS.]
- We have to ask ourselves why this is happening and do something now! Well, you know, Sharon, I think it is a complex issue, you know.
It's It's not really as simple as just What I'm saying is that that with issues like this, sometimes you have to be kind of crazy? What are you talking about?! Do you understand that our children are being murdered? Red.
How much closer to home can this all hit? - It was at our children's school! - Crazy time.
Crazy red time.
I agree with my wife.
Well, there certainly are things that need changing.
Just yesterday, I was at the park with my son Craig, and have you seen the state of the playground equipment? Not only does it seem unsafe, but it's become quite an eyesore.
The whole park could use an upgrade, if you ask me.
It's become a camp-out for the homeless.
Are you (BLEEP) joking?! You're gonna take one second to compare child murder to park upgrades?! What is wrong with everybody?! You've all gone crazy! Anybody need a drink? - [SCHOOL BELL RINGS.]
- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
- [METAL DETECTORS BEEPING.]
- [DOGS BARK.]
- [CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
- Butters.
Waah! Oh! - Oh, hey, Eric! - Butters, I need help.
My mom said if I flunk another math test, she's gonna ground me from playing "Fortnite.
" Oh, geez.
You want me to help you study? No, dumbass.
I need to get some dirt on Token so he stops punishing me for what I supposedly said about "Black Panther.
" Ooh.
"Black Panther"? Well, that was a great movie! No, it wasn't.
But now, listen.
There's got to be something Token wouldn't want people to know, something I can use as leverage.
Well, what do you want me to do? - I got hall monitor duty.
- Just ask around.
If you find any dirt on Token, give me a call.
Okay, Eric.
CARTMAN: This world is full of two types of people the ones who are honest, and the ones who don't play by the rules.
Token's got everyone believing he's the one African American in the entire country who didn't see "Black Panther.
" What else is he lying about? [BLOWS NOSE.]
It just gets so hard, you know? Everything's going fine, and then at a certain time of the month, I have to start walking on eggshells.
It's all right, Randy.
It's just It's just once, I'd like her to acknowledge it, you know? Just once say, "You know, maybe I was overreacting a little bit" - "'cause of my hormones.
" - Randy, they just announced on the news there's been another school shooting in Jefferson County! Okay, Sharon.
Cool.
What is cool about that?! N-Nothing.
I love you, sweetheart.
- God! - [SIGHS.]
I don't know.
I don't know how much more of this I can take.
It's like I turn on the TV and dread they'll say something about a school shooting because it's gonna set my wife off.
Well, Randy, have you stopped to think that maybe this problem is bigger than Sharon's period? [SNIFFLES.]
What What do you mean? I mean that maybe what's going on really is a big deal.
What if this is actually menopause? Menopause? I don't even know what that is.
Well, you see, Mr.
Marsh, when the woman's ovaries actually stop producing eggs, it's a significant change.
It's this ending of the the menstrual cycle in a woman's life that we call menopause.
Uh-huh.
But if a woman isn't having periods anymore, then why would she still overreact and be bitchy? Well, actually, menopause is one of the most severely hormonal times a woman ever goes through.
It's good you sought the advice of a medical professional because the changes in your wife's body are going to be confusing and at times hard to cope with.
Well, wait.
You're saying this could actually get worse? I'm afraid so.
Ah, no.
Dead ones go in the other truck.
You see, Mr.
Marsh, menopause is almost like a super period, and it's been known to last for up to two years.
Oh, my God.
[DOOR SQUEAKS.]
- Nichole, can I talk to you? - 'Bout what? Word on the street is you and Token are back together.
We're trying.
Just talking a lot and seeing if we can work things out.
Why did you break up with him? - What did he do to you? - That's really none of your business.
He didn't take you to see "Black Panther" with him, did he? That must have really stung.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, no? When you guys talk about how sweet "Black Panther" was, what's he say? - We've never talked about it.
- Right.
You two guys just hang out and talk, and "Black Panther" never comes up.
Why are you covering for Token? What's he have on you? I gotta get to class.
CARTMAN: $1.
3 billion domestic box office.
A milestone for African Americans.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
- And I'm supposed to believe that Token and his little sex kitten never even talked about it.
The all school test is in less than 72 hours.
Unless I find a connection, I'll be grounded from "Fortnite" for weeks.
[MOUSE CLICKS.]
Hello, Mom and Dad.
I keep thinking, when will be the time that I get the call? You know? When will I answer the phone and find out my son, my daughter were killed at school? Mm-hmm.
- eah, I see.
- I live in constant fear that I won't be there to protect my children when something happens - to them.
- Well, Sharon, have you maybe considered that your feelings are partly due to Handkerchief balls? What? Handkerchief balls.
Handkerchief out the balls.
Red handkerchief.
No No more handkerchief.
No more No more red.
Zero.
Empty.
Old lady.
What I'm saying is that I'm so overwhelmed that I Old lady, where's my dick? Where's my dick? What the hell are you talking about?! I don't understand! God damn it! Stop acting like there's something wrong with me.
Something's wrong with you, all of you! Try having some goddamn compassion! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, my other favorite part was when Black Panther had those dreams about his dead father.
I mean the dad, the tribal leader, speaking to the new king about being a good leader.
I've never seen a movie do that before, except for "Lion King" of course, but "Black Panther" was so original.
- We enjoyed it, yes.
- So, uh, what was Token's favorite part of "Black Panther"? - Token? - Yeah.
You must have all had some deep family talks about it.
What does Token say about it on "Black Panther" family discussion night? Get out of my house.
Token.
Come on.
- Get out.
- Sure thing.
You know, we were just talking about how your family did see "Black Panther.
" Oh, no, not the family.
Token's mom and I saw it on date night.
We're gonna watch it again with Token, though.
We don't let him watch it alone because it's PG-13.
Well, I guess there's nothing more to it, then.
Nice talking to you folks.
You know, just one last thing.
If you ever found out your son saw a PG-13 movie without you, you'd probably be pretty pissed off.
- Well, Token wouldn't do that.
- No.
No, he'd have no reason to falsely claim he's the only one who hasn't seen "Black Panther.
" I'll see you at school.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Sharon! Sharon, you have to come quick! - What is it? - There's another shooting happening at the school right now! It just started.
Maybe we can make it in time! Oh, my God! [TIRES SCREECH.]
Come on! We have to hurry! - No, Sharon, you go ahead first! - Why? You just You should go! [ANDY WILLIAMS' "LOVE STORY" PLAYS.]
What the (BLEEP) is going on? Where do I begin To tell the story of how great a love can be? Surprise, Sharon.
The sweet love story that is older than the sea - [TOILET FLUSHES.]
- [WATER RUNNING.]
- Oh, hey, man.
- [LOCK CLICKS.]
The big math quiz is about to start.
You gonna let me cheat off you? Nope.
Nope.
You saw "Black Panther" without your parents' permission.
I typed up all my findings, Token.
I made 10 copies and put them in envelopes.
If I don't pass this math quiz, the envelopes are all set to be sent to 10 different news organizations.
You did all of that instead of actually studying for the test? So, what's it gonna be, Token? You can be mad I didn't like "Black Panther," but you can't take it out on me anymore.
I didn't see "Black Panther.
" Then I guess your parents won't be mad when they read my report.
In poker, they call it a bluff.
I know that right now, Token's shitting his pants.
All I need to do now is wait for the poop to stink.
She fills my heart with very special things With angel songs, with wild imaginings Token, we are running out of time.
If you don't let me cheat off of you, I'm going to tell your parents that you saw "Black Panther" in the theater without them.
I didn't see "Black Panther" in the theater! Of course you did, Token! That's why me ripping on it pissed you off so much! I swear on my mother's life.
I don't care what you said about "Black Panther.
" Goodbye.
But, Token, I don't understand! If you didn't see it and you really don't care that I ripped on "Black Panther," then why won't you let me cheat Oh, my God.
You don't care what I said because you did see it and you didn't like it either.
[GASPS.]
That's what this is all about, isn't it? You hate yourself for seeing through the mirage like I did, and that's why you wouldn't let me cheat off you! Well, I didn't write "Black Panther," Token! It isn't my fault it sucked! Why go after me? But now, it's over.
Don't worry.
They're not gonna know you didn't like "Black Panther", so long as you never make me fail another math test.
Well, we're probably both gonna fail now because fourth period already started.
What? No! We have to take that test, Token! Come on! We can still get to class on time! - [GUNSHOTS.]
- Oh, great.
- Come on! We can do this! - [GUNFIRE, PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Billy! Give me your lunchbox! - [BULLETS RICOCHETING.]
- Butters! It's the entire glee club this time! Butters, I have to get to class! The math quiz is starting! Oh, crap! The math quiz? - It's already fourth period? - I can't flunk this math quiz, - Butters! Cover me! - Well, okay! Waaaaaargh! - Wargggggghgghghh! - [GUNFIRE.]
[MUSIC CONTINUES.]
How long does it last? Can love be measured by the hours in a day? - [GLASS SHATTERS.]
- [SLOW-MO SCREAM.]
You did everything you could, Mr.
Marsh.
If your wife can't realize the truth and appreciate you, maybe she never will.
Realize what? What have you been telling everybody, Randy? Randy was just trying to make you feel loved while you're going through menopause.
Menopause?! I'm not going through (BLEEP) menopause! - How do you know? - I just got my period this morning! You You got your period? Yes! - You just got your period this morning.
- Yes! So, the past few days, maybe you have been just a little SHARON: No! No! Nothing! Don't you guys see what's happened here?! I want you to be angry! Every day, we hear about another school shooting! It used to be a big deal! I want it to be a big deal again.
I mean, Harriet, you came to my house and said there was a school shooting to trick me into going with you! I was just trying to be a part of the big surprise, Sharon.
That's what I'm talking about! That's crazy, Harriet! I want you all to be shocked! I want you all to be sad! You want everyone to be sad? Well Sharon, if you wanted to make me sad, congratulations.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
You did a great job.
Yeah, let's go somewhere without so much negativity.
Aw, guys, she didn't mean it.
She just Give her a [SIGHS.]
The quiz is multiple choice, but be sure to show all your work.
You'll have 20 minutes to complete your answers.
All right.
Your time starts now.
CARTMAN: Everybody has dirty laundry.
All it takes to find it is getting a little dirty yourself.
The only question now is, how many other Tokens are out there? How many others are afraid to say that "Black Panther" wasn't all that sweet because of the damage it could do to them? What do you mean? I mean, in a school of 200 students, there's already two who are covering up the truth.
All Token is doing by letting you cheat off him is keeping the whole thing quiet even longer.
There are others out there and even if it means failing, I'm their only damn hope.
Randy? We need to talk.
Sure, honey.
There's been too much pain and suffering, and it has to stop.
I know, sweetheart.
I know.
What I'm trying to say is I've been very emotional lately, and maybe maybe I do overreact sometimes.
Waaaah? Maybe I need to realize that my emotions can be hormonal and not just take things out on you.
Aaaah? Aaaaah? Randy I'm sorry.
Aaaah.
Aaaaaah.
[VOICE BREAKING.]
Thank you, Sharon.
I don't know what it's like to have periods, but I'll try to be more understanding from now on.
[CELLPHONE RINGS.]
Sorry.
Sorry.
One second.
- [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
- Hello? Yes.
What? When? Oh, my God.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Okay.
- [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
- What is it? There's been another school shooting.
Stan's been shot.
Should we get down there? [SIGHS.]
It's not the end of the world.
Aaaah.
[LAUGHING.]
I love you, Sharon.